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_ Advent | Chapter 1 - Another Day _

All my life had been leading me to this moment, my point of no return. It was an inescapable conclusion that I would naturally arrive here the way I did -I think; in hindsight anyway-, but nevertheless, even as I stood feeling both speechless and victimized as I gently set back down the hand written note I had found left on my bed, I still dared to wish I had more time to argue with its author the contents.

However, as I knew all too well, it was my choices, actions, and consequence of late that had lead me to where I am now; I couldn't ever argue against that simple statement. In fact, nothing could ever rewrite my history in regards to it.

In the end, as I shifted glances between the moon outside reflecting on the water out on the bay to my apartment keys next, I knew I was stuck. Innocently caught somewhere between a decision to continue who I've been, and carry on with the perpetuation of my lies I'd grown accustomed to living with, or take a chance and become who I really think I can be, deep down inside in my core, and leave this world behind.

However, I guess we should start back at the beginning though. After all, perhaps in my countenance of recent events I'll find clarity to know what I should do right now.

Anyway, my name is Chris Thompson, and for as long as this grey wolf has cared to remember, I've always hated the animal that I am. Possibly if I explained the last few days of late you would better understand how much I wanted the return of this new beginning; an advent I so desperately needed.

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|_Moonshine Beach _|

Population: 100*

*Come seasons change to summer: over 1500

v Most popular tourist destination: Kevin's Cove for a "Sex on the Rocks"

v Most popular eatery: Geoffrey's Retreat for a "Swiss Mushroom Steak"

v Most popular tourist attraction: "Chris Thompson"

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For as long as I could remember, only days after moving to Moonshine in my late teens, that sign leading into town has always had my name etched into its last epitaph. Truthfully, I didn't mind seeing it there. I've always been -let's say- a promiscuous wolf. No shame in hiding that fact. No point in trying too either. After all, my reputation was already virally known and the internet browser doogle reviewed.

My appetite for this "less than conventional-fare," coupled with wildly varied and often over embellished accounts of several visitors' who have since come and gone to this little stretch of paradise, had given me the self-indulgent title of "Moonshine's Finest;" the sum of which, to be honest, I always knew it was just a polite way of saying I was the island "slut." Ain't that the truth though...

See in spite of everything, I am one of the only hundred of denizens that actually dwell here year round; the very nature of extended island life a burden to most who try to relocate themselves here. Luckily -or not- for me, I live in this small dive above the bar known as "Kevin's Cove" with the big cat himself, Kevin Spoons. Here of all places is where you could also find me hard at work, shambling about as both a waiter and bus-wolf to bring in some extra cash flow. You see, turning tricks only pays well during the summertime...

Come my free time though, man how I love nothing more than going on down to the shore and hitting the waves. Often too, I'll paddle out whenever the waves are calm otherwise and just lie down atop my long board and stare up towards the sky; waiting patiently -such as furson's often do- for a falling star so to make a wish.

To me, the serenity and silence I enjoy in that moment is nothing short of astounding. I can feel happy in that moment. In that time is when I feel free; unburdened.

Yet, here I am, distanced from my passion and instead stuck serving tasteless alcohol to these vacationing slackers that would rather slap my ass then give me a tip. In fact, no matter who may argue otherwise, I say no amount of grab ass pays any bills...

"Waiter... I'm still... waiting..." a rather muscular leopard called out to me as I had just finished wiping clear a table for the next set of customers coming in out of the surf.

"Eh... keep your shirt on... or your pants still at least." I thought while the customer peered at me through his empty glass. "Be right back sir!"

"Ugh, sometimes I hate my life..." I said aloud as I made my way over to where the boss was standing and slumped my weight against the countertop he was working behind.

"Aww, you look stressed. What's got you down Chris?" He questioned as he polished a few mugs clean then turned his attention to the shot glasses next.

"Just the rush getting to me today I guess." I moaned out before reaching towards the lining of my shorts and started pulling out the dollar bills that had somehow found their way onto my person; damn if I could tell you when they got there in the first place.

"Well hey, let's cheer you up and look at these positives in your life, okay. Let's see... you get free rent, good steady pay, get to work with your oldest buddy -of course- and... oh... look at all the dudes who just came in who are already eyeballing you like a piece of meat!" Kevin laughed whilst at first I rested my head down on the bar, then lifted my head up to stare at him and then glare. Of course, when it came to him, I allowed this behavior to exist in the first place, but only because he's such an old friend; carbon dated as far back as my sandbox days.

Naturally, Kevin is a lion; and much like myself in his mid twenties, built, athletic, gorgeous, even charming I would say had I never learned he slept with our entire high school football team after the their big game... twice.

Growing up with a lion as a best friend did have its advantages though, I will admit. Certainly it was because of his presence and I was never called a fag in school, though I knew everybody's gazes and sneers screamed it nonverbally anyway; thanks to myself being unable to hide my flamboyant ways.

Thinking back on those days of youth it could be said -I think-, without his protection anyway, the packs in school would have been unbearable, perhaps even dangerous. And because of this, I owe so much to this wonderful lion that no amount of words can help me describe...

"That's exactly what the problem is Kev! Sometimes it's too much attention. It's almost unnerving as I look around and realize that almost everyone's just looking at me and thinking 'god I want to eat his ass' all the time!"

"Well Chris, and follow me on this one, that could be because you have the most perfect ass!" Kevin smiled as he eyed my butt next.

"Thanks for clarifying asshole. Now I know for certain that every single animal in the building is staring..." I said in sarcastic response as Kevin burst into laughter following. I just ignored him -as I usually had to sometimes- and continued on with my shift; the sum of which entailed the leopard from earlier fixate his glare on me for what seemed like a few hours, although I could swear he had already picked up his tab.

---

Almost predictably and systematically so, after work -and all my days since Kev set me up in this duplex- I head up to my apartment atop Kevin's bar and begin to unwind from sometimes what could be considered a long day on my feet; although a day on your back can be considered just as tiring, on this you can trust me.

Anyway, basic amenities of my apartment include; one window, a tiny six pack sized refrigerator, a couch where a coil spring sticks out on the left arm rest, and a toilet that constantly backs up. Advanced features... well are nonexistent; the saving grace of this place that my window does peer out across the endless ocean I love so deeply.

My apartment isn't much, as one could say, but it is mine!

Importantly enough, that sort of philosophy is what I stuck with whenever my family decided they're going to show up unannounced and randomly too; not that the visits ever varied by any means of degrees unfortunately.

No, when it came to my family, and for every visit too, I would just hear my father complain of how I never should've left home and went to school instead, although I never really knew what degree to go for in the first place. Then there was my mother, the confused woman that thinks I'll die without her whenever I sneeze. My brother and sister are no better, suffice it to say the only reason I've ever had cops come to my home is because it mysteriously caught fire when they visited that one time.

Back in the present anyhow, whenever I get home, I instantly take off my clothing, -I'm way to thick in fur to remain in such- fall backwards onto my twin size mattress, and then slip inwards towards well meaning self-reflection. Here, I think about my day gone, of past and well intended futures spent, and find myself quite frequently contemplating as to how my time spent on this earth is on a loop schedule sometimes.

From what I've noticed, nothing really ever changes for me. I get up, shower, work, go for a swim, lick myself, and then go to bed; the cycle continuing the next morning. "There's got to be something better than this for me..."

That night after work was no different from the rest of course, although that leopard -let me tell you- sure as hell did try and get my number. Funny thing is, I did give him something in the end; a fake name and a phone number with only six digits.

Truth is, I'm so tired of this 'finest' business that every son and father -sometimes both at the same time- comes to expect of me while vacationing here. Yes, I say I want excitement, and want to step out of the ordinary, but not like that. What I really want is to remember what it feels like to be alive. God, what I wouldn't give to practice the feelings of young innocence once again...

Anyway, I couldn't sleep at all that evening -nothing new to me most nights- especially when you consider how often I lay awake sometimes simply because I can hear a moaning lion through the drywall.

However, in response to this kind of madness, I just get up from bed -like usual- and walk over to the window and look out at the view; towards the ocean, where I believe my endless expanse of possibilities rests right past that horizon. If I should ever one day be brave enough to pursue it.

With that thought still mulling around within my brain, I realized my sleep tonight was already shot to hell, so I instead grabbed my surf board and went down to the beach.

Hopefully the smell of the ocean can calm this young wolf's unsteady mind. Hopefully...