The Dream
The oddest thing happened to me last night, and I want to tell you about it.
I had a dream:
I have never had a dream like the one I had last night. It was quite unusual, and felt very real.
First, I will tell you a little about myself. I have for all of my life been fascinated with wolves. I fancied myself a wolf in a past life or something, and felt somehow spiritually connected to them. I would often daydream of being a wolf. I felt odd about this, as people tended to think of werewolves as monsters. I really didn't think of it that way though. I thought it was more like the Indian beliefs of shapeshifting.
I have a dog, a Malamutte. I didn't feel it was right to own a hybrid, but I had always wanted a pet wolf. A Malamutte seemed like a good compromise. I chose a brown-eyed female out of a litter that a friend's dog had. She struck me with her grey coloring and calm nature. She has been my friend ever since. In my studying of how to shapeshift, I often stared at her, looking at her body to see what changes would have to come to my own body if I were to be a wolf. Often, as I was meditating, she would come a lick my face, breaking my concentration. Her presence helped me feel closer to wolves, and made me more and more resolved to become one some day, if only for a while.
Well, my fascination eventually grew to near obsession. I began to try to figure out ways to become a wolf, in whole or part, even if only temporarily. I tried a great many things, from meditation, to lucid dreaming. I was largely unsuccessful with the dreams, except for an occasional dream where I was able to see myself start to shift into a wolf. The dreams only lasted for a few minutes though, as I quickly lost control and woke up. I had a number of friends on various chatrooms and even some I spoke to in person and on the phone who had much better success with dreaming than I did. However, I sensed that they were not all nearly as serious about trying to shapeshift as I was.
A dear friend gave me a book one day. She said it was transcribed from the words of an Indian Holy Man, or Shaman, many years ago. Indeed the book looked old and crude. She had book-marked a section for me to read, as she knew of my interest in shapeshifting. I read that section with fascination. It spoke of ways of thinking and prayers that could be said for shapeshifting that seemed ridiculously easy. Given the nature of the book, I felt it was just another line of thinking that would get me nowhere. I felt the need to give it a try anyway. The words of the Shaman did caution that only certain people could attain real shapeshifting, and even though I felt special, I had my doubts about the writings.
After reading the book, I decided to give it a try regardless of my misgivings. It suggested a simple meditation and recitation of an incantation of sorts. The words seemed so simple and easy, yet somehow, I felt as though they were written for me. It was almost as though I could have come up with the words myself. I performed the ceremony at night, in my bed, in case I fell asleep. Appropriately enough, it was a full moon. My dog, who always slept on the bed anyway, lay quietly at the foot of the bed as I began. She had been in heat, and was especially quiet, probably because of her mood. She did not lick my face this time, as I sat there in meditation. I really felt bad for her, and stopped to comfort her for a few moments. She licked me, and lay back down as I resumed my meditation.
My memory on the next part is kind of fuzzy, but I will try to remember things as they happened. I sat up, on the bed, in a relaxed sitting position. I recited the words, over and over, concentrating on them. It felt like hours that I was slowly reciting the words, relaxing and clearing my thoughts the whole time. I felt as though I had gone to sleep, as I began to see images and hear voices. I could not see anyone, but the voices called. I saw images of a forest, of quiet meadows. I saw myself sitting in a quiet meadow, surrounded by trees.
Then, amongst the trees in my mind, I saw shadows. Shadows of wolves. I felt as though they were calling me, drawing me to them. I saw myself rise on my feet and go towards them. It was a beautiful dream that I was having. That dream ended with me entering the forest.
Suddenly, I was on my bed. I did not know if I was dreaming or not, but in case it was a lucid dream, I made sure not to concern myself. I could hear the voices calling for me still. I realized that the voices were howls, and that I understood them. The voices did not speak words to me, but rather emotions that I could put words to. They were calling to me as to indicate that I should join them. I answered back. In my mind, my dog also answered back. I could understand her, and she was saying the same thing I was: I am coming.
Then it began, the shapeshifting. It started as a very intense awareness of my body. I became aware of every part of my body, almost as though I could feel every nerve at the same time. I felt my body begin to change from the inside. It was very confusing, and yet, very powerful. I had never before in my life been so aware of myself. It felt magical. Then, I began to loose sense of my body. Slowly, I began to feel disconnected, apart from my body. As this happened, I felt embraced by the voices that called me, as though they were in actual contact with my spirit. My detachment grew into a total feeling of disconnection from myself. I opened my eyes, and in the soft moonlight streaming through the open curtains, I could see my body. At first, I thought I was seeing tricks of the moonlight, as my body appeared dark and almost fuzzy. On closer inspection, I realized that it was actually fur. I rejoiced for a moment at having finally achieved a lucid shapeshifting dream of such intense realism.
The change was nothing like I could have ever imagined. Where I had imagined little bits happening at a time, such as paws forming from hands, my jaw extending into a muzzle, fur growing, or even a tail growing; everything was now happening at once. It was quite overwhelming, but at the same time, felt very natural, and very good. Rather quickly, or so it felt at least, my body was changing. At some point, I became unable to sit up, and was forced onto my side as the changes continued. This was where I realized that I had fallen asleep while sitting up, something I have never been able to do.
As it was rather dark, I could not see much detail. My fur was dark, but beyond that, I could not tell what color it was. As I lay, my arms stretched in front of me, I could see the details of my emerging shape. My hands were becoming more round, seeming to become much thinner. My fingers stretched out, and I could see large calluses forming at the ends of my fingers and on my palm. My fingernails were curling, trapping my fingertips inside as they closed into claws. As my eyes scanned my changing body, I noticed other changes as well. For one thing, I was now looking at myself past a growing muzzle. It looked rather odd for a moment, but felt quite natural, as though I had always had a muzzle. My gaze moved down my body. I noticed that my chest was no longer flat, but, through the thick fur I now sported, had thrust outward, shaped like a wolf's. My eyes moved further down my body, and I could see my legs had nearly completely changed. My feet were very much the feet of a wolf at this point. For some reason, I was not at all surprised to see my tail extending past my buttocks. I sensed that the change was nearing completion. I lifted the leg that was on top, curious as to what changes had taken place down below. I was impressed with what I saw, a rather large furred sheath, which, I assumed, contained the proper organ of a wolf.
For whatever reason, my attention was suddenly drawn away from myself, and I began to sense things around me. I heard my dog whimpering. She was behind me, at the foot of the bed. I lifted my head to look in her direction, and did not recognize what I saw. There, at the foot of my bed was a wolf where my dog had been. Her whimper was a greeting of sorts, to get my attention. I stared at her for what seemed an eternity, taking in her beauty, amazed that she had also undergone the same change that I had.
My instincts told me to go to her, and I did. I rose onto my four legs, and walked over to her. I sniffed her muzzle, and she licked mine. I licked her as well, and took to sniffing her. She smelled wonderful. There was an odor on her that was driving me to intense passion. The feelings, which I am only still realizing, were at the time quite natural feeling. I jumped down onto the floor, and sniffed at her crotch, nudging her gently.
She jumped onto the floor, and we sniffed each other. She was beautiful. Her form was exquisite. But what really struck me was her odor. She smelled of passion. To my surprise, while I was taking in her beauty and her scent, she moved behind me and mounted me. My instinctive reaction was to resist, and attempt to throw her off of me, but she held me with her front legs and thrust herself upon my back, her paws stroking at my sheath. As she finally fell off of me, I began to feel myself becoming erect.
I sniffed at myself once she was off of me. I smelled of sex, and sensed readiness. During this time, it never occurred to me that this might be wrong, only that it felt right, natural.
She mounted me again, and this time, I waited before trying to throw her off. I began thrusting myself, at which point she dismounted, and jumped beside me, pushing herself against me. Once again, instinct took over, and I mounted her. My thrusting crescendoed to an intense level and pace, and I felt myself striving to enter her. My efforts were rewarded with the feeling that I had indeed entered her. My thrusting became more pronounced, every muscle in my body seeming to be dedicated to my attempt to get deep inside of her. I felt her growing tight around me, pulling me into her. I could feel my knot growing, working in concert with her efforts, and forcing me deeper inside of her. I closed my eyes and began to pant rapidly as my thrusts continued toward their peak. I felt her tight around me, and I felt that I was fully inside of her, unable to escape or be escaped from. My thrusting began to peak, and the sheer ecstasy that I felt was exploding within me, exploding into her. I rested my body fully on her back as I released myself inside of her. It felt quite like an explosion, and I could feel myself shooting juices deep into her. With each release, her body spasmed beneath me, driving me to further ecstasy. My thrusting had stopped as soon as I released, and I now felt everything with extreme intensity. Every time I released, waves of pleasure shot through my body, and seemed to flow into hers as well. The released occurred quite often at first, and slowly, over what seemed like an eternity of bliss, slowed their pace and intensity. I began to relax, as I also regained my strength after such an intense event.
After what seemed like hours, my erection had subsided enough to allow me to pull out of her. One last release sent a great jolt of pleasure through me, and she seemed to feel it to, as I felt her body spasm with the last release. I dropped down from her back onto my four legs, and stretched my body, pulling my organ back into it's sheath. She put her muzzle between my legs and began to lick me, cleaning off the juices at the end of my sheath. Moments later, I reciprocated, licking her clean, enjoying the sweet tastes and odors.
She looked at me, seeming to smile, staring at me as though she was waiting for me to do something. I hopped up onto the bed and she immediately followed. I moved to the head of the bed, walked around in a tight circle, and lay down on my side. She came over, and lay down, her head resting on my neck, licking my muzzle as she did.
I awoke that morning, not at first remembering the dream, lying there, curled up in a ball, with my Malamutte resting her head upon my neck. I soon remembered the dream, and could only smile to myself. My dog licked my face, and trotted off to eat.
It's been two months since I had that dream. I just found out that my dog is pregnant despite never having been out of the house or otherwise exposed to another dog.
I guess it really wasn't a dream. And I wonder what the pups will look like.