FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Loud music is pretty good at killing anxiety, Lars was discovering. He was nervous about meeting Riley; after all, what kind of interest could the elusive fox have in him? He didn't know why, but every time he pictured that black furry smile, or imagined the two catching up, his stomach felt weird and his face was brutally forced into a smile. He couldn't help it. Last night he'd even been subject to an incredibly...interesting dream about the young male. Lars had never really experienced sex dreams before; he had just never felt like a particularly sexual being. Sure, in high school he'd had a shallow relationship with some wolf female, and he'd had crushes_on female's before...but he couldn't remember the last time he actually hoped one would pull of their shirt, or appeared in his dreams for that matter. Riley made him have all kinds of strange thoughts. The brief thought had crossed his mind the previous night, lying in bed..._What if I'm gay? He'd been raised in a pretty open-minded family, and had absolutely no negative agenda against homosexuals. Yet he couldn't imagine himself being like that, that was for other furs right?

If I was gay, I would definitely know by now. He clung to that thought, ignoring the fact that all those thoughts of Riley had made his pyjamas a little tight in the front, and most definitely ignoring that insane dream he'd experienced last night. So walking out to Rafi's café, it was safe to say that Lars was a little anxious. Acknowledging that fact, but not the reasons behind the anxiety, the tiger opted to destroy his brain with music. He played his songs as loud as he could, so loud he got a couple of strange stares from furs with particularly sensitive hearing. Despite the judgement however, Slipknot's The Negative One had just managed to do the trick. Losing himself in the drums and screaming lyrics, the amateur drummer floated over to the small coffee shop, where he spotted his cute new fox friend. Riley gave him a nod, and Lars removed his earphones, feeling a minor shock as the stress he attempted to push away came flooding back. He realised with a start that he actually barely knew this fur, they'd only briefly spoken one night...and Riley had been kind of drunk too. With that in mind, he began.

"How've you been Riley?" The black fox gave him a sceptical look from underneath his dark hood, and then smiled quickly as the tiger sat down

"I'm good. Got some new gear, all set up and running okay."

"That's good to hear." Replied Lars awkwardly. This was so uncomfortable. The tiger could have cried 'hallelujah' when a waitress came over. She was a perky rabbit with a small notepad and pen.

"How you boys doing?" She asked cheerily.

"We're good, I think." Replied Lars, realising he accidentally answered for his entrancing quiet companion.

"That's wonderful, can I get you anything?" They both just nodded. "Well...uh, what would you like?"

"Hot chocolate. No marshmallows." Was all the fox gave, opening his laptop on the table.

"Uh-huh, and you?" She looked at Lars, who for a second was unnaturally indecisive. Should he order the same thing as Riley? Or would that look like he was trying to copy him? So he should probably order something different but similar, he wanted the fox to think he wanted...Lars caught himself. What the hell was he thinking about? He didn't care what Riley ordered, and with that he requested a latte. After the bunny disappeared, Riley stared him down with a slightly mischievous look.

"Uh...what?" He asked, slightly confused.

"Latte? I'm regretting this meeting already." Lars laughed, instantly put at ease by the casual sarcasm. Riley smiled too, which was helpful, confirming it was indeed a joke. Then he did some quick typing on his computer, and without looking up began talking.

"Okay so this lion motherfucker, Jason Marks. He's a little bit ahead of you in terms of intakes, but he's studying the same thing you are."

"Yeah...Right so far, although he's a guitarist." The fox just glared back, obviously not interested in the instruments.

"Anyway, his marks are a little less than average, but nothing horrible. He isn't going to fail, but academics clearly are not his first priority. I uh...well keep it to yourself, but I had a tiny look through his computer yesterday." The drummer just stared at the fur across from the table.

"What do you mean? How did you get to his computer?" Riley laughed at that, amused by the technological inexperience of the tiger. He tapped the top of his screen.

"I did it through this, you dork. I'm studying cyber-security." He said it like it was the most normal thing in the world to hack into other students' private computers.

"Oh, right...okay then."

"Don't worry." He started. "I'm not some idiotic teen hacker, who likes spreading nonsensical chaos and wrecking shit. I just like exploring, and sometimes I can use those skills to hurt someone who deserves it. Though on a certain lion's machine all I found were bad essays and boring-ass straight porn." Lars blushed a little at the mention of porn, especially at Riley's extremely casual use of the word 'straight'.

"Um...ok. Right then...ah, what does that mean?" The fox gave him a quizzical look.

"Well nothing really, but anyway there aren't any emails or anything that are too incriminating, y'know? So...what do you have for me?" He closed the front of the machine, leaning forward. After a brief pause while the drinks were set down, Lars explained.

"One of the bands I'm in, his younger brother Isaac plays in it."

"Yes, you mentioned that yesterday."

"Uh...yeah. But Isaac's a nice guy, and apparently Jason is a complete lunatic. And really, really hates gays." The fox sat back at that, sighing.

"I could've guessed that, last thing I heard before he punched me in the fucking face was 'faggot'." The tiger had to look away, the feelings that sentence had stirred in his stomach almost hurt. It was so weird, just looking at the fox made it flip upside down. Especially when he heard a sentence that was so close to being an admission of homosexuality.

"I guess it runs in the family." Lars said, trying to change the subject before he got all...weird. What the fuck is wrong with me? He thought to himself.

"What do you mean by that?" The fox asked, slightly intrigued. He leaned forward and took a sip of his hot chocolate.

"Well, his dad is that reverend...the one from TV? Reverend Thompson G. Marks?" Riley gave him nothing, so Lars continued. "I used to see his ads late at night, they were full of lame lion jokes, saying the family was part of the 'anti-pride pride'." He rolled his eyes.

"You're joking. How did I not know this?" Riley asked, almost to himself.

"I dunno, but most people treat the Reverend like a maniac, he's always spouting on about the blasphemy of gays, and how trans furs should be put to death...shit like that. Luckily, only one of his two kits thinks the same. Isaac just wants to finish Uni and move, apparently." Lars noticed the black fox's paws clench into fists.

"That pisses me off so much, what a fucking idiot. What, I should be killed just because of who I fuck? Fuck that lion bastard and his fucking family." Despite the anger and hurt behind those words, Lars' could not keep his heart from almost leaping out of his chest when he heard for a fact that Riley liked other males. Suddenly his only thought was of what the fox might look like in his underwear normal, everyday clothes.

"The fur is a total fascist, and pretty much everyone outside of his church hates him, but he's rich and has a pretty big following so...someone is listening."

"Explains why his elder kit is such a moron." Was all Riley said, standing up. He collected his bag, sliding the laptop into it and storming out, leaving the hot chocolate half-finished. Lars stared after him in shock. After quickly paying for both the drinks, he headed swiftly outside to see if the fox had hung around. Luckily he had, Lars found him simply standing in the cool air, smoking.

"So, that was pretty weird." Was all he said, trying to ease the tension that was hanging in the air.

"Sorry about that. Just, I dunno, I needed to get out." Replied Riley.

"Yeah, I get it." He did, Lars imagined the need was not unlike his own need to lie on the floor constantly. He watched as the young male dropped his cigarette on the ground, stomping it out. Riley then span around to face Lars, who found himself wishing the fox would kiss him say something to break the silence. After a moment, he did.

"I actually believe you. I dunno why, but I like you tiger. In punishment for not only committing a hate crime, but buying into all that anti-pride bullshit I'm gonna really fuck with Jason Marks and his father." The tiger opposite felt his eyes widen.

"Oh, okay."

"Wanna help?" Lars felt really strange standing this close to the fox. His stomach was turning in knots, and the front of his jeans suddenly became very restrictive. His paws were sweaty and his mouth dry, it was all he could manage to nod.

"Uh...y-yeah. Ok." Although he hadn't the slightest idea _how_he could help.

"Can't believe I was so dumb to forget about checking his background. I must've gotten caught up in it all...I won't make that mistake again though." Riley then laughed, turning away from Lars, who let go of the deep breath he'd been holding in. He watched as the fox quickly scribbled out something on a small piece of paper, and then handed it to the tiger.

"What..." Before he can even think of finishing his question Riley interrupted him.

"It's my address..." He shuffled his feet, almost nervously. "Y'know, if you're gonna help...easier to do it at my place." Lars felt like he had a golden ticket, like he'd won some contest. He felt himself nodding and smiling. He excitedly imagined going to Riley's home, maybe getting to see his bed, where he kept his clothes too even. Lars had no idea why that idea was so exciting but it didn't change the face that it was.

"Oh...ah, r-right. Cool. Um, thanks. I guess. Well not thanks, but, y'know. Thanks. It's cool. What uh...what time should I...uh...rock up? I mean, yeah. And when? Like what day?...and time?" He laughed awkwardly. The fox gave him a slightly strange look before answering.

"I dunno, you're welcome to come over on Saturday, there won't be any lectures then I guess." He said, shrugging. "Sometime around ten? In the morning?"

"Sounds good." Lars still had absolutely no clue why he was so excited to go to the fox's house, it made him feel like a kit again, having a sleepover. Even though he absolutely, definitely, for sure one hundred percent wanted to did not want to sleep over at Riley's home.

"I'll see you then, then." The fox laughed a little, almost at himself. Walking off, he threw a paw into the air as a wave, like a goodbye. Lars just raised his own paw pathetically, even though the fox couldn't see it.

Lars stood on Riley's doorstep, fidgeting nervously. He was too shy to ring the doorbell just yet. The last few nights had shared the same dream as the one before he met Riley at Rafi's. Lars didn't quite know what to make of them. Surely_he_ couldn't be gay, that was something for other furs right? He had no problem with them...it just wasn't his thing. He liked females. Right?

If I was gay, I would know by now. He repeated his mantra to himself, ignoring memories of those weird dreams, and definitely ignoring the reasons for his recent long showers. No, just hormones, he was only twenty anyway. It was a totally normal phase, to be fixated on some random male fur. Dreams didn't mean anything, who cares about that. With a sigh of anticipation he pushed his hand onto the doorbell. The ringing that Lars could hear from inside the house prompted him to think about the building. Riley wasn't living in a student dorm, in fact he was out in suburbia. It was a typical suburban house, not the kind of place one expects a punk-hacker fox to live.

"You coming in?" With a minor start the tiger realised he got lost in thought, thinking about the house and suburbia. Riley was simply standing there, in tracksuit pants and a loose fitting t-shirt, eating out of a bowl of cereal. Lars couldn't make out exactly what brand of cereal it was, but it looked extremely colourful and probably very sugary.

"Uh, yeah okay." He said, stepping inside. The fox shut the door behind him, and then lead his guest to the kitchen. "So...just you live here or...?"

"What?" Asked Riley, looking back at him. "No, this is my Dad's house. Are you serious?" For some reason it freaked Lars out a little that Riley lived with his dad. He almost couldn't picture a father to the fox. He noticed this was actually the first time he'd seen aforementioned fox without a hoodie on. Lars found himself staring at the black and grey patterns on the young males head, looking at his energetic ears, the right one of which featured two silver rings pierced high up.

"I didn't know you lived with your parents." As soon as he said it the tiger wanted to hit himself, it sounded so judgemental. Riley just shrugged.

"Yeah, well with my dad. Parents are divorced, mum does something in the navy, I dunno exactly what though." Looking around, and ignoring the fact that the thought was stooped in stereotyping and casual sexism, Lars saw the home did indeed look like it homed two males. "I kind of just woke up, sorry."

"Oh, it's okay." Replied the tiger, a little too quickly. "I just realised I'd never seen you without a hood before."

"Right. I usually wear them around Uni, but don't typically bother here, for obvious reasons. Look at you, made it to the inner sanctum." He laughed at his own joke, leaving his mostly empty bowl on the counter top. He waved for Lars to follow, then walked upstairs into what Lars could only imagine was Riley's bedroom. There was a large desk, covered in computer gear, hard drives and cables and monitors. A mattress was lying simplistically on the floor, blankets and pillows piled up on it. Lars felt his breath catch as he saw the shape of the fox was still pressed into the foam. Clothes littered the floor, and empty cans of soft drink and junk food sat in various corners. A pile of DVD's sat just next to the desk, mostly made up of films Lars had never heard of.

"So...uh, I'm happy to help. But what exactly should I do?" He asked tentatively.

"Oh yeah." Said Riley. "I didn't really think about that to be honest, I just wanted you to come over here." Lars felt his face burning, and he could tell that the fox noticed his blushing - despite the tigers fur.

"Um, right...did you decide what to do then?" At that Riley closed his eyes and began massaging his temple.

"Not just yet, I thought about sending a whole bunch of emails out to the Anti-Pride Pride group from the good reverend, saying some kind of profane gay message. That's kind of just script-kiddie level though, y'know?" Lars stared at him blankly.

"Right, no you don't know. It's a little basic is all. I mean, sure it will cause some embarrassment, but it's not going to actually hurt the fucker. He'll just put out a statement saying he was hacked and blah blah blah, two weeks from now it'll be done. So I thought I'd look into his life a little, probe for some weak points."

"And?"

"Should I be telling you this Lars? I mean, can I trust you with this?" Asked Riley, some concern showing in his face. He sat down on the wheeled desk chair, spinning it around. Lars also found himself a seat, and suddenly the whole situation felt a little less intense.

"You can trust me Riley, don't worry. The things this guy says...I dunno, he's a monster." The fox smirked at that.

"Yeah, and I enjoy killing monsters. My point though, is that this is not exactly legal, so if your conscience needs you to leave, feel free to go."

"I'm good right here." Truth be told, he just wanted to stay near Riley. But he was actually okay with this, fight the power and all that jazz.

"Awesome. So...I'm seeing some uh, if you excuse the pun, some pride here. In his eldest kit specifically I mean. Jason has even been on the show a few times, he shares his dad's hate messages on Facebook and everything." Lars nodded in response.

"Yeah, that does make sense. It also totally lines up with what Isaac has said, he's constantly overlooked and Jason is the favourite, because he buys totally in to the whole anti-pride bit." He said.

"Radical. So I'm thinking of splitting those two up." Said Riley cheekily.

"What?"

"Well, how do you think the dad may react if a member of our esteemed faculty sent him an email...saying that his favourite son had been caught during an indecent act with another male?"

"Are you serious? Can you actually do that?" Lars asked, astonished.

"Yeah. Maybe add in something about how he'd been soliciting sex from other males, and it was becoming a problem or something. Make it seem very legit. I could reroute his email accounts too, so that anything he sent to that particular faculty member would be routed to my fake address."

"Wow, that is...evil, but great."

"I try." The fox held a hand to his chest in mock humility.

"You should add something about wanting to keep it quiet, so that it doesn't hurt his reputation. That way it'll cause a rift between the two, but he won't go talking to other staff at the Uni about it."

"That's actually a good idea, anything to give it legitimacy." The fox smiled, clearly enjoying Lars' company. The tiger had only just seen that the two had slowly moved very close to each other, and were now in reaching distance.

"Wait...could you get in trouble for this?" Asked Lars, suddenly concerned for his crush's friend's wellbeing.

"Well..." Replied Riley, shrugging again. "If I get caught, yeah." His breathing increasing, Lars noticed the fox had put both his black paws on the tiger's thighs. He didn't care really, his heart was beating so fast, and he was sweating like crazy.

"Uh...d-don't get caught then." He felt ridiculous, he was barely able to say anything his mouth was so dry. The two stared for a moment in silence into each other's eyes.

And then Riley kissed him.

On the mouth.

And Lars...

Lars the tiger found himself kissing back. Riley moved himself forward, and now he was actually sitting in Lars' lap, kissing him hard, with his paws glued to the back of his head. Lars was so totally intoxicated by the fox he was practically inhaling him.

His own paws were on the sides of Riley's stomach, holding him in place as the two made out.

It was amazing.

It was incredible, the best feeling he'd ever had.

Except he wasn't gay, right? Straight males did not make out with their male friends. He quickly broke away from the fox, panting.

"I really like you Lars." Said Riley.

"I'm not gay Riley." He saw as the fox's face fell completely. He had crushed him instantly. "I mean...I uh..."

"So why did you kiss me back?"

"Caught up in the moment?" Lars realised how insincere he sounded. But he just couldn't admit he was gay. Riley miserably slid back to his own chair, wheeling away just a little. The two furs sat in silence for a minute, before Lars stood up. Riley didn't say anything, just stared at his feet.

And so Lars left.