FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

I don't know how I got here. I just woke up one day and I was in the middle of a grassy field. Apparently it was some kind of public park. Oh yeah, and I was naked. That was fun. At least it wasn't cold out. Or obnoxiously hot. I was freaking out, thinking I had gone on some sort of bender. Dick roommate Chuck is always talking about slipping something into my drink to see what I'll do. I thought maybe he'd gone and done it. He hadn't. But there I was, naked, in a park, surrounded by people.

I say they were people, but they weren't people like I'm used to. They were all animals. Seriously, all of them. I saw wolves, cats, foxes, cows, hell I even saw birds that were my size and walking like they belonged in a cartoon. It was crazy. And a lot of them were naked too. So they weren't shocked seeing me in my birthday suit. They were shocked because they had never seen anything like me before.

Yeah, that's right. Apparently I'm the only human on this planet. How that works, I have no idea. I've been seeing a therapist, a polite snake who I keep wanting to call Mr. Hiss, but he doesn't like that. He keeps trying to correct me so I'll say 'Doctor' instead. Apparently the 'Hiss' part didn't bother him. Anyway, doc says I should keep a diary of what's going on in my life, that it'll help me sort out my thoughts.

I don't like the idea of a diary. Makes me sound too much like an elementary schoolgirl. So, I've decided to call the whole thing a 'study', like I'm a scientist writing a paper. Doc likes this idea. He's even been giving me pointers on how to be more 'critically analytical' about my observations. It's a bit much for me. He's said it's alright if I wanna stick to a more natural style of writing. He'll translate it into science-ese for me.

So, guess I'll start with some of the basics. My name is Tom. No, I'm not the guy from that defunct social media place that sounds like it might be making a comeback. My last name isn't really important so I won't bother with it here. Gotta have some kind of privacy, ya know?

Yeah, I see the irony in that. Only human in the world writing his innermost thoughts down and he doesn't wanna share his last name because he wants to 'stay private'. Look, whatever. You can probably find it online if you really wanna know everything about me. I'm an average guy, average height, average weight, average intelligence, average looks. I'm the poster child for 'normal' where I come from. And I'm probably also the poster child for 'boring' too.

I can't speak for what other people think, but I do know that I haven't had much luck in the world of romance. Back home, most folks just kind of walked right on past me or looked through me. Here, I'm an oddity, a curiosity. I've even had someone say I'm 'exotic'. How weird is that? Me, exotic. I'm anything but that. My idea of a good date night is sitting at home, eating pizza, watching a bad movie.

Anyway, I had just woken up. Remember? Naked in the grass? Yeah, back there. Everyone was staring at me, keeping their distance. I guess they thought I was suffering from some kind mange. No one wanted to touch me, afraid their fur might fall out. Least of my worries. I got up, tried to cover my shame with the only thing I had--my hands--and began trying to find the nearest bush I could dive into. Everyone jumped out of my way when I started running. Lemme tell ya, concrete in bare feet, not a great combination. I really wish my shoes had come with me back then.

I ran as fast as my poor feet would let me. I'm not exactly known for my running, or my hiking, or being outdoorsy. What I'm trying to say is my feet were soft and lazy. Like the rest of me. They were getting torn up pretty quick. I had to think of what to do and fast. That's when I came up on these thugs. I'm not sure what they were, some kind of lizard. Pretty cool lookin' though, like something out of an anime or something. They were beating up on this poor little guy, maybe just tall enough to come up to the bottom of my chest if we both stood straight. Poor little guy didn't stand a chance. He was curled up on the ground, squeaking and crying while the bigger jerks kicked at him.

Now, I'm not saying I'm any sort of hero. In fact, I'm downright cowardly. If I saw this happening back home, I'd probably have turned around and walked the other way. Sure I might have pulled out my cell phone, snapped a photo, and called the cops, but for some reason, I felt different. Maybe it's because I was naked. Maybe its because I was still convinced this was all a dream. Maybe Chuck -did- slip something into my drink and I was still high. I doubt it. But I figured everyone else was freaking out seeing me, maybe these douche-nozzles would too. So I did the only thing I could think of.

"Hey! You assholes wanna pick on someone your own size!?" It was the best threat I could think of.

I dropped my hands to my sides and clenched my fists. I even puffed up my chest a little try and look bigger. I doubt that made any difference. The three lizard punks turned and looked right at me. Their eyes got real big and they just stared. They just stared, that's all. It was like they were being shown a really confusing picture someone dug up on the wrong side of the internet. I guess that's how I'd be classified in this world. But it got them to stop beating up on the little guy. They started whispering to one another but they didn't move. So I took it to the next level.

I started running at them, screaming my head off, waving my arms in the air like an idiot. I never said I was a brilliant strategist. But hey, it worked. Can't argue with results. The three lizards shrieked and took off in the other direction as fast as they could manage. Which was pretty fast. I'd never be able to outrun them if they decided they could kick my ass. And without anything covering it, my ass was ripe for the kicking.

Being the star athlete I am, after about ten yards, I stopped running, hunched over, and wheezed. Sexy, I know. But at least I didn't have to worry about reprisal. My genius strategy had worked. They should have made me Head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff back home. With the idiot running things, I'd probably be able to do as good a job advising him as anyone. Just make a dumb suggestion, he ignores it, then I quit a month later and sell a book. I even thought of a title, "The Cheese-Puff in Chief and Me: A Tell-All Exclusive".

Okay so it's not the best title. For one thing I'm pretty sure whoever owns the rights to 'Cheese-Puffs' would come down on my like a bag of hammers.

So there I am, I've just chased off a bunch of anime lizards, I'm naked, and I'm out of breath. Then I'm attacked. Okay so attacked is a little too strong a word. Pounced is closer to the truth. The little lizard guy they were beating up on had thrown himself at me. He'd wrapped his arms around me, hugging so tight I felt like he might break my spine. His squeaky little voice was going a mile a minute.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You save me! Me owe you big! Me do whatever you want!" the little guy was pretty insistent.

I pried the little guy off me and pushed him away to hold him at arm's length. He was naked too after all. And while I don't have any issues with two guys touching--heck I've done my fair share of it--I'd only just met the dude. I asked him to slow down so I could understand him and that's when he realized he wasn't talking to any ordinary animal.

I kinda like that. Not your ordinary animal.

"What you? Never seen before." he said, sounding a bit like a caveman in those old movies.

"Human. What are you?" I asked.

"Me kobold!" he said proudly, "Me Vhip! What your name?"

"Tom. Nice ta meet you, Vhip. Look, as you might'a guessed, I ain't exactly from around here. I could use some help. Like some clothes for starters." I wasn't exactly gonna take advantage of the little guy, but he was insistent that he owed me, so I figured maybe he could at least point me in the right direction.

"Tom! Me like Tom! Tom save Vhip! Come, me show where get clothes! Clothes that fit Tom!" His English was worse than mine.

It made me feel right at home.

The little lizard guy took my hand and dragged me off through the park, aiming for one of the exits. We headed for the shops, which I felt was maybe a bad idea because, ya know, naked. But turns out even some of the people who worked the shops were just as naked as me. Apparently this whole world is clothing optional. Vhip usually only wears a pair of cargo shorts. Doesn't even wear anything under them. He doesn't mind if he rubs his 'little lizard' against something that rough. Guess he's tougher than me.

I found some stuff that fit pretty well, but almost everything they sold for pants had a hole in the back for a tail I didn't have, so it ended up giving people just a narrow little peek at my butt crack. I figured that was an acceptable tradeoff. Problem, I didn't have any money. Solution, Vhip paid for it. Little guy didn't even blink at the idea. I had just kept him from getting his ass royally handed to him, and he wanted to make sure I was properly thanked.

Dressed in shirt, pants, and even some sandals--my feet were thanking me for that--we stepped out of the shop and I was feeling a little less weird. I was still drawing stares, but at least I didn't feel like it was because my junk was hanging out. And lemme tell ya, there were some guys who were packing some serious heat. A lotta the ladies were too. That caught my attention. As did what was up above. I'm an equal opportunity pervert. I like guys and girls in equal measure. But that's not really important at this point in the story. See, I'd taken care of one immediate need. Now I needed to take care of another.

"Hey, Vhip." I said.

"Yeah?" The little guy bounced happily.

"Um... I'm gonna be straight with you. I don't know how I got here. I don't have any money or ID. When I went to bed, the world was full of people like me and none of the animals could talk. I'm kinda freakin' out. I need a place to crash while I plan my next move. You got a couch I can sleep on for the night?" I wasn't terribly hopeful but, surely this was a world where couches still existed.

"No, no sleep on couch! Bed! Sleep on bed! Come! I show!" Vhip grabbed my hand and started dragging me off again.

It was kinda cute how he was so proud to show me off to whoever would stop and listen. It was like I was a foreign exchange student or something. And that made me wonder if maybe one of the animals in this world got sent back to my world in my place. They wouldn't get the same treatment I got here, that was absolutely certain. I hope no one got sent back. I wouldn't wanna inflict that place on anyone. Especially if they're different.

Vhip dragged me halfway across town before we reached another area that looked like a park. But this was different. There were a bunch of huts all around. And there was a big rock 'mountain' in the middle. It had to be artificial. It looked too 'perfect', even with strategically placed cracks and layers that were clearly painted to look like different kinds of rock, like those cool natural stone arches you saw out in the desert out west. The little guy led me right to the 'mountain' and walked into one of the little caves that ran along its face.

Inside, it was actually pretty nicely furnished. There was in fact a couch and it faced a television that was hanging on the wall. Somehow it was getting power from somewhere, but I didn't see a cord anywhere. Maybe it was tucked in behind it. Vhip led me past the living room and into the bedroom. It was all one big open space, like an efficiency apartment, but then it was a cave, so I guess walls weren't part of the design. He let go of my hand and pointed at the mattress. It was clean and the sheets were neatly folded, making me think maybe this was some kind of weird hotel.

"Bed! This where you sleep! Me sleep too, but not now. It still day. Hungry? Get food?" Vhip asked.

Did he just suggest we sleep together? Yeah, he did. At the time I wasn't sure of his meaning, but we'll get to that. Food sounded great and I wasn't about to pass up an opportunity to eat.

"I'm starving. And... I'm sorry but I can't help pay for it. I promise I'm not gonna mooch off you forever. I'll find a way to pay ya back, I promise. And I keep my promises." At least I tried to, success on that was another matter entirely.

And this little guy deserved it after what he had been through. Vhip ordered a pizza for us both. He had good taste in toppings. Pepperoni, sausage, olive, and anchovy. No one else back home liked anchovies, but this little guy loved it almost as much as I did. We feasted and all the while, I was asking him questions, trying to get a read on the world I had just been dropped into.

It all sounded a lot like the world I had come from. Leadership was pretty much just as stupid, but at least they weren't sounding nearly as dangerous as back home. Everyone was some kind of animal, even the ones I thought were fake, like unicorns, gryphons, and dragons. Hell they even had dinosaurs for crying out loud! It was like an alternate Earth where humans never existed. That was an appealing thought. Dangerously appealing.

When nightfall finally came, Vhip insisted I take the bed instead of the couch. At first I thought he was just trying to be nice, but no, that wasn't the case. After I stripped down to my brand new boxers and pulled the sheets over me, I found out exactly why he was pushing for me to sleep there. Just as I got comfortable, he snuggled right up against me. I sat up, wondering just what the little guy was doing and he just looked back at me as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Uh... whatcha doin' there buddy?" I asked.

"You save Vhip. Vhip yours now." His answer was simple and to the point.

I didn't quite understand what that point was at first, but then that's why smart people ask questions.

"What do you mean... 'Vhip yours' exactly?" I peered at the little lizard guy, feeling more and more uncomfortable.

"Tom not know kobolds? No kobolds where Tom from?" Vhip tilted his head.

Of course there weren't kobolds back where I was from, but he didn't know that. I would have to explain as much.

"Of course there aren't kobolds back where I'm from," I'm real good at explaining things, "Where I'm from, the only people who walk and talk like you or me are like me. Humans. So, break it down for me."

Vhip let out a noise that sounded a little like a chirp. I didn't expect that from a lizard, but then all the science websites were saying dinosaurs probably didn't roar but probably squawked instead. So I guess I shouldn't have been that surprised. It was kinda cute, if I'm honest.

"Kobolds small, weak, easy to beat up. Big, mean lizards want beat up Vhip, make him theirs, make Vhip serve. Lizards no beat up Vhip, make him serve. Tom save Vhip. Vhip serve Tom now. Vhip belong to Tom." he explained.

A nasty little knot formed in my stomach as I heard all of this. I hadn't been in this world more than a few minutes and my first act was to take ownership of another life form. Pretty sure slavery isn't exactly something people look the other way over in this world, but I was too tired to really care at the moment. I'd deal with all of this in the morning. We'd have a nice long talk over a bowl of cold cereal or whatever I could fix, and I'd explain to the little guy that I'm not down with the whole owning thing. Besides, I'd make a terrible master. Never could get into that whole dom/sub, master/slave thing I kept seeing on the internet.

I just rolled my eyes and laid back down, flat on my back, staring up at the ceiling. A noise came out of me, I think you'd call it a groan. Whatever it was, I figured it would express my frustration. Vhip took that to mean I had agreed to whatever weird custom this was and snuggled back up against me. To be honest, it was actually kind of nice. I didn't think I'd be that into it, but it was kind of soothing having the little guy right there. He was on his side, pressing his front against me, his head on my chest. I had moved my hands to cup behind my head so that I wouldn't be tempted to wrap one around the little lizard. Yeah, that didn't last long.

In only a few minutes, he was out cold. He made this cute little purr-snore noise. He looked so peaceful, I didn't have the heart to push him away. I let out a sigh and dropped my left arm down to rest just behind him, then gave Vhip a little squeeze. As soon as I did, he let out this happy little squeal. I told myself I probably wasn't going to be here that long. I'd find a way to get back home, and Vhip could find someone better suited to this whole master business. He'd be able to find someone who would take care of him, keep those nasty thugs off him, right?

That made me feel uneasy. If he didn't have anyone before me, how often did kobolds get paired up with someone who treated them like people? I needed to know more. I couldn't just leave him all alone, could I? I tried to sleep. Getting there was tough. Waking up and coming back to the world was just as hard. At least I'd managed to find a comfortable place to sleep instead of just hiding in the bushes.

When I did wake up, Vhip was gone. His warm little body had been a surprising source of comfort, helping me find a calm state in spite of wanting to freak out so badly. I mean, I had every right to. I sat up in bed and looked around. There wasn't much there offering a place for him to hide. I found him in the kitchen, which was a small little area of a counter, sink, fridge, and range. It looked nicer than the kitchen in my ratty little apartment back home. He was busy cooking breakfast.

As soon as Vhip saw I was awake, he chirped happily and scooped up whatever he had been cooking and brought it over to me on a tray. His English might have been broken, but little dude could cook like a professional. It was a hell of a spread, fancy and delicious. Honestly, I've never had a better omelet. When I was completely stuffed, he took the dishes and washed them. I climbed out of bed and followed, hoping I could at least help. He insisted I let him take care of it and pushed me to go sit on the couch.

I don't like being fussed over, but dammit, the little guy was pretty persuasive. I sat and waited for him to finish the dishes, feeling unbelievably awkward, then he came and sat down with me. This was it. I had to put my foot down. This whole master/slave thing had to stop. One way or another, it was going to.

"Look, Vhip. I don't wanna sound ungrateful or anything, because I'm really am super grateful that you helped me out. You bought me clothes, you bought me food, you gave me a place to crash for the night, and you even cooked me breakfast. I mean, you're a damn good host. But this whole... 'Vhip belong to Tom' thing... I can't accept." I tried to be as gentle as I could.

Vhip just tilted his head, clearly not understanding.

"But Tom save Vhip. Vhip supposed to belong to Tom. Did Vhip do something wrong?" It was all so matter-of-fact to him, he wasn't upset or anything.

"No, no you've been great. I mean, you're a better person than most humans I know. It's just... I'm really hoping I can get back where I'm from somehow, and I don't think you'd like it there. And I'm not a very good master." I've had breakups that felt less awkward than this.

Those usually had yelling or crying. Sometimes there was that one person who would be all "whatever" and just roll with it, but they were pretty rare. And I'm not saying I've had lots of relationships, but I'm no stranger. This felt more like what I was saying simply didn't compute. Like there was no possible way I could get it across to this little guy that how his world did things wasn't how my world did things. I felt a bit like anime trope where you make a contract without realizing it and you're stuck with it permanently. Yeah, I compare things to anime a lot, so sue me.

"Tom go back? Why Tom go back? Tom no like it here?" Vhip's pointy little ears drooped a bit and his eyes got big.

"Honestly, yes. I do like it here. It's better than the place I called home. But Vhip, I don't belong here. I'm a human. As far as I can tell, no one here's ever seen another human before. That means I'm way out of place. I gotta get back where I belong, even if it's not as nice as this place." I was having trouble convincing myself of that.

If I couldn't do that, then how would I ever convince Vhip? Hell, I didn't even know how to get back. I didn't even know how I got here in the first place. Maybe this was all some weird hallucination, a dream or something. Maybe I was in the hospital, unconscious, in a coma or something and this was what my fevered brain decided to show me. Why would it show me animal people? Was my subconscious that screwy?

"Tom want go back home. Vhip understand. Vhip get homesick too. But Vhip happy where he is. Maybe Tom just homesick. Vhip make feel better." he nodded, as if deciding something without actually letting me have a say.

"It's not that I'm homesick. I don't belong in a world that doesn't have humans," It took me a moment to register what he had said, "Wait... make me feel better? How exactly?"

He didn't say anything. He just scooted his way closer on the couch and leaned forward. Before I could react, he had pushed his lips up against mine. It's a weird thing, kissing a lizard. You'd think it would be unpleasant. They're scaly after all. I'm used to feeling lips more like mine, but it wasn't exactly unpleasant. And it did a damn good job of shutting me up. Everything that was going through my head at that moment got shoved right out. I was kissing someone I had only met the day before. And that someone wasn't human. There were probably a lot of folks back home would have given anything to be in my shoes.

There was probably plenty of fanfiction about this sorta thing floating around the internet, too.

I was frozen in place. I couldn't pull away. It was just too surprising. When Vhip finally pulled back, it had to have been a solid minute. I don't know. I'm not a stopwatch. It was long enough where I could have backed out. But I didn't. That probably meant something to the little lizard guy who had taken me in like a lost puppy. I started to wonder just who owned who in this situation.

"Feel better?" Vhip asked.

"I... I mean... It was... Um... Yeah. Yeah I guess." I've never been good with words when things get mushy.

"Good! Vhip go to work now. Tom stay here, no feel bad." he smiled brightly and hopped up off the couch.

I shook my head, forcing myself to sober from what had been a very tender little kiss. And I was going to be unpacking that for a while.

"Wait, work? You've got a job?" The minute I asked it, I realized how stupid a question it was.

"Vhip need money. Buy food. Pay for cave. Take care of Tom. Vhip come home later. Take care of Tom more. Make sure Tom not sad." the kobold grinned, no doubt expecting to do more of what just happened, slipping on a pair of shorts.

"What do you do? What's your job?" I should have asked that earlier instead of the dumb, insensitive thing I said.

"Vhip make egg! Vhip real good at make egg! Vhip egg real good!" he was so proud of that, "It why lizards want beat up and make Vhip serve. They want Vhip egg. Now Tom get Vhip egg!"

"Yeah... I did. And they were really good. Maybe I'll come see where you work sometime, see what all you cook when you're in whatever kinda restaurant you work in." I shot back, unable to help but grin like a goofy twit.

I wasn't going to be going anywhere anytime soon. I wasn't going to just go walk back to where I woke up and magically reappear in my room back in my apartment. Only an idiot would do that. So, long story short, I did exactly that. After Vhip left, I went hunting for the park I woke up in. It didn't take much work. I just retraced my steps and found my way back. I even found the exact spot I had woken up in. When I laid back down where I had been yesterday, nothing happened. Big surprise, I know.

And then, I felt really bad. It was like this sickening wave of guilt. I had said things to Vhip that made it sound like I wasn't leaving, and as soon as he was gone, I ran off trying to get back home. What if I had managed to get back? He'd come home and find his cave just as empty as it had been before he met me. He had done so much with so little asked in return, and I was just running off like it didn't matter. God I could be a real heel. Maybe that's why I've had such a hard time keeping a boyfriend or girlfriend.

But I couldn't stay here, I didn't belong. I got all sorts of weird looks, animal people giving me a wide space when we passed, like I was diseased or dangerous. It didn't feel good. Especially when I was making the long walk of shame back to Vhip's cave, kicking myself the whole way. It felt like everyone around me knew what kind of garbage person I was. I could even hear them in my head yelling at me for leaving poor Vhip behind like that.

I got back to the cave, sat down on the couch and flipped on the television. I needed something, anything to take my mind off what I had just tried to do to the sweet little lizard guy that had been so generous. The shows in this world were the same mix of terrible to really interesting I'd gotten back home. At least that wasn't any different. And I had to admit, some of the animal people in the soap operas they had on were actually pretty hot. God bless daytime television.

When Vhip got back, I had spent the whole day as a couch potato. Sure I had taken care of a few things, like food and going to the bathroom. But other than my little excursion to the park, I had not left the cave. And I'm not too proud to admit that after seeing a particularly handsome looking dragon guy and a pretty sexy fox lady making out in some crime drama, I decided I need to go take care of something else. Shut up. It's perfectly natural.

"Tom still here!" Vhip cried out as he walked in.

He threw his arms out and rushed forward at me, wrapping them around my waist when I stood. He had startled me. I had gotten a little too into my television watching and jumped like someone who had been caught doing something they shouldn't have. The cute little purr noise he had made while asleep came back and I decided it would be bad form not to hug him back. So I did.

"Yeah, yeah I'm still here. Whatever made me just go poof and wake up in world full of animal people didn't happen again. How was work?" I released my arms after a moment, but Vhip didn't let go right away.

Clearly the little guy had grown attached to me.

"Job good. Made lots egg! Told big boss lady about Tom. Boss lady let me take bunch egg home for Tom!" he finally let go and stepped back, dropping his hands to his stomach.

I hadn't noticed it earlier, but he was decidedly not skinny like he had been when he left to go to work. In fact, he was pretty damn big. He looked like he was pregnant and ready to just drop right then and there. I felt the need to freak out start to creep back into my mind but I tried to keep it pushed down. I had been assuming Vhip was a boy all this time. I had seen junk between his legs hadn't I? He had been just as naked as me when we met. Suddenly, I couldn't remember what I had seen. I had been focused on keeping my attention on his face, not his crotch. Maybe I was wrong. And he--or she--had been talking about making eggs. I thought that meant cooking them, like the omelet I had enjoyed for breakfast. Maybe it literally meant making eggs, like actually laying them.

Oh god, had that omelet been made from eggs Vhip had laid himself? Herself?

"Wait, you don't cook eggs for a job, you lay them!?" I was never going to get used to this place.

"Yup! Vhip real good at make egg! Vhip make bunch! Four clutch today! Got bonus!" Vhip was still extremely proud.

"Okay, okay, let's just back up a minute," I lifted my hands to my head, squeezing gently on my temples to try and massage away the migraine that was trying push itself through my skull, "I've been going on the assumption that you're a boy. But now you say you have a job -laying- eggs, not cooking them. Does that mean you're a girl?"

"What? Vhip not girl. Vhip boy. Vhip just make change to make egg. Boss lady give pill, change Vhip to have what girl have. Vhip still boy though." he began unfastening his shorts, then dropped them.

Now, I'm not one to play coy or modest. If a cute boy or girl just drops trou right in front of me, I'm gonna stare. And it doesn't matter what a person's got between their legs. I'm an equal opportunity enthusiast. But let me tell you, Vhip might be short, but he's packing. I thought he might need to lean back or something in order for me to see what he was working with, but even a pregnant looking gut wasn't enough to hide it. He was better hung than me. Not that I was jealous or anything.

Okay so maybe I was a little jealous.

I just stared for a while, trying to just process everything that had been explained. First of all, my little kobold friend was indeed a guy. Boy was he ever. But apparently, this pill thing his boss had given him somehow gave him whatever it was he meant when he said 'change to be able to make egg'. That suggested to me that he was in possession of both 'sword and sheath' if you'll forgive the metaphor. And on top of that, he had a belly full of eggs. And this was all completely normal to him.

"I... don't know what to say." was all I could think to say.

"Vhip like being both. Is fun! Tom have good day?" The little kobold just ran right past any discomfort I might be feeling and carried on with casual conversation.

He didn't even bother pulling his shorts back up. He collected them, folded them, and waddled over to a basket where he dropped them in with other clothing. That had to be where he put his laundry waiting to be washed.

"Y-yeah... it was quiet. I watched a lot of TV. You guys have some pretty good shows. Hey... um... little bit earlier, did you say your boss let you bring some eggs home... for me?" Mind like a steel trap, that's me, even if it takes me a bit to get back around to it.

"Yeah! Make egg, good for make things. Vhip cook dinner after push out egg. Tom help?" He looked up at me with this hopeful expression that made me melt a little inside.

I couldn't help but think he was cute. Not like the dragon I saw on TV or some sexy guy back home. Cute like a puppy or some other sweet little pet. Okay so maybe there was a little something from that dragon in him. I couldn't turn him down. He seemed so excited to try to include me in what he was doing.

"Okay, sure. What do I gotta do?" I suppose I could have sounded more enthusiastic, but he didn't show any sign of being annoyed or disappointed.

Have you ever helped a pregnant lady give birth? Have you ever helped a chicken lay eggs? Have you ever watched those weird pornos where they make eggs out of gelatin or something, then shove them in just to push them back out? Hey, don't judge me. I was curious. The boner wants what the boner wants. Well, it was a bit like all of that wrapped up together in one little scaly package. Okay so his package wasn't that little. And I got up close and personal with it.

Vhip was crouched, leaning back against the back of the tub. I was sitting in front of him, hands open and waiting as he grunted and groaned. It sounded like he was in pain. His dick said otherwise. That was why he wore shorts to work, to try and 'contain the beast'. Turned out Vhip had a fetish for this kind of thing, so getting a job as a 'hen' was a natural fit for him, especially since he had been practicing so much he had managed to get his production numbers pretty high for a little guy like him.

The first egg I caught made me jump with a start. It slipped out of him and landed in my hands with a plop. It was warm, wet, and smooth. It had been bigger than the ones you buy at the market, at least back where I came from. Here, it might be normal. Hell it might actually be on the small size. Vhip's eggs were about the size of an orange. No wonder he was moaning so much. I'd probably be moaning too if I had something that big coming out of me. After the sixth one, he just plopped down in my hands, sitting on them. Apparently his legs had gotten tired. I got a handful of kobold sac at that point.

It wasn't exactly unpleasant. But holy crap, if I was sporting what this little guy had, I'd be the greatest porn star to ever live. At least back home. Here, that might just be average. Let me paint a picture for you. Vhip had enough girth that I couldn't get my fingers all the way around it. And it stood up tall enough that if he wasn't carrying a clutch of eggs, he probably could just look down and suck himself off. And besides that, if you took a pair of grapefruit and shoved them in your pants, you might look like you were packing what this little guy was. And it would still look bigger on him because of how short he is.

There are not many times when I've felt myself drooling because of what a guy's rocking downstairs. I'm not ashamed to admit that this was one of those rare times. Okay so maybe I'm a little embarrassed. I mean Vhip was in a pretty compromising position. And when he sat down in my hands, I think he did it on purpose. When he wiggled his hips a little, then shivered and let out a happy squeak, I knew he had. I could feel moisture slowly dripping down against my fingers. Out of pure instinct, I curled them and felt along what was hiding behind the little kobold's deeply impressive sac. That was what he had meant by having made a change to lay eggs. He was at least part lady.

The rest of the eggs came and went one by one. And it wasn't an entirely clean process. By the end of it, both Vhip and I needed a towel. He clearly, really enjoyed laying his eggs. He enjoyed it so much I got a face full of just how much he enjoyed it. Ordinarily, I wouldn't mind that. Given the circumstances, I was still a little too new to everything to properly enjoy having a monster like that go off in my face. Like I said, I'm an equal opportunity enthusiast.

He had laid a dozen and a half eggs, all of them roughly the size of an orange. I had put them in a cloth-lined basket that he had set out for just that purpose. When he finished, he showered, permitted me the chance to do the same, cleaned his eggs, then parked them in the fridge. Dinner was excellent. It wasn't eggs, those were meant for breakfasts and baking according to the little factory that had just spat them out. I didn't bother getting dressed after I got cleaned up and dried off.

There was no point to it after what had happened. It just didn't matter when something like that had been done, and so casually too. Vhip didn't think anything of it. Nor did he think anything of cuddling up with me on the couch while we watched a movie. It was some action flick with some big name celebrity known for those kinds of movies.

I couldn't get my mind off what had happened earlier. I was probably going to have dreams about it.

"Hey, Vhip?" I asked.

"Tom need something? Maybe drink?" The little kobold lifted his head from my chest to look up at me.

"No, I'm good. I just... I wanted to ask you something." It was sweet that he wanted to make me as comfortable as possible, but it still felt a little weird to me.

"What ask?" he chirped up at me.

Lord that was a cute little noise he made.

"When you were laying your eggs, you were really into it. Is that just... part of the biology of it? Or do you actually get off on it? Like... you aren't just going through the motions and that happens, you'd do it for fun, even if you weren't paid." I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes, these kinds of questions just pop into my head.

"Vhip like make egg. Feel good. Vhip like holding egg and pushing egg out. Vhip want move up, get promotion. Others make egg all the time, stay full, no matter how many push out. Vhip want do that." he lowered his head back to my chest and purred.

He was really comfortable there. I felt bad just moving because it made him have to move. I had roommate a while back who had a cat. Cute little bastard liked to curl up in your lap. If he did, that was where you would die, because you couldn't move. If you did, you'd break the poor thing's heart.

"Does it really feel that good? You can just... go off... while laying?" Don't judge me for wanting to know.

"Yup. Feel good. Make egg feel good too." he said.

"And you just had to take a pill, and suddenly you could make eggs?" I wasn't thinking about doing it myself if that's what you're wondering.

Okay maybe a little.

"Yeah, boss lady give pill. Take buncha time. Wear off if wait too long. Boss lady said take enough time, change stay. Vhip take enough to make stay. Like change. No have take pill now." He was proud of that, which I thought was something a little odd to be proud of but hey, I don't want to be accused of being a bigot.

"You like it that much, huh? And this pill makes you lay eggs? Just... spontaneously?" Shut up, I can hear you thinking lewd things about me already.

Give me a bit, would ya? I'm not done with the story. I know why you came here, and I'm getting to it. Promise.

"No, need help. Vhip use 'stud'. Boss lady call that. Stud real big. He make Vhip make egg." he said.

Yeah, I didn't need to have that explained to me. There was a guy where he worked--probably more than one actually--that knocked up all the folks who laid eggs. He had to have sex in order to produce eggs. He essentially had sex for a living, and he wasn't a prostitute. Hell of a way to make money.

"I'll bet you really like that too. Don'tcha?" I'm not a pervert, I swear.

Relatively speaking.

"Is kinda fun. Marco good stud. Make Vhip make lot egg. Marco big, get rough some of time. Vhip get sore sometime. Maybe get smaller stud some of time, but boss lady say Marco best match." he said.

"That big huh? He can't be too much bigger than you. You're better hung than anyone I've seen back home. If that was all it took, you'd be real popular where I'm from." I put on a big grin, probably looking real goofy.

Vhip smiled up at me and gave me a squeeze. I had a hard time reading it as anything but affection. I could even feel a little stirring from that monster down there. This was dangerous ground to tread on. I could end up bent over and split in two by an overly enthusiastic kobold my second night in a strange world. Part of me wanted to try it right then and there. The more sane part of my mind backed off the notion.

"Vhip want be able lay egg when get to work. Need make egg night before. More egg, more money. Tom want help make egg?" Forward little guy, and excitable too.

He was already thinking the same idea it had taken me a while to get to. He just didn't bother holding back. He wanted to make a new clutch of eggs, and he wanted my help. Oh man it was tempting. I had only been in this world a little over a full day and I was already pretty sure I wasn't going to be getting back anytime soon, if ever. And this little guy had taken me in, expecting me to be his master. I still didn't like that thought. But he was friendly, generous, affectionate, and he was really cute.

So, I made a decision.

"Fuck it. Let's do it. I'll help you make some eggs. I can't guarantee it'll be a big clutch." I smiled at Vhip and gave him a return squeeze.

He let out that same cute little chirp and slung himself over my lap, straddling me. He was a quick little thing. I felt the heat from all that junk between his legs pressing against me and I gotta tell ya, I don't think I'd ever gotten hard that fast before in my entire life. It was like a cartoon. I half expected to hear the 'boing' sound effect. Vhip threw his arms around my neck and pushed his muzzle towards me for a kiss. This time, I was prepared. And since I was prepared, I enjoyed it more.

I know I had said kissing a lizard was weird. And yeah, it kind of is, but now I knew what to expect, and it made it less weird, at least compared to before. And this time, it wasn't just him pushing his lips against mine. His tongue got into the mix. It worked its way into my mouth and felt oddly familiar. I had expected it to be forked or something, even though I had seen it while he was talking. Practical application is a hell of a teacher. It wasn't like a snake's at all. I still had a lot of silly ideas to get past. And now that I had a kobold exploring the inside of my mouth, I was starting to just tell the more rational part of my brain to shut up.

He was a good kisser. Seriously, I've had boyfriends and girlfriends of all sorts, and none of them could hold a candle to this little guy. Vhip knew when to press the attack and when to retreat. Even though he had probably only ever kissed others with muzzles, he didn't ever overwhelm me. Maybe he's just that good at reading me. But whatever the case, the kiss left me dizzy. It was great.

I wrapped my arms around him and stroked down his sides. His scaly hide was so smooth. And warm. I knew it was warm from when we had slept together last night. It was so different from anything I had felt against me, but it was great. I couldn't help but love it. He squeaked and cooed from time to time as I found the odd tickle spot. And I had every intention of taking advantage of that. At least I thought I was going to. I figured it was a good way to get him riled up but he didn't need any help from me.

Without breaking the kiss, Vhip picked himself up on his knees and adjusted himself. His tail curled down under him, between his legs, right to my crotch. I felt it wrap around me, what of me was standing up, waiting to do the poking. Suddenly I was a little jealous all over again. I bet he could use that on himself and make himself pop without needing to use his hands. Man, hands free sounded pretty great. Now I was jealous of him for a couple of reasons. I didn't have a chance to feel too upset about the thought before I got distracted.

A new heat grabbed my attention. Vhip dropped down, no real technique or attempt to play coy. He just sat down. And just like that, I was inside him. It wasn't something I hadn't felt before, but it was pretty impressive how tight he grabbed me. And there was the fact that his own package was rubbing against my stomach. He was halfway stiff and drooling down across me, and only getting bigger. Damn he was hung. I slipped a hand to the little guy's 'big boy' and grabbed it, giving it a good pump. That startled Vhip, making him gasp and finally break the kiss. He looked down to see that I had him in hand and then looked back up at me.

"Marco no do that for Vhip. Vhip have to take care of Vhip." he said.

"Well I ain't Marco. And maybe he'd learn a thing or to from me." I grinned right back.

It was my turn to go on the attack. I pushed forward and forced us back into another kiss. Vhip liked that, clearly, because he moaned and dragged my tongue into his mouth this time. I could feel his sharp little teeth, and that worried me for a moment, but the longer the kiss went on, the more at ease I felt. He wasn't going to bite down or nip or anything. Instead, he began working his hips, pushing himself up off me, then drop back down. Sure he needed to learn some of the finer points of the craft, but he was no slouch. And damn he felt good.

If I had walked in on me right now, I'd probably have screamed and run. But there I was, in the thick of it, in the middle of this sweet, friendly, affectionate little lizard. I couldn't help myself in spite of how strange it should be to me. I began pushing my hips up against him. I rocked hard under him, and he certainly noticed. He throbbed hard in my hand. I could feel the warm, sticky goo oozing out of him seep down over my hand. And I could feel a similar wetness below, making it easier to move inside him. Clearly he was enjoying it.

I'm no stud. I don't usually last too long when my motor's good and humming. But I'll be damned if I lasted longer this time than before. It had to be because I wasn't used to everything. And while that might be taken as an insult, it as a damn blessing. I couldn't help but just throw myself into it, just go nuts. And clearly Vhip liked it. Instead of chirping or purring like he had done before, he growled. If that had been the first noise he made around me, I might have been concerned. But dammit if that wasn't just as cute.

We had to spend at least fifteen minutes just humping at each other. I was doing good to hang on, but Vhip wasn't even trying to. He wanted to reach the end as quickly as he could. I'm not sure why. But he was very eager. I might even say desperate. There were brief moments when the kiss was broken. When our lips parted, his growl turned to a whine. When we locked back together, he growled all over again. It was almost as if he just couldn't be satisfied.

I've been with girls who were like that. Guys too. Not many of either, but I've been there. They're usually a little on the vicious side. Not Vhip. He would get antsy if I wasn't tending to him the way I had started off. Hey, my arm gets tired after so much work. But he never got more aggressive than that first forceful kiss. I can't blame him. He loved making and laying eggs. If it felt as good as he said it did, I'd probably want to find the nearest thing that could make that happen and use it as much as I could. And by god, I was going to give him his eggs.

You know that weird little tickle you get in your lower back when you're close? It makes you push your hips forward and flex your butt as hard as you can. It's like you're trying to push in as far as you physically can. Yeah that was happening. And Vhip could tell. I'm not sure how, but he could. In all the times I've bottomed, I couldn't tell how close the guy was until he was just seconds away from it. Vhip worked me over hard, and I did the same for him. My arm was burning like I had been running a marathon on my hands, but I kept going.

A sticky explosion hit us both under the chin. It startled me at first, but when the second splatter hit, I knew what was going on. Vhip jerked himself away and tilted his head back. He let out a yowl like a jungle cat and his whole body went rigid on top of me. I felt his hold on me get unbelievably tight and a hot soaking gush drenched my groin. I sucked in a deep breath and took hold of his hips, pushing him down on top of me as far as physics would allow. And I fired. He wanted his eggs, and he was going to get them.

I don't sound like a wild animal in the sack. Sure a couple of folks have said something like that about me, but really, they had no idea what that really sounds like. If they had pinned this little guy and made him scream, they'd think I was tame by comparison. I couldn't go without making some kind of noise. It's not really in me to stay quiet. My shout wasn't nearly as impressive as Vhip's, but it was there. And it was enough to let everyone around know he wasn't alone.

I was dizzy. The world was spinning. I mean, I know it's supposed to spin, but just apply that Einstein junk for a second. It's all relative, you know? If I had been standing, I'd have fallen flat on my back. But hey, I had the good luck to have my butt planted firmly on a pretty comfortable couch. So I didn't feel any remorse in just going limp right there with Vhip still on top of me. And he joined me not long after. His collapse was slower, more like a crumple as he folded in against me.

I was out of breath, and I felt good. Really good. There's that sort of warm fuzzy feeling you get after you do the deed, and I was wrapped up in it. And so was Vhip. He nuzzled up under my chin and made that adorable little purr. He even licked me clean, at least what of me he could reach without an impressive display of gymnastics. He hadn't forgotten that sticky mess he had made. That I had made him make.

"Well... that... was a first." It was all I could manage to say.

"Tom good stud. Not big like Marco, but still real good." Vhip rumbled.

"Well, I'm glad you approve. You weren't too bad yourself." I laughed, because that's really all you can do in this kind of situation.

Here I was, naked, on the couch, the 'front door' open for the world to see into the cave, with a little lizard guy on top of me, impaled on me, his dick smushed between his chest and mine, covered in his spunk, and being compared to some other guy he has sex with regularly. Yeah, all you can do is laugh.

"Tom want go to bed now?" Vhip asked, not bothering to change his posture.

"Yeah, probably a good idea. Might have to make you get off me, at least so I can stand." I didn't want to, not when it still felt that good being inside him.

"No get off. Vhip stay." he frowned and even growled a little.

I felt his tail curl around my waist and pull us closer. He really didn't want to let go. And I really didn't want him to. So I didn't bother trying to pry him off me. My physical prowess being equivalent to a black belt couch potato, it took me a little doing to get up on my feet, but somehow I managed. I was unsteady as hell walking my way to the bed. At least there weren't any doors or walls to get in the way. Suddenly the whole concept of an 'efficiency cave' was seeming like a brilliant idea to me.

We flopped down on the bed, still wrapped up around one another. The couch had been comfy, the bed was even more so. I let out a long, loud sigh and just settled there, expecting to drift off just like that. Yeah, that didn't happen.

"Vhip like Tom. Tom good master." he mumbled and gave that cute chirp thing he did.

"Whoa, hold up there. I'm no one's master. I don't own you, and you don't owe me anything. You've more than paid me back for scaring off those goons." Seriously, I wasn't looking to get into that kind of a situation.

"Tom not want keep Vhip?" He sounded sad, like I had just broken his heart.

God that stung.

"Keep, no. I'm not -keeping- you. But I'm happy to stay with you in your place. I just don't like being called 'master'. There's a lotta gross, nasty things that tend to come with that. How about you just call me your boyfriend?" We'd had sex, I was living with him, and we had already slept in the same bed together, it only made sense.

And that seemed to be agreeable to the little guy. He smiled up at me and made his adorable little growl noise.

"Okay! Tom not master, Tom boyfriend!" He sounded really excited at the idea.

And that was when I realized I wasn't going to get much sleep that night. Vhip was moving again, grinding himself against me as hard as he could. He was interested in a round two. It had been maybe five minutes since the last. I guess I hadn't satisfied him enough. Or maybe he thought I hadn't been satisfied enough. I don't know exactly.

The rest of that night was a bit of a blur if I'm honest. I do remember rolling over and feeling him pin me. I guess it wasn't so much pin as it was just him hugging me from behind. I woke up sore, and in the best way possible. If this was what I could expect, then maybe staying here wouldn't be such a bad thing.

When morning finally came, I woke up feeling pretty sticky. That's what happens if you do the sex at one another and don't bother cleaning up. Let's call that a public service message for the kids in high school. Wash your crap. But sticky wasn't the only change from the previous night. Vhip was gone, just like yesterday. He was in the kitchen, cooking up another delicious smelling breakfast just like he had done already. And he was big.

He hadn't gotten taller or buffer. No, his belly had gotten bigger. He looked just as pregnant as he had when he got home from work yesterday. And he was happy. Oh he was happy. I had seen him smile before. This was a whole other level. This was free slice of chocolate cake because the restaurant was slow with your order happy.

What? I like to use food for my metaphors sometimes. And yeah, chocolate cake makes me happy. So sue me.

"Hey there, buddy. You're looking... round." Oh yeah, king of dirty talk.

Vhip squeaked in surprise as soon as he heard me. He plated up and raced over with breakfast for both of us. He was a chatty little bugger this time. He couldn't stop talking about how he was going to get a big bonus for coming in already primed for laying. He told me not to worry about the sheets and the couch had already been cleaned. He washed the dishes, gave me a kiss on the nose, then hurried on his way off to work.

Again, I was left all by myself. I felt a little like a pet cat or dog, waiting for his owner to come back at the end of the day. But I could do something a cat or a dog couldn't do, at least back where I was from. I could take a shower. The tub was, just like everything else, out in the open, but off to one side. It had a curtain to help contain the spray and the steam, but not really so much for privacy. It was clear plastic.

When I was good and clean and felt civilized again, I wrapped up in a towel that was a little too small for me and looked at myself in the mirror. I had needed a shave the day I arrived, and I was just getting scruffier and scruffier. I didn't think Vhip would have any need to shave, but then I had no idea. Maybe lizards grew hair in this world. So, with as innocent a reason to do so as I could have, I had a look through his medicine cabinet.

No, I wasn't nosing around looking into his personal things. I legit needed a razor and some shaving cream. Surprisingly, he actually had some of both. I used a new razor--I'm not an inconsiderate jackass after all--and resolved to let Vhip know that I'd probably need to get my own set so I wouldn't have to use his all the time. Here I was, moving in and it was the start of my second whole day.

Now, I know I said I wasn't looking through his personal things, but when you go looking through someone's medicine cabinet, even if it's just to hunt down a razor, you see some things. And it just so happened I found a pill bottle. You know those orange ones you get from the pharmacist for prescription stuff? It had Vhip's name on it, and the description told me exactly what it was.

These were the pills he used to turn himself into, well, part girl. I don't know what the proper term is here. Back home I had heard of one, but then I was hearing that it wasn't exactly polite to use since some folks took it as an insult. I don't want to piss anyone off so I decided I should probably just ask before making an ass of myself. Point is, he still had some pills left. At least a dozen from my estimation.

Vhip had made it sound rather appealing, this business of being both. And the whole thing about laying eggs. It wasn't exactly something one just dove into without careful consideration for all the potential consequences. People had to give this kind of thing a lot of serious thought back home because we didn't have pills that just let you go be whatever you want just that easy. It was a serious, weighty matter.

I should have taken more than just five minutes to think about it. But you know what? Screw what I said earlier. I -am- a pervert. I've always wondered what it was like to be on that side of the spectrum, what it felt like, what all came with it, the whole thing. I never really had much reason to think about making a change back home because I didn't have that feeling that I was in the wrong body. I was just curious what it was like.

Well, I was going to find out. I could try it for a little while, then it would wear off. That's what Vhip had said. And the bottle said to take one pill every hour for as long as necessary. It said the effects would wear off very shortly after that point. So, I would be part girl for an hour, see what I thought. The change was shockingly fast. I swallowed the pill, and within about three minutes, I felt this weird, warm sensation in my stomach. It moved lower and spread out through my hips and down my thighs.

Then, it just kind of vanished. I didn't exactly feel any different. So it was time to see if I had joined the ranks of whatever team Vhip played on. My approach was very scientific. I reached down under my sac and rubbed around. Yup, something was different. And it made me feel real funny, like my legs were going to fall out from under me. My highly scientific mind recognized that if that happened, I would fall and hit the ground. And that had the nasty side effect of giving you a head injury. I congratulated myself on my deductive reasoning and made the command decision to remove that particular hazard. I sat my ass down on the couch.

There I was. Naked save for a towel. Alone. And in possession of a brand new, functional woman's reproductive system right next to the standard issue John T. Boner model. I really didn't feel any different. Not until I did something. I rubbed my thighs together and that was when I felt something a little different, and it was kinda nice, but nothing earth shattering. What's an earth man to do?

You know exactly what I did. I'll bet there are plenty of red-blooded human males, many of the 'alpha male' variety, who wouldn't have waited to get to the couch. That's why they would have fallen and hit their heads. The betas would have sat down on the edge of the tub. Better, but not much in the way of support. That could result in slippage that might send a subject tumbling into the tub. Again, head injury, no good. That's why I'm part of the final release. Sure I haven't gotten all the updates and patches to fix some key bugs, but I'm not 'fatal-error' prone.

And I'm still a guy. I'm not going to apologize for what I did.

I shoved my hand back under my sac and rubbed around again. It felt like being tased, but in a good way. Yeah, I've been tased. It's a long story. I kept rubbing, not sure what I was expecting to find happen, but as I did, I felt that new little crevice split open. I couldn't let that go unexplored, so I very carefully pressed a finger against the opening. I slipped into myself surprisingly easily.

And my breath slipped out of me just as easily. Holy crap. If just rubbing over it was a little like being tased, this was like sticking your tongue in a wall socket. Okay maybe not your tongue. Maybe something a bit lower down. I kept it up, rubbing around in that new tunnel of mine. It was really warm, a bit like sticking your finger in your mouth, only way more so, and without teeth. I can't speak for what it's like for ladies who are born with it, but for me, having just gotten my hands on one of my own, that's what it felt like, really warm.

I kept rubbing, obsessed with how smooth it was inside, and slick, and hot. It didn't help that I was still naked and still a little damp from the shower. The rest of me felt a little cold. But that was changing, rapidly. The heat that was warming my finger was spreading, working its way up through me, making me feel like the droplets of water on my skin were sweat. I leaned back on the couch and let my voice start to carry. My arm wasn't burning like last night, but it was starting to complain. It didn't take much to push me over the edge. And it was entirely by accident.

I had heard of this one spot ladies have deep inside somewhere. I'm not sure where it is, but it's this one place that if you hit it just right, oh boy do they scream. And no, I'm not talking about the clitoris. Yeah, I had one of those too. And I wasn't ignoring it. I kept my thumb on the button if you get my drift. But this spot, it's supposed to be a nerve cluster or something. I wasn't thinking about it, trying to find it or anything. But I did find it. And the minute I did, it went from wall outlet to an entire substation coursing through me.

I screamed and made a god awful sticky mess. I hadn't even noticed that I had gotten hard, but I had, and it had gone off like a shotgun blast all over my front. My entire hand was dripping when I pulled it back up. I was out of breath and my vision was blurry. It had felt like it had only been a quick pop, like a balloon bursting. But when I looked down, the splatter on my stomach and chest said I had been in some sort of daze for at least a couple of minutes.

I was in serious damn trouble now. If that was what it was like for a lady, it made a lot of things perfectly crystal clear to me. I had been going about it all wrong when I was with a girl. This wasn't just a perverted indulgence. This was an educational experience. I had a chance to learn something no guy back home could possibly understand, how to actually, properly please a woman. And I was going to be the master.

I was hooked. As soon as I got that first powerful jolt, I wanted more. And the second time I got there, it was less a pop and more a slow burn that made me wriggle and whine like a puppy being teased. But good lord did it feel good. When my hour was up, I was exhausted. I couldn't breathe without sounding like I had run twenty miles. I stroked over my new little friend--you know, the man in the canoe--and just savored the warm waves washing over me.

Then it just kind of stopped. The warmth vanished, and so did the man. So did the canoe. The description on the bottle wasn't joking around. It wore off fast. I sat there for a few minutes and frowned, feeling like it had ended in a way other than how I wanted it to. I didn't like that. It's like being stuck in a shit job and getting fired. You're happy you're out of there, but you're pretty pissed off that it wasn't on your terms. I was going to be my own boss on this, dammit.

I got up and marched back to the medicine cabinet. I downed another pill, waited a few minutes just like before, and the warmth returned. A happy, dopey smile stretched across my face. I know because I was looking at myself in the mirror and I looked like an idiot. A happy idiot. I was a mess from all the 'practice' I had gotten in, so another rinse in the shower was in order, and maybe while I was in there, I could learn a thing or two more. Women everywhere would come to fear my powers of stimulation. Or come to love it. Yeah, I'm not a supervillain. But if I was, I'd have a rocking superpower.

Yeah, I ended up masturbating pretty much the rest of the day. When one pill wore off, I took another. I even set a timer to warn myself when I was running out so I could take another before the previous one ran out. There wasn't much more I could learn about myself by the time Vhip got home. And he found me on the couch, fondling myself, moaning, digging my fingers into one of the pillows as I struggled to satisfy this unrelenting desire I'd found I had.

What had I done to myself? Was I just going to be constantly aroused, always needing to get off all the time? No woman I had been with, or seen on TV, or on the street, or in the movies, or anywhere ever acted like this. Something was wrong, I was sure of it. But it was such a good kind of wrong.

"Tom okay?" Vhip hurried over to me as soon as he walked in.

He was just as bloated as he had been when he left. It looked like he had been allowed to come home with another clutch to cook with. We were going to have eggs coming out of our ears at this point. But that was kind of not the biggest problem at that particular moment.

"I... I... I can't stop... It... feels too good." I had been panting pretty much all day.

I had passed out a few times. Breathing hot and heavy like that constantly will do that to you.

"Stop what? What Tom do?" Vhip asked, then his nose wrinkled as he took a sniff of the air.

He sniffed again, several times, then his eyes grew wide when he realized what was going on. He had smelled it on me. Honestly, I was surprised he didn't pick up on it when he got within a hundred paces of the cave. I was surprised no one else had come to check on me from all the noise I was making. Though, I could have sworn I had heard someone clapping at one point.

I was weak. I'd been going pretty much all day. I had stopped to get food around lunch, but only enough to shut my stomach up, not enough to last long enough to make it to dinner. It was ridiculous. I felt like I was a kid again, only just finding out about the whole self-appreciation thing. Only this was a hundred times worse. I had lost count of how many times I'd made myself go off. With one very shaky arm, I reached over and collected the pill bottle and held it up for Vhip to see. He recognized it immediately.

"I... can't stop. I just can't," I was out of breath and my mind was only just now beginning to spool back up, and then it hit me, "Wait, you're home? What time is it?"

"Vhip get home at five," he walked a little closer, his eyes wide as he peered at the bottle, "How many Tom take?"

"I dunno... maybe four? The last one was around lunch time. That was... five hours ago. I haven't changed back. It hasn't worn off." I was in serious trouble now. I was convinced of it.

Vhip however didn't seem upset or angry. He was in shock, sure, but not mad.

"You made change and stayed! You went quick! Vhip took almost whole week!" He was clasping his hands against his chest, fingers interlaced like he was seeing something precious.

I suppose that could have been me, given how attached he had gotten, and how fast he'd gotten that way.

"Vhip, this isn't good. I can't stop futzing with myself. It's... it's like an addiction!" I couldn't help but moan, feeling the fire between my legs building back up.

"Side effect of pill. It make want sex real hard." the kobold nodded, looking as if he was just delivering the most ordinary of information.

"Well that's all well and good, but I can't have sex! I'll end up pregnant!" I shouted a bit louder than I should have.

"Tom make egg!? Boss lady say she looking for new person! Vhip get Tom job!" he bounced on his feet, making his belly wobble just a little.

"No, Vhip! I can't make eggs! I'm a human! Human's don't make or lay eggs! I'll get pregnant! Like for real pregnant! Like have a baby! I need to see a doctor! I need to undo this!" As soon as I said it, I actually regretted even thinking it.

It had been one hell of a day. Was I really ready to give that up? Vhip said the pills had a side effect of increasing sex drive, so maybe I could just wait it out. Then I could have a little more casual fun rather than a day-long marathon. But that whole getting pregnant thing did freak me out. And I wasn't sure that Vhip fully understood.

"Vhip help Tom, make Tom relax. Then Vhip help Tom get job, make egg. Boss lady know what do." he nodded again, confident in his answer.

"Okay, sure, I'll talk to the boss lady. Maybe she can point me to a doctor to figure this out. Then... wait," I was really working hard just to keep my head on straight, "Help? What do you mean help? And don't say sex! I can't have sex! I don't make eggs, Vhip!"

"Vhip help Tom relax. Tom like. Promise. Vhip like too." he grinned and leaned in to give me a kiss.

That alone helped ease my tension a bit. But as soon as he pulled away, it flared right back up. I felt a bit like one of those puzzles in those adventure games with the elf guy in the green outfit; stand on a switch, fire goes out, step off the switch, fire comes back. Before I had a chance to ask what the little guy was doing, he was down on his knees between my legs. I looked down as soon as I noticed he wasn't standing and watched as he wrapped his lips around me. I was tired, but still stiff as a board. He licked me clean, which wow did his tongue do a fantastic job, and then he pulled off.

I was actually a little disappointed that he didn't stick around. Then he moved on to the next target. I felt his blunt little snout push up under my sac and found what had only been around for about eight hours. I have no idea what it looked like. Okay that's not true, I have some idea. I've seen pictures, and I've slept with a few girls. I know the general idea. I just didn't know what -mine- looked like specifically, if it's got any unique features or whatever. Vhip got to see it before I did. And he bumped his nose right up against it.

I went limp on the couch, my legs spread wide. I felt him take a deep breath through his nostrils. The rush of air over my groin was enough to make me shiver. Clearly he liked what he had found because he began to lick. His tongue felt good up on 'The Ole Captain'--hey, I'm still work-shopping name ideas--but it felt even better when he introduced himself to Lady Scarlet, and she was all too happy to make his acquaintance. It was a regular tea party down there with all the slurping and sipping going on. I just hoped he wouldn't try to bite the biscuits if you get my drift.

I was a little too high to care in the moment. And no I don't mean I'd found his stash. I don't think he even had any. I don't think he needed it. I'm sure someone could rattle off all the chemicals and hormones running through my head making me feel the way I was, but I'm no biochem major. And frankly, I didn't care. All I knew is he was doing a fine job of figuring out how to keep the fires put out. With how good a job he was doing down there, he could have dragged the rock onto the switch with his tongue.

And then something weird happened. I felt a weird stretch, like he was trying to wedge something inside me. It wasn't the high-yield torpedo he had sunk into me the night before. It was his nose. He was shoving his muzzle inside me! And god did it feel good! I hadn't felt anything like it before in my entire life, and heaven help me, I was hoping that he wouldn't stop anytime soon. He didn't. And I mean he really didn't. He just kept pushing, cramming his nose in deeper and deeper, and I just kept stretching more and more.

It was around then that I sort of lost track of what was going on. I could still feel everything, but I wasn't paying real close attention. I was kind of lost in my own head. I think I heard someone call it a trance or a fugue state or something. It just felt like whatever was between my legs was burrowing deeper into me. It had been Vhip's muzzle, right? I don't know why my memory had turned so fuzzy. But I felt something big slide in between my legs and it kind of stole my breath away. And it didn't stop. I could feel something moving, trying to press onward, and I couldn't think of anything other than just sitting there and experiencing it.

The thing pushing its way in just kept going. It got wider, forcing me to stretch right along with it. I'm sure I screamed. Yeah, screamed, not a manly shout or a bellow or a holler. I screamed. Probably high-pitched too. I didn't care. It was the most intense, euphoric thing I'd ever felt. And it just kept getting wider and wider. Whatever it was pushing into me was smooth, and it wiggled a lot. And one really big part of it was round. If I had been watching, and I had been clear of mind, I'd be completely stunned at how far I had managed to reach without ripping open.

When that big, round whatever was through, I closed right up around a skinnier part. The noises coming from between my legs had to be pretty crude and ear-catching. I'm sure anyone walking past the entrance of the cave could hear it. I was sure that the couch was going to need cleaning again, even if I hadn't already soaked it all day long. The wiggling thing being pushed into me kept going, feeling like two, long, fat rods and then a third one that was shorter and skinnier. I huffed and groaned and squirmed on the couch as it all just fed into me. Little by little, it tapered down, then it came to something of a kind of blunt but thin point, and it was gone.

I sprawled on the couch, struggling to breathe. I didn't know what Vhip had done, but if I could get him to do it again, then maybe I wouldn't feel so bad about staying. He was a curious little lizard guy, but he had been a pretty positive force in my life, especially considering the dry spell I had been going through until I met him. I guess we all just have to find someone that clicks with us, gets us, and maybe makes us scream real good. And damn did Vhip fit that role really well.

"I don't know what you did, but holy shit. That was one hell of a ride." My voice was ragged, probably hoarse from all the screaming.

I didn't hear any sort of answer, but I did notice that the fires weren't coming back right away. That was good. And it was in that moment that I realized that there was a pretty significant weight pushing down on me. On my stomach and hips. It wasn't painful. Actually, it was pretty pleasant. I lifted my hands and tried to feel across my abdomen, and that's when I realized something really shocking. I looked down and I wasn't skinny anymore.

Okay so I wasn't exactly skinny before. I had a bit of pudge to work on, but I was going to start taking care of that. I had been looking at gyms, trying to pick one that I liked. And I was laying off the double cheeseburgers. I only got singles now. But getting back to the point, now I was huge! Like the kind of huge Vhip had been when he got home with a belly full of eggs!

"What the hell!?" It seemed like an appropriate response to suddenly seeing yourself well beyond what was considered normal size for being pregnant.

I jerked my hands away and pushed them down onto the cushions of the couch, trying to support myself. I was freaking out all over again. What had that little lizard done to me? And where was he? I closed my legs--at least as far as I could--but he wasn't there. It was like he just vanished. And then I felt something move under my skin. I could even see it. The big, round dome of a gut I was trapped under actually moved. I felt like I was in the movie where the guy gets that thing on his face, then it pops out of his chest. Was I going to rip open? What the hell was inside me? And why did it feel so good?

Seriously, there wasn't any pain. Just this really strong sense of warmth and something I don't really know how to describe accurately. I guess it was a feeling of content. I was content. I was losing my mind but I was content. How the hell did I manage that confusing mix of emotions?

"Tom comfy inside. Vhip like." came a familiar voice, though it sounded muffled.

You know how you expect someone to sound when their face is being squeezed while they talk? Imagine that, but also their head is pushed under a pillow. That's kind of what it sounded like. And it came from inside me.

"Vhip!? What the hell!?" Again, it seemed like a reasonable question.

"Tom easy to crawl into. Stretch good. Vhip like. Tom like too?" He was just as casual about this as when he told me about his job laying eggs.

"I... I don't know man, this is really weird!" I didn't want to say I liked it, even though there was that feeling of content, and the raging fire hadn't come roaring back.

"Tom get used to it. Vhip want stay. Tom let Vhip stay?" he squirmed again.

I moaned and brought my hands back to my stomach. I really as huge. I had heard people call their gut a 'spare tire' when they were pretty fat. Now I felt like I was carrying one for real. And every second I spent rubbing my belly, the more I realized just how much I was enjoying it. I tried to play back over what had happened in my head, the feeling of something being pushed into me, what it felt like, the shape it took. And then it hit me. It was Vhip. Vhip had been what was pushing into me. He had crawled right up inside me. I had been part girl for less than a full day and already I was pregnant. Sort of.

That was when the fire started to come back. I could feel that familiar, uncomfortable ache between my legs. I had been jerking off and fingering myself all day, and I was still rock hard. So hard I felt like I needed to blow off some steam again, all because I had my little kobold friend curled up inside me. This really wasn't going to end well for me, I was sure of it.

"H-h-h-how long do you plan on staying... exactly?" I asked, not necessarily wanting to kick the little guy out right away.

For all I knew, that might be where the discomfort came into play.

"Vhip want stay until have to go to work. Want stay all weekend." he replied, then pressed out from inside me.

I could feel one of his hands and his nose pushing outward. It even made a couple of lumps in what was otherwise a smooth, largely round gut. And it made me shiver just as strong as when he first stuck his tongue between my thighs. I moved my hands to where he was stretching me and grit my teeth to keep from making another moan.

"All... weekend? You want to stay... all weekend!?" I'm not gonna lie, the idea that I was going to be like this for a few days actually made my heart flutter a little.

I didn't think I'd actually dig this sort of thing, but now that I was in the middle of it, or I guess now that he was in the middle of me, I was kind of enjoying it. He squirmed again, only a little. I could feel his legs, his back, his feet, even his tail. I could feel pretty much every major feature of his squat little frame. And his belly. God, he had squeezed that egg-filled belly into me, and I could feel it too. Why in the hell was I enjoying this so much?

"Yeah, Vhip stay all weekend. Make Tom relax. Vhip have someone inside before, make Vhip relax. Vhip rather have egg. Vhip like being in someone, not have someone in Vhip. Vhip like inside Tom. Tom real good master." He started to make that really cute purr noise, and the vibration, oh good lord, I thought I was gonna melt.

That sealed the deal. I couldn't kick him out. Not right away. I'd play along and keep him where he was for a day or two, then let him back out in time for work. But there was something that rubbed me the wrong way.

"Vhip, what did we talk about? I'm not your master." I gazed sternly at my belly and gave it a good squeeze.

I kind of wanted a picture of what I looked like now, just so I could see how ridiculous I looked. And, okay maybe so I could jack off to it later. I was making the transition to enjoying it pretty quick.

"Vhip sorry. Tom real good boyfriend." he said, then stretched me one more time.

I could even feel his tail pushing against whatever little entrance he had crawled through. For a moment, it felt like he might push hard enough to make it open and slip back out. I grunted and crossed my legs at the ankle, trying to squeeze my thighs together. It was purely out of instinct. I actually wanted to keep him inside me. How crazy is that?

"Okay... better. So um... what do I do now? You're in there. I might be able to walk, but... do I need to do anything? Like... get you air or something?" I wasn't exactly thrilled at the prospect of shoving a hose up there with him, but I did worry.

"Tom take care of Vhip. Tom already doing it. Vhip connected, happy to stay long time if Tom want." he answered.

"Connected? Take care?" It took me a little bit to understand, "Wait, like with an umbilical cord or something? I'm like... for real pregnant with you?"

"Tom take good care Vhip. Vhip happy. Vhip stay long as Tom want." he purred all the louder.

I was breathless. My second full day in this new world and I've already got a boyfriend who happens to be a kobold, and who also happens to lay eggs for a living, and who also just happens to have crawled his way into a womb I didn't have ten hours ago. It was a lot to take in. I just sat there, quiet, for at least ten minutes, trying to work my way through all of it. And then I felt a different rumble. It wasn't Vhip's cute little purrs which I was starting to have a bit of fun getting him to make by squeezing or pressing on him. I was hungry. Really hungry. I had been pretty starved before all of this, but now I felt like I hadn't eaten in a couple of days.

Right, it made total sense. I was going to be eating for two. A goofy, stupid little giggle came out of me when I realized it and tried to push myself up onto my feet. Vhip was heavy, but I'd carried him in my arms the night before, so it wasn't that surprising. What was surprising was how that weight fell on me. I cupped my hands under the big, fat belly I was hauling around and leaned back. The bulk of the weight landed on my hips, forcing me to take a wider stance than usual. I felt it pull on my spine and force me to suck in a breath. A powerful tingle ran through my groin and I shivered again.

After a moment, I worked up the courage to take a few steps. That warm tingle returned each time I felt one of my feet fall on the smooth, cool, stone floor. Oh good god, I was in deep trouble. I was finding more things about this whole setup that I was liking more and more. I waddled my way to the kitchen, grunting with every step and trying not to just sit down right there to fondle myself again. I might not be able to get up. I raided the fridge and found some leftovers. I heated them up and stuffed myself silly. I had to have gone through enough for two people. I guess that was the whole idea. But it satisfied. Vhip just purred away, twitching against me from time to time.

A shower was out of the question. I didn't have the strength to stay on my feet long enough. Bed was the answer. I waddled over, sat down on the edge, then scooted in and flopped down on my back. Vhip's weight pressed down on me and I sighed, hugging the giant gut he had given me. It was so weird to think that this was something I enjoyed now. If only my friends back home could see me. They would probably haul me off to the hospital for exploratory surgery.

That was a dark thought and I didn't enjoy it, so I pushed it away. I liked feeling the things I was feeling. I liked Vhip. I liked where he lived. I liked how things had gone so far in this new world. Chances were good I wouldn't be going home anytime soon, if ever. And if I got the chance, I'd have to leave Vhip behind. I didn't like that thought either.

"Well, I guess this makes it official," I waited for my little kobold boyfriend to say something, but when I heard his cute little snores, I realized he had fallen asleep, "This is home now. I hope you don't mind, buddy."

Vhip didn't answer. He just continued to snore quietly. It sent a little tingle up the back of my neck. I couldn't help but grin and rub over him. He had thrown himself into this whole arrangement without any hesitation. And for him, it had worked out pretty well. He had a new boyfriend who had kept him from getting beaten up and taken by those thugs, and he even had managed to crawl right up into a very confined spot to sleep, a spot he was getting to curl up in for the weekend. Maybe longer depending on how I felt.

Yeah, I wasn't going back. I didn't want to leave Vhip. I wanted to keep him close. He was a sweet little guy, and it really did feel good having him inside me like this. Never in a million years would I have thought this would be possible. And here I was, pregnant with a kobold who wanted to call me master. Maybe I'd warm up to that whole thing, if only just to play around. Could be cute. But I did like it when he called me a 'real good boyfriend'.

If I was going to continue to be a 'real good boyfriend', then I was going to need to take better care of him than I had been. He had been doing a lot for me. I needed to do more for him. Maybe that boss lady of his could get me a job after all. Besides, two incomes are better than one. Then again, if Vhip decided he didn't want back out, I'd need a job of my own. God, just thinking about keeping him in me forever was enough to make me wiggle all over again.

But I didn't want to get ahead of myself. I needed to get through the weekend first. And so far, it was shaping up to be a pretty awesome weekend.