Blinks (Nick)

A dreamer's first "Time is all it takes."

---

If there's one thing that hasn't changed in over a half-millennium, it's the lack of parking space at public buildings. The downtown library lot is already full, and it's not even noon yet. I growl to myself as I finally find a spot about a half mile away from the library. My car smoothly wiggles its way in between two other cars and shuts off. I start walking, hands crammed in my jacket pockets.

This fall marks the beginning of another semester of school in Merida, which means a high demand for tutors like me. It's easy to find rich parents who are willing to pay an exorbitant amount of money for tutoring even if their kids' grades don't improve in the slightest.

I arrive at the library entrance and walk through the automatic doors. I pick a table near the window so that I can jump out if worst comes to worst. I still have a few minutes, so I check my phone while I wait for my tutee of the hour. I scroll through the news and a headline catches my eye: "Prime Minister to Issue Sanctions against Elysium Corp for 'Reckless Disregard for Safety Standards.'"

Years ago, I would have known what my dad was planning to work on before he announced it to the public, but nowadays I'm on equal footing with the rest of Reverie. The youngest of four, I was born when he was still a senator preparing to campaign for Prime Minister. I grew up during his first two six-year terms, and now that he's on his third, it suffices to say that I wasn't the focus of his life. I know it's not that he didn't care about me, or didn't love me, but sometimes it just felt that way.

Feels.

Felt.

Ah, what the hell. I guess it doesn't matter now.

I hear a female voice. "Hey, are you Nate? I'm Sara."

I look up at the she-wolf. She's casually dressed and carrying a textbook. "Hey, yeah," I say with little thought behind the words. "Nice to meet you."

She sits down in the seat across from me. "I'm okay. I've been doing fine in most of my classes except math. It's just hard for me to wrap my head around, you know? I didn't do great on my first exam so here I am."

She uses too much perfume.

I glance at her textbook. "Mhm. So, you're in calc?"

"Yeah. Calc 3. We just finished vectors and stuff, and now we're doing quadratic surfaces."

I ignore her verbal mishap. "Yeah, quadric surfaces can be a pain since they're not always easy to visualize. Is that what you want me to help you with?"

"Actually, I had a question on this physics problem..."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

About a half hour later, I've finally gotten her to understand why she can't use Gauss's Law on a cube. Mission success, I guess. I've also noticed that she's been looking at me while I've been trying to explain physics to her. We're the same species, so it's not hard to tell that she's... interested. It takes some effort to ignore her wandering eyes--those kinds of relationships are super inappropriate. Not to mention that I can't imagine myself with a girl like her. Or girls in general. Too much perfume.

With the hour-long session coming to an end, she thanks me and gets up to leave, smiling and posing suggestively. I look away to check my schedule for the day. Thankfully, the rest of it is empty. I sigh, relieved.

The library is noticeably much busier. I reach in my bag for the ham sandwich that I packed this morning. It's slightly soggy, but food is food. I take a few bites when a swift fox wanders over and puts his paw on the back of the chair.

"Hey, this spot open?" He wrinkles his nose as the lingering scent of perfume hits him.

I smile apologetically. "Yeah, sure. I'm Nate, by the way. And sorry about that scent. I just had a student who put on way too much perfume."

The fox grimaces and sits down. He takes out a sub sandwich with a logo of a nearby fast food place. "You're a tutor, then?"

"Yeah. Gotta pay the bills somehow."

He raises his eyebrows like he's surprised. He pauses for a moment and swallows. "What subjects?"

"Mostly math, physics, stats. Occasionally chem if it's simple enough."

"Nice, my favorites!" he exclaims, sitting up abruptly. "You here every week?"

"Yeah, but I haven't seen you around before," I remark in between bites.

He finishes eating the last of his sub. "I grew up here, so I decided to come back and see if anything's different."

"Oh yeah? Is anything different?"

His light brown eyes meet mine. "Well, there's at least one more handsome wolf now," he whispers softly but with confidence, "than there was back then."

I blush and instinctively look away, turning my head toward the window. Suddenly I wish it were open so I could jump out. I open my mouth, but close it awkwardly when I can't think of anything to say.

He grins at me as he puts on his jacket. "Same time next week?" He winks at me and saunters away, tail swishing.

I can't let him get away. "Hey, wait!" I call, running after him. I catch up to him and he regards me, eyes wide. "H-hey, I never got your name," I expel, somewhat winded. "Or your number," I add, feeling rather exposed.

His eyes briefly flicker to the ground before he recomposes himself and offers his paw.

"Nick."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

My phone pings as it receives a text from Nick. Hey.

I text back, smiling. Hey yourself.

A short pause, and a new text arrives. Dinner at 8??

And I thought I would be the one asking him out. Sure, where?

His next message arrives a few minutes later. Secret!

Appended at the end of his message is a winky face with its tongue sticking out. Confused, my paw pads hover over the virtual keyboard as I try to come up with a reply. I settle with a simple question. Do I have to dress up?

Yeah, that ok?

Ok, I tap. He offers to pick me up and I accept, sending him my address.

A few hours later, my apartment door buzzes, signaling Nick's arrival. I hastily adjust my belt and brush the top of my head before heading over to open the door.

"Nice place," he remarks, walking in. He smells different, but not unpleasant--like almonds, I decide.

I'm rather relieved at that. My apartment is actually kinda small, so I can be a bit self-conscious about it. "Thanks. It's pretty cozy. So is this enough?" I ask, holding up the sleeves of my suit jacket. "I'm not the most fashionable wolf, so..."

"Nonsense. You look absolutely dashing," he gushes, adjusting my tie. "Are you ready to go? It's not too far from here by car."

"Yeah," I say with a grin on my muzzle. "Let's see what your surprise is."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

My jaw drops as I read the sign. Anthurium. "Uhh, isn't this place is rather expensive?"

"Oh, that's fine. It's on my company." Nick's ears perk up and he pulls me forward. "Come on, let's go inside!"

The attendant confirms our reservation and leads us through the restaurant. The lobby itself is surrounded by waterfalls and holographic displays of light. We pass by several large banquet rooms, separated by panels of electrochromic glass. Waiters carry dishes of exotic foods composed of ingredients from locations all over the charted galaxy. To say that I am impressed would be a huge understatement.

To my astonishment, the attendant takes us past the party rooms and up a flight of glass stairs into a windowed, gold-accented elevator. As if he were sensing my nervousness, Nick holds my paw in reassurance while we wait. We exit the elevator onto an open-roofed balcony with a beautiful view of the stars in the night sky. At the center of the balcony is a single cloth-covered table, candle-lit and complemented with a small, transparent vase of flowers.

He orders "yakitori, slow-burned over binchotan" for us to share and a glass of orange juice for himself. The waiter asks me if I want anything to drink, but I just ask for ice water. While we wait, I munch on the dates provided on the side and admire our surroundings. I could never afford such luxuries; at least not anymore.

I sit back in my chair, mirroring Nick's relaxed posture. "So... fancy place, huh?"

"Yeah, isn't the view great?" he says, with a dreamy look in his eyes.

I stick my tongue out at him. "Hey, you aren't exactly subtle when you check me out."

He laughs and replies, "Who says I'm trying to be subtle?" He leans forward and rests his cheeks in his paws. "The color of your clothes perfectly complements your fur, by the way. Are you that same shade of gray all around?" He winks.

I playfully slap at him. Our food arrives, and I sample one of the masterfully grilled slices of seasoned chicken.

"Holy crap. This is the best thing I've ever tasted in my entire life."

Nick grins. "I'm glad you like it."

I take a sip of water. "I didn't know chicken-on-a-stick could be so good." He giggles as he watches me wolf down another skewer. "Anyway, want to play a game?"

He tilts his head at me. "Aren't we already?"

"Shut up, you dummy. I'm talking about a different game."

"What are the rules?"

"The questions game. One of us asks a question, but we both have to answer it," I explain. "I can go first if you want."

"Alright."

I consider my options. "What's your favorite color?"

"Electric blue, like your eyes. You?"

"Mint green. Do you always flirt like this?" I ask, more curious than I am annoyed.

"Is that your question?"

I sigh, shaking my head. "You're too clever for your own good."

"Only sometimes." He smiles coyly. "Tell me about yourself. Where are you from? Got any family?"

I don't really want to talk about my dad. Oh, I'm just the Prime Minister's son, no big deal would probably be a bad way to start talking about myself.

"I'm just a nobody. I was born in Caleston."

"The domed city?"

"Yeah. But the only places I've travelled are on this planet. My family moved to Merida when I started high school, so I've lived here ever since. I studied statistics at the university here but never completed my degree, which is why I'm pretty much stuck tutoring those high schoolers."

I pause, and Nick nods for me to continue.

"My mom moved back to Caleston since it's warmer there. I don't have any siblings or anything." I start to feel bad for flat out lying to his face, so I change the subject. "Err, so what about you? What do you do? You said this was on your company?"

He looks at me in surprise, as if he knows I've lied to him and he expects better. "I work tech security for Elysium Corp."

Wow. No wonder. "Damn. Aren't you in a nice spot," I snort, saying it with a bit more force than I would have liked, and he shrinks back a bit.

Before I can apologize, he quietly answers, "I guess." He pauses for a while, and I sheepishly look away, feeling guilty.

"But it gets lonely sometimes. Work becomes your life, and you can never stay in one place for too long. There are a lot of things you can't talk about, and keeping all these secrets from people you care about makes them care less and less about you until they just stop caring altogether and you're all alone. I really wish I could start over, honestly. I would redo so many things, maybe choose a different career path, settle down in a nice town, live a quiet life with someone special."

He puts his paws in his lap and turns his head away. "But then again," he starts, looking up, "they say the grass is always greener on the other side." He smiles at me.

But his eyes are painful to look at. I want to shrink, run away, disappear, and I think Nick knows how I feel when he reaches for my arm and gently rests his paw on it.

Swallowing, I say, "You know, if we hadn't just met, I'd have thought you were going to ask me to marry you."

"What if I did?"

I look at him, searching for the sparkle in his eyes to tell me he's joking, but he only looks back, all serious. For a while, we just look at each other. Then he walks over and kisses me. My body is tingling electric as I deepen the kiss and my brain melts.

Our muzzles separate after a few seconds, and I ask, "You want to come back to my apartment?"

"Yeah. I think I'd like that."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Nick's paws are all over me as soon as the front door closes behind us. I lead him to the bedroom and opacify the window while he starts stripping. I carefully unbutton my shirt and throw it on the floor next to his. I pick him up and toss him on the bed, and join him as he loses his pants. Any uncertainty I have washes away when Nick kisses me. His tongue explores my mouth and I kiss back. Nick's paws make short work of my underwear and it joins the pile of clothes on the side of the bed. He climbs onto my lap and presses my shoulders into the soft bed. I feel him press his erection against mine, and I gasp.

Suddenly, I remember the pain. My body wants this more than anything right now, but I can't move. I'm frozen. I want him. Nick. The fox. You want this, my brain insists, and I sure as hell know I do.

But I can't.

"Nick, wait, hang on." I panic and sit up, and he falls back in surprise. "I don't know if--I don't know if I..." I trail off, ashamed. Now I've ruined everything.

He tilts his head and looks at me in concern. "Well, what do you want?" He squeezes my paws. My emotions bottle up in my throat and I can barely swallow them down.

"I want... you. But... I just..." I break, and I let the tears fall.

"Hey, it's ok." He buries himself into me, squeezing me.

"There's something else," I falter, gauging his reaction. It's dark, but I can tell when his pupils focus onto mine, caring and unwavering. "I'm not--who I said I was." Shame overtakes sorrow, and I turn my head away.

"No one ever is," he whispers, almost bitterly.

"I'm sorry, Nick, please don't leave me," I beg pathetically, meeting his eyes again.

His muzzle brushes mine in a brief kiss and rests on my chest. "Don't worry," he murmurs through my fur, "I'm not going anywhere."

He wipes the tears from my cheeks as I say, "Nick, I really love you. I'll be better next time, I promise."

"Hey, you're great, and I really love you too." He smiles, and I can't help but smile with him. The fox adjusts himself on the bed, pulling the heavy comforter over us.

He licks at my nose. "Night."

I giggle and poke his belly. "Night."

Time passes, and I lie on my back, eyes open, listening to his quiet breathing.

In, out. In, out.

For the first time in what seems like forever, I feel hopeful.

In, out. In, out.

He snuffles, and turns toward me so that his muzzle brushes my chest. He smells of almonds.

In, out. In, out.

I feel comfort as I curl into him, breathing in deeply and closing my eyes.

Maybe time doesn't heal all wounds, but this fox can.