Good Enough/Crossroads Chapter 6
#6 of Crossroads
Make sure you check out Lupine Catastrophe He's an awesome writer and my collaborator on this project
Good Enough--Crossroads--Chapter Six--Training Day One
"So," David said ominously as they pulled into the neighborhood, "what're you doing at this friend's house again?"
"Studying," Chance answered uncertainly, shifting awkwardly in the passenger seat. His father's gaze peered over at him before glancing down at the GPS on his son's phone.
"What exactly are you two studying?" David wondered. "Who is this friend anyway? And what's with the extra clothes?"
Chance gripped the small bag of clothes closer to him. "Zack."
"Zack who? How do you know him?"
"From school."
"Charles, I'm losing my patience. Before you get out of this car, you will give me two answers; what're you studying and who is this friend?"
Chance sighed. "We're studying... physical health and his name's Zack Bailey and he's in the art club and--"
"Physical health? You mean gym? How the hell do you study for gym?" David scoffed. Then, his eyes narrowed. "So help me, if you're failing gym class, I'm going to--"
"You have arrived," the computerized voice on the GPS announced. Chance breathed a sigh of relief and got out of the car; the house they had pulled up to was a nice little abode, with a neatly kept lawn and the garage door open, revealing a workout equipment. Two vehicles were parked in the driveway, one of which Chance recognized as Zack's. The other, he assumed, belonged to one of Zack's parents but he thought no more of it as he hurried to the front door.
"Charles, this discussion isn't over!" David called from the car.
"Okay," Chance answered, hurrying up to the door. He glanced behind him; his father was watching intently, unblinkingly. Slightly nervous, Chance reached to ring the doorbell, willing himself to look calm and collected. Play it cool, he told himself. Act like you belong here...
The door swung open and Chance flashed a small grin at Zack Bailey who glanced over him curiously, studying him almost analytically. Chance shifted awkwardly as he opened his mouth to speak.
"Um... hi..." You sound like you're about to piss yourself... Get a grip!
"Hi," Zack answered, standing aside. "Come on in."
"Y-yeah, okay," Chance grumbled as he stepped over the threshold. He quickly realized that he had stepped into the living room, amazed to see the other jackals of the Bailey family waiting, watching him as though he had just done something incredible. The sound of the front door closing broke the odd trance that had seemed to captivate them as Zack soon appeared beside him.
"Charlie, these are my parents," Zack said, indicating the two older jackals. "And this is Seth," he added, pointing towards the younger jackal. "Everyone, this is Charlie."
Charlie? Nobody calls me Charlie. I should--
The older male stepped forward, grinning as he extended his paw towards him. Maybe this was where Zack got his size, from the hulking giant who loomed over him. "Nice to meet you, Charlie," came the deep, resonant voice. "I'm Zackery's father."
Chance shook Mr. Bailey's paw, almost frightened that his own would get crushed. "Heh, nice to meet you too," he said nervously.
Mrs. Bailey soon stepped forward as well, shaking Chance's paw eagerly. "It really is great to finally meet you! We'll have to catch up later if you have time before you leave."
"Y-yeah," Chance answered. "My dad's kind of busy today so I've got a lot of time. Thanks for having me over, Mrs. Bailey."
"I think it's time for me to go," Seth announced suddenly, standing as he walked towards the door.
Mr. Bailey perked up slightly and chortled a bit. "Okay, I'm coming," he said, retrieving car keys from the coffee table. "That's Seth by the way, one of our younger sons. Sorry he can't be here today. He's spending some time with a friend today."
Chance nodded. "It's okay. I understand."
Mr. Bailey smiled calmly as he followed his son out the door, closing it behind him.
"Uh, I think we should get started too," Zack said. He extended his paw. "I'll take your clothes, if you want." Chance looked down; he had forgotten that he had brought the extra clothes with him and he handed them over. "Go ahead and wait in the garage. I'll be out in a minute."
Chance nodded silently. He gave Mrs. Bailey another look (with what he hoped was a kind smile) and went back out through the front door. He stepped towards the garage and peered around. It looked as though Zack had turned the garage into his personal gym, expensive-looking equipment packed inside neatly. His tail began to wag in his excitement, but that quickly stopped when he heard Zack's voice.
"How's your day been?" the jackal's voice asked, causing Chance to jerk slightly.
Chance turned to look at him, Zack leaning against the house. He looks so cool... "It's only noon so..." Chance started, rubbing the back of his head. "We'll see."
Zack exhaled. "Fair enough. You ready?"
Chance nodded shyly, looking back towards the equipment. He somehow felt intimidated by simply looking. "As ready as I'll ever be," he said uncertainly.
"Good," Zack said, pushing off the wall to stand up straight. "So, first things first: we need to stretch."
Chance hesitated. "Oh, I thought we were going to do pushups or something."
"We are," Zack assured him. "We'll get to that. But it's always important to stretch first before you start your routine. That way you don't pull a muscle and hurt yourself."
Chance nodded, looking away. "I knew that," he lied.
He felt a pat on his shoulder and Chance exhaled. Somehow, Zack's gesture relaxed Chance a bit. Zack soon stepped back, bringing his arm across his chest and holding it there before switching to the other arm.
"Go ahead and do whatever stretches you want," Zack said. Chance watched as he bent down to reach for his toes. "We can measure your flexibility later. I want to focus on something else for now."
Chance nodded and for the next few minutes, mimicked his teacher, doing the same stretches that he saw Zack doing--he found himself carefully watching Zack's movements and studying them closely. He wasn't sure how long they had been stretching when Zack spoke up again.
"Okay, so now we're going to go for a jog around the neighborhood."
Chance swallowed. "You mean the whole neighborhood?"
"Yep," Zack said excitedly, moving towards the sidewalk. Chance followed sheepishly behind. "Just follow me. The route we're taking is about a mile long. Don't worry. As long as you keep a decent pace, it shouldn't be too bad." Chance smiled meekly as he got into position slightly behind Zack, imitating Zack's posture. "Remember, just follow me and keep up. Okay... Ready... set... go!"
Zack charged off with a remarkable burst of speed and began to dash across the pavement. Chance took off as well, though not nearly as fast or powerfully, trying his hardest to keep up. For a bit, Chance found himself keeping pace with Zack (though he was sure that Zack was intentionally going slower to allow him to keep up). But minutes later, his body began to throb painfully and his heart beat rapidly in his chest. He slowed to a stop, his paws on his knees and his breathing ragged as he attempted to call out to Zack.
"Zack, wait!" Chance breathed. "I need a break. Can we--?"
"No," Zack answered, turning around. Soon enough, he was pushing Chance forward, despite Chance's attempt to protest. "Don't stop. Never stop! Speed walk with me. Let's go!"
"But I--" Chance started breathlessly. He started to fall into a slower rhythm with Zack, despite the achy feeling developing in his body. "I need some water."
"You can drink water when we get back, I promise," Zack said. "But whatever you do, don't stop. Not only are you padding your time, you're making it harder for yourself. By stopping, you're tricking your body into thinking it's done which means it's harder to get going again."
"I... I..." Chance tried to think of an argument but his heavy panting made any real thinking nearly impossible. "I'm sorry."
Zack gave him a gentle pat on his shoulder. "It's okay. Don't be so hard on yourself. This is what you're here for after all."
When they arrived back at the house, Chance was once more completely breathless. Zack had convinced him to jog the last bit and he had gulped down his water immediately after returning to the shade of the garage. He hadn't really realized how hot he had been until the cool water rushed through his system, a feeling of relief that made Chance more grateful than he probably needed to be.
And then he saw something that made his body heat again. Zack stripped off his shirt, his body glistening with sweat and Chance couldn't help but stare in appreciation as the jackal flexed those muscles. And was he getting bigger or--?
Zack snapped in front of Chance's face, snapping him out of his trance. When had he stepped so close?
"Eyes up here, pup," Zack ordered.
Chance looked upwards towards Zack's dark eyes. He was sure that he had been staring with his mouth open and--yes, his tail had been wagging. "Oh my god, I'm sorry," he said. He turned and started to move out of the garage when he felt Zack grasp his shoulder once more.
"Don't be sorry. If I'm offended, I'll let you know." Zack's strong paw turned Chance back around. "I appreciate the attention, but try not to stare, okay?"
Chance's words fumbled out almost unintelligibly. "I... uh... Sorr--okay."
Zack chuckled and stepped into the garage. "So, are you ready to do some pushups?"
Chance groaned. "Already? I'm still worn out from all that running."
"We'll take a break after we do these and the sit-ups, I promise," Zack assured him. He motioned Chance over and Chance walked closer. Zack stood off to the side, arms crossed as he watched. "Alright, let's see what you can do."
Chance got down onto the floor and took his usual position. Almost at once, Zack barked at him, "Back straight!"
Chance flinched and looked up. "Huh?" Zack rolled his eyes slightly and knelt down, placed his paw on his back. Chance stiffened slightly at the touch.
"Shift your weight back towards your feet and lift your ass a little," Zack ordered. Chance was sure he was blushing but he tried to take Zack's advice. "A little more... there." Chance stopped. "Okay, go ahead."
With a shaky frame, Chance lowered then came back up. Then again. He was sure Zack was watching him very intently, and he tried his absolute hardest. But on his fifth pushup, he felt as though he was about to fall over, just barely holding his body up. Noise beside him alerted Chance to the fact that Zack was beside him, in the same position.
"Two more. You can do it," Zack encouraged.
Chance shook his head. "I can't--"
"Don't talk, just do it," Zack said. "Come on, let's go. Down..."
Chance carefully lowered, Zack lowering beside him.
"Up," Zack ordered. Chance lifted. "Good, one more time."
Chance wasn't sure how he had managed to get in one more pushup before he collapsed, breathing heavily and tiredly.
"You did good," Zack said after a few seconds, "but your form was a little off." Chance stood up and sat down on the weight bench, catching his breath. "I'm going to do my own pushups now and I want you to watch my form. Form is key."
And Zack began. Chance watched him in amazement and intrigue, counting as Zack did ten, twenty, thirty... How was he doing this? Chance's jaw dropped as Zack did his pushups confidently, no sign of hesitation, weakness or exhaustion. And when he did forty, Zack jumped up, energetic and confident.
"How'd you do that?" Chance questioned.
"Like I said," Zack said, standing, "form is key." He flexed a little. "Not only to make it easier; it also prevents you from getting hurt. And I've had plenty of practice too." Zack motioned him over. "Come on. Let's get these sit ups out of the way and then we can take a break." Chance nodded and dragged himself over, lying on the ground with bent knees. Zack grasped his feet and nodded. "Go ahead. Whenever you're ready."
Chance put his paws behind his head and tensed, lifting himself upright. He kept a count in his mind as he did his sit-ups, moderately aware that Zack was watching him closely. By the time he finished, Chance was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling, breathing hard.
"How much did you do?" Zack questioned.
"Eight," Chance said in a defeated tone.
"That's good," Zack said and Chance got the feeling that Zack was lying through his teeth. "We can work with that. You go ahead and take a break. I'll go get us a snack after I'm done, then I'll join you."
Chance nodded and grabbed his water bottle, taking a large gulp. He watched Zack do his sit-ups, once more going up to forty before he stopped and stood. He stretched briefly before walking towards the door.
"Be right back," Zack said.
A minute later, Zack had returned, tossing Chance a granola bar. Chance caught it easily enough and Zack soon seated himself beside Chance in the shade.
"You doing alright?" Zack asked.
Chance nodded, taking a swig of water. "I'll be fine. It's just a lot of work, that's all."
"You'll get used to it," Zack replied. Chance shot a glare at him as he began to open the granola bar. "Or maybe not," Zack chortled.
Chance took several quick bites of the bar, speaking as he did so. "I'll never get used to this! I don't know how you do it!"
Zack shrugged. "I guess 'cause I'm used to it. That and it's fun." He peered down at Chance. "You ever done something difficult 'cause you liked it? How about drawing? You do that a lot, right?"
"Well, yeah, but that's different," Chance insisted, gazing out of the garage into the street. Across the way, a small group of young pups were playing in a yard. "I've been drawing since I was a pup. And I didn't really notice how hard it is at times because it's just... fun."
Zack grinned. "See? It don't matter if it's hard if you like it enough." He looked out at the pups across the street, watching for a moment before nudging Chance. "I'm curious though. How did you decide to start drawing? Never thought someone like you would be into that."
Chance gave Zack an indignant, almost offended, glare. "What's that supposed to mean?" Zack shrugged and Chance shook his head. "I don't really know. I mean, I guess it wasn't really a conscious decision. Like I said, I always enjoyed it as a pup and my mom just kept buying me art supplies because she knew I liked it. That's pretty much it." He smiled a bit as he looked up at Zack. "How about you?" he questioned in intrigue. "Never thought someone like you would be into art."
Zack frowned at Chance, shrugging. "Nothing exciting here either. Went to my first art class in elementary and enjoyed it so I did some more on my own. Later on, I found out I was actually good at it so here I am."
"I have to say," Chance murmured, "I'm kind of surprised you're not on the football team or something instead."
"I'm a bit of a jock, I know," Zack snarled dismissively. He took a swig of water. "But the sports teams at school just aren't for me. I do what I want."
"But don't you ever get weird looks from other people in the club?" Chance wondered.
Zack shook his head. "I stopped giving a fuck a long time ago," he sighed. "Life's too short to be worrying about that crap. If you wanna do something just do it. Ain't nobody got the right to stop you." Chance nodded and looked up at Zack with intrigue. Somehow, Zack looked different now, more relatable, closer. Zack frowned down at him, saying, "What?"
Chance hurriedly looked away. "Nothing. Just thinking."
Zack stood and stretched, letting out a sigh. "You ready to get this last part out of the way?"
Chance swallowed, hurriedly finishing the granola bar. "I guess. What're we doing?"
"Benching," Zack answered. "My favorite part personally."
Chance watched Zack adjust the amount of weight on the bar over the bench, removing weight in a carefully calculated way. After he was finished, he motioned Chance over to recline on the bench. Chance frowned as he looked up at the bar.
"Don't worry," Zack said. "I'm your spotter. I've got you if you mess up." Chance laid down, his worry temporarily eased, though far from removed. He gripped the bar tightly, looking up at Zack who hovered over him. "Whenever you're ready."
"Okay..." Chance murmured. "Just... lift it?"
"Yep. And do it slowly. Don't want to get hurt."
Chance tightened his hold and slowly lifted the bar from its supports and over his head.
"Good, good," Zack said encouragingly. "Now bring it down more, over your chest... there you go. Now bring it down, slow and steady... Good, now back up."
Chance counted his reps as he listened to Zack's encouragement. He managed to get to five without much trouble, though his body began to shake and the bar started to rattle as he continued. Suddenly, Zack reached down, lifting the bar with a frown.
"You're done, put it back."
"No, wait," Chance huffed through gritted teeth. "I can do more--"
"No, you're done," Zack repeated, "put it back."
He took the bar from Chance's paws, replacing it onto the support. Chance sat upright, glaring at Zack. "Why'd you do that? I could've done more!"
"No, you couldn't," Zack blazed back. "You were about to hurt yourself!"
"No, I wasn't--"
"Charlie!" Zack placed both paws on Chance's shoulders, looking him directly in the eye. At once, Chance's rebellious urge suppressed and he fell silent. "Trust me. I've seen people get hurt because they've tried to take on too much. It's not pretty and I don't want that to happen to you, okay?"
Chance looked down, head hung in embarrassment. "I just wanted to try and do some more," he said. I wanted to impress you...
"I understand, really I do," Zack said in a comforting tone. "But remember, we're here to help you improve, not show off."
"I know. I'm sorry."
Zack sighed and shook his head. "We're done for today." He sniffed disdainfully. "You need a shower. You can use mine."
Ignoring the slight insult, Chance said, "Wait, aren't you going to lift too?"
"Yeah, I figured I'd finish up while you go wash up."
"Oh," Chance murmured, looking disappointed. "Um, could I watch?"
Zack hesitated with an answer. "Sure, I guess..."
"Great, I'll just... wait for you to load up all your weights." He let out a small laugh that Zack returned. Zack crossed to the rack, adding on more weight to the bar. He looked at them carefully before smiling over at Chance.
"You mind spotting me?"
Chance's jaw dropped. "What, me? I don't think I can hold all that weight."
"You won't have to. I'll do most of the heavy lifting. All you have to do is make sure I don't drop it."
"Okay," Chance murmured, walking over to the bar. "Well, I'm ready when you are, I guess..."
Zack began easily enough, gripping the bar and lifting it with minimal effort. Chance watched in amazement as Zack began to do his reps, a steady rhythm that left Chance slightly embarrassed at how meek his efforts had been. In the back of his mind, Chance wondered how often Zack did this to be able to pull it off so effortlessly. How much weight had he put on the bar? And--CLANG!!!
Zack had finished, replacing the bar on its support with a clang. He sat upright and rolled his shoulders, grinning happily. "Hell yeah!" Zack cheered. "That pump never gets old!"
"That was amazing!" Chance exhaled. "Do you do all this for your normal workout? Everyday?"
Zack shrugged calmly. "Kind of. I change it up to exercise different muscles, but yeah. I try to do this every day." He stood. "Alright, you should probably go shower now. You can use mine if you want. I'm going to do another short run and I'll be inside. Everything you need is in there; your clothes are on my bed. My room's upstairs and all the way down the hall."
Chance hesitated before saying anything. He considered asking to join Zack on his run, but instead he said, "Okay.... Have a good run...?"
"Thanks," Zack said. Chance nodded and turned towards the house. "Hey, Charlie?" Zack said. Chance turned. "You did good today."
Chance smiled, his eyes lighting with joy at the acknowledgement. "Thanks!"
Zack smiled back and waved him away. "Now go on, the shower's waiting. Oh, and Ma said you could stay for lunch if you want. She might be in the kitchen by the time you finish."
Chance nodded. "Okay, thanks!" He walked into the house, his tail wagging happily behind him.
When Chance returned downstairs, he saw young Tristan hurriedly carrying out a pitcher of lemonade into the backyard where Geoff was setting up a picnic table. Karen was about to follow, a tray of sandwiches in her paws, when she noticed him. She smiled kindly at him.
"So, would you care to join us for lunch?" she asked kindly.
"Yeah, thank you," Chance said. "Do you guys need some help?"
"Yes, please," she said. "Could you get the napkins and cups, please?" She pointed to them on the countertop. Chance nodded and grabbed them, taking them outside where the Bailey family was sitting down at the table. A platter of sandwiches was set in the middle of the table, beside the pitcher of lemonade and a bag of potato chips. Chance set down the napkins and cups.
"Take a seat, son," Geoff said encouragingly. Chance sat down. Karen stood and poured a cup of lemonade, setting it in front of Chance. Before Chance could thank her, Geoff said, "So, son, you like sports? You a sporty cub?"
"No," Chance relied. "I'm not very--Thank you," he said quickly as Karen set food in front of him. "I'm not very athletic."
"Really? I figured you'd be into sports since you came over to work out."
"Not really," Chance said. "I suck at sports. I actually asked him to train me for the fitness test at school."
"So, are you and Zack really close friends?" Karen wondered.
Chance was about to speak when he heard footfalls behind him. He glanced over his shoulder; Zack was approaching and he had changed. For a moment, Chance wasn't sure why the simple change of clothing had caught him off-guard. Then, it occurred to him.
"What?" Zack asked impatiently.
"You're not wearing black," Chance noted.
Zack looked down at himself, as though surprised by the white polo and khaki shorts. He shrugged and sat down beside Chance. "You find everything okay?"
"Yeah, nothing was too hard to find."
"Good," Zack said.
"Oh, by the way," Chance said, looking up at Zack. "I saw some of your art in your room--It was hung up!" he insisted hurriedly. "I wasn't looking through your stuff! One of your pictures... it looked like a wolf with green eyes... Was that me?"
Zack paused while he was reaching for a sandwich. He glanced over at Chance who felt his own face heat. "Maybe," Zack said finally, taking a sandwich from the platter. "I needed inspiration."
Chance smiled, his tail wagging happily.
"Aww, that's sweet," Karen said. "So, how'd you two meet?"
"At the art club," Zack said before Chance could answer.
"Oh, do you do art as well?" Karen wondered.
Chance looked down, nodding. "I mostly draw."
"Oh, that's cool," she said encouragingly. "You two should do a piece together!"
Chance smiled at the idea. He glanced up at Zack who looked strangely mortified as he made a slicing motion across his neck. Chance suppressed his urge to chortle at the clearly embarrassed jackal.
"So, what else do you do for fun, Charlie?" Geoff asked.
"Nothing really," Chance answered with a shrug. "I don't really have time for much else."
Geoff nodded. "I know that feeling. I did a lot of stuff with band in high school, so I didn't have a lot of extra time either." He shrugged. "What can I say? I was a bit of a nerd back then."
"Still are," Karen said from behind her cup.
"My point is," Geoff interjected above the laughter, "it's okay doing what you enjoy. Just don't be afraid to try new things. We tried to get Zack into a theater a while back but he didn't like it."
Chance coughed as he took a swig of lemonade. He looked up at Zack who had covered his face with his paw. Him, a theater cub?
"Oh, oh, I like it!" Tristan interjected. "I'm in the school play this year!"
"Tristan, don't interrupt," Karen reprimanded.
"Sorry," Tristan murmured sadly.
"What play are you doing?" Chance questioned in intrigue.
"The Lion King!" Tristan's youthful exuberance and excitement lit his eyes with joy. "I get to be a hyena! I'm so excited! But I need to memorize my lines still..."
"I can help you if you want," Zack offered.
"Nope," Tristan said. He stuck out his tongue petulantly. "I want it to be a surprise!"
Chance chuckled.
It was around half an hour later, with the majority of sandwiches gone and the lemonade drained, that the doorbell rang from inside the house. Chance stiffened and stood. "That must be my dad," he said, unable to keep the saddened tone from his voice. He had been enjoying himself.
"I'll go with you," Geoff said as he followed Chance into the house. Behind them, Zack followed.
Geoff opened the front door and, indeed, David stood there, looking impartial and indifferent.
"Good afternoon, sir," Geoff said, extending his paw. "You must be Charlie's father, yes?"
"Indeed," David answered, shaking Geoff's paw politely. "And please, call me David."
"Of course. I'm Geoff, Zack's father." He indicated his son. "And this is Zack."
"Hello," Zack said with a brief wave.
"Nice to meet you," David said. "My son didn't cause too much trouble, I hope."
"Oh, not at all! He was a pleasure to have over." Geoff grinned at Chance. "You're welcome back anytime, son."
"Speaking of which, how's next weekend sound?" Zack asked. "Same time?"
Chance smiled, nodding happily. "Yeah, sounds great."
"Good to hear," Geoff said scratching his chin in intrigue. "I can hardly remember the last time you had someone over. Who was the last person to visit, Zack?"
A shadow crossed Zack's face. "My ex," he said darkly.
"Ah, that's right," Geoff said, slightly put out. "That didn't exactly go over well, did it?"
Zack shrugged. "His fault, not mine." Chance's mind suddenly whirled. His? A guy? Is Zack's ex a guy? Is he gay?... Does he like me?
"I suppose," Geoff murmured. "In any case, you're always welcome back. Our door's always open."
"Thanks. See you on Monday, Zack."
Zack grinned and waved. "Yeah, see you later."
"Charles," David said as they pulled away from the neighborhood, "that jackal. Are you two friends?"
"Yeah," Chance answered. "His name's Zack."
"I know," David said. "Is he... homosexual?"
Chance hesitated with his answer. "Honestly, I don't know. I don't think so." Then, with an almost challenging tone, he said, "Is that a problem if he is?" "You know how I feel about that," David snarled. "I thought you'd be over this gay stuff already."
"Over it? Dad, I'm gay," Chance replied desperately. "How many times do I have to say it? I'm gay." He sighed. "Why do you have such a problem with it? Does it make you love me less?"
"Charles..."
"Mom wouldn't have a problem with it."
"I'm not your mother."
"Sometimes I wish you were..."
It had been a little while since he'd really done this. Perhaps he simply hadn't been interested in it since moving. Or maybe it was the fact that he had something new to fantasize about. Chance suppressed a moan as he began to close his paw around his length, pumping slowly to draw out the enjoyment. Without a doubt, he needed this.
Shift your weight backwards...
The memory of Zack's voice played over in his mind. He thought of that jackal, those muscles and that toned body. That voice...
Lift your ass a little....
Chance did, rising slightly from his bed. Carefully, he brought his paw over towards his hole, gently teasing himself before pushing in. He bit back his moan as he fingered himself. His eyes were closed as he imagined Zack over him, that heavy body, about what hid in those shorts and--
"Ahhh!" Chance gasped as his finger brushed his spot. At once, his pleasure spiked as he teased that spot again and again. "Z-Zack..." He felt himself cumming, splashes of seed wetting his fur. His breathing steadily calmed and he found himself staring up at his ceiling, calmer and smiling.
I think I like him... I wonder if he'd like me...