Chapter 4

A trio of fires lit the inky night in the middle of the small village. Warm flickers cast a glow on deer of all ages as every family gathered around each of the three, shadows dancing on the trees all around them. The crackling of the large fires competed with a dozen different conversations had over the warm spiced acorn bread and little clay mugs of tart blackberry juice. When another carefully tended pot was pronounced ready, its cloudy fermented contents proved popular, despite a frequent cringe at its bitterness.

Bryn sat cross-legged, contemplating the sparks rising into the night sky. On his lap was a plank of disheveled greens and acorn bread broken into unappetizing crumbs. This morning he was excited to be back with his clanmates, back in the place he called home. But his position as a young male in the clan was now muddier than ever, and the excitement gave way to anxiety. He shared these fears with his father, in deliberately vague terms, but only managed to get token assurances that everything would work out. After spending eight months on the road together, his father understandably needed a little distance, and Bryn watched from afar as he laughed boisterously with other bucks of an age. 'I don't know if you can recognize it now,' his father explained to him, 'but we didn't go all that way _just_to trade. I wanted you to see the greater world out there, to build some confidence in yourself. One of these days it'll make sense--maybe sooner than any of us knows.' And with a firm pat on the back, he was off to reconnect with his old buddies.

Even with his father's encouragement, Bryn was terrified at the thought of being exiled for committing some transgression against the clan; for getting too familiar with the females, perhaps. But did Cadogan really have the clout he seemed to claim? He may have uncontested dominance over the deer still coming into their first seasons (and this was more by way of inheritance than anything) but by no means was he the clan leader. He had no right to banish Bryn or anyone else by his own authority. But that doesn't mean he wouldn't try.

"Hey, bucky Bryn!" K.C. suddenly dropped beside him with a clatter of jewelry, sitting on her knees, Clover and Hazel in tow. She turned one of the clay mugs in her hands and beamed a toothy smile.

"Oh, K.C. I . . ." he ran his fingers nervously through the fluff between his antlers, ". . . I want to say I'm really sorry about earlier. I wish I hadn't--"

She comforted Bryn loudly with a hand on his shoulder. "No, no. You were a huge help! Getting the firewood was more than enough. I wasn't expecting you to stick around for the cooking as well!"

Hazel cocked her head and turned to Clover. All she offered was a shrug. Bryn blinked, nonplussed.

"Refill, girls?" K.C. lifted her mug to them and seemed to be clutching Bryn more for stability than comfort.

Hazel obliged and delicately removed the empty mug from the doe's swaying grip. Turning to him, "Anything for you, Bryn?" The orange glow of the fire pulsed, highlighting her figure. Hazel's typical long, feathered braid was draped elegantly over her shoulder and she wore stark lines of charcoal on her fur painted specially for the communal feast; under her eyes, across her arms, tracing curves around her hips that seemed more sensual on the young doe than probably intended.

Shaking his head, "No . . . no, thank you . . ."

"Hey, try to take it easy," Clover added. "It's just good to have you back. No pressure to do anything but rest up." She smiled sweetly and went off with Hazel.

K.C. watched the pair carefully as they walked out of earshot, then turned to the boy. She whispered right by his cheek, close enough for him to smell the heady warmth of her breath, "Bryn, it's okay. I know you got nervous because it's something new. But I'm still your friend. I'll always be."

She wrapped her arm around him and pulled in closer, their cheeks pressed together and her supple, intoxicated lips dangerously close to his. "Thanks," Bryn whispered back, anxious in the sudden intimacy, "I'll always be, too." At the touch of his friend's warm fur, he was thankful for the modesty afforded by the plank across his lap.

"There's nothing to be sorry about or ashamed of. I mean, fuck . . . even I get nervous. Sometimes. And besides," her voice dropped lower as she spoke directly into his ear, "you may not have noticed, but you've grown into a really sexy buck. Any time you wanna collect firewood together, you lemme know . . ."

Bryn swallowed as K.C. nosed his cheek. Her full breasts swung as she turned and the firm bump of a nipple dragged over his arm. She rose to her feet, struggling to find balance for a moment, and shot him a mischievous smile before turning away. Her tail waved happily side to side as she sauntered off to find the other girls. He looked around, relieved that Cadogan was nowhere in sight. She laid her intentions bare, but all of this was way too risky--he was just happy to stay friends with K.C.

And stay IN the clan.

But Bryn did recognize a figure from across the fire, sitting back against the wall of a lashed-stick lodge. It was Tamara, alone and looking even more solemn than that morning. She clung to her knees, tucked up against her chest, doing her best to sink back into the shadows while still obliging her duty to attend the feast. Her brother set out only this morning, and she was clearly still in a fog of grief.

Collecting himself, Bryn set aside the remnants of his dinner and passed through the crowd, making his way over to the lonely doe. Her half-lidded eyes could have been staring a mile away as the buck stood over her.

"H-hey, Tamara," he offered a sympathetically forced smile.

She quickly warmed seeing his face. "Bryn," she managed a meager smile in kind, "How's it going?"

"Well, I'm doing pretty alright." He sat beside her. "But how about you? I mean, how are you holding up?"

Tamara let out a long sigh and softly shook her head. Firelight shone an orange glow on the fringes of her short fur, the gentle features of her face framed by golden hair that draped to one side, flowing in the early autumn's crisp breeze.

"It's my fault, Bryn," the doe said in a weak voice. "It's just eating me inside--it's my fault Evan was sent off. It's my fault he's gone."

Bryn sat there opened-mouth trying to understand. "It's NOT your fault Tamara. Don't say things like that . . . your brother left because he was old enough to find another clan. Even past old enough by what he said."

She clenched her jaw and the fiery reflection welled in her eyes. "Did he say that?" Her voice was shaky, "Or was it Cad?"

He was taken aback by the doe's reaction. She was really grieving over this. "Well, Evan told me--"

"I'm the reason, Bryn," she cut him off abruptly. "He had a future in this clan; he was supposed to be our leader someday! He was a natural-born leader, bred to fit the part. You know it, too. Then I fucked it up. It all could've been okay. But Cad . . ." she bared clenched teeth and her fur seemed to bristle, then almost gasped, ". . . Cad!" She suddenly looked up.

Bryn turned to see the buck standing over them. He was wearing feathered cords between his stunted antlers, dressing up the symbols of his maleness in some imitation of his now-departed brother and obviously none-too-bothered by his newfound status. If he grieved at all for his Evan's departure, it was over as soon as it began. He was enjoying the evening as much as anyone, a mug sloshing in his hand.

"How are you liking the dinner, Bryn? I know you're used to exotic meals in far-off places, but I hope acorn bread's still good enough for your discriminating palate." The other buck grinned down at him mockingly, blocking the firelight in a proud stance.

"Hey, Tamara," he turned to his sister, "Dad wants to see you. He's worried about you looking so depressed in front of everyone."

The doe only managed a frustrated whine, but decided against arguing with her father, the clan leader. "Sorry, Bryn." She rose to join her brother.

"Hey," Cadogan called down to him domineeringly, "don't you get mopey, too. Try to cheer up!" He then turned to escort his sister.

The young buck remained silently by the lodge, rolling Tamara's words around in his head, trying to make sense of it all. _What makes her think this is her fault? Why would she get Evan kicked out of the clan? Did Cadogan really make this happen?_He suddenly felt even less love for his conceited clanmate.