The Short Attention Span Porn Story Contest Winners
I'm pleased to announced the winners of the Short Attention Span Porn Story Contest. You probably didn't read this either, so let's get on with it.
GENERAL PORN
First Place: "They fucked." Second Place: "They fucked a lot." Third Place: "They fucked a whole bunch of times."
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
First Place: "They had a drink and fucked." Second Place: "They enjoyed martinis and fucked." Third Place: "After meeting at the bar and drinking, they fucked."
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, GAY MALE THEMED
First Place: "Alan fucked Joe." Second Place: "Usually the bottom, Joe fucked Alan." Third Place: "Sad because they broke up, Joe and Alan fucked other people."
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, GAY FEMALE THEMED
First Place: "Alice licked Josephine." Second Place: "Alice licked and pegged Josephine." Third Place: "On their second date, Alice and Josephine moved in together, licked, and pegged."
PLOT DEVELOPMENT
First Place: "Meeting at the baths, they fucked." Second Place: "Too scared to fuck at the baths, they went to a motel and fucked." Third Place: "Arrested for pubic sex at the baths, they shared a jail cell and fucked with the other convicts."
SPECIES SPECIFIC
First Place: "They fucked like bunnies." Second Place: "The bunnies fucked like bunnies." Third Place: "The bunnies fucked several other species like bunnies."
SOFT-CORE
First Place: "They did it." Second Place: "They probably did it." Third Place: "Just imagine that they did something."
MASTER/SLAVE/PET
First Place: "Master fucked slave." Second Place: "Master fucked semi-willing slave." Third Place: "Master humiliated slave, fucked him, gave him doggie treat."
BONDAGE
First Place: "He was tied-up and fucked." Second Place: "He was handcuffed to the bed and fucked." Third Place: "He was fucked, then tied, but that's canines for you."
TRANSFORMATION
First Place: "They transformed then fucked." Second Place: "They transformed because they fucked." Third Place: "They fucked, transformed, fucked more, transformed back, liked it better the second time."
HUMAN BESTIALITY
First Place: "He fucked the mare." Second Place: "He tried to fuck the stallion." Third Place: "He got between the mare and the stallion and got fucked." Honorable Mention: "He survived the anal hemorrhagy."
STRAIGHT-TO-GAY
First Place: "Jilted by girl, he fucked guy." Second Place: "Divorced by wife, he fucked guy and liked it." Third Place: "Drunk, he fucked guy and liked it, but their balls didn't touch, so he's still straight."
BERTIE BOTT'S EVERY-FLAVOR PORN
First Place: "They all fucked and did everything else." Second Place: "They all fucked each other, then did everything else." Third Place: "They all fucked, did everything else, did it all again in every combination, until they were bored and actually did something interesting."
HONORABLE MENTION FOR VORE PORN
"He sucked and swallowed, which took on a whole new meaning."
GRAND PRIZE WINNER
"This is the future of porn. You're fucked."