FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

It wasn't his parents, his sister, or even himself who first noticed that Wires wasn't doing well. He was sitting quietly at his computer panting and sweating when he felt rather than saw a head looming over the wall. It was his boss, who peered over into his cubicle with her dewy heavily-lashed eyes. She chewed her cud in the same weirdly distant way every cow he'd ever met seemed to have, but she spoke with laser focu

"Wires," she said "I talked it over with HR and I think it might be in your best interest to take a leave of absence."

"Why?" he asked, strangely aware of the dumbfounded look on his face. His boss sighed, and made her way into the entrance to his cubicle, blocking off the door. It was a habit which had always made Wires uncomfortable. Usually she simply summoned employees to her office, but for him she seemed to have made some sort of exception. He could hear the shuffling of chairs as his coworkers jostled in their own cubicles to get a better look or listen.

"Your performance has been sorely lacking lately, Wires. You've been late, your code has been sloppy, some of your coworkers have been saying you're napping at your desk." she swallowed the cud noisily, staring off into the distance. "Now, I understand that you might be having some troubles at home, but work isn't the place to bring them."

"I don't think I need to go on leave, I just haven't been sleeping well."

"How is your sister, Wires?"

He slowly, one by one, started pulling off the little jelly caps he was required to wear over his claws to keep him from scratching the keyboard.

"Now, I'll still need you to fill out the LOA forms. I'll have you pick them up from Different on the way out."

"Okay, sure."

Wires slowly rose from his desk, gathering his pack as he prepared to leave.

"Don't pack up just yet, I'm still going to have you complete your shift today."

With a heavy sigh, Wires started squeezing his claw caps back on.

The atmosphere at home was no lighter. When he opened the front door, Pika was standing in front of him, completely expressionless. Her jacket was on and her backpack and sleeping bag were packed. She had a single key sitting in her palm. It was impossible to take it from her without brushing his pads against hers.

"My tooth-- "Take your fucking tooth!" he feinted at her, taking a step forward. There was a hint of a flinch, but she didn't move until he took it from his pocket and handed it to her.

"Wires, I was wrong about you. You're not a good person. I want you to know that."

"You want me to know a lot of shit, lately." She nodded, and pushed past him, down the stairs and off into the cold.

Inside, he noticed the backpack he'd bought Pika sitting empty on the floor. Wires dropped to one knee and summoned Kiesha. With a mew, the kitten popped out from under the couch. She lovingly nuzzled against the pad of his palm, then vomited all over his fingers.

When Wires opened the cabinet, he discovered that Pika had stolen a good portion of his food. He made himself an egg sandwich and flopped on the couch to eat it. As he reached for the remote, his foot brushed against a small baggie. He ripped open the bag of powder and gave it a cursory sniff. It was silica.

---

Wires went to the Minute Clinic for a doctor's note, then stopped by the Duane Read on the way home for some supplies. He spent the evening cleaning his apartment. The couch was the first thing. Lint rollers, Febreeze, a handheld vacuum. White fur, black fur, his own sandy tan. The floors were swept and mopped, he bleached the bathroom until the grout was an acceptable beige color. The scouring continued for the next few days. The bedsheets were replaced for the first time in three months, the fridge was washed. No matter how many times he went over the place with the lint roller, it seemed like he was always finding one of Pika's hairs. It wasn't easy to tell them apart from one of Keisha's at first, but he soon learned to recognize the fray of neglect. Once he found a full clump in the corner, next to the coat rack. He picked it up and sniffed it hesitantly. It still smelled like fear.

When the house was spotless, and the smell of bleach impregnated his fur, he peeled the gloves off of his hands. He made himself macaroni and sat on the couch, eating it as he allowed Keisha to steal bits of pasta. It was eerily quiet. Without Pika, the house seemed much bigger, as if her absence had opened up a huge hole. Uneasy, he turned on the TV. The smooth voices of the newscasters usually felt relaxing, but today the voices just washed around him, providing no comfort. He turned on his side, but found himself unable to sleep. Normally, he would go to the bookstore about now. He would drink a hot chocolate and listen to stories about places and people he'd almost forgotten, and watch Pika lovingly twirl her ring.

He was already feeling feverish, but staying at home hadn't helped, and no matter where he tried to nap, he was plagued by the fast-paced cackling nightmares of the weasel woman calling out to him. He checked his phone for the time. It was only 4 o'clock. Without really thinking, he grabbed his keys and headed for the bus station. By the time he arrived in Boerum Hill, he only felt warmer.

Wires was so sick that he almost thought he was mistaken when he saw Pika walking down Court Street as he made his way to the Barnes&Noble. She was moving down the street at an even clip, her knees bending smoothly. She was even wearing the same worn hoodie, but the tufts of fur coming out of it were a faded lavender instead of white. Her tail had even filled out, looking almost wolfish.

"Pika!" he called, and she stopped in her tracks. He could already see the soft rise of her hoodie as the fur under it stood end.

"Uh...how are you? Where have you been staying?"

"With Bravo. He just got this place he's squatting in. He's been there for thirty days, so it's going to be pretty hard for the landlord to evict us when they find out." she replied, her tail lashing. He took a step closer to her, and she didn't move away, chancing a quick sniff at him.

"Oh."

"I'm saving to go back to Japan. I got a job doing dishes up in that place down in Carroll Gardens, the one right across from the good pizza place."

"Near the crappy theatre?"

"Cobblestone, yeah. Between that and the church."

"Fuck, Pika. What are you doing with your life?"

"I don't know, Wires. Do you?"

Wires shook his head. He had no idea what he was doing in the next few days. The Minute Clinic had given him a clean bill of health, so he'd gone to the free clinic instead. After that, he visited his regular doctor, who took some blood and idly patted him on the shoulder. He was running out of funds and would need to go back to work soon before he could no longer make rent.

"Can I help you in any way?"

"I think I've had enough of your help."

"Just let me buy you a coffee." he said, reaching out to her. She snatched her hand away.

"I can buy my own."

"I just thought you might want to talk."

"What is there to say?"

"Well...I'm sorry."

"What?" "I'm sorry."

"...I don't understand." "I didn't treat you well, and I'm apologizing for it." "Yes, I get that, but what do you want? What else can you want from me?"

"I want to make things right."

Pika snorted, and shook her head, her ears flipping back.

"Go the fuck home, Wires."

"I'd like to...but I can't sleep. It's so hot."

Pika glanced at him quizzically. The weather wasn't warm, and he wasn't wearing a jacket of any sort. She sniffed at him, and her face set into a grimace.

"You have a fever."

"I don't temp for one."

"I'm not surprised. You smell...off. When you followed my, past that sphinx, did you met anyone?"

"A girl with white fur and one with brown fur and a sickle."

"Did the girl with white fur cut you?"

"The weasel?"

"She's not just a weasel. Just like I'm not a fox. Look, I think I can fix this. Just let me take you to Bravo's house."

"I can't believe you're back with Bravo."

"You can believe whatever you want, Wires, but after this, don't ask me for shit."

---

Wires wasn't sure what he'd expected. A ring of salt, a bunch of silver charms or a necklace or a fucking grimoire. Instead, Pika sat in front of him with a calendar and a jumbo-sized KFC bucket.

They were in what he presumed to be her house, a surprisingly nice walk-up duplex that might have been build a few decades after the surrounding brownstones. The shape was about right, but the banister was too new, the bricks not quite the right size or color. The basement was not only finished but fully furnished via yard sale.

"Sit." she commanded, and he sat cross-legged on the floor in front of her. She picked up the marker and carefully started drawing something on his forehead. She began ripping the calendar up bit by bit, and collected the shards in the KFC bucket. When all that remained in her hands was a simple scrap of paper, she pinched it between two fingers.

"Something's shining inside of me." A single spark jumped from her forefingers and set the paper scraps on fire. The flame burned an unnatural green between her digits, and she dropped it unceremoniously into the bucket. A roaring pillar of flame burst forth, green sparks sputtering around it. Wires almost leaped back, but Pika grabbed his wrist.

"You can't be afraid of it."

She sat eerily close to the fire, leaning so close that it seemed as if sparks could fly up and devour her whiskers. She whispered into the flame, her lips barely moving as she stared intently into the KFC bucket. The flame grew brighter, flickering and all-consuming, and Pika suddenly thrust a hand into it. The hoodie started to burn around her arm, and Wires could smell the harsh plastic odor of burning fur. She removed her fist, wisps of green flame dancing between her ash-stained fingers. She shook opened her palm, revealing a tiny wisp of flame hovering above her pink palm. Both the flame and her hand seemed so delicate.

"Something's shining inside of me." she whispered again. Sparks suddenly started dancing in her palm, encircling the green flame until it expanded to engulf her whole hand. The hoodie was mostly burned away, and the smell of burning hair was pervasive, despite the fact that Pika's hand seemed untouched. "Tell me who talks to him at night."

Wires suddenly felt warm and leaden. He slumped forward, only for Pika to let go of his wrist to steady his shoulder to keep him from falling into the bucket. He felt sweat bubbling up from his pores, soaking his fur, dripping down his neck, down his nose and into the bucket where it sizzled. His cheek exploded in pain, but he could hardly manage a moan. He could feel the blood dripping into the ruff of his neck, mixing with the sweat. His panting was quick and frantic. He used the last of his strength to look up into Pika's face and instantly regretted it. She looked confused and nervous, the flame only highlighting uneasiness in her expression.

He tried to speak, but only a gurgle came out, even his tongue felt limp. Pika shook her head, trying to dispel some of the uneasiness. She gently tilted Wires face toward hers and pressed the flame into his cheek. Wires closed his eyes. The flame was pleasantly cool against his face. He could feel it spreading, entering him and washing away the fever. The cooling sensation worked its way through his head down his shoulders and chest to his hips and legs before gently working its way out of his tail and toes. He sighed heavily in relief, leaning back to hold himself. He hadn't felt better in weeks.

Pika removed her hand from his face, so Wires could inspect his cheek. Some of the fur was singed, but he barely even noticed. The would on his cheek had healed over without even a trace of a scar.

"I can't believe I was worried about your dumb ass." said Pika, getting up to dust herself off. She aimed a single pointed kick at the bucket. The fire died instantly.

"Keep worrying about me."

"Why? You don't care about me. I don't know why you pretended for so long."

"I do care."

"Yeah, right."

"I used to get out of work and look for you. I would walk up and down Court and Atlantic for an hour, because you don't have a phone. I wanted to see you. I wanted to talk to you." he reached out for her hand again and gripped it tightly. This time she didn't pull away.

"Because of Tokui."

"No, because of you."