FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

We live in a world where Anthros and humans exist with animals. Science has even finally confirmed it and ever since the dawn of time, that is what we have been called. But as language evolved, a new name for us anthros was born and so our new social name became furs. However, in the science and medical fields, we are still classified as Anthro. But now society also allows us to call ourselves furs.

For instance, from an article I was reading during my lunch break that gave me a rather big warming smile, "Anthro family welcomes their very first baby fur into the world after many years of trying..."

Something I found really weird while I was growing up is that humans can actually own feral animals as pets... Yet apparently a lot of us furs prefer not to have pets in today's society. That doesn't mean there aren't furs out there who don't own a pet, it's just a weird thing to see as I've come to find.

Oh... yes, that's right. We also live in the world where there is indeed science... but also religions and magic, and even spirituality. I'm not talking about magic, being witches and wizards flying around on broomsticks casting fireballs in plain daylight... No! That's what you see in the movies.

My understanding of what I consider to be magic is the ability to sense and interact with the cosmic energies that govern and flow through all things, living or dead, solid or liquid... To sense the energy that is projected off people, the aura of their emotions that they are showing me. It's the vibrations and energy they give off... Even if they aren't yelling, I can still somehow sense it.

I learnt at an early age, that the quickest and easiest way for me to read someone was to be holding onto them... and best way to feel the surge of energy projected off them from my touch. Sometimes it's warm and other times its cold... sometimes hot, with a tingling sensation mixed in. It can vary on how the person is feeling at the time. And sometimes just talking with the person is enough for me.

My emotions and even my mood can be affected by how someone is feeling if I pick up on it... or just from what they put off. A dark sensation varies and those feelings are very hard to explain... even for me. I still need to experience it to get an understanding. Language, after all, can only take you so far.

Then there are those who do understand the elemental forces, work in the dark arts, and those who have spiritual gifts. Those who call upon their ancestor's, speak with the dead, or have animal spirits guides come to them, and guide them on their life's journey... Then there are those who understand nature better than others, and who can listen to it and hear the voice of the earthen mother itself.

But my favourite thing... are those who are capable of tracking the moon blindfolded and deaf, those who can sense its ambient light shining down from the night's sky just with their minds alone.

But whoever said it just had to be during the night?

Ever since I was much younger, I was able to do such a thing... And as every full moon approached, I could feel myself getting a little stronger mentally each day. My gifts always seemed to get stronger and I was able to stay awake a lot longer than other days. I felt much more energized and refreshed after the night of the full moon... and I never really could work out why. Somehow I was different.

Philosophy of the old world is one of my hobbies. And from my years of reading occult, history and mythology books, I've learnt many new things... particularly a new way of thinking about the world and people. I even adapted this new thinking to my gifts and it made my life easier... It was through my experiences as a puppy that led me to this and to reading about the various stories and legends.

I must have spent a few years of my spare time keeping my head buried in books, and trying to learn more about myself, and finally what was going on with me. But then one thing that stood out for me amongst everything, was reading about the Native Indian Cultures and the impact that it had on us.

Kinder funny but one of the stories I was reading from history, which also comes from their culture is that ever since the dawn of time, we furs... or Anthros as a much better term seemed to be like these Guardians of the earth, and blessed with a form of spiritual magic or as they called it... spiritual gifts.

It was from reading about this, that I found myself to be more like a shamanistic type of person with how my gifts worked... although it could be because we are animal with human-like characteristics.

Another thing I did learn about though... is not every fur has gifts either.

But think not any less of me... I'm just a spiritually gifted fur that lives in our world, living an ordinary day life, works an everyday job and has such a loving family who raised me and loves me very much.

Don't get me wrong... There are those who hate Anthros to the core and will deal them considerable harm for just being what they say is "Non-Human", "Not-Them", "An Abomination" and yet we have been here since the dawn of time, walking side by side with humans throughout the ages.

A certain part of History, which is no bedtime story... Humans use to hunt us, and not just for our fur either, but also for sport along with other feral animals according to history. And that is just the start of what those books described happen to us all those many years ago. What's worse and that scared me the most, history also indicated that had we not pulled together as humans called it "a race", we would have been wiped out by them long ago... and finally would have become extinct.

But one story that appears to be slowly disappearing from history is how, and what happened during that time. We refer to it as the Time of Tevinos, or in spoken word they call it "The time of paternal."

We furs work with you, next to you. We teach your children, work in your hospitals and finally treat your children... or even you. We grow crops, and plough farms like normal people do. We even fight wars with you. Furs are everywhere and yet some religions or even people in general, seem to think we deserve to die for being "Not-Human, A Plague, Waste of Life, and a Sin." The list just goes on.

These are what society calls "Anthro Hate Groups" or "AHGs", and they are around in today's world.

Society has evolved a lot since those dark times of history so I guess I could say we live just like every other human now, and society has somewhat clamped down on those groups. But like I said, they do exist. They rise and fall all the time... It's just about how long they last for, how big they get, and how much damage they can inflict before they are finally brought down by law enforcement.

Science has no real answer for how we exist and yet we do. They even wanted to find a way to make Anthros become human if we wanted to change, or vice a versa. Well, that suggestion almost started a world war... twice thanks to those hate groups, and as far as I'm aware that science is now banned.

Why change what already exists? We furs are the yin to your yang. We are the light to your dark. We are part of this world as much as you humans are. We are servants of the earth, and we eat the food from the land as much as you do. That world I'm speaking of is called Earth, and that is where we are now. And for you to understand me better, I need to tell you my story...

Let's begin at today's date... Friday, September 18th, 10.00am in the Morning...

So here I am sitting in the passenger seat of my half-brothers Ute. Great start to a story huh? No, not really but I am listening to the most god-awful music with him behind the wheel. We're driving down the highway on our merry way to a retreat he's been dying to take me too for "A brotherly holiday."

And yes that is quoted... But how did I get here you ask? Well, let's go further back in time to around about umm... oh, I don't know, two weeks ago I guess...

The Date would have been Friday the 4th. The time would be around 3.15pm in the afternoon when I just happened to get a phone call at my desk in the office I work in. And like all calls I received at my desk, I picked the phone up and put it right up to my ear, then finally said, "Hello, Max speaking."

Oh Hi! Let me finally introduce myself. I'm Max... just your average gay Folf fur that happens to work in an office, in a building, and in a wonderful city. Very original I know. And I know I sound boring but I promise you that I'm not. I just don't like telling people where I work because of reasons. I also love my job and my life, oh and my security clearance. Crap! I shouldn't have said that.

"Hey little brother, it's Luke. Not busy are you?" I was honestly actually quite surprised to be getting a phone call from him this late in the afternoon. Then again... it is Friday after all, so why not call.

"Umm... No. Just finishing up some paperwork, what's up?" I asked while I continued to read on.

Paperwork..? Don't get me wrong, I dread it like most people but still, it has to be done regardless of how I feel about it. How else do I get paid without doing paperwork? Now... Who is Luke? Well, he is my half-brother. And only until roughly two years ago, we got recently reacquainted.

Now let's see... For over the past five, no six months he's been complaining that I work too much and never get away from my home, let alone the office or even visit him enough... It's weird but I actually had to count how many months it has been with my fingers to remember, by the way so don't laugh.

Now you're probably wondering how I can't get away from the office enough... and you know, that is such good question actually... because Monday to Friday, 8.30am-4pm is a pretty easy going working week for me, so his reasoning is way beyond me and I have heaps of vacation time saved up.

"Well if you're not doing anything tonight I'd like to invite you to join me and the family for dinner at our place tonight. Kids haven't seen you in a while and the wife has been badgering me to ask you to hurry up and visit them again. I also have a surprise that I would like to discuss with you as well."

Oh, a surprise he says huh? Well, that's a good way to make me perk up in interest and put what's in my hands down. Hey, it's been a long day after all and who doesn't love a surprise? Anyways, I agree to the invitation with my happy tail wagging voice, and also said, "Sure, I'll be there around 6 pm."

"Great, I'll see you then," he said back to me before eventually hanging up on his end.

"So, hot date tonight Maxy?" Sigh... I had just put the phone down when I heard that feminine voice yelling that out to me from across the room, and I also know that person all too well.

"No... That was Luke inviting me to come over to his place after work and have dinner with his family tonight Zoe." I then looked up, and over to her with a teeth showing smirk, "Not jealous are you?"

Zoe is my boss and my closest best friend. A "Sort of ordinary," mostly white Alaskan malamute with a little bit of black mixed into her coat. Who, surprisingly enough also wears glasses... Apparently the ones she wears now make her look more serious when pressing them into her face to adjust them.

Why is she Sort of ordinary..? Well, one night she let it slip about how she gets really fluffy when she is either up to mischief or as she puts it, "Comes into heat." This was like after... I think, nine shots of whatever the hell she was drinking that night at my house, so no more B.Y.O for her. Oh... One other thing I should probably mention... she loves to be nosey and loves to make my business also hers.

"No, of course, I'm not. I mean umm..." Her face suddenly turned bright red at first then all of her fur bristled out something shocking. And before I knew it, she was looking down to the floor in a state of total embarrassment of her composure. I guess my words caught her somewhat off guard... But now I got really curious to what she was up too, so of course, I had to ask what was up.

"You mean what then, hmm?" And yes... unfortunately, my pure curiosity got the better of me.

She sighed at first, then looked back up to me. "Well don't laugh at me, but if you must know... I was really hoping that you could help me out with Colin tonight. Like, suss him out for me, see if he might be gay... that sort of thing."

You know being her only closest gay friend is pretty cool and I've met a lot of new people because of her. But it seems I have apparently developed this perk of people telling me things about themselves every now then... must be because I'm a Folf. Personally, I think she doesn't want to fall for someone without knowing all the facts about them again. No hidden surprises, that sort of thing... It happens.

So, after putting my hand to my chin, I took a moment to think. "Hmm... As in the German Sheppard from human resources, that Colin?" I asked while running my thumb around under my muzzle.

"Yelp... Yes! Ok, that Colin... Please Max, will you help me tonight?" And yes, that yelp was loud.

I relented in my composure and turned my head just enough to look at her while taking my hands off the end of my snout. "You never found out who sent you the flowers last week, did you? If I do recall correctly, they magically appeared on your desk Wednesday." I had built up a smirk along the way.

"Please Maxy?" She all but pleaded with me this time, and her voice was also a little louder.

I relented in my composure and turned my head just enough to look at her while taking my hands off the end of my snout. "You never found out who sent you those flowers last week, did you? If I recall correctly, they magically appeared on your desk Wednesday." I had built up a smirk along the way.

She just stared at me with this puzzled look for a minute, then the shocked oh shit look set in. Then I heard her gasp and go a little red under the fur and in her ears. "Wait... You're not telling me... he?"

"No Zoe" I interrupted with my mischievous grin, "I'm not telling you." There, now she finally knows who sent them to her after all this time. So I should be now saying problem solved...or was it?

There's a quick pause. But I watched the way her face changed suddenly and then became this super pissed off look. "You Asshole!" she shouted while standing up from her chair and pressing her hands firmly into the table. "When were you going to tell me? And wipe that stupid grin off your face!"

I swear if that table was made of glass, it probably would have cracked right there from all the extra weight she applied to it. Just remember that some furs can be a lot stronger then they look, so it's a good thing that it is solid wood. Although she told me to wipe the grin off my face, I didn't. I actually did the opposite in fact. I wore it proudly and then I asked if she really, really wanted to know.

Her response, "I MUST!!!" And she shouted at me again from her side of the room... "Now spill."

"You remember when you were acting weird on Monday? The one where I asked you about your fur and if you were feeling okay? Then you just disappeared for the rest of the day without a word."

A sudden darkening silence fell between us after I spoke... and I watched her slowly begin to sit back down in her chair from the realisation of what I said. "Oh shit, you're talking about that day. The day when I forgot to take my suppressant medication..." Her ears had fallen flat way before she finished.

I heard her sigh and I felt absolutely terrible from no longer seeing her smiling... let alone sensing her in such a cold, and saddened state."It's ok Zoe," I said in a warm tone. "Colin was the one who called me and said something after you dropped off that red file to him that morning. It's kinder the whole reason why I mentioned something to you straight away when you got back to the office."

"You know Max..." she started to say as a smile began to appear on her face. "You have always been a real friend to me, almost like a brother. So all I can say is thank you." I took the sentiment to heart and gave her a warming smile in return before I went back to packing my paperwork away.

My smile, however, only lasted until a little smirk took its place from the thought I had. "I guess since I'm a real friend... I should probably mention that he also said you smelt delicious that day as well."

"Oh is that right hmm?" Oh yes, that is right... and that sudden angry glare she gave me was a special kinder whoops on my part. But hey, I was just being honest. Like... that's what's friends do right?

I was packing up for over ten minutes. And although I was just finishing up and placing the last bit of rubbish into the bin, I thought I would ask, "So I will see you Monday then? You know providing that you're walking properly that is." Yes, I'm a big tease and I have no one else to blame but myself.

Her immediate response, "Oh, fuck you, Max... Fuck. And. You..!"

"Only, if you were male Zoe." I was basically laughing towards the end. She is so much fun, and there is nothing better than getting a pen thrown at me as I packed away my laptop. I honestly think I hit a nerve. And that tone was a good indication of how pissed she was. At least she is back to her normal bubbly self. What's even better... the second my bag was closed, I was pushing back from my desk.

Oh yeah, if she was a he... I can guarantee that they would need to separate us. Simply put, Zoe and I are very close, closer than most. We work together and we are best friends with so much history.

In the beginning... I had absolutely no trust in her or anyone else for that matter because of my dark past. But as I got to know her... things changed and we got to the point where she can be completely open and honest with me "If" she needs to, with no judgement... which is something I kinder admire about her, and boy does she use that language a lot! But now given the chance, I stood up out of my chair, had a quick stretch and then straightened up my suit because boy, it's been a long day. What I was not excepting was to suddenly hear "So does Luke know about you being gay yet?"

That question was so sudden, and out of the blue, I froze for a minute. My whole body felt like it had gone cold. Then I heard her say something else. I think it was my name, but whatever it was snapped me out of my cold state. "Hello. Max? Does he know yet?" Damn, she's pushy, and I was still rubbing my eyes when she called again... But I had to tell her something or she would never stop asking.

Like I said she's nosey. So I told her where I was at on that. "No, he doesn't. Well not yet anyway, but I will say something to him very soon okay." The look Zoe gave me afterwards told me one thing. She was not at all convinced... but oh well, it is my choice who I tell period.

It's true though, I've been meaning to tell my half-brother that I'm gay. Even though I'm totally open about my sexuality if anyone asks. It's just never really come up in any of the times I've seen him, let alone talked to him. Actually, you know what? I just came up with a brilliant idea. I'll tell him tonight after dinner. Like honestly... what possible harm could it actually do to finally say something?

Work was over for me so I checked the time on my watch to find that it was 4 pm while I was picking up my laptop bag from the table. "Well then, I'm off. I shall see you Monday."

"Ok then. I shall see you, Monday Maxy." Zoe was busy when I slowly walked past and headed to the elevator, so I left her to it. Getting there was quick... and I just needed to press the down button and quietly wait for the ding. It only took a minute and before I knew it, the ding actually came, and then the doors began to open up. "Not going to wish me luck tonight Mister..?" Sigh... her timing.

"Good Luck, Zoe" was all I said back to her in a rather warmly tone before I finally stepped inside.

Zoe was still looking at me with a slight smile after I turned around... but another opportunity for me to be evil presented itself, so as I pressed the button for the ground floor, I said, "But don't wear him out in one night Zoe." She was about to say something, but I was quicker to shout out, "You have the whole weekend remember!" Oh yes, I was also tilting my head to the side as the doors closed.

After reaching the ground floor, I stepped out of the elevator and made my way past the big security office. I even gave the guards a wave as I went past and headed off towards the exit of the building.

I remember the first few months I was working here... the questions. "Who are you? ID Please. What business do you have here... etc, etc." But now that I've been here for a long time, everything runs so smoothly for me. Even after tapping my security card at the door, I can simply leave the building.

While I was putting my card back into my shirt pocket, a sudden *Gling* sound came from my phone and it annoyed me... especially with it being a Friday... because now I needed to fish my phone out of the same pocket and I had to take a look. So I did that while I was walking through the final door.

My eyes immediately went wide when I found the notice on screen, "4.06PM: 1 Message from, Zoe."

Although the whole I'm so fired thought went through my mind, I decided to walk off to the side and find myself a nice spot to stand -- you know, to also clear the way so other people can enter and exit.

PawPrintOS being the amazing software that it is unlocked my phone just by running my thumb over the screen. And then I was just left staring down at my phone after I pressed on the messages option from the main menu... Zoe's was the first name on the list and I had to blink a few times as I selected her message. My heart even skipped a beat the moment I saw it finally open up completely...

It read in bold text... "Grrr... Just you wait Max! Come Monday you are so going to get it. Two people can play at this stupid game Remember!?"

My tail was already wagging as I looked up and started laughing from reading her message. Only too then go silent from noticing all of these other people I work with looking at me strangely. They were all probably wondering what the hell I was laughing at. But oh well... who cares about them.

With the playful mood I was in just from stirring her up, it presented me another opportunity to stir her up even more. I know I shouldn't, but what she doesn't seem to realise is the grave mistake she left in her message, and boy will I cop more shit for this. But hey, it's all in the name of fun right?

Well, guess what Zoe. Even though I seem to play it better I also remember that two people can play at this game. It was game on. And so... with a mischievous look on my face, and that tail of mine still wagging but a little out of control, I pressed on that reply option and then began to type away.

"Technically... You are going to get it tonight and for the rest of the weekend FYI. Talk Monday, Bye."

I simply pressed send then continued walking off to the parking lot while putting my phone back into my shirt pocket. The walk wasn't a very long one... and before I knew it, I was standing at the driver's side door of my car with keys in hand, and all I needed to do was press on the unlock button. In mere seconds of hearing the quick *Beep, beep* sound, I was opening the door while being somewhat in a hurry and then placing my bag down onto the passenger's seat as I finally jumped into my car.

That whole time I had been waiting for something... But then I heard it. A noise came from my phone as I closed the car door, and it was another Gling. It was exactly what I was waiting for, and I was in a sense... a little ecstatic to see her response as I pulled my phone back out and unlocked it again.

Her response was in bold letters and I burst into laughter after I read it. "You Fucking Asshole...!"

Well, that will teach her. And hey, you never know... Colin might do that to her as well. Just saying...

Oh but the thought of how red should have been made it so much sweeter. I could only imagine how much she would have fluffed out, probably bad enough to be called Samoyed... and from what I have heard they can be extremely fluffy. Like I said, I play this game better and I bet the cleaners are going to be beyond pissed today. Hmm, "Zoe, The Walking Feather Duster" actually has a nice ring to it.

I was in a great mood after I put the key into the ignition and started the engine. Today was fun with Zoe. And once my music began to play, I put my car into drive and then began to head off home.

Ok, So you might be wondering if I'm currently taken by anyone or if there is that special someone in my life waiting for me at home. Well, The short answer to that would be no, unfortunately. Since my last breakup and ever since then, I've been single. Why you ask? Hmm, that is a very long story.

I have been on a few dates since then, but never really felt the need to commit to anything after the first date. Ever since I was a young puppy, I've had my gifts of knowing certain things. For instance, I was able to sense people's emotions, then if they were the right one for me... that sort of thing, and even more. It gets complicated and the list is long and I have changed quite a lot since I was young.

Not that I'm really bothered by being single anymore. Might be a little lonely at times, but I manage.

Personally, I don't like the whole one night stand thingy some humans and furs expect... never have.

First, we start with the Coffee or dinner date thing and see what happens after. But never sex on the first date. Some have tried and well, there wasn't a second date after that. I might sound picky, but I just have morals, unlike some people I know... and that includes furs, so respect those boundaries.

Wouldn't be the first time I've walked out on a date because of them trying something with me.

But hey look at the bright side, I'm fun. Well, my mischievousness teasing fox-side nature is, and Sex with the right person, especially after such a long time single will be amazing... That is providing they are gentle with me. And I'm not exactly into the really rough stuff that some people are.

After turning into my street "Woodman Avenue..." then passing a few houses along the way, I finally pulled up onto my driveway then put my car into park. As I switched off the engine, I also decided to take a look at the time and found that it was 4.32pm... Surprisingly enough, I actually have time for a quick shower before going to this dinner get together thingy that my half-brother invited me to.

Not that I'm totally against going, don't get me wrong. It's just... I had already planned on eating the casserole I left to cook while I was working today. Oh and the joys of owning a slow cooker, courtesy of Zoe being nosy and for introducing me to one. Sigh... I guess that meal is now frozen leftovers.

The afternoon breeze was so nice after I stepped out onto my driveway with my bag and keys. It was so good in fact, that I waited for a few moments and took in some nice deep breathes of the fresh air before finally closing the car door and locking my car behind me. I just love central locking... A simple press of the button on the remote, Hear some sounds and voila, your car is locked.

Like most homes in the neighbourhood, it only took me seconds and I was standing at the front door to my home, wiping my feet and putting the key into the deadbolt lock. Okay, and yes you wipe your feet on the mat before entering my home. If not... well, you stay outside. Simple enough isn't it?

A turn of the key is all it took... and "Click", the magical sound of the door unlocking, and then for me to pull down on the handle of the solid wooden door. Now, add the moment of when you enter your own home and have the thoughts in mind that work is over. Well, I'm having that very moment right now... especially knowing that there's no more paperwork to do... it's like being in heaven.

As I stepped inside and took the key out of the door, I got a very good look at my neat and tidy home on the way in. But then the strong smell of food hit my nose. Sniff... oh, that casserole smells so good right now. The smell of beef, vegetables and a dash of many seasonings made my mouth water in an instant. I could've just run over and... Nope No! I need to focus... I was shaking my head and trying to bring myself back to reality. Sigh... That overpowering smell of food is getting me a little side track of what I need to do for tonight. The canine's nose and sense of smell is a real pain to ignore huh?

After closing the door behind me and locking it, I found myself standing in the living room of my nice warm home. Nothing to fancy I guess. Yes, I'm still trying my utmost best to ignore the smell of food.

Just a single storey three bedroom home, a little away from the city centre... Roughly fifteen minutes from where I work, with Pinewood floors throughout the whole house, except for the bathroom, and the kitchen... those are tiled... Granite counter tops in the kitchen, and a nice big bathroom all for me and my Folf self to enjoy. Oh, and the house is quite large and mostly painted white on the inside.

The only thing that's weird about this house is walking to the kitchen. Why you ask? Well, when you are in the living room you need to take a step up into the kitchen area, like I'm doing right now. And it's the only raised area in the whole house... The big dining room, which is off to the right, you have to step down into. I don't really understand why it was built this way, but oh well... it's my home.

I left my keys and laptop bag on the kitchen counter... then followed the delicious smell of food over to my slow cooker and switched the power off. It kinder sucks because I'm starving right now, so my brother better have a feast for a king ready by the time I get there. With time in mind, I took another look at my watch. Hmm... 4.39pm, well then I better get a move if I'm to be there on time tonight.

I didn't wait around any longer... I left the kitchen and began walking off to my bedroom. I passed by my home office along the way, which would've been the third bedroom of my home, if I didn't make it into an office in the first place. Then on the way down the hallway, I took off my suit jacket, before moving onto loosening my tie while I passed by the second bedroom of the house.

The master bedroom or my bedroom was the next door down. It's also at the end of the hallway and it also just happens to be conveniently away from everything and is also right next to the bathroom.

After I opened the bedroom door, I walked over to my big king size bed, took my tie off and then set my suit jacket down on the corner of the bed, before placing my blue tie on top of it. I made my way over to the nightstand next and then took my phone, my security card, and wallet out of my pockets and then placed them all down onto the cabinet closest to the window, and next to my bed.

My wardrobe was my next destination, and where I headed too whilst slowly unbuttoning my shirt.

I didn't take my shirt off once I opened my wardrobe. Instead, I reached in and started to run my left hand through my formal clothing sets. Like most canines, I still needed to be careful, I did have claws after all and I really don't feel like buying new shirts. And I also make sure all my formal shirts have a matching pair of pants, normally long black ones attached to the hangers to make my life easier.

Somehow I managed to get stuck on trying to decide what to wear for dinner tonight. And so... with time kinder not on my side tonight, I just grabbed something at random and then pulled it out. It all just happened and I found myself holding onto a collared dark navy-blue button up shirt to wear for tonight. I liked the shirt, even told myself that it would have to do before setting it down on my bed.

Well, with my clothing for tonight sorted, time for a shower I guess... so with that thought in mind, I then wandered off and made my way into the bathroom. I made short work of turning the water on first. Then I stepped away so I could finish getting myself undressed. My watch was the first thing to come off out of everything, followed by my belt, my shirt, my pants and then lastly my underwear.

Seeing my beautiful-self, standing there completely naked in the mirror was a treat. Even though my fur was a bit of mess from a long day, it was still a bit of turn on. But I couldn't stand around, so I left my handsome reflection behind at the mirror, went back to where I needed to be and finally stepped into the awaiting shower with my tail in tow, and then lastly closed the door right behind me.

I never expected it but I yelped to the icy cold jolt I got from running my hand under the water... And out of pure reflex, I instantly grabbed the hot tap and turned the heat right up. Hey now... what can I say, I'm a softy... sue me. But from the wonderful change, the room started to get real steamy.

The warm water was so good, a much-needed stress relief for me. And letting it soak into my fur was the best idea ever, especially when I finally reached for the shampoo. This time I decided to check on which one I actually purchased, because last time I brought "FurRoo - Frizzy," and Holy Shit... I never heard the end of it from Zoe the next day, "Maximum Frizzy" being my name for the whole week.

Best thing was to find that the label was "FurRoo - Fuzzy", and with that mind, I happily stepped out from under the warm torrent of water, opened the top of the bottle and then went to work.

After squeezing a good amount onto my hand and putting the bottle back up onto the shower rack, I started with rubbing the FurRoo into my chest and over shoulders first. Then I moved on to lathering up the rest of my fur, including my tail which also needed some attention. My hands wandered from that moment on and ended up running over my face and then down my muzzle, before splitting up.

One went back to my chest, while the other... namely my right moved down much further and ended up on my white furred sheath. Oh, come on. You're lathering yourself up with soap and you're telling me you wouldn't do the same thing your sheath? No? Well then, guess what, I say you're lying to me but who am I to judge. Oh, wait... unless you're female, which means this has just become extremely awkward... okay, I'm going to shut up now.

Anyways, I began with circling around my sheath and then rubbing over it. My touch gave me shivers all over. My motions were slow as I cupped my hand around it and grasped it firmly, and I was gentle once I began to stroke my fleshy tube. I sighed at first. Then some soft moans escaped from my maw after each slow stroke... Instinct for release slowly began to take hold and I was already beginning to buck up into my hand as my member stirred and slowly emerged from its protective hiding place.

I could have used the FurRoo shampoo as lubricant. I could have just wrapped my soft padded hand around my aroused member while the other hand cupped, and played with my white furred orbs to build myself up to the point of climax and finished myself off right there. Quite possibly spraying my seed all over the shower wall and fur, then allowing the water to wash it all away, but I was under a bit of a time constraint tonight... so just for tonight... I'm sorry... but I'll have to deal with you later.

I prefer to do it slowly anyway. And just savour the moment before unleashing my built up load.

It was so hard... but I had to, and I had to step back under the warm running water. At first, it started soaking my fur again, but then I began to relax and close my eyes, before looking up into the flowing stream with my ears back. I felt it drown my face... The sound of warm water blocked out all outside noise and my mind wandering a little from the warming sensation. I could sense it cascading around me and all down my body, and I could even feel it slowly washing the FurRoo out of my fur.

Further and further I fell. I just let myself go, and went deeper into a relaxed state... and enough that I tilted my head down to the floor and then let off a deep sigh. I was floating... until my eyes snapped open and I winced from a sudden sharp pain. My moment was spoilt, and it was because of a stream of water and soap ran off the end of my muzzle and landed onto my still aroused canine member.

It was all over when I felt that pain. And I was forced back from where my mind was wandering, and left to watch the water run down my body and on to what was still poking out from my sheath. With the coming winter and that the nights are also starting to get colder, I simply just stood there and let the warm water run through my fur a little bit more before finally reaching out to turn the taps off.

I never moved afterwards. I waited a few more minutes and just stood there. It wasn't on purpose. It was to let the excess water drain out of my fur, before walking over and opening up the shower door to step out and dry off. The steam in the bathroom was great and made the room nice and warm.

After grabbing my towel from the rack, I started with rubbing it over my head and then I moved onto the rest of my body. I was careful, and thorough with drying my fur. My tail was the very last thing to be dried off before I finally wrapped the towel around my waist and then headed over to the mirror.

A part of my normal routine is to see how I look after my shower, and now that I saw myself nice and well... "Fuzzy", I reached for my comb and then went to work on brushing my slightly damp fur.

Personally, I think going out after a shower with damp fur can be one of the worst feelings to have. It can be especially confronting if it was to involve something like clubbing that night. The smell of wet fur can really get to you sometimes... unless you're horny... Let's hope that's not what the surprise is.

FurRoo, on the other hand, is one of the most amazing fur shampoos I have used. It certainly does its job and my comb glided right through my fur without any resistance what so ever. A little bit of extra combing was needed on my chest and shoulders, but everything looked amazingly good afterwards.

Once I was done, I put my comb away, collected my clothes, my watch, belt, and then slowly headed back to my bedroom with my towel still firmly wrapped around my waist.

You want to know the best thing about living alone? You can walk around butt naked. Although that is true I'm just not most people anymore. Why? Hah! Well, I changed ever since Aiden my next door neighbour came knocking on my door in full police uniform, cuffs, weapons, the works...

First, he asked me to put some clothes on, then told me that he had seen me through the window as he walked past, the second was that he wanted to talk me about something, and wasn't sure who he could really talk to. Best bit, he even threatened to cuff me in my own home for being so damn sexy.

Now, now... before jumping the gun about what really happened. Perhaps I should explain myself to you first. Since well, what do you know? You weren't there... and I am no slut for your information.

Hmm, let me think... It would have been almost two years ago by now, October 18th.

It was Friday, and of all days it could be it's almost for lunchtime. Zoe, as usual, was yelling out to me because apparently, it seemed working hard in the office is a crime, and yes I do work hard.

So, after finally responding... There she was now telling me about this person on the phone claiming to be my brother from when I was a just young pup, who would also like to speak to me right now. I was shaking my head in total disbelief to what she is telling me, and also claimed it had to be a joke before asking her politely to hang up or at least let me check out if what this person says is true.

I was already in a bad mood. I had just got into the office a little over an hour ago, and after a really long eight-hour flight, let alone a crazy week before that, oh and a phone call. I just wasn't ready to deal with anyone's bullshit today, especially from a person claiming to an-apparent lost brother.

Sounds kinder cold, but that's the truth. What happened to me a week ago was insane, and I'm still not okay... let alone not forgetting the phone call that I got right after I stepped off the plane.

What made things worse for me was that she blatantly refused and seemed to be very convinced for some strange reason, and that person on the phone claiming to be my biological brother was indeed him. Not only that, but he would also like to meet up and get to know each other.

This day was just getting better and better, and I still haven't said what happened last week, and I'm already getting yelled at, sigh... Great... Hell, Why don't we go there now and save us all the trouble?

One week ago... The date, October 8th, and it's a whole entire week and bit before that phone call.

That afternoon which was a Tuesday, I managed to catch a flight back home a day earlier for a short break before needing to fly out again on the Sunday. This would be the start of the third week I was to be away for work, so I thought I would enjoy the time off at home... like who wouldn't?

When I got home... I was hoping to surprise my boyfriend Julian with a candle-light dinner before he got home from work... I instead come home, not only to find him fast asleep, but also catch him tied with another mutt in the house that we moved into together, let alone in the very bed we sleep in.

I never said a word... I should have, but I didn't. I should have just let go and allowed my darkness to take control, and allowed it to do all the talking for me, but I didn't... and I have no idea why didn't.

Instead, I just remained as quiet as possible and grabbed my long-term traveling bag, then started to pile some of my clothes into it. I even made sure to pack most of my personal belonging into it at the same time. It wasn't much since I never got around to getting anything else out of storage... The final thing was a photo of my family that didn't have him in it.

The worst part for me was finding both of their scents were all over the house as I was packing.

And then hearing, "Wait Max!", "I can explain!" come from behind me as I was walking out the front door of the house... Not like you can move when you're tied huh? And I made damn sure to slam the door shut on the way out. But like honestly... What possible excuse could you have that would make things better? I caught him outright, and that image is something I will never get out of my head.

I never messed around. I went back to my car, opened the door to the back seat, then threw my bag in and finally slammed the car door shut afterwards. I didn't even care that I heard glass break. I was furious and rushed to get into my car. I started the engine, put it in gear, and then drove off in some haste down the road without looking back. I knew it was the frame that broke, but I did not care...

After fifteen minutes of driving, I just pulled up into some random person's driveway from not being able to hold it all back anymore and just began to bawl my eyes out in my car... My muzzle and even my hands started to become soaked within seconds from my never-ending torrent of tears.

I don't know how long I was crying for. My nose was beginning to run just before my phone suddenly started to ring. But ever so slowly, I managed to fish my phone out from my pocket. I hoped it wasn't him, but I still checked to see who it was first. "Incoming Call... Mum" had appeared on the screen.

"Oh Shit, not now... sniff" I mumbled, before putting my phone back in my pocket. I just left it to ring out and vibrate. And at some point it did... At some point, it all stopped, and I finally hoped with this very strong assumption that the call just went to my message bank. Then I suddenly heard a ding...

I didn't want to talk to anyone. But I fished my phone back out again, and simply found a notification on the screen that said: "1 Missed Called, 1 New Voicemail Pending." I sighed and deeply while I was still sniffling. I had to know what it was... So, I pressed the buttons with my wet fingers. I tried to dial my voicemail. And with success, I finally placed the phone to my ear once my phone began to dial.

"One New Message," I heard first before it continued. "Hello my Dearest Max, It's your mother... I'd like to ask if you and Julian would like to join me and the rest of the family for dinner tonight. Would you mind giving me call back when you're free and let me know before five please, Love you..."

I just sank back into my chair and left my phone to fall away from my ear after hearing that message from my mother. I was so mad, and upset from hearing his name again, that I just broke down again and left my mind to only wander into the nothing. I just didn't know what to do anymore...

A few more minutes had passed by, and I found myself left with little choice on what to do. So I took one look at my phone, went to contacts, then scrolled down to find the only number I could think of and then hit dial. As it began to dial, I simply held my phone up to my ear and listened to the rings.

Ring-Ring, Ring-Ring, Ring-Ring... Click... "Hello?" the voice on other end finally answered with.

"Sniff... Mum? It's me, Max... sniff."

"Max, Sweetie? What's wrong?" she asked as more tears rolled down my cheeks and started to drop onto my shirt. My chest was so sore from all the weight. But somehow, I managed to hold it all back.

"I need to talk to you... sniff... Can I come over now please...?"

"Absolutely, I will see you shortly."

I managed to usher a thank you before ending the call... My world felt like it was falling apart as I put my phone back into my pocket. I could barely register that I had left the car running, or even the fact that I was able to put the car into reverse. But somehow I did, and slowly backed onto the road again and then began to make my way to my parent's house. It was a sanctuary for me and the only place I could go to in a time of need, just like this scenario for instance.

Thirty slow minutes later... I think... I had finally come to a stop in the driveway of my parent's house in Lester Crescent. I just sat there for a moment, and then let out a deep sigh of relief as I turned the engine off. I was home and at the home of adoptive parents, and the place where my life began.

"Adoptive?" Oh yeah, I'm adopted as well... Sorry did I forget to mention that? I'm absolutely terrible at telling my life story... but hopefully, I do start to open up a bit more, and not sound so bland at the moment. Then again, I am like most people, a sort of private person when it comes to their life.

Anyways let's move on and let me tell you what... the house certainly hasn't changed at all. The brick veneer house is massive compared to some. It is two storey tall, four big bedrooms, a double carport garage, and with a big fenced backyard . Just seeing the house again brings back so many memories.

I wasn't sure what to do, so I took a few extra minutes before slowly beginning to make my way out of my car. The only thing I picked up was my traveling bag from the passenger seat, and lastly taking my car keys also out the ignition before I closed the car door behind me.

With my traveling bag in hand, I slowly made my way up to the front door. It was hard. My ears were down and I kept my face low the whole time. Even after coming to the front door and reaching up to press the doorbell. I must have looked pathetic standing there waiting for someone to answer, but it wasn't very long after that I heard the door lock click, and then heard the door slow begin to open.

It wasn't until I looked up, that I saw my Mum standing before me, and wearing long light grey pants with a plain dark purple polo shirt. The horrified look on her face not only made me completely swell up emotionally from the pain, but it also made me start bawling my eyes out again.

She just rushed over to me and wrapped her arms around me. "Sweetie, its ok" she quickly, but very gently said into my ear while taking some of my weight, "Come inside and tell me what's happen."

"Ok, Mum..." I tried. But all I could manage was to mumble through my sniffling. I tried to calm down with the comfort and warmth of Mum. And it was slow moving. But Mum just walked me inside, and only stopped for a moment to gently close the front door behind us... before we continued to quietly walk through the foyer. At some point, we eventually ended up quietly moving into the living room.

I was at her mercy the whole way, and the first thing she did was to guide me over to the couch, and then helped me to sit down in middle soon after. I never felt her really let me go, but I felt her gently take a seat off to the side of me as she placed her right hand onto my knee. "What's happen Max?"

"You better get Dad... sniff"_I then turned my head just enough to look at her and meet her gaze with my ears still down, "and Evan if he's here to Mum... _sniff... You all need to hear this."

She then gave my knee a gentle comforting rub with her thumb. "Okay... I will go and grab them. Did you want anything to drink before I return?" Alcohol... I wanted a whole lot of alcohol to drown with.

"A big glass of vodka would be nice... sniff." I even emphasised the word big to her with my hands.

"Sure... Okay. You wait here for me sweetie, and I will be back in just a minute."

I give her a firm, but saddened nod... then watched as she got up and walked away. The moment she was gone, my gaze fell into my hands while I rested my elbows on my knees. _Vodka?_Well, it does go down well. And right now I needed something to remove the way I was feeling in a flash without too much messing around. I also don't get the after effects from drinking too much of it either.

The next thing I heard, which must have been a few minutes later, "Owen! And Evan! Get your fluffy butts down here immediately! Something has happened to Max." Sigh... Hearing that tone reminded me so much of those times Mum used to call me and Evan downstairs, for when it was time for us to eat dinner... or if we were in really big trouble from when we were much younger.

I had just looked up when I heard a few quick thumps... and then saw Mum walking towards me with an almost full glass and a box of tissues. She handed me my glass first and then sat back down beside me. Then Dad and Evan came charging downstairs. "Max! What happen? You ok Son?" Dad asked as he reached the living room. "Brother? You okay? What's happen?" Evan added into the mix.

"Please, Can both you sit down and let him speak?" Mum interrupted them. "You can see he is really upset." Dad and Evan just went silent. And without a word both of them went and each sat down on a recliner near us. I then felt her put her hand on my knee again. "Tell us what happened Max."

Me being well... me and left with only one option, I brought the glass in my hand up to my maw, and then only took a sip. I got a taste, then without any hesitation started to drink, and seconds later the glass was empty. "Please Max, tell us... How bad is it?" Mum asked just as I finished with a deep sigh.

"Well..." I started with before taking a deep breath. "I arrived back in the city today... and I was going to surprise Julian that I was back a day earlier then I was expecting. So I quickly hurried home hoping for him to still be working today so that I could set everything up. But when I got home... I found him fast asleep and tied with some random mutt in our house. Their scent was everywhere. I even found him tied in the very same bed we slept in... How's that for irony? A big, fuck you too me... Sniff..."

Silence then fell within the room. And no I'm not kidding... No one seemed like they took a breath as I looked around the room with just my eyes and listened with my ears. "So now I'm H..."

"Are you fucking Serious!?" Dad all but yelled in a very angry tone, suddenly interrupting me.

"Hush! Dear... Please, just let him finish." Sigh... thanks, Mum, thanks for stepping in for me again_._

"Yes Dad, I am dead serious." I then looked back to him, "I caught him redhanded in our... well, now I should say his house, and now his bed and tied with some other mutt. I didn't say a word when I saw the both of them. I just packed my stuff up and left... and now here I am Dad... sniff... homeless."

In the corner of my eye, I saw Evan gasp. "Holy shit bro. I am so sorry." But then Dad suddenly stood up from his chair, walked over to me and then sat down on the other side of me. His final act of love towards me was to place his hand on my left shoulder, "You will never be homeless Max..., never."

This is one of the reasons why I love my Dad so much. He always knows what to do... and how to talk to me with his loving voice... He also knows it will give me comfort while he keeps giving my shoulder a gentle rub. His way is always a sure sign that he loves me and will always help where ever needed.

"Your Dad is right sweetie." Mum then gave knee another comforting rub, "This is always going to be your home too. Always has been since the day we adopted you."

Those words... they were so warm. "Thank you, Mum. And you too, Dad. I really do appreciate it."

Dad then slowly moved his hand down from my shoulder and brought it to my back. "I can't imagine what you're currently going through right now Son, but you will be okay... We are here for you."

"I know Dad." I knew what he was up to. So I leaned into his shoulder and let off a deep relaxing sigh_as he started rubbing his hand over my back. "It's just... I feel so empty and alone now Dad. I feel lost about it all and I keep asking myself why. What did I do... _sniff."

"I know Son... But one day you will find it within yourself to move on with your life and find that right one for you. We as your family will always support you regardless of whatever happens, okay?" I just zoned out after I heard Dad say all that. What he said brought up a thought of something I learnt...

He was right about all of it. My life will move on just like it always has and I guess for better or worse we must march on. It's like a double-edged sword. I could try and forgive him but the trust I had with Julian is now broken. No! What am I even thinking...? I can't and I won't be with someone who is and has been unfaithful to me... And I'm certainly not having a relationship like that period. It is over...

You might be asking why I'm not acting more broken up then I should be about this. Well, ever since I was young, I was prone to violent outbursts. But Dad and his mystical Akita ways, he taught me this special technique to harness those emotions and over time it became all of my emotions. And now I manage things differently than most... like when I said nothing and just walked out of the house.

If I hadn't learnt what Dad taught me... things would have ended differently, the outcome most likely would have been the same and I would have just left anyway, but very, very angry, or even worse.

It's a long story and maybe one day I will sit down and explain it all. But just for now... let's leave that in the past for now. It's something that I call my darkness and it can become very violent if provoked.

"Max..? Son..? Are you listening to me?"

"Huh?" I suddenly said after being snapped back to reality. Dad even nudged me with his wet nose.

"Is there anything in your car that you need tonight or want brought inside before it gets dark?"

"Oh, sorry, Dad, Was a bit zoned out there for a second," I took a minute to collect my thoughts, and only came up with one thing, "Umm... the bag I packed my stuff into is on the back seat of my car."

"In that case, Evan? Would you mind grabbing your brother's bag and bringing it inside for him?"

"Not at all Dad..." Evan then turned his sights to me, "Just need your keys then Max."

As Evan approached me, I started fishing through my pocket to find my keys. It was so hard and I had to sit up off Dad just to get to them out. "I don't think I locked my car Evan, but just in case."

"Awesome..." he said while taking my car keys from me as I handed them over. "Won't be long..."

"Well then," Mum said with a bit of a sigh, as she gave my knee another gentle rub. "I will go and get your room ready then sweetie... looks like you might be staying here for a while."

"Thanks, Mum." That was all I could possibly say before she stood up and walked off. The second she was gone from sight, I then looked to Dad, held my glass up to him, and then asked "Anymore?"

He looked back at me with this real worried look. "Yes. But it won't be as much this time, okay?"

"That's fine," I said while perking my ears up with a little smile. "It's starting to help now anyway."

"Very well..." Dad then took my glass from me as he said, "I will be back in a bit then." I just watched him stand up off the couch, and then slowly head off out of the living room. And once he was gone, I then lazed back into the couch, tilted my head back and let off a deep sigh as I stared up to the roof.

My attention began to wander a little. The vodka was slowly doing its work on both my mind and my body. But somehow after I let off a yawn, I finally noticed how badly I was going to need a shower to wash the fur on my muzzle. It was a little stiff from all of my dried up tears... The scary part was how I also noticed the fur on my hands was in the exact same dried up state from the aftermath.

I had peace up until I heard the front door close with a bit of a bang and the heavy footsteps. When I looked up, I saw Dad approaching me with a smile. He was now also carrying two glasses and both of them were also half full. "Thought, I might grab one for myself after all that."

Dad handed my glass to me first. Then he sat next to me as a loud thump hit the floor. That was my bag, and we all heard the unmistakable sound of glass... and it was as clear as day. "Oh, Shit!?"

"Evan? Was that the sound of glass breaking?" Dad asked while we both looked at my brother.

"I am so sorry Max, I didn't know... I'll pay for it I promise." Evan even held his hands up to say sorry.

I chuckled a little. "Relax, Evan. It's ok." His sudden startled and tensed up nature gave me cause for concern. "It was just a picture frame. It broke from when I threw my bag into the backseat earlier."

"Phew... okay, I'm safe."

"What's up with you anyway?" I only asked because I was actually interested in his odd behaviour.

"What do you mean?" I could already see that he was trying to relax, but also taking deep breaths.

"You're so bright, all of a sudden." It's true though. When I was looking at him before he left us to go outside, he was a little down about everything. But now that I was looking at him, his face is now full of colour and his ears are at full attention. It's like he's embarrassed or has been up to something he shouldn't have been. But he's an adult now... so what on earth could it be?

Then I saw the massive grin that came across his face. "Ah... that would be the curse of Red Lollies."

"Oh, Fuck me" I exhaled before slouching forward and slamming my head into my hands. Somehow I still managed to hold onto my glass. But I was hoping not to ever hear that curse again... red lollies.

"Don't worry yourself Son..." Dad then began to rub his hand over my back again, "I'm sure he didn't eat too many. And for tonight, we are having a wonderful Barbeque with lots and lots of meat..."

Then all of a sudden, we heard an overexcited bark come from Evan. "Someone say Barbeque!?"

I knew that reaction from him. So I looked back up and quickly saw his tail wagging, and it was out of control. His tongue was hanging out of his mouth and he was even slightly panting... "You sure about how many he ate, Dad?" I then turned my gaze to look directly at him as I took a sip from my glass.

He just looked at me with this smirk then suddenly said "Umm... Not anymore", before taking a quick drink from his own glass. And he even made sure to let us all hear the loud slurp to go along with it.

I, on the other hand, let off another little chuckle after hearing it. "And this is why I love my family."

"We know Son, and we also love you very much... So don't ever forget it." Dad spoke to me in such a way, that it actually made me feel a lot better while he continued to rub his hand over my back.

"Don't worry Dad, I won't..." I had the best of intentions at heart... and it was not my best of ideas to do, but after I spoke and with Dad comforting me, I then decided to finish off the rest of my drink.

"You are certainly thirsty, aren't you brother?"

"I am Evan..." Even though I could still see that excitement about the barbeque, he had calmed down a bit, and his tongue was back in his mouth. "But I should go wash up before dinner... it's been a long day after all."I also wanted to get settled in and to have some time to be alone by myself.

"Now that you mention dinner," Dad then stood up from the couch with his glass, turned and looked down too me with a smile on his face, "I should get started on the cooking then." His gaze then went to my brother, "Evan, Could you help your brother unpack?" All it took was a nod from him then Dad ran his empty hand over my head one last time before he quietly wandered off to the dining room.

Ok, so for a bit of a tour of what the bottom story of my adoptive parent's home looks like, I shall be nice enough and explain it to you. And there is also nothing better than getting a pat...

As you walk in from the front door, you would be in the foyer of the house. It contains two separate entryways. One goes to the Living room, the other goes to the Kitchen. It also has the stairwell to go up to the upper story of the house. The living room connects to our foyer, and Dining room. There is also a door near the Study area in the Living room that goes into the garage attached to the house.

And last but not least, the kitchen. Hah, the kitchen. Well obviously that connects to the dining room and foyer, but there's also a door that goes into the backyard, which should be where Dad is going to right now to cook meat on the barbeque. It sounds pretty basic, but trust me... this houses floor plan and layout are huge, but also very spacious... even with all the furniture that my parents own.

So after Dad left us, I waited for a few minutes until finally asking if my brother was coming with me.

His response... "Y-Yeah... coming... s-sorry."

My eyes lit up in absolute shock. "Holy shit, Evan... How many did you actually eat?" He now had the jitters. It's rather funny sometimes, but right now it was pretty bad... especially with him twitching.

"Umm..." he said while placing his slightly shaking left hand to his chin. "I think to-too many. I kinder did... Ehh, umm... lose count after the... the seventh I think... I think it was..."

This was bad... and I was shaking my head in total disbelief as I stood up off the couch. "Well, are you going to be okay to carry my bag up to my room for me, while I take my glass back to the kitchen?"

"Yeah... I think so." I felt so sorry for my brother... especially when I saw him pick my bag up from the floor and then to begin too slowly make his way towards the stairwell after I spoke. Evan and the red lollies is a long story and he should know better than to play with those cursed things.

On the way out of the living room, I found that Mum just coming downstairs. "Hey, Sweetie" was all she said to begin with while she came alongside me. But then she told me my bed was ready and all made up, and that she had also left a fresh towel on my bed, as she followed me into the kitchen.

All I could do was thank her, and I even said that she really didn't need to do that for me. I knew how to make my bed and where everything was after all... But Mum simply told me that she was happy to do it for me, and I even got a kiss on the cheek afterwards. Mum was so happy and the smile she had was a nice addition to see as we both wandered into the kitchen.

We split up from there and she told me that she was going to get started on the sides for dinner. I on the hand wasn't sure if she knew after I placed my glass into the sink, so I told her "Oh, and Evan has been eating Red Lollies, if you don't know." I honestly don't know what possessed me to tell her.

"He's been what!?" I wasn't expecting that response, or for her to pick up the veggies chef's knife.

Mum was pissed. And the look she suddenly had said it all, "Oh, I thought you knew? Umm... shit?" I tried to shrug it off, but yeah nope... she didn't know. She was beyond pissed. The look she had even made me quiver in fear. And it got much worse when her head snapped towards the back door right after I told her about my brother. "OWEN!!!" she all but shouted with a deep growl in her voice.

Oh trust me, it was a good thing that she was standing on the left side me, because Wow! That shout was loud. And Dad, Well, he was very quick to appear, and to poke his head in through the back door with his ears back from that sudden heaven-have-no-fury-like-Mum shout. "Yes... dear?"

"What's this I hear about Evan?" she asked while pointing the chef's knife at him.

"Oh, Umm... My, bad?" he said hesitantly. Clearly, Dad knew exactly why Mum was very angry.

Then she suddenly growled. "Get your fluffy butt back to cooking... I will deal with you later."

"Yelp! Yes dear, at once." I've never seen Dad disappear so fast. He was like poof and gone... The fact that we both shared a rather warming laugh afterwards was even funnier... And, it was so nice to see everyone in such a joyful mood. It actually started to make me feel better and it was also quite a nice distraction from thinking about my situation. Like Dad said, "In time, I will find a way to move on."

"I'm sorry sweetie." Mum only spoke aloud as she went back to chopping... "But thank you for saying something to me. You know best of all how bad it can get for Evan. But your Father is so naughty and should have told me before he gave him any..." Even though Mum is a Husky, she can be rather scary when wielding a knife. And what I can only assume... a living nightmare if she's really, really mad.

"I know Mum and I don't think Dad is mainly to blame though. I believe Evan may have eaten quite a few more then he let on without saying anything to Dad. So it might be a good idea to give him some of that calming medicine you have for him soon since he had the jitters when I was talking to him."

"That's a good idea sweetie. Can you send him down when you go up for me please, and don't worry about your father, I will deal with him appropriately."

I chuckled and happily agreed to send Evan down for Mum with an affirmative nod. Just that thought alone of Dad being punished was all too funny... and I could only imagine what Mum was going to do to him. But before I headed off, I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek then thanked her for everything.

My pace was slow after I left Mum to be alone and started making my way upstairs. I wasn't really in any hurry to get to my bedroom, but I did make it upstairs without any real trouble. I then took a left at the top and simply kept walking from that point. My bedroom was down at the end of the hallway and also just happens to be the very last door on the right-hand side, opposite our parents.

The moment I opened the door, I simply found my bag on the floor and at front of my bed. The blind on my window was even open, and then I saw Evan sitting on my bed. "Took you long enough..."

"I was talking with Mum," I said while closing the door behind me. "What do you expect?"

"True" was all he said with a simple enough nod. I then informed him about Mum wanting him. But then he suddenly said "Ok... but first, come here." My mind all but exploded as to why and what he could have been possibly up too. So I asked him why and then he suddenly said: "Just do it."

I sighed in defeat before slowly walking over to him, and being caught on what to do did not help.

Just as I came to stand in front of him, he quickly stood up and then closed the space between us by wrapping his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug. "I am so sorry about your breakup Max." I was not expecting that in my ear and then to feel him rest his head on my left shoulder right after...

Even though I could feel his body slightly shaking, I didn't know what to do or how he even managed to say any of that through his jitters. It was just so hard and I felt my emotions swell up. I got so close to breaking down again, but I summoned all of my remaining will and held it all back. My whole body started to hurt, and out of pure instinct, I hugged him back and tightly before finally snuggling in.

I didn't want him to know. Even with the vodka affecting my system, I was enjoying the hug for quite a while, before I ended up releasing my grip to let go and look at him... "I'm going to get through this Evan, one day at a time okay. But you better go, Mum, is going to be yelling for you soon enough..."

"Evan! Come down here please." Sigh... it was all too soon. And then I heard the "Too late" part from my brother before we both started to lightly laugh from the sudden unexpected call out from Mum.

Mum had called and that meant it was time... So, I said to Evan that he should probably go before he got called again. He agreed with me, and then I also asked if he could close the door behind him. The best thing about Evan, and one of his most amazing qualities... he knows when to give me space.

Within seconds, he was on his way. I simply kept watch from that point and only looked away when I saw him disappear and when the door fully closed. He never meant it, but it did slightly slam.

Even with the large amount of concentration I'm using to hold everything back, I could still sense the love my brother has for me, and it is not only just a brother thing either. He's a Huskita and I'm a Folf after all... so no, we are not blood-related. It happens, and it did indeed happen between us. But that is just another long story for another time... and that special story is buried deep within my past.

Now that I was finally alone, the first thing to escape me was a deep sigh of relief, before I went over and picked up my bag. All I did was simply drag it over to my wardrobe, opened one of the doors and then marvelled at all the space I had. Yep, my wardrobe is rather big in comparison to the amount of clothes I managed to pack and bring with me. Shopping with Mum and Zoe has always been fun, so I guess I'll be doing that sometime soon. With or without them is always the question...

The first thing I did after unzipping and opening my bag was pick up all my formal shirts... They were simply hung up on the rail before I moved onto the next thing. And being me... I made sure all of my formal shirts had their long pants attached to the hangers before I packed... I like to have everything match, only because I like to buy my clothing in sets if I can. Oh, and I also like to be neat and tidy.

The next thing I pulled out my bag was my shorts and briefs... and those went into the top drawer of my wardrobe cabinet. I was going to put my bag up on the top shelf after I was done, but because of the broken glass, I decided to just close the wardrobe door and leave my bag exactly where it was.

My final task was to go over to the right side of my bed, which also happens to be the side closest to my window and then to take a seat right in the middle. Only to then lie back after mere seconds with a loud thump. I sighed... and deeply as I looked up to roof. My mind swirled around the memories of this room. And wow... I still remember the day when I was finally old enough to have my own room.

You might not believe it, but it's all true... I was so happy and excited then. Even though Evan got his room first, I got the biggest one, which he didn't know until after I got mine. I blamed Dad for saying something..._such a troublemaker..._A good thing was that we never wanted to swap after that either and that could've been because mine is opposite Mum and Dads room... which I never cared about.

Even when I was younger, Dad used to pick on me. Not in a bad way I guess... he just liked to say that I looked cuter when I was flustered. The photo in my bag, he roughed me up on the day it was taken.

My adoptive Mum, she was in real estate at the time my birth mother passed away.

The story I was told... I went to my auntie's house on my birth mother's side of the family to be cared for first while everything was being finalised and sold. I wasn't there for long as my Mum explained it to me. But during that time my adoptive Mum and my Aunt talked a lot. My Aunt basically said that I was going to be put into the foster system because she couldn't take care of me.

I was only a few weeks old when my birth mother passed... the cause was something unknown, and I still don't know to this day what it was exactly. But somehow from there... I was brought here to stay with the Whittwers. What I didn't know until much later on, was that while all of the paperwork was getting sorted out to put me into the foster system, I had been brought here when Evan was still just only six months old. I know... it was a big shock to me as well when I found out.

When the foster agent arrived to collect me, my adoptive Dad put a stop to it right there after taking one last look at me. He told me that something just changed inside him and that he suddenly needed to protect me. And so from that moment on, I was adopted. I took on their last name and I became a much-loved member of their family... They also called me their early Christmas miracle...

It's strange... But as Dad taught me this technique... triggers and memories about various things just seemed to disappear. Like they had been locked away is another way of looking at it... I remember a lot but... I don't know... I guess you could say that there are a lot of blank spots in my memories.

Knock, Knock..."Max? You awake sweetie?"

"Yeah Mum, come in." I was still lying on my back when the light from the hallway started to shine in and illuminate my room. And as I tilted my head up to look towards the door... it was a bit bright, but my eyes adjusted enough to see Mum poke her head in. "Hey, Sweetie. Dinner is almost ready if you want to go and wash up before coming downstairs to join us."

"Thanks, Mum. I'll be down in a few minutes." Mum never said anything back to me. She just smiled at me for a few moments then quietly wandered off. She even left the door open for me.

I never really put much thought into the sound of a barbeque tonight. But, boy does it certainly smell good with the scent of sausages, bacon, and even the steak is certainly making its presence very well known. There is a hint of seasonings mixed into the various smells. And I can even smell that Dad has cooked himself some beef rissoles... Sigh... Yep, I'm coming to eat you meat... just you wait for me.

The meat was my calling card. It was summoning me, and I didn't any extra encouragement to spring up from my bed. I even left my phone behind on the nightstand before I started to make my way out of my room. Eventually, I made my way down the hallway, passed by Evans room along the way then ended up in the bathroom. The smells followed me the whole way and all the way over to the basin.

The second I turned the water on and leaned closer, I was already cupping my hands together under the warm stream and building a pool to wash my face. Once was not enough... I had to rub and keep on rubbing at my fur to get it clean from all of my dried up tears... And it took minutes of continuous rubbing again and again and loads more water to get my face into a state of actually being clean.

My muzzle, my neck, and even my hands were basically saturated. But then as I looked up to see the results in the mirror... it all just hit me. "Crap, I forgot to grab my towel," I spoke aloud after realising my mistake and while I was also turning the taps off. I had actually forgotten to bring my towel...

"Here, Max. Use mine." I was not expecting that or that voice. I knew who it was. I knew them all too well, but I wasn't expecting them... especially when I turned around to see them standing there.

"Are you sure?" I asked as water kept dripping down from my fur and onto the floor.

"I am... Here, take it." Evan happily said as he walked over to me and simply handed it to me.

I took it from him without a second thought, thanked him afterwards and then ran his towel all over my fur. What was strange was to smell the fresh washing powder within the threads of the fabric. It almost smelt like it had just been recently washed, but his strong male scent was still all over it...

Evan then asked me if I was feeling better now that I had finally stopped trying to dry off my fur. And surprisingly enough, I did and I told him the exact same thing. But then, I asked him why he was here as I ran the towel over my face one last time. What he told me was this, "Was coming up to check on you, and too also grab you because dinner is ready and waiting for us on the table."

"Perfect timing" was all I said at first, but then I added, "I'll just hang this up then be right down."

"Okay... See you at the table then."

I started to head over to the towel rack while Evan made his way out of the bathroom and then went off downstairs. But just as I hung the towel up, a thought came to mind, and I started to wonder why he was up here in the first place. Clearly, he was hiding something unless I'm maybe just reading into the situation wrong... I don't know, but it was very strange.

The thought had to be pushed aside... I was in no state to dwell on it and the smells had really gotten to me really badly. I was hungry and ready to devour... So, I padded my way out of the bathroom and then headed downstairs. When I presented in the kitchen, I found Mum already looking at me as she was placing down a stack of plates on the kitchen counter. "Perfect timing Sweetie, Would you mind taking these to the table for me please and then you can start serving up when you are ready."

"Sure Mum." That was all I said as I picked up the stack and then slowly wandered over to the dining table. And to my surprise, Dad and Evan were already sitting down and waiting. "Plates anyone?"

"Yes, please" Evan called out first.

"Sure Son. Mum shouldn't be much longer, so why not pass them around for all of us..."

The dining table we have seats six people. A solid mahogany wood table to be precise, with chairs to match, so trust me when I say this, you bang your head on it... you will know all about it, because... it hurts! I know... since it's happened to me a few times and it appears to have also been freshly oiled.

As I walked around the table, I placed plates down for everyone, mine being the last before I decided to take my seat opposite Evan. And, because the table is big and rectangle shaped, Dad always sits at the head of the table, which is to my right. Mum is to my left and Evan is directly across from me. I'm also sitting down in the exact same spot I always did when I was a just a puppy... and still do.

But just after I sat down, we suddenly heard a loud smash of glass come from the kitchen. "Crap!"

"Is everything alright in there?" Dad quickly called out after Mum had voiced her frustration.

"Yeah, I'm fine... I just dropped the spare salad bowl."

"I'll just purchase a new one tomorrow. Come and sit already. I will clean the mess up after dinner."

"Give me one minute, please."

"Certainly dear, we can wait." Dad then turned to look back at me and Evan. "You two want to start serving up while Mum sorts out whatever she is doing, please? And Max, Can you start with serving the meat up for all of us please." It's funny how Dad says one thing and then does the opposite.

"Certainly Dad" I happily said before reaching for the tray and tongs, "Two of each?"

"That should be plenty for everyone. And there should also be enough left over's if anyone still feels hungry." Dad didn't need to tell me twice when I went in with both hands. Everything smelt so good and looked absolutely amazing. The fact I got first dibs was nice, and I was so tempted to just eat off the tray and to take a pass on everything else as I was lifting up the first piece of steak with tongs.

Until I heard "Don't you even think about it, Mister." The second I looked up, I was left in awe when I suddenly saw the black and white furred husky towering over me with a bowl of salad in hand. I tried to say something, but the only thing I managed to mumble was a simple enough "What?"

"That pink drooling tongue hanging out your mouth says everything, Max." I had no idea... but once I fixed myself up and finally put my tongue back in my mouth, those soul-piercing blue eyes that were looking down at me, they finally shifted and looked elsewhere. Well... and yes that sucked... The fact I never noticed what my body was doing while I was having my split-second daydream of eating all of this wonderful meat is bad. "I will serve the meat for everyone now." My life was over... I felt my life drain away the moment she took the tray from me and put the bowl of salad down onto the table at the same time. It was gone... all of that precious and delectable yummy barbeque grilled meat...

From that point on, Mum was in charge... And ever so slowly, our dinner was served. My mouth was basically watering from the smell. Oh and Mum made sure we had plenty of salad and veggies which Evan helped with. Somewhere during all of that, I caught Dad giving me this stupid smirk. It's a bit of an in-house family joke on how much we canines love our meat. But with me being gay, they love to point the finger at me for loving it even more. As I said, apparently I'm cute when flustered, and Dad loves to shit stir as usual. But it's a good distraction, and we all shared a few laughs around the table.

There was no stopped me after I grabbed my knife and fork, and then dove in, starting with the very delicious looking sausages... After my first bite, the garlic mixed herb flavouring and flame grilling all but danced around in my mouth... Then I went for a bite of bacon, a small off-cut of steak then some more sausage before I closed my eyes to the mix of combining flavours in my mouth... It was heaven.

Minutes just seemed to tick by and mouthfuls went along with them. "Max? You ok?" Evan suddenly asked. I all but screamed in my head... I couldn't even enjoy the moment without getting interrupted for once. The moment I swallowed my mouthful of food, I then looked up to him and then said "I am fine Evan... Why?" I didn't even realise Mum and Dad were also looking at me with deep concern.

"You've kinder already half devoured your food." He said while gesturing for me to look down. I then followed and looked down. The shock of it all was to see he was right... half of it was gone. The worst part was how my attention wandered to everyone else's plates... and theirs looked like they had just started. Sigh... "I haven't eaten since I got off the plane this morning, so I'm actually quite hungry."

Had I not been distracted by my emotions and the current situation, I would have jumped when I felt a rather warm furred foot suddenly running up the inside of my left leg. It came from one place... the other side of the table. It was Evan. "Okay, but do slow down... The last thing we need is you choking tonight." He then gestured for me to look at both Mum and Dad with his eyes.

The moment I followed, both of them only nodded in acknowledgement. I could not win. So, I sighed and then looked at Evan. "Fine, I'll take it slow from now on." I didn't stop there... I also thanked him for looking out for me, which was also when his foot ran back down my leg and finally disappeared.

Only Evan would do something like that to me, and he is straight by the way. Just that when it comes to me... I don't know, He changes I guess. I'm not really sure when it all started to be honest. But I do know that he does these things when he's really concerned about me. It's kinder cute actually.

I've always thought that it's his way of communicating those things he can't verbally say to me. Even his touch is and has been one of the most mysterious things to me. And yet... he doesn't know about my gifts, no one does actually. We share a very strong bond as brothers and always have. Even when we were just young puppies, he's always and only ever wanted to protect me.

This one time I was in hospital, he came up and slept in the same bed as me because of this accident I had in primary school. And apparently from memory, that was also the very first time I experienced my gifts first hand... It wasn't all bad... because that was also the day he promised to protect me as a brother. And as I recall, it was also the day that his protective Akita side had finally awoken.

Many years later... we actually slept together and mated for the very first time, well for me it was my first time... Yep, he also took my virginity. But I've never really had a problem with the affections he's ever shown towards me, and still does from time to time. I don't know why, but I guess it's because I understand more about him than most or due to the fact that we have been very intimate... Perhaps it's just a deep trust thing that he has with me. Regardless of his reasons... I still love my brother.

My first time was also the night Evan wanted to find out if he was gay, bi, or straight. He also wanted to protect me from a possible bad experience that I could have with a guy. It was special, and I'm not even going to deny how good it was. The few extra times after that night were just as amazing as our first time together... and he really helped me break through this dark barrier of fear I had about sex.

He's just like Dad in his protective ways, just not as physically strong because of his husky side. Some believed that was bad for him, and yet he's rather intelligent... Ehh, sorry, Dad... I know you are too.

My gifts were also helping me most of the time. And still were while I was learning how to use them.

Like the rubbing from his foot, for instance. I could sense the warming energy radiating off him and it felt like a mix of love, comfort and guardianship. I'm currently nursing a stomach ache right now... So another way I can look at this is that he was telling me to stop, think, and listen to all support around me, I only needed to ask and not everything is going to feel like a nightmare, and that I still have him.

It's weird because I never felt any lust, or the need of him wanting more from me... Sigh, I guess he is just my loving brother after all and only wants to support me like he normally does, which is good.

We did promise that nothing would ever change between us after my first time. And if we were ever going to have sex again, we had to be in complete agreement about it... Even though that wonderful night and agreement was made many years ago, it still has remained with no if's, but's, or maybe's.

As for a relationship... well, our deepest intimacy was only during mating, so it never really got out of control. We do still like to cuddle up to each other, but that's probably the most we ever do now.

He's a rather good fluffy blanket too.

On the flip side, dating other people was never a problem between us and we always respected each other's boundaries. Don't get me wrong... we have never acted like a couple... Evan just likes to get a little closer to me as I said. Good thing we aren't related or it would've been extremely awkward.

We did find one thing out while being together... we could never have a relationship with each other in the end. Somehow we just knew that we couldn't go to the boyfriend's level. Funny enough, turns out we were both fine with that. I still love him, but only as a very close brother and nothing more.

You know, kinder makes him sound like he's actually bi. The only problem is and as far as I know, I'm the only male he has ever been with. "Max? Sweetie..?" I suddenly heard from a very feminine voice.

"Huh? What?" The bigger shock was realising what had just happen then feeling the warm hand that came to rest on my left shoulder as I shook my head a little at the same time. Did I just zone out?

"Sweetie, I think you should go and have a nice warm shower, then go and get a good night's sleep."

"But I haven't finished..." I just went silent once I felt Mum's grip on my shoulder tighten a little.

"Sweetie... You have been lost in thought for over thirty-five minutes now, everyone else has already finished." My mind suddenly exploded just after she spoke, but then I began to take a reality check.

The table was exactly what she said it was when I slowly looked up from my half-eaten plate... it was spotless, all except for me. I was still holding onto my knife and fork... Then a glass was placed down on to the table in front of me and I knew all too well what that white liquid was... it was_milk_.

"Here's some warm milk for you Sweetie." She then started to give the back of my shoulder a gentle rub with her hand, "You can finish eating what's left on your plate for lunch tomorrow if you want."

And just like that, I surrendered and put my knife and fork down... But that wasn't all. I then reached back with my right hand, placed it on top of hers and thanked her as I gave it a gentle squeeze. Mum was right, a good night sleep, a shower, and this glass of warm milk was what I needed. But I also felt that I needed some more family time. Perhaps watching a movie will help me wind down some more before I go to sleep tonight.But still... sigh, wow... where on earth did all that time go?

After a few minutes of silence and comfort, Mum then took my plate away as I went and gripped my glass. But before I picked it up to take a drink, I waited for her to step away first. I love milk. And ever since I was young, that was the only thing I would drink. So it wasn't long until the glass was empty.

The warmth and taste of milk was so good, that my mind started to wander after I put my glass back down on to the table. The saddest thing was how it travelled to how this break up was really starting to etch at me on the inside... Even right now, I just started spinning the glass around in circles while I was deciding on what to do next and what step to take... and I had quite a few choices to pick from.

Yeah, I guess this technique is stopping me from exploding... But the sheer amount of weight behind how pissed off I am, along with how emotionally shattered I am, it's just... I don't know. I don't have the right words for how I'm exactly feeling, except to say that I feel like I'm in a grey area of chaos.

But for right now and since I had no real choice... I decided to switch off from using my gifts and just keep my focus on holding everything back. Hopefully, with the nice long warm shower, I can start to detach myself from how I'm feeling and push it all, or at least some of my pain into the past.

"Here Son, let me take that for you." I have no idea when I heard that voice come from behind me.

"That's ok Dad" I quickly said as he was just about to pick up the glass from the table, "I was about to get up anyway." Normally it's quite rude to talk to someone while not looking at them, but after I did with the stale look on my face, he stepped back and gave me some room to push my chair out.

I didn't get a chance to pick the glass after I stood up. Dad was way faster to quickly wrap both of his big Akita arms around me and to pull me in for a hug. "Stay strong my Son, okay... you stay strong." I sighed right into his ear as I returned the much needed warm hug from him. It was so hard... I was so close to breaking down and Dad must have known when I finally told him how much I was trying.

Our hug lasted for quite a while. And just after we broke off from our hug, I asked him what the time was and he responded by checking his watch first, then told me "A little before seven." I could barely think straight after he told me that, so I simply told him that I was going to go and have my shower.

Dad never left me alone. He in-fact waited for me to collect my glass from the table. And the second I was looking back at him, he smiled at me, and then came alongside... He even gave me a gentle pat on the back as we headed into the kitchen. Dad simply followed along at my pace, until he saw Mum washing dishes. I knew something was up, especially when he quickly darted off ahead of me to help her, which I could only guess that it must've been the start of his punishment-- sucked in Dad.

I kept quiet and left my glass on the kitchen counter as I walked past. Even after hearing Mum let me know about the movie, I still didn't respond and kept on walking. Yeah, I know... just ignoring her like that makes me sound a little rude. And well... yes and no is my answer to that particular question.

Most of my focus was being directed at holding the massive dam wall up in my mind, and to prevent me from breaking down to the point where I might fall into a black hole of despair or explode in a fit of rage, potentially hurting someone in the process and not remember a thing after I finally blackout.

The technique I was taught is called Mantra and Dad calls it his ultimate suppression technique. It's a long explanation on how it works and it changed when I got older because of my gifts. Simply put... it controls the five states of the mind... as follows... Will, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual, and Physical.

Each state stacks onto the next in a circular circle. When there is weakness in one, it follows onto the next. And right now my will to hold it all back is so strong, that my mental state is being affected. It is not nice to go through and it makes me appear to have become cold-hearted. If my emotions get out of control or if I can't keep them all contained, well my spiritual side will be affected, and I'm already showing strong signs of depression.

Physically I will become tired and just want to sleep or more... and from there, it will affect my will to want anything anymore. Then finally onto the next stage, it goes in an ever infinite circle, a literal set dominos capable of tipping the next one over. Once all that happens... Well, my darkness that I keep locked away will take over, and only God knows what will happen after that point.

Like I said, that is just a simple explanation. Maybe in time, I will remember how Dad explained each state to me, as he taught it to me in much greater detail from when I was younger. But trust me, this technique hurt a lot... both physically and mentally as I was learning it, and I had to sleep a lot longer than I normally would've just to recover. So I'm thankful that he taught it to me... because it works.

After I made my way upstairs and past the bathroom, I headed down the hallway and then went into my room. All I wanted to do was have a shower... and this time I made sure to pick up my towel from my bed first, before wandering over to the wardrobe to fish out a fresh pair of clothes for tomorrow.

My mind went blank for a split second and I freaked out. I felt like I had forgotten something. And all I could think of was my towel. Even though I saw it and immediately felt it, I had just about hugged it to calm myself. That freak out over a towel put me on edge... and I knew from the moment on, that I couldn't linger any longer, so I hurried out of my bedroom and went straight down to the bathroom.

However... while I walking down the hallway, I noticed Evan's bedroom door was open and I could've sworn it wasn't just before. The fact I couldn't even remember that particular detail just made things worse. But on the plus side, my state of confusion completely went away after I closed the bathroom door behind me and then found myself standing in a familiar place that I knew I could relax in.

I immediately felt a deep relief from the sight. The bathroom was mine... and the first thing I thought to do, was to wander over and to set my fresh clothes down on to the vanity cabinet... My towel was then hung up on one of the empty towel rails near the shower before I went back to start undressing myself. It never took me long to undress... but after that, I went into the shower with my tail in tow.

Once the water was flowing and warm, I immediately stepped under the spout and let it drown me.

The one thing I love about this shower, besides that it absolutely saturates you, and fast... It's also so loud that you can't really hear anything, but the water as smashes into the tiles. So the stage was set and this was perfect for me to let go and open the floodgates, and to surrender to my emotions...

As I looked up into the torrent of rushing water with my eyes closed, I did exactly that... I let the dam wall crumble and it wasn't long after, that I broke down again and started to cry. And this time as the water was smashing into my face and running through my fur, I really let myself cry.

The rush of everything that I felt... it felt like all of my emotions were leaving me, like a river and all I could do was stand on the very cold wet shore and just watch as it all floated away downstream.

My care for Julian and everything I felt for him... I never want to see him ever again...

It was so slow getting there. But after banging my clenched hand on the shower wall countless times to vent my anger, I eventually collapsed and ended by sitting under the warm running water. I was in pain. My head then finally came to rest on my knees while my tail and arms wrapped around my legs with nothing but the sound of water to drown out the noises of my despair as I continued to cry.

You might be wondering why I was brief with the spiritual side during my little explanation.

Like I said... Mantra is complicated. But basically, I need to be in the right state of mind... I need inner peace to use my gifts effectively... And right now, I'm not emotionally stable, let alone strong enough to be able to filter out the things I don't want to sense from everything else stacked on top.

It's the whole reason I basically switched off from using my gifts. Using them both was causing some serious strain my on mental energy and I could feel that I was starting to get heavy fatigued. Another question is how the hell am I going to explain all of this to Zoe? She was the one who introduced me to Julian in the first place. Sigh... I guess that's now a tomorrow's problem.

Long story short... "We", as in me and her were having dinner at this restaurant that she kept telling me about. Apparently, the food was delicious and the service was incredible. Well, she was right on both accounts, and I had such a good time when I went there for the very first time with her.

Anyways, Julian was the waiter that she was curious about, so in the end and as a bit of a joke, which I'm not sure what the punchline was exactly and I don't use this language often, but the bitch set the whole thing up. At first, she was telling me how much she liked him and his snow leopard features.

I was expecting Zoe to invite him out for a dinner date but instead, she did this after he came over to offer us the menus. She stood up from her seat, and then said "Julian? Tonight is your lucky night big guy. Here is my friend, he really likes you... Now please, have my seat, and enjoy your surprise dinner date tonight. Goodnight boys... and please be at work on time tomorrow if you do actually fuck."

Not only was I red-faced in embarrassment, but so was he. What's even funnier is Julian dropped the menus before she walked off. Okay... Zoe might have broken the ice, but what she didn't realise, was that she absolutely obliterated it to the point where there was never ice to begin with... And she also apparently paid Julian's boss enough money to cover his shift for that one single romantic night...

I really don't know how long I was sitting on the floor and crying. Time was oblivious to me, but I felt so much better as I finally began to stand back up in my weakened state. And even though I felt a lot better, I honestly couldn't explain it. The massive burden was gone, and my feelings for him were all stripped away from me like fur from flesh. I knew the truth now... I didn't care about Julian anymore and I wanted nothing more to do with him ever again.

I could feel it within myself. Even though I had a lot of anger about it, I could feel that I was getting a little calmer about everything. I don't think I'll be dating for a while... just until I'm completely over it though. Mantra might be a way of controlling my emotions, but it's not without its flaws.

The worst part was how I never realised how weak I was from standing up because I stumbled... only to be caught by two strong arms suddenly wrapping around me from behind. "It's okay Max, I've got you." Evan? He saved me? I was taken by complete surprise when he rested his head on my shoulder at the very end. But I had to know why he was here with me now of all times. So I asked him outright that very question, of what he was doing here once he pulled me tightly into his naked chest...

His response... "Helping my brother as I always have... and I also wanted a shower."

His surprise... his warming and soothing touch... I couldn't hold back the storm of emotions. It hit me all at once and I suddenly broke down, and just started bawling my eyes out in the arms of my loving brother. "Shhh... I'm here Max... I'm here. You just let it all out okay, I've got you." Whispering..?

Evan... What can I say about my brother? He's a copper furred Huskita. His Mum is a black and white furred husky and Dad, well he's a red sesame furred Akita. The black overlay in his fur suits him very well. Oh and one thing I can't forget to mention about Dad is that he's also built like a tank.

Evan's cute and the girls love him. Perhaps it's the way he has sex with them, or the facial perks that he got from Mum. I don't know, but he is definitely a lover not a fighter, a protector... a guardian.

Kinder makes me wonder what he would be like when he finds the right girl for him... Actually, come to think of it... I should probably ask him sometime if he is currently dating someone special.

I do know that when we had sex those few times, the first time was slow, passionate, and he made it last with some fast-paced action at the very end. Then at my request all the times after that, he went harder and actually mated with me, like he would a girl he really loved, and so I had an idea of what I might encounter from another guy, minus his mating bite. So I guess it was just very passionate sex.

He looks a lot like Dad. Except for his face, which he has Mums husky muzzle... oh and darker fur...

That time I spent with him was precious. And he only asked if I was feeling better after I was brought to only sniffles of my despair. My response, "I am Evan... sniff... Thank you." I even gently rubbed my hands over his arms for reassurance, and he responded by gently rubbing his head up against mine.

I have no idea how long he was holding me for, but I do know that we were gently swaying from side to side when he quietly suggested that we should quickly finish up, then for us to both go downstairs and watch the movie with Mum and Dad. I never put much thought into it, but somehow, I ended up by saying, "Yeah, that sounds nice Evan. But I might need your help to finish showering though."

"Ok. You stay here and I'll be right back with the shampoo and washcloth..." I had grown accustomed to his loving warmth that I felt a little empty when he released me and finally wandered off... He had left me to bask in the only warmth available... the warm flowing water. But it was also nice to be left alone for a time since it gave me a chance to remanence on how it felt to be at peace with myself.

Although I could still feel the swirling anger within me, it was mostly directed towards Julian, and my question about why he did it was probably the main reason for that. I honestly wanted to know why.