FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Two weeks had passed since Jacob had parted ways with Sarah and he was now drinking whiskey at the bar of a seedy casino called the Atomic Wrangler in north Vegas, or Freeside as the locals called it. The journey to Freeside had been mostly uneventful, he had only had to sneak by some of the raiders to the west of Camp McCarran, called Fiends around here. He had been renting a room in the Atomic Wrangler for about a week, trying to get his footing and find a way to make a living.

He hadn't even stepped through the large gate that separated the Strip from Freeside, he didn't have the caps to get past the securitrons even if had wanted to. On the other side there was too much glitz and glamour, too many people out of touch with the real world as they gambled their caps away while people died outside the walls every day.

He had long got over the shock of finding a ghoul frequently doing a stand-up comedy routine, if it could be called that, on the stage to Jacob's back on the other side of a group of tables with cushioned chairs. He had also found that the whiskey there, while not the best tasting stuff, was more than capable at getting him drunk, which he had done just about every night since arriving. He sat there like he had for every night for the past week, a glass of whiskey in one paw, Joshua's ring in the other, as he reflected on his past and what he could possibly hope to do in the future.

Maybe he could join a caravan, they might want his survival skills and knowledge of the land, especially if it ran along the Long 15. Or maybe even that shop by the east gate would want his skills with repairing firearms. Jacob frowned, it didn't seem to matter. For the past seven years he wanted nothing more than to be alone, away from his old life; now that he was alone again, without Joshua, without Sarah, he felt...lonely. He snorted at his own stupidity and took another swig of whiskey.

Jacob's ears perked all on their own and his fur stood on end when suddenly a familiar tune drifted from the radio. He sighed and took another sip of whiskey.

"Maybe you'll think of me... When you are all alone..." Jacob found himself mouthing the words silently as he stared down at the silver and blue ring he rolled over in his fingers.

"Maybe the one who is waiting for you... Will prove untrue, then what will you do?" Suddenly a soft voice caught Jacob's ears, pulling them around to face the chairs behind him. It was a strangely familiar voice, matching the words of the song perfectly, although in a mournful sounding way different from the song's happier demeanor.

"Maybe you'll sit and sigh, wishing that I were near... Then maybe you'll ask me to come back again... And maybe I'll say maybe." Jacob turned on the footstool to find the voice emanating from a small group of several soldiers dressed in typical NCR uniform. Then he saw... Joshua. No, that couldn't be right. Jacob shook his head, trying to clear the alcoholic haze, but still there sat the German shepherd, staring down at a hand of cards in his paws.

"Maybe you'll think of me... When you are all alone..." Jacob stood, his whiskey forgotten and his heart thumping in his chest as he approached the group of NCR soldiers.

"Maybe the one who is waiting for you... Will prove untrue, then what will I do?" The soldiers looked up in surprise as he entered their midst, but he ignored them all save for the German shepherd.

"Maybe, you'll sit and sigh, wishing that I were near... Then maybe you'll ask me to come back again..." The shepherd seemed to go rigid when he looked up at Jacob.

"And maybe I'll say maybe." Jacob stared down at the shepherd, their faces close now. He stared deeply into the German shepherd's brilliant green eyes.

"Jake?" Daniel whispered.

Jacob said nothing as their muzzles seemed to slip together all on their own after several long moments. Jacob's eyes slid closed as Daniel's did and their tongues met, twisting about each other passionately. Jacob barely heard the whistles and whoops of the NCR soldiers, which drew the stares of the rest of the few patrons in the room. The kiss seemed to stretch on forever as Jacob's heart pounded in his chest.

Reality came rushing back as Daniel pulled away. "Uh, give me a few minutes, guys." he said as he got to his feet. He stood awkwardly in front of Jacob and opened his mouth to speak but the wolf motioned for him to follow. He led the way across the room and up the stairs, only dimly aware of everyone's stares and the soldiers' cheers. It was like everything was happening in slow motion, his limbs felt like blocks of lead; this couldn't be real, it had to be a dream.

He led them along the balustrade that overlooked the lounge and bar all the way to the furthest room from the staircase and unlocked it with his key and pushed it open. He stepped inside and Daniel snapped the door shut behind him.

"What the hell was that?" Daniel suddenly burst out loudly. "You can't just walk back into my life like... like nothing happened!"

Jacob stared at Daniel dumbly, unable to put the words together between the alcohol and the shock of finding Daniel again after so long. "I'm sorry." he said lamely.

"Sorry? That's it? You're sorry?" Daniel shouted. "After all those years of ignoring me and chasing Elizabeth when I was right there, caring for you like she wouldn't? All you have to say is "I'm sorry"?"

Jacob's gaze fell to the dirty carpet and his ears drooped. "I didn't know, I was stupid. I lied to myself... I didn't want to admit to myself..."

"You fucked me for god's sake! All the damn time!" Daniel cut him off. "I felt used! Like I was just a backup for when you couldn't get any with Elizabeth or some other girl. You didn't even fucking know why I was leaving..."

"I do now." Jacob said quietly.

This seemed to calm Daniel down a bit, and the shepherd sighed and paced along the wall. "When you bought me that album, I thought you had realized what you meant to me." Suddenly Daniel rounded on him again, jabbing a finger out at him angrily, but his wet eyes and cracking voice betrayed him. "And then you accused me of having no idea what it was like to be rejected by... by someone you love."

"Daniel..." Jacob said softly as tears started to stream down Daniel's muzzle while his own eyes began to grow misty. He closed the gap between them and enveloped the shepherd in a tight embrace. At first Daniel didn't move, and for a terrified moment Jacob was worried he would push him off and storm out the door; but then he felt the German shepherd's arms return his embrace tightly.

He held Daniel close as the shepherd broke down into quiet sobs, his body convulsing with each breath. "I'm sorry." Jacob whispered, tears dampening the fur of his own muzzle. They stood holding each other for a long time before Daniel finally released him, sniffling slightly. The shepherd peered at him for several moments before going and sitting down with a sigh on the large bed against the far wall of the room.

Jacob felt his gut wrenching uncomfortably as Daniel sat hunched over, his face resting in his paws. He went and sat down next to Daniel and stared down at the floor. "I fucked up, and I hurt you bad. I get it if you don't forgive me and never want to see me again... I just want you to know that I really am sorry."

Jacob waited quietly for a long time while Daniel held his head in his paws. When no answer came Jacob's heart began to sink down to his boots, he had to expect this. How on earth could Daniel forgive him, let alone want to even see him? He began to get up to leave the room, to just leave and get away... when Daniel's warm paw suddenly grasped his own. "Wait." Daniel said, his voice rough, and Jacob settled back onto the bed.

"Did you care all along?" Daniel looked back up at him, searching his eyes deeply.

"Yes." Jacob said quietly. "I lied to myself and I was stupid and chasing that girl..."

"You must have been hurting after you realized what you did." Daniel said. Jacob only nodded and looked downwards, surely the hurt he felt paled in comparison to what he had put Daniel through. Daniel lifted his paw and gently pushed Jacob's muzzle back upwards and searched his eyes deeply. "I forgive you." he whispered and pressed his lips to Jacob's.

Jacob closed his eyes and returned Daniel's kiss as his stomach felt like it rose back up from where it had been resting in his boots. Daniel's grip on his paw tightened and Jacob did the same while he caressed Daniel's face gently with his free paw. "Thank you." Jacob said softly when they finally withdrew. "I thought you were gone, all these years... I blamed the army for getting you blown up or something."

Daniel smiled. "Not quite. When I volunteered I was sent to Shady Sands where I went through basic, then they had me doing some minor stuff, a few skirmishes with raiders." Jacob tried to imagine Daniel fighting the raiders he had encountered on his journey, but he just couldn't see it. "Then, three years ago I was sent along to Camp McCarran after the New Vegas Treaty."

"Did you fight in the battle for that dam I keep hearing about?" Jacob asked.

"No, thank god. That was earlier this year, after I was transferred to the Military Police on the Strip." Daniel replied. "The army's been good to me, Jake. I don't make a lot of money but I've been saving it." Jacob nodded, indeed it had. "What about you? You look about as good as when I found you on the road outside Junktown."

"That bad?" Jacob said and looked down at himself. Although he had managed to clean his clothes, they were still ripped and patched in many places. "It's a long story." he sighed and began to retell his tale one more time.

He explained how he prepared to head to New Vegas and his journey through the wasteland, his capture by the humans of the Fort and meeting Joshua and the other captive morphs. He relived the fire and screams in the night as he told of their escape and how everyone else had died from the raider assault. He told of how he had captured Sarah and fled east, but he faltered when he got to the point where they reached Sweet Glen.

"What happened then?" Daniel asked quietly.

"We got to a small town." Jacob forced the words out. "We hadn't seen the raiders in a while so I figured we could rest and get supplies... I let my guard down." Jacob grimaced and looked down.

"While we were there... that's when I realized what I had done to you and..." Jacob looked back up at Daniel when the shepherd gave his paw a reassuring squeeze. "He comforted me, told me that I had to move on, let the past go. He looked just like you..." Jacob said with a small smile, his eyes growing wet once more as he remembered how he had told Joshua the same thing.

"He was my first friend since you left, the first one to care... I was sitting there in our hideout upstairs, drinking, thinking about you and how I fucked up... when he showed up. He brought me dinner and... and..."

"You had sex." Daniel said and Jacob was relieved though a little surprised that the shepherd wore a small smile. "Go on."

"The next day he gave me this. It's the same color as his eyes..." Jacob said distantly as he held out the ring hanging by his neck. "The same day... the same day, he was killed, in front of me. I couldn't save him... the Warden shot him in the head..." Jacob's eyes lost focus as he remembered all too vividly the events of that day. It wasn't until he felt Daniel's arms slip around him did he snap back to reality. Jacob continued with the story, explaining his flight with Sarah and the fight with the raiders and how they were saved.

"My god, Jake. I'm sorry about Joshua." Daniel said quietly.

"He helped me realize what I really felt for you, who I am... he cared." Jacob said and then asked, "You aren't upset?"

"I couldn't be. You thought I was dead, and without him you might not have figured yourself out." Daniel said and then sighed. "It wouldn't be fair. I admit, since being transferred to the Strip I've gone to a few prostitutes at the Gomorrha, even did a girl once."

Jacob eyed Daniel with disbelief. "You? With a girl? I mean..." It was hard to imagine Daniel any other way than on his back or bent over.

Daniel grinned. "I may have been on a bet, and really, really drunk."

Jacob opened his mouth to say that he must have been, but held it back. "Daniel, what do we do now?" he asked quietly.

"Well, my enlistment is up in about a month and I've had my eye on a decent apartment here in Freeside for a while and I got the money saved up..."

"You mean..."

"Jake, do you think I would have kissed you if I didn't want you?" Daniel said with a grin.

"No, I guess not." Jacob said and his paws went to the cord holding Joshua's ring. "I guess I should take this off then..."

"No." Daniel said firmly and pressed his paw to Jacob's chest, holding the ring in place. "You love him, and I wouldn't ask you to forget him. If it weren't for him, I don't think I would have you here now."

"Thank you." Jacob said. "I guess you'll want to go talk to your friends..."

"I think they expect me to be in here a while." Daniel said with a sly grin. "I wouldn't want to disappoint them."

Disappoint them he didn't, for an hour later they laid together naked, panting, and sticky on the bed, their clothes strewn all about the floor nearby. Jacob laid on his back with Daniel next to him on his side, resting his head on the wolf's chest. He held Daniel close, enjoying the warmth from the shepherd's body. He looked down and watched as Daniel breathed deeply and slowly, he must have fallen asleep.

He rested his head back on the pillow and held Joshua's ring up in front of his muzzle and ran his fingers over it. He felt like Joshua would be happy for him. He let the ring fall back onto his dark fur and sighed contentedly, as messed up as his past was, everything had fallen into place, the right place.

He had found what he was looking for. He had found his redemption.