Belleraphon Chapter 3
#5 of Belleraphon and Clover
I haven't been as frequent in revising this story as I wanted to be, mostly because I haven't received a lot of feedback and I feel uncomfortable posting anything
Chapter 3-A
Belle
It had been three days since we had first met Clover, and I had been spending nearly every afternoon hanging out with her. It was such a strange feeling: actively interacting with another person so often, even if it was someone who shared common interests with myself. She enjoyed books, especially the works of Doctor Grimwalde and P. C. Cromwell. She listened to Chronus, at my request, and found it to be so exciting, that the very next day, she was raving about the first ten episodes, which she'd marathon-ed the previous night. Poor Raphon didn't have as much in common as I did, aside from perhaps their love of outdoor activities and cheesy old films, and yet he still managed to immerse himself in the conversation, if only because he was at least somewhat versed in our escapades.
One thing we had learned about Clover, was that she had a strange habit of vanishing for long bathroom breaks of between ten and fifteen minutes, and always carried her bulky messenger bag for the ride. Raphon had joked that she might be in there masturbating and needed her laptop or perhaps a hidden toy for the ordeal. I had, of course, punched him for saying so, though I had considered the prospect of a medical issue or a drug problem, though she never smelled of anything foreign aside from that delightful shampoo. When she approached, I could smell it, before I even saw her, and would feel a fluttering in my chest immediately.
I still hadn't been able to gain full control of our body again, and I had begun to put the experience out of my mind. Even the lab staff, after an hour of exhausting and invasive tests, couldn't discern what had caused it to happen the first time. We had decided to leave out the information about how I had begun to channel my brother's thoughts and hormones.
Saturday morning, and I was awake before my brother, as usual, and staring at the ceiling in heavy thought. Oddly, the more important goings on in my life, my transition into gaining bodily function, wasn't the key event in my head. I kept returning to Clover, and I wasn't naive enough to believe it was for unromantic reasons. What I didn't understand was 'why?' I had never felt the need for affection before, and suddenly I was craving it every waking moment that we were apart, and even from a woman I had met only a few days before. I felt vulnerable, and I didn't like it. Subconsciously, as I thought about her icy blue eyes and beautiful smile, I could already feel my face and chest fill with heat. I always smiled until the reminder that she was somewhere else hit, and I suddenly felt the empty-stomached sensation of anxiety.
Of course, this meant that someone else could feel it too. "Whatcha thinking about sis?" Came a familiar voice from beside me, teasing in nature. He was providing a knowing smile toward me, and I didn't miss a beat.
"Your sad, limited football career."
He huffed, knowing full-well that I was joking. "That's a cheap shot."
"I'm sure that's exactly what the talent scouts would've thought about your field goal last night." I shouldn't have been poking the proverbial bear. Raphon had played hard at the previous night's game, but the team had ultimately lost. He blamed himself, even though everyone had told him how well he'd done, myself and Clover included. Yes, she'd even come to watch Raph's game.
"You're thinking about Clover, aren't you?" He inquired, a bit of bite in his tone which I chose to ignore, seeing as it's source was his annoyance at my teasing.
"Yeah." I answered flatly.
"You like her?" His voice sounded more interested than usual, and he sat us up, stretching out our arms and arching our back to dislodge the various kinks from lying still all night.
"She's fun." was all I offered, but he simply wasn't about to let me drift through with such a simple response.
"You don't get butterflies in our stomach thinking about someone who is 'fun.' You have a crush on her."
"I.. You... YOU have a crush on her!" I barked at him, unable to actually come up with a reasonable argument, "You're just trying to imprint your feelings for her on me!" Why was I in denial? Even I knew I wanted nothing more than to feel the hybrid girl's body against my own at that very moment. Maybe I was just addicted to conflict; Or simply attached to this rebellious loner persona I had held onto for so long. Raph was right, but I didn't want to come out and admit that anyone had impacted me in such a strong way. Pride is a stupid thing.
"I don't, really. I mean... I do enjoy spending time with her, and we do click on a lot of levels, but I don't even know what she looks like under those ugly hoodies she wears." Raph mused thoughtfully.
"You mean to tell me you have to know what she looks like naked just to be able to like her!? What kind of shallow asshole are you? She's perfect, regardless of whether or not she meets your standards of beauty underneath her clothing! I hope she never takes off those hoodies, She's fantastic just the same!" He was laughing, and I turned angrily at him, "What the hell is so fucking funny?"
"You're really gullible. Of course she's perfect without seeing her naked, I just wanted to hear you say it."
A heat rushed to my face; a familiar sensation I knew from every instance in which my anger flared to an unreasonable height. I wasn't angry, though: I was humiliated. How could I let him trick me so easily? I was being so juvenile. My face must have been about the same hue as a fresh tomato, beneath my fur, and I fought hard for something to say, but ultimately responded with, "You're an asshole."
I stayed quiet for the entirety of our shower, drying, and while I applied my makeup. I refused to give him the satisfaction, so he simply blathered on about nothing for the expanse of my silence, divulging long strings of unimportant drivel. He sometimes did this to force me to speak up when I was pouting. I was nearly done with my eyeliner when he was cut silent by the vibration of both of our phones on bathroom counter-top.
I lunged for mine, and discovered a message from my favorite Cowlie, asking simply 'U up?' Raph showed me his phone, which had the same message, as the three of us were all in the same chat in our Candygram app. I replied as quickly as I could, letting Clover know that I was currently putting on makeup, and would be getting dressed soon.
This was when things got more interesting.
Farmdog20: Oops! I caught ya'll naked~...
Leftsnark: It wouldn't be the first time someone has.
Raph gave me a judgmental look, and I stuck out my tongue.
Farmdog20:I don't know what you mean xD But why don't we all meet up and get coffee?
I was about to respond with, yes, but Raphon responded with a reminder of previous plans.
Footba11king2323: We were actually going to go swimming today. Belle promised me. You're welcome to join us!
We waited curiously, her screen name indicating a "...typing" for almost five minutes. We watched, hopeful as she seemed to be writing out a veritable mountain of text for us to read. Eventually I went back to my makeup, growling at Raphon and practically throwing the styling pen into the drawer.
"You didn't want to remind me that we were going swimming BEFORE I applied makeup!?"
"And spoil your tantrum? Besides have you actually listened to anything I've said since you started sulking?" I wished, right then, that we were both in different bodies, if only so that I could kick him in the balls. A buzz from below, and we both rushed to our phones, apparently equally-eager to see this novel we had been written.
Farmdog20: Sorry, something came up.
We both looked at one another curiously. Until this point, we had simply figured that Clover enjoyed wearing her baggy clothing. Now, however we were beginning to paint a completely different image in our heads. Was she embarrassed about her body? She was a little chubby in the torso, but not to any degree that looked even remotely unhealthy. Perhaps she had some kind of odd scar? I felt that heat return, and yet I wasn't angry or embarrassed. Shaking my head to clear the clouds, I sighed.
"I guess I'll keep in touch with her today. I wonder what's going on."
Raph shrugged our shoulders, and I felt my head go limp for a moment, my vision going black as I lost consciousness for a brief moment. I awoke moments later to Raph complaining about something and a cold sweat on my forehead. What had happened?
"Belle, are you listening? What did you headbutt me for?"
I blinked my eyes a few times, the world coming back into focus, "I..."
"Are you okay?" I shook my head for a moment, clearing it once more, then turned to look at Raph. I didn't need to be worrying him over nothing.
"I'm fine. Sorry. Got Dizzy for a moment." He gave me a concerned look, and I suddenly heard his voice.
She's acting weird...
"No I'm not. I told you, I'm fine!" His face looked extra-concerned, but he didn't say anything. It wasn't until a few minutes later that I realized I hadn't actually heard him speak, but by that time we were already on our way to the gathering.
The rest of our day was spent at the pool, trying to relax and stay cool in the infernal heat. Even with all of Raph's friends around, he spent the first half of it talking to me about what might be Clover's issue. We also politely wondered how she thought she was going to be a cheerleader when she couldn't feel comfortable wearing anything skin-tight.
I knew that whatever was wrong with Clover, it was her business, and hers alone, and yet some part of me really wanted to know what hangup was keeping her in this standoffish state. My brother and I pondered throughout the day, while I still maintained a vigilant conversation with our cowlie companion, even as he socialized with his popular friends. From time to time, people would attempt to talk to me as well, but I simply gave polite, short answers and went back to my phone. I had been dizzy and lethargic off and on for most of the day, but I had attributed it to the heat.
We stayed late, which I found unexciting, even as the party was winding down, and only a few stragglers still remained. I had resigned to call our multi-species friend while Raphon was busy flirting with Gabriela O'dell, a thin, twiggy skunk that was anything but his type. He must have been desperate to score. I wanted to believe that thinking so hard about Clover was getting him worked up? I placed both buds of my headset in my ears and awaited Clover's pickup.
"Hey!" came just about the most excited voice I'd ever heard on the other end of a phone call from me, "I was going to call you as soon as I got out of the bath!"
I flushed red, and sat thankful that she wasn't there to see it. "I... oh... you're in the tub?" I muttered so that Raphon wouldn't hear.
She spoke in a nervous voice, "Yeah... sorry. Is that a problem? I can call back."
"No!" I spoke a bit louder than I had intended to, gaining a pair of concerned looks from Raphon and Gabriela. I motioned them away and followed up with, "no, sorry. That's okay. I just... I guess I just... uh." I was drawing a complete blank for excuses, and was about to say something about how bad it would be if she dropped her phone in the tub, when she decided to up my blood pressure just a bit more.
"Oh, you're thinking about me naked." She said in a voice that was... well... a really feeble but obvious attempt at sounding flirty. It came across as patronizing, but thankfully I knew what she had meant.
What was I going to say? "Y-yeah. Sorry, I guess I am."
She laughed, "No it's fine! I've thought about you naked. I think about a lot of people naked. It's pretty normal... at least I hope so!" The expression on my face must have been a look of surprise, because Raphon suddenly looked extremely concerned, and mouthed an inaudible 'is everything okay,' to which I nodded. My heart was beating a million miles-per-minute, and I felt a familiar heat in my face, followed by a cold sweat.
I wonder what they're talking about?
"Oh, that's Raph, he's talking to a friend."
""What?" Clover sounded concerned.
I was quiet now, an oil slick of embarrassment spreading along the pool of excitement that was already making my face flush. That was Raphon's voice again... why?
"You're being quiet... did I make it awkward? I'm sorry! I just figured we were both girls so..."
"It's fine, Clover, I promise." She had called me 'a girl' and I was practically giddy from such nonchalant recognition. It was more often that I was treated as a part of Raph than treated as a kindred spirit with other females. I maintained composure and listened to the sounds of her swishing softly about the tub water, "Sounds like you have a deep tub." I offered, unable to think of anything reasonable to say when I was so busy picturing her body, which I had not actually seen, half-submerged in bubbly water.
"Yeah, my mom has this huge jacuzzi tub, and when she and my step-dad aren't home, I use it to soak my aching..." she let out an eerie pause, "...bones." she muttered the last part with a bit of a flustered voice.
I thought about a nice hot Jacuzzi dip, and smiled. Maybe we needed to do that later. "That sounds nice, all we have is a corner shower big enough to squeeze into."
"Well I don't fit right either. My boobs just stick out over the top of the water, and since my nipples are already wet, they just get cold." I gasped slightly, but managed to keep it inaudible by simply sucking in a lungful of air. I knew she was teasing me, the presented information was too personal to be anything else. Something strange had happened, now, and I was feeling a familiar sensation in our baggy swimsuit that I was sure couldn't have been from my own experience. Already the material was tightening and tenting around our expounding flesh. It had to be Raphon, right? What were those two even talking about?
"I uh... wow... I didn't realize you were so...blessed..." I tried to keep my voice down, but my head was swimming, I barely comprehended anything at this point, "I guess I've never seen you in anything but a hoodie."
She giggled, though her voice was a bit breathy, and I heard the water churning about a bit more than before now, "Yeah.. you guys have a pretty... big...body...too" her voice was becoming labored as she spoke, and it almost sounded like her words were hissed between clenched teeth when she got to the intensity of our stature. I've been known to overthink things, but even I couldn't have been mistaken about the sounds coming from the other side of the phone. She was masturbating! My face turned a brilliant pink hue as I reached this realization, compounded by the epiphany that she was doing it to MY voice.
What could I do? I couldn't let on that I knew: we had a guest just two feet away. Not to mention that there was a distinct possibility that letting on that I knew might embarrass her. In my ear, her heavy breathing continued. She was so into the sensation that she hadn't even realized just how long she had been silent.
I searched for something to say. Anything at all. When words finally erupted from my mouth, I instantly regretted them. I have never abhorred myself for saying anything, more than I did at that moment, my brother beside me, his floozy leaning in for a kiss, and the woman of my dreams secretly masturbating on the other line.
"I love you."
Chapter 3-B
Raphon
Gabriela wasn't my first choice for the evening, but when I could tell that things weren't going to happen with Sandy Grayridge, I had settled for her. It wasn't that she was ugly, or undesirable, but she certainly wasn't my type. She was a bit bone-headed, skinny, underdeveloped, and had a kind of self-loving personality that I found irritating. Still, the need was there, and I was willing to accept her as a companion for the evening, so long as she would as well. As Belle might have guessed, I would have preferred a certain hybrid for the evening, but with Belle actually showing interest, I wanted to take everything slow, so as not to screw things up.
There we were, inches apart. I could practically taste the bite of cool wintergreen from her gum as our lips closed the gap. Any second now and we'd be heading home for the rest of the n-...
"I love you."
I practically spat, and Gabriela responded unanimously and with the exact same inflection, "WHAT?!" At first, she thought I had been talking to her, and I thought she was speaking to me. We found, by our own surprise, that neither of us had said it, and cast our gaze to my sister.
Belle had an expression of horror and surprise on her face, and I could hear a loud yelling on the line. Gabriela held up both hands, "whoa whoa, I don't know what is going on here, but I am not going to be a third wheel."
Belle did what she always does when she's embarrassed: She skipped shame and went straight to defensive anger, "Bitch, you aren't even a fourth wheel!" My face went pale and I felt faint as I heard her. Gabriela reached out to slap Belle, which my sister caught it mid-swing. Gripping her wrist tightly, Gabriela was lifted as though she were made of Styrofoam, and hurled, screaming into the pool.
I've been in a lot of party-stopping situations in my life, however I have never seen my sister, even at her angriest, throw a person into an active pool with only the use of her one hand, and realized that the act had required a substantial amount of our body to accomplish. She was in control again, and I soon found myself being carried away to the apartment complex's adjacent clubhouse.
I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to call her a bitch. I wanted to scold her for throwing Gabriela, or for having the audacity to tell a girl she barely knew that she loved her. I wanted her to know that she'd behaved like a bitch, but then I looked into Belle's puffy, red eyes. I saw the wet stains of tears across her cheeks. I heard the heavy breathing and occasional squeaks of someone trying to restrain from bawling, and I knew. I knew that the response she'd received over the phone was anything but positive. I knew that she'd already endured a punishment worse than any tongue-lashing I could give her.
Instead of reprimanding her, or angrily lashing out; instead of mentioning how she'd managed to wrestle control of our body away from me, again; I simply sat in silence, letting her rest her head against mine and cry her disappointment away. I didn't even inquire as to what was said, I just let her do what she wanted. It took about fifteen minutes for her to feel up to leaving.
We went home after that, garnering no shortage of odd or angry looks as we passed through the pool area. I was sure to be blamed for throwing Gabriela into the water, but right now, all I cared about was seeing Belle safely home. She was silent, throughout the entire evening, and didn't even look me in the face whenever we hazarded a look in the mirror. I knew what the problem was: She was humiliated from her unrequited offering of romance, and she was humiliated from her violent behavior in front of our classmates, and most of all, she was humiliated from having broken down in front of me.
We went to bed in silence, and when the first direct rays of sunlight struck my eyes, I was the first awake for the first time in as long as I could remember. I didn't want to disturb her, so instead, I reached for my phone, resigning to immerse myself to social media until she woke. I noticed that I had a handful of messages: A few from my teammates and friends each asking what the hell had actually transpired the night before, and about ten individual messages from Clover. When were those sent? I hadn't even checked my phone all night, following the events that had taken place. The time stamps indicated that she had sent a message almost ten minutes after Gabriela was forced to do a belly-flop.
I wanted to know what was in the messages... and yet I also felt an apprehension about opening them. From the time stamps, it was clear that she had been up all night; until about four AM. She was probably asleep anyway. Peering at my sleeping sister, I sighed, and decided it best to check the messages, anyway.
They were lengthy, thought-out, but complete with no small amount of frantic backtracking; clearly written by someone desperate. At first, she wrote about how sorry she was was hurting Belle's feelings, and how much we both mean to her. It was sweet in its composition, calling us the best friends she'd ever had, and thanking us for being so kind to her. She admitted that, inside she loved us both so very much, but on multiple occasions she referred to 'issues in (her) life' and 'not wanting to complicate (our) lives.' The words 'secrets' and 'strangeness' kept coming up in her ramblings, and eventually I just skipped ahead to the last message.
"I realize now, that no matter how hard I try, I cannot be part of others' lives because I will always be too ashamed of my imperfections and ugliness to ever let anyone in. I'm glad I could meet you both, and have the best few days I've had in over two years... no... in my life. Thank you. Goodbye."
I studied the message a moment, then set my phone down beside me and stared at the ceiling. "She was actually pretty great, and though I hadn't been openly courting her, I really did enjoy her company almost as much as Belle. Nearby, Belle stirred and I quietly waited for her to awaken, pondering the messages and deciding what amount of the lengthy wall of text she should actually hear. Belle had finally opened up to someone and had her heart broken, I needed to do this carefully.
A passing thought hit me like a ping of anxiety, and I lifted my phone again, typing my password and pulling up the last message again. I reread it, mouthing it out as I did so, but keeping my voice nonexistent. I leapt to my feet, resulting in an uproarious protest from Belle.
"Raph what the fuck!?" I searched frantically for clothes, my brain moving a million miles per second, and my hands practically shaking from the sudden fear.
"We have to go, right now!" She looked bewildered, but didn't argue as I slipped on a pair of pre-worn jeans and a T-shirt covered in paint stains and puncture-holes from various projects at school. We were out the door thirty seconds after jumping to our feet, and then to the lab entrance, pushing past any technicians in our way while Belle apologized.
Outside, I was in a full-scale run toward Clover's house, which I had only ever seen once in the span of knowing her. Belle continued to try prying my frantic behavior from me, but I was too busy dialing, hanging up, and redialing to listen. Again and again I tried Clover's number, to no avail, and I felt a horrible sensation bubble within my stomach as I feared the worst. It took ten minutes to arrive at Clover's family farm, and I had arrived a hot, sweaty mess, panting heavily but pushing through the burning in my lungs for the fear that drove me. I had called her cell phone twenty-seven times by the time I reached her front door and rang the doorbell, and my ears were ringing from the blood rushing through them. I looked like I had outrun a cheetah, and I didn't even care.
I had explained the situation to Belle, by now and she, too was frantically crying at the prospect of her first real friend having taken her own life. No answer came from the front door, and I noticed that the only vehicle in the dirt driveway belonged to Clover. She was home, but not answering the door. Our fears mounted higher as we exchanged worried looks. I tried the door, finding it locked, and began to immediately slam my shoulder into it, taking the brunt of the force on my side of the body. Belle protested, at least out loud, but she was as desperate as I to get inside.
My lungs felt like fire, my body was clammy with sweat, and my heart was beating so fast I thought it might explode. I was on the verge of tears, when I suddenly felt the old door crack at the hinges, one of which splintered and separated from the wall. I continued to crash my bulk against it, my shoulder feeling bruised as deeply as the bone itself, until it finally caved in, landing on the hardwood floor with a cacophonous crash.
The inside of the house was, to put it simply: a pit. There was discarded garbage and clutter everywhere. Photos hung on the wall, though it didn't feel like any of them belonged to Clover or her family. There was no time to explore, though, and we ran up the stairs and started quickly opening and closing doors, in search of, what we feared to be, the worst. The third door in the hall opened to a large bedroom, filled on every wall with shelves sporting books, game paraphernalia and various trinkets. There was a twin bed with black-and purple sheets and dressings, and a floor littered with discarded clothing and an occasional empty can of soda. On the walls hung large posters portraying various metal bands including some popular artists and others that were more underground.
I spotted a large bump in the bed, ascertained it to be our friend, and quickly rushed to the bedside, practically tripping over the largest bra I'd ever seen. Any other time, I would have wanted to study it first-hand, but I was too exasperated to even consider it at that moment. I pulled back the silky black comforter, revealing the messy hair, tear-crusted cheeks and unclothed shoulders of our once-companion. She didn't stir, and I quickly searched for signs of her attempts.
Spotting a nearby bottle, I read over its label, "...Sleeping aid, Belle these are sleeping pills!" She didn't even look at the bottle, but rather rushed to her phone to immediately call an ambulance. As she did so, she slipped her paw against Clover's chest, pressing it down below the comforter to feel for a heartbeat. I could feel everything, and was relieved that a telltale warmth of body heat met her paw. She was alive, and the subtle bump of her heart against Belle's paw helped ease my mind further.
"Yes, I need an ambulance, immediately to One- Fifteen Sentrypoint Circle. Our friend attempted to commit suicide..." When she paused, I could barely make out the voice of the emergency director asking further questions. "Sleeping pills... I'm not sure how many, Raph hand me that bottle."
I did as instructed and waited, just as I heard a light moan from below us. "Okay she had..." There was a long pause as Belle looked slowly up from the bottle, glaring at me with an expression of disbelief, "Raph this is melatonin!"
I looked confused, "What about it? It's a sleeping pill?" Clover's eyes opened, after a bit of blinking, and she peered up at the lit room, confused. It took some time for her vision to come into focus, and I could hear the operator continuing to try and gain Belle's attention. Belle hissed a 'never mind, my brother is an idiot' into the phone before hanging up.
Clover looked confused and a bit scared, clutching her comforter to herself, "H-how... why are you here?"
I wasn't sure what was going on, so I did the only thing I could think of, and wrapped my arm around her neck as she lay on her back, pulling the comforter up to keep her, obviously nude body modest. "Thank god you're alive!"