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The night Rocco had gone to senior prom I'd stayed well out of the way. I had a Cardinals game to go see, which helped. I'd been glad, because I somehow knew it was going to bring out the side of Mum that made us all cringe, and it would be easier if I never had to see Rocco's embarrassment.

Mum ran a fur salon. Need I say more? She always had such ideas about what her kids were supposed to look like, and it was always supposed to be modest. Everyone else's, she'd put any style on them they wanted, and talk to them like it was the cutest thing ever that they were experimenting with what they looked like. Us? It was always 'Oh come on, that's not you. We can make you nicer than that.' God forbid any of us tried to avoid the whole thing by spending our allowance and going to one of her competitors.

Except, it turned out, on prom night.

'Oh,' Rocco said, with a surprise I almost thought was bigger than my coming out when I told him how much I was dreading the prep day. 'You've got it wrong, bro. Listen up, you're going to see a side of Mum that comes out once in your life and once only. I call it Promnight Mum. She actually chills out and backs off and....I can't describe it. Just wait and see and trust me. You'll think you're either living on another planet or aliens stole Mum just for one night because they're your guardian angels or something.'

'This is...weird?' I said. 'What exactly happens?'

'Here's what you need to know. You're going to go to Buddy and Rosie's and get styled up, and you're not gonna tell her, and you're going to walk in the house and just see what she does. That's what I did. I couldn't even believe what happened.'

Buddy and Rosie's? Oh hell no, seriously? They were Mum's best friends since college. And biggest rivals. They always had this playful 'it's all a bit of a game' vibe going on, but anyone could tell the claws were always out when it came to who could do the best job, get the most customers, steal each others. That was Mum all over. Not to mention she always put the republican campaign posters in her windows at election time and Bud and Rose were democrats. The customers didn't care about politics, they laughed at it all as they swapped salons continually.

The only rule was that each others' kids never got caught in this. Because we never went to each others' places. Unless, apparently, it was prom night.

'This is a special one,' Rocco said. 'Percival's gonna go to Mum and Buddy and Rose get you. Trust me, I'm the fixer. And trust me again, they will know exactly what to do with you.'

I could feel my own eyes getting wide. 'You didn't-'

'Relax,' Rocco said. 'I said nothing, nada, zip.' He ran a finger over his lips. 'They'll know though.'

'This had better not be a joke.'

'Turn up at closing time, five PM. They'll be open for you.'

It was true. I could tell the two labradors almost didn't think I'd turn up, but it turned out Alfie had started this and then made Rocco do the same thing I now was. There were just whole new levels of weirdness I was still only discovering about this life. But it didn't feel weird. I stood there like I'd just found the meaning of life itself and knew I was going to sound stupid, but I was just going to speak my mind. And it helped that I knew the truth, along with everyone else: Bud and Rosie were married for business and for show. Because they'd had kids together even though they were both swingers and played both ways while they were at it.

'I want to feel good!' I said, like I belonged in some motivational prime-time ad. 'Apparently you guys know what to do. So what are we doing?'

'Oh this is just precious,' Rosie said. She took one of my hands and holing up my arm. 'And just look at this coat, I could work on this for hours_._'

'We've got one, honey,' Bud said. 'Two tops. He'll be picking up Courtney Vincent at six. I'll set your stuff up; we are going to make her melt for this guy.'

'Come on then,' she said, sitting me in the chair. 'Show Aunt Rosie what all those sports have done to what's under that shirt.'

'You want my shirt off?' I said. 'We're doing my whole coat? It's gonna be under a suit all night.'

'Yeah, but honey, how do you wanna feel under that suit? And imagine someone takes it off. What are they gonna feel? What's underneath has to be better than what's on top. Come on, how old are you now? Do not go for modesty on the best night of your life.'

That wasn't what this was going to be, but for a moment I almost believed it.

I went home barely recognising myself. Even though I'd watched the change all in front of the mirror, it was like morphing into a stranger for the purposes of spying, like in some sci-fi flick. I smelt like clay, peardrops and coconut from the waxes and gels Rosie used, and everything about my face looked sharp, slick, like I could get into an open topped vintage car and cruise down the block and it would look like me.

Next surprise: Rocco had picked up my prom suit and taken it to Bud and Rose's just to surprise me. I changed into it and then they did a final tweak to the style. I was speechlessly thankful, staring at myself in the mirror like none of this could be happening. I still didn't know what to say when I got out the cash Rocco had given me and they told me there was no charge.

'But...I...'

'Todd,' Rosie said. 'Money's worth far less than seeing the joy right now. I won't hear of a penny.' She took the notes from my hand and tucked them in the top pocket of my suit. 'Buy the nicest thing on the menu for that girl and be a gentleman.' She almost rubbed my head, but stopped herself from spoiling her work at the last moment. 'Darn, always the same thing every time,' she said.

'And don't drink beer,' Bud said as I was leaving. 'Go Margaritas. Or Mojitos.'

I didn't like beer or spirits, but tonight something told me I was going to have to try. Because short of a punch in the face nothing was going to bring me down to Earth. Especially not after getting home.

'Is that my boy?' Mum said. There was no faking this. She had her hands to her mouth and her eyes were wet already. 'Well my God.' Again, there was no pinching my cheeks or tugging my ears or rubbing between them. She looked but she couldn't touch, like I was in a beauty contest. 'Oran!' she called to Dad. 'Get the camera, we need pictures for the grandparents.'

Oh_no._ What happened to her being different? She was going to make me late. I just knew it.

Except she was different. Totally.

When she made Rocco get in some of the pictures with me, she didn't even tell him off when he kept making signs behind my head and pulling faces, she just kept taking the pictures, then had him do the same with her and Dad in them. When it came to dinner time, the rule that you had to sit at the table even if for some reason you weren't eating didn't apply to me tonight.

I sat there anyway, trying not to feel weirded out. I failed when Mum brought me a beer, and told me 'You sit here' pointing at the chair next to Dad. That had always been Alfie's seat. We'd all guessed at why exactly she'd always left it empty, but tonight it was mine. She didn't even ask what everyone had done with their day. It was like she was dreaming. When Felix accidentally burped and our two younger sisters copied him, she laughed.

I could help it no longer when she went out for the desert. I looked at Dad, then at Rocco and whispered 'What the fuck?'

'Don't ask,' my father said, winking. 'Just enjoy.' He looked at the beer I wasn't drinking. A few sips had made me feel icky. 'I got this,' he said, and sank half of it for me.

I thought I caught the meaning, and sat there like a goldfish, hoping Rocco could confirm it. Sure enough, he sniggered. Dad, still wearing his work clothes, straightened up his tie, and noticed his top button was still undone. Many of the others didn't know why they were now sniggering too. Me, I was just happy. Not even thinking about what might come later.

'What's funny?' Mum said, coming back in the with the bowl full of pitted peaches. 'Did someone tell a joke?'

Felix smirked. 'Todd said f-'

'Felix, I think it's your turn to serve up.' Dad said.

Felix always wanted to serve up dessert. If only because somehow he got away with giving himself a slightly bigger portion. Just to make the younger ones yell 'He's got MORE than me!' Tonight, Mum just smiled all the way through it.

'We gotta go, Bro.' Rocco said. 'The car's here.' We could all hear it. No need to ask Mum's permission to get down tonight, she was already waving us out the door before I knew it.

Joe, Rocco's boss, a wirey lion with oil-stained pads, was already there. Along with his most prized possession. 'Now you know the deal, raccoon.' He held the keys up over Rocco's outstretched palm. 'Don't you fuckin' scratch her. And no hanky panky on those leather seats. And if your little bro can't hold his liquor you make him walk home.' He put the keys in Rocco's palm and closed his fist for him. 'But just so I know, why aint he renting a limo like everyone else?'

'Because I'm smarter than that,' I said. I wasn't even into cars, but anyone could have seen this was seriously cool. I was so smart I really had done what Courtney asked for: talked Rocco into borrowing this car. It was worth about two hundred grande and Joe Cassano never lent it to anyone. Except the new apprentice who was impressing him a little more than all the others. Needless to say though, I was still in major debt for this. Supportive brother or not.

* * *

Courtney opened the door to me and regarded me from head to toe as if this were some sort of military inspection. 'Yeah okay, not bad.' She straightened my collar up and tweaked the fur on my face in a couple of places, probably changing nothing. She smiled, and stepped back. 'Hey, Todd-boy. This really might not be so bad. You look like you made the effort.'

'Thanks. You're not bad yourself.' She was stunning,_a black fox in a white sequined dress._What Bud and Rosie had done to me in an hour was truly put to shame on her. Then I clocked it - they'd done her as well. They knew exactly how to make us look good next to each other. Shit, that was how they'd known who I was dating. I'd never thought to ask. Just figured it was high-schoolers on social media somehow getting noticed by the entire world.

It really should have made me want her. If there was ever a pressure test of who I was, this was it. She'd been right all along: all I wanted to do was hold her hand and have a nice time. Because what I really wanted to see was the made-up version of Colton.

God, if I'd been drunk this would have sobered me in an -

'Earth to Todd, anyone home? Your Mom take pics of you all dressed up?'

'Yeah. Yours?'

'Of course not,' she said. 'Not yet.'

'Why not?'

She sighed. 'Because my date's got to be in them, dummy. Come on.'

'There he is!' her mother Chantelle came in. She'd never spoken to me, even though she'd seen me at sports events and I'd certainly seen her, because she was the kind everyone saw, and it wasn't looks or money, it was the way she could work a room. She ran a wedding planning company, and right then it was like me standing next to her daughter dressed up to the nines was some kind of rehearsal to her. She fussed over both of us and it was like she'd known me for years, asking even more questions than my own mum's 'How was your day?' routine.

She took so many pictures I was amazed I had any eyeballs left after the flashes. Then she had to get Courtney's father in the pics. And oh hell...

When he walked in the room I felt even more weirded out than I did by my mum's behaviour earlier. Because Michael Vincent, who I'd never seen before, looked just like Colton, aged up about thirty years and dressed smart-casual in tight clothes - a tech CEO of there ever was one. He had glasses. If he took them off, I'd have sworn I'd travelled forward in time to Colton's fiftieth birthday party. He looked at me as he might have done a new computer prototype.

'Hmmm. Yes, I think he'll do.'

'Well get in the picture next to your daughter and him then,' Chantelle said. She snapped more pictures, faster than a desperate paparazzo. 'I'll put the timer on, hold on.' She got in the picture within five seconds and was already in the perfect pose.

'Should we get Colton?' I said. 'Maybe he should be in one of these.'

What had I done? I didn't know, just that I'd done something, because the whole room seemed still, like I was aware the camera had stopped rattling off pics. The two parents exchanged looks I couldn't read at all.

'Well sure, why not?' Michael said. 'I'll get him.'

Chantelle put out a hand and stopped him. 'It's alright, Mike.' She gave me the kind of look reserved for a stranger who didn't fully understand something. 'Colton doesn't like having his picture taken much, Todd. But it was a nice thought.'

So that was it. Photosensitive epilepsy. How had he always kept that hidden from people? All sorts could set it off, not just cameras.

'It's alright, Mom.' Colton came in now. I could never have said it to him, but he really didn't look so sharp in a suit. My heart should have gone thud at him done up like this. Instead I just looked at him, and I actually fancied I looked a better catch. I couldn't help but smile. 'Take a pic of me. Take loads.' He slid in between me and Courtney. His aftershave was enough to make up for the lack of wow-effect his suit had made. It smelt of diesel and brimstone laced with citrus. 'Hell, she's going with a raccoon,' he said. 'There needs to be at least one male fox in these pics.'

Michael just smiled and nodded. 'Hands up everyone, is there a suitable male fox in this pic right now?'

I was probably going to get burned for it later, but I kept my hands by my sides. So did everyone else.

Colton laughed. It sounded fake. 'I'm just kidding, trash-panda. You're alright.' He gave me a noogie. It messed up my head fur totally. No problem, Chantelle was already there with a comb. Then she combed her son's hair as well. She even licked her fingers and styled the fur on his cheeks a little. Credit to him, he just stood and took it.

Then I felt it again. As he stood with his arms around me and his sister, there was the claw up the side of my neck.

I must have imagined it. There was no way he could have done that and not had his parents notice. I hoped nobody saw me shiver slightly. I didn't want Colton wearing this suit he looked out of place in. Why couldn't he have just been a dick as usual and told everyone he'd just wear his skating gear?

So much for the photosentive epilepsy theory, the camera hadn't set Colton off at all. Except that he did look like something bothered him. Beneath all the posturing I could have sworn I caught something. Because he never stared into space like he was daydreaming. He was always alert like he might have to spring into action. But just for a few seconds when it ended, he wasn't.

Why did someone who looked as good as Colton not like their own picture? Forget it, I told myself. I didn't have time to be baffled.

'Alright you lot,' Michael said. 'Get outta here and have a nice dinner. Be sensible.' He was looking at Colton when he said that last part.

As we walked to the door I remembered Courtney's instructions from earlier: when he and I see the car, it all has to look like I'm not expecting it. And like it was all your dumb idea.

'What is that?' She walked down the drive towards the mustang, slowly. 'Oh Todd, seriously? We're showing up in that?'

My heart picked up, but it wasn't because of her rising to the bait I'd deliberately planted. It was the presence behind me. Colton smelt like his aftershave was made of diesel and brimstone laced with citrus.

'It's a 1970's Shelby Mustang, you dumb bag of pheromones.' Colton stepped between us, a hand on both our shoulders. I smelt the tobacco and tequila now. He'd probably used both in plain sight in front of their parents while he got ready. 'Not bad, raccoon. How did a trailer boy like you get your hands on one of those?'

'I don't live in a trailer,' I said, not caring about any way he could find to insult me. I wanted him to. It felt like he didn't mean it, because the look he gave me said I'd done something right.

'Your BFF call yet?' Colton said to his sister. 'She done up like a Vegas stripper already so we can go pick her up? I'm having the shotgun seat. Wait here, I've gotta go get my cat repellent. You got your can of mace? I think you're gonna need it.' He was looking at me when he said that. He didn't wait for an answer.

Courtney winked and gave my arm a squeeze. 'It's working,' she whispered.

* * *

I didn't know much about match-making. In fact, I knew nothing about it at all. Despite that, I felt like Caitlyn Banes the white tiger looked pretty fitting next to Colton. She was a gymnast like Courtney, and carried herself with a walk that I'd taken to calling the High Flying Career Gal style. Considering who her best friend was, it seemed a little strange that she was talking to Colton like she was just getting to know him, but I believed it somehow. She considered him a good date, and herself someone who could crack his shell.

I'd never have imagined Colton as a romantic person, and he wasn't, but he was polite to her in a way that made me think he could be romantic for the right person. But that was it: he was determined to show her that she wasn't. But at least I got to see him acting nice towards someone. The more I saw it, the more I knew I was going to get the reverse when Courtney gave Caitlyn their agreed signal to each other. The two of them were going to take a bathroom brake and 'adjust their makeup' at the same time, leaving me alone with Colton.

'Caitlyn seems nice,' I said, not sure where to start, nothing I'd practiced feeling right now that the moment was here. 'Why don't you play along with her a little bit more? Might end well for you tonight.'

'She's a spoilt little braindead slut, raccoon.' Colton said. 'I know what those two are doing. That whole thing was so rehearsed I could fucking vomit. Here we are alone together and you're supposed to become my friend. Forget it, trashcan boy. She worked the sweet sister who cares routine on you and you swallowed it. It's fake. She wishes I didn't exist.'

'I don't think she's like that at all,' I said.

'Oh, so you live in our home now do you? You see what it's like all the time? You don't know shit, and I don't wanna tell you shit. You wouldn't get it because you've had it easy all your trailer trash life.'

He decides he's going to poke you some more, Rocco had told me, don't get angry. Get personal. Hit him back. That's the behaviour he understands. Courtney called you nice? Don't be that guy for Colton. That's the guy he knows he can push to the limit. So's the one who he already knows reacts to being called trailer trash.

'You can call me whatever you like, Colton.' I said, trying to do an imitation of his gung-ho slouch. 'I'm the stupidest thing you ever met? Fine. But you're not stupid enough to think I was wrong about your fitness. Or what the Airforce want. So people would give their balls to have your sister as a prom date? They'd also give them to train with me.'

Colton scoffed. 'You're not a leader. You're not even a coach.'

'So? Sports is the reason I'm not a bully's wet dream. People respect me. People have got my back. You are stupid enough to turn me down even though you know I'm right. Go on, tell me I don't know shit again. Make whatever smart comment you want. Who else is going to help you with this who knows what they're doing? You already pissed off every coach in school and your so called friends are just worse versions of you. So you're a little bit successful already. Newsflash, nobody actually _wants_you to succeed.'

Shit, had I really just come up with that?

'Oh the oracle speaks,' Colton said, shaking out a cigarette, then just when I expected him to fully break the bar's no smoking law, he just sat there with it, then flicked it between his fingers and closed his palm over it. 'Give me a smart answer to this then: why did you want me here, having dinner with you? This was your idea. So, what the fuck's it for, exactly?'

My heart quickened a little. 'I don't know. Why did you agree to it after you told me no the first time? Shall I come back to me being right about you wanting help? Why are you so scared to ask for it? Because you don't want to be seen with me? Bad luck, here we are.'

Colton looked away for a moment, then he was back in full force. 'I don't wanna train with you because you're a dweeb, Aldrington. You think people respect you? They might respect what you can do. But you, yourself_,_ this right in front of me? This is somebody not cool trying to be cool. I bet that's all that ever drove you. Dreams you still don't know won't come true.'

I managed not to clench my fists up. Make it personal,_I heard Rocco say in my head, and this time I imagined him drilling it into me like a coach would have. Win this. Make it count. 'What if _your dreams don't come true, fox?' My best impression of his sneer really did sound unpleasant. But no backing off now. Commit. Just like shooting a hoop. 'What if the airforce suddenly didn't take you? Yeah, you know what I think? You already know they won't. You don't want my help because in the end, it's not going to matter. Is it?'

I shouldn't have done it. I knew a moment later when Colton's eyes flashed with the kind of look that almost always precedes a fox going for a full on teeth-fight. I'd seen it happen at school a couple of times. Now here I was on the end of it. But he didn't grab me, didn't fly into a rage. What he did was worse. He got up from opposite me, pulled the chairs out of his way, and came and slowly sat down next to me on the bench, close enough for me to feel his breath.

'What did that bitch tell you?' He said, his voice dangerously soft. 'I know she put you up to this. You wanna walk out of here? You tell me what she said.'

'Who, your sister? Nothing.'

Before I could stop myself, I got out of my seat and went round to the other side of the table, expecting him to leap onto me and seize my throat in his mouth. My heart was threatening to kindle my ribcage, but I was sitting down at the table, back opposite him. Because for some reason, he'd done nothing.

'It's your attitude, Colton.' I thought about the words he'd just used on me. 'You, yourself, this right in front of me, this isn't someone they can teach to behave like an officer. That's what pilots are. It's a commission. You can be as smart and fast as you like. But then there's the rest. So what the hell, my offer of help for you's just been withdrawn. Because there's no point in training a waste. They'll see that too.'

Colton might have exercised what little self control he had, but he still looked no less furious. 'She really told you nothing?'

'Really nothing.'

'You're fucking lying to me. Do not do that.'

'Or you'll do what, beat me half to death right here in front of a hundred odd people? Sure, the force will just welcome you with open arms after that. I'm not lying, Colton. Especially not about you being a complete asshole. I asked for this dinner together because your sister convinced me you were worth helping. Guess what, you just un-convinced me. Congratulations. Good job.'

'Then we've got nothing else to talk about,' Colton said. He finished his margerita, reached over, took up mine as well, and necked the whole thing in one. 'What? Not like you were ever going to drink that. Wouldn't want it to be a waste, would I?' He put his cigarette in his mouth and went outside.

I hoped he'd simply walk off and not come back. Maybe I could escort two ladies to the prom instead of one and tell everyone it was because Caitlyn's date had ditched her. If there was one thing Colton's friends wouldn't fine cool it was letting down a woman when there wasn't a good reason.

But what world was I living in? None of this was going to make any difference.

Fucking jerk.

This was it. I was done. Except I was still going to have a nice time with Courtney and hoped she found some way to rub it in his face. When the airforce rejected him for whatever reason I wasn't smart enough to have figured out, or gotten out of him, I actually hoped it hurt him. He deserved it.

'Everything okay here?'

It took me a moment to realise the waitress was talking to me. 'Could I have another one of these, please?' I pointed at the margarita. 'Actually, make it two.' My mouth was so dry I didn't care what anything tasted like as long as it was cold, and if alcohol could really mellow you out then I needed it right now.

When she brought them I sank the first one and nearly gagged, but then it kicked in, despite the food in my stomach. With zero tolerance for drink, I suddenly feared I might have set myself to do something really, really stupid.

Maybe it was about time. Because Colton wasn't entirely wrong about me. I never got in any trouble for anything. I never accepted a dare. I really was a bit of a two-shoes. Or I was just loyal to the parents who always told me what the limits were. Was there anything so wrong with being who I -

'Is he out there smoking because he's happy or angry?' Courtney had come back, and she'd now seen the empty glasses. She wiped the wet fur around my mouth for me. 'Whoa there Todd-boy, what have you just done?'

'It's not what it looks like, Colton drank most of that. I just...yeah, I wanted a drink.' I picked up the second one. 'Cheers.'

'Again then: happy or angry?'

'What the fuck do I care?'

Courtney smiled, and half-rolled her eyes. 'Well now I know which you are. Okay, tag the girls in and let us help. What did he say this time?'

'I don't need help with him. I'm done. I just want to have that nice safe time you talked about and then go home and go to sleep.'

Courtney and Caitlyn looked at each other. 'Yeah okay, let's take a time out here,' Courtney said. 'At least our sweet little safety-date's having some fun.'

I sucked on my margarita straw to tell her she was right. 'Really love being called that too. You're as charming as your brother.'

'He'll come round to...' she stopped, and her face fell miles. 'Oh shit.' She was looking at the door, where Rocco was coming in, looking like he hadn't just seen a ghost but been haunted by something far worse. Courtney stood up. 'Oh you're fucking kidding me, no no no no no!'

I couldn't think fast enough, but I still had a stomach full of snakes, like my glass had been full of them.

'What happened?' Courtney said, getting up and walking to Rocco. 'What did he do?'

'I don't know,' Rocco said. The whole place had gone quieter, and all eyes in the room were turning to us. 'He just...I was smoking one of his cigarettes, he offered and I lit up and we were just talking and...I don't know, I was looking at you guys having fun because he said it was all such a cool evening so far, and....how the fuck did he get those fucking keys? I didn't even feel his hand in my pocket.'

I nearly vomited. 'He stole the Shelby?'

I waited for 'Duh, keep up!' but even Courtney didn't say it.

'Alright,' she said. 'We can sort this. I call the cops, you call Joe Cassano before he finds out some other way. And that fucking asshole had better hope it's the cops that get him first.' She looked at Caitlyn. 'Help us out here, sis. We're going to need a limo, short notice, coz we are not turning up for prom in a cab. If nowhere's got one left, call Mom. Hell, forget that, call her first. She'll sort this.' Caitlyn was already working her phone like a pinball machine. 'Just don't tell her what happened. Tell her the car broke down, I don't want her freaking over this. She deserves better than Colton ruining her night.' Now she looked at me. 'Okay Todd-boy. Can you cope with one of us on each arm now? Maybe we should have done this all along. It'll look way hot for all of us.'

'Shouldn't you be calling the cops?' I said.

Courtney looked like she was thinking. 'Nah,' she said. 'Forget the cops. Every time they bring him in nothing ever happens. Let him deal with Cassano. See what happens when he really pisses the wrong person off.'

* * *

I needed some air. I left Courtney and Caitlyn having another round of drinks and went outside with Rocco, wish for once that I smoked just so that I had something to distract me.

'Man, I'm sorry,' I said. 'I feel terrible about this.'

'Bro, don't you go feeling like that. Colton stole Joe's car, not you. I don't care if it was something you said to him and Joe won't either. It's sorted. Joe's not mad at me. He knows who Colton is. He's too busy working out how to be mad at him.'

And that was what bothered me. It wasn't just the way he'd embarrassed my brother. 'Rocco, just what sort of guy is your boss exactly? Why did Courtney say what she said?'

'Oh that. Chill, bro. Don't worry. Joe's a decent guy. He's just got a bit of a past. There's...certain things he doesn't do any more, but people still know you stay on the right side of him. What he does with the garage is all above board and so's what I do. You think Mum wouldn't have had a freak-out by now if it were otherwise? She'd know, bro. She always does. So relax. This is all frosty.'

'I don't mean you,' I said. 'You always take care of yourself. I mean...'

'What?'

'Does Joe keep a gun in that car?'

Rocco's expression answered for me, but he pretended I hadn't seen it, or hoped I hadn't. 'Naaaaah.'

'Rocco. That was not convincing.'

'Alright,' he said, after a cautious breath. 'Yeah, Joe has a gun. Sometimes it's in the car under the driver's seat. But it's legal and registered and he would not have let me drive away with it. He'd have taken it out.'

Better. But still not convincing.

Or I was panicking and I didn't know how to do it on alcohol.

'Bro, what did you say to that fox dickhead?' Rocco said. 'You didn't follow my advice too much this time, did you?'

I ran it all off for him.

Rocco shook his head. 'Killer, Todd-o. You're actually getting so good at this you made a guy steal a car.'

'Don't. This isn't funny.'

'Oh sure it is,' Rocco said. 'And nothing's gonna happen. Colton's gonna drive that thing till he gets arrested for speeding or runs out of gas. And in between he won't even go near the prom. He's probably at some cuck-shack down at the city limits already, drowning his sorrows because he knows you were right. And you know what? He looked like shit in that prom suit.'

Thank God for Rocco, always knowing how to put a smile on my face. Shit, what would he say if he knew what the booze was making me thinking right now - that maybe I should find a boyfriend who was just like him?

Just keep thinking that thought and keep it to yourself and enjoy it.

Because there is no gun for Colton to find in that car.