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Running With Scissors

By Bartan Tirix

The sun lit up the spacious room, despite not being in direct line of sight of the many large windows. Nearly an entire wall of thick glass, revealing what was once the nightly city vista at least several stories up now was... Much more urban and less 'beautiful'. Like the intense light was revealing the very cracks in such a society, or at least so the polar bear thought.

...Maybe it was just her, laying in the big bed and gazing out the window. Longing for the fresh air of outside over the stagnant air of the room; the small fan doing what it could to circulate it within what was mostly a studio apartment. Large and spacious, that's for sure, but Nukarhu could only imagine how much such a thing would cost to rent.

The bear wasn't getting back to sleep, that was certain. Slowly getting up as to not awaken the striped feline she shared the night with and allowing the resident to sleep in, Nukka stepped out of the covers. Nude, flowing her fur back into place along her curves. Quickly combing her hair with those digits, enough to pass as she moved to her phone. No signal. Either from the router or celltower. Odd.

It wasn't until she looked around with those brown eyes that she... Didn't see anything on. No digital clock displays, no TV in standby mode. No lights on any devices. The power was completely out. Which also meant the powered lock on the front door to the apartment... What a dumb setup.

Oh well. The bear would have to notify her next client when she could, until then Nukarhu longed for some fresh air. Unable to find her own clothing, but a bathrobe nearby. Extra large, likely for the bulky white tiger still sleeping deeply in the bed. It would do for now.

The polar bear quietly opened the doorway to the balcony and stepped through. Closing it behind her as a faint breeze of warm summer air passed over her, leading the female to the patio table and chair set. One with the parasol missing, but she could guess what happened to it. Taking the comfy seat and just resting, gazing upon the landscape of buildings, districts and mountains to the far distance. The cars occasionally honking, but power seemed to be out everywhere around here. Honking and impatience wasn't going to do anyone any good.

It wasn't quiet, but it was rather peaceful for a city location. Allowing the bear to lose herself in thought for several minutes until the glass door slid open again and the- still naked, tigress stepped out. "I honestly thought you left, but I saw your dress on the chair." She yawned, and moved towards the bench to the outdoors table. Making the bear chuckle nervously. "Instead you do something far more sinister: you clothe yourself."

"S-sorry."

"I'm joshing, love. It looks good on you." Then a wink from the larger feline. "Then again everything does~" Another shy chuckle.

"You've done this a lot, haven't you?"

"You can tell? Your reaction does look quite genuine."

"I-it is, yes." The rather bulky white tiger got up and motioned Nukka to stop for a moment. Going inside and bringing out a couple of beers. "I-it's the morning, Kat-"

"And this is all I've got to drink. No water in the taps when the power is out." The larger one opened her bottle with her bare hand and tossed the cap on the table. Taking a drink before sighing in relief. While the bear sighed a bit and did the same, though not drinking nearly as much, just enough to satisfy her parched throat. "Even with your line of work, you still find flirting works with you?"

"It does, yes. I can't help it."

"You're adorable." Another swig and the green eyed tigress looked off into the distance for a little bit.

"So..." Nukka started, pondering her words. "How do I put this? You are... Very confident and outgoing, Kat." The larger one smirked. "As much as I appreciate the business, why hire someone for a night?" No immediate response. "I know this place, there's plenty of hotspots around here to mingle and fish around for some company... But-"

"I just wanted someone professional for a change." Nukarhu nodded in response. "Too many times I get ladies who don't know what they're doing, are too nervous to go through with it, or... And this is true, are too young- illegally so, and who have lied about their age."

"I understand. People are lonely, they just see it as a number. It's not an easy thing to go through."

"It really isn't, but we're the adults. We are the ones that have to say No, to draw the line, even if it sucks for everyone involved." Kat grumbled. "Sometimes we do want to help, and it shouldn't matter if you're going to be legal age in a week, but we're not going to put our future at risk for that."

"Definitely."

"You've run into that problem too?"

"A few times, yes. Some of which looked young and had to provide an identification for me to continue." The polar bear added, taking another sip and slightly making a face. "Sorry, I'm not terribly fond of the taste of beer."

"It's alright. You look more like a fruit-drink fem anyway."

"They are tasty." A smirk and a head shake in response. "I'm not fond of the feeling of being numb though, so I don't drink very often."

"I hear ya." Kat took a drink and looked at the bottle. "Call it an old habit that used to be a lot worse."

"Want to talk about it?" The tigress shook her head.

"Nah... I don't really want to talk about myself right now, if that's alright." Nukka nodded, as another little bit of awkward silence fell over them. "...Can I ask you a question? A personal one?" There was a bit of discomfort in her voice, replacing the confidence Kat had earlier.

"I don't mind."

"How... I read your profile, right?" Nukarhu nodded, almost knowing where this was going, which made it easier for the larger one to find the words. "What's it like? Being a female, but growing up as a male?"

"You mean like, switching genders and such?"

"Yeah." A long exhale as the bear thought about it. "I mean, people would easily kill for a chance to do that, even for a few days of being what..." A nod from the smaller one made Kat trail off.

"It's... Surreal. It messes with your brain chemistry, sometimes to the point where I don't think I'm the same person anymore." Nukarhu looked off into the distance. "I have the same thoughts, I have the same memories. Sometimes my instincts can differ, like being a bit socially shy about getting hit on."

"Did that take some getting used to?"

"It's... Slightly different when you're a female. There's a bit of a sweetness to it compared to being a male and getting flirted with. Both definitely feel good, giving confidence and overall triggering the same emotional response: blushing, shyness-"

"Arousal~?" A nervous chuckle from the bear. "And the sex?"

"The same, yet very different at the same time. It's like comparing apples to oranges, really. Both are good in their own right, some just prefer the taste of oranges."

"I know I do~" Kat winked at her, getting that same chuckle as the tigress took another drink. "Which do you prefer?"

"During a session?" A nod from the larger one. "...Male, honestly. For sex specifically."

"Oh?"

"If I'm being absolutely honest, sometimes when I'm a female and with another female, I'm not certain what I should be doing. Even after years of being a Companion, all I'm really doing is reading the room and just trying things I think they'll enjoy." Nukka admitted to that green eyed stare. Seeing Kat's eyebrow raised at her.

"...Seriously? Last night was improvised?" The bear slightly nodded and whimpered a bit. "You seemed so assured of everything."

"Well, you're large, a bit intimidating but don't want your partner to be scared." The smaller one gestured the striped form: stacked with bulk. "You work on your body quite a bit and you're proud of it, giving some admiration towards it really helps. Not to mention you enjoy using that strength you've earned, so it can make for some interesting positions that people normally wouldn't experience." Nukka looked back into the room. "L-like that thing with the shelf. And the bars."

"I told you they were secure." Kat chuckled. "What else?"

"...You like being in control, yes, but that doesn't mean you're controlling. More like you enjoy guiding others while keeping a watch over them. You enjoy having people put that trust in you, it reminds me of a pair of acrobats that I was hired to help tend to."

"Thaaat explains why you're good at holding yourself up."

"Yeah... I've been around, that's for sure." The bear mumbled shyly.

"What's weird is that you don't look like you've been around. I've seen my fair share of experienced vents, and yours..." That eyebrow again, accompanied by that smirk. "Is that due to this switching thing?"

"The transformation, yes. As well as something else that is way more complicated."

"So if you're naturally a male..." Kat leaned forwards, looking her over. "Then why this? Why this option? Did you always want to be a female?"

"Not... Specifically?" Nukarhu took a breath to ponder, and a little sip.

"I know a lot of males I've hung out with were always so uncomfortable with Rule 63, if you know what I mean."

"Y-yeah. But that's honestly never bothered me."

"Are you straight?" Kat bluntly asked, making the bear double take for a moment.

"I don't know."

"But you're not gay."

"I don't... Know."

"Are you bi?" The bear shook her head but shrugged at the same time. "Then what? Pan?"

"Are you... Bi?" Nukka shyly asked her instead, getting a very confident answer in return.

"Absolutely. Though more of a preference for females lately, but I don't mind males. Too many of them are just insecure about strong fems, so."

"But how... Can you answer that with such conviction?" That eyebrow raised again, leaving a rather puzzled look over Kat. "This is going to sound weird, but these terms never made any sense to me. I just... Like what I like, who I like. But I look and think about these labels and they don't... Fit who I am. Male or female, it's a puzzle piece that doesn't slide in correctly." The tiger nodded in response. "It's something I've honestly struggled with for so long, most of my life really. Especially when Pride Month comes up." A gesture to the air around them. "It's... I have a lot of difficulty understanding celebrations in general, but this one just feels like it's something I can't be a part of."

"Because you don't fit in with these... Labels." A bit of a sad look from the polar bear. "I see what you mean. But regardless, you are accepted among any banner. So long as you don't be an ass about it."

"I know, but I never felt comfortable in such spaces."

"With others of the same sex?"

"Not specifically. It's like a holiday that is foreign to you: you may have been told the routine, may have even practiced it before, but inside... There's nothing. No pride, no joy, no satisfaction. No anger, disgust, or anything like that either. Just... Blank." Those brown eyes just stared at the brown bottle. "Schizoid Personality Disorder. There are far far worse things out there to have, no doubt. This isn't a 'Woe Is Me' situation, but it is still a struggle and a bit lonely."

"I've never heard of that." The tigress bluntly stated, actually making Nukka chuckle a little. "That's different from the voices thingy, right?"

"Schizophrenia, yes. That's more to do with paranoia. SPD is more like... Being an alien or a robot that cannot wrap their minds around others well, so we often just keep to ourselves instead. I'm more comfortable observing than participating, because I know I can't screw up just being an observer."

"That's a... Very strange occupation that you've chosen then." A sigh from the bear, but with a smile.

"I know. But I also enjoy just helping others. Sometimes people just want company, to be heard and listened to, and I'm alright with that. Sometimes they're horny and just want some physical connection, and well... Not to brag, but I do have the body for it."

"You definitely do~"

"I-I mean, my coat is just really really soft."

"Like a giant body pillow." Kat winked at her, making the bear blush a little more. "I can only imagine how many people fell asleep while tapping that."

"A loooot more than I'd like to admit. Some before they even finished. Though some people do like their beds more firm." The smaller one gestured to Kat's torso; a smaller bust but detailed with abs beneath her fur coat.

"Yeah, my last GF did." A nod from Nukka, but the tigress didn't elaborate. "So, you feel like you're an alien to everyone?"

"K-kind of."

"That... Huh." The larger one looked around, then down at the streets over the ledge; barely seeing some of the Pride Month decor along the streets. Painted crosswalks, the occasional banner, some signs and balloons. "The more I think about it, the more this would look rather strange to a visitor who never heard of it."

"Only a little." The polar bear chuckled.

"But... Okay, that does explain some of the gender thing, but what made you want to try this? It was a choice, right?" Nukka got a little bashful at the question. "Sorry if it's making you uncomfortable, I'm just really curious about this."

"No-no, it's alright. I just don't want to bore you." The bear rubbed the back of her own neck. "Yes, this was a choice that I made in the end, but someone suggested it first. I'm happily mated, both with a male and female; an open relationship. I've always admired my wife: Kindle. I've always loved how she looked, how comfortable she was."

"Around you?" Those brown eyes double taked and stared at the tigress for a few moments. "Ohhhh, I get ya now~"

"I-I mean, she is comfortable around me regardless, yes. She's my best friend, has been for decades and we just decided to make it a thing."

"But that doesn't explain..." Nukarhu just looked at her bottle and faintly nodded.

"...I know you didn't want to talk about yourself, but how did you grow up? Sibling wise?"

"Me? ...Fine, I suppose. Have two brothers, both older but not by enough. You?"

"Three sisters. I was the only son."

"Oh yeah? Kinda similar then." Kat took a drink then it clicked. "...Oh."

"Let me guess: your parents only really knew how to raise boys?"

"Yeah. So I ended up doing a lot of sports stuff and getting hand-downs made for males. Once in a while I'd get girly stuff but I didn't like it." The polar bear nodded at her. "And it was likewise for you?"

"Kind of. But you're on the right track. I was third in a family of four, and my parents only really knew how to raise girls. 'What to give a boy?' Well, they had some ideas but... Likely with you..."

"Everything they tried was too different from the others. To the point that if we were to play with it properly, we'd be playing it alone. Annnd that sucked."

"It was definitely lonely."

"So, you got to play with dolls and dresses?" Kat asked, taking another swig.

"Kind of. I did grow up playing with- what we called Barbies at the time." An eyebrow from the large tigress. "T-that is what the toyline was called, everything was under the name of Barbie."

"I dated a Barbie once, fun girl. Could do freaking anything, buuuut she wanted cubs and I don't." A nod from Nukka as she was gestured to continue.

"But the way we played with them... It wasn't your traditional 'Dress up & go out on... A date? Prom? Dance?' I'm honestly not sure what you were supposed to do with them."

"I could never figure it out either. Have a tea party with them?" The two chuckled. "I would just play with them like action figures with my brothers."

"We were somewhat in between. Sometimes they were a crime duo or detectives, investigating scenes of broken Lego people or other toys. Other times they were like a semi-superhero squad: Charlie's Angels if you know what I mean."

"No idea." Kat answered rather quickly. "Go on."

"T-they didn't really have superpowers, but were just kinda... Heroes. Heroins, I suppose, that would just be able to take a lot of damage, have superior reflexes and endurance. That kind of stuff. And they would like... Beat up goons and mobsters. Sometimes we would play that the dolls were the mobsters instead, other times they would... Get struck by lightning?"

"Struck by lightning." The tigress repeated, trying to contain her chuckle and snorting it off. "Cubs are creative, I'll give them that. Though that's one I could see happening in a soap opera."

"Followed by a typical hospital visit, yes." The two shared a chuckle. "Only to find out they've been dating an evil twin or something."

"You've watched too many of these." The polar bear giggled, a bit more when Kat rolled her eyes.

"They were on a lot when I was waiting for my after school specials growing up. Used to do homework with it running in the background until something I was actually interested in came on." The tigress took a drink. "It wasn't until I actually started paying attention to it that I noticed how bonkers the plots actually were."

"I imagine." A bit of a breeze passed through, some of which caught the bear's robe in the torso and flashed it opened. Doing her best to keep it tightly against her and attempt to tie it down.

"You're adorabe." Kat winked at her. "So, toys were a bust. But that couldn't be all of it."

"N-no... There were several factors that come to mind. Clothing was another."

"Did they actually give you hand-downs and made you wear dresses?"

"What? N-no no, nothing like that. More that... I just wore whatever I was given. Even when going into the teenage years, I never got to pick my clothes while the sisters all got some money for a school's wardrobe. It wasn't much, but compared to my one pair of slacks and a shirt- that I couldn't even choose... I felt like I was getting the short straw in it."

"To be fair, male clothing is pretty basic."

"But I also never got to learn what looked good either. I just knew sweatpants and long sleeved shirts for the longest time. Baggy stuff, because I didn't like my figure." An awwwh from the striped one.

"Girl, nobody likes their figure when they're younger."

"I get that, but..."

"Imaginary Audience, Nukka. It happens to us all." A head shake from the bear in response.

"Nah... People noticed, let's just say that. But I won't get into it." A drink and still a bit of a face from the taste of beer. "Every year, I kept seeing it though. My sisters, specifically my older two, got to get dresses, interesting shirts. Fishnets and accessories- Earrings were a big thing too, as a cub. All the girls got them in my family, the fancy loops, the gemstone ones that all had different meanings. Funky wired ones or things with small chains on them. And I wanted something like it too. There were even some specifically catered towards males, but..."

"Earrings are for girls?"

"That's what my parents said. Another thing I was locked out of. Hair: my sisters got to do all kinds of things with their manes. They got to grow them out, get four sets of brushes, got to dye it, accessories like hairpins, hairbands, clips. Hair straighteners and blowdryers, gels and mousse. What did I get? A pocket comb and a travel brush. Couldn't even grow it out any, because-"

"Long hair is for girls." Kat grumbled, fluffing up her short mane-cut. "See, I had the Complete opposite experience. I was forced to grow my mane out because 'Short manes are for boys'. I hated it, to the point where I would either tie it up or sneak off and cut it myself- poorly mind you."

"I-I can imagine your mother-"

"Was FURIOUS, the first time! I never seen her so mad, to the point where she drove me to a hair stylist that day to ask about extensions to even it out. After seeing the price though... At least the stylist convinced her to keep it short. She really did me a solid." A deep breath and a swig. "I used to have sex dreams about her when I was older." A sharp whine from the bear made her chuckle, and Kat shook her head slightly. "Look at you now though..."

"T-this is all thanks to my wife, I still don't know what I'm doing when it comes to appearance."

"She's making you drop-dead gorgeous, that's for sure." A blush from Nukka. "I imagine when you got this... State? Form?"

"F-figure, it was... Weird at first, of course. Females do nooooot get enough credit for the amount of crap they have to go through. And I'm living it on Easy Mode right now: no pregnancy risks, get to skip out on monthly cycles-"

"Lucky B-!" The tigress cut herself off, forcing a chuckle out of the two.

"But... It wasn't until the shaping was done, and Kindle put me in front of a full body mirror... I'm not going to lie, I freaking cried a little. It was like I was finally allowed to run free after being locked away in a cage. Everything was accessible all at once, to the point of being overwhelming. I had hair I could do something with, I had clothing I actually looked GOOD in. I had... Assets I felt like I could show off-"

"I'll say~" Kat purred.

"Makeup is still something I'm very mixed on, personally. Kindle never needed it so she never really learned how to do it properly."

"Most people really don't need it."

"But it's... Been an experience. A very positive one, and one that's lifted my self esteem a fair amount. I liked the way I looked, and if I didn't... It could be changed." Nukarhu looked over the tigress for a moment. "Shapeshifting... Takes some getting used to."

"It's not something you've always had?"

"Nah, it was a... Gift of sorts. In a round-about way." The feline's head tilted. "I-it's not important, but it is something I'm still getting used to. The first thing I wanted to do was go quadruped, or Feral... Without the 'madness' definition of course."

"Four-legged, yes. Like on your profile."

"Y-yeah. From there, I tried different other shapes and forms, each one taking a fair amount to get used to." Kat took a drink while nodding. "Larger, more muscled-dense bear. Multiple types of dragons: wyrm, wyvern, noodle-" The striped one spit out her drink a little in a chuckle. "E-Eastern, I mean. Bad habit."

"Noodle!? Oh, like the snake ones."

"Y-yeah."

"Good God, I can't unsee it now. That's hilarious." The two chuckled.

"But eventually, Kindle wanted another female to do... Female stuff with. Hence..."

"Nutella."

"N-Nukarhu." The bear whimpered, getting a sinister snicker from the tigress. "Odd name, I know, but I like it."

"And so your wife designed your shape? Must've taken a while."

"Y-yeah. Especially since she did not want to 'mirror' her own shape." Nukka looked over her arm. "Kindle did phenomenal, but it did take a lot of trial and error to get some things right. For example, at one point my hands were backwards: so the palms were where the back of my hands currently are."

"That's just scary."

"But after we worked out the... Kinks..." Nukka just stared at her bottle and just smiled. "It was very emotional. And... Fun to explore. Like, it wasn't specifically me, but it felt like it was at the same time? I love my feral male form, it will always be my default comfort zone. No matter how big, clumsy, and accident prone it is." Another snicker from the striped one. "I love it, and I feel comfortable Being that. I feel like it's who I am. But this...?" The bear gestured to her own body. "This is fun. It's exciting, and it feels so... Different- but in a great way."

"Mhm, mhm." Kat nodded, pausing a moment and just slyly smirk at the blushing furball. "How big did you make them-?"

"Too big." The two laughed for several moments. "I'm still a guy in mind! I was curious, it was bound to happen!"

"Absolutely! But How big?"

"I-I, uh..."

"Absolute size queen, huh?" A shy whimper from Nukka in response. Putting her beer down on the table and placing both her hands on her own chest, Kat slowly moved them forwards. "You tell me when you stopped." From the tiger's own cantaloupe sized ones, she moved her hands out to watermelons... basketballs... beachballs, as her expression morphed into disbelief. Staring straight at those brown eyes as the polar bear blushed, covering herself shyly while nodding for Kat to keep going. Exercise balls... beanbag chairs- to the point where those striped arms were fully extended. "Fucking A, girl, could you even hold them in your arms?"

"N-no." Nukka admitted, shyly chuckling at the snout toss. "S-side note, chest pillows-"

"Tits, Nukka."

"-Get really heavy."

"Yeah." Kat half grumbled. "They really do. I was kinda lucky enough to be low-medium sized. I mean, first I hated it, constantly kept comparing myself to all the other fems. But after talking to them about it and seeing all the shit they had to go with? Back problems, the expense of custom made bras, random lactations. I got off easy."

"Y-yeah, definitely."

"But there's no way you kept them the size of a clothes dryer." The expected shy whine came from the bear. "So once again: how big?"

"W-well... I did try... Let's call it Beach Ball Plus." A snort from the striped one as the Tigress shook her head, unable to stop herself from smirking. "W-which came with... Wardrobe issues... And some malfunctions."

"I imagine it turned some heads."

"And caused a few accidents, yes. More or less, it was difficult to do anything with. They were just big enough to get in the way of doing dishes, cleaning surfaces, reading books, eating. A-and... Driving cars."

"Wait, wha?"

"L-less about the process of operating them, but more that... It came off as I was very impatient or had some road rage." A blank stare from the striped one. "I honked the horn a lot."

"Really? You don't seem like the Road Rage Type-"

"Accidentally." A blank stare that turned into a silent laugh, making Nukka blush again. "Every time I adjusted or even reached forwards for something like changing the temp, Honk-."

"And I imagine it probably wasn't until people saw your... Assets that they put two and two together."

"T-then had one of multiple reactions. Some I swear didn't quite put it together."

"Those people failed math." Kat joked.

"R-regardless, as fun as massive chest pillows are-"

"At least call them boobs."

"They're... Difficult to keep around without disrupting a certain lifestyle. So..."

"You reduced them."

"A-actually, yes and no? I tend to research what other people's preferences are and go with that. Day to day stuff? It's more about how much I want to get noticed. Sometimes I just want to hide away from eyes, and so the big sweaters come out. Other times... It's going to sound like I'm fishing for attention, but I do like the comments and I just need... To feel attractive." Another stare into the reflective brown glass bottle in her hands. "Sometimes it is chest adjustments, yes. Sometimes it's just wearing something different or doing something fun with my hair." A breath. "I never mentioned it earlier, but I always enjoyed... Designing stuff. Picking out clothes and outfits, choosing colors and accessories in things like videogames. Designing cars in things like Need For Speed Underground or the Saint's Row series. I was never any good at it, but I really enjoy doing it. When I'm in my male form, there's not much I can do. But like this...?"

"You're getting the full catalogue."

"Yeah. Maybe playing with those Barbies when I was younger did have some influence in that regard." Nukka chuckled, but looked down at her bottle with a bit of sorrow. "...But with this whole... Experience, came something else of an issue."

"Yeah?"

"Identity." The bear took a drink, making a face at the taste again. "I... What does this make me? I've always struggled with the idea of Identity in itself, as well as a few other questions growing up like 'What Do You Want To Be?' A question that's haunted me for so long, but that's another topic." Those brown eyes looked at Kat's green ones. "What would you call someone like me?"

"Hot?" The quip didn't land, only making Nukka slightly frown at it. "What do you mean?"

"In terms of..." A gesture to the outside, across the street. Where a pride flag was waving in the faint breeze. "Let's go back to something: you said you're, what? Uh... Bi-?"

"Bisexual."

"How do you know that though?" The tigress tilted her head. "Like, actually KNOW that? Have you been with every man or non-binary person in the world to make that conclusion?" An eye roll from the striped one, but a snicker. "I-I'm not asking that to be a jerk, I Genuinely am trying to understand this."

"I get ya, I get ya. Safe space, Nukka, you're fine." Kat smirked. "I feel like it's right for me. That's all I need. Does that mean I've made a vow of commitment to 'Never look at another male nor have feelings for them. And if I do, I must castigate them out of me'? Nah. Some males are my type, but I don't want to spend my Life with them." Another sour look from the bear, this time without drinking. "...You don't feel that?"

"No... I... Okay, I can look at a line-up of food when I'm hungry- even just pictures or just thinking about it, right?"

"I'm following." The tigress tried not to chuckle.

"And I can Feel this attraction in what I want to put into my body. Sometimes it's something more treat-based like pizza pockets or honey garlic chicken wings, other times it's something more healthy like rice tomato soup."

"You really are a guy in mind, huh?"

"I FEEL something inside me saying 'That's what I want' or 'That's what I require'. It's the same thing for sauces: I can look at something and feel what I want or need. Do I want Cherry Sauce, BBQ Sauce, Ketchup, or do I just want it plain? I can feel what I want to experience."

"Nevermind, that's some alien talking shit right there." A quip that actually got a reaction from the bear; covering her brown eyes with a hand but silently chuckling at it. "I see where you're going..." The tigress gestured to the pride flag again. "You don't feel anything."

"At all. Through any of them." A breath from Nukka. "I look at the flags, I look at their meanings as a whole and the ones behind the color pallets chosen, I feel blank. Straight? Gay? Lesbian? Bi? They don't make sense to my SPD brain: I like who I like, male or female. But I don't like everyone? So I can't be Bi or Pan."

"You're thinking about this too hard, Nukka."

"Maybe, but... It feels like I should've figured this out ages ago. Like I'm supposed to be part of some group and I've been stalled out in the hallway. Every time I come across a door with one of these flags on it, it... Doesn't fit. It doesn't make sense to me, and I feel nothing."

"It kinda sounds like Agender to me. Maybe Genderfluid?"

"Agender is the grey and green one, right? I thought about that, but at the same time... I donno." A noise in question from the tigress. "I... Might get crap for this, but Agender half feels like a category to put people who didn't align with any other option they were presented with." A giggle-snort from Kat. "And Genderfluid kiiinda gives me the same vibes?"

"I mean, that's definitely an alien way to put it."

"I've heard Agender being described as 'Those who remain genderless or gender neutral'. And I'm honestly not certain if I am-"

"Okay, when you think about you and hear male pronouns, do they fit?"

"I-it's what I'm used to, yes. But if you call me female pronouns I honestly just don't care. I'm not offended, I'm not uncomfortable with the idea."

"And They/Them?"

"No strong feelings. If I had to go with one, probably male because that's how I was raised. And I'm okay with that." A nod from the striped one. "What else is there... Transgender? Growing up, I wish my body was Better. But I never really felt like I was in the 'Wrong Body'. Now that I got my ideal male body I've wanted, I'm comfortable in that. And I'm comfortable in this" The bear gestured to herself. "Even though sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be."

"What do you mean?"

"I... Because I'm not Trans nor 'Drag', I feel like I shouldn't be in this- I feel like I'm offending people by being in this form. Some of that may be the fear of being the target of envy, but I'm also... This is like being on training wheels compared to what it's actually like growing up as a female. I feel like I got an express pass to skip the waiting line on a ride with this."

"What?"

"Like... I never had to deal with the hardships of going through homotherapy or taking prescriptions. The struggles and stresses of being trapped in a body that doesn't feel like Yours. Or even growing up as a female, right? I never experienced the misogyny, I never had to deal with the monthly cramps and feeling like garbage for 3 to 5 weeks so I can have one week of feeling normal. Never had to deal with years of back pains due to these," A juggle of her chest pillows within the robe. "I never had to feel afraid of being in a room alone with another male-"

"Jaysus, Nukka-"

"These things happen, Kat. Maybe not always in this world, but I'm VERY aware of it." A deep sigh as the bear brushed her hair back. "And I wonder if that Envy- imaginary or not, is justified? I wonder just how many people who know my male form and have recognized this one; or just people browsing the website have looked at the Nukarhu option and became disgusted by it. Not by the look or idea of the option, but the fact that I feel like I didn't earn it, that I should just stay the hell out of their Gender."

"Nukka..." Kat started, taking a breath and a swig, looking out into the distance. "Were you ever one of those misogynistic assholes?" A head shake. "Then Fuck Those People." A look from those brown discs. "There are going to be people out there, there are going to be people who feel turned off by looking at you. But it's a small percentage, whereas the rest would either welcome the option- like I did, or just don't give a shit. At all. Their intolerance is THEIR problem, not yours. It's something I've had to learn too growing up, and I've knocked out my fair share of those simple minded bastards who thought choices I made- For Myself, somehow involved them." The bear remained silent, lowering her head a little and keeping her eyes on the bottle within her own hands. "You are accepting of people's sexuality and preference, you're fine."

"But I..." Nukka trailed off, and the tigress took a breath.

"Okay. Alien brain. Pride month is..." A moment to collect her words. "The celebration of it is about those struggles, the ones you talked about, but more the awareness of it. These things... Do happen, and it's not cool. People who look at these flags and feel like they mean something Deserve to be respected, they deserve to be part of society. For too long in modern societies they've been rejected or suppressed. Some even killed, because they liked something over something else: men opposed to women, for example. Pride Month is an event where we can shed light onto these horrible things that happened in the past and hopefully see a future where that isn't allowed. It's about us wanting to be safe in a room with another person, without feeling like we need to hide ourselves for Their comfort. Does that make sense?"

"In some ways, yes." Nukarhu looked over the streets again. "It's a valuable cause, don't get me wrong, but I don't..."

"You don't, what?"

"I was going to say that I don't see where the joy is in it, because from my understanding: celebrations are often supposed to be joyful or fun in some way. 'Remembering struggles & terrible times' are not my ideal thoughts of that. So where's...?"

"I suppose it's less about fun and more about relief?" Those four ears perked up as the bear tilted her head. "Remember, we weren't allowed to 'Come Out' as anything other than straight. We were often- At Best- told to just keep it to ourselves. Behind closed doors. During June? Fuck those Boomer feelings. We're going to be loud, we're going to celebrate who we are, what we feel and what we love."

"And if we don't fit in...?" Nukka asked a bit sadly, making the Tigress double take for a moment and breathe. Leaning forwards and placing a stripped hand onto one of the bear's.

"Then you are still welcomed, so long as you respect us and everyone there. That's all this is, that's all we want: to be treated as something better than a sin or some fantasy in the eyes of old forgotten males. This isn't a club: you don't have to BE one of us or under one of these banners. You can even be straight but also support those are not, you're still welcomed to stand with us." That made Nukarhu smile sadly.

"Though I'm still not certain what "to support" means. Am I supposed to... Donate something? Spend time at these rallies? Make or buy shirts?" A light chuckle from Kat as she shook her head.

"Sometimes I don't even know. But in my opinion? Just respecting people is enough. If I'm walking down the street holding hands with another fem, and some guy sees us, then gives me a nod of approval? That's honestly enough for me. We're not asking you to sign up for war here, I can protect myself, but..."

"There are a lot of people out there too afraid to show their feelings."

"Or even try it to see if this is what they are. It's a welcoming and safe space to see what makes them feel good- and if nothing does, like for you, then that's okay. They're just labels, Nukka. There's no wrong answer, like saying 'Who's your favorite Ninja Turtle'-"

"Splinter." A blank stare from the striped one as the bear's ears slowly fell.

"I can't tell if you're joking or not." Kat chuckled.

"I-I'm not."

"Then it's a little weird, but that's okay. No wrong answer." A drink from her bottle as the tigress took a breath. "Without considering other people's feelings, are you comfortable with how you are? Both like this and your male form?"

"...Yes. But I-"

"Then you have every right to be part of that celebration. Acceptance and Respect, it's all we really ask." Another drink as Nukarhu just stared at her own bottle, then her ears flicked towards the doorway. Getting the striped one to make a noise in question before starting to hear the power return. "Oh, they're not just for show."

"Hmm?"

"Your ears, honey."

"O-oh, yeah. They work just fine. Though, almost a detriment when it comes to loud places."

"Like parades, concerts, clubs, and the like?"

"A-and house parties with bad music." That made the larger one chuckle. "But thank you, Kat."

"You're welcome, Nutella." A wink just to tease the blushing bear. "Okay, let's get something to eat, I'm starving. My treat." Kat got up, heading inside with Nukka behind her.

"N-no no, I can pay for myself."

"Don't care, pick a place." The tigress insisted, finding her scattered clothes and getting dressed. Nukka taking off the robe and doing the same. "Anywhere but Hooters."

"Hooters? Why that exactly-?" The bear stopped in place, looking over the larger tigress for a few moments while Kat didn't notice until double taking at the silence. "Did... You date a hyena recently-?"

"Fuck." Kat cursed, half under her breath. "Did she make a scheme with you-?"

"No-no, but I was... Hired by her a few nights ago. Talking about someone who broke up because of a dinner at Hooters?" The tigress rolled her eyes.

"...Alright, fine. If Ray talked I will." A breath. "We made plans for a date via text, she wanted to go to a Hooters nearby and I told her I had a friend who worked there." A pair of Nukka's ears perked up but she didn't interrupt. "We're old friends and we got her as a waitress, so I playfully started hitting on her. It was a joke, but Ray took it too personally. That led to a fight when we got back and..." The striped one shook her head and shrugged. "That's it in a nutshell."

"I see."

"Did she say something different?" There was a bit of a grumble in the tigress' voice.

"Ray never mentioned the waitress was a friend."

"Leaving that part out to make me look like the asshole, sounds about right." While Kat was looking for a proper shirt, Nukka found the tiger's phone and handed it to her. Causing those green eyes to double take at it.

"Look at the texts." That spaded the striped ears, but Kat rolled her eyes and started going through the conversation... Which morphed her expression into puzzlement. A hard flick of her digit to restart the search came up negative, then trying something else. Only to facepalm hard and growl. "You sent that text to someone else-"

"I sent the 'friend' text to someone else who didn't respond. Fuuuuuuuck." A heated breath as the bear patted her shoulder. "Never juggle multiple texts when planning something, love. Bad Juju."

"I hear you. Let's get something to eat. Send her an apology text when you can think more clearly." A grumble from the striped one, but Kat didn't decline the idea. "...You two seemed really happy together, from what I've heard."

"We were." A sour look from the striped one, then felt another touch on her other shoulder, one that was lightly rubbing her back. Getting the attention of those green eyes as they stared at Nukka, and more importantly, the bear's soft smile. Taking a breath and nodding. "You're right. It's not too late. But let's get out of here and down to ground level before the power goes out again."

"Alright."

"Did you find everything?" A nod from Nukarhu as the two left the room. Closing the door and taking two steps down the hall before the lights flickered and went out. Causing the two to sigh. "Welp..."

_"Looks like we're taking the stairs?"

"-Looks like we're taking the stairs, yes."_