From Ice Cream to Topping | Arc 2, Chapter 1 (New Edition)
Hello. My name is Charles Fair, or Charlie to those who really know me, and if I ever leave you with any lasting impression worth memorizing about me, outside of who I am -a grey wolf with a slight inferiority complex- and who I want to be -a proud gay man and a devoted partner- I pass on this edict of truth that, from my own existence up until now, I have found to be the most polarizing and accurate of statements I have ever learned; life is never fair.
That ideology is something my parents instilled in me when I was still very young, and to this point in my life I've never seen it disproved otherwise. You see, as it could so easily be said and even observed in this world around us, never during the course of one single life has anyone ever passed their time without experiencing the tirade's of hate, longing, and unfair expectations that are thrown at all of us at one moment in time or another; with of course the bitter sting that accompanies those feelings always hanging over our heads... and hearts.
To make it all worse, or to set the sum of it on a grander scale than perhaps it's even all worth, most annoyingly about life for me is when people look at you, and they're just never real happy with what they find you know? No, instead they just wanna see greater things from you than they are even capable of embracing and achieving in their own lives. To me, that's a rather ass backwards and archaic system; relying on others faith and feelings to shore up your own -tch-.
No, in my humble opinion, I think it's smarter to just rely on yourself for the things you want most in life. Not to put down partners, spouses, and the like, but it's just safer for your heart to live in that fashion. After all, it hurts to much when someone fails to live up to expectations you know they're capable of.
And that, not to put too fine a point on it at this moment in the story, is the world we fastly approach as the glitter and streamers from the ceiling above Daniel Adams, my boyfriend, and I fall down around us as we embrace each other, one last time, prior to the present catching up with us...
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"Hi. My name is Charlie, and I will be your trainer today. Welcome! Welcome to the crew here at Edible Edison's Confections, where we say daily smiles begin. Now as a new employee, several responsibilities & delegations will of course be your great fortune to call your own -and soon- but don't worry too much about the breadth at first, since our experienced and seasoned staff is happily willing to acclimate you & get you following in their footsteps to your own path of personal success. Now to truly begin the orientation process, I leave you with this introductory video, made by Eddie himself, and I'll be right back to answer any follow-up questions/comments, or concerns you may have before we begin the official tour. Okay?"
So it all began finally, such I often dreamt in nightmares that it would, with a fake smile and a polished charm unknown to even me I could possess, as my first official foray into a team leadership role began today. As I closed the office door behind me -my tail tucked tightly against my right thigh- I immediately began to scrub my paws profusely over and over again across the top my tongue, as though I had swallowed a bug that had left a terrible aftertaste in my mouth.
Truth be told, had this very moment come any earlier than about a year ago, I never could have imagined myself capable of such an endeavor, but thanks to the several blessings and just as many missteps I've taken along the course of my life, I've grown so much more confident in who I am, and where I know I should be; even if feels like I am, at times, miles away from that very goal.
"Oh shit, look at little Charlie, all grown up, wearing the big kid's uniform and everything hehe!" I heard the deep voice boom from beside me as I turned my head to be met with who I define as the single greatest distraction in my life of late; well if you exclude Ty Abrams from before anyway...
"Derek O'telo, now I know we've discussed this before good sir... let's review; no hitting on the boss... safety first... don't run with scissors... with great power blah, blah, blah... and a lot of other stuffy nonsense..." I said jokingly to finish, but intended halfheartedly, as I gently -well struggled more really- nudged against the burly polar bear who would constantly use his great size to push me around in a similar way, as though I was just a small plaything to him. Truthfully, I never minded one damn bit, because whether or not the jock-esque self described golf pro ever realized it, in that straight guy brain of his, invoked 'feelings' I knew where better left to the imagination.
"I think it's cute how you try... boss... but let's be real; you weigh about the equivalency of one of my forearms okay hehe. Besides, you know I'd never hurt my boy D.A. like that! Speak of the devil though, for real, I haven't seen Adams around at all lately. Everything well oiled and still in operation ferris wheel?" Derek asked genuinely enough, but inadvertently caused both my heart and the pit of my stomach to tighten up at the mention of the name...
"Ha, ferris wheel, now that's cute big guy; poking fun at my last name again huh? But hey, in all seriousness, shouldn't you be more concerned with the carnival folk figuring out that you escaped again?" I deflected the question with a witty comeback, a new skill amongst many I had learned -and how- over the course of this past year since I had my life pull a 180 on me; well ever since I let D.A., or Daniel Adams, into my life.
Daniel, if you don't know, is my special German Shepherd 'friend' who was slowly helping me grow and evolve into the best version of the animal I could be. At least he was helping with that anyway... until...
"Wow, now that zinger was high and tight! Fantastically done! But damn, I felt the heat on that one boss; I'm gonna need some ice cream and the rest of the day off just to cool down this damn burn!" Derek laughed with his big grin, and often spot on observations backing him up, as he relished in his dramatics next and proceeded to sulk away dejectedly, all the while imitating a burning, hissing noise with every progressive step he took.
"Only one freebie a day bear... and you're working a double now; you hear me!" I yelled aloud to the disappearing body as I looked back towards the office then to see how the newbie was doing. "Well now, that's just... expected..."
To no great surprise, especially given the nature of this new generation we live in, the young jackal was on his phone already -of course- completely ignoring the welcome video Eddie had made; although if I'm being honest, I turned that bitch off minutes in when I had to watch it myself.
"Well, at least he'll fit right in..." Was my final thought on the matter as I walked off while shrugging my shoulders in defeat, then instead took to exploring the newly renovated facility again -for what felt like the third time today at the very least- since we had reopened after the remodel three weeks ago. Honestly, I just couldn't get enough of the old place made new as I looked around at what just used to be just some dingy, podunk little ice cream parlor in Addlelark, and has since taken on a fresh, new form.
Back when this plan was formed, I was ambivalent about the change, seeing as how there was so much going on in my personal life at the time, but with the promise of a promotion and a pretty sizeable pay raise from Eddie to boot, who was I to continue to object, even if that meant more time here and less time for school, and home; and him...
Daniel...
With memories within my own mind suddenly mounting against me then, I decided to take a moment for myself -knowing the new hire was in no rush anyway- as I went to the employee break room and sat down on what could be only described as elementary school chairs -twelve steps forward and a hundred steps backwards Eddie-, then pulled my own phone out of my manager's vestment and unlocked the device.
Longing, mixed with some admitted spite, spurned me on at first as an app on the phone booted up next, but it was apprehension that stayed my hand afterwards, when instantly popped up a familiar web address image I had seen time and time again since its genesis; one of Daniel & I sharing a tender embrace with the tag line "The Promised Future" written below it, posted no more than just six months ago by the gentle Shepherd himself.
Now normally, such a gentle mentality coupled with the equally hopeful picture would suggest that paradise lost itself had indeed finally been found, and by just the most unassuming couple of differently attractive gay guys, who had... admittedly... fell in love with each other's bodies first, personal problems second, then personalities third.
Daniel Adams; who once was mine... who taught me how to live and opened me up to experiences that I used to believe were beyond me, can no longer take my calls, and can no longer be here to hug me when I'm in need of embrace. In effect, the only man who I could ever say I have truly loved is out of my reach now, and it seems like, at many a time, that it's my fault.
"Daniel..." I managed to squeeze out amidst almost a whispers audible as my paw touched softly at his frozen-in-time smile on my phone, a tear escaping from me like clockwork as I choked back my daily struggle -the six months long war within me the crisis core of it all- as I stood up quickly to try to catch both my stilted breath and a incidentally rather sobering reflection of myself in a nearby mirror.
You see, the grey wolf himself was recognizable easily enough, even when hidden under this facade of title and pomp, but deep down I knew, no amount of this superficial change could ever disguise that hate you could see buried deep in my eyes as the fire that used to burn bright within me -one of steadfastness and hope- had begun to fizzle out a little over a month ago now, leaving behind only fading embers and a new promise to myself that I'll never let go of, and never let die; that I'll never give up, and never just surrender... like Daniel did...
Let's see what happens next...