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I'll never understand why my Uncle Ramsey asked me to babysit. I was only thirteen, and was still getting my own babysitter when my parents were away. But he wanted me, and my parents were trying to get us to be closer to our cousins for some family politics. Something about seating at the next family reunion. So babysit, I must.

I hated my cousins. Ramsey's twin daughters were eleven and wanted to play the stupidest things like 'house' or 'dolls'. They were super hyper and would run around and tackle me or worse when all I wanted was to be left alone. They wouldn't - and in fact, couldn't - play video games with me. Things might have been different if they took after Uncle Ramsey, but they were the spitting image of their mother: a four-legged wolf.

Ramsey had gotten a lot of flack for breaking the Cotter family tradition and marrying a feral. Aside from the number of legs, Mrs. Claire Cotter and the two girls weren't so different from the rest of the Cotter family. She even had the black fur that most of us had, which was more than I could say for Ramsey. My Uncle had always been the - ahem - black sheep of the family for his grey coat, which he'd passed on to the twins, Candy and Carly. Carly had even gone lighter, almost white.

I shouldn't really call them feral. That was a slur that bigots used (including some in the extended Cotter line) to refer to four-leggers. The real feral wolves lived in the forest and hunted deer and shat in the woods, they aged super-fast and they didn't talk and they certainly didn't wear clothes. I was always grateful that Aunt Claire wore a skirt, even if it looked a little funny, because the rest of the family didn't seem to have any modesty. They'd moved to a district of Newport that was bottomless optional, and my Aunt was the only one who took that option.

At first, I was too young to view Candy or Carly as any different than feral dogs, and their lack of clothes didn't bother me. Sure, they got Ramsey to put little trinkets in their fur, but otherwise they were totally in the fur. But I was_traumatized_ as a kid by Uncle Ramsey. He took full advantage of the bottomless district, just wearing long-sleeved shirts and leaving his privates out in the open for everyone to see. Visiting them when I was seven was the first time I'd seen another man's penis, and I still couldn't get it out of my mind, even though of course it was just his sheath.

Now, however, it was the twins that bothered me. By thirteen I knew everything about sex from school, and I'd even asked three girls out on a date. None of them had taken me up on it, but I'd asked, and that was more than my best friend Pie could say. So whenever I visited Uncle Ramsey and the girls, I couldn't help but notice their nudity. They wagged their tails incessantly, showing little glimpses of pink spade. It made me feel very awkward and I was glad that bottomless was _optional_because I don't know what I'd do if I had to spend my time there without any pants.

"Sorry, Pie, I've got to babysit my cousins," I groaned.

"Fuck, man, those little bitches?" the husky replied. "What a waste of a weekend, Rand."

"Believe me, I know. But Uncle Ramsey and Aunt Claire are going out to St. Casgill and need a sitter and my parents volunteered me."

Pie joked, "Who's driving?"

I rolled my eyes. "Ramsey, duh. Anyway, I have to suffer through their hyper bullshit all Saturday. At least I don't have to worry about them trying to put make-up on me like Dan's sisters."

Pie just shrugged. "If I were sitting, I'd just put 'em in the backyard on a leash."

"God, you're an asshole," I groaned, punching him in the arm.

He laughed. "If I were an ass would I give you the solution to your 'little girl' problem?"

"What - solution?" I cocked my head, ears perked up.

He held out his paw, and in it were two little white pills. They didn't have any name or logo etched on them. I flattened my ears. Pie just shook his head. "Don't stress, Rand, they're just relaxants. You'll knock those bitches loopy and they'll basically just sleep the whole time. Then you can do whatever you want all weekend."

"What are they?" I asked, pointedly, narrowing my eyes.

"I told you - relaxants. You just slip them in their water bowls and they won't be hyper tweenies in just minutes. I mean, they'll still be eleven. You get what I mean."

"Are they safe?" I asked dubiously.

The husky just shrugged. "Would I give them to you if I weren't sure?"

I shrugged, but I took the pills and pocketed them. I wasn't going to use them, but sometimes it paid off to just go along with Pie to shut him up.

When I arrive on Uncle Ramsey's doorstep, I took great care to avoid looking down. Sure enough, Mr. Cotter was bottomless, and I managed to dodge a bullet. "Hi, Uncle Ramsey, hi Aunt Claire," I said amicably. At least I was getting paid for this horrible weekend.

"We'll be back tomorrow morning, so you'll have to put the girls to bed at 10:00. You can sleep on the couch, and there's some casserole in the fridge for you and the twins."

"No problem, Uncle Ramsey."

Claire smiled up at me. It was still weird looking up and my Uncle and down at my Aunt. She was only about knee-high to me. She was dressed up in a green dress that even covered her belly and wrapped around her neck, with a red flower tucked behind her ear. Didn't look too bad, but I still don't know what Ramsey sees in her. I mean, she's still a four-legger. It's not that I'm a bigot, though, I'm just not attracted to girls like that.

They left in the car before I even got to greet the nightmare twins. They must dislike their kids as much as_I_ did, rushing out like they did. Sighing, I stepped into the house and closed the door. Like cats who'd heard the can opener, the twins zeroed in on me, clambering through the house until they slid eagerly into the kitchen, wagging. "Cousin Randy!" Candy announced, almost slipping on the linoleum. With four legs, she recovered quickly.

I went by Randy when I was eight, but I was a teenager now, and I wanted to be called Rand. There was no stopping the twins though. I'd fought that battle before and lost.

"Hi..." I said weakly, as the wolves bounded up to me.

Carly leapt excitedly, planting her feet on my chest suddenly. Yelping, I took a step back to brace myself. "Hey!"

Candy shoved her sister. "Bad, Carly. That's not polite."

Carly just wagged her tail. "It's Cousin Randy. He doesn't mind." As if to prove it, the white wolf jumped up again, and reflexively I caught her paws, holding her upright. "See?"

Grimly, I said, "It's good to see you, too." I stepped back and let go of her paws, dropping my cousin back to all-fours. "And you, Candy."

The grey wolf pup wagged her tail, too. "I'm glad they got you as a baby-sitter this time. Our regular is a ferret who treats us like we're just pets. She tried to feed us on the floor the first time. Just because we don't have hands doesn't mean we can't sit at the dinner table!"

"Jeeze, yeah," I said noncommittally. I could hardly imagine what it would be like to have no hands. Candy and Carly would spend the rest of their lives dependent on other people driving them places, making them food, dressing them - well, I guess not, since they lived in the bottomless district. Suddenly it made a lot more sense why the girls chose to go without.

"So, what do you wanna do?" I shrugged.

Carly threatened to jump up again, but I managed to turn away to deflect her excitement. "Movie marathon! We can stay up all night watching every single Twilight movie!"

I groaned. "No you don't. I'm supposed to put you both to bed by 10:00."

Carly whined. "Come on. When do you ever go to bed at 10? We're only two years younger than you, you know. That's just Dad-speak for 'don't have any fun'."

I raised my hand like a boy scout. "I took a solemn vow to get you in bed by 10." Mostly because I wanted to get out of their hair and play some video games on my phone.

Candy hopped up on the sofa and said, "We've seen those movies a thousand times anyway. I'd rather play Ivy Terrace."

"You know I'm just going to beat you both again," I grinned. Ivy Terrace was a new-style board game with a fair amount of strategy. I used to be awful, but the girls were younger than me, and that much more awful. By now I'd worked out a pretty good strategy of building on the fours, and unless they'd developed a new counter, I was just going to win again. Not that I minded.

"You've got to set it up," Carly smiled back.

The nice thing about the board game was that there were no cards to hold, and I could move all the pieces for the twins. "Put my town on the five," Candy would say, and I just reached over and did what she asked. Carly was doing her same shipping strategy that never worked, but Candy had really stepped up her game. By passing early every round, she got to go first and take the sell action before I could.

"I win," I announced, revealing my ten points. Carly had seven, which was a new personal best, but Candy actually revealed two bonus points, putting her at nine. "Woah, you almost got me."

Candy grumbled. "If Carly hadn't let you get grocer all the time I'd have beaten you."

Carly just rolled her eyes. "Sucks for you."

I froze. I'd never heard any of the twins say something like that before. Ramsey and Claire were even more sticklers than my parents about swearing. Of course I did behind their backs, but these were my little cousins. They were supposed to be perfect little angels.

Candy yelped. "Carly!"

"What?"

Candy shook her head. "You can't say that."

Carly groaned. "Come on, you're not our mother. Everyone at school says 'sucks'. Dad's even slipped up a few times. It's not even a swear."

Candy said, "Randy, back me up here. It is a swear."

I nodded. "It is."

Carly looked at me sorely. "The teachers don't send kids to the office for it. How is it a swear, anyway?"

The white wolf dropped her jaw. "It's not talking about...like vacuums, Carly. It means, like..."

Carly cocked her head, interested. Candy looked up at me for help, but I just shrugged. I didn't want to explain it either. Stammering, the normally reserved girl explained, "Like sucking...um, on a guy's sheath."

Now it was Carly's turn to gape. "What!? Really?"

They both looked up at me for confirmation. Taking a breath, I nodded.

Carly yelped, "Gross." She paused. "Then, is blowing...?"

Candy nodded, showing her a motion that I'd never be able to unsee. My little cousin parted her lips slightly and bobbed her head back and forth, mimicking a blow job. Blood rushed to my face.

"Let's, um...talk about something else," I stammered.

The girls took one look at me and broke out laughing. "Cousin Randy is uncomfortable!" Carly giggled.

Candy said, "I know what we should play next. Truth or dare!"