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I sat down, grinning from ear to ear. 'You remember that something I was going to tell you, last time we were here? Before I got all caught up in a moment about what you said to Felix? It's them, for sure. You see Shiva over there? She's Mum. She told me she'd get them to come to town. Coz she wanted them to meet me.'

'Oh my god!' Colton whispered, shifting forward on his seat to get his lap under the table. 'Okay, deep breaths, I got this.' He tried to inconspicuously and quickly stick a hand in his pants to readjust, making the hard-on less obvious. 'Okay. I'm cool. Let's get a couple of beers. Then you're going over there. It's you they wanted to meet, right?'

'Colton, we can't.'

'The fuck do you mean we can't? We are not wasting this!'

'I'm serious. You were right about Dad, he's trying. That's why he took us out for lunch, to be with us.'

'So we've had lunch. So I'll take him home quick-quick and hightail it back here. By which time you'll be best friends with those two.

'No. We are not shoving my dad off back home for this. Not when he's trying this hard. So either take it back to first gear or pull the fuck over and take the keys out.'

Colton took a deep breath. 'Alright, sorry, that wasn't right. So...we'll just have to introduce them to you old man.'

'Forget it. You know how hard I've walked this tightrope with him lately. And you wanna go introducing two porn stars we never met before? He can deal with being around the two of us but he's not ready to get surrounded in our friends yet. Let alone two brand new ones who make us both fill up our pants every time we watch their show.'

'Okay, I get it,' Colton said, looking like he was at least trying to. 'But Shiva asked them home for you. So what you gonna say to her, sorry you did this way cool thing but y'know, my Dad's a good old cotton-pickin' southpaw 'coon who thinks your smoking hot boys are going straight to Hell?'

'Okay. Maybe this is the part where you shut that great big muzzle of yours and I do the talking.'

'You got it. What you gonna say?'

'How the fuck should I know? Shut up and let me think.'

He gave me a moment before: 'Too late, they're coming!'

I looked around. They were still at the bar. 'You dick!' It gave me the best idea though: I needed him out of the way. 'Okay. Got it. You're going to talk to them. Dad could forgive that. You're talking to some friends you've not seen for a while. I'll sit here and do the father-son thing. You've gotta tell them what the deal is and that we'll be back once we've taken him home. Or maybe we meet them this evening. Think you can score a second date within five minutes?'

'Now you're talking,' Colton said. 'How do I look?'

'Like shit. Get up there. And get a beer sent over here for Dad. His tolerance is low at the moment, he'll need a nap in about half an hour if we get a couple down him.'

'He's not meant to be drinking.'

'He's going to order one when he gets back anyway and you know it. So just do it. Here he comes. Go, unless you want another career lecture or him asking how clean your last test was.'

(As Colton had promised, we'd both come back negative. I'd even shown Dad the report form the clinic had given me, just to set his mind at rest that I wasn't going to end up like Deke in every way.)

Shiva surely knew what the game was. The beer was waiting when he got back. Coors, his favourite.

'Well hey,' he said. 'So I got something right then.'

'I appreciate everything you're trying to do, Dad,' I said. 'I mean it.'

'Thanks,' he said, taking a drink. 'Apparently I need to lose weight. Comfrey says my heart's perfect but my blood pressure's high and apparently I'm a diabetes risk or something. I told her I quit smoking those Camels, like long before you were born, but even that's not enough for doctors now is it? So I...don't suppose you know anything about exercise, do you?'

'Couch to 5K,' I said. 'Look it up. There's an app for it.'

'Is every problem in life solved by apps and phones now? You kids might as well get your brains taken out and replaced with those fuckin' things.'

I shrugged it off. I'd heard variations on this a thousand times from him. 'Dad, can we talk about this guy who knew Deke? You thought about writing him back?'

My father looked like he was going to tell me I'd ruined the whole day, then he looked tired, then resolved. 'You know how I feel about...certain things. Certain people. And I've tried. I tried talking to that therapist. She wasn't a bad person. But just being in that room...I couldn't say it to her so we couldn't talk about it. Maybe I should have. But I can't talk to this guy of Deke's. Seeing photographs of Deke with a wolf? It doesn't make me feel good thinking about it.'

'You don't have to talk to him. Just be okay with me doing it. I'll break the ice, see what photographs he's got. Maybe I just get him to scan them and show you the ones with just Deke in them. For now.'

'You know what? Deke wasn't a saint. I might've cried plenty over him because I felt like he was better than me, but he wasn't always. You know why he hooked up with a wolf? To fuck with me. It was revenge for me siding with Mum and Dad. So he was right to be angry. But so what? He knew how I felt about wolves. He didn't even like them either. Until he liked that I didn't like it and saw a chance to send me a message about how pissed he was. He told me he was with a guy called Akio or something, in one of his post cards. The Jap name was enough, he didn't give a species or a description. I bet you it was this wolf. He told me I apparently just had to come to San Fran and meet this guy. I know it was him. He was setting me up, to feel sick when I got there.'

'How do you know it was like that? Maybe he loved this guy.'

'Because I know. Deke was that sort of asshole. It's like this guy coming out of the woodwork's another great big middle finger he set up for me to find one day. All morning since you sent me that message I've been thinking about it. It makes my skin crawl, Todd. I'm sorry, but it does.'

'But it's still okay if I act as a go between?'

'Yeah go on then, do it. I just want the pictures. Nothing else.'

'Last night you-'

'Wanted a missing year of his story. Yeah yeah. Maybe I shouldn't have. I was emotional. And drunk. Funny you didn't tell me maybe I should go easy on the beers.'

'Because of course you're so easy to say something like that to. And you'd totally have listened and put the bottle down.'

Dad grunted, then managed to smile. 'Who's your fox talking to?'

'Friends he hasn't seen for a while.'

'Otters.'

'Ah shit Dad, you got a problem with otters now too? What happened? Did one try to drown your fat ass?'

'I'm just fuckin' with you, Todd' he said. 'I really don't have a problem with that much, son. Whatever you might think. Who am I now's a long way from who I was at your age. So a few bits of old me still hang on. And one of them proved a bit of a big deal when it came to you. But I meant what I said about your mum making me want to be a better person. We're still together because she succeeded. When I was your age, I thought the whole word could just change because I said it should, and I knew what was right and wrong about everything. Then I actually started seeing the world. I learned to drive a truck and I got out there and saw it. And I met your mum. And that was when I started having to get to know people a little bit different. And there's something more important we need to talk about anyway. I heard about you and the swimming club.'

'You heard about that? I don't care about it anymore, Dad. I'm done with it.'

'We'll see about that,' he said. 'Because I did a little digging. Few questions here and there. I always knew that human coach of yours was an asshole. And sometimes these little hangups of mine, they turn out to be right. Just listen to what I found out for a minute and then tell me if you're finished with all this.'

I listened. I could hardly believe what it turned out he'd done for me.

'You told me apology's more than words, right?' he said. 'I like to think that's at least one box I've ticked for you now. And this guy Tattinger. What sort of apology do you feel like he owes you now?'

I stared into my drink. 'A pretty goddamn big one.'

'Good boy,' he said. 'So what are you going to do about it?'

I looked up. 'Let me think about it.'

My father nodded. Whatever expression was on my face, he clearly liked it.

'Yeah,' he said, after taking a long drink of his beer. 'Thirty years ago, I'd've told you to stick your crystal ball up your ass if you told me one day I'd be sitting at a table with my gay son and his fox boyfriend and the two otters he's bringing over here.'

Oh he had to be kidding. Even Colton wouldn't -

'Hey Mr A, you mind if these two have a drink with us? I've not seen them in a while. Don't worry, I'll pick up their tab. Guys, this is Todd and this is his dad.'

'Oran,' Dad said, trying to get up. 'Sorry, I'd get up and shake hands but I'm a bit of a crip at the moment.'

'Let me move,' I said. 'I'll sit next to Dad.' I got up before the otters could sit down. 'You nutsack!' I mouthed at Colton, who I could tell was totally prepared, and storing up the laughter he was going to unleash on me later. The otters were sitting on either side of Colton, and eyeing him like it was too bad he'd obviously told them it had to be hands off for now.

The two of them they barely looked any different from each other. Just different from the TV, where you could guess they were related but knew one was older than the other. Right here, they looked like twins, except that one had dyed his ears white-blonde and the other had blue and orange. Both had streaked their fur as well, a few lines visible outside of the t-shirts that were more like tight swimwear. Why on Earth had they done this?

For the scene where they finally fucked, I thought. They'd filmed it already, or they were going to do it live, and the production company wanted them to look like twins.

'So,' Dad said. 'You two are otters.'

'Yep,' white-ears said. 'I'm Dolphin and this is Trick.'

Dad eyed the pair of them as if they'd just sat at a poker table and he was trying to know their tells. 'Well that's...different I guess.'

Trick rolled his eyes. 'Bro, how many times you gonna do this? What's the rule? Real names only when we're meeting new people. I'm sorry. He can't get out of character. That idiot there's Kyle and I'm Theodore. Tad if you're lazy.'

'I'm a raccoon, course I'm lazy, right?' Dad said, putting on his serious face, and then going back to a smile. 'Character huh? So you two are actors? What you been in?'

So Tad was Trick and Kyle was Dolphin. I hadn't actually given any thought to which might be which when Shiva had told me their real names. I could only think of them in character too.

Dolphin grinned. 'Well Oran...sorry, should I call you Mr A? What does that stand for anyway? You ever watched cha-'

'We're in an add for bourbon whisky,' Trick cut him off effortlessly, no sign of potential embarrassment. 'We shot it last weekend. The different colours are meant to be different flavours.' He brushed his own ears, then reached behind Colton to stroke one of Dolphin's. And to run a claw down Colton's back, giving him the shivers.

'Man, what did I tell you about doing that?' Colton said, looking like me but without the floppy ears. 'It's like hearing a chalkboard scrape.' Except to me Colton was obviously lying. It had probably set him halfway to shooting his load already.

'An ad for good old Tennessee sippin' liquor,' Dad said, and nodded. 'Hope it's a good one. A proper sour-mash.'

'Whatever it's called, we got loads of it for free,' Trick said. 'How about I send you a bottle from us?'

'I'd like that,' Dad said. 'Whatever it's called. Guess a name don't matter. I'm sure it's at least as good as Bullet. Right?'

'Mum will soon confiscate that,' I said.

'Oh that old lady can try,' Dad said. 'So, you otters are doing advertisements. That's work I guess, until someone notices you for a starring role or something. That how it starts? Yeah, I've heard it's like that. So, your ads. The company make you call yourselves Trick and Dolphin. For advertising.'

'It's like a stage name,' Dolphin said. 'Or maybe more like a nickname. I can't even remember where it came from. Swimming, maybe. Wasn't it a club name, bro?'

Trick shrugged. 'I dunno. Didn't you think it up one night when you were drunk? You just started telling me to call you Dolphin.'

'I so did not.'

Dad just looked perplexed now. 'Otters,' he said. 'My Daddy always warned me they were a little bit nuts. Among other things. So you two can swim, huh? And you're the good one,' he looked at Dolphin, then Trick. 'And you're the one who jumps through hoops. That it?'

Trick mimed shooting a pistol and blowing the smoke off the end like a cowboy. 'He's got it, bro? Right? You should see me shoot for those hoops, Mr A.' To Dolphin: 'Dude, didn't we actually do a swimwear commercial once? The one where they made us wear one size larger for the TV coz, y'know, big reveal about what's downtown that might come on before the watershed?'

My father shook his head. 'What today's youth do for a living. Back in my day you were lucky if your makers stuck you on a tractor out in a field and you ever escaped from it.'

'I heard your a trucker, Mr A,' Dolphin said. 'That's cool. So raccoons do drive trucks. I thought that was just a rumour or something.'

'You'll have to excuse him,' Trick said. 'He needs a lesson in me being the one who does all the talking and he just sits there and nods and agrees.'

'Raccoons do a lot of things, boy.' My father stared at Dolphin with thousand yard eyes. 'Now you should see this one.' He pointed at me. 'He's at least as good in a pool as one of you. I might be a fat old trucker but I raised a boy who'll surprise you, no mistake. I watch him in a pool...shit, maybe I got off easy when he told me he...well, that he's with this fox right here. Maybe all along I should have been waiting for "I'm an otter in a raccoon's body." Sometimes I think he even makes himself look a bit like one. God knows what he thinks about instead of that fox sometimes.'

Oh for fuck's sake.

Trick and Dolphin both laughed with their heads back. Even that fox found it funny, and let the otters punch him playfully like he was the butt of the joke.

'_Daaaad._Floppy ears right here.'

'Ah shut up,' Dad said. 'Your ears are perfectly straight, unlike the rest of you. But seriously, you two, take this one swimming with you sometime. See who can hold their breath underwater for longer. Then you get to make fun of old raccoons who sit their pudgy asses behind a wheel all week to transport all that shit you're ordering off Amazon. What, you think stuff just magically appears? It don't.'

'Swimming with Todd?' Trick said. 'I'd sure like that. How about you, Dolphin?'

'I can beat the pair of you at any watersport you like,' Dolphin said.

How many feet were touching my legs right now? None of them felt like Colton's. Did any of them realise how lucky they were to get the right legs under this table? How were my ears still straight?

'Would now be the time to say I've got a pool?' Colton said.

Oh no. Not already.

I couldn't pretend the thought wasn't hot, or that I hadn't been thinking of it since the night I first knew I had a chance of meeting Trick and Dolphin. But I knew the truth Colton didn't yet: some fantasies were only supposed to play out on a TV. An actual pool party with those two would probably turn out nothing like what Colton imagined, because really they were just two furs like him and me, and the disappointment would gut him.

'Well there you are then,' Dad said. 'Seeing as this one got himself kicked out of his swimming club for a little old fight. Start a club of your own. Good idea.'

'Say what?' Trick said, looking at me with a combination of surprise and puzzlement. 'How you get in a fight while swimming?'

'It's not that,' I said. 'It's...it don't matter what it is. And that's not why I left the club. I didn't get kicked out. They just asked me not to come for a while and I just shrugged and said fine then. It was a fight and....why are we talking about this?' I looked at Dad. 'You had to bring this up now?'

'Because it wasn't right,' Dad said. 'You deserved to be in that club. So they didn't like that you're a certain way. You're still welcome in my home, aren't you? What excuse have they got? You know you oughta tell em. Oughta do something.'

'I told you already, just let me think it over.'

'Can we get the story here?' Dolphin said. 'Am I getting this right? They kicked you out of a swimming club because you're gay?'

I sighed. 'Thanks, Dad. Alright, look, they didn't kicked me out. They invited me back last week. There was just a misunderstanding, that's all. And...' And Jack Tattinger had told me that people were going to keep on asking questions. And all along I'd known that it was because he was going to make sure they asked them, for all the wrong reasons. And thanks to Dad's digging I also knew an old story about how before he'd lived in Phoenix he'd been asked to leave a club in Colorado after trying to ostracise a gay member of the club and his boyfriend.

I told the whole story. I had no idea why. Trick and Dolphin no longer looked like a pair of porn stars off camera, just two people listening intently. Dad listened too. Colton even seemed calm and attentive, despite being between the two otters.

'So I'm not going back,' I said. 'What's the point. I know where I'm not welcome and they've lost one of the people who won races for them. Forget them. I can go better places in life.'

'Know what I think?' Trick said. 'Let's get Mum over here and get us all another round of drinks. And you should go back to that club one last time, and me and Dolphin should come with you. Because I'm getting an idea. This guy's either going to make things up with you and apologise or he's not. I think I know a good test; a way to find out which it's going to be. You thinking what I'm thinking?'

I started. 'Look, guys, I don't want to confront Jack. If he calls me up and asks why I haven't come back, I'll just tell him to go to...oh. Oh, I get it. I think.'

Trick and Dolphin looked at each other and nodded.

'Get what?' Dad said. 'Ah what the hell, you boys work it out. You wanna talk to Jack about this, fine. You wanna pin him to a wall and the three of you give him a little lesson in how you treat other people how you wanna be treated, equally fine. Coz that's how this world is, son.' He looked at me. 'You let yourself get stepped on, people are gonna do it. You already stood up to me. You do it to your own old man, you can do it to anyone.'

This in front of two people he'd never met before? And the look in his eyes that told me he knew he'd never managed the same thing. Maybe the two beers on top of his medication wasn't a good idea after all.

'Excuse me boys, you get to my age and you don't last quite as long between pitstops.'

Dolphin looked like he was going to offer to help my father get up, until Trick shot him a serious look and shook his head twice. My father didn't seem to notice. Dolphin waited until he was out of sight.

'Does that guy realise...you know...'

Trick rolled his eyes. 'Bro, he's got no idea. And he's never gonna turn to Chan Seven.'

'No shit, when Mum said he was a southpaw she didn't say there were capital letters in it.'

'Dude, that's this guy's dad, and he's right here, and the guy's clearly makin' an effort, so go drown yourself if you can't shut your wet mouth.'

'Fuck you, hoop-jumper.'

'Not on TV you won't.' Trick leaned over the table slightly and whispered: 'You wanna know a secret? Promise not to tell? We've slept together before. We were real naughty too. Just don't tell our mom, will you?'

'He's a bullshitter,' Dolphin said, after I'd gone wide eyed and couldn't help but adjust my pants and shift on my seat. 'Telling the client what he wants to hear just like a good little whore.' He sat back, in a slightly seductive recline. 'Or maybe it's true. We just keep those viewers guessing. But who cares anyway? We love each other, we're cool about what we do. And it's not like we could make a kid with webbed feet and five paw-pads or anything. Oh, wait.'

'He uses that one every time,' Trick said. 'Here's a new one for you. Is Dolphin the thickest flatfoot ever raised in the Dixon household? Well, is an otter's butthole watertight?'

Colton put his hands to his mouth, sniggered, and then full on laughed into his arms, head on the table.

'Guys,' I said, my ears twitching. '_Family_restaurant.'

'Yeah,' Trick said. 'And what we've met of _your_family's cool. And Mom was right to ask us to come home and meet you, because we were just looking for some fun. Both of us. And you're a fun raccoon, right?'

Nobody had ever called me that before. Not even Colton. Who was sensing the subtext here and was now going from hysterical laughter to catatonic so fast that I wondered if he could go into blank mode without a night's sleep preceding it.

'So,' Dolphin said, sitting in an almost exact copy of Trick's intent pose, with twitching, wide-eyed Colton sandwiched in the middle. 'When does this club of yours meet?'

* * *

'Welcome back, Todd,' Jack said when I showed up that evening, with Trick and Dolphin right behind me. 'Glad to have you here. I hope there's no hard feelings.'

I smiled. 'I brought two friends along. We still got that first session free offer?'

'Sure,' Jack said, looking at the otters. 'Have they got previous experience?'

'I've got a feeling they're going to need a lane to themselves,' I said.

'Well then at least you picked a quiet night,' he said. 'We'll see what they can do.'

'Could I talk to you after training?' I said. 'Just a couple of things I've had on my mind.'

Now Jack looked uneasy, despite obviously trying not to. 'Sure, I can make time.'

Good, I thought. It will be the last time you ever make time for me, Jack. I guarantee it.

* * *

Trick and Dolphin did indeed end up in a lane of their own. Just as I predicted, Jack mostly delegated the other lanes to his junior coaches and spent the whole hour and a half trying to challenge the otters. Who did everything he set them and then some more. I couldn't hear what he was telling them at the end of the session, but it looked like sweet-talk for two newcomers. They were in the masters category, and well into what was clearly a professional level program, wherever they were training. And they hadn't turned pro?

I could tell from their body language that they were playing Jack in circles, laughing off each other's daft comments and then taking it back to seriousness, just to tease him along. When they parted ways, Jack looked like he was gearing up to welcome them to the club for good, take on two new protégés and think about medals.

Good. It was just what Trick and Dolphin had told me they could make him think.

* * *

I hung around in the sports bar just drinking coke until most other people had gone home. Jack had surely noticed I was waiting. When it came time for our talk, he didn't come over. He slipped out into the parking lot.

I followed.

'Todd,' he said. 'Oh, I'm sorry. You wanted to talk to me. Could we maybe do it after next session? I've really got to get home.'

'I'm not coming to the next session, Jack. Because I'm not coming here again. But I get it. All of it. So go ahead and run. You're a coward. You won't stand here and face me and we both know why.'

He turned, shutting the trunk of his car. 'Where's this attitude come from, Todd? Face you about what? I invited you back here. I thought your turning up meant you'd put the last time we talked behind us.'

'Oh you hoped I had. You hoped it was that simple.' I stood and faced him, hands loose by my sides and a breeze blowing across my back, the smell of chlorine in my nose, and I'd never felt calmer. And Jack Tattinger was bricking it. Because he knew it. 'Those two otters you were just sweet talking into become your personal elite, they're good. Right? First time in years, you've got your eye on a couple of people who might just stand a shot at taking you to glory. Right?'

'What's all this got to do with-'

'Would it matter who they were, Jack? As long as you were the man behind their success? Would anything else I could tell you about them change anything? Even slightly?'

Jack didn't speak. He stood there, looking at me, then slowly looking around him. He probably still didn't know what I'd done, but he knew there was something to suddenly not like about it. Not like a whole lot.

'No,' I said. ' I really don't think it would.'

He stepped forward, looking like anger was penting up now. 'What is this, Todd? Who are those two?'

'This is a finger up your ass, Jack. You see, I thought about what you said to me, about behaviour. And I realised you were right. I needed to think about how I behaved. And I realised I didn't stand up to you nearly as much as I should have. I didn't show you what an asshole I can _really _be.'

'Goodnight, Todd.'

'My dad spoke to all the other members of the board of the club. Including the chairwoman. Who said they never backed your decision to not allow me to train at all. You never even spoke to them about it. And I thought that was a little strange. Seeing as you knew all about these questions they were asking. When it came to what my intentions had always been.'

Now he turned and looked at me, knowing he couldn't escape just by getting into a car and driving off.

'You're a liar, Jack. And I know why you did it, and so does everyone else. That's why they're going to ask you to leave. When I tell them all I've changed my mind about not pushing for you to go in front of a disciplinary hearing. Because you always get away with this. It was just like this when you were back in Colorado.'

'You know nothing,' Jack said, his tone suddenly deep and foreboding.

I wasn't moving. 'Wrong, Jack. You're still standing there because you know I know it all. And I clung on to the tiniest bit of respect for you despite it. Until I tested it this evening. I've known you since I was seven years old. But did you ever care about me? Was anything I ever did in your club about me? It was all you, Jack. Your little needs. No glory of your own so you just wanted to ride on someone else's. And then I never got to be one of those otters. I never got a swimming scholarship, never made an Olympic qualifier. And then it turned out I had a lifestyle you don't approve of. And an incident you could use against me. And what did you do?'

'Todd, it really wasn't like that. I swear to you, it wasn't. I cared about you. I was in a difficult position. I was doing what I had to.'

'Well you're sure as shit in a difficult position now, aren't you?' I stared at him, knowing I was giving the snidest smile of my life. 'You know, maybe I get it. Thanks to you, I know what it feels like when one thing suddenly changes the way you feel about a person. So I'm doing what I have to too. I'm showing you why you don't just get to say sorry this time. You never even said it to me once anyway. So I'll give you behaviour, Jack: go fuck yourself. I'll see you at your hearing.' I turned and walked away, and then delivered the moment I'd been waiting for all day. 'Oh, and if you need any help getting it up while you're doing it, check out channel seven tonight. 11 o'clock. Right after the watershed. See if there's anybody on there you recognise.'

* * *

'That was killer, Aldrington,' Dolphin said. 'Your Dad was right.'

'About what.

'You should have been an otter. Seriously, you ever pretended you're one of us?'

'Bro, knock it off,' Trick said. 'We're the ones who oughta think about being raccoons right after watching that. That guy was an asshole. He didn't even ask us where we'd come from, why we'd never been in this club before if we were friends with you. All he wanted was times and times and times. And you know what? That dickwad there,' he looked at Dolphin, 'even snapped me speedo elastic in front of your coach. And he brushed his tail down my leg. And he made dick jokes all evening while we were between laps. Know how bothered your coach was? The guy was practically encouraging us.'

'Two faces,' Dolphin said, shaking his head. 'Least porn's an honest game. You can't fake being hot for someone soon as you go downstairs and see what's happening. Hey, you know, your fox did say he had a pool. How about it?'

'Bro, I told you, we've got to pack bags and get out of town tonight. Unless you wanna turn down that meeting about our script and bail on the Dictator Envy audition.'

'Whatever that film is you do not want to turn it down,' I said.

'Yeah yeah, okay,' Dolphin said. 'Trick and I made this deal about how career comes first. Apparently I party too much. But one thing I gotta know.'

'You just did me a pretty big favour,' I said. 'Just ask.'

'Which one of us do you like best?'

How was I supposed to answer that?

'Kyle, you really need a fucking killswitch,' Trick said. 'Besides, we both know it's me. So here's a better question. There anything you and Colton want to see us do while we're still on Seven? Long as it's not too gross or weird. And don't say him on me. That show only ever goes down if I'm the man.'

'Thanks,' I said. 'That's an offer I'm never going to get again. But...Colton's stuff is his stuff and mine's mine. Maybe it'd be better if we just let you guys guess. You can think about us while you're on camera if you want. Just no names if you go roleplay.'

'It's cool,' Trick said. 'Right bro?'

Dolphin did look a little disappointed, but just nodded.

'Between you and me though,' I looked down at my bare feet. 'You kind of did do one thing Colton might like to see you repeat.'

Dolphin thought for a moment. 'Nice! Simple but effective.'

'And where you put your feet on Trick,' I said. 'I liked that. Quite a lot.'

Dolphin licked his lips. 'Sweet, raccoon.' He moved between me and Trick in a slick motion and stood behind his brother, a finger to the pulse on his neck. 'Shall I make sure I hear Trickster's heartbeat next time? I bet he's got a _great_engine under that hood. Maybe we do a fitness test or something and it all starts with paws first. Look at this bro, this stripey-tail's already twitching. Are we good or are we good?'

'We're in a parking lot,' Trick said, putting a hand on Dolphin's butt and squeezing it. 'Seriously though. Glad we could help you out, Aldrington. Keep watching Chan Seven. And come to California if you ever want to. There's loads of spare room where we are. You and your fox ever want a real pool party, you know who to ask.' He looked at the approaching car. 'Here's Mom.'

'What about your car?' I said. Where was it anyway? They'd turned up in a brand new Shelby Mustang that barely had two weeks life on the road to show for itself. A modern day version of what Colton had stolen from Rocco on prom night.

'The Shelby? Ah, don't worry about that. It's on loan.'

Oh_God._ I knew I didn't need to ask my next question, but part of me still clung to hope. 'On loan to who?'

Trick winked. 'If he forgets to pick you up, put him over the hood and spank him and tell him I sent you.'

* * *

Colton didn't forget. Quite the reverse. The Shelby announced itself from at least a block away with him revving it up. When he pulled into the car park I half expected to see smoke coming from around its tyres and hood, but at least Colton was driving it sensibly.

Almost.

'I asked permission this time,' he said, turning down the stereo that was playing some low-tuned metal with a deep voice I didn't recognise. 'Come on, get in.'

I was staring at the red car. Because honestly, it was beautiful. It had the shine that said the otters had probably driven it straight from a showroom all the way to Phoenix, although I knew better. It smelt of hot sand and leather and mesquite-chip.

Colton got out, leaving the engine rumbling and purring quietly. 'Yeah, I know. Mum and Dad persuaded me not to buy myself something like this because they thought I'd end up dead. So did I. So I listened. But I want to be alive. And I want you alive too. So I'll drive like I'm on my test. Promise. That's all I've been doing all day in this thing.'

'You're a shit liar, Vincent.'

'Yeah, I know.' He leaned on the open driver's door. 'So how did it go?'

'So well that I'm starting to think you're a bad influence.'

Colton nodded. 'You think he'll actually watch Chan Seven? Think his curiosity will get the better of him?'

'Doubt it. But we can always hope. And it's too bad. I don't get to spank you over the hood of this thing now.'

'Huh?'

'Oh, never mind.' I got into the car. So did Colton. 'Where are we going?'

Colton grinned. 'Buckle up.' I did, and he pulled out of the carpark so fast I was amazed he missed the gate posts, but when I remembered to breathe again I remembered how fast I knew his reflexes were, and it sunk in how smoothly he'd done it. He shifted gears like the car was an extension of himself. We were down the sliproad to the highway within a minute, and up to a steady hundred and weaving in and out of cars until we had the road to ourselves. The edge of the sun was just below the mountains, lighting up the whole sky crimson.

'Ever wanted to see the Grand Canyon?' Colton said. 'Good. Me too.'

'The Grand... that's an entire fucking day's drive away!' But I was already looking behind me, knowing what I'd see: bags packed and prepared.

'Thought we both deserved a weekend break,' Colton said.'Let's make it an entire night's drive.'

'The otters don't know about this, do they?' I said. 'When you asked permission, you didn't happen to say how long you wanted it for, did you?'

Colton shrugged. 'Course not. I just said I'd bring it back to L.A for them. So, fancy spending the rest of summer on the road?' He slowed the car down to the speed limit, lit a Marlboro and wound the windows down. 'Because if not, I'm just going to have to kidnap you.'

'But...Colton, slow down. And I don't mean the car. You've got appointments to keep.'

'Videophone, Todd-coon. Besides, who do you think suggested this?'

'Your therapist did not suggest this.'

'Oh, you don't believe me? Yet again?' He couldn't hold his serious face for more than three seconds this time. 'Seriously. You can ask her when we conference-call on Wednesday night. I already booked it. And yes I packed my meds. And yes your family know where you're going. Your Dad told me to treat you right. So I'm treating you. You're paying for nothing on this trip. All I'd ask is that we, you know, maybe drop our hands-off policy and scratch itch now and again.'

I sat back, adjusted the seat, thought for a moment, and knew this was good. Why had I shown any resistance to the idea in the first place.

'And if you like,' Colton said. 'We could swing by....oh hey, hey! Whatcha doing, raccoon? I thought you were...uuuugh. _Damn,_Todd-coon. Can I pull over?'

'No,' I said. 'Drive.'

His zipper undone, my hand in his pants, Colton switched the car to cruise control and put his head back. 'You got an itch you need to scratch? Good. I'm scratching it.'

'Todd....goddamn it there's a fucking truck coming the other way!'

'So keep the wheel straight and get ready, fox.'

He was still holding it as he passed the truck, and I let up before he could come, tucking his dick back in his pants and zipping him back up. 'See,' I said, 'you're not the only one who can do this crazy shit at the click of a finger. You want a road-trip, you got it. But I'm telling you, you don't know who you're taking it with yet. I've been kicking serious butt lately. You don't get to be an exception to how awesome I'm starting to think I am.'

'Oh yeah,' Colton said, wiping sweat from between his ears. 'I totally do know. Why do you think I wanted to do it?'

'And what is this music?' I said.

'You've never heard Type O Negative before?' Colton said. 'I'm actually surprised.' He flicked through the tracks. 'You'll like this one. It's called Todd's Ship Gods.'

I listened to it for the next five minutes. It gave early evening driving a calm quality despite its pace.

'This album's called Life Is Killing Me,' Colton said. 'There's a song on it about a guy who tries to become a woman and they fuck up his surgery. Wanna hear that one?'

'You know how to set a romantic mood. You really do.'

'Yep.'

'What were you saying before?'

'That maybe we could swing by San Fran and visit Akio.'

'Deke's boyfriend?' I said, a strange feeling coming over me. A moment later, I realised what it was. Colton hadn't been there when my father had said that name. I dug my phone out and went to the website. Akio hadn't waited for an answer. He'd made a website post of his own and put the link there. I didn't read anything, because my eyes were already glued to a picture of him and Deke, and the one below it, of Deke playing a guitar in the centre of a stage. I'd never heard him, and would never hear him in all likelihood, but Deke just looked like he could play. Even though I'd never learned an instrument, I just knew. And whether or not he'd made music I'd have liked, Deke looked like he was enjoying his life.

'Grand Canyon to San Fran....' I shook my head. 'Let's do it. And Trick and Dolphin are going to kill you.'

'Nah. Maybe just punish me. Fancy watching?'

An uneasy thought occurred to me, and then a moment later I was watching Colton drive and smoke his cigarette, and I wondered why it had made me uneasy. 'You already bought the car from them, didn't you? They let you drive it and you liked it so much you made an offer they couldn't refuse.'

Colton laughed. 'Nah. I wouldn't buy this.'

'The way you're looking right now? Yeah. Sure you wouldn't.'

'Uh-uh,' Colton said. 'Know why?'

I shook.

'It's nice and all. But it just doesn't have....something. Something I can't place.'

'What are you on about?'

'Take a look on the back seat. There's something I want you to read for me. Next to your bag.'

I found it, and was pleasantly surprised. It was an application for New York. The very same course I was already accepted on.

'Engineering,' I said. 'You want us to be classmates?'

'Your Dad got it right,' Colton said. 'He gave good advice, but he's no salesman. If he'd really known how to sell it to me, he'd've seen how all the lights in my head lit up the moment he made that comment about how he wanted to design trucks instead of drive them. Maybe you don't know who you're on this trip with. I never told you my thing's cars, did I? Why do you think I stole that Shelby of Cassano's on prom night? Even stealing from him was worth it, just for a few minutes in that fucker. That had what this is missing. Except it was still missing something.'

'Missing_what?'_ I said, leafing through Colton's application, written by hand in a perfect, almost calligraphic handwriting I'd never noticed he had.

'I didn't design anything about it. And I'm not talking modifying bodykit and all that shit that any dumb spanner-monkey could do. I mean real design. Like what I might learn one day if I start in New York. With you. Because you are going, right?'

I sighed, folding his application back up, knowing I didn't need to read it. 'You great dumb bag of fur,' I said, rubbing him between the ears. 'Course I am. What else was I ever going to do?'

'See?' Colton said. 'Your Dad was almost smart. He never realised the best way to talk you back into your life was to get me to do the same thing you're doing.'

'Yeah. Sure he didn't. You said it yourself. He lit your lights on. He didn't have to sell it to you after that. He knew what he was doing.' A memory came to me, as if on cue, and I knew I was surely right. 'Know how I know?'

'Go on then, Oracle.'

'When I filled out my application, Dad told me he'd never want to be an engineer. Too much sitting behind a desk, getting pudgy like raccoons are meant to. I tell you, Colton, he calls himself a dumb old Southpaw but it's because he's smart enough to hide how smart he can be.'

Colton smiled and said nothing smart this time.

Somewhere along the highway, just as the stars were coming out, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, It was morning at a west-Arizona roadside just miles from the amazing view we'd come to see. Colton was bringing me coffee.

I knew something amazing was beginning.

Author's Afterword

Thank you for reading this story. I never thought it would get to almost double the length of Todd's Senior Prom, but it did, and most likely because I thoroughly enjoyed writing it. I'm toasting it with a brand new bottle of whisky as I write this, both glad and sad that it's at an end. I think I might need a break from Todd and Colton. I do need to get my head back in my mainstream writing for a while. But at the same time, I almost can't wait to see what my brain tells me to do with these two next.

Trying to get inside the head of someone like Todd's father was the biggest writing challenge I've set myself for quite a while. I'm not sure if I got it completely right, or quite what I've learned from it until I've had a chance to think on it some more. I guess at a time when people with views I consider either misguided or downright odious seem to running half the world, there's some ray of hope to be found in the idea that sometimes a person who's hurt other people, and himself more than anyone else, can admit certain things about the way they see the world could do with re-thinking. It does happen. I refuse to believe it doesn't, even if we don't hear much about it because the internet is a box of screaming demons half the time.

When I want to scream, I do it on paper and I pick people like Todd and Colton to help me do it. And sometimes I even mellow out a little.

The story about Deke was one I hadn't planned for and somehow came into my head when I was trying to work Oran's backstory out as I wrote. I originally had an idea he might be a little closeted himself, but that seemed too easy. A brother story just seemed to have a little more substance to it. The idea that Deke looked like Todd was a slight copy of something I did in one of my mainstream books, with one character invoking serious nostalgia (and a little tearful emotion) by looking like a relative who had a tragic death. Writers often find these crutches and reach for them. Let's just hope I don't use that one too much. All too often, my most intriguing characters are the ones who don't appear live in a scene, or even in a flashback, but still provide the lessons by which many of the others live. Deke is one of these fables. And I'll admit it, I absolutely love the Grateful Dead and often wish I'd lived in San Francisco in the 70's.

I ended this story on a flight of nostalgia. I've been to the Grand Canyon twice myself. When America has a vaguely sane president, I might even go back one day. I set this story in Arizona because that's where my grandparents lived. I've been to Phoenix too. I have a great uncle out there who's still with us. I think. And no, I wouldn't tell him about this story. If only because I think perhaps he's a little like Oran without the 'southpaw' roots...and subconsciously maybe I tapped my memories of him a little. I remember he once asked me if I smoked or chewed, and at the time I didn't want to admit I secretly smoked (Marlboros, just like Colton), so I just said 'Neither but I like drinking' and it met with his approval. The copious amounts of liquor consumed in all my stories are a bit of a mirror. But unlike Colton, I fucking hate tequila. A Long Island is about the only way I know of making that hell-juice bearable!

I wrote the last 2000 words of this story to the same CD Colton is playing in the car. I've loved that band since I was introduced to them as a 21 year old student, when I was Deke's age (but a _lot_more careful) and had thoughts about being in a band myself. I still play the guitar. I've sometimes imagined what it would be like to have a boyfriend from Japan who came to experience my kind of culture and somehow found me on his adventure. Maybe he'd also be a furry, and a wolf. (Shit, the things I'll admit to having had inside my head sometimes...)

I'm not an engineer, although at university I lived with two rather gifted ones who both got firsts. I think one of them actually did move to California, although we lost touch a long time ago.

I once did belong to a swimming club myself, and I'm a pretty good runner.

It's strange, all the little things I put into a story I'm not taking too seriously, but when I add it all up at the end I feel like even a furry romance with a couple of fights and some fire in it ends up mirroring real life in some quite unexpected ways.

Good fortune to you all. -A.R.