03 - Aftershocks
#3 of The Hitchhiker pt 2
In which Craig deals with the internal effects of having been assaulted, and Toby proves to be good support.
Adult rating because of the greater story, and because there is some blatant profanity in this one.
Apologies to my followers for the gaps. I know I said I was going to be better at updating the story. I have lots of time right now, but the pressure of not having enough work actually crushes my creative juices. So as much as I've been saying, "Gee, I should add a chapter," I've been coming up blank with what to do for this one. Glad to finally have something on the page!
The walk upstairs to the apartment was torment. What was I going to tell Toby? How would he take it? Would he believe I didn't mean for it to happen? Questions ran through my head with each step. By time I made it to the top floor, I had determined that I should stay quiet, at least until after dinner, when we usually talked about our days. After all, I caviled, Toby had bigger things to worry about, getting school started. Classes officially started today, and he expected to get a lot of homework right away. Especially since he was taking his science credit this year - and not a rocks for jocks class, either, he was taking a higher level physics class - and a higher level math class, both from professors who were known to be tough. I was supposed to make dinner, so I let myself in, called out a greeting to Toby, who must be in the office, and got started in the kitchen. I heard him call "hey" back, which meant he was in the middle of homework and concentrating hard.
I didn't hear from my Tiger again until the smoke alarm went off because I was not paying attention and had turned on the wrong burner, setting a loaf of French bread on fire. He came bursting into the room to see what was amis. "Woah!" He grabbed the fire extinguisher and began to spray it over the stove as I grabbed the loaf with a pair of tongs and threw it in the sink.
"Shit! Damnit! Fuck! Fuck!" I screamed.
"Hey, babe. It's ok! Woah, woah. The fire's out. And it's just a loaf of bread. Well... and whatever I just covered with fire retardant chemical." Toby gestured at the pot that he had doused. "It's not the end of the world."
"It's not that," I cried out. "It's... Oh, fuck! What else can go wrong today?" I collapsed to the floor and buried my face between my knees and began to sob.
Toby took a few moments to figure out what just happened by making sure the stove was off, opening windows and turning on fans, to clear the smoke alarm. Thank goodness, this one wasn't connected to the whole building. But we only had a few more moments to clear the air before the one in the hall, which was, would start up. The windows and the porch door wide open and the fans blowing, Toby came and sat down next to me. I cringed when he put his arm around me.
"What? Are you ok?"
"No," I cried again. "I am not fucking ok! Michael - this stupid cheetah - the gym - Jack, and then - augh!" Thoughts were jumbling, and I couldn't make heads or tails of anything that was racing through my mind. I could tell from the look on Toby's face that he was even more confused.
"Hey. Take a minute and get yourself collected, hon. I'll deal with dinner, and get us a replacement. Then you can tell me about it, alright? Now, come on. Get up off the floor," he lifted me gently, and guided me over to the couch. "Here we go. Alright. You just sit here, and relax." He threw a blanket around my waist, and handed me a pillow. Then he went and got me a glass of water, ordered my favorite pizza, and proceeded to clean up the remnants of dinner. By time the replacement dinner had arrived, I had managed to stop crying, and Toby plated up a big piece and handed it to me.
"Ok. So I guess we should start with the beginning, eh? Jack took you to the gym, right?"
Over the next half-hour, I proceeded to tell him about the day, from beginning to end - meeting everyone, getting the job offer, the training classes, and last, Michael. By the time I finished telling about what he had done, I had my knees up under my chin was crying again.
"This isn't just about Michael," Toby observed.
"What do you mean?" I looked up.
"Think about all that has happened to you since last spring, Craig." He began to tick off points on his fingers. "You were abandoned by your friends, thrown out of your home, beaten and ran out of town, dealt with a harassing mouse, dragged half-way across the country, and now you've been assaulted. Honestly, I have stopped and marveled at times that you've held together as well as you have."
"Well, I had a Tiger to lean on for most of that."
Toby smiled slowly. "True, but I am the one who dragged you all the way out here."
"Didn't drag me, I followed you."
Toby shot me a weird look, then shook it off. "Whatever. It's my fault you were uprooted. Again."
"What roots? Besides, I had nowhere else to go, and nowhere else I'd want to be, you silly Tiger."
"Oh, a silly Tiger, am I?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well, maybe I am, but you're just a goofy Fox!" He pounced me playfully, nuzzling and kissing. We were both laughing, the tears forgotten, as we pawed at and wrestled each other, finally slowing down into a long, healing kiss. Toby had me completely pinned under him in the corner of the couch. And yet, I felt completely safe. Part of my mind marveled at how I could feel so different than I did not three hours ago, being similarly pinned by someone else, who was not even as big or strong as my Tiger. "Huh." I pondered.
"What?" Toby asked, stopping his snuggles.
I told him what was on my mind. He just grinned. "That proves to me that you love me."
"Funny, I was just thinking that it's because you love me," I bandied.
"Good! That means we love each other." He kissed me again.
"That is good. I don't think I could make it without your love, Toby."
"I wouldn't want to try without yours," he grinned.
"Thank you."
"For what?" Toby had an annoying habit sometimes of demanding specificity when he was thanked.
"For being - no, that's not it. Thank you for not hating me when I told you what happened today. For caring for me. And for being my strong Tiger."
Toby sat up. "You were genuinely worried about that, weren't you?"
I nodded, looking down.
"Honey, look at me." I did, slowly. "I love you. And I trust you. I know you wouldn't go philandering about on me with some guy you'd just met. And I also know you wouldn't make up a story like that to cover it up. Besides, your reaction this evening was pretty dang honest. I don't think you'd have acted that way if he hadn't violated you. And besides, like I said, I'm surprised how well you've held together already after everything that's happened. I've kind of been waiting to see what would be the straw that made the meltdown happen. I'm just sorry it had to be this one."
"My life does kinda suck right now, doesn't it?" I reflected.
"Just a little. But hey, you've got me in it, right? And now you have some really great friends who will stick by you, too. So we're going to turn things around, right?"
"Yeah."
"Good. Now eat some of this pizza, now that it's cold. You need some strength."
We finished the pizza, then Toby called Jack and Michelle, who came over and we all talked through what happened. Then Toby went into the office to work and the rest of us watched a movie - the new one about the rabbit cop - while Michelle did her homework in front of the TV with us (she didn't have nearly as much for her first day since her big classes started on Thursday). The movie finished and so did the students, and we all played a round of Cards Against Furs before Jack and Michelle had to get back home and to bed.
On their way out, Jack stopped and reminded me, "Hey, I heard from Geoffrey again, too. He wanted me to remind you that we will both be there to support you if you still want the job, and if you don't we'll both help you find something else. So this won't hurt you that way, either. We've got your back."
I thanked them both for their support and for being good friends. Michelle gave me a kiss on the cheek and Jack shook my paw, and they were gone.
Toby came out in his boxers, ready for bed. "Come on, you. You've got to be exhausted. Bed time."
"I'm not sure I could sleep. I'm so wired."
"Good or bad wired," Toby asked.
"Both."
"Hmm. Well, at least come rest." He took my paw and started drawing me to the hall, catching the lights as we went. "If you can't sleep, at least rest. But I am going to bed, and I'm not going without my Fox."
"Have I told you that I love you?" I asked as we left the living room in the dark.
"Not nearly often enough," he said. I could hear the smile in his voice.
"Well, I do."
"Ditto."