FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The first phone call Mike had gotten that night was from his mother, Ruby. She'd managed to wake him up at midnight, her voice frantic. "Mom," he'd groggily said, "Calm down. What? What's going on? What happened to dad?"

"We had a... a disagreement about how he acted towards Kody. I told your father that we wouldn't have sex until he came to terms with having a grandtod," she said in a slightly calmer voice, "I left him at the restaurant and told him he could walk home. I figured he'd take a cab, but that was almost three hours ago. I haven't heard a peep from him!"

"Oh. Christ," her son said, his mind starting to slowly awaken from its slumber, "He could be anywhere."

"I know! I sent him a few text messages asking where he was and when he was coming home. I even called and left a message, but he hasn't responded. I'm worried about him, Michael," the vixen started to panic.

"I'll go look for him, mom. I promise," the tod replied as he slowly rolled out of his wife's grip, "I'll let you know if I find him."

Helen was half asleep when she started to ask, "Was that another telemarketer, dear?"

Mike looked over at her, "No, honey. Richard's gone missing."

"Mm... that's nice dear. Tell him I said hello," the vixen groggily replied, his words not even registering in her brain. Mike shook his head. She could really sleep through anything.

He'd just about finished putting on some slacks and a t-shirt when the second call came. It had caught Mike a little off guard, half expecting it to be his mother. "Mom, I told you, I'm," he started to say when he was cut off by, "Uncle Mike!"

The tod blinked a few times. It was Kody. Why was Kody calling this late? "Hey, Kody. I have some bad news," the older fox began, only to be interrupted, "Uncle Mike, my adopted dad's ex-wife just tried to kill me!"

"What?!"

"The cops are here. They just took our statements, and asked if I was going to press charges."

"Are you?"

"Is the Pope Catholic?"

Mike had to admit, it was a dumb question, but he kept the conversation going, "I figured. You want me to represent you?"

"I do. I need you and grandpa to," Kody was just about to continue, but it was Mike's turn to interrupt, "Kody. You're grandsire's missing."

"What? How? When?"

"Apparently, he and your grandmother got in an argument, and she told him he could walk home. He hasn't been answering his phone, and now she's worried."

"You need help looking?"

"Yes."

"Any idea on where to start?"

"I was going to head down to the Oasis. It's a good starting point. I can come pick you up."

"No need. RJ's here, I can get a ride with her."

"Okay. Start at the Oasis and spread out from there. Let me know if you find him."

"I will, Uncle Mike."

The tod hung up the phone. He wasn't sure what was going on, but tonight seemed to have spiraled out of control.

Kody held onto RJ as he looked up at the four officers, "I've got representation, but I need to go. It seems my grandsire doesn't want to answer his phone, and now everyone's worried."

The four weren't sure what to say at first, but Judy finally said something. "Since your house is now a crime scene, I'll see if I can find a place for Aunt Jo to stay."

Nick was slow to offer an option, "I could give my mother a call. She's not far from here. It'll be cheaper than a hotel at least, and she always enjoys company."

Kody smiled, "Thanks."

Slowly, the large tod leaned in to give the sow raccoon a kiss on the top of her head, "RJ, I need your help finding my grandsire." The woman nodded as she gave him a kiss on the cheek, "I'd do anything for you, master."

The four officers' eyes perked up, though Judy's just about popped out of her head. Nick however, started to chuckle, even as Kody looked completely embarrassed, "I didn't know you were into that kind of thing, Kody."

The other tod cleared his throat as he picked RJ up before getting back onto his feet. "We have to get going," he replied as he carried her out the door. Judy gasped a little, her hands moving to her lips as the fox, polar bear, and wolf smirked. "I think she was planning on a very different evening," Fangmire said with a chuckle.

Richard Rowan grumbled to himself as he sat on a barstool nursing his fourth beer. He hadn't been to a single's bar in quite some time, not since his college years back in the Age of Aquarius. The fox started to remember those times, a smile forming on his lips. It had been a very different era and a very different life, filled with lots of marijuana and copious amounts of free love. He'd even dated outside of his own Genus, something that was still seen as strange, but before that era, had been illegal in several counties until the Mammal Right Movement. The memories of his college years came back to him, only to be utterly destroyed by the terrible music of modernity.

Slowly, the fox put his drink down, his head swimming a little from the beer. He rarely drank craft beers, and his body wasn't used to the much higher alcohol volume. It was in this inebriated state that he first noticed a young goat woman sitting next to him. She was probably the same age as that Chris clone, maybe younger, then again, it was hard to tell since Richard had always been terrible at guessing ages.

"Excuse me," he said as he looked at her, "I have a question."

The goat woman turned her head, a puzzled look on her face, "Yes?"

"I was meeting with a client the other day and a very interesting subject was brought up that I forgot to research. Tell me. Are gazelles considered goats?"

The woman looked very confused, "Uhm... I... I think so? I don't really know?"

"Ah. Interesting," the fox said as he reached over to take another drink, "Then fucking a gazelle is considered fucking a goat?"

"Excuse me," the bewildered woman said, her eyes popping open.

"I'm merely curious. You see, my client brought up a mutual acquaintance whom he called a 'goat fucker' and yet the person is known for fucking gazelles. I was curious to know if gazelles are considered goats."

The goat was still confused and very upset, giving Richard a very stern glare. Slowly, someone walked up behind her, a very strong looking billy goat. "Is this asshat bothering you, babe," he asked as he gave the doe goat a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh good! I think you can end this debate for us," the fox said with a drunken smile, "I was talking to a client and he brought up goat fucking, which made me curious. So I have to ask, what's it like?"

Kody and RJ were wandered down the street. They'd already gone to several bars, but they hadn't managed to find Richard anywhere. They were just about to consider crossing the street to check out another drinking establishment when Richard flew out a window to crash down at their feet along with several chunks of glass.

"And stay the fuck away from me and my girl," a snorting billy goat bleated at the drunk and mostly conscious well-dressed fox spread out on the pavement.

"Richard," Kody yelled out in amazement as he leaned down to help his grandsire up. The drunken old tod gave him a goofy smile, "Chris!"

"But," the fox was just about to say before Richard's gaze turned to look over at RJ, still smiling, "Coontang!"

"Coontang," the raccoon said with a weirded out, almost angry look as the old fox continued, "I thought you two were dead!"

Kody and RJ looked at one another, the two clearly unsure about what to do as they helped the old fox onto his feet. But before they could react or say anything, Kody's grandsire tossed his arms around them and pulled them in close for a big hug, "Oh it's good to see you two again, Chris and Coontang. You have no idea how much I've missed you two."

The raccoon gave her boyfriend a curious gaze, but he mouthed, "Just go with it," back at her. "Yes," RJ said quickly, "I'm Coontang. It's nice to... see you?"

The old fox gave her a big kiss on the lips. "You have no idea, Coontang. A day hasn't gone by that I haven't thought about you," he replied with a smile before turning to look at Kody. "And Chris," Richard paused as he looked him up and down, "You've put on a little weight. Looks like they're feeding you well."

Kody nodded, "Yeah. D... Dad. They're feeding me well, but we need to get going. M... Mom's worried about you."

"Oh she's always worried about me. I can't seem to disappear for more than five minutes before she starts calling the police. But if I must go home, I'm happy that it will be with you two."

The raccoon and fox shook their heads as they moved to help Richard walk down the street. The two were silent for a few strides, trying to put as much distance between them and the single's bar as they could before Kody finally spoke. "Uhm... Dad," the younger fox started to say as he looked over at his grandsire.

"Yes, Chris?"

"I... I have a lot to tell you."

"Of course you do, son. Please, tell me what it's like in heaven. Is it great? Is it like that Naturalist Club I hear so much about?"

Kody blinked, "Uhm... yeah... It's... It's just like that, dad. But... that's not... not why we came back to help you."

"Chris and I came back because Chris has some things he wants to get off his chest," RJ added, playing along with Kody.

"Oh? You know you can tell your old fox anything, Chris. You know that."

"Dad," Kody said softly, "I... I did a lot of bad things while I was here."

"Nonsense! You were the perfect son!"

"Dad. I slept around with a lot of women. I mean a LOT of women," Kody replied, but Richard cut him off, "I knew you were stud, Chris."

"Dad, I got a girl pregnant."

"You got a girl pregnant? And never told me? When did you two get married? Why wasn't I invited to the wedding?"

"That's just it, dad. I got her pregnant, but I didn't want to marry her. I just wanted to have sex with her. When she told me about it, I pushed her away. I never married her."

"Chris! You can't be serious," Richard growled, "I raised you to be a fox! Not a mouse! When I knocked up your mother with you, I married her! Are you saying you didn't have the balls to?"

"I was scared, dad. I didn't want to be tied down to just one girl, so I told her to abort the tod she was carrying."

"Chris," Richard said, heartbroken, "You mean I... I'll never have a grandtod?"

Kody shook his head, "Dad, she didn't abort him. You know those foxes you met tonight, Kody and Josephine Grey?"

"You mean that lovely vixen and your clone?"

"Jo was the girl I knocked up, dad, and that wasn't my clone. That was my son."

Richard looked astonished, his eyelids blinking several times as his mind processed Chris' words. Slowly, he turned his head to look over at the sow raccoon, "Coontang? Is this true?"

RJ nodded her head, "It's true."

The old fox started to break down and actually cry, "I... I... I just... I just."

Kody gave his grandsire a hug, "It's all right, dad. I know you thought he was a clone, but Kody's my son, and all he wants is to have is his real grandsire."

Richard sniffed a little, "Then I'll be the best grandsire Kody's ever had!"

"I know you will, dad. But right now, you need to get home."

Richard watched as his son hailed a cab, the yellow vehicle pulling up as the weasel in the front seat poked his head out, "Yo! Where's ya headed ta?"

Kody opened the door and pushed Richard inside. "He'll tell you," he said as he passed the man a twenty. The weasel just shrugged his shoulders, giving them an, "Okay," before turning his head around to look at the sprawled out, drunken fox in his back seat, "Hey Mack. Where to?"

"Home. Peak and 4th."

Ruby Rowan hadn't chewed her claws since she was a little girl. Her mother had broken her of that habit, but right now, the vixen was so full of worry that she couldn't think. She could barely keep her eyes on the TV screen. Mike hadn't called back, and Richard, well, she had no clue where he was. She was just about to head to bed when the front door of the apartment burst open.

"Honey! You'll never guess who I met," Richard yelled out, the old tod sounding happy and inebriated as he stumbled into the hall. Ruby didn't waste any time as she ran to her husband, her arms tossing around him to pull him in nice and tight, "Richard! Where were you? I've been worried sick!"

"Oh, don't worry about me, Ruby. You'll never guess who I ran into though."

"Who," his wife asked as she looked up at him with a puzzled gaze.

"Chris and Coontang!"

"Chris? Coontang?"

"Yes! Chris says hello by the way."

"Richard. Chris is dead. And who the hell is Coontang?"

"I know Chris is dead, honey. And Coontang was an old girlfriend of mine from college before I met you. But that's not the point," her husband said as he let out a sigh, "Chris... Chris came back from heaven because he had something important to tell me. Did you know that fox we met earlier was actually his son? Chris told me the whole story. I didn't believe him at first, but Coontang said it was the truth. I can't believe I treated young Kody like that, but I can't believe our son didn't have the balls to marry Kody's mother. But I'll make it up to them! I'll be the best damn grandsire Kody's ever had, and the best father-in-law too."

Ruby blinked a few times. She hadn't expected Richard to do an about face, but it was even harder for her to digest her husband's story. Slowly, she pushed away from the drunk fox, wondering if she should call a psychiatrist when her phone buzzed in here pocket. "One... one second, honey," she said raising a finger up as she grabbed her phone.

Mike had sent her a text that read, "Kody and RJ found dad. He's drunk. Thought they were Chris and an ex. Just roll with it." A sudden realization came over her as she slid the phone back into her pocket. "Well, you do remember what I said we'd do if you came to terms with having a grandtod," the old vixen said with a smile.

"DESSERT," the fox beamed at his wife, a drunken smile crossing his face as his eyes lit up.

"Yes. Dessert."