FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

I latched the large brass clips on my trunk and patted it once on the top. I looked around at what was once my home, now just an empty barren room. Small hooks and wire hung from the walls with various bumps, scrapes and holes in the old walls. It was a home for quite some time, as well as a place of business.

Luckily today was the day it would all change.I brushed back my hair, always a nice silky black behind my ears. I pressed my hands against my elegant pink dress that I had decided to wear today. It seemed fitting for a girl like me who would be upgrading herself from a simple street walker to a respectable courtesan.

I took a deep breath as all the memories came back to me. Some good, most were bad but what do you expect when you are in the sex business.I gave a good heave and yanked the large trunk off the bed, holding with two hands. Then began to maneuver the large box down the hallway to the carriage that was waiting for me. The driver saw me coming and met me at the door. He quickly grabbed my bags, getting a good step up on the side and hoisted it on top of the buggy like it was nothing. I would be lying if I wasn't a little impressed, then again I was never all that strong, at least in a physical way.

I did keep in shape though, well I had to really. I was slim, almost frail looking. I have very pale skin. Spending most of my time inside. Or when I did venture out it was normally at night when the bars were letting out. Should be no surprise picking up drunk men to have sex with you for money is really easy when they are blackout drunk and would literally do anything just for a bed. Though they never had enough on them to pay their dues with me. They all generally spent their money on booze and never had enough to give to me. I took what I could get though.

The driver looked me over real quick. He had a fake smile on his face, I could tell he wasn't happy running errands like this. He was the madam's personal driver, he could be at home doing nothing instead of picking up the new girl from her hole of a home. I took the hint, not saying a word, and hopped up into the carriage and shut the door.

The inside was rather lovely. The seats were beyond soft, feeling like a bushel of bunnies try to nuzzle their ways around your rump with very intricate victorian decor. Red curtains with a dark golden trim. The windows were covered in a red silk material, one you could see through if you were close enough but looked solid if you were far away. It felt very cozy inside, even safe. Though I dare not stretch out inside the coach so I did not ruin anything inside. My heels I had decided to were just a little dusty but you never know what someone might be picky about, especially someone like the madam.

The carriage jolted forward and the two white steeds with frilly little decorations on their foreheads. Each matching the decor inside the carriage. I took a deep breath, taking in the last wretched air of the decrepit place I lived. No more would I have to wake up to the smell of burnt breakfast, dirty men lying in their own vomit in the hallways, and the sounds of nagging wives bitching at their husbands for wasting their money on alcohol and girls like me.

The horses hooves clicking against the stone pathway was rather relaxing. Like rain on a window in the middle of a lazy summer's day. A sound that would easily turn the busiest bee into a slumbering bear in minutes. I could not help but yawn, leaning my head against the side. It felt better than any pillow I had ever had the pleasure to lay my head on and this was just the wall of this thing. I could imagine how many guests had been entertained in here. The smooth ride, the soft fabric on bare skin and with the veil of privacy hiding all the dirty deeds that were being done inside.

It was exciting to think about doing things in public. Generally as a prostitute most of your work happened outside, in alleyways or behind bars. Though it was never really all that fun. I mean sex is very fun, if it wasn't I wouldn't be doing this but I don't care how much fun you have having sex, things just get ruined when you have glass cutting your knees apart while you are going down on some drunk who could literally coat your hair in puke, as well as other things, in seconds. Without warning even!

As soon as my eyes were about to shut the carriage stopped. So quickly even I nearly fell off the bench and onto the floor. I groaned as I could here the driver rustling around on top of the carriage, giving a loud heave and pulled my trunk off the top of the coach and began to bring it back down to street level. He set it down on the ground and knocked on the door. I quickly straightened myself out as he opened the door.

“Ma'am" He said plainly, holding out his hand for me to take on my way down. I took it, putting one foot out on the coach step and then the other onto the hard ground.

I looked around the city I called home. The bustling city of Metus. It was split into multiple districts as most cities are. You have your harbor where most of the trading goods came in by boat. Then of course you had the poor district surrounding the banks. Most of the fisherman and crew of the vessels were never paid that well.

Next was the middle class district filled with the business men. Those who owned a stall where they sold the good bought from the fishermen and tradesmen from the other lands. The silks and furs, the gold and other precious metals. These men were more distinguished and were a wonderful target for the likes of me. They were the ones with slightly more disposable income.

Now I was in the place everyone wanted to be was the so called rich district. Filled with those nobility. Those who were either born with their wealth or stole it from another. Very few were made men, most were living off the wealth of their fathers or mothers, if the women were lucky enough getting a job that wasn't being a whore and then doing well at it.

I was obviously hoping to be those lucky ones who made it as said whore in the care of this madam known through the streets as the best. Her girl's were expensive as they should be. It was said every girl went through a rigorous training course to become one of them.

I looked up and saw the massive mansion that laid before me. It seemed out of place when you first see it. A kind of country style house, one with a nice big porch that would wrap around the sides where you could sit and relax. Though instead of a rocking chair you had girl's putting their boobs up on the railing, squishing them together, taunting the men that passed by. It was a good 3 floors tall with it seemed like 20 windows on either side of the front door which was smack dab in the middle of the large building. Each was a special purposed room designed by each one of the girl's there.

After a quick look I walked up behind the driver, up the few short steps to the porch, passed a trio of girls who were taunting a few horny men behind the safety of the railing. Their voices were an odd mixture of sweet and sultry with a great big hint of bile and mockery.

“Keep gawking boys, you're not going to be able to afford us!" One of the girl's yelled out to the men. Of course, as all men do when you insult their wallets they get angry. Yelling back “Aye, shut up 'ya cunt. I'll be wait'n ere' with my boys when that mistress kicks yar loose ass out. We will 'ave a nice warm bed for ya' and a nice juicy cock to suck on to make ya' feel right at home." The men laughed and turned away, thinking they had one the little verbal battle as the girls tittered away like children as if they heard a polite dinner table joke.

The carriage driver pushed open the doors and a waft of tainted air assaulted my nose. The scents of perfume, smoke, and sex made my sinuses tingle. I couldn't help but cough as I stepped inside the Devil's Garden Brothel. The madam here had a bit of an obsession with flowers, thus the name. It even went as far as naming here elite girls, the Roses. To become a Rose was not easy and very few ever made it through the training. Rumors even circulated about girl's even dieing in the training, though I doubt any of it was true.

I stepped into the large front room. There was a large staircase before me that split into two paths and curled around coming back towards the front door where it would land you on a balcony on the second floor and then another set of stairs that kept curling that lead to the third floor. To my left was the main greeting area where girls would be sitting, waiting to be called upon either to line up or to have a customer just meander in and take them up to the room. To the right of the main stairs was a bar, where most went to get drunk before crawling to the other side to pick out their girl.

It wasn't long before I saw her, the madam of the place. Her hair was red, almost disturbingly red. Her hair done into soft waves that looked like a river of blood running down her soft white skin. She was busty as well or at least had the illusion of it as her breasts were smooshed together by the red and black corset she wore that laced up in the front. All brought together with a simple black garter belt that hid her black panties and held up her red stockings. With all that she wore a long silk robe, red of course, that drug behind her as she descended the stairs.

“Welcome welcome!" She said, her arms outstretched. I nodded politely, not sure what to say. She looked at me oddly when I didn't say anything. “I am your madam, you will address me as Mad'am Mistress, always. Whenever you end a sentence that you are directing at me you will address me as such?" She said her voice sounding a little less welcoming and much more stern. I quickly nodded and added. “Yes, Mad'am Mistress.' She smiles down at me seeing how she was a bit taller than me, then again most women were taller. Even though she was in a very cute pair of high heels. “Very good. You learn quickly." She snaps her fingers and points to my bag. “Grab her bags Jacob and follow us." She said making her way back up the stairs.

We made our way up to the second floor where we entered what seem to be a maze of hallways and doors. She moved quickly and I tried to keep up in my slightly tired state but I did feel a little bad for the driver now, carrying such a heavy load up all those stairs and now after this speed demon down these hallways. “This is where you will be staying on the second floor." She took a quick turn down the third hallway we passed and kept walking till we reached the dead end where she began to unlock the door. “It is yours to do with as you wish since you are the one going to be spending the most time in it. You will work out of this room, bring all your customers here for servicing." She pushed the door open to a pretty bland white room. An old rickety bed lay pressed up against the wall. The brass bars coiled into a almost boring design for the headboard.

“I will get you a book for you to keep in here. You will need to keep a log of when your customers come in and leave. They pay by the hour and it is for you to keep the log instead of the front desk. If you fail to fill the book out or get a signature, well it's your fault and you just worked for free."

Jacob finally caught up and pushed passed us both and tossed my trunk onto the bed. It let out a long groan as if protesting the weight of my belongings. I just cringed at the sound and made note that the bed was the first thing to be replaced. “Geez.." I said under my breath Mad'am just laughs. “Yeah this is your project. The better you are the more money, the more you can improve here, the more improve here will mean more customers, more customers is more money, makes sense right?" Jacob gave a few puffs, tipped his hat and made his way out of the room leaving me and the Mad'am there.

“You are quiet as Hell, you know that right?" I nodded. “Yes Mad'am Mistress. It's just all knew to me. Oddly enough I can be quite shy when I'm not “working". I do have a question though...When do I start exactly?" The Mad'am smiles again “Oh eager are we?" She shook her head and looked around. “Well I was going to let you rest for the afternoon and start you first thing in the morning with training but if you wanted to get a little head start I have a position you could fill. it would be nothing expensive, just something for quick easy pocket money."

She gave me a rather hard pat on the back. “I suggest you rest though. My training is very rigorous and you will need a good amount of rest. If you need anything else Lilith, just ask the other girls or if it is of utter importance tell me directly, understand?" I nodded again “Yes Mad'am Mistress"

“Good girl. I will be back with your book in a few minutes."

With that she was gone out the door and I could now feel the presence of another. I peered down the hallway and saw a pair of eyes staring me down from around the corner. It was horrifying, like a little troll glaring at you from under a bridge. I stepped closer and called out “Who is that?' The eyes closed and I heard a faint giggle as a human figure skipped around the corner. She was wearing a frilly and intricate light blue dress with white lace trim and knee high white stockings. She stopped at my doorway and waved enthusiastically. “Hi!" Her high pitched tone pierced my ears drums but I gave a nervous smile and said hello back. “Who are you?" I asked rather plainly as my shyness was showing through again. The girl giggles to herself before answering. “My names Katie, I am one of the second floories. I just thought I would come over and welcome the new girl." The girl then went stiff, her hands at her sides before bringing one up violently in a salute. “Permission to come aboard el' captain."

“I uh.. Sure come in." The odd gesture through me off for sure. Then Katie stepped inside and hugged me, squeezing me tight. “Loosen up!" She said before letting me go. “You can't be all rigid and boring here, well at least not down stairs." I agree with a simple nod “Yeah I understand. It just takes a me a minute to get used to a new scene but once I'm settled in there look out!" I tried to act excited, trying to match what the rambunctious blonde was dealing out in her own actions.

Katie went over to the bed and flopped down on her back with a rather loud thud. The bed made another protesting groan and creak making Katie giggle like a giddy schoolgirl. “I kinda forgot how shitty these rooms are when you first move in." She sat up just enough to look over her modest b cup breasts and at me directly. “Do you have any ideas for it yet?" I thought about it for a minute.

“I honestly haven't given it that much thought. I had assumed I was just getting a room and that's it. I never knew I was going to be able to decorate." Katie sat up more on her elbows and kept staring at me. “You better think of something quick because this room wouldn't please a blind person." Then rolling over on her stomach then crawling up my bed like a cat stretching after a nap and stole one of my pillows and hugged it under her head. “Just take your time with it since all of it comes out of your pocket and you don't want to waste money constantly redecorating."

I listened to her closely before asking my questions. “What do you do here?" This got her attention and her eyebrows perked. “I am a roleplayer. Very flamboyant and show offie. I love to perform. Just being on stage, in the lights, the crowd cheering. It's just wonderful. Thus why I much prefer when I get stage duty. I feel more at home with a crowd and dancing and acting something out." She took a deep breath and kept explaining. “The applause of many is a lot better than hearing the sound of one mans hand clapping. Just doesn't have the same effect." She shrugs and kept molesting one of my pillows.

This all still felt rather strange and the odd blonde on my bed wasn't helping anything. “Alright, I need to get out of this dress though, maybe even get washed up before I go down stairs and explore." I said before starting to peel the zipper of my dress down and shimmy my slender body out of it, letting it hit the floor. “You can stay and chat if you want." She quickly replied “uh no, bad idea." Quickly hopping up from the bed and headed out the door. She stopped herself from closing the door right away. “Can't be in here while you are doing all that. Mad'am Mistress' rules. She will think we are doing each other and that's a major no no. SInce if she has two girls tied up with each other then they aren't down stairs making her more money and yeah, she angry pretty quick. Now go get clean!" She ended closing the door behind her. It was all good to know since the Mad'am seemed to of gone a little light on the rules here but I just chalk it up to it being my first night. She didn't even want me working tonight so it made sense.

I stripped completely naked and wrapped a towel around my body before going to the rather large window. The bottom window sill came barely up to my knees while the top was a good foot or two above my head. Small wooden crossbars broke up the window into neat little rectangles. From my new room I had a good view down one of the main streets and out over the harbor. It was interesting to say the least but it would be even nicer in the morning to see the sun come up over the horizon right into my window every morning. It was better to be woken up by a warm sun rather some drunk stumbling down the stairs with a hangover.

I mde my way to the shower, turned on the water and stepped in. I soon realized I would have to by my own soap and things too as I only had a simple yellow bar that would barely last any decent person a few days before it shriveled up. I just made it quick and threw on another more casual black strapless dress that hugs my legs like a pencil skirt.

It was late afternoon when everything was picking up. I could here the girls giggling, the men grunting like animals and of course the music coming from the side room to my now right. I stepped through the large open doorway and saw the typical scene for a brothel. To the very back was a stage where a few girls had formed a line doing the “can-can" dressed in that usual burlesque attire. The lights were bright on the stage, making the rest of the dim room look even darker.

The patrons were all sitting at tables either with a drink in their hand or a girl, no one was left unattended. Even as they kept streaming through the front doors it always seemed like there was an endless supply of girls who would graciously be the man's date for the night. Then even at this hour a few men were even leaving, still trying to buckle their pants back up after having some well paid for fun. It felt like a well oiled machine as customers came in almost as quickly as they went out.

I looked back onto the stage to watch the show, seeing Katie in the middle. She had now changed into a red dress with black lace trim to fit in with the common theme of the rest of the girl's dancing. She looked even happier than before which was a little surprising. I didn't think anyone could physically be that bubbly.

It did make me laugh though with every time they would go for a higher kick in the dance, the front few tables would always bark and holler like horny hounds but it was no secret why. none of the girls were wearing any panties. With each kick came yet another tease, showing off their fancy and cute designs they had cut their pubic hair into or in a few girl's cases, including Katie's,, was the lack of hair. Perfectly shaven to look as smooth as her legs. I was pretty positive she was oiled up to with the way the light hit her thighs.

If it wasn't for the fact that I would probably be breaking a rule I would have asked her to come back to my room to keep me company tonight.

My outfit was plain enough but sexy enough to get looks but no offers from the men. Most seemed to think I was one of the rare girls who came into this place for a piece. I was able to find a seat as katie's act filed off stage and a few of the men went to chase them down for some fun. I relaxed in the chair and people watched. Seeing the bustling chaos that was the world of sex. A few toplles girl's getting willingly molested under the tables while a few were guiding their customers up to their second floor rooms.

Then startling sound rang through my ears, someone had put something on my table down, hard. I looked over the candle light centerpiece to find yet another girl. She had black her, like mine but a lot darker. It was longer than mine to but it was pulled back into a fun bun/ponytail like design. The small strands stuck out like a puffy flower with her ponytail acting like a flimsy stem. It was clever for sure being that this was called “The Garden".

I saw what made the noise, it was a plate full of freshly made food. Bits of turkey meat with peas on the side with a mountain of mashed potatoes and way too much gravy that spilled over everything else.

“New girl?" She asked bluntly.

I nodded quickly “Yes, my name is Lilith and you are?"

She took another mouthful before answering. “Ah nice. I'm Jessica, I run the front counter. SO all transactions go through me. I pass out the room keys for when customers have special appointments and of course condoms." Her voice was muffled by the amount of food in her mouth.

“I see.." I added, a little disgust by the act.

“So do you.." I tried to continue but she soon interrupted.

“Fuck? Yes. But I am considered one of the quickie girls. Usually work during the day, giving blowjobs to those who wander in and need some relief, sometimes right here in the dining hall." She pointed with her fork. “Gave a few with guys sitting in that very chair of yours."

I knew she was trying to freak me out or get a reaction out of me but I just smiled. “Then you must be quite good then?" I asked a bit sarcastically.

She put the fork in her mouth, locking her lips around the metal and pulled back slowly as if to show me some of her skills. “The best on the first floor. Plus the best part is I always get my room to myself. Hell it's practically kept secret from everyone who comes in here." She gestures more with her fork as she talks. “How easy it would be to rip this place off if you held me hostage after I invited you up to bed for the night. You have a knife to my throat, lead me down here to the secondary safe...The primary one is in Mad'am Mistress' room, I don't mind telling you that since if you even look at that door without permission you get offed."

“Noted." I said, getting a little jealous of her. Mostly of the dinner she had and of course the rather leisurely job she had here. I'm sure it was a lot more responsibility than most of the second floor girl's had.

I opened my mouth again to try and ask another question but she interrupted me again. “As for where to get some food just go see the chef, tell him that you are new and he will get you a plate. If he doesn't believe you just say “Jessica Loves You"." She giggles to herself

“That's an odd password. Is that the same for everyone?" I asked

“Nope it's a little thing between me and him. He will know that I at least sent you and will make sure you are well fed." She stretched putting the fork down on her now empty plate. “Expect lots of fatty foods. Good for energy for those long nights with that rare stud who can literally go all night while being able to knock out the weaker ones without you having to do as much as getting the tip wet."

She would stretch once more before getting up. “Glad to meet you Lilith. I am sure I will being seeing a lot more of you in the future." She then left with her plate back behind the main counter through some swinging doors.

I sat there for a moment as the music started a new song. No performer to accompany the music. I couldn't help but find it odd that one could take sex so casually. Even I do it since it has been so long it became as easy as everyday chores. One would always worry about something like that for a little while. Take a coming of age young man or woman finally leaving the house and having to do his or her own wash, it would take them a while to figure the ins and outs and before long they became experts and it was just something they had to do. It was the same thing for me now but i got paid to do and of course something I enjoyed.

I sat there for a little while longer till my noisy stomach yelled at my me quite audibly. I got up from the table and followed Jessica's path back around the counter and through the two large swinging doors. Then the smell of sex and,smoke left me while my senses were molested with the aroma of home cooking. The most prominent was that of the gravy that seemed to of been made to feed a factory of workers. A massive pot that could double as a politician's pool was about halfway full of the light brown liquid.

It did take just about every last bit of my maturity to not jump in headfirst and bathe myself in it. After i was able to peel my hungry eyes from the pot I saw the rest of the large kitchen. Girls and guys alike both dressed in white outfits, those you would find in any kitchen. Some of the clothes were more stained than others.

This was the point where i realised that Jessica never told me who the chef was. I only knew the password.

There had to be at least 15 people back here and i didn't want to just assume the head chef was a male. With Madam Mistress' record the head chef might not even be human.

I just shrugged my shoulders internally and began my search. Though it didn't take long. There he was a tall fellow dressed in white with a white cap smashed,down against his head that threatened to fall off with each jerk of his head, which happened quite often with him. He seemed rather fidgety when he worked. He was average height with soft brown hair with matching brown eyes.

It was nerve racking to watch especially when he was using the knife. Cutting and chopping like a surgeon with a twitch yet it seems that he learned his twitching habits and used it to his advantage.

After watching for a short while as well as getting my concentration broken by a waitress bumping my shoulder with a tray, I stepped forward and greeted him.

"Hello" I said plainly.

He looked up at me with a bit of a puzzled face.

"Did you wash your hands before coming in here?"

My eyes widened a bit and he could tell that I didn't. All i could could think of was i have only been here for a few short hours and I am already breaking the rules. I shook my head and cracked a half smile and called out to someone.

"Trisha! Water bowl!"

Then a young tall and very skinny blonde dressed in a yellow dress, which seemed rather odd for someone to be dressed so elegantly but then have on an old dirty apron. Her hair was done up in a modest ponytail. Even when it did look well done, as if it wasn't her first choice on how to wear her hair that night. She looked flustered if not frightened when she stepped in front of me.

I didn't get long to look her over before she was standing there with her arms outstretched, her eyes down and holding the bowl out for me. I felt a little awkward as half the kitchen stopped to watch me, or at least it feels like they were. I dipped my hands into the water, scrubbing some of the dirt from my hands, even though I was sure my shower earlier was plenty but who was I to argue to the head chef?

After a few good moments of washing I pulled my dripping hands from the bowl and turned to the chef. Before I could ask for a towel he barked out another order to the blonde girl. “Good girl Trisha now turn around, the nice girl needs to dry her hands." he said in a mildly dubious tone.Trisha looked down at her feet and did as she was told and turned around and bent over. It didn't take much to figure where I was too dry my hands and of course that Trisha was being punished. For what I may never find out nor did I want to press any issues that didn't concern me all I knew is I would be damn sure not to have my rear become a towel.

I lowered my hands and took the girls rather nice yellow dress in my hands and wiped away the water. Lingering a little while as I took my chance to get a little frisky. Squeezing her tight rear through the dress acting as if I was just scrunching up the material to get between my fingers. Then I pull my hands away and turn back to the chef, holding my hands up to show him that they were clean.

He nodded back to me. He motioned to Trisha for her to leave them. “How can I help you?" He said plainly with a slight forced smile.

“Uh well I am new here and I wasn't really told how I would be getting meals." I paused for a moment “Also I was told a password, Jessica loves you."

The chef didn't even hide his amusement and let out a hearty laugh before motioning me over to him. My shoulders slumped down a bit. I had no clue what was so funny. He regained his composure and told me about Jessica's ways. How she loves to haze the new girls and told me that I should feel lucky that all I had to do was embarrass myself in a room full of people.

My lip began to twitch as he explained. it didn't make much sense to me even when it was being explained.

He only talked for a few minutes, handed me a fresh plate of food the same Jessica was eating, except I was able to finagle a little more gravy to poured over everything. I made my way out the same way I had come in. Through the lobby and up the stairs. A quick left and then the second right, all the way to the end was now my new home. There to meet me on my bed was the book the Madam had promised to get for me. Wrapped in a little red bow and a mechanical quil to fill it out with with a note strapped to the front of it that read

“You're training starts early in the morning. Get a good night sleep, I will send someone to collect you when your training is to start.

~Madam Mistress~"

It did give me chills thinking about it all. Today was long but worth it. Even the few people I did meet. Katie that bubbly showgirl, those long milky legs, and a laugh that would brighten anyones day. Even Jessica was fun, she reminded me so much of myself. This jaded being who has only known sex to where it's no longer a wondrous act between two people or a finely painted scene that was being immortalized by a painter, framed in the lands prestigious museums. Not anymore. It was now a job, maybe even a chore? Or not, I have never heard of anyone having a day of mind blowing orgasms from doing house work.

I finished my meal and sat the dirty plate on the side table beside the bed. I laid back on the bed, my head propped up by one thick pillow. My head sank into it as the air slowly left it. I couldn't help but thinking about one last thing, I was horny. It had been almost 24 hours since my last climax.

I sighed to myself as I got up, walking to the door to close and lock it. It felt like a crime to lock yourself in a room, alone and horny in a brothel, especially this one. Even little fantasies of renting a girl for the night, mostly Katie though. If only I wasn't completely broke and that rule about the in house girls fooling around with each other wasn't there then I could have some real fun.

Making my way back to the bed, disrobing on the way, I laid back on the old bed. The springs creaked and groaned as if they were in agonizing pain. The sheet that covered the mattress was cool on my back as I pulled the other sheet over me and then turned onto my side to tighten the fabric around my body.

With one exaggerated reach I turned the side table lamp off. I lay there in the darkness now, in a safer place than I was. The bad days were behind me and I was in a place where I could truly thrive with the help of the Madam and the other girls.

The sweet sounds of pleasure faded through the walls. All the horny guys having their fun with their girls. Each one of them moaning like they were getting taken by a prized stud, some more convincing than others. It was still sort of calming to me among other things. I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep until I took care of myself and with one hand, laying on my side, I began to do just that. Images of Jessica and Katie, even the Mistress filled my mind.

It didn't take long before I was joining them in their lustful song, moaning with them as I teased myself to their voices. It is going to be my first orgasm I thought to myself, the first one ever in this place and it was on my own terms. Though I knew full well it would not be up to me the next time and it sure as hell won't be my last.