From Ice Cream to Topping | Arc 2, Chapter 3 (New Edition)
With a beer mug in hand and a chip on my shoulder I slowly gulped at the frothy alcohol that Ty had purchased for me, enjoying the warmth that would hit the innards of my chest with every mouthful as I looked on with a happy smile I knew I'd later regret showing. Sad to say, the very act of drinking was not new for me anymore, not since Daniel had got me into doing it socially with him back when we had first started out as a couple, -he was a wine mogul after all- but the fact remained, as of now, that it was sort of a new expanded fault in my character; for me though, it was the best-worst substitute I had found to stop from recognizing that I was alone lately...
So it was then, as we sat together amidst a corner booth in a local bar that happened to be real close to where Ty had found me just a little over an hour ago, I refused to any longer hide from this rather dense reality which had begun to govern and consume my life lately as I readily confessed to Ty why Daniel had been absent of late.
"HE'S WHERE!?" Ty asked excitedly, almost knocking over his own ale as he slammed his paws in astonishment down on the table. Truthfully, although the inquiry came from the muzzle of another, I have to admit the very question itself was one which was never very far from my own mind...
"Yeah. For real right? But I'm not joking here Ty. He's umm... in prison. Just gone... like that..." I said as I snapped my fingers and continued on, "Like there weren't better things in the world for him to attend to you know?"
The memory ached in my heart, like it normally would, as I discussed the situation further, but let's be honest for a minute, having someone else to talk to about all this other than Guiles -Daniel's longtime family butler and confidant- was pretty refreshing, and after so long of keeping it bottled up inside me...
"Wow... now that's a punch in the maw, and quite frankly a little hard to believe. I mean, he seemed so straight edged. How did this happen?" The snow leopard asked as his inquisitive and gentle nature looked at me with genuine worry; a trait -or talent- of his I have to admit, in this moment, I was happy to familiarize myself with again as his piercing blue eyes drew me in to his gravity the likes of which I never figured out how not to fall headfirst into before.
"Well now Mr. Abrams, that question's answer is going to cost you another one of these..." I said with a drunken grin as I immediately slammed the rest of the liquid into my muzzle, to which afterwards he gestured towards the waitress for a second refill of the some odd thirty ounce mug. "Thanks Ty, you are a good friend after all! Who would've guessed? So, I'm going to tell you something I haven't told anyone about yet, so it's a secret okay... shhh! It's all my fault he's gone. Hehe. Well, really a dreams fault actually. But it was my dream, okay; you following me?"
With a noticed slur on my part with every passing additional gulp, I could feel inebriation within me growing, but choose to ignore its warning signs as I continued on with my tale of woe. "I mean, how was I supposed to know he'd be all mister serious that very day after I told him about this nightmare I had..."
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It was one innocent and unassuming night, several months ago, that I awoke from a startling dream -or premonition rather- and quickly grabbed instinctively for the nearest thing to me, which accidently led to me pulling at Daniel's chest fur, subsequently waking him up with me.
"Oww fuck babe, what's wrong with you!?" My boyfriend barked out in a tired, grumpy haze as he looked over at me confused and rubbed at his pained chest. "Damn, that hurt..."
"Ah, crap Dan, I'm sorry! It's just... well, I had the most horrible nightmare just now..." I said softly, rubbing at my eyes so to wake myself up further; wanting to avoid going back to sleep right away and just falling straight back into the madness and absurdity of the dream.
"Oh, it's one of those dreams huh?" The dog said with a waking yawn as he grabbed for me and pulled me backwards into his bare embrace -his clothing lost during a earlier encounter of ours that night- as the German shepherd stayed behind me then and said "So, why don't you tell me about it hun? Maybe it'll help to get it off your mind..."
"Well..." I started slowly, but with confidence growing, as I pulled the shepherd's leg over me for security and reassurance, to which he matched me -like the romantic he was- by idling his muzzle against my cheek. "...this bad dream was about you actually."
"About me huh? Knew you couldn't get me out of your head, even when you're asleep!" He joked as he rested his -still erect from sleep- cock against the swell of my back and readjusted his outstretched arm underneath me which was supporting my neck then.
"That's not funny Daniel. For real. It was so... terrifying. You... umm... were arrested." I whimpered sensitively as I held his muscled forearm tightly against my face, the dream still refusing to release me from its feeling of dread as I buried into his musculature.
"Eh, well now that's no good; can't believe I let myself get caught." Daniel remarked almost nonchalantly at first, but switched over to inquisitive as I noticed his erection went down. "That must have been scary for you huh? You alright now?" Naturally in the aftermath of it all -like the good partner he was-, he would acknowledge my feelings before his own; well at least for that moment he did anyway...
"You don't even know the half of it shepherd lover of mine. I mean, at first, it all felt so real, and awesome in a lot of ways starting out, but ultimately became very unsettling when it spiraled out of control at a certain point. I mean, you know how dreams are. The worst thing though was the way my heart felt the whole time, kind of lost somewhere between helpless and hopeless as I stayed a slave to it all; to make matters worse even your dad was in it..."
And so there it was, with that simplest of slip of the tongue proclamations, I felt a coldness -both physical and allegorically- hit me as Daniel rolled away from me, both somehow quietly and suddenly too, before he started to push the bed covers away from himself in an obviously agitated tussle, to afterwards which he then positioned himself on the edge of the bed; his body language and tone instantly changed after just the slightest mention of the man who he had decided by then stole his childhood away from him.
"Charlie, we've talked about this..." His indifference for the subject at hand was prevalent in the command suddenly heard in his voice. However, in my tired, groggy state I failed to recognize this at first as I continued to yammer on about the matter at hand; these telltale signs of his, as was the reminder about the trauma, resting somewhere in the back of my mind as we continued to converse.
"But Dan... your families winery; you burned it all down! It was crazy! There was so much fire everywhere, and for some reason I was just there watching this all unfold in the dream!" I explained excitedly as I used arm gestures to try and demonstrate the scope of the blaze I was referring too.
"Hehe, now that's a knee slapper love! Haha, hopefully that old bastard was caught in the chaos..." Daniel's attitude turned around again with a laugh -almost wickedly mind you- as he stood up finally and scooped up at his sleeping pants off the floor and straddled them back on himself then, his tail popping out the back hole as he pulled them up swiftly over his naked model-like posterior.
"Daniel Amaretto Adams!" I howled out his full name suddenly in a scolding tone as the muscled god dog turned his head towards me in surprise, with shame following. "Never wish anyone dead; you hear me! Never! No matter what they've done! No matter who they are! Everyone deserves to live; if at least to prove why they should..." I growled low as I argued my point, talking mostly from personal experience and heartache, after which I grabbed at my phone and checked the time; only several hours past since Daniel and I had went to bed.
"Fine. Point taken babe. But man, I wish I could see into your mind. See, admittedly, I would have loved to have seen the place burn to the ground, if only in just a dream..." The Shepherd commented maliciously, but then caught me off guard before I could comment back with his follow up, "...whelp, guess I'll just have to settle for the fire I see in those beautiful eyes of yours that ignites my passion instead!"
"Oh shut up!" I said playfully and emotionally disarmed finally -the tension in the room changed by Daniel himself- as I threw my pillow at him, to which he ducked, chuckled, and sprinted quickly towards the bedroom bathroom and closed the door behind him gently. "Stupid romantics' gonna give you an aneurism someday Charlie..."
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"Wow, he kind of sounds like an amazing guy from the way you describe the night..." Ty said with a noticed hint of sadness in his voice as he walked down the sidewalk with me, my house only -I think- several more blocks down from where we presently were at; my drunkenness overtaking my good judgment as I grabbed at and held Ty's open paw for balance.
"You'd think so *hiccup* right? Stupid Shepherd. Just always so cool, and devoted, and damn my weakness for that body! Man he... *sighs* he had it all." I stated it all boldly, shifting between high and hushed tones, after which I began to slump forward, letting the weight of my body obey gravity's cruelty, but was stopped as Ty caught me in mid-freefall, tossing me over his shoulder like I was a sack of potatoes afterwards. "Hehe, *hiccups again* helpful silly kitty!"
"Of course he had it all Charlie; he had you after all..." Ty said with his own sigh following as we continued forward with the sun setting in front of us towards my place, "Anyway though, why don't you go ahead and tell me more about what happened next?" He said while finally breaking into an even stride as I unabashedly rested on him.
"Huh? Oh right... the dream. So *burps* where were we?..."
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"Hey, sorry again for waking you up Daniel! Since we're up though, you want anything to drink my love?" I apologized and asked as I, in trying my best to remove the recollection of the nightmare from my system, followed suit behind Daniel and got my butt out of the bed too.
As I stood and began to stretch, I could notice the eschewing feeling in me subsiding with each bone popped as I would crack each phalange in my paws individually following; my thoughts all the while still floating somewhere between where I consciously stood and where I just was dreaming subconsciously.
"Daniel!? Drink!?" I called out to him again next, trying my best to get the attention of my German Shepherd boyfriend, as I threw my zippered hoodie on -the unzipped element exposing my chest and abs- as I walked over to the bathroom and readied my hand to knock.
In the end, I didn't though. Actually to be more accurate, I refused was the truth as I sniffed at the air suddenly then, the whiff of a burning smell coming from the bath area instantly forcing myself away as I recognized the foul stench that I had, even after so many innocent enough years spent on this earth, come to know anyway; catscratch.
Furthermore on the subject -as a point of reference for the scientifically recognized and institutionally utilized drug- legal though it may be to possess here in Addlelark for the medicinally prescribed, the narcotic had annoyingly and increasingly anyway found its way into the lives of the mainstream.
As a direct consequence, fight though I'd like too against it, the fucking thing had already penetrated the very infrastructure of my life in that it found its way into the hands of my often simple minded boyfriend who, even though I'm standing right here by him and have been since we got together, when he picked up the habit claimed he needed just a little something extra to take the edge off.
With a grunt and a huff I blew the scent away from my nostrils as I staggered away dejectedly, and slightly bitter too admittedly, while I made my way into the kitchen and grabbed us both a soda from the fridge. As I thought more about it then, truth be told, it wasn't something I ever wanted to deal with in my life, let alone in my own home, but saying no to this felt like I was saying no to Daniel, and I never wanted to do that, or go back to times before he was in my bubble ever again. After all, who was I to argue with myself a losing battle when I know I always choose him; damn my love blinded ass.
"Guess it's just my new normal now..." I said with a sigh as I closed the fridge door with my right foot, turned around, and was greeted with my still shirtless boyfriend. "Oh hey babe, was just grabbing us a drink before we go back to bed."
"Yeah, of course you were. In fact, you're always doing everything for me aren't you?" Daniel said with a surprisingly sudden and soft grace as he grabbed the soda's out of my hands, set them aside on the countertop, then pulled at my paws so that I'd join him on the couch in the living room adjacent. "And I know sometimes it seems like I might not notice these little things, or maybe seem like I don't care, but I do."
"Well that's awfully sweet of you to say Dan, thanks." I smiled at the sentiment as I leaned over to kiss Daniel, but stopped short as the catscratch still hung on his breath, causing me to veer higher as I kissed the bridge of his nose. "Come on handsome, let's go back to bed. That complement may have earned you a little fun hehe!"
"No, wait, I mean hell yeah, of course, but first I have something to tell you okay." Daniel said as he clasped my paws together with his own right above our knees.
"Oookay..." I said over exaggeratedly as I looked at him in confusion.
"You umm, how should I put this delicately... challenge me... sometimes."
"Oh well that's nice, thanks again hun...." I scoffed with an eye roll following, wondering if he'd even hear how he'd come off when he'd give follow up back handed compliments like these.
"Now just wait a minute, hear me out. You see what I'm trying to say... you know whenever I am with you I... God, why is this so hard, even after all the time I've spent practicing this?" It was then suddenly his ambitions became clear to me, because within a moment's notice -forever crystallized in time for me- my German Shepherd friend, with all his guile and confidence unexpectedly removed, shook before me in a nervousness the likes of which I had never seen from him, as he gingerly reached into his pajama pants pocket and pulled out an innocently deceptive and small plain box. "What I mean to say is that you have this unintentionally innocent way of pushing me to be better, and if my mom ever taught me anything, was that I was always capable of better; I just never knew how to be that man until I met you."
"Daniel, what are you?..."
"Charles Fair... Charlie, my love, my silly wolfy; by whatever name I've ever known you, I've never lived a real moment in my life until you found your way into mine. Whether serendipitous or purposefully, I knew the second I met you I'd found something special. And although times have come where I have failed, and let you down... I know... I recognize it because I fell along with you in those times. And if that's the case, the balance of love, that if I really stop and think about it, if I can just focus on lifting you up to a place where your grace belongs and deserves to be, maybe everything works out fine for me too. And to be honest, that doesn't sound like a bad way at all to want to spend the rest of my life; now does it?"
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"Oh my god, he didn't propose did he?" Ty asked surprised as we approached my apartment together, he himself remembering where it was with no given direction from me as he assisted me step by step towards the front door.
"He did. The fool. He should have known my heart wasn't ready for it." I whispered sadly with the memory still playing in my alcohol muddled head as I fumbled around with the keys in my hand, wondering to myself then if there would ever be a time again when I wouldn't have to use these, and instead someone would just be waiting on the other side of the door for me; such as there used to be.
"Oh wow, you told him no then? Harsh. But wait, what does this is all have to do with Daniel going to prison anyway?"
"It all ties together Ty. Trust me. But for right now dude, my heads spinning. So either kick rocks or come inside, but I'm going to bed." I said with a bitterness pooling in my muzzle as I kicked the door open after finding the right key and made my way inside the dark and shadowed reflection of the happy and warm home I once knew, leaving the entrance wide open behind me as I began to remove my work clothes layer by layer and left them where they may lie; all a reflection of the new type of person I had become.
"Well, maybe I should stay. You did have a lot to drink and I'd feel better knowing you're okay, at least for tonight." The Snow Leopard conceded quickly and with little thought needed -I did noticed- as he quietly closed the door behind us -an almost devil like grin adorned across his face unbeknownst to me- until the last sound I heard as I finally managed to close my eyes there in the darkness was just only that of the tumbler inside of the deadbolt's locking mechanism.
To be honest, I should have been more concerned about this situation given our history, but all expectations and worries I used to know are gone now. After all, what really matters anymore? Worse still, I wonder as I access my REM sleep, what worries does a man with no future have anyway?
Let's see what happens next...