FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

DISCLAIMERS AND STUFF:

The following story contains nuances of male/male love, father/son love/sexual interest, and descriptions of male masturbation and certain sexual practices. Please do NOT read this if you are of illegal age or if these topics make you uncomfortable! Otherwise, please read, enjoy, and comment!

My Modern Bahamut

By Furio

7/16/2009

Chapter 3 - Risking for a God

I woke up with a headache, realizing that I probably didn't get as much sleep as I should have. After a quick shower and brushing of my fangs, I got dressed and went downstairs to see dad with no breakfast prepared. Instead he was dressed in his huge heavy blue robe, with a cup of coffee in front of him, and one foreclaw on his face, as if he had a bad hangover. This interruption of routine scared me a bit. Did he know...?

"Dad?" I asked quietly.

My father suddenly moved his hand and said, "Oh, Nathan! Sorry didn't...didn't see you come down. You okay? Want some breakfast?" He suddenly got up and started fumbling in the cupboards for plates and pans.

I shook my head. "Dad, it's okay, I'll just have cereal this morning. You don't have to do everything for me. Really." I turned to get some milk and cereal out, and was crossing towards my father for a bowl, when I saw him put his foreclaws on the counter again, breathing heavily.

"Dad, what's wrong?!" I asked perhaps a bit too loudly. This was starting to get annoying.

"Sorry," said my father quietly. "I just had a...weird dream last night."

My heart stopped. Oh fuck, I thought. "Um, about what?" I asked.

My father didn't move for a few seconds, and then looked at me. "Oh, I was...I was naked in a shopping mall...and really REALLY scared. I had the same dream once when I was younger. It's more annoying usually, but the fact that I had it again made it weirder."

I nodded and poured my cereal and milk into a bowl. Seems like he didn't know what happened, and maybe that was good. But the idea of my father being naked stirred something in me that I again tried to will away. Fortunately, I did so.

But not for long. "How's your foot doing?" I asked. Shit.

"Much better," said my dad. "It was a small pin that I got out with tweezers. Thanks for asking."

I nodded and sat down to eat, trying not to focus on my dad again. I ate moderately quickly as my dad made himself some oatmeal, then picked up my bookbag and headed for the door. "Have a good day at work, dad," I said.

"You, too," he called back. I laughed a bit and walked out to the mailbox, where the bus was already coming to stop. Seems like everything that happened last night would never be brought up.

So why the hell was that upsetting me?

*******************************************************

"Good afternoon again," said our 11 AM volunteer professor, fortunately the same one as the last two times. "I trust you all had a good week, and are eager to learn more?"

No response from everyone else except some slight nods. I nodded a bit more vigorously. Hopefully nobody noticed.

"Good, today we talk about the cellular biology of the male and female reptile and dragon species. I will not go into huge detail, as most of this information will be covered in your biology classes. Instead I will try to make this more of a question and answer session after I explain the basics."

I grimaced and felt a desire to get some homework out and make this a study period. I was half reaching for the bag when I heard, "First, testosterone, the male hormone."

I looked up. No video this time, thank goodness, but instead, the professor had the canvas picture of an adult dragon's anatomy out again. Weird...with the spread wings and arms, the dragon looked almost like it was asking for a hug. I wouldn't have obliged though; most of its organs were showing.

"Testosterone is manufactured in the male sex organs: the testes. As opposed to the external display in most mammals, these organs are usually internal in reptiles and dragons, and can only be sensed through deep pressure and examination. They are egg-shaped and adequately small, until they grow, along with the rest of the organs, through the effects of ASD or natural puberty."

I took a deep breath. I was hoping he would say "Quickening" again, but no such luck.

"This hormone is incredible, as it flies through the blood of the being, causing changes to every part of the body at the right time. It also may transform the brain to some extent, causing newfound desires and sensations to pop up, often at the most inopportune times." He laughed a bit at that last remark, but nobody joined in. I only half got the joke...I think.

"They also cause the testes to produce one other miracle necessary for creation: sperm."

This was another word that caused my body and heart to jitter. Of course I had read about it before, but only in brief detail. The professor turned a page in the canvas to show an image of a large sperm cell.

"The sperm is the tiniest cell in any male anthro's body, mammal or reptile. Ironically enough, it is also the most important when it comes to conception and reproduction, as it is the very cell needed to impregnate a female.

"A healthy adult male produces literally thousands of sperm every second in his testes. So many are produced in order to increase the chances of impregnation in a female. I will explain this more when I explain the section on female hormones and cell production."

I slowly raised my foreclaw. This time, the professor pointed to me. "Yes, sir?"

"Uh...just how much sperm does a man produce?"

The professor cocked his head. "You mean, in his lifetime?"

"No, I mean...how much can his...testes...hold?"

The professor opened his mouth and nodded in understanding. "Oh, I see. Well, I'm really not sure, but the body makes sure never to allow an overflow of sperm to...well, 'flood' the system, you know? It takes care of that."

"How?" I asked again, without raising my foreclaw. I was starting to arouse attention from the other students, including two I recognized as members of that stupid bully gang from the other day. Damn it.

"Simple. Through nocturnal emissions. That is a nightly occurrence, when the body naturally releases the sperm through an ejaculation, or production of semen, during sleep." The professor paused, realizing his mistake. Too many new words!!

"Wait, hold on, what?" I said, already feeling flummoxed.

"Your dick shoots out white stuff while you're dreaming about some hot chick," said one of the bully lizards. The dumb jock voice was so out of contrast with the professor's scholarly tone, it was sickening.

"Clifford, I will thank you to let me teach the class, and with better choice of verbiage." The professor glared at the lizard with a growl, his adult draconic form still rather menacing when he chose to make it so. The lizard shrugged and resumed listening to his MP3 player.

"Sorry," I mumbled, suddenly feeling very sick, since apparently a dumb jock knew more than I did about sex ed.

"It's okay, Nathan. But that's how the body releases sperm. Well, either that way or through masturbation." This last response elicited some chuckles from some of the students.

"What's masturbation?"

I might as well have asked, "What's a penis?" Everybody snapped their heads at once to look at me and stare, muzzles open, eyes wide. Even MP3 lizard snapped off his device to look at me.

"Class, stop it. Not everybody knows about it, alright?" The professor sounded angry again, and I was half-thankful for his sympathy. "It's something that people do to pleasure themselves, Nathan. I'm sure your friends can tell you more. It's perfectly natural and healthy." And that was that.

But I was still confused. Masturbation? I thought I had heard guys and gals talk about it occasionally, but the concept still confused me. I confess now that when I first heard about it a year beforehand, I thought it had something to do with drugs. So naturally, when the professor said that it was 'natural and healthy,' that made it all the more confusing. I could tell, however, that after this class, rumors would fly about "that dragon who never heard of it," and I would probably stand out from everybody. Great.

The professor continued to speak on the female cellular system, but I confess I kind of zoned out on that part. It didn't seem or sound interesting or useful to me, and I was too busy thinking about sperm and what masturbation could be. It DID interest me, however, to hear about how conception actually happened, between one sperm and one egg. So that's how I was created.

Correction. So that's how my father created me.

As the professor spoke, my eyes widened as I realized the truth. My father created me through sex. Through an "ejaculation." Through his own sperm.

My abdomen was already getting warm. My heart was racing again. And thank Bahamut in heaven, the bell rang. No time for questions. Enough embarrassing ones had been asked. I ran out of class fast enough before lizard-freak could taunt me with any stupid jibes.

I felt dumb, stupid, idiotic, and every other synonymous adjective, and wondered how many of my fellow students would be whispering about me now. I looked at my watch. 12 PM, lunchtime.

My head suddenly perked up, and my heart started racing again, more comfortably this time.

Jeremy.

***********************************************************

He was sitting by himself at one end of the lunch hall. I was only too happy to sit by him. There was something about him that was comforting. Perhaps we were both going through rather freakish changes, and it felt good to not be alone. Anyways, I liked him, and he seemed mature for his age. It only felt right to sit with him.

Jeremy seemed happy, but nervous. "I hope the bullies don't come towards us today. If they see me with another guy, they'll think we're..."

"I'll get Tracy to come over," I said quickly. "Not only is she an awesome girl, but she won the shot put section of the school Olympics last year. She's got a strong right arm, and could floor me if she wanted." We both laughed, but still looked around us with a bit of anxiety.

"Thanks for lunching with me today," said Jeremy quietly. I only widened my eyes at seeing the three huge trays of food he had bought from the lunch line.

"Holy crap, are you going to eat all that?"

The bear's ears twitched embarrassingly. "I feel so hungry, I can't help it. Our sex ed professor says it's perfectly normal for bears...but part of me doesn't want to get fat." He looked at the food in front of him. "But...I hate wasting food, too..."

"Can I have some, then?" I asked, half-joking. I was a bit surprised when the bear proffered all three trays to me.

"Have whatever you'd like, I'll eat the rest," laughed the bear.

I smiled. We ate quietly, and exchanged glances every now and then.

Something told me I could trust him. I swallowed my sandwich mouthful and said, "Jeremy, can I ask you something?"

He looked up from his plate of spaghetti Bolognese. "Mmph?" he asked with a full muzzle.

I chuckled a bit and resumed my composure. "Um...this is a very weird question, but I need to know if I can trust you. I...feel a bit weird in asking this, but I think I'm the only guy here who doesn't know, and I...I just want to ask you."

The bear swallowed his mouthful. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," I said, lowering my voice to a very, VERY low whisper. "But I need to know...what...what's.....masturbation?"

The bear's fork almost fell out of his paw, but he held on to it. "Oh," he said quietly. "Yeah...yeah, I know what....what that is." His ears flattened against his head. He was clearly embarrassed at me asking this.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "I'm so sorry. I don't mean to freak you out...I just feel like...like I need to know."

The bear looked down and fidgeted a bit. I swear that I could see a grin on his muzzle. "It's okay...it's just...it's....amazing."

I was going nearly insane. "Alright, it's amazing! But what is it?!!" I spoke in a loud whisper, still worried that those bullies would sneak in on this extremely important conversation.

"Well," said the bear, leaning close so no one would hear. His large black nose looked so wet and shiny, and his eyes never looked more...capable of making me sweat so nervously.

"It's when you...hold your penis in your paw...er...foreclaw, and you rub it, until it...it grows larger...and you cum...I mean, ejac-ejac....ejacerate."

"Ejaculate," I corrected. I knew that word well enough, now.

"Yeah, sorry," said the bear, rubbing the back of his head. "But that's what it is."

"And everybody does it?" I asked, still feeling incredulous. I couldn't believe that I didn't know about this! It was like a secret everyone had been keeping from me!

"Yeah, as far as I know," said the bear, smiling.

"And...and you do it?" I asked. This was an extremely forward question to ask, but I felt I had to. The bear flattened his ears again and looked down, nodding quickly. But I could tell he was still smiling.

I couldn't help but laugh a bit, annoyed as I felt. "How did you find out about it?"

The bear was silent.

I felt I had gone too far. I sat back up straight. "I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean-"

"Th-th-through m-m-my...m-my...my....my..." He sounded like a broken record. He was staring to shake.

Something in me caused me to shoot out a foreclaw and grab his huge paw. I didn't squeeze but held on to it. He looked up at me quickly, and I could see his eyes dimming over. Oh no.

"It's okay," I said softly. "Don't say it. You don't have to..."

The bear swallowed hard. He whispered hoarsely, "Through my daddy."

I felt like I had just held a gun to this bear's forehead, his facial expression looked like it would drain color with fear.

"Oh no," I whispered. "Jeeze....I'm....I'm so fucking sorry."

The bear blinked. "Sorry?" He pulled his paw from me. "Sorry for what?"

I blinked this time. What was going on? Was I getting the whole story?

"You...you weren't....hurt?" I asked. I was really afraid of stepping over the line with my newfound friend, but fortunately, I found out that I really had nothing to fear. Ever.

Jeremy shook his head. "No, no I wasn't! What are you thinking?"

I put my foreclaw to my head and felt an extreme hotness. "But...then...I don't understand! How did-"

RINNNGG!!!

The end of lunch. But my head was filled with too many questions. Already the bear was cramming the rest of his food in his muzzle and swallowing the rest of his drink. The cafeteria swelled with noise from the pushing of chairs and shuffling of furred/feathered/scaled bodies. Even Jeremy got up.

"WAIT!" I almost screamed over the din. "Wait, I need to know more!"

Jeremy gave me a very strange look. It was obvious that I looked like a total weirdo in this situation. But all I did was put on the best pleading expression I could and said, "Please...can we....can we meet in Griffiths Park after school or something? I need to talk to you more about this."

The bear looked away, clearly trying to think this through. "It's important," I added.

He sighed. "I'll be there," he said quietly. He picked up his bookbag and walked off quickly.

I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling wetness under my scales. This bear could be the only one who would understand what was happening to me...

************************************************************

I sat on the bench, hugging my backpack to my chest, and looking around wildly, still fearing those bullies at any possibly minute. Fortunately, dad gave me a cell phone in case of emergency, and I vowed to always keep it charged, just in case.

Griffiths Park was a sad sight in fall, with all the trees almost completely bare of leaves, and nothing to stop chill winds from blowing every now and then. Seeing the bear walk through the front gates actually seemed to liven the scenery up. He wasn't smiling, though. This was going to be hard.

"Hey," I said, trying to sound friendly and casual.

He nodded and waved a paw. "Hey back." He sat down next to me and looked around.

There was virtually nobody in the park, save for a few old folks on some later benches. We had enough privacy. I turned to face the bear. "Okay, now we can talk."

Jeremy didn't have enough courage to face me, though. "Nathan....this is...s-so embarrassing."

I took a deep breath. "I know, Jeremy. I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you feel weird. You're...Hell, you're NOT weird! You're a normal, healthy, awesome guy! You wouldn't be my friend if I didn't feel that way about you!"

The bear lifted his head a bit. "You just met me yesterday."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah I did. But...I just feel like I need to know more about...you know..."

"Why?" he asked me, daring to look into my eyes. "Why do you need to know about it? What's so important about it? Or about me, for that matter?"

I swallowed. Now it was my time to bare MY soul. I looked down at my groin, where my penis and testes lay underneath, though both well hidden in my body.

"Something....something's happening to me."

The bear moved a bit closer. "Yeah, I heard. The Quickening, right?"

I shivered a bit. The way Jeremy said it, it was almost...exciting.

"No, well...yes, maybe a bit of that...but something else...something with....with my...father." I turned away. I couldn't believe I was revealing this to somebody.

"What about him?" asked Jeremy quickly. I could tell he was interested.

I turned back. "You first," I said with a rather sly smile.

He smiled back. He knew the game I was trying to play. He folded his paws across his lap and took a deep breath.

"It was maybe...two years ago. I was only fourteen, but I was already changing...my paws were growing, my fur was getting thicker. My pe-things were just changing," he said, those furry ears flattening against his head again.

"It's okay, go on...I'm listening," I said. My foreclaw was on the bench beside him, very close to his hip. I kept listening, though.

"My dad was a wonderful bear. Big, strong, and very, very fat. I remember often saying I wanted to be like him. He was amazing...he could do anything, from lift my mom in the air to kiss her, to dance wildly to good music, to play video games with me. The best dad in the world...the...the b-best..." Here he stopped and started to shake a bit.

I put my foreclaw on his leg, not caring who saw. "It's alright....just tell me what happened."

Jeremy sniffed and breathed deeply. "It was one night when my mom had to visit my aunt for a few days...I couldn't sleep and needed to go to the bathroom or something. I can't remember. I got out of bed and heard this strange noise down the hall. It sounded like my dad, like he was in pain or something. I heard about adults having heart attacks before, and I got really scared. I moved quickly and quietly to the bedroom and peeked inside..."

He paused, closing his eyes, trying to revisualize the moment.

"There was my dad, all four hundred pounds of him, lying on the bed...All I could see was him stroking his huge belly slowly with one paw, and holding his penis in the other paw...He was moaning like he was in pain, but...but he was smiling, too..."

Jeremy shivered. "I couldn't believe it. I had never, ever seen my father that happy before, and his penis was so big. I saw him rub the penis slowly at first, but then faster and faster. His huge footpaws moved against the bed slowly, and his head lolled from side to side. I just stood there, watching my father do this to himself....and soon......I...started doing it...."

I listened intently, my foreclaw still on the bear's leg. "I touched my...penis...It was already beginning to grow, and I held it gently in my paw, but focused more on my dad. He kept moaning louder and louder...I was afraid he was gonna explode or something, he started yelling and screaming, his paw flying over his penis, up and down, over and over and over again! He kicked his footpaws in the air! He smacked his belly! He was screaming!!!"

"Shhhh... shhh...," I said gently, trying to calm Jeremy's growing excitement down a little bit. "Just a little quieter." I could tell that Jeremy was reliving the moment again, but I was afraid others would hear.

"S-sorry," said the bear sheepishly. "But....but I couldn't believe what I was seeing...It was like, watching a transformation happening right in front of your eyes. And....suddenly, my dad curled up very tightly, then just seemed to...explode. He roared so loudly, he threw his arms and legs wide open across the bed...the walls shook, and I watched...something....come out of his penis."

"What was it?" I was pretty sure I knew, thanks to the sex ed classes, but I wanted to humor Jeremy.

"At first I thought it was milk or something. Only when I got older and read some books did I find out it was his...semen. It was absolutely beautiful, like watching a fountain gushing into the air..."

He sighed at the sweet memory. "I loved it so much, I think I sighed a bit too loudly. He immediately opened his eyes and looked at me. I got...I got so scared, I almost ran, but he said, 'No, don't....stay....come here and talk to me.'"

"And did you?" I asked, still worried that Jeremy may have been hurt somehow in this story.

Jeremy nodded. "I was scared, but also excited. I moved closer to my dad....I could still smell the sticky liquid on his body. He looked long at me and whispered, 'I'm really sorry, son....did I scare you?' I shook my head and asked him what he did. He told me it was 'masturbation' and that it was perfectly normal and healthy, and that he actually did it often. I asked him if I could do it, too....and...well...."

"He showed you?"

"No, he...he told me what to do. And I just did it. I held my penis in my paw and moved it all around, touching it, stroking it, and watching it grow right before my eyes. He was very patient with me...I...I did it right there, while standing by the bed..."

"Did you ejaculate?"

The bear nodded, refusing to meet my eyes. "Right on the bed. I was so upset, but he told me not to worry, and just get some towels to clean it up. I did so...He was a good teacher...he taught me all about lube, about fantasy, about my body....He even made it very funny so it got more comfortable. He told me....oh damn it..." The bear leaned forward, clearly trying to hide his tears.

I switched positions of my foreclaw from his lap to around his shoulders. "It's okay...it's okay, I whispered."

The bear lifted his tear-stricken muzzle. "When I was cleaning it up, he told me....he was proud of me....he was so proud of his son...and that he...that he..." He put a paw over his eyes. "Fuck, I'm SICK!"

This last exclamation kind of threw me. "Wait, what? What makes you think you're sick?"

"My dad!!! I mean...The guy never hurt me, not once! He did EVERYTHING for me...and I...I just wanted to make him happy in turn....He was...so beautiful..."

It was at this point that I suppose I should have been fearing myself for being gay, but sexual orientation didn't seem an issue right then and there. Jeremy kept talking, possibly unware of how much information he was sharing with me.

"He had...the biggest belly I had ever seen amongst bears...I loved touching it...hugging it...rubbing it...He had the sweetest smile, and the cutest nose and eyes that I had ever known. And when he shared that moment with me, when he taught me about the joys of self-love....when he held me when I was scared, when he played with me....Everything we shared...I..."

Jeremy was getting close to saying something big. He was scratching his claws on his jeans so hard, the material was wearing thin. His belly inflated and deflated rapidly as he hyperventilated. "N-nathan...I....I...I fell-"

"I've fallen in love with my father."

Jeremy looked up at me with wild eyes that first showed signs of anger. I suppose he was upset at me for finishing his thought as a teasing remark. But my facial expression showed no signs of humor.

I was serious. What's more, I REALIZED that I was serious. Holy shit.

"Y-you are?!" he said. His voice carried a tone of release...the joy of finding someone who truly understands what you've gone through. His muzzle became an open smile of pure bliss. Unfortunately, I couldn't match the expression.

I looked away from Jeremy, mumbling, "I don't know. But I think...I think I'm sicker than you."

Neither one of us said anything for a while. All I could hear was the wild birds' chirping sadly as their time in this year ended, and they had to fly south again. I had no idea what to say next...I had already revealed an extremely ugly truth, one that should have been beautiful, if it wasn't for societal condemnation.

"You're not sick," said Jeremy quietly. I didn't respond. How I wanted to believe him.

"Have you...talked to him?" he continued.

"TALKED to him?" I asked incredulously. "'Oh, hey dad. Guess what? I'm totally in love with you! And I have a foot fetish, apparently! Yeah, let's go make out or something!' Jeremy, THAT is sick!"

Jeremy frowned and looked away. "Oh crap, no, wait," I said, suddenly feeling stupid. "Please...I didn't mean-"

"I wish I told him," sniffed the bear. "I wanted to tell him so much...to tell him that I had real feelings for him...that I wanted to hold and be held by him for all time...to even....I don't know," he said then he looked back at me. "That's why I want you to talk to him and tell him what your feelings are conveying. Take the chance I never got."

He sighed and sidled closer to me, feeling the bond between us grow stronger. "A mugger killed him last year, on his way home from work. I'll never forget that morning, he just gave me a very long look...All that was in my head was 'Hold him! Hug him! Don't let him go!' And I just stood there and said a quiet goodbye, watching my dad leave for the very last time. I still wonder these days if he would have lived if I had done anything like that, and kept him by my side, just a second longer. I wonder.....I wonder if he was in love with me, too."

I listened carefully to Jeremy's words. This was clearly painful for him. So I wondered and asked aloud, "Why are you telling me all this?"

Jeremy swallowed and thought for a few seconds. Then he responded, "Because...there's something about you that reminds me of him. You're friendly and trusting...strong, too. You even have the same eyes...that's why it's so hard for me to look at you....Besides," Here he turned away and mumbled something incoherent.

"What was that?" I asked.

Jeremy braved himself enough to turn to me, those warm amber eyes gazing into mine. "I like you, Nathan."

I smiled. It felt good to be with a friend like Jeremy. "I like you, too, Jeremy."

Jeremy smiled broadly. I could feel the slightest hint of fur touch my foreclaw as his paw moved close against mine on the bench. I could feel that warm stirring in my abdomen again.

But I stood up this time. "I guess I better go. Dad will be wondering where I am."

Jeremy nodded, standing up as well "Yeah, my mom's probably worrying even more. But I...I'm really glad we got to t-talk." He rubbed the back of his head a bit, then stuck out his paw. "Thanks, Nathan."

I shook his paw gently. "Anytime Jeremy. You...you're really nice."

"So are you," said the bear quietly. He still held on to my foreclaw, and I could feel his thumb gently stroke the back of my foreclaw. I looked into his eyes. He looked back.

"Do....are..." he started momentarily. Then, quite suddenly, he let go, nodded with a smile, and walked away from me, saying "See you later!" I stood there, my foreclaw still stuck out awkwardly, wondering what just happened.

I looked long at my foreclaw. Like my foot, it was mostly green, had smoother scales and skin, and was adequately large, compared to Jeremy's paw. I turned it over, looking at it closely.

I'm not gay, I said to myself in my mind. I can't be gay. I can't!!!! I, Nathan Sinnert, am NOT GAY!

I balled up my foreclaw into a fist and slammed it into my right thigh, gritting my fangs together so tightly, I thought they would shatter in my mouth. But then, I softened quite a bit.

But...what if...what if I WAS gay?

***********************************************************

I found dad dressed in a casual t-shirt and older jeans this time, still showing off those footpaws as usual, now more hidden under his longer jeans. He was cooking dinner yet again, making me wonder if he would ever remember the joys of ordering in, simply to save time.

"Hey dad," I said quietly, half-worried that he'd be upset at me for my late return home.

"Hey sport," said my dad. "Where'd you go?"

"To Griffiths Park," I said. "Jeremy and I...we wanted to introduce ourselves. I'm sorry I didn't call."

My father didn't even turn to look at me, but his voice expressed kinder interpretations. "I'm only worried about you these days because of everything that's been going on. I wouldn't ask you to call, normally, but..."

"I know, dad, I'm sorry." I said, setting out places again. "Thanks for making dinner again."

"No problem," he said, turning as soon as I set down my plate and dishing out some meatloaf. I was stunned at the high-speed service. "Dad?"

"I already had mine. It's all yours," said my dad, quickly setting the tray of meatloaf aside and moving into the den. I sat at my place with food in front of me that I suddenly didn't want to eat. I instantly got up and went into the den, where dad was already sitting on the couch, propping his huge feet up on the table in front of him. Yet another thing Mom wouldn't have wanted.

"Dad, what's going on?!" I said, quite angrily, blaming my hormones for the increased tone.

"Nothing, Nathan. Go back and eat. I told you, I already had mine." He picked up a newspaper and unfolded it, hiding his face from mine.

"Then why don't you come back and linger for a bit or something?" I asked. "Didn't you get upset at me whenever I would leave the table to go play video games?"

Dad pretended to turn the pages with interest, though I could see it was with annoyance. He was silent for a minute or two, then quickly folded the paper and got up. I could see he was moving to the stairs again, for another early bedtime.

But I was fast. I suddenly reached for his arm and grabbed onto it. "Dad, wait!"

"Let GO of me, Nathan!" bellowed my father, pulling his arm from me rather forcefully. "What's the matter with you?!"

I instantly thought of asking him the same question, but I had enough of that no-win game for the past few weeks. I quickly decided to go about this in another way. "Dad, are you avoiding me?"

My dad silently responded with "Yes" by turning aside from me. "No," he said out loud. "I just...I'm not feeling well, Nathan. I have to go to bed, alright?"

"I thought you said we had to move on!!" I yelled. "Why aren't we moving on, dad?! Why do you keep running like this?"

"Son, stop it...I...I c-can't..." He gritted his teeth angrily, shutting his eyes tight. "I can't face you, alright?!!"

I had no idea what to say. "Why, dad? What did I do wrong?"

Dad put his foreclaw up to his face, covering his already-shut eyes. Why couldn't he even LOOK at me?

"She was right..." I heard him whisper.

"What?" I asked.

"Nathan...I...I..."

Slowly he brought his foreclaw back down to his side. Slowly he stood up straight in front of me, and slowly he opened his eyes.

His eyebrow ridges were arched downwards, giving him a sad expression. I stepped back a bit to look at my father's entire form. If it wasn't for the pained expression in his face, I would have said he was clearly the most majestic creature in existence. But something in him was clearly unsettling him.

Was it...me?

I took a small step closer to my dad. I whispered, "Daddy..."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!" screamed my father at the top of his lungs. I could feel the rumble from his scream under my feet, and my body shook with the power of it all. I would have been scared, too, except for one thing.

It was my DAD who looked frightened. More frightened than I ever saw him before in my life.

"J-just..." he mumbled quietly, then shut his eyes tight. "Just PLEASE eat your dinner and let me go upstairs, okay?!"

I took a step back and nodded my head quietly. He walked quickly upstairs, and I heard the bedroom door slam.

I quietly and slowly sat back down at the table, shaking all over with sadness, confusion, and fear.

Who was the father, and who was the child?

************************************************************

Perhaps he DID know about my ministrations that one night, and was disgusted.

Maybe he saw Jeremy and I at Griffiths Park and was frightened of what we talked about.

Maybe that one night when he held me, he realized that he crossed a line that he should have never known existed.

Whatever it was, it had to do with me. I had clearly become a problem in his life.

Maybe...maybe I even reminded him of mom, and it was just all too painful for him.

And yes, in case you're wondering, I DID briefly consider ending my life, but I stopped, because I remembered what he had said: "You're all I have left." If I disappeared, so would my dad.

And if I truly did love him, I would never let such a thing happen to him.

Also, that dream I had...about the growing, aging foot...was there meaning behind it, other than a twisted way to show how my body was changing?

All these thoughts had been rolling around in my head over the course of the next few weeks. Fall was slowly becoming winter, and it was already November. I shuddered to think about what Christmas would be like next month, and had a sinking sensation it would pass by uncelebrated. Without mom, it would be extra-painful.

The day after that difficult night was silent, as would be most of the next few weeks. Dad had apologized for his behavior the next night, but he was still rather tight-lipped, and continued to make meals for me as much and as often as possible. I kept my mouth shut, fearing another angry outburst. So all my time at home was uncomfortably silent and routinely dull.

Jeremy and I continued to lunch together and talk as friends do, but we restricted any sexual conversation to Griffiths Park, which was very rare, and only about what we had learned in Biology or the Sex Ed classes. Unfortunately, those were not as interesting anymore, since they were more concentrated on mating patterns of lizards and other reptiles, and dragons seemed completely out of the equation.

Until one day.

**************************************************************

I entered the class again, trying to avoid the mocking looks at the dragon who knew nothing about "jacking off" (Jeremy had taught me much about the lingo of sex, but the past few depressing weeks left me uninterested in even trying it out, and he understood). I sat down quietly and got out my notebook from my bookbag, eager to pretend to take notes in something that I was losing more and more interest in.

"Hey, dwaggy," said an annoying voice to the left of me. I knew who it was and didn't even care. The guy could beat the shit out of both me AND my defeatist personality. Another thing I learned from Jeremy.

"Still don't know nothing about that thing between your legs? Need someone to teach you how it's all done, l'l hatchling?"

The babyish tone he adopted was annoying, but made for a good comeback.

"Oh, you're that interested in me?" I dared to whisper, not bothering to turn.

He instantly stood up to presumably show that increased height could somehow mean increased heterosexuality, but thankfully our professor entered, causing him to sit down again. I still didn't turn, as I knew that more remarks would have given me more cause for danger after school.

"Good morning again, class," said the professor. "I am sorry to announce that this portion of the class will be reserved mainly for dragons, but I will ask all the other reptiles to stay, too, as they have been patient enough to sit through the last few weeks' classes."

There was an audible groan from most of the class. I smirked a bit, but wasn't expecting much. There just wasn't much to get interested in these days.

The professor set up his canvas and put up a picture of two dragons in mid-flight and apparently clasped together, but both of them were pointing straight up.

"I had talked in the past few weeks about the mating habits and patterns of lizards, and how they procreate. The process is very similar for dragons, except dragons have one more pattern of reproduction that they can participate in. However, it is very dangerous and rarely acted upon, and should only be done if both dragons are exceedingly accomplished in flying. Therefore, like any sexual activity, it is best done as an adult."

Another groan. I had hoped that in this public school that there would be no preaches or sermons in these classes, but I was wrong.

"The process is called dragon-slide. It is a beautiful and terrifying to see, though obviously very private for the mates to experience. However, most dragons have no choice but to perform it in the open, hence another reason why it is not often performed today."

The name was intriguing. Dragon-slide?

"The two dragons fly straight up into the air to an extreme height. They then fold their wings around each other, turn around, and dive straight downwards in free-fall. While doing so, the male penetrates the female the same way as other reptiles do."

I swallowed nervously and suddenly remarked, "That's dangerous!!" That elicited laughs from the class, but I didn't care. It DID sound dangerous.

"It is," said the professor. "That's why I say only accomplished fliers can do it. The mates usually orgasm right before they hit the ground, where upon both mates spread their wings and crest upwards again, continuing to mate as they fly higher and higher. The male usually has to hold on to the female tightly, lest the effects of orgasm make the female dizzy and endanger her flight. The male, however, is usually stronger to these effects, due to the flood of hormones in his body during climax."

One lizard raised his foreclaw, and I was pleased to see that I wasn't the only one with things to ask or say. "Well, why do dragons do that if they can just have sex like lizards?"

The professor smiled. "Good question. Partially, they have wings and had learned to do it in ancient times, and it just became tradition. But the other reason may be more stereotypical of dragons...and I hesitate to say whether or not it's actually TRUE."

I thought and guessed at the answer: Dragons are always said to like risk and danger more than any other species. That's probably why I was so bold at so many times, whether it was exploring my father in the night, or asking questions in sex ed class, or yelling at my dad...Yep, I had definitely exhibited those traits.

"Because...because we like risking things, right?"

The professor smiled again at me. "We seem to, don't we?" The other dragons laughed, and only this time did I join in.

I enjoyed risk. Well, well.

************************************************************

I dreamt again that night. But about what, it was hard to say.

I had opened my eyes to a weird view: something like looking at a thick sheet of green glass that was streaked or painted over, so I could see nothing on the other side, save for dim shadows and objects that passed by. I was floating, too...moving slowly in some kind of fluid that felt warm, safe, and altogether comfortable. I held myself together, balled up, hugging my knees close to my chest.

I was in this position for some time, looking all around me, trying to make sense of where I was. But everywhere I looked was more of that thick green substance that I couldn't see through. I couldn't even cry out, because of all the liquid surrounding me. Still, breathing didn't seem like much of an issue to me.

Suddenly, the place I was in started to move. I looked around wildly, afraid that the comfort I was in would be endangered somehow. But nothing changed. There was a huge shadow that darkened everything around me for a moment, but it didn't scare me. Rather, I felt that I was being lifted up somehow, and carefully moved. I still couldn't see anything.

Finally, the moving stopped. I felt settled and warm again, and saw another shadow partially cover the glass, somehow increasing my comfort level.

I was about to close my eyes and go to sleep when I became aware of another shadow and sensation. Something else was moving along the glass very slowly. I heard a gentle scratching sensation, then something smoother rubbing slowly around the glass in gentle motions. And I saw another shadow, a large one, mimicking that sensation and moving all over the glass.

Then one more shadow, the huge one, the one that was moving before, surrounded me and the glass. Darkness enveloped me, but I still did not feel afraid. Rather, I felt that, with the darkness, there was nothing to fear, and I would not be harmed.

Then, a sound. A beautiful sound. It sounded so extraordinarily familiar. It was...a voice...a sentence...

...one that I could never forget...

**************************************************************

I blinked. My bedroom ceiling. No more screams or cries. No pains in my body or nightmares. I sat up slowly, trying to remember what I just dreamt about.

Nothing. I had totally forgotten it. The only thing that was left was that sensation. That warmth...that comfort...and the familiarity of it all.

I continued to sit up, breathing deeply, my mind a mesh of thoughts and feelings. I looked down at my large foreclaws, then down at my oversized feet. I pulled the blanket off and looked between my legs. Nothing, save for that nearly inperceivable slit, the one that hid my genitalia inside, as I had learned. And in the past few months, nothing had shown itself.

Suddenly, I lifted my head. Something HAD changed, though I couldn't see it. My brain.

Synapses that had never before connected suddenly gathered together. I felt pulses go down my spine and through my whole body. My body spasmed once, and I shivered a bit.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed. Planting my large feet on the ground, I slowly stood up. I walked to the door and stopped for a moment.

What was I doing?

I felt like I was not in control of my body...like my brain was forcing motions through my body that I was unaware of, yet my eyes were open and I was seeing everything. I slowly and quietly walked through the doorway and down the hall, stopping by my father's bedroom.

I turned my head to look inside. He was there, sleeping on top of the sheets this time, in those big blue boxers.

I stepped inside the bedroom gingerly, my feet quietly placing themselves one in front of the other as I made my way to the foot of my dad's bed. He was sleeping partially on his back, and partially on his side, with his left leg pulled up so his foot was plantigrade on the mattress, while the other leg was stretched out, his foot resting on its side.

I regarded my dad for a very long time. All thoughts of his yelling at me and wanting to be left alone were completely gone.

He was hot.

I could see his complete form now. My dad had thick appendages; his arms and legs were both filled with muscle, and even his chest looked quite broad and strong. His belly, however, was quite the noticeable gut, giving fat to his already muscular weight.

I didn't care about the fat. It just made him hotter.

I moved quietly again to his side of the bed, looking long at that large ribbed gut, slowly inflating and deflating with every one of his snores. It was a more yellowish-green, like the soles of his feet, and smooth and ribbed, like most dragons. The skin was a smoother leathery substance, moreso than the tough reptilian skin of his tail or the hard shiny scales on his body. It blended perfectly with the rest of his body as the yellow darkened into that deep green color that was so incredibly beautiful.

Beautiful. Hot and beautiful. My dad.

I smiled as I realized that I had thought the same thing about Bahamut when I saw his image.

I reached out one foreclaw very slowly, moving it towards my father's stomach. It rose and fell rhythmically, and I just watched it do so as my foreclaw got closer and closer. I wanted to feel my father...touch him...explore him...

And finally, my foreclaw rested lightly on my dad's belly. It rose and fell as well, and I slowly began to float my foreclaw over his belly, up his stomach, up to his chest, feeling the breadth and warmth of his reptilian skin. The smooth, leathery feel of his ribbed gut. The curve...the swell...

I smiled. I was enjoying the risk.

I brought my foreclaw up to my dad's huge neck, being very careful to not brush my claws against him, for fear of tickling him or waking him. Even so, I was thinking less of that and more about how wonderful my father's skin felt against mine. I stroked his horns absent-mindedly, and touched the ridge of skin on his head between them. I touched the ears lightly, knowing they could definitely be tickled. And through it all, my dad snored.

I looked down at his arms. He had one arm stretched out on the bed, the huge foreclaw pointed towards me. The bicep was relaxed, but I could tell by looking at it that it was full of promising, perfect muscle. My foreclaw floated over that, too, perceiving the roundness of the bicep and the incredible cylindrical form that swelled right at the middle, than shrank ever so slightly as it reached the elbow. I moved down to my father's foreclaw, fascinated at how it was still larger than my own. I wanted to grasp it so much...

Instead, I moved down closer to the greatest treasure, focusing first on my dad's thick muscular legs. I looked at the folded one first, noticing the rounded shape of the knee, and how the position made my father's calves even more noticeable. My father had strong thighs, too. Hell, every part of him was BIG.

My eyes momentarily fell on my father's boxer shorts, too. I always loved those boxers, as they just seemed so...sexy, somehow. I smiled and momentarily wondered about what laid beneath those boxers, and how my dad's genitalia compared with my own. I licked my muzzle slowly with my forked tongue.

But now it was time for my prize. I moved back to the foot of the bed and knelt down, looking reverently at my father's stretched right foot, lying on its side in a casual, yet beautiful way. It was perfect. It was even larger than my transformed foot, and the toeclaws wiggled and clenched in an incredibly subtle manner, so slowly, and almost inperceivably. I noted how, at my father's ankle, there was no jutting in of skin to imply that the leg was smaller than the foot. Rather, the foot seemed to grow INTO the leg, maintaining the thickness and proportion perfectly. No foot could rival my father's.

Except, perhaps for Bahamut's.

I reached my foreclaw out again and stroked the outline of my father's foot with a single claw. It lightly scratched the softer skin so gently, that the foot spasmed a bit, and I heard a bit of a giggle on the other end of the bed. This didn't faze or concern me. I was having too much fun doing this, and I was not about to stop. I continued to stroke and scratch very softly. I reached out both my foreclaws and lightly covered my father's foot with them. I closed my eyes.

"Oh Bahamut," I whispered into the darkness. "Please make me a servant of your mighty feet."

Yes, I know it sounds silly, but you weren't there.

I moved my head closer, pressing my muzzle against the bottom of the closest toeclaw. I finally allowed moistness from my own maw to touch the skin of this toeclaw.

A kiss.

Another.

Another.

I nuzzled my father's foot, from heel to toeclaw.

I licked them. I kissed them. I licked them again! And again!!! AGAIN!!!

Oh fuck, the TASTE! The TEXTURE! My father...MY OWN FATHER!!! The meat of his own body tasted better than any meat he had ever served me! I licked over and over, I nuzzled, I kissed!!! I was in love!!!!

This was heaven!!! This was absolute, perfect fucking he-

"NATHAN?!!!!"

...hell.

I looked up sharply, and my brain seemed to transform instantly. No more romance, hotness, beauty, or sex. Only my dad seated up, pulling his foot sharply from me, a look of shock on his face.

"NATHAN?!" he yelled again. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!"

I got up shakily, shivering all over and fearing for the worst. Psychiatric visits. A beating. A painfully long preachy sermon. Hate. More hate than I could stand from anyone whom I thought I loved.

"D-dad..." I mumbled. "Dad, I'm sorry....I...I'm so sor-"

"JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCKING HELL YOU'RE DOING!!!" screamed my dad.

So I did what any frightened son would do. I ran.

Back to my bedroom. I locked the door and pushed a chair in front of it. Then got under the covers, watching it in fear, waiting to hear footsteps and rattling of the doorknob or anything.

Nothing.

I listened to the other side of the wall. I could hear heavy breathing and some odd scuffling noises, but gradually they quieted. My dad wasn't moving.

I pulled the covers over me, but didn't sleep one bit that night.

I was frightened. Frightened of the man I was in love with.

To be continued......in chapter 4.

Post-note: Things seem to be getting sad/depressing/dramatic, don't they? :( Well, don't give up the ship yet...it actually can only go up from here. And trust me, the best is yet to come. ;)

Special shout to the people at www.dragnix.net (which might not be back online at the time of this posting) for providing all the biological information on dragons that I used in this story, as well as the subject of "dragon-slide", which may be important in a future story.....

And special hugs and love to all my readers and fans. It's YOU who help me continue to write. *hugs you all close* :)