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Chapter 14 Oliver PoV

Oliver held his stomach as it gurgled, while on the phone with the on-call nurse at Swedish. Pence said, "well I was able to review your file and the numbers were good but on the low side."

"So you think I'm having the gut issue because of it," He asked.

"We won't know until we test you, if there is a dip in the numbers it might be it. Can you come in for labs in the morning," Pence asked.

"Yeah I'll email work after the call," He said, "I still have the meds from before, I wasn't ready to start taking them."

"Are you ready now," Pence asked.

He scratched his chin then said, "Yeah I mean, it's time one way or another."

"Ok well you can start after labs tomorrow we want an accurate picture," Pence said, then asked, "so have you picked a time to take them, it's a one a day treatment?"

"Oh yeah I think before beds the easiest," He said.

"Ok well will see you in the morning for labs just swing on in, I'll have the lab tickets all prepped for you," Pence said.

"Thanks I'll see you then," He said then stood as he ended the call.

I don't have an appetite but I should eat, I'll just order pizza. He flipped the take-out menu Shelly gave him over, well Terrier-Yaki does delivery.

Paul's number rang on his phone. He answered, "How are you puss."

"I'm fine boots... I just saw Sean and he looks horrible," Paul said, "do you know if he's ok?"

"Not really, he tried telling his sister something really 'personal.' It didn't go over very well," He said his stomach reeling, "plus, he thinks Xander's done with him as a friend."

"I think Xander just needs time," Paul said, "he said he would talk to Sean tomorrow."

"I'll message Sean and see how he's doing," he said, "could I talk to Xander, or get his number?"

"You want to talk about that personal thing," Paul asked.

"Yeah, if that's ok," he said.

"Cool I'll send it to you," Paul said, "are you ok you sound funny?"

"Oh I'm peachy, just nauseous, I'm coming down with something," He lied, Got this a long time ago.

"Oh no, I'll make you some crockpot soup if you like," Paul said.

"That's thoughtful of you, but I'm going to call Xander then hit the hay," He said, he heard cars driving passed on the other end of the line.

"Ok well I still might make the soup," Paul said.

"Where are you," He asked.

"About to walk to my car from Sean's place." Paul said, "I think someone needs to talk to him."

"Well you told me that," He said, "is there more to it?"

"Kind of he's on a balcony, and I don't know," Paul said.

"Like he's depressed or something, not sure what you mean," He asked.

"No, it's not like a 'he's going to jump' thing or anything, he just looked at me weird, got me on edge," Paul said, "kinda a mix of prey and predator instinct."

"Okay, I'll text him while I talk to Xander," He said.

"He kind of looked like the crash survivors my mom showed me," Paul said.

"I can't say I've ever seen that look," He said, and clenched his teeth as his stomach gurgled painfully.

"Lucky, anyway, he looks like a grieving guy in shock," Paul said.

"I'll call him right after I talk to Xander, one sec," He said then ran to the bathroom. He emptied himself till lights danced in his eyes, then rinsed his rear fur in the shower and went back to his phone.

"Paul you there," He asked.

"Yeah I'm here, I'm bringing you a soup dinner and don't argue," Paul said.

He chuckled, "fine, but don't mind the smell."

"I'll bring a nose cover," Paul said.

"You own one, kinky," He teased.

"It's for kitchen odors, why would that be kinky," Paul asked.

"Auto... erot-, never mind," He said bloodless muzzle trying to flush, "I'll call Xander talk to you soon."

He ended the call, and pulled up Xander's number in Paul's message then dialed.

A new message dropped down in the notification bar, "you're the Kinky one, Auto erotic asphyxiation?!"

"Oh please, mister self-proclaimed power kitten," He replied.

"Xander speaking."

"Hey Xander, Oliver here, Paul called, he's worried about Sean," The line remained silent, but for faint breathing, so he continued. "He told Sharron about being raped, she blamed it on the gay community and left."

"I see... was that why he was calling and texting," Xander asked, "wanting a friend like always."

"No, he wanted to apologize, he realized he hadn't treated you right, I don't think he knew he was leading you on. Then Sharron came over and he told her," He said, then muted the phone to sit on the toilet again.

He barely heard Xander over his ablutions.

"I shouldn't have been so mad, he went out of his way to be around you," Xander said, "that won't work, I don't know what it was, I'll call him."

He unmuted the phone, "good man, that'll make him feel better, but I think it will help you too."

"We'll see, thanks for calling, Paul says the four of us should get coffee, but maybe it should just be the three of us," Xander said.

"If by three of us, you mean with Sean and Paul that's fine, I'm kinda under the weather at the moment," He said then muted the phone again.

"I'm sorry man being sick sucks, yeah let's do the four of us for coffee or dinner," Xander said.

"Sounds great," He said, "how about Wednesday night if we do dinner."

"Hello are you still there," Xander said.

He bristled then said, "Sorry about that, the phone still muted, I like the dinner idea."

"Why was the phone muted," Xander asked.

"Like I said I'm not feeling well... so I don't want you to hear how I'm feeling," He said.

"Oh, stomach flu," Xander asked.

"Something like that," He said.

"Oh well, Paul's bringing you soup, are you thinking your very contagious," Xander asked.

"Yes but Paul shouldn't be able to get it just being around me," He said, I'm such a liar.

Xander paused for a moment, "I guess I don't know the feline immune system very well, I should by now but I don't."

"Why is that," He asked.

Xander didn't answer.

"Well anyway, who does," He said to laugh off the pause.

"I hope you get better soon," Xander said, "Thanks for calling you're a nice guy."

"Thanks, and from what a hear, Paul and Sean think the same about you," He said and imagined he could smell Xander's blush through the phone.

They ended the call, He didn't want to rinse off in the shower again but the necessity tickled his nose, and to put up some air fresheners and open the window.

He sighed and when about getting his place ready for a guest. His stomach gurgled, That bastard took everyone from me. Sean's allergic... the only one who understands, Prime is this punishment.

"I'm being a coward about this, who do you have left to leave you anyway," He said then sat on the couch, Just a blue eyed angel, the smell of disinfectant and febreze filled the whole apartment.

He got on Muzzlebook, Sean invited him to dinner tomorrow night at a boat house restaurant on the sound a ten-minute drive northwest of the hill. He accepted the request. Prime I wish I could be with him.

"If not physically at least a bit of me can be happy," He said while he reviewed the menu. His head lulled as he scrolled through the drinks.

He jerked awake when someone opened his door, "Boots are you dressed?"

He got up but the room spun around making him veer into the wall heading to the door.

Paul stood with insulated crockpot bag, Paul said, "Boots why didn't you answer your phone?"

"Sorry Puss, I fell asleep," He said.

"Wow, How can you sleep with the place smelling like this," Paul asked as he nearly dropped the crock pot to cover his nose.

"Sorry, I told you I was sick," He said, his muzzle too drained of blood to flush.

"Well, it was just a shock, take this," Paul said, then handed him the crock pot bag. Paul then grabbed a catering cart handle to the side of the door.

"Wait you made more than one," He asked.

"You're a big old tiger and you eat a lot, so you need variety and that one you got there is steamed rice and vegetables," Paul said then pushed passed him in a bee lining for the kitchen.

"You didn't have to Paul," He said.

"So, I'm only Puss when you're not flustered," Paul said then found plugs for his assorted kitchen appliances.

"No, I just never expected you to do this much," He said, if I tell him he'll leave me, but I need too... or I should, "I was thinking a bowl or thermos of soup."

"The Calicode, you know 'protect what's yours.' Oliver you're... It's hard to say, being a cat and all," Paul said, "But, next to Jill you're my best friend. I-I love that you don't care that I'm bossy, most people don't like that in a little guy."

His muzzle finally succeeded at flushing, he said, "You're nice and selling yourself short."

"Short yes that's the issue, but inaccurate, no," Paul said then folded the empty crock pot bag.

"I can't argue if that's how you feel," He said, "But you're wrong, why couldn't Xander or I care for you? Even Sean's going to like you."

"Come on, I'm a place holder till Xander and Sean figure each other out," Paul said.

"Don't think like that," He said bodily picking Paul up in a hug.

"Put me down you big brute," Paul yowled, while only half-heartedly struggling.

He licked the top of Paul's head, "You are loved and you are liked," He said.

"Licked and now I'm going to get sick," Paul said and went boneless.

He laughed as he couldn't hold Paul anymore, "Fine, but you can't get sick from a lick."

Paul looked up at him in confusion, "What kinda stomach bug is it?"

"It's not a stomach bug," He said, "contagious but not like the flu."

Paul's confused eyes tore at him, Just tell him he deserves to know why you'd never kiss him. Paul said, "Is it cancer, are you having chemo?"

He laughed in surprise, "No, it's not cancer. I told you it's contagious."

Paul's worried and confused scent lingered.

"It's not the flu and it's not contagious from a lick on the head," he said.

"Is it something dangerous," Paul said, "why don't you want to tell me."

"I-I couldn't, everyone I've told has left and won't talk to me," he said, dizzy sparks dancing in his eyes.

"Why would they leave, why would I leave," Paul asked, "Come on Boots."

"Promise you won't leave," he asked.

"Yeah I'm not throwing three years away," Paul said.

Others threw away a lifetime, his paws shook, "I have F.I.V." He closed his eyes listening for the door.

"Oh, so are you on meds," Paul asked, "why not tell me before?"

"Because only my doctor knows," He said, "Well, my old friends you met at Purr but they left."

"So it's never been my size," Paul asked.

"No, you're fine as you are, I'm not treated," He said, "but I'm starting treatment tomorrow."

"I'm glad you finally told me," Paul said latching on to him like a purring but cute little tick. Paul squeezed tighter while he purred a storm but the pressure set his stomach off. He tore Paul from himself and ran to the bathroom, then slammed the door behind him.

He emptied himself into the toilet again, Where is it coming from? I'm empty already damn it.

"Are you ok," Paul asked.

"Fine just embarrassed," He said.

"Are you hungry," Paul said rough voiced.

"Yes, but so nauseous," He said then rinsed off again.

When he left the bathroom, a plate with the vegetable mixed rice, and a bowl of soup for each of them sat at the table. He could smell Paul's tears.

"What's wrong Paul," He asked.

"I feel like everyone, I love I don't get to keep," Paul said, "Xander is probably temporary and I just learned why I can't be with you."

He flushed, "You're not alone, I feel like I can't have you or Sean, both because of health issues."

"Life isn't fair," Paul said, "wait this isn't from him, is it?"

"From Sean? No the allergy didn't let us get that far," He said.

"No, I mean the barbdick," Paul said.

"Yeah, Rhinos can be carriers," He said then sat at his place Paul set for him.

Paul took his paw, "that's why you can't forget and you won't forgive."

"Yeah, life isn't fair."

"If you told me," Paul said, "I'd have gotten on Prep."

"Prep, you can't take medicine like that for me," he said.

"I'm not a fucking witness," Paul said, "I'd do it in a heartbeat."

"Will you, you're seeing Xander," he asked.

"I guess, I think he's Sean's," Paul said squeezing his paw.

"Ouch, watch the claws please," he said.

"Sorry," Paul said phone buzzing.

"How's Xander," he asked.

"Good we're going to watch a movie tonight," Paul said cleaning up the plates.

"Thanks for being here," he said, "say hi to Xander."

"Ok," Paul squeezed him in another hug then left.

His stomach seemed happy so he lay down.

Chapter 15 Xander PoV

Xander got off the phone with Oliver, his mixed feelings roiled inside him. Sean's messages all soppy rambling messes melted his heart when he read them.

He opened the most recent voicemail, Sean said, "I debated if I should even call you, I mean you haven't read any of my messages which makes me assume you haven't listen to my voicemails. I miss you and I'm sorry. You're family for me I couldn't screw that up more than I nearly did. I didn't realize how much you cared. You're the best part of my day, I'm sorry. I told Sharron about well you know, not much else happened it's like she didn't even hear me. I probably need counseling... I love you."

He listened to the rest of Sean's messages different versions of the same theme.

Sean's voicemail picked up right away so he hung up, Wait it's that dinner tonight... should I go, I already made plans with Paul.

He called again this time leaving a voicemail, "So Uhm, I guess you're busy right now. I'll see you at work tomorrow. I'll talk to you when I see you and I miss you too, I think I was jealous that you liked Oliver, stupid since I went out with Paul. Anyway, call me back tonight if you want too."

He worked on market and demographic penetration models for a while but his work mindset left with the phone calls. He lay in Paul's bed his laptop lay next to him. He and Paul watched a movie on Paul's TV last night which would be good right now. He turned on the TV. He realized the link to Paul's desk top remained open. Paul told Him the command to switch the input through the keyboard, when he punched the buttons and Paul's MuzzleBook opened.

About to close the page when his name came up on the chat history.

"Paul - "I don't think Xander will stick around, I mean, I think he loves someone else."

He scrolled to the top of the conversation thread, between Paul and Paul's best friend Jill.

"Jill - "Hey Puss, how are things going in your never-ending pursuit to find your Boots."

"Paul - "haha, you know I found a Boots I just don't think he will ever be my boots."

"Jill - "I'm sorry :.( you know that I'll always love you"

"Paul - "I love you too, having any luck finding Mr. Right?"

"Jill - "yes and no, but it might only be mister right now, sigh, well there is always creeper on the bus for backup."

"Paul - "yeah that's a no, I call best friend veto on that."

"Jill - "mother Goddess, you are such a kill joy, he only wants to rape me, kill me, then wear my muzzle."

"Paul - "didn't you say the creeper was an elephant? How would that even work?"

"Jill - "he probably has a mouse fetish, loving the size difference and all that."

"Paul - "couldn't that kill you."

"Jill - "so I was joking with this and now I'd like to move on."

"Paul - "fine, so since I already have a Boots for my Puss, =^_^= wow saying that backward sounds so slutty. I think I found a Prince for my charming."

"Jill - "really who is he what's he like?"

"Paul - "it's my newest friend here on MuzzleBook, Xander."

"Jill - "oh that cute black collie?"

"Paul - "yeah I really like him."

"Jill - "He looks part hybrid. Is he?"

"Paul - "I haven't asked, isn't that a sensitive topic you always act like it is."

"Jill - "It is but I mean he looks like he's half chow or lion. He practically has a mane."

"Paul - "He is big in several ways for a Collie, so he could be."

"Jill - "See he probably is then."

"Paul - "Well aren't you miss respectful of people's privacy."

"Jill - "so when will you bring him down to meet me? I can tell from a scent."

"Paul - "I don't think I'll get the chance :( but I'll try, I mean you never know."

"Jill - "Why do you say that?"

"Paul - "I don't think Xander will stick around, I mean, I think he loves someone else."

Paul and Jill sent new messages while he read through.

"Jill - "Oh, so not someone you're going to tell."

"Paul - "I might, I think will be friends if anything, he reminds me of Timmy... It's nice."

"Jill - "You can't put those feelings on him it's not fair."

He felt guilty after he read Jill and Paul's conversation, I should have closed it, but I can't believe Paul feels about me in at least some small way the same as I do about Sean, I can't do that to him.

He heard the front door open, it made him panic, fumbling at the keyboard. He got Netflix open as Paul came in and said, "Hey are you still working?"

"No, I got distracted, what are you up too," He asked.

"I'm going to make us dinner and you got my text about taking soup over to Oliver right, he's kinda sick." Paul said.

"Yeah he didn't sound great on the phone," He said.

"I normally cook by myself but want to hang out while I make everything," Paul asked.

"Sure, I left a voice message for Sean by the way, you and Oliver seemed to want me too," He said.

Paul's ears dropped, "yeah that's great, I'm sure that will make you both happy."

Shit what do I do, or what can I say he's going to know I was on his Muzzle book, "I missed you."

Paul held his arms across himself, then said, "You don't have to help or be here if you don't want to be."

"I want to be here," He said, "why would you think that I don't?"

"Oh nothing, never mind," Paul said.

He followed Paul to the kitchen.

Paul set up a rice cooker, and pulled chicken and turkey bones from the fridge.

"You're making the broth too," He asked.

"For two of them yes, for tonight's dinner we'll have it with pre-made." Paul said.

"So, I know you asked me out because you thought I was cute and all, but why do you keep letting me hang around," He asked.

"I don't know, but I love to cuddle and you seem to enjoy it as much as I do, well I hope you do," Paul said while he diced vegetables.

"I do enjoy cuddling with you and being with you a lot," He said, Who's Timmy? I'm physical with Paul and Emotional with Sean. Can I have both... Is it wrong that I want both? Do I have to choose?

He said, "I'll have too."

"You'll have too, what," Paul asked.

"Sorry, I was distracted, I was thinking about decisions I need to make," He said. His response seemed to discourage Paul.

After they made the food Paul Packaged it in old catering equipment he got from work. He had his portions.

Paul stepped forward to give him a hug good bye. He leaned into Paul nuzzling him, then said, "See you soon Charming let's watch a movie when you get back."

Paul hugged him tighter, What the fuck you idiot, he'll know you read his chats, he hugged back harder.

After Paul left He went back to Paul's room and lay on the bed, he read and reread all of Paul's and Sean's most recent texts. He hated to choose. Later in the night Paul still visited Oliver. He called Sean again but got no answer frustrated he went out for a walk. He texted Paul in case Paul came back while he went out.

Maybe the feelings I have for Sean will grow with Paul, I don't need to choose anything Sean only wants me as a friend anyway.

Chapter 16 Sean PoV

Sean stood on the balcony unhappy with the lame north side view, I should have gone to the other balcony the mountain might have been out. He held his right arm cold from more than the chill outside after talking with Paul. If I told anyone they'd be disgusted what's wrong with me, the door behind him open.

"Guess I win," Samantha said.

"Win what," He asked.

"Oh, mom asked Sharron and I to find you," Samantha said, "I picked the right balcony... your friends are here by the way."

"Nice... do you really think I could get away with being out here a bit longer," he asked.

"Yeah I brought the sampling kit," Samantha said, "We could do that."

"Thanks, it's a blood draw this time, right," he asked.

"Yes could you sit on one of the chairs and put the arm I'll draw from on the table," Samantha asked.

He sat setting his right arm on the table.

Samantha took a razor, fur clips, disinfectant and a syringe out of the kit. Samantha gently shaved his inner elbow joint and clipped the rest of his fur out of her way.

"Sean, are you ok," Samantha asked taking his right paw, "Holy hell Sean, why is your paw so cold?"

"I'm fine just not sleeping well," he said avoiding her eyes.

Samantha took his other paw, "Sleep wouldn't cause a localize difference in blood pressure or vasodilation."

"It's nothing Sam, it's not a medical issue," he said.

"How long has it been happening," Samantha asked sterilizing the shaved patch.

"Ten years," he said.

"Is it from-"

"Drop it Sam I don't want to talk about it," he said.

"Fine, you'll feel a slight pressure," Samantha said.

"Ouch. what the hell," He said.

"Sorry had to find a vein," Samantha said.

"I think when it comes to family you took the hypocritical oath," He said.

She changed the vial, "Just two more. Is your bad sleep from the allergy attack or something else?"

"Probably something else," he said.

"But not something that you'd talk to me about," Samantha asked.

"No."

"Alpha Sean what's with you and keeping everything a secret," Samantha asked, "Does this have something to do with getting an apology from Sharron she's been acting weird too."

"Maybe.

"And," Samantha asked putting a cotton swab and medical tape over the draw point.

"Would talking about past shit make me more or less likely to participate in the trial," he asked.

Samantha packed the samples away, "fine are you coming in now?"

"Not yet, give me ten minutes," He said.

Samantha collected everything grabbed her phone and when into the hallway, "Hey Ana sorry its late."

He listened as best he could with the door closed.

"Yeah I got the sample, did you check on the meds Dr. Hanson recommended," Samantha said,

"Ok, does he believe there could be any psychological impacts?"

"Well that's something I'll have this overnighted," Samantha said, "See you soon."

Great now Sam thinks you're crazy, he covered the shaved patch making it the warmest part of his right arm, fuck you George, I guess I could talk to Neal.

He when back inside after a few minutes.

Dad met him at the door, "Sean your buddy Neal has had half a bottle does he have an alcohol problem?"

"Only around wolves I'll check on him," He said, Damnit Neal I needed to talk.

He pulled Neal aside, "So is see your drinking so you don't get itchy?"

"You know it honey," Neal said draping an unstable arm over him.

"I wished you'd waited," He said.

"Couldn't, and you know why, come on let's play that kinky card game," Neal said.

"Ah no not with my parents," He said, "let's go eat." Alpha why am I alone with everyone here?

The rest of the Friends and family dinner went well, everyone liked Paul's cake. His half-engaged mind, barely participated in the discussion Fred and dad had on gay couple adoptions, he mostly listened to Dad talk about addiction counseling and Fred explained how he overcame his own personal battle. Fred's soon to come legal case with the Pack loomed like an unseen ghost.

As the evening worked its way down mom asked, "Sean you sure you don't need help cleaning up?"

"No I got it," he said.

Later he waved good bye to everyone from the north side public balcony.

He plugged in his phone, Please Please Please, turn on phone, but nothing happened. He got on MuzzleBook from his tablet, noticing Paul was in chat, but Xander and Oliver read offline. He wanted to talk to someone but no one would understand. He saw Oliver had accepted his invite to Rays, which calmed him down some, least tomorrow he'd have someone he could talk too. Then he went to bed.

When he awoke, he went about his normal morning routine till he found his picture next to a Panther in a salmon colored blazer. She said, "With the refusal of services from felines does the city really feel it is right to have this man shaping the changes we want to create for an open and inclusive community. We have reached out both to the city and Mr. Miller for now we will give him the benefit of the doubt, but the validity of this project will be in question till we have answers. Back to you Tom."

His jaw dropped in shock. He search to see if the video was online yet, a post on the channel five's site loaded, probably others were picking up the story by now. His e-mail pinged and refreshed as it's inevitable explosion from work and numerous others washed in, probably other reporters damnit.

He opened Mr. Franks, his boss's e-mail, a request to meet him as soon as he got into the office, His dread grew at the CC line, it had his bosses boss, the mayor, and a name he recognized from the governor's office. He led up the governor's pet project and Seattle was the pilot city.

He wolfed his food down, then debated if he had time to shower. He needed to look his best his job might depend on it. So he washed and brushed his fur as fast as he could.

When he reached his work, he brushed past everyone to get to Mr. Franks office. His knees bounced with anxiety while he waited for Jessi, Mr. Franks Ermine secretary to let him in.

With a broken phone he had only his disorganized thoughts to distract him. Currently they told him a story of jobless societal rejection.

I need to get a new phone, I was going to take care of that this morning till this happened.

"Mr. Miller? Mr. Franks will see you now, go right on in," Jessi said.

She avoided making eye contact with me, shit.

He closed the door behind himself, Mr. Franks was generally a happy old bulldog, but today his anxiousness permeated the room.

"Miller, it's obvious you saw the news story, from your fear," Mr. Franks said, and tapped the desk pointedly with a pen, then asked, "What the fuck is this Miller and why haven't you been answering my calls."

He fumbled at his pocket for his broken phone and said, "I can't get any calls my phone broke I was going to get it fixed this morning but I saw the tail end of the news report and rushed in."

"I see, so why... no, where, I should say is this report that you are prejudiced against cats coming from," Mr. Franks asked.

"I have a severe cat allergy, Friday night I had an allergy attack at my Litterday party, and on the way to the hospital cat bystanders, along with that reporter tried to help, and the first nurse at the ER was a cat too," He said, "I was kind of panicked and not explaining myself... I yelled at them to get away."

"I see, you know, you won't be able to work on the project till this is all cleared up." Mr. Franks said.

"Will you tell everyone, I need to get a phone, then I can call the reporter," He said.

"You can deal with your phone later, use one of the work mobiles, but don't break this one," Mr. franks said grabbing the lock box with the checkout flip phones and their chargers, "I emailed you the reporters contact info, I don't want to see you back in the office till this is resolved."

He setup the flip phone and signed into his e-mail, then got the reporter, Amy Yamamoto's contact information.

He was about to e-mail right there, when Mr. Franks spoke, "I gave you that phone so you can get this taken care of, go... to... the... news... station." Franks had punctuated each of the last words with a rap of his pen on the desk.

"Yes sir," He said then left the office.

I should get directions, but that would mean going to my desk and then people will ask questions, he immediately left for the station.

Getting parked was a pain as the station was in a part of town he didn't know and the little phone had a weak GPS map system.

At the reception desk he asked for Amy Yamamoto.

"And you are," the receptionist asked.

"I'm Sean Miller she did a story about me this morning," He said.

"Have a seat I'm sure she'll be right down, I'll page her," The receptionist said.

He didn't have to wait long till Amy came into the lobby.

She said, "Mr. Miller what a surprise to see you here, I thought you ignored my calls and e-mails."

He stood then he said, "Sadly my phone broke yesterday, I picked up a temporary phone from my boss and came in to talk to you."

"Oh would you like a coffee, my desk isn't very private, and will this visit be on or off, the record," She asked.

"It can be on the record as long as you promise to redact anything horribly personal," He said.

"I won't redact bigotry," She said.

"That shouldn't be a problem I hope," He said, "If I can, I just want to explain my side and why I'm on the Species Equality Project."

"Well right now it doesn't look like you should be, but I'll keep an open mind, this way," She said, and took them through a key card protected door.

The commissary area had a mini Starbucks in it.

"What will you have," she asked.

"I'll have the chocolate Frappuccino," He said.

"Ok, I'd like a Grandi chocolate Frappuccino and caramel macchiato," Amy said to the barista.

"I could have got my own drink," He said as they sat at a nearby empty table.

"Think of it as, your last drink, if you don't convince me you're not a bigot, if you are I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you don't work on an equality project of any kind," Amy said.

He fiddled with his medical tag, and said, "So I guess it all looked bad, but it's a misunderstanding."

"Yeah and what reason would you have to refuse service from felines," Amy asked condescendingly.

He flipped the tag and held it up to her, he said, "I am deathly allergic to cats."

"Amy your drinks are ready," the barista called. He could smell Amy's embarrassment.

"Shit, so you're a bubble pup, then? That kills that story," She asked when she rejoined him.

"I guess, I mean I can be around felines for a little while," He said, "I have a cat coworker."

"So then why were you so angry or aggressive about it," Amy asked.

"I used my EpiPen and it wasn't working, so I was kinda freaked out," he said.

"I see, well there goes my story... that's going to be a black mark," Amy said.

"Well it's not like you did me any favors, you could do an expanded exposé on the issue and do a retraction that could help both of us," He said, then sipped his coffee.

"I'm not a big name here, I'd get the retraction but that's it," Amy said then rolled her cup back and forth between her paws.

"Well, we can find you something, I don't want this to hurt your career any more than I want mine to be hurt," He said.

"Why should you care," She asked.

"Everyone should care about doing good for others, particularly when it cost them nothing, and if I was a bigot I'd want you to investigate me," He said, "well, me right here and now would, but if I was a bigot bigot I probably wouldn't."

"Prime, aren't you a nice little Cub Scout," Amy said, "What do you have in mind?"

"Well this phone is temporary, but I can get you my address if that'll work better," He said, "I don't have a plan but we can think of something my friend is marketing the project he could market it and help with a story I bet."

"If you weren't allergic to me I'd assume that was a proposition," Amy said as she sat back smugly.

He was sure she could practically taste his embarrassment, "sorry I didn't mean it that way, maybe just my e-mail then."

"Both or just the e-mail is fine," Amy said.

"Well, I'd be happy to help you understand the project, my boss told me not to comeback till I 'fix this.' Why don't we work on a story for you," He asked then e-mailed her his address and normal contact details.

"If I get my career going here you're going to have a friend at channel five," Amy said.

He followed her back to her desk.

Chapter 17 Oliver PoV

Oliver slept poorly, waiting for the clock to go off for his doctor appointment, what if I have an opportunistic infection or have moved to stage three FIV. He turned off the alarm before it went off, shivering and sweating out his bed. He showered and reluctantly ate, not wanting any other reason to feel nauseous.

Tia the pigeon he met when he saw Sean sat behind the desk.

He said, "Oliver Cunningham, here to do labs, the on-call nurse last night said he left tickets for me."

"Oh, Tia that was me, I'll take it," Pence said from the back.

"Are you sure, you were about to clock out," she said.

"Yeah, it's no problem, he's a friend of a friend," Pence said then came around the counter and got the door for him.

He greeted the oddly familiar floppy eared dark furred Jack Russel with a brown patched eye.

"So, we've met before," He asked while he followed Pence.

"No, but you and your buddies sat near our table at Purrfection then Neal said you went home with Sean," Pence said with a conspiratorial grin.

"Well, Sean when home with me but it didn't go well," He said.

"You guys didn't hit it off," Pence asked.

"Things went great till I kissed him," He said then stopped while Pence opened the lab door.

"Hey Shelly, I got this one," Pence said then led Him to a seat, "is your tongue horribly barbed or something, I'm mean Sean goes all doe-eyed for cats."

"I'm guessing he never told you he's allergic," He said.

Pence froze while he reached for the vials and a syringe, "no he didn't, he told everyone he had a Catnip Allergy and couldn't handle the smell, and most cats eat enough Catnip that you can just tell, you know."

"Yeah Xander didn't even know about it apparently," He said, then he looked away while Pence found a vein.

"Wow was Xander mad about that," Pence asked.

"I assume so, Xander and Sean had a fight Saturday and I guess that might have been a factor too. I think Xander's feelings for Sean had a- ouch," He said.

"Shit sorry, Xander has feelings for Sean," Pence asked and stabilized the needle again, "I mean, I had no idea, I just thought they had a bromance, being friends forever and all that."

"Yeah Xander's been going out with my friend Paul, but he seems pissed at Sean for not being jealous I think," He said, "I mean why else be angry."

"They have been friends forever, are you sure Xander has those feelings," Pence asked.

"I think so and it seemed his sister Sharron thought so too."

"You met the Ice Alpha herself," Pence said, "She nearly killed Ken with a glare."

"Who's Ken? And she is a bit intense," He said.

"Oh my partner, he's a lab," Pence said, "So have you or were you going to tell Sean about your status."

"I was, if I didn't chicken out, I mean Wolves can't get it or be carriers," He said.

"That's what the evidence assumes but we don't know with certainty," Pence said.

"I haven't really talked about it to anyone, well I did last night and the night before, for the first time," He said, when Pence pulled the needle his head spun.

"Feeling ok," Pence asked.

"Oh the nausea was kinda intense there," He said.

"I see with the symptoms you described, it could be a simple stomach bug, I mean you should be passed the symptom stage," Pence said.

"Even if I'm hitting stage three," He asked then leaned back as the spins continued.

"You might but it's more likely that you're just sick or something like that," Pence said then blotted the puncture point then swabbed his throat.

"I'm always sick now," He said darkly.

"You are but everyone is, and we spend our lives managing all the Bacteria and Viruses, you just need a bit more help than others," Pence said, "the culture and blood test will tell us what's going on."

"If you hadn't been up all night I'd assume you were a morning fur," He said.

"I am but, it's also my weekend now, I have the right to be chipper," Pence said.

"I was hoping to ask you a few things about my meds," He said.

"About interactions? Because I'm not a pharmacist but otherwise I know them fairly well for a dog," Pence said.

"Will there be side effects and do I start tonight or do I start now and again tonight to get it into my system," He asked then sat up with his foggy head clearing.

"Oh no just start tonight with the one pill and take it with food or the side effects might be worse than they would be otherwise," Pence said.

"So there are side effects," He said and rubbed his arm, "I won't lose my fur will I? I read about the medicines from the eighties and nineties that did that."

"I can't say that you couldn't but you shouldn't it's not listed as a side effect, and you'd look good with or without fur." Pence said.

"Thanks and I doubt that," He said, "so what should I expect?"

"Most people have more vivid dreams than normal, some have hot flashes, and nausea if not taken with food. In fact all the symptoms are worse when taken on an empty stomach," Pence said.

"Ok I'll have a snack before bed too," He said, "you know, I haven't had any dreams that I could remember since high school, might be nice."

"These aren't normal dreams, they are generally more intense emotional dreams," Pence said, "like lucid dreaming or a hallucination."

"Here's hoping it's of the massage I had a few weeks ago," He said and stood.

"That's the spirit," Pence said then led him out of the hospital.

When He reached his car, he realized he hadn't called Sean like he said he would.

He dialed Sean's number but reached the voicemail, "Hey Sean I'm looking forward to dinner, I'm going semi-formal, unless you tell me otherwise, it's weird to say it but I miss you, hope to hear from you soon."

He flushed at his words, then he drove to work.

Chapter 18 Xander PoV

Xander awoke with Paul in his arms, faintly purring in his sleep. As he stirred, Paul rolled over then pulled Him into a spine reorienting hug. He grabbed his pillow and pulled it into Paul's hug and slipped away. Paul wrapped his knees and arms tightly around the pillow like his life depended on keeping it. He grabbed his phone and put on a pair of underwear and soft padded his way to the bathroom. Sean hadn't reviewed his message, but he'd see him in an hour or so anyway. He flushed the toilet washed his paws then got something to eat in the kitchen then get ready for the day. While rest of the house slept he made breakfast, ate it and showered. Before leaving to catch the bus for work, He went into Paul's bedroom to whisper good bye, on a whim he crept in and licked Paul's cheek, then whispered, "Sleep well handsome I'll see you soon."

Paul spoke still asleep, "ok honey, I love you too."

He flushed leaving the room, Why would he say that, has he already fallen for me or something... honey and he loves me? But he was sleeping, wasn't he? No, it must be a mistake he thinks I'm only temporary. Shit what should I do?

Confused thoughts about Sean and Paul filled his bus ride to city hall. When he reached City hall the front desk got him a visitor's badge and sent him up too, Mr. Franks office.

The white furred secretary let him in. He said, "Sorry Mr. Franks the bus took longer to get here than I thought it would, where's Sean?"

"It's not a problem, you are our marketing contractor for the project the one Sean recommended, I assume," Mr. Franks asked gruffly.

"Yeah Sean recommended my company and you all got me," He said.

"Well we look forward to your work. So, Sean won't be working with you," Mr. Franks said, "well no, I should say he can't work with you anymore."

He sat back in his seat unable to speak.

"Did you hear me is something the matter," Franks asked.

"Why isn't he working with me?"

"You know what happened?... Well he won't be able to work with you and he'll be handling channel five interactions from now on," Mr. Franks said.

"But several of my strategies need to involve them," He said clenching his paws.

"For now, your strategies won't, Sean needed to work with them so he will. We need you on the other areas of the contract. Anyway, my secretary will show you to the desk workstation we have for you," Mr. Franks said turning back to his computer in a clear dismissal.

He left his seat and the office without a second glance from Mr. Franks.

Franks' secretary rose when he left the office.

"I'm Xander, I didn't catch your name," He asked with a quick masking of his feelings, he extended a paw.

The secretary got a whiff of his confusion and annoyance, the secretary said, "I'm Jessi, I'll show you to the desk, do you have your keycard already?"

"Yeah, I got it at the front desk," He said, he wanted to call Sean or find him, "So why wasn't Sean in this morning?"

They passed into a cubicles area, Jessi said, "well he already left for the new station, and that side door leads to the smoking area if you smoke."

His lip curled, I set everything up with Vivian at channel five, what the fuck Sean, then he glanced at the side door, "I don't smoke," he said.

"You must really hate smoking don't you," She asked then looked away from his expression.

"Something like that," he said, "I may need a drafting table."

"Here's your desk," she said, "unfortunately there aren't any here on the third floor, but on the fifth there are, email me if you need anything else."

After she left, he sat in his thoughts for several minutes, then went out the side door to the vacant smoking area. Sean didn't answer again, he said to the voicemail, "what the hell Sean, you can't work with me now so you're taking a third of the account I was hired for, Goodbye Sean,"

He felt better but still confused after he left the voice mail. If Sean wanted to talk why is he avoiding me now... he just wanted me to submit and call him, so he could be the one to ignore me, Damn him.

He held his angry as he heard voices moving toward him. He flushed with bristled fur and headed back to the door as one of the voices said, "The new system insures that the toilets all flush at the end of the day, you never have to come back after the weekend where something sat-"

He lost the rest of that conversation when the door closed behind him, then he went to his desk, and imagined Sean getting a swirly.

He texted Paul not expecting a reply right away, "Alpha I'm so pissed right now."

Paul replied, "I know it's totally fucked up."

"Wait how did you know about it," He asked, wow he's up early.

"Tanner told me at breakfast, what are you going to do about it," Paul asked.

How would Tanner know, Sean must have texted someone who texted Tanner, what a shiteater, he texted, "well there's not much I can do about it, you know, plus I can't reach him right now, but it is what it is, :( to late I guess."

"That makes sense, but it'll all get figured out I'm sure, anyway, I have work tonight, would you want to come in, we can have dinner together! :)" Paul texted.

"I'd like that, text me the time and I'll be there," He replied.

Sean has to be ignoring me... but he can't ignore work requests. He made a meeting for this afternoon at two thirty pm near the end of Sean's workday and e-mailed it. He got to work changing plans made over the last several weeks, when working extra hours for Sean.

Chapter 19 Sean PoV

Sean worked with Amy on his part of the marketing campaign for the exposé she hoped to do. After clearing it all with his boss, That _'__ ll get Xander's attention, he's going to love this, he'll finally have to talk to me. I'll need a new phone to get a call. I'm not pressed to get anything else done, I could make it to the downtown Carrot Store on the way back to the office_.

When he went into the store he was greeted and directed to the Savant desk. A red fox with a dark tail said, "Welcome to Carrot's Savant Desk I'm Tanner. Wait I recognize you. You're Sean, Xander's friend, right, from the news today... Sorry probably didn't want to be reminded of that, Paul told me that you have a cat allergy, kind of a dumb report? Tough break dude, how can I help you?"

"Yeah, that was annoying... So, I'm here cause my phone broke yesterday," He said, If Paul knows then Xander would... he didn't call. This friend of Paul's smiles a lot.

Is this Tanner guy weird or do I feel it's weird he saw Xander recently and I didn't? He pictured Xander with Paul, then Xander telling him to do things to Paul. His blood drained, No, that's wrong, stop it, what's wrong with you?

"Ah that must have been annoying, so... well, Xander seems nice. He'll treat Paul well, won't he? Paul's had a rough time in the dating world and all that," Tanner said and shifted from paw to paw.

"I assume so, but I've never dated Xander myself," He said, "Well we were best friends." Why did I say were?

"Ah good, well I'll need the phone and your address to get this all started for you or your user ID," Tanner said.

"Shepherds-Catwolf, you need me to sign in," He asked then set his phone on the counter.

"Yeah right here on the tablet, would be great," Tanner said.

Is Xander still using Catwolfs-Shepherd?

"Ok, so how did the phone break," Tanner asked.

"I dropped it," He said while he only half listened.

"Well from your account I can see you're no longer under the warranty, and you aren't set for a reup for a few months," Tanner said, "but we have a few options."

"Ok I hope they don't suck," He said.

"You can buy a new phone, a refurbished one, or get this one refurbished," Tanner said.

He drummed the counter, "I have an alternative phone from work how long would the refurbishment take? It is the cheapest option I assume?"

"About a day or two, if you give me your current number I can call you when it's done, I can even set it up for delivery and you can pick it up at my place... or, Uhm, I can drop it off at yours if you need after hours' pickup or delivery," Tanner said tail wagging while he scratched his opposite elbow.

This guy smells nervous maybe it's cause he know Xander and I have been fighting, "Yeah I like that, how much will it be," He asked confused at why Tanner seemed embarrassed.

"One hundred and forty-nine dollars," Tanner said, then in a rush of words, "but I can put you on the friends and family discount, that would bring it down to one hundred and nineteen dollars and some change."

"You sure that's the cheapest," He asked half as a joke.

"Yeah sadly it is, the screen and the display come as a single unit, plus the issue could be the display and its connection points, but that all gets fixed in the refurb," Tanner said and avoided eye contact.

"Well I guess that will work, you need that new number right," He asked then got out the flip phone to pull up his current number.

"Maybe next time Xander, Paul and you all get a beer I could tag along or something," Tanner asked.

"Well, Paul and I don't really get drinks much," He said, As in never, maybe that's how I'll see Xander, then said, "But sure sounds fun."

Tanner's tail swished from side to side.

After he had everything completed at the store it was well past his lunch. He went to a cafe down the street from city hall. While there he called Samantha, and waited for his Panini.

Samantha answered on the second ring, "Hello Dr. Miller speaking."

"Hey Sam, its Sean, my phone broke so I'm at this number for a few days," He said.

"Oh, well speak of the devil, I just left you a voice message," Samantha said, "I still haven't forgiven you for interfering with my research, but Dr. Hanson's started running your samples and seems excited."

"So am I a candidate," He asked, his phone beeped low battery.

"I said running not ran, Sean, the computer takes a bit," Samantha said.

His food arrived then he asked, "Why were you expecting my call?"

"Because you're you, and I was just telling my coworker you'd call before the end of the day," she said.

He ate, then with a maw full he asked, "What do you think my chances of being able to metabolize it are?"

"If you're going to eat in my ear text me next time, just don't call," she said, "you should be able too but why take something that we can see from labs and tissue samples have no effect on you, will know soon if your body would respond with a change in antibody production in the tissue sample."

"Kay, I'm excited about it," He said and slurped at his ice tea.

"That sounds so gross, have you talked to Xander yet," She asked.

"No but..." he took a gulp, "my phone broke and I haven't seen him today. I needed to go see that reporter, you remember the one from the night of the hospital, she ended up doing a story on me," He said.

"Ok, I can't handle your eating noises, call when you're done and you should forward your voicemail to this phone," Samantha said then she ended the call.

He spent the rest of his meal figuring out how to get his voicemail and texts forwarded, the phone buzzed when he finally succeeded. Sadly, text forwarding still wasn't an option, he ignored the voicemail's since it was probably the one from Samantha anyway. He read his email, he had a calendar invite from Xander. He was already late for it. He ran to the cashier to pay and charged off to his office.

When he reached the office, he checked the location, Xander had schedule it in a fifth-floor meeting room. He took the elevator when he reached the fifth he tracked down the meeting room. Xander wasn't there it was full of people from another department. He panted at the door and croaked out, "Do you know where the black collie that was in here went?"

There was the clammer of plumbing working too hard and a thud sound.

"What was that," the head of the meeting asked.

"Don't know, where did the Collie go," He asked.

"He left," the head said.

"Thanks," He said, then a septic smell filled the floor.

When He reached the elevator and main stair well it dripped with toilet backwash.

"Shit," He yelped and ran for the back stair well. He hoped to outpace the septic sludge before gravity and the buildings slight tilt pulled it to and down the remaining stairs.

His horrible elevator was great practice for this very situation, he took the stairs three at a time recklessly. As he neared the second floor the ooze flowed slowly from that level onto the stairs. Soon it would block the entire landing, He decided to try and leap it while he still ran.

He cried, "Parkour." And leapt for it, making it only two thirds over the seeping puddle with a splash of Seattle's shame all over his slacks.

His shoes squished the rest of the way to the lobby where he found most of the building was emptying out faster than the toilets.

He looked around for Xander, then spotted Jessi.

"Hey Jessi, have you seen Xander," He asked over the commotion.

The mayor's agitation was clear while he spoke with the facilities manager, "what do you mean the system reached an equilibrium."

"What was that Sean," She asked.

"Where's Xander," He asked again.

"The system flushed all at once when we switched it on, rather than staggering like it should have," the facilities manager said.

"I think he went home, he said he needed information on channel five but it wasn't available," she said.

"Thanks Jessi, I'll e-mail him," He said.

"I didn't approve the system knowing this could happen," the mayor yelled.

Someone jostled him as he half listened to the mayor and typed an e-mail to Xander.

"When we installed it I told you we needed to know if we were septic, sewer, or a septic system that then flushes to the sewer," the facilities manager said.

"That assessment would have pushed the project over budget," the mayor said.

"Well we obviously have some kind of septic tank system, the pressure must have equalized between the flushing and the tank and everything went up the drains," the manager said.

"Who puts a septic tank system in a large office complex, in the middle of a damned city," the mayor asked.

"Why do people go on reality tv shows," The manager asked.

"I was being serious you jerk," the mayor said.

"I wasn't... however, I would like to know the answer," the manager said.

Before He could hit send on the message, his phone died. His vision tunneled and everything he heard muted, when he remembered the charger was in his desk on the third floor.

Chapter 20 Oliver PoV

Oliver sat at the restaurants bar a catnip infused vodka in paw. He worried that Sean wouldn't make it, with no messages from him since early Sunday, not one text. He got used to messages appearing every hour at the least. The silence pulled at him like the fear that haunted him since he was first diagnosed that he might die alone. He searched the hosts area, the bottle of his meds rattled in his pocket. He took them out and played with the label now half torn from a day's preoccupation. I could wear this damned bottle like Sean's bracelet, or a collar. It would rattle with every step around my neck like an artificial heart beat, screaming I have the right to live but don't deserve to on each shoulder.

A Puget breeze washed through the bar as the door opened, carrying Sean's damp cedar scent.

He pocketed his meds then stood.

He flushed when Sean's water matted muzzle brightened at their eye contact. He paid his tab as Sean came over.

"How was your day Sean," He asked.

"Shit," Sean laughed.

"Uhm, ok, details," He asked while their waiter led them to their table.

"Well, my phone broke yesterday, I missed Xander for a meeting because of it, oh and then the plumbing system flooded every floor of city hall with septic sludge, hence the shitty day," Sean said.

"Well at least you weren't bored," He said then held the chair out for Sean.

"No, not at all, how was your day," Sean asked then shuffled looking around with an embarrassed scent before he sat in the proffered chair. He scooted Sean in to the table then took his own seat.

"Oh, I visited my doctor this morning, and worked, it was a low-key day," He said, uncertain if he was ready to tell Sean about his health.

"Low-key sounds pretty nice," Sean said, "why the doctor?"

"I've been under the weather for a while," He said.

"Well I don't mind if I get the flu or a cold, it's good to spend time with you," Sean said, then reached for his paw.

"What about your allergy," He asked.

"I can hold your paw and this isn't the paw I eat with anyway, so it's a lower risk, Sean said.

He took Sean's paw, then said, "I missed you today, I kept checking for your texts, I worried."

"Sorry, I have a temporary number, I can put it in your phone," Sean said, "but muzzlebook will be best, the charger for the phone's in the shitty office."

He passed Sean his phone as their waiter came back to the table, she said, "I'm Felicity, anything I can get started for you two today?"

"I'm interested in your scallop salad, and the Dungeness crab for the main dish," Sean said.

"Miss is the catfish good," He asked.

"Oh my gosh, yes, I really love fish but most birds do," Felicity said.

"Well I do too, I'll have a catfish for my main dish, and could I have the hummus platter for an appetizer," He asked.

"You most certainly can, do you want everything all at the same time or appetizers first," Felicity asked.

"The appetizers first would be great," Sean said.

He looked around the restaurant, then said, "I like this place, you have the water view, and great drinks, I assume the food is good-" He paused at Sean's preoccupied expression, "everything ok in there?"

"It's nothing, I was imagining something stupid," Sean said.

"You seemed happy, so it can't be that stupid," He said, then took Sean's paw again.

"Well at this point it could never happen, but I imagined you as a dad, taking kits and pups here, with me," Sean said scented with a flush.

He matched Sean's scent, then asked, "Were they our kits by chance?"

"Yeah, they were, we had two boys and a girl, a tiger, a wolf, and the girl a hybrid," Sean said, "You want kits? I know I do," he asked.

"I do, but I don't know if I'll be able too," He said and thought about his health.

"Adoption or the surrogacy process aren't easy," Sean said.

If something was to happen between us he should know, but nothing can, he said, "Sean I can't have chil-"

Felicity returned to their table, "I am sorry, Uhm..." she said then looked back at the kitchen, "Our chef that makes the crab dish is refusing to cook for you, is there something else our other chef can make you?"

"Why won't they cook for me," Sean asked in surprise.

"He said he reserves the right to refuse service, I got my manager, we couldn't change our chefs mind, I've never seen him act like this," she said.

"That's absolute shit," He said, "Can I go speak with the guy."

"It's ok Oliver, he probably saw the news report, and doesn't know anything other than that, he just sees someone he thinks hates him so he feels it's ok hating me," Sean said.

"But you don't hate cats it's an allergy," He said hackles raised.

"Things aren't fair, and what you want won't help him or me in the long run," Sean said while he gently pulled on the paw he still held.

He growled then sat back down.

"Felicity, can the other chef make us both the catfish," Sean asked.

"Yeah, they normally make it anyway," she said.

"That will be fine, and can you look at my allergy tag and tell the other chef I hold no ill will," Sean said.

"Yeah, I will, I'm really sorry about this," she said then headed back to the kitchen.

"You should have pushed back against that," He said.

"And have it all work out like it did with my sister," Sean asked, "I've thought about that whole thing, how the conversation went over and over, thinking about how I could have made her listen, then I realize I only gave her a yes option, agree with me on my terms or you're not family, you were the one who helped me see it."

"I still don't like it, he shouldn't have done that," He said, relieved that the conversation had moved from his need to talk about his health.

"I can only layout the best cards and see how others react, I like this place and don't want one chef to ruin that for me." Sean said.

"It just makes the meal awkward," He said.

"Talking about awkward, it didn't seem too soon for me to think about pups," Sean asked.

"I... Uhm, maybe, you're changing the subject," He said while his knee rattled the table.

Sean squeezed his paw, then said, "you're quickly becoming my friend, and if I didn't have an allergy, someone I would want to see where things could go."

"Isn't thinking of kits and pups just a tad fast I mean we are on date three and the first two were a hospital visit and family feud, and we can't ever be-be together," He said.

"Oh, I totally agree its way to fast, but it's precisely because we can't be together that I'm ok with thinking like this," Sean said, "I mean we'd need to know so much more about each other... I must sound like a total psycho to you right now."

His nerves relaxed, he said, "yeah, only completely and absolutely."

"I'm not good at dating, I haven't done much, everyone had red flags that freaked me out." Sean said.

"Like asking to bear your pups on the third date," He asked with a quick squeeze of Sean's paw.

"Well, I was embarrassed, and wasn't going to tell you, but you asked," Sean said.

"Don't worry if it weren't for our obstacles I'd be considering a future with you too," He said.

Sean panted in appreciation.

"Hey gentlemen here are the appetizers, anything else, more drinks, there on the house," Felicity said when she returned to the table.

"No more for me thanks I drove," He said.

"I got a retriever, can I have a Long Island," Sean said.

"I'll be right back," Felicity said.

"So, have you and Xander talked, I mean with your phone broken," He asked.

"No but I have a bunch of voicemails to go through," Sean said, "I missed a meeting with him so I don't know if he'll answer."

"I talked to him yesterday," He said, "I told him that you wanted to apologize."

Sean pulled his paw away, making his heart skip, "I'm going to the bathroom, and thank you."

He relaxed, Sean and I could be the ones in that sunset painting but we'd hold paws.

The rest of the meal went by while they chatted and flirted. If only you could come home with me I want to talk and hold you, his nausea was back, Why do I have to feel like crap? They parted ways with a paw shake instead of a hug. He went home and hopped paw to paw waiting for the elevator to reach his floor then he ran to the bathroom.

His paw smelt like Sean he didn't want to wash it but he needed to and rinsed off in the shower. He took out a pill then put the bottle in the bathroom drawer. He held the pill, Prime is this all a punishment for sinning or being gay? All I do now is live a life of more actions I don't want to do. He closed his eyes, Please, please, let this be ok, save me, then he took his new medicine.

He went to the living room which still smelt vaguely of sex and watched TV.

A warm dizziness settled over him, about an episode and a half into the evening, so he stumbled to bed.

His vertigo and nausea his only companions as he fell asleep.

Chapter 21 Xander PoV

Xander's retriever pulled up to Purrfection. He thanked the driver and walked around to the front entry. He didn't see Paul when he got in the door, the restaurant bustled with the dinner rush.

When he got to the host he asked, "Is Paul still here, we're going to have dinner?"

The hostess, a vixen, smirked, "yeah he's back near the kitchen, I thought he was spying on me like I was doing something wrong all evening, he should have told me he had a date."

He spotted Paul peeking around a corner near the busing bins, spying on him. When they made eye contact, Paul disappeared into the kitchen.

He rolled his eyes and said, to the hostess, "cats are weird like that, always thinking they are stealthy when their really obvious."

"Well at least it wasn't me that he was prowling around," she said, "you can go on back."

He weaved his way through the restaurant, Paul was peeking out at him again, when he waved Paul disappeared into the kitchen again.

Annoyed He barged through the doors after Paul. Who was again nowhere to be seen?

"He's in the back," a cook said with a nod of his head to the back of the building.

"Thanks," He said then stalked forward to catch Paul.

He rounded the walk-in refrigerator and found Paul with a set table like those found in the dining room tucked into the corner. Paul stood proudly by the table.

"So, why were you avoiding me, and what's all this," He asked.

"It's the chefs table, and I was making you hunt," Paul said.

"I'm a sheepdog not a hunting dog, I like things staying were they are," He said.

"If you didn't like it why was your tail wagging," Paul asked, then pulled out a chair, "come sit."

Maybe that's my other side, he took the left seat and asked, "Not going to scoot me in?"

"You can do it yourself fat ass," Paul said.

So dumbs not ok but fat is, maybe I should call him out on that, but instead he asked, "So how do we order?"

"We don't, it's the chefs medley, a little of everything," Paul said placing the cloth napkin on his lap.

"I see what you're doing, trying to fatten me up, so only you could want me," He teased.

"Oh, please I am not a feeder... my mom maybe, but making others eats in her culture," Paul said, a server swung by with the first plates.

"So, I assume you don't eat at work like this every day, if your mom made you eat so much, why are you so thin," He asked.

"Why do you have such a big cock, it's one of those mysteries of genetics," Paul said. Which made a line cook near the fridge chuckle.

"Well, it seems we have an audience," He said softly.

"Of course, we do, my inner exhibitionist is totally loving it," Paul said.

"I think mines being shy because these are all people you actually know," He said then took his last bite of the very small glazed pear salad.

"Oh, that's fine, I'm more than enough of an exhibitionist for the two of us, cause I'm in control," Paul said after his last bite, "thanks for coming Xander."

The clanks and flames of the kitchen oddly exotic to him, He asked, "So, do you bring all your dates back here."

There next course arrived. Paul said, "No you're my one and only, the restaurant doesn't do this often."

He took a bite to hide his sudden loss for words.

Paul asked, "So you mentioned in your text earlier that today was frustrating what happened?"

"I had part of my project stolen and a no show for a meeting, but I don't want to talk about it, I just wish to enjoy this amazing meal you set up here," He said then sampled the shrimp ceviche. Is that Paul purring or is it the walkin?

"So Xander I know we have only been going out just a little while, but..."

"What's up," He asked.

"Oh, never mind," Paul said as he absentmindedly shredded his cloth napkin.

"It's ok you can tell me, I won't bite," He said.

"Tell that to my shoulder," Paul said visibly calmer.

"You told me to bite you, and the first one was too soft and the second was too hard, so I won't bite," He said.

"No blacky locks tonight you can aim for the middle and it'll be just right," Paul said.

"I'm not a retriever, Goldie locks was a retriever and a girl," He said.

"What do you have against girls," Paul asked then glanced around the kitchen frowned then hid the shredded napkin.

"Nothing other than they aren't my type," He said.

"So, would you want a daughter or a son," Paul asked.

"Both, but a son first if it worked that way, but not as many pups as my parents had," He said, "so what were you going to ask?"

"Oh, I ah, wanted to know if you wanted kids," Paul asked.

"You ripped up your napkin over that," He asked then finished his Ceviche.

Paul smelt afraid, he stammered, "Its, I... I wanted to talk to you about something but it puts some guys off, I really like you and I want to tell you but after the dessert."

"Sure, but I'll probably be obsessing about it till then," He said as the plates got cleared and replaced. His mouth watered at the smell but his stomach turned in anxiety.

"Paul is this beef," He asked in shock.

"It's a beef substitute, it's all furmane foods," Paul said.

"It smells just like it," He said.

Paul's mouth dropped, "where did you smell beef, I mean real beef, that's murder," Paul said.

"I visited family and my great grandpa had frozen beef from before prey rights were passed," He said, "It's a meal I regret ever having."

"Wow, I was hoping to shock you but... wow," Paul said, "I almost don't want to know how it tastes to you know."

"I don't know if I should eat it," He said.

"I thought all the meat from back then was collected and destroyed," Paul said meal forgotten.

"My family, well my great grandparents were in the BBB," He said, "over in north Idaho."

"Wow so your parents left the Breed," Paul asked.

"My grandpa and grandma did and moved west, they wanted grandpa to divorce grandma when they found out she's a hybrid." He said, "It's why I'm big for a Collie, everyone in the families bigger."

"So, what is your hybrid mix, if I can ask," Paul asked.

"I'm part lion, otherwise pure border collie," He said.

"That explains downstairs, it is big for your height, and why you smell so good," Paul said, "So did you see Sean at work?"

"No I think he's avoiding me," He said. "So what is this made of?"

"It's made of Tofu, Clams, whey, and a mix of some fats, well he was probably busy with everything, weren't you worried about him at all," Paul asked.

"Why would I worry about him ignoring me," He asked.

"Because he's been going through some tough shit this week," Paul said.

"Can we just drop it," He said, playing with the mini carrots on the plate.

"Ok we can..." Paul said then shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "So are you going to try it," Paul asked.

"Sure, I think I will," He said.

"Good cause I love this dish," Paul said then ate happily.

He stirred the sauce and mashed potatoes onto faux tartar then cut a bite. It tasted like something trying to be beef, it was still great but to him it tasted like guilt and shame.

"What do you think," Paul asked his portion half gone.

"It tastes good, but not the same, the textures spot on though," He said.

Paul pushed his plate away, "I assumed the flavor would be the similar part, I won't be able to finish that without thinking of eating a classmate from school."

"So what's next," He asked.

"Ah well the soup, you came early," Paul said.

"But never prematurely," He said.

"No you have excellent stamina," Paul said.

"So this is a five course meal? I think they are generally three or five, right," He asked.

"They are, but this one's a tad out of order," Paul said.

"What should it have been," He asked.

"Well the soup shouldn't come out after the entree, it supposed to be after the amuse," Paul said.

Their plates both only partly eaten got collected and replaced with a French onion soup.

"Well I would never have known," He said, "this was all really sweet." He rose and leaned forward, Paul mirrored him and accepted his kiss. With a camera flash the kitchen erupted in cat calls.

"Get back to work, you eavesdroppers," Paul growled at his staff. But that only earned him laughs while they went back to work chattering away.

"They seem to really like you, and I thought you were an exhibitionist," He teased.

"I guess when it's funny or playful, I get shy with romance and you... you're becoming very special to me I enjoy being with you," Paul said while he played with his tattered napkin again.

"I enjoy being with you too, you're different from Sean but in a good way and the same as him in others," He said.

"I'm like Sean how, he seemed so serious, well or shocked to see me," Paul said then sipped at his soup.

"I wonder why he was like that," He asked, "You're both playful teases, I really like that even when it's driving me crazy."

"He didn't seem like that at all, I smelled fear and something I couldn't identify on him when I brought over the cake," Paul said.

He stirred his half-finished soup, then said, "Well, I'm trying to figure out if I should forgive him or leave him to his fate, he keeps hurting me over and over again."

"I think forgiveness is better, if there isn't malice, and there's remorse," Paul said.

"But if they hurt you again, right after," He asked.

Paul spoke his words slowly with reservation, "Is the love you have for each other and your history worth throwing away over this pain?"

"I don't know, I really don't... so, what did you want to tell me," He asked.

"Oh... well, I guess I forgot," Paul said unconvincingly.

The rest of the meal was stilted till they moved onto other things.

Chapter 22 Oliver PoV

"Daddy why can't I come to bible study," I asked.

"It's a boys bedtime," Daddy said, "we don't have a seat for you Oliver, time to get in bed."

"Will mommy tuck me in," I asked.

"She can't, everyones here and you know church comes first," Daddy said.

I got into my bed, jumping at lightening outside.

"Ok, be a good boy and stay in your room now, there's a storm coming so do as you're told," daddy said.

I sat on the edge of my bed, hoping the storm would be a fast one and I could stay warm under my blankets. I grabbed Wolfy my stuffed animal. He smelt safe and familiar like the woods in the morning dew. The wind pushed on my window slashing it with rain.

Something's wrong with this storm, oh no, the bad man is here, daddy warned me but I couldn't listen, it's outside and wants to get me. I'm safe in here but it'll get in, what do I do? Should I obey daddy or go down stairs, he won't be mad if I go find him, he'll keep me safe.

I struggle to my oddly small paws. Legs shaking, I walk to the door with Wolfy in my arms.

When I reached the door, lightning flashed and thunder shook the house, I should run back to bed, then I saw the single horned darkness at my window.

I screamed, "Daddy he's here, daddy help me."

No one comes, the house sounds empty. The darkness smiles a red grin then turns to mist seeping through the edges of the window. I frantically pull at the door but it won't move, "daddy he's here, daddy where are you?"

I finally got the door open, but the house filled with a misty smoke since daddy left and the lights wouldn't turn on, a silhouette stood half seen in the shadows. It stampeded my door. I slammed the door in the silhouettes single horned muzzle. I turned to run back to my bed but my room was gone. I stood bare paw in a field of gravestones and smoke, there are noxious black flowers that smell of antiseptics scattered all around me like a cage, they have syringe peddles and pill shape seeds. Holding Wolfy tight I stood, breathing in rapid staccatos, in a sea of smoke full of darting forms on the edge of my vision, no matter which way I turned they're always there behind me slightly to one side, and sharp peddles prickled my bare ankles as I turned.

"Daddy, mommy where are you?"

A hollow voice from the darkness said, "they can't hear you, no one can here you, your mine, give up boy."

"No, you're a stranger get away from me," I run to find mommy and daddy. The door to my room looms to the right in the smoke. I run as fast and as hard as I can through it and down the hall.

A harsh laugh follows me down the stairs, "you can't escape me boy, you're mine, I claimed you once I'll do so again."

The house roiled with smoke and I could hardly see where I'm going.

Wolfy wiggles in my paw when he faces the front door but the darting shadows in the smoke are blocking the way, "I can't that way isn't safe, Wolfy." Then I ran to the back door. I threw the back door open only to find a pouncing feral lion is swiping at me.

I run from the open door.

"It's me or the prowling lions seeking to devour you, choose boy," the darkness taunts.

"Daddy where are you, can't you hear me," I fought to pull the front door open.

As I run through the door, a paw lashes out at me from the darkness. It hits Wolfy and lightning flashes, Wolfy and the lion both vanish.

Now completely alone I ran weak and winded. The noxious flowers all line the yards around me. I reach the playground of my church, maybe here will be safe. Friends of mine are playing on the jungle gym, with their parents standing watch. But not my parents they're nowhere to be seen. I try and get everyone's attention but they can't hear me. It's like they can't see me.

Malicious laughter echoes off the walls of the building around the church, mocking me.

"Someone can you help me?"

Everyone's motion freezes, but their eyes find me. I feel relieved till their heads jerk to face me in unnatural positions to their unmoving bodies. Their mouths open issuing the fog like smoke. I run and climb the jungle gym rung by rung as everyone I grew up knowing morphs around me, into the darknesses prowling lions. On the ladder for the monkey bars above the sea of smoke, beneath there's the scrambling and hissing lost to view.

"What happened to you all?" As if Wolfy were still in my paw I feel a tug to the slide on the otherside of the monkey bars.

I swung bar to bar but a lion leapt from the misty smoke its claws sinking into my chest and leg trying to pull me down. It reared back to bite my throat. But a blur of black grey fur collided with the lion, and it fell back into the mist with my wolf protector. A howl, yowl, and growl meet the roars of the lions as a battle rages under my blood streaked legs. I hurt, tears fell freely. I land on the slides platform.

"Wolfy, come with me."

Wolfy yelled, "Run Oliver. ru-"

The lions roar again then there is silence.

"It's useless boy you are mine, why keep running, no one can save you," The darkness boomed shaking the whole jungle gym.

I try making it down the slide but my bloody fur made me stick, I push harder, but the darkness is now at the bottom of the slide waiting for me. I roll off the side, into the misty smoke, falling further than expected. I land with bone jarring force in an underground train station. The mist was gone but I couldn't see far. Overhead there was one flickering incandescent light. I could hear it slowly creaking, that and my rapid heartbeat. The station smells stale and musty, and I hurt everywhere. I slowly get to my paws and look for a way out of the station. I hear a voice a long way down the train tracks, it might be mommy. I shuffle to the end of the platform.

"Mommy is that you," I yell down the tunnel only to hear my own faint echoes.

"It's not your mother boy," the darkness said behind me.

I turn in alarm falling backward onto the tracks. I try to get up to run again, but the darkness said, "No you don't boy time to stay where you are."

The metal tracks change into thorny chains wrapping my arms and legs further opening the clawing from the Lion. I cry tears that only make the darkness smile. The chains have my broken promises and sins dangling from it like a charms bracelet as the thorns hook into my skin.

"Let me go please not again."

"You are mine to do with as I wish," said the rhino visibly aroused, he is coming for me, hopping lightly down onto the tracks.

He is a void that swallows the little light from the bulb above causing it to flicker out.

"Boy I claimed your whole body, but now, I'm here for all that you have left."

"You can't have it, I gave it to another."

"Yes and a foolish choice you've made," He said.

"I'm the primes."

His mocking laugh is like a physical blow, "you have nothing to give the prime, I took your virtue and your promise of purity, you have nothing that the Prime wants anymore."

His legs pressed against my inner thighs.

"Get away from me, Prime help me."

"See, he won't help you," he says inches from my muzzle breath smelling of mother's tears, the darkness opens his mouth and it sounds like daddy slapping mommy when they fought.

"No, please no."

His paw rips through my chest to grip my beating heart.

"Fear stop this," The dark furred wolf who tackled the Lion said from behind me.

Fear laughs and I feel a great pain as he squeezed my heart.

The darkness's red smile gleams at me when he said, "His soul is mine."

Wolfy cried, "NO," light flashed and I awoke while hyperventilating, my heart ached physically.

The dream still worked through my conscious mind, I saw a white robed winged, cat, dog and wolf, standing around me on the platform radiating a warm gold and silver light. They pushed back the darkness who circled me, the light in my mind made tingles and warming shivers run through me.

His arms and legs fell asleep while tangled in the blankets. Pins and needles shot through them his guardian angels floated around him in his mind's eye. He stumble to the bathroom to pee and get a drink of water. After he drank from the tap he saw the rhino in the mirror behind him. It made him jump but the rhino wasn't there when he turned. Worried that he took the wrong dose he got out his meds, the dosage side of the label was torn away, but the side effects wasn't. Hypnagogic Hallucination stood out to him.

Oh, fucking hell, I mean if this is what Pence meant by vivid dreams I'm not sure what to do. He stumbled back to bed his guardian angel Sean, Paul and Xander hovered around him.

"Keep me safe guys I'm going back to sleep," He said his anxious heart beat unsettled.

In his head, they replied, "We will."

"I hope to the Prime I stop hearing things in the morning," He said.

The rest of the fitful sleep he dreamed of his angels as a barrier holding back the darkness.

Chapter 23 Sean PoV

Sean's temporary phone had the most obnoxious ringer, particularly when he couldn't switch it off while in the shower. He growled while rinsing the shampoo off, as fast as he could. "People only call after the shampoos thoroughly rubbed in," He grumbled.

After the ringer stopped the phone vibrated with another voicemail he wouldn't have time to listen too. He finished his shower, shook, then towel dried the rest of the way. Samantha called, he dialed her back.

"Sean you are so bad at answering your phone," Samantha said.

"I was in the shower, what's up," He asked.

"You're a prime candidate, and Anastasia mailed you the meds, instructions, and the journal for you to log how you feel on them. Hold on a sec..." Samantha said, "Anastasia for canids we bring into the trial, we may want to switch the greeting to you're a choice or chosen candidate, some might not like the Prime reference."

He listened tail wagging.

"I know it shouldn't matter, I'm not asking that we change it to an alpha candidate, I just want a good sample without skew or reservations..." Samantha said, "I trust your judgement on any change just thought I'd point it out. Ok sorry Sean."

"It's alright, but what do you mean meds," He asked, "Like a pill that might make my allergies go away?"

"No, these are going to make you miserable with unknown side effects," Samantha said, "but they might, MIGHT make your allergic reactions much more manageable."

"Like I could kiss Oliver," He asked.

"Gross, is sex all you think about or want out of this," Samantha said, "I just don't want you dropping dead, oh did you get a new epi yet?"

"No I haven't my phone breaking was a tad distracting," He said.

"You need to replace that, and maybe get an inhaler, you might only have asthma symptoms, we don't really know," Samantha said.

"How soon after taking it should I see a change," He asked.

"Well side effects might be almost immediate, but most patients reached full load effect after twenty four hours and first benefit at four or five hours," Samantha said, "oh yeah, it's a same day delivery. I'll text you the tracking details."

"Wow that's fast," He said, "actually, why so fast?"

"Every other canid has rejected the medicine at the cell culture level, if we can get the dosaging right with you, we can retest them," Samantha said.

"Oh ok, I'll watch for that text and the package,"

He said.

"Good, got to go, Love you Sean," Samantha said then ended the call.

So I could touch Oliver, no it's only a maybe, no I could do it... fuck I told him I wanted pups with him, Alpha I'm an idiot.

He called the Carrot store and learned that Tanner was driving over to drop his phone off.

He checked the time it was seven forty-six Samantha's call was early, I should never have given her my schedule.

He checked his phone again skimming three texts from an unnamed number. Tanner texted about the phone being ready, asking if he wanted to pick it up, then that Tanner would be right over to drop it off.

He texted Tanner back, "sorry I just got your message, I need to get to work, what's your eta?"

Tanner replied, "I was about to buzz up."

He buzzed him in, and felt weird about Tanner coming up to his place.

He jumped when the nock came at his door.

Tanner stood way too close to the door, "hey, Sean how are you?" I got your phone."

"Thanks..." He said, after a brief silence, "Do you want to come in," He asked then scented Tanners excitement.

Rushing inside Tanner nuzzled his shoulder when passing him.

"Wow, great place you have here," Tanner said speaking way to fast, "so like I said yesterday that news reports kinda fucked up, you doing ok," Tanner bounced with nervous energy.

"I'm doing fine," He said, "I was just getting ready for work."

Tanner drooped, "Oh yeah its morning, I guess, I wasn't thinking I was excited to see you."

"Why's that," He asked.

"Oh, I'm bad with these signals," Tanner said shuffling his paws on the floor, "I assumed you were gay... well, I think you're very handsome, I thought you found me handsome too."

"Signals, I wasn't trying to send any, I'm not really looking right now," He said, Alpha, I don't need this right now, why can't I ever tell when canids like me.

"Shit, I'm sorry," Tanner said, "I flirted yesterday and when you gave me your number and address, I thought it was an invitation."

"No, it was just me answering a question," He said.

"Oh fuck, I'm so sorry, I'm still new to the guy's thing," Tanner said.

"Recently come out," He asked.

"No... well yes, I'm bi and I just rarely explore that side of myself," Tanner said, "when you came into the store, you smelt so good I tried flirting, and I guess imagined something was there."

"It's ok buddy, I was crap at flirting when I first came out," He said, "it led to a really bad experience."

"Kinda like this," Tanner asked.

"Ah no, far worse," He said, Oliver mentioned counseling what would that be like? Hopefully not this weird, "so, I need to get too work."

"Well if you want to get a none date beer, I'll get you one, I ah feel like an idiot right now," Tanner said tail tucked.

"I'd like that," He said.

Tanner rushed in and gave him a hug, then said, "Thanks for being understanding."

The hug lingered a little till He felt Tanners arousal, let alone smelt it.

"Uhm, talk to you later and thanks for dropping off my phone," He said then showed Tanner to the door.

Wow...that was just. Wow... then distracted himself with prepping his temp phone for its return to Mr. Franks. He stopped his voicemail forwarding on the temp phone and closed out his e-mail and forwarded all the texts to his old number, then wiped the phone. When he synced his new phone to his old number, he realized he made a mistake. After he finished all the setup the time stamp off Wi-Fi was nine point thirty-four hours before he'd have his phone working again.

"Damnit, I did that bass-ackwards," He muttered and grabbed his gym bag then dropped his phone in it.

He pinged Oliver on MuzzleBook, "got my new phone but will be messaging on MuzzleBook most of the day. I think your right about seeing someone about you know, things, heading to work."

Chapter 24 Xander PoV

Xander lay in Paul's bed not wanting to go to work and face the awkward and difficult conversation he was sure to have with Sean. He heard the front door slam.

"I'm such a fucking idiot," Tanner yelled up the hall.

"Tell me something I don't know already," Paul said from the kitchen, "what was it this time."

"I don't want to talk about it," Tanner yelled up the stairs.

"If you didn't want sympathy and attention you wouldn't have yelled at a house still full of people," Paul said.

He decided he needed the bathroom more than the bed. He threw back the blankets and rolled from the mattress.

"I never should have delivered the phone personally, damnit why did I go over there," Tanner said as Tanner walked up the stairs to the kitchen.

He sighed loudly when he reached the toilet.

"So what is this new dumb escapade of yours," Paul asked.

"I drove to someone's house because I thought they were interested in well you know, but it was just wishful thinking," Tanner said.

"Oh spit it out, you wanted to hook up," Paul said.

He washed his paws.

"Well I did, Xander's friend, Sean, is so fucking hot," Tanner said.

He forgot everything he was doing to listen.

"Wait, I thought you generally went for girls," Paul asked.

"I do, but I have a thing for canids but mostly wolves of either gender," Tanner said.

"Wait, how did you end up at his place," Paul asked.

"I was dropping off his phone," Tanner said, "well and after you told me about the news story about him, I thought he'd like taking his mind off things."

"So a pity fuck," Paul said, "wait, why did you have his phone, you're not a stalker are you?"

"No, I'm not a stalker Barbdick," Tanner said, "He broke his phone then there was the news thing to top it all off, and it would of been a pity fuck if he chose to have sex with me. I'm hopeless, I totally miss read him."

"Which store were you at yesterday," Paul asked.

"Down town, he came in after talking with the news people on the story they were doing on him," Tanner said.

He yelped, his paws shook with the cold, then he turned off the tap, What Sean's phone is broken. He rushed into the kitchen.

"Wait his phones been dead how long, and what news story," He asked eye to eye with Tanner.

"Uhm it's been..." Tanner said then looked him up and down mostly down, "...wow, Paul good for you."

"Xander, Put on clothes," Paul said muzzlepadding his forehead.

"No, please when did his phone break and what news are you guys talking about," He said while he gripped Tanners collared shirt.

"Monday morning channel five did a story on him," Paul said, "I thought you knew."

"No, No I didn't... fuck, when did his phone break," He asked.

"Saturday, or Sunday, ask him, I don't know, he has his new phone now," Tanner said still looking down.

He ran to Paul's bedroom and got his phone.

"Wow, I think I'm developing a thing for Collies," Tanner said back in the kitchen.

"Back off he's mine, you fucking size queen," Paul said, "go back to girls or something."

He texted Sean, "I just heard about the news thing and the phone, I'm sorry please call me, we need to talk."

He passed the room watching the read receipt hoping Sean would read the text. He grabbed his bus pass and bee lined for the door.

Paul blocked his path, "woah woah woah, where do you think you're going?"

"I need to go to work, I have to find Sean," He said.

"Then shower or at least put clothes on you idiot," Paul said.

He realized he was naked and ran back up the stairs past a smug looking Tanner.

"It's not his fault Paul, all the blood his brain would use to think with is tied to other resources," Tanner said dryly.

"Oh, ha ha, shut up, you're just jealous," He yelled back.

"Not jealous man just thirsty," Tanner said.

"Stop hitting on my boyfriend Tanner," Paul growled, "You're mixing up the signals again."

He hopped and stumbled out the bedroom door trying to get in his other pant leg.

"Take a shower Xander you smell like sex," Paul said.

"Or Hatchet body spray," Tanner said, "So you could go as is."

"Not helping Tanner," Paul growled.

"I don't have time," He said.

"Make time, if not for Sean then do it because it's indecent to smell like that in public," Paul said.

"Decency doesn't seem to be a concern at this point, considering he was just showing off his jibblets and bits," Tanner said.

He threw off the pants he fought to get on, then ran into the bathroom.

"What's your big hurry, you didn't seem in a rush just a bit ago," Paul asked.

"I need to catch Sean before he heads to any meetings or to see clients," He said, while he shivered under the cold shower water.

"Why is that? You still need breakfast," Paul said.

"Breakfast that's what I came home for," Tanner said.

"He might leave and he isn't responding in messenger," He said shampoo in paw.

"Oh ok, I'll make you a plate," Paul said.

"I probably don't-"

"Have time to argue with a guy that can drop you off," Paul said.

"That would make things way easier thank you Paul," He said then slowed down.

"So you thought he ditched you and stole the channel five portion of your account," Paul asked.

"yeah, I left pissed voicemails, I thought he was trying to make me submit so he could rub it in my muzzle," He said.

"Ah, I don't know that guy well but that doesn't seem like him," Tanner said.

"It's not, I'm... I was angry and wasn't thinking," He said, he turned off the shower, shook, then towel dried.

He quickly ate while Paul hovered near by with his keys and a sad expression.

Both remained quiet while they got in the car.

"So I hope this all goes well," Paul said.

"Me too thanks for the ride, I appreciate it and you," He said.

They turned onto East Madison Street.

"So you want to get dinner again," Paul asked softly.

"At the restaurant," He asked his knees bounced with repressed energy.

"Yeah, just nothing fancy this time," Paul said still quiet.

"Gonna tell me why you were shredding that napkin this time," He asked.

Paul bit his lower lip, then said, "I'm afraid too."

"What is so horrible that you can't tell me," He said.

"It's not horrible it's wonderful but how you react could be horrible, and you could be..." Paul said.

"I could be what," He asked.

"I'm not your best friend," Paul said, "I'd be less important to you... I'm looking for my future husband. Are you, or am I just a fuck buddy."

"I like you and want to keep seeing you, why does Sean have to be a problem, and why do things need to be moving faster," He asked then he huffed on the side window and drew a tic-tac-toe board in the fog.

"I don't know why I'm so insecure, I just feel I'm more into you than you are into me," Paul said as they turned onto fourth avenue.

"But I am into you," He said.

"As much as Sean," Paul asked.

He sat, Time with Paul is great but Sean and I have decades, he said, "I care about you and have enjoyed the week with you, but you're comparing a lifetime with a brief time frame."

They pulled in front of city hall, Paul grabbed his paw before he left the car, "so dinners a yes no matter what happens?"

"Yes I'll see you at seven," He said then leaned in with a kiss.

Paul's paw held the place he kissed and Paul smelt afraid, He wished Paul wouldn't worry then went inside.

Chapter 25 Oliver PoV

Oliver's hazy mind hardly acknowledged his alarm clock. But became more and more alert as the dread from his nightmare returned.

He saw Sean's MuzzleBook message when he checked his phone.

He texted back, "chatting here's fine, I hope you slept better than I did, I had a nightmare about, you know, past things. I think I'm going to call in sick."

After he texted Sean, he called his boss he would work from home. Why can't I think, this is horrible, my sleeps messed up from these meds, what were the other side effects?

He called the doctor, getting redirected to the nurse that took him to Sean's room.

"Hey the front desk said you have questions about side effects," Shelly asked.

"Yeah, I had crazy dreams and, ah, the dreams kinda kept going after I woke up," He said.

"Are you having the dreams still now," Shelly asked.

"No but I feel light headed and kinda loopy," He said, "Like I just ran long and hard but without the breathing."

"Well I hope there's breathing going on here," Shelly said, "I'll have to check with the doctor, I know they can be bad at first and on an empty stomach worse."

"Ok, so I should keep taking them," He asked.

"Yeah these side effects are known and not threatening," Shelly said, "well you may not want to drive till they go away."

"Yeah I called in sick," He said.

"Probably for the best, anything else you needed," Shelly asked.

"Oh no thank you, talk to you soon," He said as an end to the call.

His loopy head made the bathroom journey far harder than it had any right to be.

He opened the bathroom drawer and wished he could flush his pills all down the toilet.

He brushed his teeth, then sniffed his shoulder, he smelt the same as always but with an oddly chemical, sterile smell, That's only in your head just calm down, he showered because of the scent more then it being morning.

He looked at the bottle in the still open drawer while he dried off, I never wanted to be this. Prime, why couldn't I have been born to a different family so I wouldn't care?

He went to the kitchen and surfed the web periodically while he made breakfast.

He read Sean's reply on MuzzleBook, "sorry you're not feeling well, I'm swinging by channel five, then the post office, I could pick you up something, if you want lunch?"

He replied, "I have the leftovers from lunch so I'll be fine but thank you, you should probably get work done." He sat down with his food.

"True, I do have work to do, 5.7 hours till I have a working phone again, woot woot! But till it's working I'll be MIA." Sean texted.

He left the conversation at that and read the news till a MuzzleBook came in he ignored it to finish the interesting article he was half way through when he got three more alerts in rapid succession.

Sean texted, "wait you dreamed about it, like all of it again?" Then he texted, "I haven't dreamed about mine in years. Are you ok?" His next message was, "I'll come over, I missed that bit of your first message!" Finally, "ok I'm on my way!"

He got halfway through his reply about being fine and that Sean didn't need to come over when Sean's online indicator switched offline.

Ah, whatever, it'll be good to see him, he deleted his half written message and wrote, "see you soon."

He finished the article on reactionary politics of the food crisis in Africa then cleaned up his breakfast.

He lay on the couch wrapped in a warm blanket and dozed.

Wolfy moved dressed as the Untouchable Rogue from X-Men. He was on a mission stalking the attacker in the night. The Darkness Fear, and another demon Malice had lured Rogue out. He was walking into an ambush. He was being hunted and didn't see it coming. A dark form loomed behind him then-

The front door opened which awoke him.

Wolfy came through the door and down the hall, making his heart race then his blurred eyes resolved Wolfy into Sean.

"You're safe, good I was worried," He said.

"You were worried, I was the worried one, are you ok," Sean asked, grocery bags in paw.

"Why were you worried," He asked in confusion.

"Your dreams, I got us ice cream, and everything else needed to vent," Sean said with a lift of the groceries.

"Oh yeah that..." He said, "it was very personal, and embarrassing."

"I got sweet cream, it's your favorite right," Sean asked.

"How did you know," He asked.

"MuzzleBook stalking, I can't help stalking my biggest crushes," Sean said and scented excited embarrassment.

"You like me that much," He asked, "and isn't my house, well, risky for you?"

"You're worth every risk," Sean said shyly then got some bowls after setting the bags on the kitchen counter.

"I'm not, you probably shouldn't be here," He said.

"In your frail state what are you going to do about it," Sean said while he dished the bowls.

"Wait, how did you get in here anyway," He asked.

"You gave me the garage code," Sean said.

He liked how Sean ignored his protests.

"Soon you do need to go, even if I don't want you too," He said, He thinks I'm sick I have to tell him, "you have work and I don't want you to get sick. Are you feeling ok, you seem worn-down?" You coward.

"No worries I'm here for the bowl at least," Sean said passing one over.

"I think I need more counseling," He said.

"I never got any, I was on my parent's insurance back then, and I was worried they'd find out, now I just don't want to think about it," Sean said.

"You need counseling it helps," He said, "at least for the daylight hours, but I know the insurance concern it's understandable."

"Is a dream like this common," Sean asked.

"No it isn't, well it might be, but this was the first dream I've had in years," He said.

"About it," Sean asked.

"No just dreams period," He said.

"What changed," Sean asked.

"I don't really know," He said, stop lying to him.

"So do you want to talk about the dream, I'm here if you do," Sean said taking a huge spoonful.

"Sure we can," He said and took his own smaller bite, "I dreamed I was back home and a kid again. My parents left me alone for some reason."

"But you weren't a kid when it happened," Sean asked.

"No, I was an adult, if you can call a senior in high school that, but in the dream, I was five I guess," He said.

"With mine, we watched a movie and cuddled for a bit now which is new," Sean said. "When I've been having nightmares about it recently, it's not the same like when it first happened, it's all blended with other things that I hate more now, things to do with-" Sean sneezed then sniffled.

"Eat fast for your health, He teased.

"Yeah I was hoping to last longer, can I take a shower and visit again after work," Sean asked.

"Not like I can stop you, you seem dead set on breaking in here," He said.

"Well there's something precious here that I really want," Sean said then finished his last bite.

"You're so sappy," He said while he hid his muzzle in his bowl.

"Well you make me that way," Sean said, "but I need that shower or I might have an allergy attack."

"Ok, I wish I could hold you," He said, he grabbed Sean's paw as Sean got up from the couch.

"Soon, maybe we can," Sean said as he slipped away.

"What you got me that Lycra suit," He teased.

"No something better," Sean said then grabbed one of the grocery bags and headed into the bathroom.

He settled back into the couch to finish his ice cream, when he remembered his meds. He panicked.

What if Sean finds them? His claws extending and retracting, I should have told him by now, damnit.

He sat in his fears till the shower splashed then he got up.

Chapter 26 Sean PoV

Sean grabbed the grocery bag with his mail and more importantly Samantha's parcel and headed to the bathroom. He needed to get to his channel five appointment soon, but he was glad Oliver was doing fine, if not well. He turned on the sink to hide the sound of opening the parcel. He quickly read the instructions, opened the bottle and swallowed the two pills needed for his body weight. He put two more pills in his wallet in case it worked, and it ended up he'd stay the night. He drank from the tap to make sure the pills went down. He then got in the shower,It would be so hot if I was jacking Oliver off right now. Or I could pin him and claim him whether he wanted it or not. A mix of self-revulsion and excitement built, but the revulsion won. He let his arousal die, Alpha stop thinking like that go get some work done.

The door rattled open, Oliver said, "I brought you a towel I washed recently."

"Thanks, I appreciate it," He said while he needed the water into his fur. He heard his bag rustle. He peeked out from the curtain, Oliver smelt embarrassed, as he set the towel on the counter where his things had been, Oliver had set the bag on the floor.

"So Oliver you said you might get counseling and mentioned I should get some too," He said.

Oliver leaned half seated against the counter and said, "Yeah it helps, it's really hard to open up but it does help."

"I don't want to go alone, would you go with me," He asked when he dipped his muzzle under the water.

Oliver didn't reply.

"It's ok to say no, it's just you know what it's like and I could open up with you there," He said.

"Oh, I was thinking about something else. I have never been to group or couples counseling, and I mean we can't be a couple, but we can go as friends," Oliver said.

He said nothing for a time, then, "I think we might be able to date soon."

"How could we," Oliver asked unhappily.

"It's a surprise, I'll show you tonight, and we'll see if it works," He said then he switched off the water and shook.

"But I can't see how we could," Oliver asked then passed him the towel.

"It's a surprise trust me," He said.

"Ok, if you want to risk it sure," Oliver said.

"You can't keep me out, who else can walk in on you like that," He asked.

"Only Paul, and the land lord," Oliver said.

"So how does the counseling thing work," He asked then stepped out from the curtain.

"Well it-" Oliver said his eyes widened roving over his naked body, then Oliver left the bathroom, he said from the hall, "It's going to take our schedules matching and their having an opening."

"Ok, let's figure out our schedules tonight," He said while he dressed. He collected his bag and found his meds in the drawer, Oliver is such a neat freak, that will probably be our first fight.

"Fine are you sure it's ok," Oliver asked.

"Please trust me," He said as he left the bathroom. Oliver leaned on the wall next to the bathroom. He squeezed Oliver's paw then said, "Talk to you soon, think of what you want for dinner and I'll bring it over."

"Ok, I'll see you soon, but I have a counter full of soups from Paul," Oliver said.

"Well we can have that and more ice cream," He said, I can't wait to kiss him again, he slipped out the door.

If he hurried, he might barely make his meeting at channel five with Amy. His mood gave him a skip to his step, he had a new phone, a date, and work moved forward without any real issues from the news. He parked and walked from the garage to the station.

The receptionist got him a guest pass and sent him upstairs to conference room two. She said, "Amy and her co-reporter Vivian started the meeting earlier with the other representative from city hall."

"Oh... thanks which way to the conference room," He asked.

"Up the stairs and to the left till the wall of windows then turn right and it should be there," she said.

Confused about there being another rep He trotted briskly through the building.

When he found the conference room Amy and Vivian, a petite Snow hare, sat chatting.

"Sorry, I'm late ladies," he said with a glance at the wall clock, he was right on time.

"Oh Sean, I thought you had just sent Xander in your place, he was a great help getting scope and angles set," Amy said then she stood to shake his paw. "Vivian this is Sean he is allergic to cats and not a bigot."

"Great to meet you not a bigot," Vivian said then hopped over to shake his paw.

He bent down, then asked, "Is that how you all are describing me, the not bigot?"

"Oh no, sorry, the office has been teasing me and as a result you for my retraction," Amy said.

"Ah... funny," He said.

"Well, no it probably isn't, Sean I'm the stations debate moderator, we have been having an interesting social media reaction to the story and the retraction, it's my hope to get you to join us for a debate on Prey and Predator's societal responsibility," Vivian said as she rocked from toe to heel, "I was working on the debate with Xander before this whole story piece on you, it actually fits in nicely."

"Wow sounds interesting, who all will participate," He asked.

"Well we are hoping that the main groups commenting in the social media debate, a Mr. Swenson of the Bu Bucks Breed, Kendra Heart of the housing district, and Mrs. Cook a professor of resource management at the UW," Vivian said.

"My phones been dead so I haven't been really all that up on the news, but that's an odd set of backgrounds," He said.

"Well the online presence started with an argument about the morals, but it's been moving to economic issues, resources issues and scarcity." Vivian said.

"I know we can get at least one of them but hopefully all three of them," Amy said then took her seat and indicated He and Vivian should do the same.

"If my boss approves, I'll be there," He said.

"Excellent we picked these three because they represent the three main camps," Vivian said.

"Ah, where people live, how we feed them, and then a real bigot," He asked.

Amy laughed, "No a rural conservative city council men, city government rep, a social services advocate, and business advocate."

"If you don't want your viewers to assume he's a bigot you should probably just introduce him as a city Council member for a rural area," He said embarrassed.

"Vivian was just saying all that to get a rise out of you," Amy said.

He spent much of the rest of his work day discussing directions and moderator topics.