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Presenting Polymer - The Stretchable Skunk © Berserkerb

It was a late afternoon on a Saturday morning. Somewhere within Metro City, a skunk of uncanny power was wreaking havoc upon the unsuspecting populace. Somewhere else within the city, far away from the destruction and mayhem, was another uncanny skunk - but one who was enjoying a much different scene of destruction.

"Yeah! Take that you zombie freaks!" The skunk screamed at the screen of an arcade game. "Boom, headshot! Boom, another headshot!" He yelled without care to the rest of the arcade patrons, enjoying his moment of zombie killing glory.

A large bear came and tapped the skunk's shoulder from behind. "Hey buddy, mind keeping it down? You're annoying my other customers."

The skunk gave the bear a quick glance and a frown. "I'll speak however the hell I want to. It's a free country... And I ain't your buddy." He took careful aim and blasted three zombies off the screen with a single shot. "Oh yeah! I am a zombie killing god!"

Suddenly, the manager grabbed the skunk's shoulders and started pulling him away from the machine. The skunk jerked forward, taking hold of the controls before his character died. The bear continued to drag the skunk away from the machine, or more precisely, drag some of the skunk away. Realizing something was wrong, the bear stopped and took a good look at the unruly customer. His eyes went wide with shock. The skunk's neck and arms were stretching impossibly from his body. His head and paws remained next to the arcade game, and he played it as if nothing had changed. One-by-one, every other fur around the store began to notice the bizarre, stretching skunk.

"Aw man..." The skunk proclaimed as his character's last life was depleted. "Damn it, I was so close to beating it too." His left arm contracted back to normal, and he fished in his pocket for any more change. He found nothing, and harrumphed. Stretching his let paw around his body, he then fished in his right pocket, but still found nothing. "Aw well, guess my game's over." His stretched limbs snapped back into place, and he rubbed his chin while thinking. "Guess I should pick up some money for later..." He glanced around the room, completely ignoring the stunned faces all around him. Spotting the cash register at the front desk, the skunk hopped on over to it. He raised his right paw above his head, and altered its shape into a mallet. He smashed his mallet fist into the register; the machine rang out, and the cash drawer burst open. The skunk quickly helped himself to every bill within the drawer.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing to my register!?" The bear charged at the skunk, arms up and ready to tackle. The skunk turned, and stretch kicked one foot straight at the bear's belly. The foot met with the bear's belly, the force picked him off his feet, and the stretching skunk plowed the ursine into the opposite wall - with the foot still lodged against his belly.

After contracting his foot back, the skunk proclaimed with a cocky smile, "Sorry old man, but you're far out of your league." After stuffing the money into his pockets, he continued. "My name is Polymer, and you all will do well to remember it."

The bear at the other end of the room was coughing up blood and wheezing for air. A few patrons went over to help him, and a few more called for help on their cell phones. Polymer was not about to wait around and deal with cops, and made for the exit. Unbeknownst to the striped skunk, a figure within the arcade had been watching him intently, and was right on his trail.

Polymer pulled the two wads of cash from his pockets. He brought them to his nose and too a whiff. "Ahhh, sweet, sweet money." After checking around for any witnesses, the skunk ducked into a nearby alleyway. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he began to alter the appearance of his body - or more precisely, his clothes. Polymer's clothes were really just his body reshaped to resemble clothes. Normal clothes could not stretch with him, so he decided to make his own using his body. The white shirt and brown pants he seemingly wore shifted into a sleeveless, jean vest, and a pair of jean shorts. He stuffed the money into his new pockets, and walked out of the alley. He took one more look around, and then headed off down the street, a seemingly normal skunk, going on a seemingly normal hike.

From a dark corner, a dark figure lurked and watched. "Yes, you keep thinking your safe, vile creature. I'll get you soon... Very soon."

Polymer continued on his way, walking very nonchalantly, whistling a tune from Phantom of the Opera, and just enjoying feeling his paws on two large wads of cash. He still had a whole day left to kill, but what to do with it?

"Hmm... I could always try robbing a bank, but I don't want to deal with cops today. Perhaps I should do some pick pocketing in the park - or steal jewelry from a store - or maybe..." Suddenly, the skunk heard the god-awful wail of police sirens - and they were getting closer. "Ah shit, there's no way they caught on to me that fast!" Thinking quickly, he looked up at the nearest building and extended his body and legs, climbing higher into the air. As his body reached the roof of the building, he pulled one leg on top, and then pulled the other leg up. He relaxed his body and listened. The police cars flew by his previous position, and kept on driving down the street. Polymer breathed a sigh of relief. "Seems they weren't coming for me after all." He was about to climb down, but his ears caught the sound of something approaching. He looked around the roof, but saw no one. The noise was getting louder, and closer. His eyes went wide and he looked up. Plummeting from the sky, right over him, was something... or was it someone? Whatever it was, it was seconds away from smacking into him, so Polymer did the one thing that made the most sense - he took a step backward.

"~Uuuuuunk - Oof!" The screaming, falling figure smacked down against the hard, cement rooftop. Polymer stared down at the strange... thing. It was shaped like a furson, but the thing was slimy green from head to toe, save for a very fluffy, striped skunk tail. Suddenly, the figure popped up onto his feet - and then promptly waddled around in a dazed stupor.

Polymer extended a paw. "Uh... are you alright?"

The strange, slime green figure stopped in his tracks, jiggled his head back to reality, and spun around. He had the face of a skunk, though the top half was hidden by the same slime green costume as the rest of his body. On the front of his costume was the picture of a meteor oozing slime. He clasped one paw to his hip and pointed at Polymer with the other, a cocky smile on his face. "I am Space Skunk, master of all things gooey! I am here to put an end to your evil reign of arcade robbery! Give up now, or face the awesome slime of..." he put one knuckle to his hip, raised a fist in the air, and stared off into the sky, "Spaaaaace Skuuuuunk!"

Polymer stared at him in disbelief and silence. He blinked a few times, but still said nothing. After a minute of silence he said, "Right... Well, see ya," and spun around and headed for the roof's edge.

Space Skunk shouted, "H-Hey wait!" but Polymer just kept walking. The slimy skunk dashed in front of the unconvinced Polymer, and halted his progress. "Now hold on, you're doing it wrong!"

"What?"

"You're supposed to retort with some witty, evil dialogue, and then I retort back, and then we do some super-powered fighting, and then I defeat you." He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Don't you ever read comics?"

Polymer hid his face with his palm and just shook his head. "Listen slime ball, I've got no time to be messing with someone who wants to play hero..." Polymer morphed his fists into mallets and brought his arms back. "But if you want to fight, then I'll oblige." With spring-like reflexes, his mallet fists swung in unison, smashing the skunk's head to mush. His paws returned to normal, and he sighed, "There, we're done, happy?"

However, Space Skunk's body did not fall limp without his head. Polymer stared, brow raised, as a green slime grew from the skunk's neck, taking the shape of a head. The slime head took on more detail, and a few seconds later looked exactly like the skunk's old head, costume and everything.

"Ha! You think I'll die from a mere head crushing?" He reared back his left arm and yelled, "Feel my slime!" He thrust his arm forward, and a tendril of green slime oozed off of it. The slimy tendril shot for Polymer, but the flexible skunk dodged the attack by bending his torso to the right. Space Skunk whipped a second tendril out from his other arm, and lashed with it. Polymer rolled to the right, and just as he came out of his roll, whipped his right foot out in a sweeping motion. The blow tripped the slime-ridden skunk, putting him on his back.

"As much as I'd love to stay and own you some more, I really need to get going." Polymer turned and ran for the other side of the roof. The moment he reached the edge, he took one, giant step over to the next roof over. Stretching his other leg as well, he continued to run from roof to roof, his legs two stories tall. "Ha, let's see the little slime ball try and follow me now." After traversing about seven or so roofs, Polymer stopped running, returned to normal, and turned around. Unfortunately, the annoying pest was still chasing him... but in a rather disgusting way.

The slime green skunk was using his goo to swing along the taller buildings. Although the idea was ingenious, his method was... disgusting. The slime swing he was using seemed to be coming from his tailhole!

"Okay, that is just disgusting," Polymer exclaimed as he watched Space Skunk stick a new slime wire to a nearby building. The heroic skunk swung forward, released the slime from his tailhole, and came plummeting down upon Polymer yet again. The villainous skunk sighed. "Seriously? This again?" He was about to sidestep, when all of a sudden, Space Skunk's body expanded into a large blob of slime. Polymer barely had time to dodge, and he stretched his body out of the way, just before the mass of goop hit him. Regrettably, he was unable to remove his right leg in time. Space Skunk's body quickly closed around the foot, and reformed back into a humanoid form - with Polymer's foot lodged inside his abdomen.

"Ha ha! I finally caught you, you vile villainous... villain!" Polymer tried to pull his foot free from the slimy insides of Space Skunk's body. "You'll never break free of my grasp. My body was changed forever the day I found that strange meteor. I took the meteor home with me, but to my surprise it was filled with a strange slime - from space. The slime covered my body, altering my body structure to that of the slime itself. I realized that I had been given a gift, and I would use that gift to capture criminals like you, and bring them to a much deserved slimy end!" He came out of his monologue and said, "Now it's time I..." He blinked twice, and realized that he was no longer on the rooftop. He was staring down at the roof, with Polymer below. While he had been busy with his monologue, Space Skunk had not noticed Polymer raising him into the air using his trapped foot.

Polymer roared and brought his foot down like a hammer. His leg snapped down with incredible force and speed. Space Skunk wailed as he was helplessly pulled down through the air. He hit the rooftop with a disgusting splat, and his body nearly blew apart from the force, dispersing in all directions like jelly being squashed by a sledgehammer. Polymer pulled his foot from the mess, and kicked off any remnants of skunk slime.

"Damn, that was gross. You sure you wouldn't mind being called Booger Skunk instead?"

Space Skunk pulled himself together, reforming once more, and looking relatively unharmed. "Make all the wisecracks you want, it won't save you from your fate." He leaned his head back and puffed his cheeks. Thrusting his head forward, he spat out a glob of green slime, which connected with Polymer's chest. The slime burst open upon impact, wrapping Polymer's torso and arms in a webbing of space slime.

"Ah! G-Get this shit off of me!" Polymer struggled to free himself from the slime wrapping, but it held tightly against even his enhanced strength.

"My Binding Slime will keep you contained while I finish the job." He licked his lips and rubbed his paws together. A hungry glint flashed from his eyes.

Polymer knew that look - all too well. "Oh hell no!" He growled and began expanding his body like a balloon. He grew larger and larger, expanding quickly to the size of a small bedroom. As he did, his figure seemed to grow shinier and more reflective.

Space Skunk laughed with paws at his sides. "Ha, that stuff will stretch to any size you do. You can't break it."

"I wasn't planning on breaking it." Polymer suddenly contracted his entire body to the width of a tree branch. The slime did not shrink fast enough, and he was able to pull himself out of the way before the goo snapped together again.

Space Skunk took a step back in bewilderment. "How can this be? That stuff should have stuck to your body, even when you shrank."

After Polymer returned to normal he explained, "I can make my body slippery, which gave me just enough time to slip out of your little trap."

"Well let's see you slip out of a full body coating!" He reared his head back for another spit.

As Space Skunk launched another slimy glob out of his mouth, this one larger than the last, Polymer used his elastic body to spring into the air moments before impact. He hurled himself at the skunk, and, taking a page from the slime ball's book, expanded his body outward like a giant, elastic sheet. Space Skunk had no time to dodge as the elastic skunk sheet enveloped him. Polymer swiftly pulled his body together, and formed a giant ball - with a head - around the slimy skunk.

Space Skunk beat on the elastic prison that was Polymer. "Hey! Let me out!" He kicked and punched against the rubbery walls, leaving quick bulges that snapped back in an instant.

"Ha! Welcome to my trap, you slime ball." Slowly, Polymer's round body began shrinking and reforming. Space Skunk continued to fight as the walls around him grew closer, and the space grew smaller. As his ball form continued to shrink, Polymer's legs began to take form, as well as his arms. His normal form slowly took shape, despite the thrashing ball of skunk slime within.

"You can't do this to me!" came Space Skunk's muffled cries! "I'm the hero! I'm the one who's supposed to win!"

Polymer transferred Space Skunk's quivering form to his stomach. The stretchy skunk's belly bulged out cartoonishly. He poked at the little imprints Space Skunk made as he continued his desperate struggle to escape.

He laughed, "Serves you right for thinking you could beat - and eat - me." He continued to watch Space Skunk's thrashing, feeling rather amused with the stupid skunk's attempt at escape. "Just die already, and stop bothering me."

"I may have lost the battle, but the war isn't over yet! I'll be back! I'll be... glorp." His last words were cut off as the acids inside Polymer's stomach overtook his head.

"Finally. What a pain in the ass he was." Polymer yawned and gave his bulging belly a pat. "Glad I'll never have to see him again." His unexpected meal finished, Polymer stepped down from the roof, and into a small alleyway. He was about to leave, when a soft sound caught his attention. Looking down beside a nearby trashcan, the skunk spotted a small cat. Upon further inspection, he noticed several bruises all across the feline's body. "You poor thing." He stretched his arms down and picked up the battered cat. He held him close, and noticed he had no collar. "Aw, you must be an orphan, like me. Come on, I'll take you to my home, and we'll see about getting you fixed up, hmm?" The cat replied with a meek mew, which made Polymer chuckle.

He hurried to his and his brother's hideout, the massive, slime-skunk filled gut bouncing while he ran. It gurgled and glorped, its occupant unable to make any sounds of his own - being broken down by acids and all. However, somewhere far away, in the messy bedroom of an apartment building, a strange phenomenon was taking place. Hidden under a bed was a strange looking meteor; and slowly, that meteor was beginning to ooze a rather disgusting looking green slime.

The End

---

And now for something... somewhat different.

Here's a quick, alternate ending (from Stank's perspective) where Space Skunk wins. I made it because... I felt like it. So there! Enjoy, all you Stank lovers!

"Well let's see you slip out of a full body coating!" He reared his head back for another spit. Stank spat out a larger glob of slime, and sent it careening for Polymer's chest. The villainous skunk performed an unexpected leap, and lunged at Stank from the air. But Stank had anticipated this, and shot out a second ball of Slime just as his foe took to the air. The second ball of slime splattered into Polymer's belly, and quickly expanded over his torso and legs.

Polymer fell back down to the roof, most of his body covered now by the slimy goo. "Damn it, let me go!" he cried while thrashing about.

Stank cocked a triumphant sneer. "This isn't like my Binding Slime. This stuff is my very special Consuming Slime."

"Consuming Slime?" As if to answer his question, the slime covering his torso and legs began to spread. The slime covered his feet quickly, and covered his neck and most of his head within seconds. "You bastard slime ball! My brother will get you for this! He'll..." his final words were shut out as the slime wrapped around his face. It hugged his body tight, almost like a latex suit, allowing nearly every curve and contour of his body to be seen.

Stank made his way over to the slime-covered villain, watching with intent glee as the Consuming slime's abilities continued. After it had covered all over Polymer's body, the slime then started to shrink, condensing and compacting the body within. Polymer's muffled cries barely escaped the ever-condensing goo. It quickly digested the bio-matter within as it shrank, eventually forming a small ball of slime, about the size of a gold ball. Stank plucked the glob of slime, and held it to his face.

"I told you that I would defeat you," he cheered to the quivering ball of slime. "And as for your brother... I await the day I get to rid the world of his evil. He'll be no match for the power of..." he got into his heroic position, "Spaaaace Skuuuunk!" His monologue complete, Stank tossed the ball of slime into his maw. His teeth cut through the ball, chewing it into a slimy pulp. The flavor of Polymer's body washed over his tongue. "Mmmm, not bad, but tastes kinda rubbery." He finished his meal off with a gulp, sending the slimy remains of his foe down to his final resting place. After letting out a small burp, the super powered skunk bent down, shot another slime line from his tailhole, and swung off the roof, in search of the new villain to slime.

The Very Un-Canon End