No Fur No Fun PT. 16 Filler
I told my mom who I was dating and it could not have been more anticlimactic, but i suppose real life is anticlimactic. They didn't care that he was a lion. In fact they expected I would find myself with a fur when they realized what school I would be going to. So much stress and for what ? If nothing else It was the first time I said out loud to anyone even myself that I was in an actual relationship. Sure I implied it plenty of times and have said I was seeing someone but that was the first time I admitted to being in a relationship, a real relationship.
Nothing too eventful happened Christmas day, in fact I'd go so far as to say nothing happened. I was able to just kick back and relax. The relatives were gone I opened my presents and I watched old Christmas movies with my mom and dad. The most note worthy thing that happened that day was when I gave my parents their Christmas presents. They all but cried tears of joy , or my mother did anyway while my dad simply gave me a head node for thank you.
Where the story really picks up is after Christmas. I convinced my dad to take me back to school early. When we arrived everything seemed normal but it was when I got out of the car and walked on campus that I realized something was off. The school was a ghost town , of course it was , who stays on campus during the holidays. It was freezing cold outside, the way the wind made a sound that only echoed in the silence made the void of students clear. There was even a slight haze that you only get when its cold and your alone. It was as if I should not have been there. The school, the weather was telling me to leave to go away, but my dad was already gone. The was no way to take back my decision no matter how wrong it felt. There was a great vibe of negative energy warning me , but I was too caught up in my plan to make things right with Mason.
He still wasn't answering my calls. I texted him and left him as many voice messages as I could while I walked to my dorm room. When I made it there none of the guys were , they probably went home for the holidays. It was late and as much as I wanted to see Mason I knew with the weather being so harsh It would be better to wait until morning.
Being in an apartment made for four leaves a lot of room for thoughts to flow. I had no real plan , no strategy no real idea as to what I would say to Mason and It was becoming clear to me. Trying to sleep in my room was like a bad horror film. I was alone on campus in a dorm apartment with bad locks and my room's lock was worse. Its hard to play tough when your alone, there is no one there to reinforce your logic as to why you shouldn't be scared. I was lucky enough to eventually fall to sleep though.
I had a dream, it was short but vivid enough to leave an impression. It was like I was in a music video trying to be a movie. When I woke up the next morning I felt it was worth remembering so I wrote it out on my phone. As I wrote it I started to cry and I struggled to finish it. It read "I was a number and I wanted more than i could give , and I gave to the one person who couldn't stand to live. Like a twisted melody we played our hearts like a game . Then my lover was forever gone never to be seen again. So cold and twisted , so lost but in the light. I tried to fix him but he didn't have the will to fight. His name was 43 and I was number 2. Two souls trapped in a box unable to move. We didn't know how we ended up in such a place . But we were all that we had so it wasn't all that bad. He cried in my hands and I offered him a word. He gave me all his heart ache and I promised to make it end. But one day we were set free and we saw the sun. Then 43 was somewhere on the run."
I thought to myself "strange way to start my morning".I showered , put on clothes, ate breakfast and looked out the window noticing that snow was beginning to fall outside. I looked back on the past week and even further before then and felt like it was all just filler. Everything that happened from the point when I left Mason's apartment leaving him with the ultimatum to the point of me standing at my door way preparing to walk to his house , it was all just filler. It was procrastination at its finest . Testing , going back home , Christmas it was all keeping me from talking with Mason. I stood at the front door and found it hard to open it. I wasn't sure if I had enough filler , enough procrastination, maybe I should have stayed home with my parent's and came back after new year. Was it really time to do what needed to be done. It felt like forever and a year was the distance in time that was spent away from Mason, and yet I was so scared I wanted another day. I was prepared to take back my every demand and make things better for us but would he still be willing to try to make things work. He wasn't answering my calls or responding to text how could I have known for sure if he would speak with me in person?
After nearly three hours of wasting time watching TV and staring out the window I knew I had to go. I came back to school two weeks early so that I could talk with Mason so I couldn't waste the opportunity by letting doubts and fear cloud my will to push forward.
I had to walk clear across the campus in the snow as it was still falling. It took me longer than it would have to make it to Mason's apartment if it were hot outside. His car was out front when I made it so I assumed he was home. I went up to his door and knocked on it.
Josh- Mason its me Josh , we need to talk
He didn't come to the door , but I could hear his living room TV was on. I kept knocking.
Josh- Mason please
Still no response and my fingers were beginning to go stiff from the cold. My knocking turned into banging as my patients grew thin due to the weather treating me poorly.
Josh- Mason .... Mason ....Mason please
I was about to knock again when from the corner of my eye I saw Mason and his dad coming up the stairs and heading my way. I didn't have anywhere to go or hide so I stood still hoping they had not heard me yelling and banging on Mason's door. I tried to play it cool.
Josh- Mason
Mason- Josh
Josh- what are you doing here
Mason- I live here , you were just calling out for me
Josh- was I , you must have miss heard me , I'm sorry I almost didn't realize you were with your dad
Dean- its always a pleasure Joshua
Josh- oh call me Josh , my parents do
Dean- Mason and I were just coming back from The Hampton
Josh- The Hampton
Dean- yes its where we spend our Christmas together
Josh- that sounds like fun
Dean- I like to think so , but unfortunately the fun has to end eventually, which is why I'm dropping Mason off , it seems like the both of you need to talk so Ill leave him with you
Mason- dad
Dean- Mason doesn't have many friends you know , its nice to see he has one so close to him willing to stand in the cold to see him
Mason - dad
Dean- alright son I'm done, but it is nice to see you again Joshua
Josh- you too
The dean left and Mason obviously was not happy to have me standing at his doorstep. He was unhappy but he kept a half smile until his dad was out of view.
Josh- I'm sorry I didn't mean to..
Mason- You think its so easy don't you
Josh- what
Mason- its not, What if I tell my dad, what if he finds out, he would disown me
Josh- I didn't mean for your dad to see me here
Mason- are you gonna support me , put me through school , let me live with you ? because lets be honest I cant pay for school or my apartment without my dad's help and I already work a job.
Josh- I understand, this isn't how I wanted this to go
Mason- I don't think you understand at all, could you imagine loosing your only family because of something that you cant change about yourself
He was yelling at me like a child pining me up against his door with nothing but his words.
Mason- I love you but my dad is my dad he's all I got and if keeping a secret is the price I have to pay to keep him then how do I not
I was stunned . I understood where he was coming from and in the swirl of the moment I realized what he glossed over .
Josh- you love me
Mason- that's not what you should be focused on
Josh- but you said it , I heard you say it
Mason- Josh
Josh- you love me
Mason- Josh
Josh- I love you too
His grumpy frown and dead set eyes were released and before I could blink he kissed me. It was fast and wild. It happened so quickly so suddenly that I didn't know how to react. My body was frozen from the cold but that kiss was so warm and right, it was perfect. But then he broke it.
Mason- lets go inside
Josh- does this mean we're OK
Mason- we can talk about it inside
He unlocked his door and pulled me inside with him.
Josh- I just want you to know I don't care if you ever come out to anyone I want you
He started taking if his jacket and I did too , I thought we were going to have make up sex but he stopped at his shirt.
Mason- that's really sweet of you Josh... I was actually thinking maybe... maybe it wouldn't be so bad to try to come out to a few people though
Josh- what , but what about everything you just said outside
Mason- I meant it but only when it comes to my dad , you were right its wrong if me to hide you like I'm ashamed of you
We met on his couch , we were both so cold but when he pulled me into his arms it didn't take long to warm up against his familiar fur.
Mason- I'm sorry for yelling at you
Josh- its alright I'm just glad we're better
Mason- I think this is the first time you've seen me not high though , like at all high for the past three days
Josh- really
Mason- yea, I couldn't smoke around my dad
Josh- so your gonna come out to people
Mason- I want to try
Josh- well you can start small
Mason- how do you start small with telling people I'm gay
Josh- I don't know it just sounded like a good thing to say in my head
Mason- but you were gonna stay with me even if i didn't come out
Josh- yea , i thought about it and its your choice and who am I to tell you something is easy just because it was for me
Mason- how did you come out to your family
Josh- oh my mom and dad caught me watching porn , and I told the rest of my family three days ago and you can probably see it online by now
Mason- that's crazy
Josh - not as crazy as those viral videos of you
Mason- what videos
Josh- the ones of you walking around campus drunk or high last week
He let me go and put space between us on the couch.
Mason- there are videos of that
Josh- yea , people have already made them into songs and everything
He stood up from the couch and started pacing back and forth.
Josh- the videos aren't that clear , I only knew it was you in them because I know you
Mason- what if my dad sees them
He took out his phone and turned it on. The second it was on it went crazy with alerts and notifications.
Mason- Josh did you call me a hundred and twenty seven times
Josh- yea , are you just now checking your phone
Mason- yea my dad makes me turn it off when we're together, but this is kinda crazy
Josh- you wouldn't pick up and I really wanted to fix things
He smiled and laughed a little as he sat back down beside me pulling me close again that time basically having me in his lap.
Mason- that means a lot
I smiled so widely as my mouth spoke before my mind could stop it.
Josh- are we gonna have make up sex
I didn't know it then but I felt it, I found something real. Brad would still come to be a problem in the future. Mason had to deal with being a viral video. My parents had yet to meet Mason . Mason and I were still getting to know one another. We were far from a perfect position but we stood or should I say sat on the same couch. And I suppose that's when the story of Mason and Josh started and this story ends, and to most it may seem anticlimactic. Some probably think the only story worth telling is the one with drama falling out the back end or life threatening realizations. In reality this story wasn't about much if you only take it for face value, but if you look deeper into all that took place you'll see that there was more going on than what was on the surface. Even just on the surface I still started a new life in college, got past my preconceived notions about furs , and freed myself from a destructive and one sided friendship. Most importantly I found a real love and we managed to work through our first conflict and stay together so we could grow closer and stronger together.
(For more you can read my other stories that are in the same universe which include "New life" and "Bristol Lion" or you can wait for the next story which is part two to this one "M&J". In the mean time I hope you have enjoyed and will continue to enjoy my stories and know that there are many more to come.)