The Wolf Inside-Blue eyes
Blue Eyes
The Signs
I sat watching reruns of Family Guy in my small tan bedroom, bored out of my mind but still unable to sleep. I glanced out my window, shivering slightly at the dark forest surrounding me, like so much of northwestern Montana, we were in the middle of the Rockies. Thankful that I had a roof over my head, I turned back to the T.V. my room wasn't the biggest in the house but I was just happy to be out of my old room, a six by eight walk-in closet. I hadn't done much to make the new room my own yet, I was still uncomfortable with all the wall space. The most I had done was to add a couple plants and throw a couple pictures on a small tack board. As for furnishings I had a several decade old bed, dresser set and an equally old T.V. to match. I switched the channel to a Twin Towers special, they had made the show in memorial of the seventh year since the twin towers bombing, but I had already seen several documentaries like it and I couldn't get interested, so I switched the T.V. off and turned out the lights. As my mind wandered, it pulled me inexorably to the feeling of anxiety that had hung heavy on my consciousness all day. I couldn't understand these bouts of depression that deprived me of rest, but quickly the downward spiral steepened and I was soon contemplating death. What would it be like, would it be quick, easy? These were the questions that I puzzled over until the reluctant embrace of sleep stole my conscious thought. Still the questions plagued my mind in the form of nightmares of paralysis and endless falling. One dream in particular stood out among the haze of others, a wolf lit by the moon looking through a pane of glass, its silver coat only marred by a white collar of fur that ran around its neck, its golden eyes seemed to burn into my mind. The entire scene soon faded with the arrival of the next dream until I could only clearly remember the glowing orbs of gold.
"Gooooood morning!, this is the five Thirty wake up call, on September twelfth, it is a chilly thirty two degrees..." I smashed the alarm clock as hard as I possibly could without breaking anything. I then grudgingly sat up fighting against my sleep muddled muscles, begging me to go back to bed. Slowly I stood up grabbed a new set of clothes and headed to the shower. After I had finished I came downstairs into the kitchen, grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat down next to my mom and dad at the table. "Morning Adolphus," my dad said, this prickled me a little, I hated my name, I had forbidden everyone in my family to call me Adolphus, I had decided to wear the common everyday John, but my dad still insisted on using the name he had picked out for me. "Me and your mom are going to be in town today when school ends, would you like us to pick you up after school?" he asked
"No" I answered curtly, still angered that he would use my real name
"Fine" he responded, knowing that I would not cooperate with any of his small talk
As I sat drinking coffee and reading the newspaper a splash of color drew my eyes to a small picture in the upper left corner of the paper. The picture was one of a dead wolf, its black hair bloody, and its orange eyes dull and cold where once bright and proud. The caption above read "Record Breaking wolf found mauled to death" strangely as I looked again at the picture of the wolf, I felt a stab of sorrow, similar to that of losing a loved one, it did not last long though. Only after I had regained control of my emotions and looked back up to the paper did I realize that I could not see, ah crap, I thought, now my contacts are screwing up. But as I blinked I saw a diamond of light fall and splash onto the paper where it was quickly absorbed, this almost floored me, why the hell was I tearing up over a dead wolf? It made no sense, I hadn't shed a single tear since I was ten! Feeling fine but a little disturbed by my outburst of emotion, I said my farewells to my parents and began the walk to the bus. This was one of my favorite parts of the day, it was a time of thinking and solitude, this of course ended when I got onto the rowdy bus to whitefish but I compromised by turning my ipod on as loud as it would go. The next few weeks, I began to have mixed dreams, some of them having to do with the monotony and boredom of my life, others of endless running from unknown terrors. Otherwise my life continued without interruption or anything else out of the ordinary, I quarreled with my sister Ceria, maintained passing grades in school and never thought twice about the wolf, living the life of an everyday teenage boy
I was sitting on the bus to school with my hood over my eyes, ipod as loud as it would go, essentially isolating myself from everyone on the vehicle, I checked my watch and was startled that it was now almost November, I gazed out of the fog covered window, trying to make sense of the blurred images flying past me, slowly the same feeling of anxiety from so many weeks ago began to take control of me, but this time sleep was not an option, so in an effort to distract myself I took out some math homework that was due next week and set to work, the seemingly endless calculations and numbers quickly calmed my mind and dispelled any of my pessimistic thoughts, this occupied me until the bus arrived at the high school. Homework done and school still several minutes away, I strolled into the library and perused the fiction shelves for any title that would catch my eye. After several minutes of fruitless searching, I gave up and sat down to read one of my favorites, Eragon by Christopher Paolini. I was interrupted halfway through the third chapter by my friend Zack, "reading the same book again john?" he teased, "nah" I answered "just been reading these first three chapters for two and a half years." This brought a small smile to both our lips, we both knew that I was a voracious reader but was very stingy when it came to books, there were very few that could hold my interest through the first few chapters. Zack sat down and began to question me about a test I had taken several days ago, we were interrupted by the morning bell, declaring it was time to get to class.
The rest of the day passed rather quickly, just another painful six hours of study and boredom, soon enough I was on my way home.
I departed from the bus and began my trek back home, as I walked, my mind was pulled back to that morning so long ago, when I had become so emotional over a wolf. What did an animal mean to me? I continued to try to puzzle out the riddle but after several minutes I was startled from my reverie by a rhythmic huffing, it was quickly approaching from behind me, I made a quick decision to jump into the ditch on the side of the road and attempt to hide. The panting got closer and closer, until it seemed there was no way I would be able to stay hidden, but, suddenly it stopped, not just stopped moving or quieted but ceased to exist. This scared me almost as much as its arrival. I refused to move for ten minutes squatting in the cold water. After I had crawled my way out of the ditch I resumed my walk home, now curious as to what was wrong with me, strange dreams, mood swings and now ghostly sounds. Worried I began to jog home. The sounds soon faded from my mind, I had more important things to worry about then dreams that I couldn't separate from my waking reality.
That same night I was once again waiting for sleep to spirit me away from my distress when I heard a whimper, it began low and progressed into a cry, this was not possible though, I hadn't even fallen asleep yet, or maybe I was already sleeping, either way it took me a total of two seconds to decide to investigate the noise, call it a suicide attempt, or whatever else you want, It felt like whatever it was that made the noise was in great distress. I was tired of not knowing if I was sane or not. I got up and grabbed a sweatshirt from the floor, I then slowly opened my sliding glass door and crept outside, it was a moonless night, and I could see nothing but the stars. I had taken three steps from the door when the whining peaked and then stopped altogether. I halted wondering why I was moving to a noise in the dark, still the drive to prove my sanity was stronger then my caution, I continued to move towards the sound. Now I was just outside my window, I began to make my way south into the trees where I could still here the soft breathing. I reached down groping for anything tangible. The tip of my index finger brushed against fur, startled I let out a muffled cry and jumped back, there is actually something there! I'm not going insane! I waited for my heartbeat to regain its normal rhythm and then again I slowly reached for the soft sighing of the animal. This time I didn't pull back from the touch, I marveled at its softness, it was like rabbit hair, but much longer, and thicker. I then felt the muscles under my hand flex as the animal began to rise, I pulled away and stood up. I heard as the animal rose and padded softly away, but just as it was about to disappear into the trees, I glimpsed a flash of gold reflecting in the faint light. Strangely every footstep that the animal took in the opposite direction seemed to open the gate to my anxiety wider and wider. I returned to my room thoroughly disheartened. Believing that I would never see it again, I felt extremely depressed. As I crawled back into bed and laid down, I could already feel sleep overcoming me, strange that I could feel so very depressed and still sleep so easy. As I drifted through the grey clouds of thoughts, one dream repeated in my mind, the same memory of soft fur and golden eyes, and yet I never knew what was going to happen next, every time I touched the soft fur it took my breath away, and every time I saw the flash of gold, my heart skipped a beat. But once, just once I knew what was going to happen, I reached out, anticipating the touch of fur, and as it walked away, I was waiting for the beautiful golden eyes. Her fur, Her eyes.
I awoke thoroughly refreshed for the first time in years, untroubled by the crippling anxiety or inane depression, for the day at least.
The next night I waited for her to return, and the next, and the next, but she did not come back, this just threw me deeper into the black hole of despair, I felt trapped, stuck in an endless cycle of monotony. And so my pain once again took precedence. But even so time continued, September passing into November, November to December, fall to winter. We had our first snow the third week into November, yet even with the coming of my favorite season I could not cheer up, there was something missing from my life.
I was lying awake one moonlit night, struggling with my insomnia, when I heard a familiar whimper. I was up and out of bed in under a second, I stopped at the door wondering just as I had before, why am I doing this? I did not have to wonder for long. The snow felt like needles lancing into my toes, I turned towards the woods several feet south of my room, and even though the moon was full and bright, I could see nothing but a dark shape on the ground. I strained to hear anything, I thought I could pick out the very faint tempo of breathing several feet into the trees. I slowly started to walk towards the sound. I closed to within what I would have guessed to be ten feet of the breathing when my bare foot snapped a small twig. It was barely audible even to me. But it might as well been gunfire to the animal on the ground in front of me. It jumped to its feet, silver hair and golden eyes flashing in the moonlight, I was struck dumb, my mind paralyzed, a wolf, I had seen those eyes before, in my dreams, or what I had thought at the time to be my dreams. Only one thought resonated in my, for once, empty mind, it's her. She is a wolf! I stood frozen in place now, not by my epiphany, but by fear. Here I stood, staring down a goddess of the hunt, who could just as easily rip my throat out as I could snap a pencil. Yet she just slowly lowered herself to the ground, favoring her right side. After I had calmed down somewhat, and I had realized my life had not come to an end. I took a closer look at her. In the moonlight I could see that her entire hind right leg was covered in dried blood. I had never been squeamish before, but this caused my stomach to flip, it looked as if she had almost bled to death, and this more then anything made me feel sick. I quickly ran back to my room and grabbed a ratty shirt that I hadn't worn for years. I walked back outside and slowly approached the wolf again, she kept her glowing eyes on me the entire time but never made a single threatening move. I slowly crept forward, maneuvering myself into a position where she could watch me but I could get a better look at her leg. I could see several very large barely healed puncture wounds in the strong muscle of her thigh. I slowly reached out and began to stroke the fur along her side, attempting to calm her, marveling again at its unusual softness. I grabbed a handful of snow and slowly cleaned her leg, there wasn't much I could do about infection. So after cleaning the blood off as best I could, there was only one thing left to do. Not wanting to provoke an attack by startling her, I slowly picked up her leg and wound the shirt around the puncture wounds, very carefully tying it snug but also as gently as I could. Unsure if my makeshift bandage would do any good at all I took several steps back and sat down, now just watching to see what she would do. She slowly lowered her intense gaze and, no doubt painfully, got to her feet. She looked at me one last time, and turned into the woods, slowly limping into the darkness, I also turned my back to her, feeling better that I may have done something to help a proud beast such as her. As I was drifting off to sleep my semiconscious mind puzzled over one little detail that my fully conscious mind had shrugged off as impossible. The scene replayed over and over in my dreams, and each time I thought I could see her head bob, just a little, as if thanking me as she turned into the woods.
My eyes shot open, I felt totally refreshed, wondering if I had overslept I turned to my alarm clock and was startled as the radio station it was set on announced it was, five thirty, the same time It always rang, I quickly did the simple math, I must have been up till at least two in the morning, that meant I had only slept about three and a half hours, but that was nowhere near enough to feel this rested. Confused but not entirely unhappy about it. I turned towards the window, looking up into the still, star strewn sky, after several minutes I stood up grabbed my clothes and proceeded to the shower. As I stood, head bowed under the hot water, the nights events finally hit me, what had I done? I had strolled up to a wild animal, worse, a wounded wild animal and bandaged its leg! It could have had a myriad of diseases! What was I thinking? Slowly I regained control of my emotions, I was thankful for this attribute. I could control my emotions better then most everyone else I knew. "Was it just a dream?" I asked myself out loud, but no, there was no possible way, I had felt the fur, I had smelt the blood and I was missing the shirt, here was solid evidence that I was not going insane. This comforted me somewhat. I turned off the shower and got dressed. I was just heading downstairs to tell my parents what had transpired, planning to prove to them that it was real, when I overheard my dad yell "Yes! The wolves are finally off the endangered list, I'm definitely gonna' have myself a wolf tail by the end of the season." I stopped, this changed things, I couldn't tell my dad that there was a wolf living near the house, he would kill her, I felt an overpowering need to protect her. Just as I realized the emotion, I also realized how irrational this thought was, protecting a wolf from god-knows-where from my own father? But yet this was one feeling that I could not quell, I struggled with this protectiveness for several minutes, but to no avail, resigned with the strength of the emotion I decided to keep my mouth shut and pretend to care that there was a snow storm blowing in from the mountains, or what had happened on the previous Heroes episode. I very nearly sprinted out of the house in a hurry to get outside, hoping that I would not see her, praying that she had more sense then the average wolf and would perhaps sense the danger of humans. I didn't even know what it was I was planning to do if I did find her, as much as it would hurt me, maybe I would be able to chase her away, or scare her bad enough to leave. I made it to the bus without any sight of the hauntingly beautiful golden eyes, or the silky silver fur. As I got onto the bus and took my usual seat three rows from the back, I took a last look out into the woods, something caught my eye, not silver fur, no golden eyes, but something, dark and large, moving with unbelievable speed through the trees, it happened so fast I knew that it was entirely possible that my mind had turned a bird zipping past the window ten feet away into the large animal sprinting through the trees several hundred feet from the bus, heart stuttering slightly, I sat back down in my seat, took out my ipod and attempted to distract myself with the music.
School passed much the same as it always did until I reached my seventh period study hall, I decided to do a little investigating on wolves, I scoured the internet for facts about them, what I read didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, a lot of scientific mumbo jumbo, but one thing that did catch my eyes was that the average female wolf ways between 35.2 and one hundred and twenty pounds, this didn't seem right, the wolf I saw was at least my weight, probably more and I weighed just over one hundred and forty pounds. Another physical characteristic that stood out was the overall size, a good foot longer then the measurements given on the website, thinking it faulty I moved to another, but this just stated most wolves as being smaller then that of which the first website stated. This one said that most females were around eighty pounds. Dismissing these as incorrect I gave up the search. I used the rest of my class period to finish up the homework I was planning to complete at home.
I hesitantly got off the bus, worried first about seeing the silver wolf, and second by running into that large black beast I thought I saw this morning. But it seemed luck was on my side, or against me, for even if I wanted the wolf as far as away from civilization as possible, for her own protection, I could still feel the longing to see her. I made it home without incident, I and my family watched a little T.V. and after dinner, my parents insisted on me watching an episode of Heroes. By the end of the show it was past nine, and even though I had only gotten three and a half hours of sleep I still felt like I had gotten a full night in. sighing with what I knew would be another restless night I set off for my room and pulled the covers over me, calming my heart and slowing my breathing. It was just past eleven and I was still dealing with my insufferable insomnia, stuck between waking and dreaming, when I glimpsed gold in the window. This should have angered me and triggered the protectiveness that I had felt this morning, but it didn't, maybe I was just irrational because I was half asleep, but all I could feel at the moment was relief that she had come back. Even though I was reassured by the flash of gold, my mind was puzzling over something, even as I drifted off to sleep. The golden eyes I had seen were an easy five and a half feet off the ground, and there was no fur highlighted by moonlight, only long, fine hair, drifting in the breeze.
The Fight
Again I awoke almost exactly five seconds before my alarm clock began to buzz, still puzzled my change in sleeping habits, I stood up and gathered my clothes. I was finished with breakfast, all packed and just headed to the door when my mom came downstairs
"What are you doing john?" she questioned "going to school?"
"Umm... yea" I answered
She began to laugh, "hah, very funny"
I felt very confused right about now, and it must have shown on my face
"You're serious, aren't you?" she asked "its Christmas break John, you wont be going to school for another two weeks"
"... oh" this stunned me, where the hell had time gone?
"Ok well I guess ill go back to bed then" I said
She frowned "You do that... you seem to have been... different, lately, maybe a little extra sleep would do you good"
"Yea... sure" I answered
I was highly skeptical that any amount of sleep would help at the moment, first I wasn't tired at all, and second, I felt an overwhelming urge to leave the house. So I laced up my boots, grabbed a heavy jacket and wool pants left a note to my parents telling them I was out for an all day hike, it wasn't an unusual thing for me to do. So I set off. I turned south outside my house and started to trudge through the foot deep snow Originally I planned on hiking a couple miles away and spending the day in solitude, but in the end I decided to take it slow and go for as long as I could.
When I finally decided to turn back, I was a good seven hour hike away from my house, I had packed some snacks but they were long gone, and I was beginning to get very hungry. Even though it had taken seven hours to walk to this point, I had taken several breaks along the way and figured I would be able to make it back for dinner if I didn't stop. I took one last look at the magnificent scene below me, I had stopped for a break on the top of a ridge overlooking a meadow, there wasn't enough snow to cover the tall grass and I could see the frost refracting the light on the tall stalks. I turned around and began to walk back. I had only gone a couple hundred feet when I heard a snap of a small twig behind me, I whirled around ready to run or defend myself as the situation demanded, but I could see nothing, I waited for several more seconds before I continued my hike, ready and waiting for the next sound. I didn't have to wait long. This time it was deep crunch as something broke through the base layer of snow, this startled me, I was walking on this base layer and I couldn't break through it if I tried. Now extremely frightened I began to slowly make my way away from the noise, running would have only alerted the animal to my presence, not to mention it was almost impossible in the deep snow, I was so intent on listening for the next noise, and so careful on where to place my footsteps so as not to trip, that I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I kept this wariness up for hours. When I finally felt safe enough to relax and take a good look at my surroundings. I realized that I had never walked down this path before. Very aggravated but not in the least worried that I would have to backtrack I turned around and began the long trek back. I hadn't walked ten feet when the first large flake of snow landed on my nose. Thinking nothing of it I continued down the road, but soon there was more snow, it was difficult to see more then a hundred feet through all of the falling white, still the true extent of the situation I had put myself in didn't register in my brain. Soon enough it was a full on white out, I couldn't see a foot in front of my face, I stooped down to look for my tracks, and realized that I could barely discern them among the surrounding snow. Then it hit me. There was no way I could get back to the house before the snow buried my tracks. I began to move as quickly as possible in the ever deepening snow. Within a mile I was sweating profusely in my winter clothes. Somewhere in my brain I knew this was a very bad idea, this part of my mind told me to make a shelter, make a fire, stay warm, find my way back tomorrow, but I was to panic stricken to obey. I continued to follow the trail until I hit a fork, I bent down to try to find my tracks among the snow, but all I could see was a flat sheet of pristine white. Worried that I had missed my trail I turned around and began to move back the way I had come, within twenty minutes the tracks I was following were almost gone to, yet still I could not see any deviation of the trail, I once again turned around, following the only tracks I could see, I continued to keep moving, sometimes quickly, and sometimes slowly. I made my way back to where I believed the fork was, but as I turned a corner all I could see was another bend, and after that all I could see was another bend in the trail. I knew it now, I was hopelessly lost. This was really bad for me, no food, no shelter, no protection, all I had was a couple matches and some fire starters, lost in the middle of the Rockies. I continued to wander in this white world for several more hours, by this time it was starting to get dark. I happened to look down and thought I could discern a very faint trail, ecstatic, I began to follow it, it didn't occur to me, as frightened as I was, that there was no way these tracks could be mine, the rate at which the snow was falling any tracks would be invisible within ten minutes, and I was sure that I hadn't been here before, still I plowed on. I followed the tracks for hours, across seemingly countless ridges, I peaked the largest hill yet and began to make my way and down into a thin valley, by this time the moon was rising over the mountains, giving everything a silver lining. I figured that it was around ten at night, and I was extremely tired. My mind was almost on autopilot, following the trail before me. I crossed the valley and continued up onto the next ridge when I tripped over something submerged in the snow, I stumbled onto my hands and knees, and before I could struggle back up, something jumped onto my back, forcing me into the snow, jaws grasping at my neck. It struggled to get a hold around my bulky hood, but still, no amount of nylon and polar fleece will deter a predator for long, knowing that it was know or never, I gathered myself to throw the attacker off me. But before I could muster enough energy to even try to pick my face out of the snow, I heard a furious snarl, a thud and then the weight was gone. I quickly struggled to my feet and look around to see what had happened. Even now I couldn't tell truly what was going on, all I could see were the dim shapes of two animals, it was to dark and there struggling threw up great sheets of snow, frightened I retreated several feet, the animals continued to fight with much screaming and growling and the click of teeth. Suddenly I heard a cry of pain, one that I recognized. The moon came out from behind a cloud, lighting up the scene with its ambience. I saw a mountain lion, poised over a still form, a wolf. A wolf with silver hair and a white band across her throat, and even though they were lidded I was sure there was a brilliant, molten gold behind those closed eyes, I didn't even need the confirmation in the form of a bandage on her hind leg. In an instant I had recognized her, she had saved me, and in the same instant I knew that I would attempt to return the favor, reaching up I grabbed lowest branch of a nearby tree, I pulled it off with one arm, the loud crack startling the mountain lion, it released its grip on the wolfs neck. Reminded that it still had another opponent to deal with, it turned towards me, crouching low, I knew how mountain lions attacked, like housecats, preferring ambush, pouncing from yards away, biting the neck, attempting to sever the spinal cord. The adrenaline was already coursing through my veins, my hands began to shake, muscles tensing and clenching, the world seemed to pulse, vision telescoped in onto the teeth and claws of the lion, I could smell the blood, I could hear the thud of my heart, I could not only see every detail of the scene in front of me, I could feel it. I stalked towards the beast, unsure of what to do, but before I could make another move, the lion leaped, I had never had good coordination, but what happened next would have put Olympians to shame. The distance between me and the mountain lion closed rapidly, when it was just feet away I dropped to one knee, abandoning my feeble stick, instead I let the lion hit me, I rolled with the momentum and fell onto my back, I continued to roll over onto my shoulders as I continued this movement, the lion had no way to stop itself, I put my foot under its stomach and kicked it as hard as I could, it flew past me and smashed into the tree behind me. I scrambled to my feet, to filled with adrenaline to be amazed yet, but the lion did not leap back up as I suspected it just struggled meekly. I stared in astonishment as blood slowly dripped from its mouth. There was no way I had done that, even with the combined speed of its leap and my kick, it would not have caused any more then bruised ribs but as I looked at the tree again, I saw a bloody spike, just where I ripped off the branch. I looked down at the mountain lion and saw that it had a small bleeding hole in its back, it did not look fatal but as the spike sticking out of the tree and the blood now flowing from its open mouth testified, it was plenty deep enough to hit many vital organs. With each slowing beat of its heart, I could see a surge in the blood leaking from the hole. I turned and vomited into the snow, unable to look at the hunter now dieing in the snow, so instead I turned back to the wolf. She was covered in deep scratches from the lions claws, but worse were the deep gashes on the back of her neck, I suspected that the lion had gotten a hold and was in the process of breaking the wolfs neck when I distracted it. I slowly approached the wolf, she continued to whine and struggle feebly, attempting to rise, but unable to. I knew that even if she recognized me there was a very good chance that I could be bitten. I hesitantly kneeled by her head stroking the soft fur of her ears, the whining quieted and she stopped struggling, strangely the hands that had just been shaking uncontrollably were now steady as rock. I took off my jacket and laid it over her, I would be fine without it long enough to find shelter for us, I slowly backed away several steps then turned and headed towards a nearby cliff, hoping to find an overhang or a similar structure, as luck would have it I discovered what I suspected to be the mountain lions den, a small cleft in a cliff side, not deep enough to be a tunnel or cave, but deep enough to shelter us from the snow. I returned to the wolf. This would be tricky at best. I approached her from where she could see me and slowly made my way to her, I dug the snow out from under her and slowly picked her up. It took all of my will to bully my already exhausted muscles into lifting her, but I managed, during the entire process she hadn't whined at all, worried that she was unconscious due to lack of blood, I began the short trek to the den. I laid the wolf down in the farthest corner of the overhang keeping the jacket wrapped around her. "I promise I'll come back" I told her, even knowing she couldn't understand me, her eyes did not open. I walked back outside, it was mandatory that I find some dry wood, it would keep animals away and keep us warm, I hiked several hundred feet from the cave and found a dead tree, partially sheltered by a large fur, I broke of as many of the dry branches as I could carry and returned to the cave, carefully keeping them out of the snow. Anxious to see if the wolf was ok I stooped down to look inside the low cave, and was startled as I caught her gaze full in mine, she looked lucid, not pain muddled as I would have suspected, worried that she was going into shock, if wolfs can go into shock, I hurried to make a fire. I put a layer of branches against the rock and stacked the others into a teepee shape, leaving a sizable pile which I could feed the fire with throughout the night. I had plenty of matches, but only two fire starters, so I broke one of them in half and lit it, I then put the fiercely burning stick into the teepee, as soon as I was sure it would start I turned back to the wolf, who apparently had not taken her eyes off me since I returned. I slowly unwrapped the jacket from around her, wincing as I saw the gashes in her neck again. I took off my sweatshirt and tore my undershirt into thin strips, I meticulously worked my way down from the worst of the cuts to the most minor, again surprised that she did not make any sound throughout the entire process. While I worked, I talked to her, I told her my real name, Adolphus, and told her how beautiful I thought she was, and I wondered out loud about why she had saved me, I knew that she could not understand the words but it calmed me to talk to her. When I was done I sat back confident that at least she would not die due to loss of blood, lastly I took of the bandage I had put in place several days ago, the wounds were healing nicely and looked free of any infection, so I lied down, my back to the fire, wondering why she had gone through the danger of helping me, I heard her heave a deep sigh, I looked once more into her golden eyes, already falling asleep next to the warmth of the fire, human and wolf together.