Island of iron
#8 of The wonderful misadventures of Sergei Freeman
Island of iron
We were walking towards the lab, after taking a five minute break to sit down and rest, when I noticed something odd: "The islands rigged to blow! There's high explosives, most likely some semtex, rigged with the blast line heading into the mine! We need to get out of here, and fast!" I shouted. Somebody then leaped out from behind an old pile of girders, and shouted "I rigged them, and they aren't supposed to even destroy an eighth of the island, I've rigged it to cave in the old mineshafts, because of the horde of those things my employers call "UB Blade", or what is actually called Kartana! My co-workers went in there, laying the blast charges, a-and I-I was the only one who made it out without being swarmed by those Japanese, sword origami motherfuckers! My-" "WHO DO YOU WORK FOR!" I interrupted, pointing my rifle at him. "Sorry, my employers are the International Police, and I could ask the same thing for you." Lt.Wade explained (though it was longer than he should have made it) that we were the response team sent into investigate the anomalies. "Well, sorry about that, I guess that explains why you're armed to the teeth, and have a weird attack dog with you. What species is it, I'm curious?" I stared at him and said one word: Mew. "Wait, what did you say? Did you say Mew, as in THE Mew?" I nodded.
Continuing on our way, we found a few more survivors (five to be exact), all with the same story (except for one, who said he was burning the Kartanas, with a flamethrower, while his friends escaped by boat.): they all were once part of a larger group, but they were the only survivors of their group, because they weren't targeted by the "UB"s for some reason. All were headed to the lab for the prototype experimental weapons being tested. Which apparently had the world's worst kept government secret: Handheld superweapons... God killers. Handheld railguns that could go through an entire row of reinforced skyscrapers, and the bullet would come out on the other side with still enough power to go through a massive fallout shelter, a flamethrower, that instead of shooting out red hot flames, the flames cause chemical burns with chemicals that turn the fire grey at the end of the gun, and then lime green after a foot of grey flames. And another inverted flamethrower, but instead of different colors, it shoots out liquid helium. As well as the most gruesome one: An old shell casing, but instead of exploding outwards like normal, it implodes and creates a wormhole. They dubbed it Red Shift, because it caused just that (Not an increase in communist activity, but an increase in wavelength that tears a hole in reality. It send everything in the area into the distortion world, or quantum tunnels them to another area on the planet. (Or a completely different one for that matter.)), It was also blamed for the disappearance of people, ships, pokemon and the arrival of the Ultra Beasts. It was some top quality mystical shit.
"So, how did the Origami things even get here?" I asked Sasha the Mew. "I don't know, maybe it has to do with the apocalypse originating in Alola. Anything is possible, right? There's more species of those out there, I know that for sure... I don't think some of them can be killed." Sasha said in a tone that sounded like "He" was hiding something. "That's what Shaun said about the shamblers...He was wrong. Anything, as long as you put enough bullets in in, can be killed. Sometimes, you have to hit it where it counts. That reminds me, what is the other reason you like that body?" I said in a quiet tone. "I like it, because it attracts less attention than being-" Lt.Wade interrupted, "Sergei, I've seen a horde of those bastards coming over the hill, there's only a quarter mile left till the lab, we need to run. And FAST!" He put emphasis on the last word, because he noticed that there was a horde of the Original survivors (The insane ones), about to start blocking our path. They looked different. They had minor injuries that made them look like a crash test dummy after weapons testing, and they weren't even in pain, they were insane! "This reminds me of Resident Evil: Vendetta, for some reason, but I don't know why... OH WAIT! It's because of that dickless shithead in the middle. Aim for the head, and remember what all zombie games tell you: twice in the head, and they stay dead" (One time I was playing fallout, and a BOS knight said that, and then got killed by a reanimated ghoul he just killed.)
"Why settle for a headshot, when you can blow the entire body apart? I mean, I FOUND A FUCKING GRENADE LAUNCHER!!" I shouted, while loading the 40mm grenades into the GL6 (or more accurately, a Milkor MGL (The MGL stands for Multiple Grenade Launcher)), "Where- no, when, did you get that, we could've used it five seconds ago, when we started fighting the horde of Ebola victims!" Ivan yelled, referring to the Ebola like symptoms (i.e. insanity) that the portal storm caused on the survivors. "Amy, Janet, Sasha! Get in your balls, I don't want you to see what I'm about to do! You're too young to see what I'm about to do, even you Sasha, even though you're ancient!" I shouted at my pokemon. "Sergei, We need to make sure you'll be fine when we're in our balls! I have to be able to know if you will be able to help me with my problem, and Janet's cytoplasm infection!" Amy shouted at me. "I have a grenade launcher, I'll be more than fine! And once I'm done, then I'll let you back out, okay!" I shouted back to Amy. "Fine! Just promise me you'll survive, I'll never forgive myself if I let the man I love die without me!" Amy shouted, reminding me of my love for her. "I won't die here, it takes a lot to kill me, or incapacitate me, I'll be fine. I love you Amy. If I ever die, know that I love you." I then, reluctantly, pulled out their pokeballs, and recalled them.
"At least we dealt with one of two problems. I don't think the origami swords wouldn't have heard all the gunfire - and, they're here. We can make a last stand at the lab fifty yards (Due to this being an american site, I didn't put 45.72 meters like I would for many reports.) away, it's that concrete building with the heliport over there!" I shouted. "We'll make a last stand there, good idea, because, THEY CAN CUT THROUGH FUCKING STEEL, BY JUST WALKING INTO IT, AND CONCRETE ISN'T THAT MUCH DIFFERENT!" Mew shouted. "Got any better ideas?" "Umm... No."