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Our shower was quick after he returned with everything for us... Evan was literally doing all the work in washing my fur for me. Except for my private areas, those were my responsibility. And with a little of my help afterwards, we were done, out of the shower and then drying each other off in no time.

I didn't really bother combing my fur after drying off... and Evan decided to stay close to me and wait until I was dressed before he wandered off and opened the bathroom door to leave. I saw him stand there for a moment with the door open. Then he looked back to see that I was okay before he finally headed off to get dressed. Not that I was at all surprised, since he didn't bring any fresh clothes with him, but to see my naked brother looking back to see if I was okay... who would have thought...

But after he left, I decided to tidy up things a bit and pile our old clothes into the hamper for washing tomorrow, before I too ended up leaving the bathroom and heading back to my bedroom to grab my phone... And of all things to find, I never packed my charger... and my battery was at thirty percent.

On my way back down the hallway, I found Evan already waiting for me at the stairwell. He was now actually dressed, and he looked rather dashing in his plain dark grey shirt and black shorts. But like a brother, he simply led the way for us and I simply followed along behind him all the way downstairs.

I opted to wear a dark brown shirt for tonight, with navy grey briefs, and a pair of black cargo shorts that have three small white stripes on the left side. Along with the one thing I was given when I was younger, and that has never left me since I received it... a special necklace from my birth mother.

Evan said that he would meet me in the living room after we came downstairs. So, I told him that I'd be right there, once I got myself a drink. I wanted a drink anyway. I wanted a nice glass of warm milk again. And so from there, we went our separate ways, and I quietly wandered off to the kitchen.

Three minutes was all it took. One to prepare my drink, and two minutes to heat my glass up to that perfect temperature... the quick sip afterwards was just a bonus. When I arrived in the living room a short minute later, everyone was already sitting down. Not only that... but both Mum and Dad were actually waiting for me, and it seemed that the movie hadn't even started yet either.

Evan, on the other hand, was in a way all spread out on the couch and simply calling and waving me to come over and snuggled up with him. And without putting much thought into it, I did. His fur was so soft and warm after he put his arm around me. And it got better when he said, "We are watching something adventurous, so feel free to make yourself comfortable." Heh, he didn't even have to ask me twice, because that's exactly what I did. I snuggled in for what I assumed was to be a long movie.

Both of us had been holding things up, but once we were ready, Mum only then pressed play.

The opening part of the movie was pretty good to start with and I was getting really sucked right into the next action scene. I was even feeling quite calm and relaxed. Evan held me close and I was happy where I was. Until suddenly there was very loud banging at the front door. Then the doorbell started ringing while the banging continued... Not only did I get a big fright from the very first loud bang, But Dad must have seen me jump in Evan's arms because he was very quick to get up from his chair, and hammer it over to the door as Mum stopped the movie... and I swear he was growling too.

For a moment there was silence once we heard the door unlock. But then Evan gripped me tighter as we all heard Dad shout, "What the hell do you want Julian!? You are not welcome here anymore!"

I honestly could not believe it, or the nerve he had to come here, especially with what he had done.

"I want to talk to Max! And I'm not leaving here until I do!" Julian reciprocated by shouting back. Not only did hearing Julian's voice make my anger begin to stir... but for some strange reason, I could feel this sudden emotional storm that was brewing at the front door, and it felt extremely violent, almost like there was nothing but void standing at the front door. I couldn't see them because of the wall.

"Well, he doesn't want to talk to you... Now leave! Or I will call the Police!"

"Tell your son to get his fucking ass out here, right now!"

"I will NOT!" Dad growled back. "Now leave Julian. This is your last warning." I had no choice... Julian wasn't going anywhere, and Dad was probably just going to punch him. What's worse... my darkness had begun to stir and I was already feeling the urge to take it out on someone_, mainly Julian..._

So I removed Evan's arms from around me, and then looked to Mum as I said, "Mum? Call the police right now and tell them it's urgent while I handle this." All she did was give me a firm nod as I sat up completely and then started to make my way off towards the front door.

I'm not really sure why Evan didn't say anything to me or even try to stop me. He does after all know what can happen if I lose control, at least I think he does. You know, I can't actually really remember if he does know. Hmm... perhaps I should this time and leave Julian to wear the full brunt of it.

This is one of the good things about Mantra... with a little focus, I can suppress it even though it feels like there is something scratching at the back of my mind. And if you provoke it too much, well... you only have yourself to blame and I'm not a person to resort to violence first, but it does protect me.

I tried to remain calm as I approached and came up from behind Dad. I found him baring his teeth at Julian already and his head was almost touching his. "Dad, it's alright. I will hear what he has to say."

He turned a little to look at me as I finally came to stand on his right side. "Are you sure..?"

The tension was absolutely insane, and I was starting to get the excited tingles all over my body from it. You think tingles are good for me? Well, guess what... there not. That is my darkness, it was calling out, and it really wanted to come out and play. But Julian, the snow leopard at the door, he suddenly went very quiet once I fully looked at him and we locked eyes for a few very brief seconds.

"Yes Dad, I will handle this." Dad never said anything back to me... All he did was honour my request and take a few small steps back. He never went very far from me either, just enough to give me and Julian some room to talk. "What do you want Julian?" I finally asked now that he was in front of me.

"Can you come outside so we can talk privately, please?" Oh, the nerve... the fucking nerve...

"No! Say what you want to say right here." I spoke to him firmly and keeping strong in my resolve.

"Please? I will be quick." He asked before looking down to the floor with his tail between his legs.

Right now, I had given up on reading him for now. But I was willing to listen to what possible excuses he could have and perhaps... perhaps I should also make it known to him on how much he really hurt me in the process. "Only, if you keep your hands off me, Julian. If you can do that, then I will."

"Fine..." That was all he said back to me... that response made me immediately raise my guard, and it was also a response that brought my heart rate up as he stepped back and cleared the way for me to come outside. I could feel my darkness building and I wanted to unleash and tear him a new one, but I chose to ignore my darkening feelings and to step out into the cold night to have this wasted talk.

Dad even tried to follow me... but I stopped him at the door by looking back and saying "Dad I will be fine. Just stay by the door and watch if you have to..." It was only then that he growled and bared his teeth at me. And it was at that point that I knew for certain he wasn't going anywhere. Then again, it might've been good to have someone close by and to stop me in case I do blow up at Julian. The last thing I wanted, let alone needed to do, was to do something I would live to regret.

"Don't worry Son. I won't let you out of my sight for a single second..." The way Dad suddenly looked with his ears back, and as another growl slipped out, I was left guessing that he knew something was up, and that was him now warning me to not believe a single word I was about to hear from Julian.

His warning though... I heard that loud and clear.

After I turned away, the whole front part of the house suddenly lit up from the floodlights. Dad's big idea of keeping an eye on me as I quietly went further into the night. It certainly helped me to see all of the front yard and to find a good place to stand where we could talk... Where we ended up wasn't too far away actually... I'd decided to stand near my car with him and so Dad could also see us both.

The second I had my back pressed up against my car, I let him have it. "You wanted to talk? So talk!"

"I know you hate me right now, and there's nothing in the world I can say to fix things. But I'm really sorry okay... I don't know what happen."

"You don't know what happen!?" I growled at him. "How about I explain it then, I came home to find you in our bed and tied with a random mutt. Getting tied just doesn't magically happen, Julian."

"Then explain that guy you were working with recently."

"You mean Mike, The client that I almost lost my job too because of your jealousy and stupidity?"

"Yeah, him." he retorted back.

The fact that this subject was brought up again... my mind exploded. "Are you fucking kidding!? How many times have I told you, nothing happened between us? I have always been faithful to you Julian and he is also happily married to a wonderful wife, and has puppies on the way last I heard."

My blood was absolutely boiling. The fact that I had to explain myself to him... then it hit me, "Wait a minute. You think because I had to fly all over the country this past month, I was secretly meeting up with him and having romantic sex the whole entire time? Are you that fucking stupid!?"

"Don't call me stupid, Max" he hissed back at me with a feline growl.

"Why, not Huh?" I growled, and this time I was just holding back. "Your jealousy has seriously gotten out of control, Julian. Is that the reason why you slept... why you cheated on me with that MUTT?"

"Don't call him that!" he suddenly snapped back, angrily.

"Oh so you have feelings for him, do you? What happen to me? We've been together for almost two years now and you were the one who asked if we could get our own place together. And you wanted for us to move in together..." I then very got defensive, "Are you telling me it was all for nothing?"

He suddenly stepped forward and then placed his right hand on my left shoulder, "No Max, it wasn't all for nothing." He crossed the line with me, right then and there because of that move.

"Take your fucking hand off me, Julian. Right now..!" I growled as I felt my hacklesrise.

"No! I want to show you how sorry I am." He was quick... His other hand went around to the back of my neck and brought my muzzle closer to his. Then suddenly our lips touched and he began twisting his feline muzzle as he also attempted to push his tongue further into my maw.

The shock of feeling him touch me, I just pushed him away and hard out of reflex and pure disgust of what he did. "No Julian, we are done. Leave, and don't ever come back. I'm done with your bullshit!"

"But what happened to you being mine Max? Come with me... back to our home and let's just forget about all of this. We can start again. We can forget about all of this."

"I am no longer yours, Julian and I don't want anything to do with you anymore." I snarled as I spoke.

"Well then, if I can't have you... then... then I certainly won't allow anyone else to."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked as he started to reach behind him for something.

"Max! Watch OUT...!" It was like watching everything in slow motion after I heard Dad shout. He just came out of nowhere and suddenly charged right into Julian and knocked him to ground in the space of seconds. Then my face went from shock, to complete and pure utter horror after Dad tackled him to the ground. I saw it and then heard Dad's high pitched yelp, and all I could do was watch in horror as a sudden flash of a bright metallic object was jammed right into the back of his left shoulder...

Dad had knocked the wind right out of Julian... Then my blood went cold when I saw Dad get up with his right hand clutching tightly at his shoulder. "Dad, you're hurt" I cried out. I could see it all. I could see his blood starting to stain his shirt and a knife... there was a big knife sticking out of his shoulder.

"Don't worry about me" he growled while looking back to me and placing his foot right on to Julian's neck. Not once in my life have I ever seen this, let alone sensed it... death, blackness and void coming from someone, let alone Dad. The shroud of darkness surrounding him... words couldn't describe it.

I felt it once Dad began to crush Julian's neck. I felt pure darkness. "This is for attempting, to hurt my son, Julian." The voice he spoke with, it sounded like death was talking... and all I could do was watch and listen once Julian started gasping for air. He tried... He tried to break free from Dad. But Dad had him pinned under that one foot. "I want you to feel his pain and suffering as I slowly take your life."

The warmth of his life slowly drained out of him... and Dad was showing no mercy when he suddenly put so much more pressure on his neck. The bone-chilling sensations from Dad felt exactly that... like death or the reaper had appeared and was going to kill Julian. Oh yes... Our Dad is very scary when it comes to protecting his family. After all, he is an Akita. But those black sensations, let alone the dark aura that was coming off him... that alone was fucking scary, and even I started shaking.

I thought Dad was going to kill him, once Julian slowly stopped struggling and eventually succumbed to the loss of oxygen after a very brief minute... He was almost unconscious... but then Dad suddenly took his foot off his neck and allowed him to sit up and gasp for that ever precious substance known of as air before it turned into a literal coughing fit. "And this... this is for hurting me, cub." *SMACK*

I couldn't believe it. One massive punch was all it took from Dad and he was simply knocked out cold on our concrete driveway. But then Dad looked at me as my shaking finally stopped and said, "Better call an ambulance and have this seen to now huh?" Huh? Dad... he... he was suddenly normal again?

Everything about me was all over the place. How I felt and everything, but my ears were rather quick to pick up the approaching sirens as Dad came to stand beside me. And then in seconds, those sirens were here, they stopped, and then two police cars quickly pulled up onto the driveway and verge.

Two officers stepped out of the first car, both of them were German shepherds, and they were quick to make haste to us, while the other officers from the second car headed towards Julian. "I'm Officer Phillips," the bigger shepherd said as he introduced himself. Then he looked over to the other officer beside him, "This is my partner, Officer Haywood. Can you tell us what happened here?"

"Well, officers... let me start off by saying, that snow leopard you see over there attempted to kill my Son here, And also managed to hurt me in the process as you can see by the knife that is still stuck in my shoulder." Dad even turned slightly to show them. I knew Dad was trying to be strong by wincing in front them... but I could tell that he was in great pain as he kept pressure on his shoulder.

Officer Phillips quickly turned towards his other colleagues who arrived in the other car. One being a Cheetah and the other a Lioness, "Arrest, and restrain the suspect, please officers... He has got some serious explaining to do." Then the Officer turned back to look at my Dad, "Ok, Sir..."

"Owen..." Dad basically interrupted him while raising his free hand slightly to stop the officer.

"Okay, Owen. If I may speak to your Son alone, I would like to hear his side of the story first. Officer Haywood will call for an ambulance to have your shoulder taken care of. Please wait with him."

All eyes then went to me, including Dads. And even though I was still a little frightened from what he became and I witnessed, I still told him that I would be ok. He, on the other hand, He simply gave me a reassuring smile, and then told me to be honest and to tell them everything that happened... Being honest is exactly what I had in mind because he hurt Dad... and he also wanted too... to hurt me.

Dad also saved me and I am so thankful to him so that bastard is going to cop both barrels of justice.

I followed Officer Phillip's from that point on, and he simply escorted me over to where his squad car was located near the end of the driveway. It was quiet and away from all the noise. He then took out a notepad and pen from his front shirt pocket, "Okay... can I start with your name please?"

"Max Whittwer, with two t's in my surname."

"Whittwer... Family Name?" he curiously asked, while scribbling some notes down in front of me.

"Yes, I'm adopted. That's Owen, my Dad. My Mum Nora and Brother Evan are inside the house if you need to speak to the rest of my adoptive family, for whatever reason."

I think he noticed that I had attitude, because he looked up. "We shouldn't need to tonight Max, but thank you for that information. Sigh... So, are you really ok to tell me what happened here tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm fine to talk about it. But we will need to start at the beginning though, before tonight."

"Every bit of information you can tell us, Max will help in our investigation. So please, take your time and think very carefully, even the most minor detail could be something we can add to the report."

The officer asked for details. So, I obliged and began at the very beginning just for him... and I started by explaining how I have been flying all around the country working. And then how I managed to get an early flight back. What interested the officer most at that point, was what I did for work...

I then went into detail about the surprise I had planned for Julian and then finally told him about the time I got home... I didn't even bother to try and leave out the details of them both being fast asleep and tied together in the bed when I found them. "So what happen after you found him?"

When the officer asked me that particular question, two things had happened. The first was that the paramedics had arrived and one of them was with Dad... and the other was I could finally relax... The squad car Julian was locked up in was finally gone from my sight and out of any conceivable thought.

The hard bit was telling the officer about what happened next. Just talking about it again brought on some really strong emotions for me, but I told him, and I went into great detail about it with him.

I focused on the part about just grabbing my bag and leaving the house without a word... I reinforced that I did absolutely nothing wrong to provoke the situation. Then I told him about Evan and how my brother was the one who carried my bag into the house if he wanted to confirm that it was real.

And finally to cover all my bases... I then offered to hand my phone over and too give him permission to check and confirm my calls and messages before I drove over here to the family home.

Nothing was really left out on my part and Officer Phillips became a lot more sympathetic and also a lot more relaxed while I was talking to him, which I thought was rather strange. I could also feel how he felt throughout the time we talked as well. At first, he was really uptight, but as we spoke, I guess he became this very warm and much more welcoming officer in the end... which was still odd.

"I see... Is there anything else that you can recall before you got to your family's house?" I took a few minutes to think about it, while he kept noting stuff down... And then two things came to mind that I didn't actually tell him about. It wasn't intentional... It was just two things that slipped my mind.

"Actually yes there is. I heard his voice yell out "Wait, Max. I can explain" before I slammed the front door shut behind me. And the other was that I pulled into some random person's driveway to finally bawl my eyes out after I think it was maybe fifteen or so minutes of driving."

"Okay... So did he make any sort of contact with you before appearing at your door tonight?"

"No." I said while shaking my head a little, "I haven't heard a thing from him until tonight."

"Ok then. I think that's more than enough to cover the beginning part of my report Max, so I'll stop it there for now... Now can you tell me what happened next, when he arrived at your parent's house?"

I started explaining the next part as he flipped over to a new page in front of me. I lost count a while ago on how many pages he had gone through already... But where I began for him was just after my shower and at the part of where I came downstairs. I also kept it kinda brief for him this time.

All I told him was how I was watching a movie for no longer then twentyish minutes when Julian was suddenly banging on the front door. He asked how I might have known that, so I told him about Dad and how he answered the door. Then I went on about the demands and threats, the parts where my Dad said no before I finally agreed to hear what Julian had to say with Dad watching from a distance.

"Was there anything specific you two talked about tonight that could explain his behaviour?"

"Well, it appears that he was jealous of the client I was working with. He believed that I was sleeping with him while I was flying around the country this past month."

"And were you? Sorry but I do need to ask the question for my report Max. And I will need you to be completely honest about it." Oh, boy did that open up some old wounds, but I had to answer him, so I told him the truth, then phished out Mike's details from my phone and handed them over to him.

"Okay, thanks for those details, Max. I will give him a call to confirm things."

"Hopefully you won't need to but you have his details in case. He is happily married and does have a wonderful loving wife. And from what I heard, she also has his puppies on the way. So, if you do plan to call him at some point, please take it from me when I tell you this, please do make sure to call him after 9 am or you will suffer her hormonal wrath. She can be quite mean if the stories are true."

He chuckled. "Thanks, I will keep that in mind for tomorrow. So what happened after your talk?"

"Well, it's all a bit of a blur from that point. Dad just appeared and knocked Julian to the ground then seeing the knife in my Dads shoulder and finally, Dad subdued him before you guys arrived. And now here we are talking to each other and you're taking my statement."

"That we are Max, and it certainly has been a long day for you. So we can leave it there for tonight. If we have any more questions to ask you, we will give you a call in the next few days okay?"

"Thanks, Officer..."

"Names Aiden, Max, You can call me Aiden..." he quickly said, before I could finish my sentence.

"Well then, it's very nice to meet you Aiden. Hope you have yourself a safe night."

"Likewise Max. You have yourself a wonderful night and I will go take your Dads statement now."

I said a last goodbye to him before I turned away, and then slowly headed back up to the house. Dad was still with the paramedics when I walked past. But he was now inside of the ambulance and there were now two of them working on him. I sighed as I kept walking and slowly returned my gaze to the cold concrete. I didn't feel alright inside myself and my ears fell flat as I approached the front door.

But after I walked back inside, I heard someone call my name... and only then looked up to find Mum and Evan. They made me stop... Both of them were standing in front of me, and I could only guess at that point. But the cold, stale look I had on my face must have said it all. "What the hell happen?"

Mum's voice was full of nothing but worry... so I told her "Dad can explain everything to you after he is all patched up by the paramedics, Mum. I'm going to bed. Good night."

"Wait? Patched up?" Mum had all but gasped in shock at that point.

"Yeah, you should go see him. Hopefully, it's not anything too serious." Mum didn't let me finish, she just bolted past me, and straight out the front door. The bigger shock was to hear the door slamming shut behind her. It was loud and I got a fright... and by that point, my heart started beating really fast in my chest. Everything just hit me all at once and the sudden shock of what happened,really set in.

"Max? You ok?" Evan asked out of concern. But he was a little late. My hands were already clenching at my chest as I looked to the floor and began taking deep breaths. I was in shock. Then he asked me if I was ok again, so I said "No..." while slowly shaking my head. "I think... I think I need to lie down."

"Come on then, I will help you to your room." Evan was quick to come to my side and to put his arm around me before we began to move. And with the way he held me, he would've felt me shaking...

I was a mess, even with Evan holding me close, supporting me and escorting me. And I was no better once I arrived at the door to my bedroom. I could barely feel anything. The cost had now really taken its toll on me, and my darkness was like this massive shadow that was literally looming over me.

Within the time of me being with Evan earlier, I went from being at peace, too angry and with really strong violent intentions... then finally coming down to as I am now... in absolute black anguish. And all I could do was ask to be left alone as he opened the door for me. I heard him say "Ok then" as he gently let me go. I just never said anything back, and he left me to continue on into my room alone.

I never looked back after I went inside either. I just kept quiet and simply closed the door behind me.

It was pitch black in my room except for the only light shining through the window. And it was a slow shaky walk over to the right side of my bed. I managed from the point Evan left me and I managed to get myself there with all the chaotic feelings swirling around inside... And finally, I managed to hop in and then to bury myself under the covers of my bed while I brought my head to rest on my pillow.

I honestly couldn't believe what had just happened, so many memories, so many flashes of that very moment and seeing the knife. Then Dad and all of those sounds he was making to go along with it.

Where's Mantra in all this? Like I said... it has its flaws, and it would be useless right now since I can't even suppress what I'm feeling. My life... Hell, even my Dad's life was almost snuffed out by a jealous psychotic snow leopard. So tell me... How on earth would you suppress something like that?

Then, the next question I was asking myself is what would've happened if I let my darkness come out to deal with Julian? He had a knife and my darkness can be unpredictable. Perhaps it would have just gone and snatched the knife and then murdered him out-right and in cold blood just to protect me.

What would've happened then? How the hell would I explain, that something inside of me defended me in self-defence to the police? I'd be in jail and my life effectively over. It's thoughts like these that make me cringe to what I could do to another person, and what makes me so afraid of myself.

Sometimes I still ask myself why me, why did I get hit with this dark curse. Why can't I control it?

I'm emphasizing the "if" part in controlling my darkness. We are after all assuming that I always have control of it, and that is also assuming that I'm using Mantra to control everything effectively. That is one of the biggest flaws to Mantra. It works for me... But, it takes a massive amount of concentration to keep everything stable... and yet, a simple slip puts more strain in spots where it is not needed.

Stacking on top of that is what I feel from other people because of my gifts. Like Dad and him having the feeling of death incarnate. He was literally hollow, cold, and of the black abyss. I could go on and on in detail. But it doesn't make any sense in the slightest. Dad taught me this technique to suppress my own self... and yet... What the hell was that coming off him, from him? That wasn't normal...

There is no way that was Dad... or was it? Could Dad be like me in some small way? He can't be...

I was already beginning to weep and sniffle after I pulled the covers up. And just thinking about it for that brief time... it just fuelled that pit of despair. It was all too much for me. My tears, although they were gentle, they were already starting to run down the side of my muzzle and onto my pillow.

Want to know another flaw about Mantra? Depression... If it hits me, it hits me like a tonne of bricks and things start to go horribly wrong, like how this small part of me wishes that I should just die.

At first, it's small in the way it affects me. But as I sink further into despair my will gets chipped away at slowly. Then my emotions become colder, and I begin to distance myself from everyone. Things at that point become unstable... and because I keep concentrating on suppressing my emotion's as one pillar after the next falls over, it reinforces my state and makes it harder for me to snap out of it.

The blackened abyss is not a nice place to be. I know, because I've been there a few times. The worst part and something I found strange, is that my gifts start to focus on those around me, mostly on the ones in pain and or are currently suffering... and then it just spirals downhill from there.

The only way too... I guess you could say snap me out of it, is to provoke my darkness.

"Max? Can we talk about tonight?" I know I closed that door. I was sure I did... and absolutely certain beyond a doubt that I did... So when did he? Then I suddenly noticed the room was brighter from the light shining through from the hallway lights. Why now? Was he waiting this whole time? How long?

So many questions I could have asked, but I only wanted one thing. "Sniff... Sniff... No! Please, just go away and leave me alone Evan. I just want to be left alone... sniff."

"No, Max. You were there for me once, so let me help you now."

"No... sniff. This isn't something I want to deal with right now. Please just go away... s_niff_." I knew my words fell on deaf ear once my room fell into darkness again, because I heard him close my door.

Everything about me was divided, and called out for something in some way... I wanted a moment of silence and some time alone. So why was I dismissing him so easily, and why was a part of me calling out for someone? The feelings were all there... but I couldn't, I didn't want to believe that they were even real, to begin with. And for some unknown reason, I just wanted someone to hold me. I longed for it somehow. I wanted someone to hold me, and to take me away from all of this madness.

Maybe... maybe Evan being here wasn't so bad. Perhaps... perhaps he could be that person...

I knew Evan was within the darkness of my room... I could hear him just behind me at first. But then I felt him slowly crawling onto my bed. My back was still facing him when he came to be within inches of me. And before I knew it, I felt him gently place a hand onto my right shoulder and try. He tried to pull at my shoulder, and tried to get me to turn me over to face him... but he couldn't and he failed.

It all just happened out of reflex on my part... I shrugged him off. "Don't Evan. Please... sniff."

"Look at me, Max."

"...why?" I asked through my sniffles.

"Because I want to see your face as I talk to you, that's why." He tried to turn me over again and all I did was, shrug him off again. "No matter how much you want it, I'm staying here Max, and I will stay right here until you face me." The _sigh_that I let out afterwards, that was the sound of my defeat.

Evan was not going anywhere and he had simply won. And he actually got me to slowly roll over and face him. The worst part was to catch his eyes almost instantaneously in the moonlight, and all I saw in them was nothing but pain. Although it was understandable... it was still pain none the less, Pain I could've only assumed was from his learning of Dad, and not giving him answers was the motivator.

"So_..._ here I am, s_niff._" I honestly couldn't think of anything else to say to him... since he did force me to turn over and look at him, but it was also nice to have a friendly and familiar person to talk to.

The surprise that I was not expecting, was for him to place his soft padded hand on to the side of my face and then to start wiping away my tears. "Listen... it's not your fault ok? How were you supposed to know he was a lunatic underneath all of that fur? Dad might have only suffered a minor injury, but he also saved your life, whilst delivering a bit of a life taking blow to Julian. And now after that stupid stunt of his, he is going away for life and you will never have to see him ever again."

"I know Evan. I felt his life slipping away from him..." I basically looked and turned away from Evan at that point and I tried my best to hide my despair of thinking about what I saw. I honestly didn't want to tell him anything more... which somehow ended up with me looking back from the sudden nearby movement going on. My actions... somehow, they ended being an open invitation for him to join me under the covers of my warm blanket... and that is exactly what he did without even saying a word.

Was he smiling? No... He still had that same painful look in his eyes and it was enough for me to look down and away again. I wasn't looking away for very long... because Evan gently reached under, and then slowly brought my muzzle to look back at him again. "What do you mean slipping away?"

Even in this light, I could still see that he was in pain. But now he was also determined to get answers about what happened outside from me. And from the way he spoke just now, it also seems that Dad hasn't told the police everything, or even Mum for that matter... which must be why he came to me.

"Please Max, Tell me what happen? Mum went to the hospital with Dad. So you don't need to worry about her barging in and interrupting us." I almost caved in right there, but I felt very grey inside and just didn't know what I should tell him or where to even begin. Everything was swirling around inside of me, and the way he was also looking at me didn't help in the slightest. "Please Max? Talk to me."

Where do I even begin? How do I even tell him? Can I tell him? Should I tell him? But what do I say..?

At that moment, I sighed in defeat and finally opened up. I never started in the middle or even at the very end of what happened... I decided to start with, "Dad... he was going to kill him, Evan." I saw the sudden change in his expression... But before he got the chance to say anything at all, I opted to start explaining in the end and to finally tell him what happen... minus a few specific details of course.

I have no idea how long I spoke to him for... but I finally went silent just as my phone started beeping next to me. So I gave him a few moments to process everything I said as I checked on it. I didn't even realise my phone was next to me, nor could I even remember placing it down on the nightstand next to me in the first place. That shock alone was just another realisation of how tired I really was.

But when I saw how my phone showed low battery on the screen, I also decided that it was time for bed for me. The deep yawn that followed right after I put my phone back down... it was just another sign that it was time. Evan on the other hand never stopped me once I decided to get up.

Although he was still lying down next to me, he just let me go and I slowly got up and then sat on the edge of my bed in nothing but relative silence. I knew he was still there watching me. And yet he still kept quiet once I started to take my shirt off before I eventually moved onto taking my shorts off.

What I never noticed until I returned and was getting back into bed, Evan had somehow disappeared in that time. And when I found him again... he was standing at the other side of my bed with his back turned to me... and he too was also taking off his clothes... I wasn't surprised at all that he wanted to stay with me, to be honest. He might not have said it but I knew that he too was scared for Dad like I was... and still, I still welcomed him back into my bed without even needing to say a word to him.

My gesture was simple... just lifting the blanket up was enough for him to come back in. I didn't care that he was now completely naked. I gave up caring for anything by that point. I just got to a point in my mind where I wanted to go to sleep and be comfortable. Evan even told me that he was going to keep me safe as I turned onto my side and finally let him wrap his arms around me from behind.

I know that Evan means well, but I didn't want to talk anymore... What I wanted in the very end was to cuddle and be warm, to have a long sleep, and to have someone I could finally talk to about what was going on with me. And hopefully to have them tell me why I was the way I am. Surely among all of the people and furs in the world, there must be someone... just one single person who can help.

The last thing I felt was this gentle kiss on the back of my head before I finally closed my eyes. It was from Evan. And with it, I slowly drifted off to sleep with him holding me close and in his safe arms...

When I awoke the next day and slowly opened my eyes, I found that it was afternoon... My blind was the key to that revelation. It was still open and I could just see the coming orange glow in the sky.

The bigger surprise was to find Evan. He was still in my bed, and his arms were still securely wrapped around me. It felt a little strange to find him with me and to also be quietly snoring away. Honestly, I would have thought he would've already been awake by now. But then I noticed a piece of paper on my nightstand, and my phone had also been moved and was now suddenly sitting on top of it.

So I reached over, moved my phone out of the way first, and then picked it up and brought it back to be a lot closer to me so I could read it... It said, "Your Father is fine and sleeping. I've gone to work for a few hours and should be back around 3 pm. Love you... Mum."

Yawn... "What's it say?" I suddenly heard sluggishly come from behind me. My movement must have woken him up and to answer his question quicker, I just passed the note over, waited for him to take it from me, then told him to have a read of it as I started to slowly make my way out of bed.

There's nothing better than a nice long stretch and a big yawn after getting out of bed. I slept so well in the company of Evan. And it was amazing that I didn't even notice that my still half-asleep brother was just now getting himself out of bed... well, not until after I turned around and saw him.

He had just rolled over to the side as I was just starting to put my shirt and shorts back on. But then I saw him suddenly stop and glance over to something small and white on my other nightstand...

It looked like another piece of paper, and my suspicion was confirmed when he picked it up and then started to read it. "What's that Evan?" I probably shouldn't have, but I asked out of pure curiosity.

"I'll read it out." he managed to say through another yawn. "Evan... Your father and I are asking you to please leave your brother alone. He's been through enough, and we will all sit down to talk about what happened when Dad is awake."

"Bit late for that now huh? Since you know... we've already talked about it." Evan let out this chuckle as he slowly stood up and put the note back down onto my nightstand at the same time. He sounded a lot much better. And by the looks of things, he is also feeling much better... since you know, getting dressed with a morning wood, it isn't exactly an easy task for some, especially for him.

I, on the other hand, slept really well but I still felt rather grey on the inside about everything. Almost like I was still stuck on if I should be angry or upset. Then again, I guess I'm just emotionally drained.

For the most part... it was rather funny to watch my naked brother get himself dressed in front of me that whole time. His shirt was the first thing that he decided to put on, and somehow he managed to put that on backwards... until I mentioned something, obviously. Yeah, he can be a bit of a goofball at times, but he didn't seem to have a care in the world, even with how cute he was.

Then he moved onto his underwear and shorts. The fact it took him those few extra minutes to finish fixing his pants up was the main highlight for me. Ok, yes... I was looking at that. And it wasn't like he actually cared that I was any way... Hell, he was just sleeping with me completely naked.

In the end... it all came down to me waiting for him. And once he was ready and finally organised, he decided that we should go and have some food together... My brother kinda took charge of me from that point, and my audible rumbling stomach was just another reason for him to do so. Although we both knew it was basically afternoon, he still wanted to have breakfast with me, and not lunch.

I honestly did not care at all. I love Evan, and the fact he knew where we both needed to go first, was just as amazing. He even came to my side and basically escorted me out of my room and then quietly down the hallway, then finally into where we needed to go, our first stop... the almighty bathroom.

That whole time, he was so gentle with me and I basically set the pace for both of us until we arrived at the threshold together. I was the first to go inside, only because he knew how much I was wanting to wash my face because of last nights madness. So, he left me to do that on my own. I also had a bit of morning breath, so I wanted to brush my teeth while he went off to do his own thing nearby.

It took time... But guess what I forgot after drying off my face... my toothbrush. Evan... dependable as always, let me use his. And no wonder his teeth are so white after I used it, this brush was like a wire brush from the hardware store, and even my teeth came up so much better than before. The biggest surprise was to learn about it being brand-new after we swapped places and while I used the toilet.

Yes... just like him, I did the same thing and went for a wee while he was nearby brushing his teeth.

Now when I returned a short moment later and started to wash my hands next to him, Evan just had this stupid smirk on his face as he kept on brushing away. Why he was like the way he was, I have no idea. But I decided that I would take my time and do a few extra things, just until he was finished.

Somehow after a few minutes... our positions had reversed. What was once, me waiting for him then became him waiting for me to finishing up with what I was doing. So what on earth was I doing that I was now holding him up? Well, I was basically just staring into the mirror that whole entire time.

Why? I actually have no idea about that part either. I guess it's just been a while and I haven't really been through something like what happened last night in a long time. And I guess I was also curious to know if there were any physical signs of me being somewhat different from the ordeal.

My darkness... it changes me, and there is a very distinct sign of when it is really affecting me.

Evan, on the other hand, cited that I was taking way too long. So he just grabbed my arm then began to drag me off to the kitchen with him. He was also apparently hungry as well and he didn't want me to sink into a deep-dark depression from the events of last night, so he forced me to move with him.

It was also good of him to take charge over me because I certainly didn't want to go there.

Now, I wouldn't say we were naughty puppies when we were younger. But we did manage to master a very special secret, and it's something only known to us children... the special art of sneaking down stairs... You know, so we could watch cartoons in the very early hours of the mornings before school.

Don't even ask what Mum and Dad did for Christmas... Anyways... so, Evan and I were like walking on clouds as we headed downstairs. Our puppy training served us very well the whole way, and we both managed to walk all the way into the kitchen without a single sound from the floorboards.

Until we both suddenly heard, "Max? Is that you?" come from somewhere inside of the living room.

Impossible was the very first thought that ran through my mind, and we both knew it. And the shock of the voice had me and Evan looking at each other rather quickly, especially now that we were both standing at the kitchen counter. "That was Dad?" I all but whispered to him. Confused as he was just like me, he also just nodded in agreement afterwards."I thought he was sleeping..?"

"That's what the note from Mum said didn't it?" he whispered back.

"Max please come and talk with me if your there." Then we suddenly hear growling. "No Max, please don't be afraid... I won't... ah... No... ugh... I'm not... No..."

That's a... "He's having a nightmare, Evan" I didn't wait. I just grabbed a hold and started to drag him with me to the living room in a real hurry. All it took was a tug of his shirt, and he was quick to follow me. We ran from there... and then came to find Dad sleeping in one of the recliners with his feet up.

The biggest shock was to see him as he was. Our Dad with no shirt on... bandaged up and with a sling to hold up his left arm up. We were now both witnesses to the damage Julian had caused him.

He was fidgeting, growling and groaning in his deep sleep. "No Julian, you won't harm him." Then we both saw his left arm suddenly starting to rise. "Quick, Evan. We need to wake him up, Right Now!"

My brother was way ahead of me... He suddenly dashed forward, grasped Dad and his arm, and tried his best to hold him and stop his arm from moving. I was only seconds behind him. Both of my hands went directly to the front of his chest. And at first I tried shaking him, but there was no response...

Then Evan devised a faster solution as we swapped places and I held him down. His method took me by complete surprise when I saw him slap Dad across the face. And let me tell you what, not only did it work and was such a good idea, but I got backhanded across the face with his right arm and ended up on the floor with a loud yelp and a loud thump... "Easy! Dad, Easy... You are having a Nightmare!"

I was wincing after he hit me and was quick to tend to my maw while Evan kept shouting at him. Dad had hit me so hard... and I guess you could say it was out of reflex, maybe even fright, that there was a taste of some blood from the strike. I knew it was a total accident, so I didn't hold it against him.

But then Dad suddenly froze when he recognised who was holding him. "E... Evan?" He sounded very confused to what was going on after he spoke, and then he suddenly set his sights on me. "Max..?" It was so sudden when he saw me. His eyes, I suddenly saw the horror in his eyes. Almost like, he knew exactly what he had done to me... and the fact I was still holding my maw was the clear giveaway.

At that moment, I quickly got up and rushed over him. "Dad, I'm fine okay... It was just an accident."

Even though my maw hurt like hell, I tried my best to reassure him that I was fine... and I tried to also give him a bit of a reassuring smile at the same time. Not exactly my best of ideas, but I managed...

Out of everything to happen... the bigger shock was from Dad, and how he then reached out and ran his right hand slowly over my head and down the back of my neck as he started to smile... He literally gave me the only thing he could have done in his current state... and one of the things he loved to do when I was a puppy. Dad gave me a gentle, but loving pat on the head as he said how sorry he was.

His gaze then went back to my brother. Mine also followed his and went directly to Evan as well. But for some strange reason, Dad's right hand never left from petting the back of my head either.

"E...Evan..? Would you mind giving me and your brother some time to talk alone, please?"

"Sure Dad. I should probably put my phone on charge anyway. I'll be back in a little while I suppose."

I didn't really get why he asked, nor did I understand why Evan took a few small steps back. But I also felt that food could wait for now and it would be a nice time to have a talk with Dad. My brother was in a sense like me, the both of us wanted to know how Dad was doing, and I also had this feeling that Dad in his own way... he wanted to know how I was doing after last night's incident...

After Evan had wandered off and left us both in relative peace, I guess I was the first to, but we both basically looked back to each other as Dad gave me another pat. "Hey. Why don't you take a seat on the couch now Son? You look to be rather uncomfortable kneeling down like that." Thank god...

He didn't need to tell me a second time once I nodded and then slowly got back to my feet. Kneeling down for all that time certainly made my knees quite sore. And sure enough, I never had a chance to speak once I sat down nice and close to him because he was much quicker to ask how I was feeling.

Not like I wasn't expecting him to ask to be honest... he is Dad after all, and surprisingly enough, I felt a little better for some strange reason. So I made it short and simple and told him that I was fine.

"Max. I want you to be honest with me okay? How are you feeling, really? Because your eyes are red right now Son, and now that I am seeing them right now is why I asked Evan to leave you alone."

It was a little hard to read his face, but my guess to that was because he was heavily medicated. So I assumed that he was being very serious with me... and that my darkness had now indeed, presented itself without me even noticing. Then again, He did hit me after all and that is enough to trigger it.

But I had to be honest with Dad, so I told him. "I don't know Dad. I don't know what I'm feeling right now, except for dark shades of grey and confusion. I almost lost you... my darkness wanted to take a piece out of Julian last night. I'm scared. I could have murdered him, Dad. I was so close... sigh."

"Keep going, Son, just say whatever you need to ok. But let me tell you something first. I knew when I looked back and told you not to worry, I knew I had made a mistake and had to act. I saw your eyes change, and it was then that I knew I had to do something for you... I couldn't watch you lose control and do something you might live to regret. Hell, even I was close to breaking the little shits neck."

It was so hard to watch Dad after he spoke to me for that brief time. Just to see him move and wince at the same time was painful enough.It felt like his pain... that all of it was my fault... that I caused it.

"But in that split second, I had to ask myself a question... I had to look deep within myself, and really ask if I could leave my family and know that you would all be safe in the future... And honestly Son, I couldn't answer it. But I found the power to stop myself from going through with it. You... Evan, and Mum... you are all my power and my anchors. Perhaps it's time you try to make one of your own."

"I thought Julian was that anchor Dad. I was happy with him... Well, at least I think I was happy with him. My job has been great and Zoe has been good. I don't know where it all started to fall apart."

"Well, let me ask you a quick question first, and I want you to answer me honestly. How easy was it for you to stop loving him?" That question struck me hard and Dad brought up a really good point...

How easy was it indeed? I remember how my love turned to hate within mere hours. I'm not talking about ordinary hate where you say you hate someone verbally. No, I'm talking about hate on a scale where you want to rip someone apart because that is what I really wanted to do... Somewhere deep down, I wanted to rip him apart and bathe in his blood until my fur was permanently dyed from it.

So is that what love is? Did I really love him? Or was it lust... a mere fantasy life that I wanted to blind myself with? I honestly couldn't be sure, but Dad had asked me an interesting question. My eventual response to it became, "Hours Dad... in a matter of hours", and I sighed right at the end too.

"And when was the last time you cut yourself?"

"Dad...?" As confused as I became so suddenly, I just about gasped from his new question as well.

"I'm sorry... It's just that when I was in the ambulance with the paramedics, I got very worried when I saw the way you were walking up to the house. And so did Mum. She mentioned the way you looked at her when you came back inside and both of us weren't sure what you might do. I know it has been years since those dark times, but I had to ask okay... for my own piece of mind."

"Dad... I made a promise to both of you a long time ago. I promised that if things ever got so bad that I had to resort to such measures, that I would tell you. Wasn't that the whole reason why you taught me Mantra in the first place, too give me another way to deal with my depression?"

"It was... but I know you, Max. And as you've grown up I've come to learn that you always have some sort of backup plan hidden away... a last resort up your sleeve should you need to use it."

"Can we not talk about this, please? I really don't want a trip down memory lane, not now..."

"I'm sorry, I really am. It's just been a long time since I've seen you in so much pain. I just..."

"Dad... Stop, please... no more."

"Okay, fine, I'll stop. But you know, perhaps you should just stay here and chill out for a while to take your mind off things. Or you could also take a long holiday somewhere. Or, what about helping Mum with the cooking some time? You loved to learn about new recipes and what tasted nice..."

Dad had basically started to babble a little by that point. "Speaking of going somewhere, I have to fly out on Sunday for work. So I think I will do just that and stay here, and detach myself from the world until then. It will give me some time to think about things and find myself again. I also might do what you suggested Dad... you know, get back into cooking with Mum again." I had to change the subject.

"Oh, and Mum said you can only do that if you make that special coffee cake first." Okay... So is it his idea, or Mum's grand idea for me to get back into cooking again? Sigh... I guess I'll need to find out.

"You mean Rengarans Tiramisu? The cake I actually caught you red-handed first, then trying to sneak off with another piece of it after I had literally just put it away in the fridge?"

"Do you have any idea how delicious that cake tasted? I guess you never noticed, but Mum managed to still sneak off with a second piece that we both shared in bed after you went to sleep."

"So that's where that went. And here I always blamed Evan. Huh, imagine that..."

"Yep... Mum is the guilty one and she is probably going to growl me for telling you. Now you must be wondering how I am badly, so I'll tell you this... I'm going to be ok alright. The doctors don't believe I will have any permanent damage to my shoulder. The sling is to help me heal faster and to also keep my stitches from being ripped out. Oh, and Evan will be looking after me while Mum is working."

So, Evan will be looking after Dad huh... interesting. I guess that explains why he was in that happyish mood from earlier. I was going to ask Dad if Evan had known all along, but Dad was quicker to inform me about that particular part. The note they had left for my brother... it had a very small message for him at the very bottom. A personal message if you will, and all it said was that Dad was okay.

Why he had to look after him was simple enough reason... Evan works with Dad. They work together as a team after all... and finally, they are structural engineers that also privately work for the city.

I know... it shocked me too, especially when he suddenly dropped out of his degree and then picked up what Dad did for work with the new degree. My brother had all the great potentials of becoming an excellent paediatrics doctor, but the pressure he was under... it was far too insane, to begin with.

What do I do for work? Well, I work in IT as a special projects officer. My job is to basically make sure our client's hardware is up to date and their needs are being met before I go and visit them. I like the traveling part because I get to play around with the stuff, and teach the clients on how to use it. A lot of the time my work is pretty straightforward, but I do troubleshoot if I absolutely have to...

Want to know what's cool? My job has its perks, and business class travel is absolutely amazing.

"Max? I think you should go and get something to eat. Your tummy won't stop making noises."

Relief is what I felt at that very moment... His sudden words of food were like music to my ears. But I never just went off and left him there, I asked him if he needed anything before I went to get food.

His response, "Some help up would be great." That was all he wanted... some help getting to his feet before I headed off. And no matter what anyone says, I couldn't say no, especially to Dad. So I got to my feet first, had a quick stretch then went over to become that extra bit of strength he needed.

I wasn't just an extra arm for leverage... I then became his post to lean on for a moment as he got his balance back. But during that time, he told me about how they had to do surgery on his shoulder. So the medication they gave him was very strong and was mostly to blame for his poor balance.

But from there, I walked alongside him until we came to be near the stairwell. He said it was okay for me to go once we stopped and I let him go... so I left him there and then continued on my way to the kitchen without him. I may have left him, but I also heard him call for Evan as he slowly went up.

Food was calling me anyway, but my tummy was screaming at me. I hadn't eaten much at all. But my appetite wasn't the best when I looked in the fridge to find something to eat either. Last night took a great deal out of me. I wasn't settled, especially from all the crying. My emotions weren't settled. All I wanted to do was nibble. So the best thing to find in the fridge was my plate, too which I heated up while I made myself a drink. Then I quietly headed outside to eat what was left in relative peace.

Ah, the great outdoors... Although it was just the backyard of my parent's house, it was still outdoors with the afternoon sun and a slight breeze to complement the relaxing tone of the coming evening. I guess that's one of the other best things I like about Mum and Dad's house... the calming breeze.

For the most part, after I quietly went over and then sat down at the outdoor table I had that peace I wanted so badly. I could relax now, eat my food, and enjoy my drink without someone to stop me so suddenly. Even better.... there was nothing to stop me once I finally got started on my leftover meal.

So what changed? What brought about a change in that peace? Well, how do I put it in simple terms that you will understand? Hmm, I guess you could say I got really sad while I was enjoying my food.

Not bawling my eyes sad... but sad enough that tears were slowly seeping from my eyes. My sniffles were only light, but they were also present... Some people like say boys shouldn't cry. I, on the other hand, don't believe in those things. I believe that you have the right to cry if you're upset or sad and that no one has the right to tell you or anyone else what you can and can't do in such a moment.

For me, I was sad about how I was the one who caused all this... Dad may have told me not to blame myself for what had transpired last night, but he is unfortunately wrong. I do blame myself... I blame myself for not trying something to prevent it. Professional help was always an option that I could've looked at. Still, I guess it doesn't matter anymore... he's gone from my life and I'm now alone again.

Sigh... Tomorrow will be a new day like the next day that comes after that. Time will always continue to move on like it always has... forward... and then finally onto a brand new page of the future.

So I guess it all comes down to what to do next. I have options after all, and my darkness is attached to every one of them... _"Sweetie..? Are you okay?" _That sudden voice was completely unexpected.

The fact I also had my back turned, and was facing away from the back door when she gently rested her hands onto both of my shoulders was a bigger shock to me, and surprise. You just know what to do once the massaging starts... it's almost like instinct._You close your eyes and let out a deep _sigh.

I basically did all of that. I sighed, and deeply as Mum pressed on all of the right spots. I was so tense and stiff in my shoulders, and Mum basically helped me let all of that go. She knew exactly what she needed to do and how to help me. Then my thoughts travelled, and I began to think about how long she had been watching me... then to when she got home... but at the end that no longer mattered.

Mum just left me to enjoy the slow and very relaxing shoulder massage.

For minutes it went on... And when I finally opened my eyes again, Mum just placed a gentle kiss on my head. "When you're ready sweetie, Why not come back inside and go and get yourself ready for bed... I ordered pizza for everyone, so you can just relax and watch movies with us all night."

My perspective of time was just thrown out the window. I woke up late and she was now home. My plans for what I wanted to do with the time I had left today were also just thrown away. I wanted to do nothing more than to relax with my family and to finally put this whole nightmare behind me... It was a truth that was denied to me because of last night's events. So my plan became to do just that.

In the end, I relented and finished off my drink. Then I thanked Mum for all of her support as I finally went to stand up. The best thing... she just took my dishes away for me without me asking her too.

I never went back inside straight away... I instead hung back and left Mum to go on ahead of me. Not for any particular reason, and she did ask what I was up to in her own special motherly tone. But all I did was look to her and smile as I slowly went off in a completely different direction.

So where did I go? Well, to watch the last bit of the setting sun. Our parent's house doesn't have any trees in the backyard, but it does have nice green grass to stand on... so with where I was, I had front row seat of the magical view before it slowly and eventually disappeared behind the earth...

Knowing the time didn't really bother me by that point... I was in a safe place, with family, and it was the place I wanted to stay at for a while. But I needed to find my feet... and hopefully myself again.

My plan... Yeah, I actually had what you would call a life plan. Well, that's now gone. Anchors are the things I needed now. Dad suggested that I should make one to ground myself... So maybe I should do all that work and make one. I guess the only problem is... how do I make one that is very strong? Dad might be able to help me... but for now, I think I'll just take things slow and focus on getting over this.

Flying out isn't far away and it will be great to get back to work. So I think I will just relax for now and enjoy the rest of my Wednesday evening. I do have those extra days off from getting home early, so I might as well take full advantage of my extra time off. And Zoe, she can wait one more day... or two.

The rest of the evening started off quite well after I headed back inside. I took Mum's advice to heart and quietly went upstairs to have a shower and get myself ready for bed. Evan even joined me in the shower again and helped with washing my fur. I honestly couldn't say no to him, and he also told me that he didn't want me to be left to go through this alone while we were showing together.

My brother was just full of surprises and he was also nice enough to let me know about the shopping trip Mum had planned for tomorrow. He was going to come if I wanted him to, and he left it all up to me, and how I felt. Biggest problem was I couldn't decide on what to do. So I instead left it up to him to decide on whether he wanted to come or not... either way, I was happy to go with the flow.

Mood-wise, I guess I was happy enough. But I certainly felt very grey. Evan knew I wasn't completely okay on the inside, but he still tried to help make me feel better in his own special ways.

After our showers, we split off and went our own separate ways. I headed off downstairs while Evan went into his bedroom to do a few things he needed to do before he could come downstairs. I never asked, but a few things did come to mind... and no, none of those things were sexual.

The house was rather quiet when I came downstairs. I could hear Mum and Dad chatting away in the kitchen as I was heading towards their general direction. But the whole house felt a lot colder than it was only minute's ago. It was so strange, that I just chose to ignore it once I walked into the kitchen.

Dad looked so much better... and he was the first to say a warming hello to me as I wandered over to the fridge to start making myself a drink. I wasn't rude... I greeted him back, warmly and then did the same with Mum. I also thanked her for helping me outside. Not only did she smile and nod, but then Dad asked if everything was okay with me, then wondered if we needed to have a private talk.

The good thing about Mum is the way she works at times, and she always seems to know what to do when it comes to Dad. How I know this is because she leaned over and then gave Dad this gentle kiss on his cheek to make him stop asking. Then she said, "I'll tell you in a little bit dear, just be patient."

Milk was my choice of drink to make again. And as I went to get a glass, Mum informed me that they were both going up for their showers shortly and pizza should be here around 8.30pm. I had no idea on where the time went or how long that was away... until I saw the clock then I knew. I had been in the shower for at least twenty or so minutes at a rough guess, and it was now 6.42pm.

Four hours had just disappeared... and if remember correctly, it was around 1 pm when I woke up.

The timing was actually quite good too. I had plenty of time to lazy about on the couch and watch TV for a while before dinner. By the time I finished warming my drink up and started to head over to the living room to relax, Mum and Dad had already wandered off together for their showers. I knew Dad was concerned about me, but I also knew that Mum would take care of him... her way.

Both of them also made sure to let me know how much they loved me before they went. That's one of the best things I love about my parents... they don't keep secrets from each other. So, I also knew it wouldn't be long before Dad learnt about what happened outside with me.

What surprised me the most was Dad, and his attitude towards me... he didn't get very emotional at all when we were all just talking. I guess it was the medication they had him on and I guess that may also explain why Mum is in charge of him when she is home. Still... I love them both very much.

After all that I had gone through to get to this point, it was so good to finally sit down... and the best bit was how I had the whole couch to myself. I even thought to bring the remote over with me. And then as I took a small sip from my drink, I also turned on the TV at the same time.

The last thing I needed to do was adjust the pillows a little after I found something to watch, and put the remote down. But other than that... I was alone and now free from that point forward, to quietly relax in relative peace, to leave my delicious drink in a safe place and too put my feet up.

Everything was going so well for me. I was calm, relaxed and enjoying the nature documentary that I found and was currently watching... until Evan of all people came along and disrupted that peace. He all but ordered me up from the couch in his own special brotherly way. His reason to why he wanted me to get up so badly was actually quite simple... he wanted to get in behind me and cuddle.

So did I? Nope, I just stayed exactly where I was and refused to move for him. That was a big mistake on my part and I felt the weight of my choice come down on top of me almost instantly afterwards. I honestly didn't think he would go so far but Evan, he all but pounced on top of me. It wasn't to crush me. But to force his way in behind me, and it took him only seconds to get there and to also push me right off the couch at the exact same time with his strength.

A big puppy is what he was... And he was so lucky that I managed to brace myself and he didn't hurt me because boy, would he have copped it from me afterwards if he did. I knew Evan was just having fun, so I didn't make a big deal out of it as I got back on my feet... But then I wasn't expecting him to also have this stupid looking smirk on his face after I turned around and saw him either.

And it only got bigger when he opened up his arms so I could come back and snuggle in with him...

My brother is such a goofball... cute without his shirt on, but still a big goofball... So not only did I get myself comfortable with him again, but he made me miss out on a good portion of the nature show I was watching. Oh... did I also forget to mention how good his fur felt? Yeah, it's so soft and warm...

I honestly don't know how long I was laying there and watching TV with Evan. What I do know is that at some point, I stopped paying attention to everything that was going on around me, and drifted off into a very deep and very quiet relaxing sleep... and somehow, I still remember that dream. And I still remember all the sounds I heard around me before it all faded into blackness.

For more than a moment, I felt what it was like to have peace and to be back to my normal self.

I knew I was in a dream rather quickly... It was a day that I remember all too well, and I dreamt about this one particular day where I was very young and kicking the ball around at the park with Evan.

It was in the early afternoon. The grass was green, the sky was blue and we were both having fun. It got so much better when Dad joined in and Mum continued to watch on from under the shade. Dad became the keeper and our task was to get that soccer ball past him, as a team. I remember how he let the first few go by him without trying, but then he made it more challenging for us puppies.

We tried and we lost. We tried again and we scored... we didn't let up. And that is what we both did over and over again. We kept trying different tactics to get past the all mighty and powerful Dad.

I went for the pass and kicked the ball to Evan, then left him to go for the shot as I slowed down and finally came to stop. I was puffed and panting towards the very end and Dad really made us work for those final goals. Then, I suddenly noticed something standing near a tree off to the right side of the park, near the grassed playground... and who or whatever it was, it caught my attention real fast.

From a distance, I could make out it was a black figure and it was watching us from the tree line. But for some strange reason, the figure really intrigued me. It looked like nothing I had ever seen before from this distance. And it was hard, but I was able to make some rough details about this person.

Their fur was pitch black, and they had white lines and shapes all over there body. I knew staring was also rude, but I did and could do nothing else but stare at the figure and for the longest of times. This figure looked so cool and the lines were even glowing... It was so cool in fact... that I suddenly started to take slow, but small puppy steps towards the figure for some unknown reason.

The sensation I felt, it was quite hard to describe what it was... But something about the figure called out for me to come closer, and I wasn't scared or afraid at all to do so.

The strangest part... I had only taken roughly seven small steps, and the figure was now right in front of me so suddenly. The tree and where I was standing, it would've been a good sixty or more meters apart from each other. And yet in seconds, the figure was almost looking down at me so suddenly.

What was happening didn't make any sense. I didn't remember any of this being in the dream. And I was quite certain that I was still dreaming as the figure finally came to be within inches of me. It was a wolf. A big black adult wolf with tribal markings all over his body... and he was also dressed in what appeared to be a sort of ceremonial attire, Mainly a long robe, some shorts, and strapped shoes.

Everything he wore had symbols stitched all over the fabric, and in a language, I have never seen, let alone read about before. His clothing wasn't what shocked me the most... it was the fact that he also had red eyes just like mine when I'm angry... and both of them were looking directly down at me.

"Max... It's time for you to remember me. So, Remember!" All I felt was his hand suddenly touch the top of my head, and then everything went white. I felt nothing, no pain... nothing... just white...

When I suddenly awoke, I woke up in a fright and almost went flying off the couch. "Easy Max, it was just a dream. You're okay." Evan? He was still holding onto me and tightly? But what, where? Huh?

The mass of confusion I went through was insane for those few moments. The dream felt so real in a rather strange sense of the word, and I could still feel the presence of his hand on top of my head... I even checked over my head to be sure, and to be certain it wasn't real for my own personal sanity.

The worst part was what I felt... I felt that some of the fur on my head had been pressed down and it even tingled from my own touch. It was all too real and that alone sent a cold shiver down my spine.

The shock of that made me start shaking and to question of how real it was. It was impossible. No, I am certain it is impossible to be physically touched by someone in a dream, or was it a dream? Then I realised Evan was asking what happened, and if I was okay as I tried my best to collect myself.

My state of mind went downhill from there. So much was going through my mind that I couldn't find an answer or even respond properly. It came on so fast... And then I finally panicked at the possibility of it all being true. Evan never stood a chance and I made him let me go, then just got up and ran for it out of the living room. I couldn't deal with it or understand it, so I just ran for it, away from Evan.

The kitchen was my first stop. And all I did was swipe the Vodka bottle from the liquor cabinet, then bolted out the back door and into the darkness of the night with the half-full bottle in hand.

It all became a blur from that point on... I remember that I somehow ended up by sitting on a chair in the dark near the fence line, but not where the actual chair came from... I do remember it being very comfy though, and I was able to look up to the sky. My mind, on the other hand, that was a different story altogether. It was completely shattered. Almost like taking a rock to glass, and became more so when I took my first one big mouthful from the open bottle I had in my hand.

Every part of me called out for only one particular thing, silence... and the very strong scented lemon flavoured alcohol was going to help me with achieving just that one particular thing.

I never stopped at just one mouthful... I had another right after and I sighed deeply as I felt the liquid traveling down my throat once again. The next mouthful was just as easy to go down right after.

As all things go, time just got away from me and my body began to feel like it was floating. The warm liquid was soothing and warming. I could feel it and the way it was traveling through every one of my veins, and working on every last one of my muscles... one at a time after my fifth mouthful.

I just wanted to forget everything by that point. What I saw, who spoke to me... everything. I did not want to know anymore. My only friend that spoke to me after the sixth was the night's sky. It all but told me to keep going, to keep drinking until I fell asleep. And just like a normal person would, I also toasted the starry night sky for its help, before going and taking my seventh mouthful...

Some like to say it's rude to interrupt someone when they're busy. So, how do you think I felt when I heard someone, when someone did actually start calling my name? Well for one, I didn't have a care in the world as I went for my eighth. "Sweetie, stop. I think you have had enough..." I didn't though. I kept going and going, drinking from the tip until the bottle was completely empty.

My eighth mouthful was my last very big mouthful... I all but downed the remaining amount of what was left for me. I sculled what was left... and then finished with a very big sigh as I let myself go, and stared up to the blackened sky. The bottle... I just left too fall out of my hand and on to the lawn.

I just did not care... I actually got to a point of not caring. And I was so buzzed, that I didn't care at all with what Mum even said to me in the first place. I guess all I cared about was forgetting...

So why did I feel otherwise? I wanted one thing, but my heart wanted another. I could feel it beating at a very calm pace when I thought about who the wolf was. But when I got angry and tried to forget everything by complete and utter force, it beat so much harder, that it actually made me stop trying.

Desire to know is what I believed to be going on. I had the desire to know... I wanted to know why he knew me. He called me by name... almost like we were familiars, like I knew him too. Those markings of his were not at all normal in any way, and nor was his attire. So who was he? Why was he there...

I had so many more questions I wanted to ask, but my desire to ask wasn't really there. In my heart, I felt that I just needed to wait and the answers would come to me... The dark night's sky kinda helped me come to that conclusion with a shooting star. A sign of good luck to some and a time to make the wish you most desired... and just like when I was a young puppy, I made a heartfelt wish in silence.

The night is such an amazing time. It's quiet and calm... And there's nothing else you can do, but look up into the blackness and wonder what else is there beyond our world. Is there something else..?

My attention for the sky became divided when I heard something hit the ground beside me at some point. And when I half looked over to see what was going on, I saw that Mum was now sitting down in a chair beside me. But that wasn't the shock for me... It was that she was now wearing a coat and taking a sip from a cup. And by the smell coming from that cup, she was drinking some lemon tea.

The weirdest thing was how I suddenly felt so humble. Although I didn't really care, I was calm in my mind and body... to which I could only guess the alcohol was responsible for my sudden state. Still, it was nice to see Mum and not Evan, or Dad. They can be a little full on with me sometimes...

"Sweetie, let me tell you something I hate. I hate that place you go to when you can't cope with your emotions anymore. As strong as you are, I really hate that no one can help you when you zone out. I remember when you were younger. All the times when you just fell into that pit of deep thought, no one was ever able to snap you out of it, and we were all left in suspense and forced to wait for you."

The second she said the word hate, she had one of my ears directed at her. Then as she kept talking to me that whole time, my head slowly became and ended up by being fully directed at her.

"So what happen, Sweetie? Why did you run out of the house? And before you say it was nothing to me, okay? Your brother has already told me that you woke up from a nightmare in private."

"That was all it was Mum... a very violent nightmare, and not something I want to talk about." I kept my response to her kinda brief... since there was nothing else I could really say, and I honestly didn't want to talk about what happened. I did, however, apologise to her for causing them all to worry.

Unfortunately, I didn't count on Mum reaching over and running her hand over my head. She all but gave me a gentle loving pat as she told me to be honest with her and not to shut her out anymore.

The thing about Mum, she is a lot like Dad. She has strong empathy for her children. Her desire to be there for me and to help me is what made it so hard for me to push her away at that moment. It in a sense was what made it easier for me to talk with her more than anyone else when I was younger.

I honestly didn't know where to begin as I kept looking at her. The alcohol was just freely running all through my body without any sort of resistance. My mind was calm, and I felt okay for some strange reason. Then again, Mum was also right about opening up. I haven't really talked about how I am for a long time since I moved in with Julian, so maybe this might be the best time. Hmm, I actually don't think I have spoken to her properly for a while... or like a son for way longer than that.

Sigh... It was just so long ago, that I don't really remember when I started keeping secrets. But those secrets are mine and being kept from them for the greater good. Like that wolf for example... I don't know who he is, but I plan to find out my own way... The question to ask did cross my mind and I did wonder if my parents might know him somehow, but I couldn't be absolutely sure.

It was also a question that would open the door to more questions. So, I thought it best to leave the asking them part alone anyway and to go about it myself, like I thought about doing originally.

For the most part, I was just happy to sit in my chair, and keep quiet for those few minutes. But then the bigger and more sudden problem became a rather sudden yawn that escaped from my maw... It also rudely happened right in front of Mum. "I'm sorry about that Mum... I didn't mean to do that."

"It's okay, sweetie. You drank quite a lot after all, and have had a tough few days. Perhaps we should head back inside, and join the rest of the family for movies and pizza. We can always talk about what really happen tomorrow if you want to. How does that sound?"

"I'm not sure what to tell you, Mum. It was just a very violent nightmare."

"Sweetie... Evan, he told me that you were fidgeting and also talking in your sleep. And I'm not going to push you to talk to me about it, okay, but we just worry about you, and so does Evan. We are very concerned about you. And Dad and I don't want to see you go down that dark path again. You mean so much to us, and if we can help you, we will do everything we can to do so, okay."

"I know Mum... But not everything can be fixed by simply talking about it. I just need time to process everything. I know you and Dad mean well... and I thank you for your support, but this is something I feel that I need to deal with alone for just a little while. Only for a little while, and I promise I will talk about it when I'm ready Mum. And perhaps going out tomorrow will help me clear my head..."

"Okay then. And I will do my best to keep your father under control and try to reassure him that you are ok. It was hard enough to keep him in the shower with me after I told him about what happened when I found you earlier. So hopefully I will be able to keep him off your back for a while as well..."

I didn't want to talk, but I thought I would ask anyway. "How is he doing anyway, Mum?"

"Shaken up might be the best words I'm looking for right now. But we can talk about all of that while we are out shopping tomorrow. Fresh air might do us some good. So come on, let's go and binge out on movies and pizza. Although it has been a while since it arrived, I will warm some up for us both."

She didn't need to tell me twice, and I didn't want to fall asleep outside. But once I was up, she then came to my side, helped me, and quietly escorted me. She also said that she would get the door.

I don't know how to say it in simple terms, but I love Mum so much. All the times she has been there for me when Dad couldn't be, words can't honestly describe of how much it meant to me. And I may not show it to many because of my past and Mantra, but I truly am grateful for her being here.

Although it was a slow and careful walk back to the back door in my inebriated state, Mum thought I was ok to go inside first. I was going to ask her why as we approached the back door, but she just did her motherly thing and rubbed her hand over my back as she gently ushered me inside. I had no real choice but to do what I was told, and she also mentioned that she would be right behind me.

Everything just hit me all at once after I stepped inside. The smell of food, the warmth of a home full of love and the sounds of the TV echoing out from the living room... All of it brought back a sensation in my heart that I felt I had lost while I was outside. I know it sounds very strange, but my depression and darkness can be very unpredictable and work in different ways when it comes to my nightmares.

The other thing that sounds very strange is my nightmares. Things just become really strange when I have been emotionally overwhelmed. Although I am in control right now, I still feel like I'm now only walking on a thin sheet of ice because of that nightmare. It shook me, and frightened me in so many different ways. My very core felt like it had also been shifted. Something just didn't feel right.

"Go on Sweetie. Go make yourself comfortable and I will bring you some food and a drink shortly." I didn't need any more encouragement to do what Mum said... all it took was for her to give me a kiss on the cheek afterwards and I was then wandering off on my own accord. I didn't want to dwell on it anymore. I didn't want to think about out it, or even talk about what happen... at least for now.

I never went straight into the living room. I went past it and headed upstairs for a few minutes, then came back down after I went to the bathroom and freshened myself up. I really needed it, and to be alone for a few minutes. So what was bothering me? Well, that wolf had marks identical to the ones on my forearms... and to see that very specific detail... it... it actually frightened me quite a lot.

Like I said, I have and I also hold onto my secrets. The worst part was how it left me with questions. I obviously had many, but why we had the same identical marks on our arms was in my top three. The story about where my marks came from is a long one. But let's just say... I don't remember all of it.

It happened a long time ago. And all I remember was getting attacked at school and was left with the marks. A symbol of sorts was branded onto my skin. And now the fur that grew back is those marks.

That might sound strange to think about, so let me try to explain a bit better. I heal very fast... It is as simple as that. And the burns to my skin healed, except the fur that grew back is white, not black. So the markings can be clearly seen as part of my fur every day. And they're sort of a part of me now.

The extra time I spent in the bathroom, it also gave me some time to take a long, hard look at myself in the mirror. I tried to remember anything I could about that Wolf... but nothing came to mind and I couldn't for the life of me remember a single detail about him, besides the nightmare. The memories of the nightmare never stopped running through my mind either, both before and after leaving.

All of it made no sense, to be honest. And I honestly didn't know what to do or where to even begin.

But when I came back downstairs, I found Evan waiting for me and also shirtless. I honestly wasn't at all surprised that he was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. He is my brother after all and the first thing I did was apologise to him for running off... Then all he did in return was do the big brother thing and wrap an arm around my waist. He told me it was ok as he slowly began to take me back to the living room with him. After everything, I just wanted to eat, to relax, and to finally cuddle...

Besides finding that the living room was rather quiet, some things had changed while I was upstairs.

I'm not talking about very big ones, of course, just a few small ones... like, how some of the furniture had been moved slightly. The recliners were the most obvious, and Dad also wasn't in his either. As I came to learn from Evan's help, he, in fact, was in the kitchen with Mum when we wandered past.

Oh, and both of the recliners were now touching each other. The couch on the other hand... that had been turned slightly, and a blanket was now on the arm. You could say it was positioned so we didn't need to turn our heads as much and it was perfectly set up for a long and very comfy movie night. All that was missing was snacks, warmth, family... and someone to hold me for the entire night.

I was ready to relax once I sat down. But Evan on the other hand... wasn't just yet. He led me over to the couch and told me to sit down for a moment and he would be right back. An apparent bathroom break was in order for him, and he also wondered if I wanted to take my shirt off. In a sense, and I'm not going to lie about this, but he kinda read my mind before he left... I was also ready for bed.

So while I was left to be alone and while he was gone, off it came without a second thought.

The Living room instantly felt a little colder then I remembered before I walked in... enough so, that I shivered the moment my shirt came off. But that didn't deter me though... I knew my brother wasn't going to be long, so I just sat there, folded my shirt, and then put it down on the coffee table in front of me while I quietly pondered with my thoughts of my own volition until his eventual return... To be honest, I don't think he was gone for long either, maybe only a few minutes... then he was back.

Although he had to fix up the pillows and bring the blanket over, it was pretty easy for me to get in a spot where I was comfortable and warm. His arms, on the other hand, they were straight around my waist in mere seconds, and he had me resting comfortably on his chest. It was nice, warm, and I was happy to be with Evan. The best part was being like this with him... It actually began to help me relax and to finally begin to forget about all of my problems.

Sure the alcohol was helping somewhat, but nothing compares to the love of being with your family.

Evan also knows me best of all, so having him hold me in my time of need was a major bonus...

It was also nice to cuddle with my brother... He even took the initiative and started up the small talk between us while we were waiting. I basically asked and I was given an answer. One of my questions was about Dad, and he told me that Dad was just getting his medication out of the way for the night and would be right back. He also mentioned about getting himself some more food afterwards.

Mum on the other was never going to leave me outside. She was going to stay with me all night and would not come back inside until I did... So, that whole time I was outside, both my brother and Dad had been just watching something random on TV, which actually kinda surprised me, to be honest.

Not only that, but Evan had no plans on leaving the couch. So I was free to fall asleep in his arms.

I really don't know when Mum and Dad exactly walked back in together, but both of them had these stupid looking grins on their faces when we saw them and they saw us. Although it would have been rather funny from their point of view with how we were. Two boys completely covered up with only their heads poking out from under the blanket... What's not so suspicious about that?

Evan, on the other hand, gave off a playful growl. I honestly did not care because both of our parents had brought back food and drinks. And getting a nice whiff of the mixed smells sent my appetite into overdrive after Mum had brought my plate over and sat it and my drink down on the coffee table.

So, how does one make his brother let go so one can eat? Well, that's rather easy. All you need to do is ask, and of course, say please. But was it really that easy? Nope... he held on tightly and then made a few demands. The first was for me to not go anywhere, and the second... to hand him a piece too.

An easy enough request, but we also had to deal with our parents as well. Both of them were just off to the side and looking at us. Not only that, but they were also giggling like little schoolyard puppies.

I knew all too well what my brother was up to... since he's done it and has always been doing it for as long as I can remember... Evan is just being my older, overprotective half-Akita brother and our Mum and Dad are finding it absolutely adorable that he is doing it.

Now the question becomes, Can I escape from him? Technically that would be a yes and a no answer question. If I do need to leave, then he will let me go. But, he could just wrap his legs around me and refuse. He is stronger and heavier than me, and could easily overpower and become a dead weight.

He's not invincible, however. He does have a few weaknesses and I can exploit a few of them. Two of them are technically personal areas and not to be touched for obvious reasons. The other two I can't even get close enough to because I'm on my back. But I'm more than willing to break those no-touch rules and grab onto his tail tightly, and then too finally squeeze it if he doesn't let me go.

Private areas are obviously the other no touch areas. But that is just being cruel, and I won't ever do something like that to him, especially him... because he is my brother and he is my family. I know he loves me very much, and I also know that if I bark and get angry at him, he will obey and let me go.

It also never stopped at our parents giggling at the two of us. Both of them also took the time to give me and him a gentle pat, and then a loving kiss on the head afterwards... They literally treated us like puppies and Dad got me good with his big, wet sloppy kiss. I swear I tried. And I knew he did it purely on purpose, but I couldn't resist the urge to look at him angrily... too which he kissed me on the head again, called me cute and then told me how much he loved me with another pat on the head.

Don't ask what I did next. Okay, fine... I'll tell you. I poked my tongue out at him, and it was the worst possible thing I could have done. Because Evan held onto me tightly and let Dad do it again. It was all in good fun. And thankfully, Mum never let Dad get the next one in and told him to stop because the fur in that particular spot he kept kissing was now drenched from all of his slobber. He was a bully...

But what happened afterwards, that was actually quite funny, to be honest. Dad got told off by Mum while I was in the middle fixing myself up. I heard and saw everything... She all but ordered him to go and sit down in the far end recliner, which he did, without uttering a single syllable back to her. Then he got told to stay put, and not move a single muscle until she returned.

It got even better..._The moment Mum walked away and was out of the living room and because Dad couldn't do anything to stop us from doing it... we started laughing at him. Well, Evan was mostly the one doing the evil laughing. I, on the other hand, was the one who was looking over at him with a big teeth showing smirk on my face. _I was pretty content in Mums punishment, but also her justice...

Until... "Oh come on boys leave your father alone. He doesn't need your torment." That voice was all it took for our fun to be over. All it took was for us to hear Mum and then for us to look back and see her walking towards us with two drinks in her hands. She didn't look mad. She actually looked happy as she went over to the recliner between us and Dad... What caught us both off guard was Mum and how she simply then gave Dad a loving kiss right after she sat down and made herself comfortable.

Our parents have never hidden or shied away from the fact that they kiss each other. Even when the both of us were just young puppies, they did it all the time and within reason. Oh, and they kissed us a lot as well. But that wasn't what caught us off guard. It wasn't even a problem to begin with. It was what happened after... and of all people, it was Dad... and his smug very-accomplished looking grin.

Then the second Mum had turned away and went to pick up her plate, there was Dad now looking at both of us with his stupid grin... but he was also now poking his tongue out at us. He just wouldn't let up and leave me or my brother alone, and he just wouldn't stop shit stirring the pair of us.

So how does one get Dad in trouble again? Well, that's easy... wait for Evan. I was basically too drunk to care about what was going on, but my wonderful brother knows how to get Mums attention fast.

Growling was all it took. Deep, loud and violent growling to get Mum to look to us rather quickly and ask what was wrong. The next thing was for him to point at Dad and to finally say what was wrong.

"Owen? If you are tormenting our children and I catch you, I will send you straight to bed... Alone."

"Aww... but... but I was only poking out my..."

I don't know what's funnier... the fact Dad tripped up, or Mum with what she said to him afterwards and what made Dad stop right in his tracks. Something about, "Your tongue is better suited for other things." was quietly mentioned. We all knew exactly what she meant, but it didn't stop me and Evan from bursting into laughter again once we saw Dad's ears fall flat.

Oh no, it didn't stop there. Mum then turned her attention to us and then we went silent. It was the look she now had on her face that simply and very quickly made us both go completely dead silent.

"If you two think it's_so funny_, Then ill March the both of you outside as you are right now, and have you both cleaning the barbeque plate with your tongues until I can see my face as a punishment."

Okay, I admit it... we read what she said to Dad completely wrong. Not only that... but the both of us were just badly scorned by Mum for our ability to get the wrong idea. And it also appears that Dad is still under her thumb about Evan and the cursed red lollies incident from yesterday. I honestly didn't know if she was mad at us or something else, but whatever it was, just suddenly changed and turned into this big smile. "Oh, look at you two... I'm joking... Of course, you can torment your father."

The first word that slipped out of Evan's mouth was "Huh?", and then he asked if it was a trick... I, on the other hand, didn't want to really talk, so I just left my brother to get the answers as I reached out for some food. I was so hungry, and the smell of BBQ lamb and bacon pizza was calling to me.

My first bite was nothing short of a miracle. The flavours and softness of the pizza base were almost like a perfect combination... and everything tasted like it was cooked to perfection. So, why did I say almost? Ok, how do I put this? He's my age, has a big nose, looks like Dad and has his arms wrapped around me, and also has that big nose of his slowly creeping closer and closer towards my food.

Yep, that's Evan... and he is sniffing at the piece of pizza I still have held up close to my mouth.

Honestly... I was left in a bit of a spot. And I could feel him snaking his way around the left side of my neck. He was trying to get closer, and also trying to let me know he was there watching. So, I just did the quickest and easiest option I could think of, I handed him mine, then got myself another piece.

Although I was eating, I still heard everything that was said the whole time. If it was to me, or being said to someone else nearby... that was an entirely different matter. But what I did learn was that it was all indeed a trick. A rather horrible one on that count, but a trick on us two none the less...

Mum was never angry at us... She, in fact, was happy to see us together as we were and apologised if we got the wrong idea. And I heard her confession on how much she missed seeing us like we were.

To be honest, I'm not sure if Mum understood why we were laughing. Yeah, I guess the dirty-minded thought was our main reason as to why we both were. But I do wonder if she really understood what she actually said to Dad and why it might've been funny. Hmm... maybe I'm just over thinking this...

Then again, it has been a very chaotic few days for all of us. We are all shaken up from the past day's events and unsure of the happiness of everyone here. I know for a fact that I'm still raw... and I know that I will need time to overcome everything I have been through. The worst part was how I honestly couldn't stop thinking about what happened to Dad... he looked so defenceless.

I know Dad told me not to blame myself for what happened, but that is quite easy for him to say. He wasn't the one who lived with Julian. I did. I lived with him. I got to know him, his sweetness, and his love. He was a special person to me and a big part of my life. So I can't... I can't, not_blame myself for this mess. No matter how I look at it, I was ultimately responsible. I should have seen the signs for all of this. _I could have put a stop to it... I could've... I could have done something... anything...

"Hey? You okay bro?" Whispering? Why is he whispering? It only took me moments... but I found out why he was so suddenly. I had zoned out again and I was also still holding onto a piece of pizza. Then it only got worse when I noticed something else that had also changed... There were now two people sitting down on the coffee table in front of me, and the living room lights were also still on.

"Sweetie..." The moment I felt her hand touch mine, nothing stopped my emotions from swelling up and for me to suddenly burst into tears in front of her. I couldn't stop and Mum wasted no time with lunging forward and wrapping her arms around me as I began to bawl my eyes out... Then the words just came pouring out my mouth, and all she did was pull me close and hold me as I finally started to say how sorry I was, and for causing everything while I closed my eyes.

I blamed myself, and I blamed myself badly for all the hurt that I caused. I even voiced it loudly when I suddenly felt someone rubbing their hand over my back... and also I knew it wasn't Mum doing it. It was the movement and extra weight that came to sit beside me that could have only explained it.

He never said anything... he was just Dad, and Nothing and no one stopped me from crying harder.

I don't know when it all stopped, I really don't. I don't even know what happened to my pizza or why Dad was sitting next to me, but things began to feel so much better for me and I really liked it... I had them both, and Evan holding me when I finally opened my eyes and was brought to only sniffles. The amount of love they have for me... nothing I could say would ever describe how much I love them.

Time... Out of everything in the whole world, time and love is what everyone gave me. They gave me time to process and as much time as I needed to calm down with the love and support of family. The pain of the memories was all too much for me, the shaking didn't help... and I was hurting all over.

Mum was the only one who spoke to me throughout the whole ordeal. And all she did was shush me and kept telling me that it was all going to be okay. I heard her every time... Every time she told me it was going to be okay, I listened to her and took everything to heart while Dad kept rubbing my back.

I was a mess... a shaking adult mess of fur and drying tears in Mums warm embrace.

It was all too much for me to handle on my own and everyone must have known that, especially with how I was still resting my head on Mums right shoulder. I was calm though, and breathing normally. I guess I was still a little sniffily, but I was calm and okay with sitting on the edge of the couch.

Then it all came down to one thing, the only thing I needed to do, the only thing I needed to say was to finally tell them that I was okay and that they could let me go now... And to be honest, it was hard for me to even do that through my shaking and bawling my eyes out tiredness.

Dad was the first to catch on and he knew I was putting on a brave face... because he asked me to be completely honest with him and Mum and to tell them both how I was. And as for Mum, she refused to let me go too, and she told me that she wouldn't let me go until they both got the truth from me.

So how did I answer? How did I make her let me go after a few minutes of silence? Well, I simply said please and then quietly asked her to let me go. That's right... All I said was a quiet, please. And after I spoke into her ear at the very end, I felt her loosening her grip around me at the same time.

My ears were still back when I came to look back at her. And I could tell that she was very concerned as she looked at me. She even asked like Dad did, but she did it ever so quietly, and I did nothing else but slowly nod afterwards. I was so quiet, so tired and hungry... I was hurting and thirsty. Crying took so much out of me again... but I had my family to help me and to support me once again.

Dad was still there next to me and he too was still just casually rubbing his hand over my back now. I even looked over to him for a moment after he suddenly ran his hand down the back of my neck. He wanted my attention, that was all he wanted... and he got it almost instantaneously. And then he did what Mum did, he mouthed the words to me and I just did the same thing. I just nodded then looked back to Mum with my ears still back.

Mum, on the other hand, was a little different when I came to look at her... And she did something I wasn't at all expecting. Her next gesture to me was to lean forward whilst grasping both sides of my head, and then to tilt it down. The last thing I felt was the gentle kiss on my head before she let go.

It's been a long time since that has ever happened to me. I think the last time was after high school...

I basically watched from that point. Dad was the last one to give me a gentle pat on the head while Mum was standing up... Then she helped him to his feet, and even Dad stumbled a little on his way up. You could tell Dad was heavily medicated by everyone's sudden reaction.

One was because of Evan, and Mum was the other. My brother was fast in reaching over and holding Dad up by the waist while Mum got a better grip around him. Then the both of them were simply on their way after a few moments and slowly heading over to where Dad was sitting before. Dad looked so out of it... and I was so surprised to see him holding out this long. I could see him trying his best to not lean on Mum during his slow steps, but even the mightiest must lean on someone for help.

Much like what happened to me, especially when my attention was returned too who was wrapping their arms around my waist, and when that same person also rested their head on my left shoulder.

Evan, my ever dependable brother... He just asked me if I felt ready to head up to the bathroom with him at first. Then if I wanted to clean myself up while we were there. The choice wasn't exactly mine to make at that point, because he just called for me to come with him... He even offered to help me...

We were gone for quite a while. And when we returned, we just made ourselves comfortable on the couch again. Evan had me resting in a real comfy place this time and I was quite warm. It was almost like how I was before, but I was a little more on my side with him still lying down right behind me.

The last thing he did was bring his head to rest just above mine while bringing the blanket to be right up and over my shoulder before finally reaching under and wrapping his right arm around my waist. I was his warm blanket, and he was both my pillow and my warm furry bed for the night by that point.

I remember seeing how Mum and Dad were when we came back from being upstairs. They were in a sense very happy to see us. Not only that, but they were also holding hands and smiling. We weren't the main reason for that... it's just how they get when we are all together as a family.

And I hate to admit how it all felt for me, but it felt amazing to be where I was. My brother was just a person quietly holding me. He even answered Mums ready call with a simple yes for me. I knew from that point on it was all over after that... the day and night were finally over, and I could finally relax.

The movie we started to watch was the exact same one as the one from the other night. And like last time, the opening scene was just like I remembered. It was full of action, and it even brought about a strong sense of peace for me on the inside. Evan even quietly asked how I was doing. And just like all the times before, I just told him that I was doing okay while I snuggled in a little more with him.

I felt so different in the arms of my brother. I was so at peace, so calm and relaxed. But that began to change when the movie got back to this one particular part. We were now where it was paused once before. A part of me knew it was going to be okay... he was locked up and never coming back. But, at the back of my mind, another part of me said and asked the what if questions over and over again.

What if it was all a lie and this was a nightmare and he really was going to come back? I tried to keep it out of thought. But as we got closer to that spot, I found myself asking myself the same question. I got to a point where I actually sat up a little and looked over towards the foyer. I was waiting for it to happen... the banging at the door, the doorbell, and the sudden silence... the pain... the suffering...

A minute became sixty seconds... and each tick of the clock brought my heart rate up ever so slightly.

Thirty seconds had ticked by, and I could feel myself getting very tense... My heartbeat was so strong and I was almost fully sitting up in complete anticipation for what was to come. I was waiting for it to happen and bracing myself for the worst possible outcome. I was waiting for it to happen.

Twenty-five, Twenty-four, Twenty-three... On and on it went. A clock in my mind, and it was counting down. Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six... Almost time. Then I felt Evan suddenly brush his head up against mine as I started shaking. I could barely hold myself together. Three, Two... One... Zero... zero... zero.

Nothing... Nothing happen. Why did nothing happen? "Hey? What's wrong?"

Was it all just a dream, Am I dreaming? What do I remember? Let's see. The movie should have been stopped by now, but it hasn't been? The door..? Dad..? I looked over to him and saw him there, right there in his chair with Mum next to him. But Mum, Why was she looking at me? Why was Dad?

Suddenly, all I felt was something hit my right ear. A loud flick with a bit of pain towards the end, and it was all over. Everything that my body was going through was gone. Evan had snapped me out of it.

That flick to my right ear hurt quite a lot, and he got me to do exactly what he wanted me to do... for me to turn and look at him real quick. Well, that was after I took a brief moment to realise what had exactly happened to me and to rub at my sore ear a little from the throbbing burning pain.

He never meant to do it, I know that. But when we locked eyes, he immediately apologised to me for doing it. I don't why he did or why he looked down with his ears back, but he didn't expect what I did next... I just hugged him and simply said thank you. For a moment, I felt him do absolutely nothing as I snuggled into him. But then he did do something, and it was very slow... he slowly returned the hug.

For those very slow seconds, I was left guessing that he was in shock of my response as his own arms encased themselves around me. But I never relented and just kept my head buried underneath his. I didn't want to let him go, and even he brought his head down to gently rest on top of mine.

For the longest of times, we just held each other. I remember how it felt to be held and loved by him for all of that time. And it only lasted until the moment we both heard Mum quietly calling out to us.

Her warm and caring voice is what made us both finally look up, and over to them. So why was Mum quietly calling out to us? Well, she wanted to know if I was okay then if they could resume the movie now. I had no idea that it had actually been paused in the first place. And to my surprise, neither did my brother... Then again the both of us did look to each other and start chuckling at the fact that we were the ones who were holding them up now... although it wasn't exactly our fault.

Our parents were so relaxed with what we were doing. And still were just casually watching us while we got ourselves organised again. Then once Evan checked that I was ready, he only then gave Mum the signal. And before I knew it, the movie basically continued on from where it was paused.

My brother just loves to take charge of me when I'm not ok... And it's good, because after everything that we have both been through, I was so tired, and he just wanted to cuddle and keep me safe. So, I didn't need any more encouragement to slowly begin too close my eyes and slowly drift off to sleep.

To be honest, I didn't care all that much for the movie. There's always another time. The other thing was how I never picked it or decided on anything. No one asked, and I automatically assumed it was going to be something different to what we started to watch previously, because of the events.

As for what happened to my food, well my plate was gone by the time I got back from being upstairs with Evan. So I figured that what was left, it had been packed away for me to eat tomorrow.

I don't know how long I was asleep for, but something was talking to me. And that something caused me to stir from my slumber and open my eyes. Then I heard the voice again. It had called my name a few times... And whatever it was, it was just sitting on the coffee table looking at me... I knew exactly what it was once I saw it, but could not even believe it. It was the black wolf from my nightmare and I wasn't scared at all to see him. But why does he feel so familiar? How do I know him?

"I'm so sorry Max... I'm sorry for waking you up in the middle of the night, and I am so sorry for all of the things you are going through right now. Please Max, please forgive me. I didn't mean to put you through so much pain... I tried to stop it. I tried to help but..."

"I forgive you, imaginary person. Now let me go back to sleep, and have good dreams for once." All I saw him do was reach over and then gently place his right hand onto my head, "As you wish Max."