FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The other night I dreamt of knives, continental drift divide

Mountains sit in a line

LEONARD BERNSTEIN!

(R.E.M.)

---

I found Roger, as was customary these days, sprawled on his stomach across the futon in the center of the living room. If you could even call it a 'living' room. Or a room, for that matter: it no longer had all four walls, as a good chunk of one had been torn away, exposing us to the elements. I really needed to find a better tarp to take care of that. Any floor space that wasn't occupied by dirty dishes or rumpled clothes was covered with a second carpet of papers and files, all courtesy of the fox who was currently studying one sheaf in particular. Maybe 'staring in the general direction of the papers' was a better descriptor. Roger's eyes were glazed over and he didn't appear to making much progress at all.

Crossing over to the futon, I gave it a little kick to announce my presence. Roger jerked in surprise, looking over his shoulder at me. He smiled thinly, but his eyes remained vacant and glassy.

"I brought you something from the commissary. Afternoon's rations," I said, setting down the tin bowl in offering. "And I'm sitting here until you've finished it. So scoot,"

The red fox stretched and grumbled to himself, but complied, shifting so that he was sitting crouched on the side of the futon. I plopped down next to him, leaning up against his side.

Roger poked the steaming contents of the bowl with his spoon, studying the stew dejectedly.

"Come on. Eat up," I urged, nudging him. "It's actually good. Well, decent. Acceptable. Technically edible,"

Roger stirred the contents once or twice more before placing the bowl back onto the floor, setting the spoon next to it.

"I'm not hungry," Roger mumbled.

"You haven't eaten anything in days," I sighed.

"Yesterday," Roger corrected me.

"That was a sleeve of crackers. Doesn't count,"

Roger got to his feet, brushing nonexistent crumbs off his knees. I made a gentle grab for his hand, but he brushed me away.

"I can't. I'm just not hungry," he insisted.

"Please..."

"I have more important things to do than eat right now,"

I followed Roger across the room, where he was presently surveying the view through our new floor-to-ceiling window.

The rest of Saaduuts didn't appear to be in much better shape than our apartment. Most buildings had sustained at least a degree of damage--windows smashed, superstructures folded like origami, some torn completely off their foundations. A thin curl of smoke drifted upwards from the mangled remains of the Harbor Narrows Bridge. Desolation.

"Rodge..." I placed a hand on Roger's shoulder, trying to pull him back from the window. "Come away from there,"

I wrapped my arms around Roger's waist, resting my chin on his shoulder. Roger remained rigid.

"I can't believe this," he finally said. "I fucked up so badly. All of this is my fault,"

A big sob welled up involuntarily in my chest. I spun Roger around on his heels so that he was facing me, gripping him by the shoulders. His arms were raised, trying to brush me away again, but I held tight. Our noses were almost touching.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself," I breathed. "Eat. Or sleep. Both. Please. I need to take care of you. You need to let me do that for you. It makes me feel like I have at least a little control over all this,"

Roger succeeded in pushing me away, striding unsteadily if purposefully across the room, making for the door. Oh, not again.

"I'm not tired," Roger lied again. "I have to go out,"

"You aren't going to see him again, are you?" I asked, aghast.

Standing in the front doorway, Roger glanced halfway over his slumped shoulder, tail limp.

"I have to. It's my job," he said softly.

I flew across the room, grabbing him by the wrist as he made to leave.

"No! Absolutely not. No fucking way. You can't just go running out on me like that again,"

This must have struck a nerve with the red fox. Springing to sudden life, he spun around again, jabbing a finger into my chest, his eyes wild with emerald fire.

"Do you not think I hate this?" he was practically hysterical. "Do you not think these have been the worst days in my life? Do you--"

I kissed Roger passionately, bringing him close and holding him tight. I cupped the back of his head in my hand, closing my eyes. Roger hesitated a moment, then kissed me back. It had been so long since we'd embraced like that.

I felt Roger's knees buckling and he slid slowly to the ground, burying his face in my sweater, sobbing uncontrollably. I touched his hair with my fingers.

"I'm so scared. I'm so scared," Roger's voice wavered.

"Rodge..."

Roger wiped his eyes with the hem of my sweater, looking up at me.

"I love you. I'm so sorry," he murmured as he got to his feet.

I stood there numbly as my boyfriend turned and left down the hallway, glancing over his shoulder as he turned the corner. All the way, he muttered how sorry he was. So sorry. So sorry. So very sorry...

I punched the wall, grunting in pain and rage as I felt the sensation shoot up my arm. Wandering aimlessly into the kitchen (stunningly still more or less intact), I sat stewing in silence. Did Roger really think yet another stupid little chat would accomplish anything? Was he really that idiotic? Nothing would ever change. Not since _he_had appeared in Saaduuts.

After Roger's disappearance some time ago, I'd been scared out of my mind. What if he never returned? What if he'd died? That godsdamned fox had been an institution in my life for the past couple of years and the prospect of him no longer being a part of it terrified me.

But then he'd turned up at the door of our apartment several days later, wrapped in a tattered blanket and shaking. I don't think I'd ever hugged him more tightly before. I needed to touch him, to smell his fur again. I was overwhelmed with joy.

But the story he told me filled me with terror and disgust. Roger had been shrunk and then tortured for hours by an evil, horrible bastard. Even after I'd clothed and fed him, he seemed vacant. Distant.

But then there was an attack. A red fox. Twelve stories tall.

He'd appeared in the Hesquiaht District barely hours after Roger's return and had promptly marched over to the packed football stadium. Hundreds were crushed in his onslaught, and just as many were devoured. The chaos only should have lasted the hours until his body returned to its normal size.

But he never shrank. And that's when things got really bad.

This was no mindless rampage. Everything was so calculated. Bridges destroyed. Ferries sunk. Airplanes crushed. There was no way out. No escape.

He called himself Todd. But he wasn't a person. He was a monster, a nightmare we couldn't wake up from. Roger seemed to believe that maybe, just maybe he would be able to reason with Todd. His job compelled him to think that, and for some reason he thought the time he spent as the fox-monster's captive would grant him some kind of advantage.

But we weren't equals in that monster's eyes. No. We were sustenance. Tiny things to terrorize and play with. Sex-toys to appease an insatiable libido. MACRO couldn't do anything about him, much less Roger all by himself.

I just wanted Roger home, out of danger. In my arms. Close to me.

*****

"Rey. Rey! What are you doing?"

I blinked awake. Roger was crouched over me, a frown of concern furrowing his brow.

"I... must have dozed off," I mumbled, wiping a thin line of drool from the corner of my mouth.

"On the kitchen floor,"

I shrugged noncommittally. If Roger had retained one thing, it was that damnable judgmental air. Smug son of a vixen.

"I didn't plan on falling asleep," I grinned slightly, pulling Roger down so he was sitting next to me, leaning against the cabinet. "I want you to eat something. Now,"

"You aren't gonna let that drop, are you?"

"Nope,"

Roger scowled but took the plate I thrust at him. I would have reheated the stew, but the generators had failed again. Sandwiches would have to do; I tried to keep a stash of peanut butter and other fixings ready at a moment's notice.

"Want to talk?" I asked as Roger bit into the sandwich.

"Not really,"

"I think we should. Please,"

No response.

"This has to stop. You need to stop trying to reason with him. For your own sake,"

"It's my job. I_have_ to. We've been over this a million times,"

"Jobs end. You clock out,"

Roger tore off a piece of crust with a vengeance. "I can't just let him walk all over this town. He's done plenty motherfucking enough of that as it is,"

"But you can't do it all,"

"Someone has to. I have to. I have to at least keep trying. I'm the only one who can,"

"No you don't. And no you aren't. Hey. Wait..."

I'd been stroking Roger's chest absentmindedly, but something was off. Unbuttoning his shirt, I gasped in surprise as I noticed a deep gash arcing across my boyfriend's stomach. It had stopped bleeding, but certainly didn't seem to lack in the pain department.

"What did he do to you,"

It wasn't a question at all.

"Don't worry about it," Roger whimpered, swatting away my hand.

"Wait, why isn't your shirt cut too?"

"He--he made me take it off,"

My eyes flashed. What else had that fucker made him do?

"We need to bandage this up. Right now," I breathed, trying to keep my tone even.

I was already across the room, pulling gauze and bandages out of the drawer. Roger complained weakly, but offered no resistance as I patched him up. There was no fight in him anymore. What had Todd done to him over the past weeks? He wouldn't tell me anything. He was broken. I just wanted him to feel better.

Unbuttoning the fox's jeans, I leaned down, coaxing an erection out of his lifeless flesh with my lips, tongue, and fingertips. Roger let out a soft moan, rocking back his head as I got to work.

For all of his prudishness, I'd never had much of a problem showing Roger a good time. It had just been a matter of figuring out which buttons to push, then I had Roger in the palm of my hand any time I wanted him in the sack. Or the kitchen floor, in this instance, I suppose. Though to be entirely honest, I could do without the constant batting Roger seemed to love doing whenever I sucked him off. I don't know if he thought it was affectionate or what, but it would be awfully embarrassing to have to go to the emergency room with a concussion sustained while pleasing my lover.

After Roger reached a bucking, jerking climax, I lay on top of the fox, murmuring in his ear as I reached down to gently massage him.

"Let's not worry about anything tonight. Put everything else aside. We haven't been together in so long,"

Roger tried to get in a response, but I kissed it out of him.

"Let's just get these pesky clothes out of the way and have some fun," I grinned mischievously, leading him over to the futon. It was going to be a long night.

*****

It was going to be a long night. Clearing the rubble free of the stairwell in the back of my makeshift cell had proved fruitless. The stairs were trashed. I needed to find an alternate means of escape. Clambering all the way down the side of the building was absolutely out of the question. Todd had made sure to smash up the façade of the skyscraper that now served as my prison nice and good--not enough to compromise the structural integrity of the building, but quite enough to prevent any sort of escape. But I refused to accept that fact. Nobody could be flawless in their planning, not even Todd.

I'd had the dubious honor of a front-row (or, rather, right-shoulder) seat during Todd's big debut in Saaduuts. After a shock-and-awe display of raw power at a crowded local sporting event, things had become quite boring, if I dared to use the term.

The gigantic vulpine monstrosity had wholly ignored the 'juicier' parts of Saaduuts, focusing on the bridges and general periphery of the city. It was only then that I realized the extent of my captor's dark genius.

Saaduuts was surrounded on virtually all sides by water. A great lake named the Inland Sea stretched along the eastern side of the city, and the vast expanse of the Pacifica Ocean lay to the west. A combination of natural riverways and channels connecting a series of smaller bodies of water bordered Saaduuts to the north and south. The only connections to the rest of land over these waterways were a few bridges and the various ferries of Saaduuts Public Transport's fleet.

The giant made short work of these and used the collective wreckage to construct an impenetrable if not fairly rough barrier spanning the width of Saaduuts' thin, tenuous mainland connection. Todd did a damn good job of ensuring that nobody could get into or out of the city, at least without major difficulty and risk to personal life and limb. And that wasn't even taking the giant fox into consideration.

Before he departed to carry out whatever the second stage in his depraved grand scheme was, Todd carved out a private prison for me in the side of a skyscraper, hurling me gleefully into the barren space.

"Let me make you a promise," he'd hissed to me through the jagged gash in the wall, "After I've seen to everything else, I will eat you. But you're still in charge here. If you're uncooperative in any way, I'll swallow you whole. But if you're obedient, I'll chew a couple times first. With any luck, I'll crush your puny little skull and spare you the doubtlessly unimaginable agony of being slowly dissolved in my stomach acids,"

With a parting smirk, he left. I was alone. Aside from occasional visits from my captor to terrify me and occasionally to give me sustenance, I spent my days in solitude, trying to find an escape route and plotting my revenge on the towering vulpine monstrosity.

In a bizarre way, I almost felt safer than your average Saaduutsite. Most folks probably woke up each morning unsure whether that day would be their last, whether that was the day they would end up devoured, crushed underfoot, or something else even worse. But Todd was saving me for later. I was a special treat. Oh, goodie.

Not that I didn't have my moments of fear. One day in particular, Todd discovered that even with all his power, the one thing his immense stature didn't afford him protection from was the weather. When Saaduuts served him up a wonderful rainstorm, he'd vented his sodden frustration by going on a brief if impactful rampage, reducing a large swath of the Hesquiaht District to rubble. He'd stood panting in front of my prison tower, water streaming down his musculature, just staring at me. For a moment of sheer panic, I thought it was curtains then and there. But the giant managed to get a grip of himself, allowing me to return to my usual cycle of solitary escape attempts for at least a little while longer.

But, some weeks later, it appeared that I was no longer alone.

Todd's rumbling approach startled me to attention, sending me scrambling to conceal the evidence of my latest escape attempt. Sure enough, Todd was there, clutching onto a white van. As he drew near, the giant cracked the vehicle in half like a nut, dumping its single passenger into his palm.

"Delivery," he announced, slinging his new captive into the space.

He stepped closer to our prison, his muzzle practically invading the space. That perpetual smirk was on his lips and he looked damn hungry. Shit. I got to my feet, putting myself between Todd and my new companion.

"Just go away, Todd," I snarled, summing up any courage left in me.

Without warning, the gigantic fox jerked his head to the side, craning his neck to look at something over his shoulder. When he looked back in my direction, his grin even filthier.

"Dinnertime will have to wait," he remarked, winking at me. "I have something else to take care of,"

As Todd strode off, I rushed over to my new cellmate, dropping to my knees beside his limp body. Undoing the cables that bound his wrists, knees, and ankles, I pulled my fellow captive into a reclining position. The air left my lungs as I pulled the burlap sack off his head.

"Ciaran?"

The mink sobbed feebly as I helped him remove his gag. Leaning against a lump of twisted metal, I pulled Ciaran against myself, massaging the blood back into his weary limbs.

"What's going on? What's going to happen to us?" the mink mumbled.

"Shh... shhh... nothing's going to happen. You're going to be all right," I murmured soothingly in his ear.

"Tab and I were on our way to Saaduuts. But then... I don't know. Some people took me. It was... I don't know. I was tied up and scared and... well, I'm here now, wherever that is.

"I guess you still managed to get to Saaduuts," I commented wryly. "What's left of it, at least,"

Ciaran struggled to his feet, suddenly in a panic.

"Tabitha!" he said. "She's out there alone! We've got to do something,"

"She'll be fine, Ciaran. I'm sure of it. Let's worry about getting out of here. You're always so concerned about everyone else. It's time you took some time for yourself. Fuck knows the fact that we're the prisoners of a giant-ass fox would make this an opportune chance for such," I said.

The mink made a noncommittal noise and nodded numbly. As Ciaran hunkered down in the back corner of the space, I stared out across the grey skyline, arms folded across my chest.

*****

Why hadn't I packed my raincoat? Hunkering under my miserable excuse for a blanket, I stared across the green expanse of forest. The rain had been steady for the past few days. I supposed that meant I was on the right side of the mountains, at least.

Fantasizing about dry fur and a warm cup of cocoa, I tried to divert a small rivulet that was dripping steadily off the blanket down my cheek. On the rare occasion that it had showered in the past few weeks, Ciaran had always been able to take refuge in his tent or a cave, should one exist nearby. I had yet to discover a cave that could accommodate a 90-foot ferretess, and today was no exception, unfortunately.

I couldn't even have a fire for warmth--Ciaran had always been the one to do that, and I was pretty sure rubbing a few tree branches together wouldn't accomplish much. Besides, I didn't want to risk starting a forest fire or something with the bonfire it would take to warm me.

I curled up on the rocky ground, resigning myself to the umpteenth straight hour of being completely sodden. If Ciaran had been here, he would have been able to distract me from my misery. But he had been stolen away and I needed to find him. All the same, my journey could wait a few hours. I needed to sleep.

The downpour had relented slightly when I awoke early the following morning. We're talking on an astronomical scale here. I was still soaking wet. But it was something. How could anyone bear to live in western Pacifica with such a drippingly awful climate? The instant I got Ciaran back from wherever he'd been taken, I would make out with him, and then I would take him the fuck back to the sunny, warm east side. I'd take crazy redneck hicks over this liquid sunshine any day.

Picking my way alongside the river I'd been following for the past few days as it wended its way through the alpine landscape, I contemplated what I would do once I got to Saaduuts and, more importantly, what I would do to whoever had stolen away my Ciaran.

As the morning drew on, the trees thinned out, becoming smaller, wimpier (for lack of a better term), and less densely packed. I had to be nearing the edge of the forest. Good thing, too. It had been weeks since I'd entered it and I desperately needed to see some sort of scenery other than woods.

As the trees petered out, mostly young plants that barely reached my calves, a sight that filled me with relief and dread greeted me. The glittering skyline of Saaduuts lay in the distance, maybe a few dozen miles away across gently rolling hills dotted with smaller towns and communities. A highway took off where the river left off, cutting northwards across the landscape towards my destination.

Not even bothering to catch my breath, I hitched my satchel higher on my shoulder and strode towards the city. I paralleled the highway, trudging through what appeared to be farmland. Cars zipped along the highway beside me, the majority of them not seeming to pay me much heed.

I supposed I shouldn't have been too surprised: the only things I knew about Saaduuts were that it rained a lot there, they had really good coffee and seafood, and individuals of enormous stature such as myself were nothing out of the ordinary there. Seeing a gigantic ferretess striding determinedly along beside the road must be just the norm.

I remembered learning about the unusual phenomenon that plagued that city in school when I was little (in every sense of the word). Sitting there at my desk, I'd wondered idly what it would be like if I'd been one have those people, finding themselves suddenly huge for a span of time. Well, I guess I'd learned a thing or two about that since then.

My jaw dropped as I arrived at what must have been the outskirts of Saaduuts. I had arrived at a lakeshore, across which the towering structures of downtown Saaduuts could be seen. A long floating bridge spanned the water. Except it wasn't really a bridge anymore. The span had been... broken. Snapped as if it were nothing more than a mere twig.

A dull fear creeping into my gut, I took a closer look at Saaduuts proper. Squinting, I noticed that the 'towering structures' actually weren't all that towering on a lot of counts. Chunks had been carved out of some, and others were toppled entirely off their foundations. Something was definitely not right. And if Ciaran was caught in the midst of it all...

Pulling off my shoes and cuffing my jeans, I waded hurriedly across the lake, determined to get into Saaduuts. The freezing water crept up to my chest, but I ignored the creeping chill and pressed onward.

Saaduuts looked like a warzone. I picked my way through the desolate streets of the city, trying to find out whoever or whatever had caused such destruction. Cars and other vehicles were parked haphazardly about streets strewn with shattered glass and all manner of refuse. Nobody seemed to be around any longer. Whether that was because they were indoors or dead, I didn't know. It was the first time I'd been around buildings that were taller than I, an effect diminished by the fact that most of those structures had weathered all manner of damage. Where could I find Ciaran?

"Tab! Tabitha!"

Panicked, I whipped around. A pair stood on the roof of one of the few structures that hadn't been damaged to some extent. My jaw dropped and I felt tears springing to my eyes.

"Mom? Dad?"