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White Elephant

By Shalion

Part One

Nathan squirmed in his seat, the folding chair under him squeaking loudly and his large posterior bumping against one of his neighbors who politely pretended not to notice; though in fact she most certainly did. He was shifting his weight partially because the chair was too small for him - most were - but also because of excruciating boredom.

The heavyset man was in a room with about 100 other people, a seldom used conference room on the fifth floor of his nondescript office building which smelled of mildew and cheap carpet. It was the largest single room in the building, but still hardly sufficient for the assembled party. Many were standing and Nathan jealously guarded his seat despite the fact that he would have desperately liked to refill his plastic punch cup. He did not want to think about the prospect of spending the rest of the event on his feet, which would have added physical pain to the already barely tolerable tedium of the holiday.

"All right, let's have 45 come on up!" called the voice of Barbara in senior management. As with most group events, she was overly giddy and excited, but in an obviously false way. Wherever she looked in the crowd, the people who noticed returned equally false smiles of enjoyment. The contrast of the overachievers with the inattentive brought a small amount of wry amusement to Nathan as he sat and waited, barely paying attention to the wrapped packages people were opening at a fearsomely slow pace which became only slower when people inevitably decided to steal rather than take. In his right palm dangled a scrap of paper with a number written on it: "101."

Nathan supposed that it was theoretically the best number. He should be able to see nearly all the other gifts opened by then and have the best chance at stealing what he wanted. But there were two problems: first, the very best gifts would have already been stolen multiple times earlier in the game and declared "dead" by the time it was his turn, so he would not have any access to those. But second, and more importantly, Nathan could not imagine himself desiring anything that was on display now. It would be enough of a challenge to summon enough inner willpower to at the very least not appear like an ungrateful grinch when at last he was called, because the truth was that Nathan would rather be almost anywhere else.

Nathan did not like being around people in general. His large size always made him stick out in a crowd, and among his peers, it was not hard to see at a glance that he was the fattest person in the company by a large margin. The large man had a bad habit of sweating at the least provocation and in the close air warmed by so many people so close together, that was exactly what he was doing now. In fact, he was sweating so much on his face that the drips were close to overrunning his eyebrows and into his eyes, stinging. One thing about working for a faceless conglomerate like Berkley Inc. was that Nathan was constantly worried about appearances, particularly in regards to his weight and he hated being in a position where it was accentuated, particularly in plain view of the upper management. Nathan had prided himself on his skills of invisibility, at least insofar as a man of his size can disappear into the cogs of a corporate monolith.

So the prospect of being fired for appearing fat, lazy, and useless hung over his head, but that might have been alleviated if the presents themselves had been more exciting. The main problem here, though was a strict $10 price limit. Nathan himself could not imagine a single item that he might like for under $10 that he had not already bought for himself. Nor could he imagine what another grown person might want for that amount. And judging by the selection of 'gifts' on display so far, he was not alone in that regard.

Nearly all of the presents were gag-gifts. Small animatronic dolls with a piercingly annoying song were among the most popular. However, there were more odious bombs. A woman unwrapped a can of beans and the one after her discovered a pair of fingerless gloves shaped like men's underwear. There were also bacon-waves, and selfie-sticks galore. A small, mousey secretary received a bottle of ghost pepper hot sauce with a label covered in skulls and even a tiny coffin cozy. People were stealing the worst presents as jokes and laughing about it, but Nathan could not get into the mood himself. Maybe it would have been better if he had had any friends here.

As the number of dead gifts increased, the excitement died down a little and people settled into the idea of keeping the stupid little trinkets they held in their hands. Try as he might, Nathan could not pull himself out of his doldrums and sat in the back of crowd with a vacant look on his full-cheeked face until finally...

"...One-hundred and one!" shouted Barbara in a slightly hoarse tone, even her peppiness had toned down over the hours of "entertainment." Nathan shook himself to his senses, though he had not truly been dozing, that would have been crossing a deadly line with so many eyes in the room. But he had been startled, which was more than he would have liked. Barbara had apparently skipped through several numbers he hadn't noticed since there were people absent or possibly had ditched the party altogether. Nathan smiled, stood up with an audible creek from his knees and smoothed his shirt and pants.

He made a show of walking around the room and examining all of the admirable presents on display that he might like to steal. His mood made the acting difficult, but at least it was well practiced. Finally he turned to the long table which was now almost completely empty. His own small present, a pack of chocolates from a chocolatier he was particularly fond of, was long gone despite the drab packaging. Nathan had half hoped that it would go overlooked, but instead he was presented with a choice of a tiny ball about the size of a mouse and something in a brown paper sack that appeared to be leaking slightly through the paper, judging by the dark stain on one corner. Needless to say, Nathan took the tiny gift. He turned back towards his seat, but saw that Jeff from Sales had already claimed it, _Bastard, _ thought Nathan with malice.

He wanted to go immediately, but remembered belatedly that he had to at least show everyone what he'd got. He unwrapped the paper and found a crumpled ball of paper, one of the most inauspicious gifts yet. He received cheers from most of the men as he held it up between thumb and forefinger. Someone shouted, "What does it say?"

Nathan reluctantly peeled apart and flattened the wad until he could read what was written on it. Rolling his eyes, he said, "One free wish."

There was applause from the crowd. Nathan definitely had a strong contender for 'worst' gift. At least he could have eaten a can of beans. Despite this, however, he would not even have the small pleasure of a stealing war because he was indeed the last person to pick a gift. Despite there being an extra gift, everyone present had chosen something and had in their hands the proof. It was generally agreed upon that someone had left in the interim and the brown paper sack was left in the common room for anyone to pick up if they wanted; no one did, and it was thrown away three days later after it began to smell, but the stain it left on the table cloth where it laid lasted long after that.

Nathan tottered back to his desk and collapsed gratefully into his extra wide office chair. He felt nothing but relief that the episode was over, though he regretted not at least considering stealing the secretary's hot sauce as he might have wanted to experiment with it cooking at home. He forgot entirely about the 'free wish' card in his pocket until he got home later that evening.

It was something of a relief to get out of his business casual at home everyday. The buttons on Nathan's 5XL shirt almost popped open over his burgeoning middle. He'd given up on belts several months ago in favor of suspenders, and thus saved himself another source of discomfort, but it was always a pain finding pants large enough to accommodate the great paunch he had grown as well as his rounded, generously portioned bottom. He'd in fact, been experimenting with wearing his pants 'under-gut' as he thought of it, especially with his older, smaller wardrobe, but could only do it with a longer than usual, and well fitting shirt. No matter what he did, however, nothing felt as good as stripping to his underclothes and usually discarding the undershirt as well. Nathan often stopped to look at his broad chest, liberally coated with dark hair in between the full, plump man-tits under his arms. He never disliked what he saw and he liked the feel of his unrestrained belly bouncing with his steps while in his apartment as well.

So Nathan stood, mostly naked, as he emptied out the contents of his pants pockets onto the dresser before tossing the pair into the hamper. His eyes came across the paper again as he was walking to his computer though, and he gave a small derisive snort of amusement. He grabbed it in his chubby fist with full intention of tossing it into the wastepaper basket. And he would have too, save for a small detail he had failed to notice earlier as he scoffed at the gift in public. There was some more text written on the card, below the bold text that read "One Free Wish." It was not words, exactly, but Nathan recognized what it was anyways, a Skype address. He mouthed the name under his breath as, out of pure curiosity, as he typed it into Google, "MagicSexFox5656."

"Probably a goddamned furry..." he muttered and his suspicion was rewarded as he found the user's public profile. However, there was not much to see, other than a surprisingly realistic profile picture of an anthropomorphic fox, gender listed as "other" and a banner saying "No friend requests accepted." Near the bottom of the page it also stated "Last online ~1 min ago."

Nathan's eyebrow lifted. That meant that the person was likely online right now. Nathan weighed his options in his mind. He really ought to just close his browser and open Minecraft as he had been intending to do from the start; Castle Skull was not going to build itself after all. He was also not in the habit of reaching out to random people on the internet, in fact, he was hardly in the habit of reaching out to anyone period. On the other hand, someone had left the grubby note at work, which meant that in all likelihood "MagicSexFox5656" was someone he already knew, or at least an acquaintance of someone he already knew. And since he'd publicly accepted the gift, they were probably expecting him to contact them. Of course, they almost certainly only intended to further prank the person who selected the gift. But in Nathan's experience, being the butt of a good natured prank won more social points than stiffly refusing to engage. And in terms of keeping one's job, Nathan thought it was far better to be the receiver of a joke than be the guy set apart from everyone else. It was the guys with no ties to anyone who always got cut first. Nathan knew this because he'd been one of those guys on more than one occasion in the course of what amounted to his "career."

So with a resigned sigh, Nathan logged into Skype, not bothering to use a pseudonym, since, again, whoever was on the other side should already know him. His fingers lingered over the keys, but eventually he found himself entering in the absurd username and sending the contact request.

To his surprise, it was almost immediately answered, as if the other person had really been waiting for him; it was a little odd, honestly, Nathan had only just gotten home less than an hour ago. The other person should have gotten off work at the same time, or else they were related to or otherwise were acquainted with someone at the party instead.

"Hello." typed Nathan blandly. The profile picture of the anthro-fox continued to stare at him, the fur on its nude shoulders standing out in as much or more definition than that recent Disney movie which had boasted millions of individual hairs per character; honestly it looked more like a photograph than a drawing, a testament to how much people wanted to escape the mundane world, in Nathan's opinion. He admired the dedication the artist must have used, although he did not understand the sexual part so often talked about off hand in news and other media. That a man might want to have sex while in a fox costume or masturbate into a stuffed fox toy disgusted Nathan vaguely, though he would not have prevented anyone from doing as they liked in the privacy of their home.

The reply came after a few seconds delay. "Hey Nathan, what's up? Enjoy the party?"

_'Oh God, he uses comic sans.' _ groaned Nathan internally. But he wrote, "Just got home. Loved the party. I look forward to it every year." He couldn't help but roll his eyes even as he typed. Already he was trying to figure out who this was. Someone in Sales surely would like an elaborate joke like this, perhaps several someones.

But Magic Sex Fox wrote back, "No need to be sarcastic. He know how dull White Elephants can be. But I'm hoping you're looking forward to your gift."

Nathan started to write that he was, in a feeble attempt to play into the joke, but then deleted his post. Instead he wrote, "Should I be? I don't receive crumpled up notes everyday, but I think I would have preferred the hot sauce."

After a few moments, the other person responded, "No doubt, although I think you were hoping to get the chocolates you brought yourself, or were you too afraid to be seen eating those?" Nathan was rendered speechless for more than several seconds. Anger at the comment battled with bafflement. Nathan had not been made fun of for his weight since High School and the insinuation stung more than he thought it might, but more concerning was the mirroring of his own thoughts revealed in the comment. Nathan never spoke of his motivations or feeble social machinations while at work. Magic Sex Fox sent another message, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be mean. ;-P In fact, I want you to be happy. You were quite lucky to pick that present."

But the shock of the earlier comment had quite put Nathan out of the mood for the joke. Angrily he typed, "Is it luck to pick a present that 100 other people passed on? I'd say that's the opposite of luck. What am I supposed to do with a "free wish" anyways?"

Nathan was beginning to regret opening Skype, but he waited for Magic Sex Fox's reply. "Actually, I'd say it's less luck than fate. That grubby little gift you picked was destined for the person in that room who wanted it the most, although I suppose someone else could have accidentally picked it up. Maybe you picked it by accident yourself." Nathan read this, but made little sense of it. He thought that the joke was already beginning to go too far. "But as for what you do with a free wish, what do you think you do? Obviously you wish for something!"

"You can't expect me to believe that, really." Nathan typed quickly and followed up, "Who is this? This better not be Jeff."

There was no reply for many long seconds. But then, "I am not Jeff. We have not yet had the pleasure to meet, but perhaps we should."

Before Nathan could respond, the chat log was replaced by a black screen lit by a flashing telephone button as well as an enlarged portrait of that fox in the profile picture. Nathan accepted the incoming video call, but kept his own video off as he still was not wearing a shirt.

Nathan's eyes widened as the profile still was replaced by a live version of the same fox with the same photographic detail as in the picture. He was sitting in a leather computer chair and like the picture, was nude from the waist up, which was all that could be seen. His build was slender and masculine, but Nathan paid far more attention to the eyes, which appeared almost moist and lifelike as well as the mouth and teeth and tongue. Nathan had never seen such a lifelike recreation outside of a movie, and what he was seeing now... seemed almost too lifelike to be real. Then he breathed a sigh of relief. Of course the other person was using a motion capture program. His computer had to be top notch for such smooth movement of the fingers as he clasped his hands and the tips of the ears which twitched occasionally. Although Nathan had no idea why someone would go to the trouble of replacing their digital self so completely and yet leave the smallish, plain looking bedroom behind him.

"Hello Nathan." intoned the fox on the computer screen.

"Uh, hello." said Nathan into the microphone. He was still studying the image. He could not guess what program Magic Sex Fox was using. He could see no signs of clipping or other distortions in the video, so it must have been very expensive. He thought that maybe he should take this conversation more seriously. He laughed nervously, "I wasn't expecting to be interviewed by an actual fox."

"Well, we're not interviewing yet. You still need to turn on your video."

"Alright, lemme go grab a shirt real quick." said Nathan, already pulling himself out of the swivel chair.

But the fox spoke immediately, "No! You're just fine the way you are, Nathan."

The large man sat his plump rump down on the chair again and frowned at the screen. Crossing his arms over his ample breasts, he spoke, "Is this some kind of sex thing? Because I'm not a furry."

The fox on the screen chuckled slightly, Nathan could see his diaphragm move and outline the bottom ribs beneath the fur on the man's thin chest. "No, this is not a sex thing," the fox rolled his eyes up into a corner, "Not unless you want it to be, anyways. No, it's just important that I be able to see you. And besides I didn't think you were shy about your body."

Despite efforts to conceal his corpulence at work, Nathan actually was not that shy. He went shirtless at any swimming event, letting his man boobs and sometimes even his great belly hang out for all to see. When it came to people who did not directly impact his finances, he couldn't care less about stares or whispers. But then, surely this was in fact someone who impacted his work life, wasn't it? Nathan shrugged and decided that he might as well follow through on what he started. It was not like his shirt did much to hide the shape of his chest in any case as Nathan was indeed well endowed for a man, even for a man at his weight. He clicked his own video feed on. "There you go." he said, raising his hands and feeling the upper arm flesh dangle at his elbows. He then crossed his arms in front of his chest, his nipples pointing almost directly into the crook of each elbow. "Now, would you mind telling me what this is all about, because I'm almost fed up with this little joke."

"We'll get to that shortly, but first, I'd like to compliment you. You are quite the attractive man." said the fox.

Nathan snorted and reached up to brush the whiskers on his chin which he grew specifically to mask his bloated double chin. "I thought this wasn't a sex thing."

The fox raised his hands pleadingly, "Nope, just a compliment from one man to another." the fox seemed to think of something for he added, "Or so the saying goes."

Nathan crossed his arms again and said nothing.

"But to get to the point as you put it." said the fox hurriedly. He reached off screen and produced a black, leather-bound notebook which he consulted for some time, licking his fingers as he turned the pages quickly. Nathan was surprised the see the tiny glint of saliva on the fox's black clawed fingers. He really had seen nothing like the digital image on display now in his life. "He am a man - fox - of my word. I have the means to grant you pretty much any wish you desire, but I do have limited options and sometimes there's a cost involved."

The more Nathan looked at the video feed, the harder it was to convince his brain that he was looking at some idiot with a fancy computer program on the other side. For a brief moment, as the fox perused the pages, a great bushy orange thing swept past the background and Nathan did a double take as he realized that must have been the tail. This was beginning to feel too real. Nathan swallowed nervously before speaking. "Why are you doing this?"

For a moment, the fox was surprised, the eyes widened momentarily and the jowls peeled back to reveal the glistening jagged teeth. "Why I have to. It was part of my own arrangement."

Nathan could not stifle a laugh in his nose. "And that arrangement involves granting wishes?"

The fox bobbled his head side to side, "Ehh, it's a mite more complicated than that. But essentially yes. I have to grant people's wishes or else I'll lose everything."

Nathan laughed again, "Well, there are worse jobs, take mine for instance."

The fox grinned, "I suppose so. Are you ready then?"

"To make that wish you mean?" said Nathan. He was sarcastic, or at least he meant to be, but after he said it, he realized that a tiny part of him wasn't. He tried to crush that part down, he'd given up hoping a long time ago.

"Just that." said the fox with a perfectly serious expression, or at least as serious as a fox-man can look.

Nathan sighed, it did not seem like he was going to get the prankster to give up anytime soon and he was getting rather peckish for the pizza in his freezer. He threw his arms up in the air. "Alright, I want to live forever."

The fox did not look pleased with the first wish and consulted the notebook, flipping the pages hurriedly. "Er, sorry, can't do that one."

Nathan could not stop from chortling. He wondered if this was the prank after all. "What kind of wish service is this? I've always wanted to wish for immortality."

"You and lots of other people." said the fox now brushing the pages perfunctorily. "But as I said, He have limited power and for you, immortality is not on the table. Try something else."

Nathan rolled his eyes. "I want infinite money and a harem of women to please me."

The fox looked up at him over the brim of the notebook. "Am I supposed to take that seriously?"

"Am I?!" Nathan shouted into the camera, he leaned forward and felt his man-tits sliding around. He was still a little moist from earlier.

The fox covered his face with a hand - paw? - and spoke, "Infinite money does not make any sense, economically, I mean. As for a harem of women, that's technically possible, but not unless you're willing to have been born in a different country. And I'm pretty sure you're not ready for that sort of adjustment."

The fact that this person was taking these wishes so seriously was disconcerting. Where was the joke in all this? Was he really trying to get him to believe in this garbage. And why for fuck's sake was he showing himself as a fox of all things?! Nathan could not bring himself to talk again for several long moments.

The fox lowered the notebook and put it down on the table below the computer. He looked plaintively into the camera. "Look, I get this reaction a lot. You don't really want to consider that you might actually have your wish granted. I know it's a lot to take on faith all at once. I didn't believe it myself at first either." The fox slapped his thin chest with his hands, Nathan could hear the usual thud of hands on flesh, but also the rasping of the rough pads on fur. "I didn't believe that I could be a fox like I'd always wanted to be, but here I am. There was a reality where what I wanted already existed. I just had to believe that it was there." The fox placed his hands on what Nathan assumed were his thighs out of sight of the camera. "I just need you to believe for a few minutes, or else you are going to be so unhappy or always regret this missed chance."

Nathan was tempted to end the Skype call right then, before he was tempted into revealing too much of himself, but he could not bring himself to do it. He had thought hope for anything better than the life presented to him had died a long time ago, but there it was, flickering feebly and he was ready to believe again, at least for a minute or so. He perused the video again and its startling lack of visual errors, the terribly real feel of the mundane bedroom which housed the impossible creature streaming to him. "So you're really a fox, then?" he asked with trepidation.

The fox smiled a toothy grin and licked his chops. "Yes."

"A magic fox." Nathan pressed.

The fox on the other side of the computer waved his hand carelessly, "I guess so."

"A magic sex fox?" Nathan asked this time with a grin of his own.

The fox answered with his own devilish grin, "Well, no one has complained so far."

Nathan closed his eyes, "I won't get into that. But as for my wish..." He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He'd thought about this very circumstance as no doubt anyone who had had a decent childhood might have. But nearly all of his favorite scenarios had involved multiple wishes whereas he was presented with just one right now. Nathan decided to take the most sensible course, one wish that could fulfill all his other desires. "I wish for enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life without working."

The fox across from him picked up the notebook and checked its contents carefully, skimming quickly to one section and then reading, paragraph by paragraph it seemed. He lifted his head up after a few moments, not unlike many other interviews Nathan had had in his life, "You said you don't want to work anymore, not even something that you like?"

Nathan considered this and found it surprisingly easy to entertain the prospect that this all might be really happening. Nathan had finished high school right in the middle of his class and had gone off the college without an idea of what he wanted to do with his life. Once there, he'd discovered that what he liked to do most was lie around and play video games and smoke pot. He never even tried to excel, it seemed like impossibly too much work, it was all he could do to keep from flunking completely out. By graduation, he had a degree in liberal arts and no more idea of what he wanted to do with his life than when he started. In the ten years or so since then that he'd been working, he'd come to the conclusion that he would only work as much as needed to survive, he'd never found in himself that which made other people try. Nathan could not imagine any profession he might enjoy, frankly; if he did, he wouldn't be himself. "No, I'd rather not work anymore from this point forward."

"Ok." said the fox and he returned to the notebook. In time, his clawed finger came down and tapped on one of the pages. "Mhmm..." grumbled the fox in his throat and he looked up again at Nathan, in particular from his face to the large set of man boobs partially propping up his arms and then the enormous swell of belly fat that separated them. "I think I found something. It'd satisfy your wish, but there'd be a major life change for you."

Nathan was growing more and more curious about the process of the wish granting that the fox kept hinting about and would now have very much liked to have seen the contents of his notebook. However, he just said, "What kind of change?"

The fox closed the notebook neatly in his right hand. "You'd weigh over 800 pounds."

Nathan was taken aback. It was as if the fox had reached into his mind for secret fantasies that he kept mostly hidden from everyone, even himself. What was the probability that of all possible "costs" that might be the one? That cost that he had imagined in passing, but dismissed as a practical impossibility during his emerging sexuality almost 20 years ago now. Nathan had not fantasized specifically about being super obese in many years, though he'd often thought about super-sized females. It was a forbidden longing. And 800 lbs too... Very heavy for sure, almost certainly too heavy. When he'd begun killing off the fantasy, he'd restricted himself to 500 lbs or less. But when he'd started, oh how he had longed for 800 lbs, 1,000 lbs, and more. It can't have been a coincidence.

"Nathan?" asked the fox-man.

Nathan spoke slowly, to keep the trembling in his mouth to a minimum. "You said that I'd have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life without work?"

"Well, yes. But you'd also weigh over 800 pounds. Are you sure that's something..." the fox paused and looked at Nathan's face. Then understanding smoothed the fox's features. "Yes, money enough to live comfortably for the rest of your life, no work."

"Then that's it." Nathan breathed. His brain felt hot, but he forced himself to stop thinking, forced himself not to think about consequences or complications. He just wanted it. "That's my wish."

The fox clapped his hands together. "All right then. That's all I needed from you. Now it's time for me to get to work."

"Wait, is that it? When is it supposed to happen?" insisted Nathan. His brain was refusing suppression now. Was this all some terrible prank after all? Would this be a video on Youtube within the hour?

The fox grinned, "Just relax, big guy. You don't need to do anything else. You'll know it's worked when you wake up tomorrow."

But Nathan wasn't satisfied. Suddenly the questions he'd wanted to ask earlier leapt to the forefront of his mind, the insane questions: "How are you able to grant wishes?" "What is the mechanism?" Why these strange limitations and unrelated costs?" However, he blurted none of these things, instead, he asked, "What's your name?"

The fox smirked, "You took your time with that one, but then many don't even bother. It's Douglas, just Douglas." Nathan was about to ask more, but then the fox stood up, revealing that he was completely nude the whole time and rather than a cartoon style smooth patch of skin at the groin, he had a fuzzy white shaft like that on a dog and as he moved a bright pink tip could be seen emerging and then receding from inside the sheathe. Then the video feed was turned off.

Nathan sat there staring at the black screen even after MagicSexFox5656's status changed after a few moments to "Offline." What had he just done, if anything? The only thing Nathan was certain of after the encounter was that "nothing" would be a highly improbable outcome of this affair, for better or worse.

Nathan ate the entire frozen pizza as he'd wanted. One thing he could not stand nor manage were diets. The rest of the evening was spent in restless confusion. He tried playing Minecraft, then quit after being killed by skeleton archers. He tried watching television, but kept getting up either to use the bathroom or steal snacks from the kitchen. He ate a lot after the pizza, it calmed him somewhat and passed the time. He tried reading when it started getting late, but his mind kept returning to the encounter, every moment starting from when he entered in the username, no before, back to when he picked out the gift from the table. Nathan tried to remember everyone else who had gone before him, who possibly lingered over the tiny gift. That was impossible, but he did know for a fact that the gift had been there already as most of the staff had shuffled in to load the table with their gifts. Nathan knew because he had placed his chocolates merely one gift over from where it lay when he put his down. It did not appear by magic as far as he knew.

But did that mystery matter? So what if someone he knew had left it there or if it had materialized on the table before he'd got there. If what the fox-man - Douglas - said was true, he would not be seeing any of those people again, none were his friends, mere acquaintances and worse, people he only tolerated or obeyed. And if when he woke, nothing was different and he had to return to the same work place except everyone would be chatting about his man-boobs on the internet? Well, it was not ideal, but Nathan could find another job, be a cog in someone else's machine, possibly in another state...

"Ugh..." groaned the large man as he considered the consequences of a prank video. But eventually, he drifted off into a strangely deep and dreamless sleep.