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Chapter 28 :

Judgement

Clairibelle had been distant for days.

She needed the time, and no one tried to push her to come back home. They all knew what was required. Megan could have gone to her too soon. CB could have come back too fast. Either one of them could have made it more difficult...

They didn't.

Clairibelle finally walked back into the guest house late that night to find everyone waiting for her. It was expected. It was welcome.

No one said anything at first. Eli and Cassidy watched as Megan stood up from the couch next to them, and moved over slowly to take the woman she loved in a gentle hug. So many times it had been desperate, or needed, or demanded...

This time is was just a relief.

"How is she?" Megan whispered, the sound muffled by having her head buried in the other woman's shoulder.

"She's scared." Clairibelle stroked her back gently, letting loose with a sigh, "So am I."

The emotions were raging too much within one of them to let that moment be. Cassidy tried to comfort him as he started to fidget. She started to worry when she saw him start to cry, but she couldn't quell this flood as he stood to his feet.

"This is my fault." He blurted out, tears in his eyes, "I'm so sorry, Miss Clairibelle... I never meant for this. I love Mimi. I would never..."

She drew away from Megan, and at first he couldn't read her expression as she moved toward him. He practically sagged against her as she wrapped her arms around him though, taking him up as tight as anyone ever had.

"I needed to be mad at someone. I'm sorry, Eli. I don't blame you." She tucked her head against his chest in a way that made him relax, "After what I did that morning... How could I?"

Again no one said anything. Not until Clairibelle broke the silence herself.

"I try to tell myself I'm not that person anymore. That I control my urges, and that they don't control me... But they do still cloud my judgment." She sniffled against his chest now, "Seeing you naked... It was nowhere near as inappropriate as what I did. What you did was an accident. What I did was intentional. I'm... I'm such a hypocrite."

“Don't say that." He was barely whispering, “You were just trying to help me. You're not…"

"I am, and I need to be a hypocrite once more, Eli... I'm sorry for that." She sighed against his chest now, "I need you to be careful around her. I need you to help me make sure we prevent this, as often as we can."

He nodded emphatically against her, "Of course, Miss Clairibelle. I'll do whatever I need to."

"You don't understand." She leaned back from his, her eyes teared over now, "Once she gets older, once she matures... She is going to obsess over you. She won't be able to help it. There will be times when she won't be able to control herself."

That gave him pause, and concern, "Are you... Sure, ma'am?"

"Yes." She sighed, letting her eyes close, "I know it."

"How can you be certain?"

"Because she's like me." She looked up at him with a look of absolute sadness then, one that was drowning in desire as she reached up to put a hand on his cheek, "You don't know what it's been like... Living so close to you. The big, beautiful bull I could never have. The way I've lusted and longed for it. How many times I've had to... Needed to pleasure myself, just to keep from trying to seduce you."

Everyone was quiet, except the the sniffle as Clairibelle fought back her tears.

"You are magnificent... Unatainable... A treasure that can never be mine."

Megan moved up alongside her now. There was no jealousy, only concern as she put her arm around her, "You're exhausted, honey... Come on. Come to bed with me."

She took a step back from the young man, leaning into her lover's arms instead, allowing herself to be led down the hall to get cleaned up and ready for the sleep she had denied herself all day.

Cassidy rose to take up his arm as they watched the older women leave. He was still in a daze, struck by the intensity of the look in her eyes. He had seen the way she looked at him ever since he had grown to as tall as she was and beyond. Like everyone else, he had underestimated exactly how much his presence in her life had affected her. She needed him to understand that now. She needed him to know.

He was her forbidden fruit, dangling just out of reach even while she was starving.

One day he would be Mimi's, too.

Cassidy sighed, leaning her head against his arm, "Today sucks."

"Yeah." He said with a sigh, looking down at her sadly, "Yeah, it does."

They had both washed up a bit before bed about fifteen minutes later, though neither needed a shower. Megan had made sure Clairibelle was changed and settled in before setting about changing her own clothes for the night.

"I'm sorry, Megan."

"Sorry?" Megan regarded her curiously, fiddling with her sleeveless shirt to get it sitting right, "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"You just watched me tell a young man how much I want to fuck him, and you don't think I should be sorry for that?" CB sighed, letting her eyes close and shaking her head, "I'm with you, Megan. I want to be with you. I'm not supposed to do things like that anymore."

"Oh, come on. I know why you did it. You're just trying to prepare him for what might be coming." Megan came back to the bed to sit down close to her lover, reaching up to stroke her jaw slowly, "And... I don't think this like that, you and me. I don't think I'd mind, as long as you came back."

Clairibelle leaned in, sniffling a little as she heard the words. It wasn't confirmation. It was acceptance. As grateful as she was for it, it wasn't what she was looking for, "Megan... It's not about if you would mind or not. I need more. I need you to leash me."

Megan leaned back a bit, "I don't understand."

Clairibelle started to mist over a bit, "I don't want anyone else. I don't want to lust after other people the way I do, but I can't help it."

"Then how about I meet you half way?" Megan placed her forehead against CB's, and both of their eyes closed at the contact, "You promise me... Promise you'll never stray, and I promise... I promise to forgive if you do."

She couldn't help but smile. It was such a absurdly contradictory pact to make. It was a promise wrapped around a loophole, but Megan had figured her out. Megan knew this was as close as Clairibelle could ever come to trusting herself. Megan knew that no matter her dedication, the curse would always be a part of her. She knew that temptation was part of who Clairibelle would always be.

Megan knew. She understood, and she accepted.

CB smiled sadly. How could anyone be so perfect for her?

"I promise Megan..."

It was late afternoon a few days later, and now most of the ladies of the guest house were waiting in the living room for Millie to join them. Megan and Clairibelle sat on the couch a bit away from Cassidy, leaning against one another happily. Millie was in the bathroom getting ready for something that had taken more than a month of soul searching and long talks on the phone to turn into a reality.

She had a date.

Cassidy eventually broke the silence, "I'm really not sure about this, mom."

"I'm not either." Megan replied, "But this is what she wants. She loves him, I don't doubt that."

Cassidy shook her head slowly, "Maybe..."

Megan watched her for a few seconds more, "What's wrong, honey?"

"You didn't see him when he came by that day." She said, still trying to keep her voice quiet so Millie wouldn't hear, "He only seemed to care about what he wanted. He wasn't... He wasn't happy that she found us, just upset that she wanted to stay."

"Well, he has been in a position of power for a long time." Megan thought out loud, "He's probably used to getting his way."

Clairibelle sighed to herself, drawing their attention. They watched as she mulled over how to say what she intended for a long moment before speaking, "No matter what happens, you have to let her have this."

"You know something we don't?" Megan asked curiously.

"I've heard them on the phone together. She's... Struggling." Clairibelle shook her head sadly, "Her relationship with him may be the only thing that made her time there bearable. If what they had turns out to be false, it means the one man who she believed loved her was using her all along. Just like everyone else."

Cassidy turned her head away, "Oh, Jesus..."

"This could very well turn out badly. She knows that as well as anyone." CB went on, "But she has to find out for herself."

"Thank you, Clairibelle."

The two human women startled to find Millie standing in the hallway now, wearing the knee-length red and white striped dress they had picked out for her date. CB had heard her coming well enough. She had simply decided it wasn't something anyone should be hiding from, especially not the little dog that needed all the love and support she could get right now.

"I've been trying to... explain it." Millie was wringing her hands together, "I couldn't find the words."

"Millie..." Cassidy stood, though it was such a struggle at this point that her mother and CB had rise up and go to either side of her to help with it. Her belly stuck out off her skinny frame almost comically now, though no one was laughing, "I'm sorry. I just don't want to lose you again."

"You won't. Not ever." Millie lowered her eyes, still seeming to struggle with how to say what she felt, "I just... I need to know..."

"He's in love with Laika." CB again, still at Cassidy's side. She looked back and forth at mother and daughter, the concern clear in her eyes, "He has to learn to love Millie."

Millie gave in. She let Clairibelle be her voice, silently moving forward to lean into the wiser woman's arms with a sniffle. It was a role Charlie had filled for her, once upon a time. She was a girl that understood things more complicated than many could ever want to, but she had always struggled against the words.

Especially the ones used against her. She had always been easy to hurt, and the easiest way to hurt her was well known at the Pretty Kitty.

"I'm not smart like you all. Everyone always says so." Millie's voice cracked, "I can't... I don't know how to say the things I want to say."

"Millie, no..." Megan and Cassidy stepped in closer to comfort her, the elder speaking, "You're not..."

"Megan." Clairibelle cut the pair of humans a serious look, "You have to understand... The Changed, we've all struggled with this. We've all wanted to be understood, and not been able to say what we wanted to because of what we didn't know."

CB's look softened as she leaned away to lock eyes with the little dog, reaching up one hand to stroke along her ear, "Some of us more than others. Trust me. I know."

"Help me." She practically pleaded back, "How do I make him understand?"

Clairibelle smiled softly, "You've already said everything you could ever need to, honey. It's up to him now to prove that he has heard you."

Millie's eyes dropped a bit in concern, and CB continued, "If he can't do that... Then he doesn't deserve you. You know that, don't you?"

She took a half step back, letting her hands fall into Clairibelle's. Her eyes were still down, but she nodded in response to the question.

Clairibelle gave her a broader smile, and after a bit held their arms out to the side so she could look her over, “I love the dress, by the way."

“Really" Millie pulled away, giving the waist a little tug to try and get it sitting right, “I look alright in it? I've never worn anything like this before."

She nodded slowly, resting her chin on the knuckles of one hand as she appraised the girl. She looked adorable. Even more so wearing something so modest and girlie. She decided she didn't want to just say she looked good though. She wanted to say it in a way that would make her truly happy.

“Who's a pretty puppy?"

The life sprang back into Millie's eyes right away. Her backside started to wiggle, sending the hem of the dress spinning back and forth around her knees, as she looked up at the other woman with hope in her eyes, “Is it me?"

CB moved forward to hug her again, more tightly this time, “Yes. Yes, it's you."

"Oh, that reminds me. I got you something." Cassidy moved up along side her now, holding out one hand to show her the little hair clip she had picked out in secret while the others were working on the dress. A little red bow with four loops to mimic a butterfly, "I hope you like it."

Millie's breath caught in her throat for a moment. Of all the things she had lost to the fire that first night at the Kitty, the little plastic butterfly had been the hardest to take. She had worn it everywhere, same as her collar.

"You remembered." Tears started to form at the corners of her eyes, "Thank you, Cassidy. It's perfect."

“You used to chase butterflies around the yard before you Changed. I don't think it ever even occurred to you to try and catch one… So I caught one for you." Cassidy reached up to start clipping it into the hair of her big floppy ear, “You were the best thing that ever happened to me, you know."

Millie waited until it was in place, then moved to take her sister into a hug now, “I love you all so much."

“We love you too." Megan moved in to join them, “Just remember, no matter what happens… We're right here waiting for you."

“You can always come home."

"Conrad..."

The last time she had left the guest house to meet him had been at a run, in a rush of excitement. This time she walked toward his car slowly, clutching her little purse before her with both hands and giving him a gentle smile. Cautious, but hopeful.

He moved forward to meet her the last few steps, his smile bright and confident. She found that somewhat surprising. He'd been more than a little skeptical about the recent changes to their relationship, but none of that trepidation seemed to be present now.

"I've missed you." He took her up in a tight hug, then leaned back to give her a brief kiss, "But things are going to get better. I know it."

She smiled back at him a little wider, feeling a slight surge of encouragement. She took a step back, holding her arms out and giving a little spin, "What do you think? Do I look pretty?"

"You look fine." He said with a chuckle, though not even bothering to look her over with more than a glance. He stepped back in close again to wrap his arms around her once more, "You'll look even better once we get you out of it and into something sexy."

Her smile faded, "Conrad..."

"I know, I know... Take it slow." He chuckled again, "It just feels like it's been forever since we've seen each other."

He pulled back again to give her a kiss, though it caught him by surprise that she turned to take it on her cheek instead. He paused a bit to look at her, even as she leaned in again to put her head against his should briefly, then pulled away to start toward the car. He moved ahead of her to get the door, though he was obviously less than pleased with how that had just gone.

She spoke once he was around and in the driver's seat, giving him a little smile, “Where are we going? I know you said dinner, but I've never had anything fancy before."

“You'll see. I know a place." He smiled back at her and got them on the road toward town, “I used to live out here before I went off to college. I know all the best places."

She nodded and went silent for a minute, before finally deciding to speak again, “I'm sorry this has all been so difficult for me, Conrad. I just want… I just want to start over again. You do understand that, right?"

“It's been made pretty clear to me, at this point." He said with a chuckle, “But it's alright. We can fix this. I've been fixing problems my whole life. That's what I do."

She reached over, gently putting a hand on his leg to give him a smile. This is what she needed from him, and she wanted him to know how much she appreciated it, “I love you, Conrad. That's still true."

He briefly rested his hand on hers to smile back at her, but stayed quiet now. They were about halfway to town several minutes later, and it was then that Millie started to get a little uncomfortable. There was another road that branched off of this one, made of dirt and went off deep into the wilderness. One that ended in the manor she had spent so many years at. She would be much more comfortable once they passed it, but until then she just dropped her eyes so as not to see.

They came back up again as the cat started to slow, and she stared stunned at him as he turned onto the dirt and started off at speed toward the one place in the world she never wanted to be.

The Pretty Kitty.

“Conrad?" Her voiced cracked nervously, “What are you doing?"

“Fixing a problem." He said with a smile, “I'm putting things back they way they were."

“What? Why?" She was starting to panic now, “But you said you were going to…"

“I underestimated Agnes." He said, shaking his head, “She and her people were never going to let me run for office. They'll destroy me before it ever begins."

“No! I won't go back! I can't!" She started to yell, unbuckling herself and practically climbing up on the seat, “Why are you doing this?"

“You used to do what you were told. You used to obey." He was starting to sound more than a little annoyed, “A good dog always obeys. You know that."

“I'm not one of your mutts!" She cried back at him, “Stop the car!"

“Dammit, Laika… I…" He started to sneer back at her.

She drew her arm back and, much to both of their surprise, hauled off and smacked him right across the face,

“My name is Millie!"

The car started to slow almost instantly. He didn't even put his foot on the brake, just letting the uneven dirt road coast them to a stop, sitting there stunned as he looked down at the wheel. She scrambled backwards out the door and a few steps away once it had. The world got quiet for a moment when he shut off the engine. Just the sound of her trying to catch her breath as she stared at him in disbelief.

All she could do was wonder if she had every really known him at all. She had loved him all those years, and now here he was trying to take away her happiness to preserve his own.

“I thought you were different." She whispered quietly.

He smiled at that. He shook his head slowly, still not even able to look at her, “So did I."

They stayed like that a few seconds longer, before she reached in quickly to snatch her purse off the seat and start back out toward the main road.

That was it then, he thought to himself. It was done.

He reached under the seat, pulling out the revolver he kept there. He looked up, adjusting the mirror to watch her walking away. What other recourse did he have? She had defied him, and if he couldn't have her…

“Like a Kennedy, then."

He pressed the barrel against the back of his throat, and pulled the trigger.

It was nothing like a Kennedy. This was the death of an arrogant man, willing to press a woman into slavery just so he could keep her. It was a death by his own hand, because he couldn't have his way. For all his reputation as a fair judge, he was a flawed human being that couldn't handle not being in charge. He had money… He had things… But he had lost all of his power, and that was too much to bear.

The sound of it made her jump, and she turned quickly to look back at the Caddy. She would never know how fortunate it was that so much of what was once inside his skull his was sprayed against the back window at this point. She never would have wanted to see him as he was then. As it was, it would already haunt her nightmares for years.

Eventually she turned back again, starting slowly off back down the dirt road.

It was time to go home.

It wasn't long after hearing the gunshot before the Whippets found the Caddy and the grizzly scene it contained. Charlie, Mitchel and Patrick were standing in front of it, watching as their brother David examined the interior from the passenger door that had been left open. He had the best attention to detail out of the four, and it wasn't the first time he'd done something like this.

"Was she with him?" Charlie broke the silence, arms folded casually despite his serious tone.

"Yeah. She was here." He reached inside gingerly to pluck a single golden brown hair off the seat, examining it for a moment before standing and taking a few steps farther away, "Looks like she headed back to the main road. The footprints aren't very far apart though. She wasn't running."

"Damn fool tried to bring her back here." Mitchel snorted.

"So it would seem." Charlie paused a few moments to consider his options, but there was really only one, "Can you boys get started without me?"

Mitchel wasn't surprised, "Just be quick, brother. Don't make us try and sink this one without you. We don't have Ranger around to help with the heavy lifting anymore."

"Fair enough."

Charlie started walking, pulling his new running gloves out of his back pocket and slipping them on. The other Whippets moved to start the task of pushing the car, collectively eyeballing the steering wheel and the amount of blood splattered on it for a moment. Someone was going to have to use it through the window while the other two pushed from behind. None of them really wanted to volunteer.

There was only one way to decide. Mitchel sighed deeply...

"Rock, paper, scissors?"

Charlie started off at an upright jog at first to loosen up his legs, but before long was down to all fours to make up some time on the girl he was after. About halfway up the road he came across her little red purse, not even slowing as he snatched it off the ground and secured it safely in his teeth. He hit the pavement soon after, taking a long and wide turn to the left and out onto the road. It wasn't as fast as he was capable of by any stretch, but if David was right about her not running then it wouldn't take long.

Sure enough, it didn't. She was barely more than a couple hundred yards away from the turn, walking slowly with her arms at her sides. She seemed to be in a daze, with her phone was practically dangling from her fingertips, at near constant risk of falling to the concrete.

"Millie! Wait up!"

She turned slowly to face him as he approached. There were no tears in her eyes, or any other emotion he could detect for that matter. She seemed emptier inside than he had ever seen her, and he had helped see her go through plenty.

"Millie.... I..." He stopped once he was near her, reaching up to put a hand on her shoulder. He couldn't help but smile despite it all, "I've missed you."

She barely heard him, but after a few moments looked up to meet his gaze, "I was wrong... About everything."

"No, sweetie. You're the only one that's ever been right. This is his fault. This is Agnes' fault." He looked away sadly, "This is... My fault."

"Don't say that." She said, almost angrily so, "You're the only one... The only one that ever tried to help me."

"And I failed spectacularly." He said with a sigh, "I'm so good at plotting and scheming that it scares me sometimes, but for all my clever ploys... What good did they do you?"

"I loved him, Charlie. I did." She turned, letting his hand fall from her arm, "Why wasn't that enough? Why didn't he love me?"

"He wasn't supposed to love you. That wasn't the plan." Charlie huffed, waiting for her to turn back before finishing, "He was supposed to set you free."

She said nothing, so he went on, "All those years you spent seeing him... Did you ever tell him about your family?"

This time her silence was telling. Of course she had talked about them, often at length. Something suddenly dawned on her that never had before. Something that made her blood run cold.

"He never looked for them." Charlie folded his arms now, a look of disgust on his face, "He had a reputation as a good and fair man. He had all the connections in the world as a judge... And he never even looked."

Her eyes fell slowly to the ground, and for a moment he thought she might cry. It worried him that she didn't. He'd seen enough hearts harden and break over time to recognize when a hurt was too overwhelming to even process though, and it was the last thing he wanted to happen now.

"I love you. I'm better for having known you." The words caused her to look back up again, "But I failed you time and time again. All of this... It's my fault. You've done nothing wrong, except to love people that didn't deserve you."

She sniffled a little. It wasn't much, he knew... But it had drawn her slightly back from the brink. He moved forward to take her into a hug. She didn't entirely return it, but leaned into him just the same, even as the unmistakable sound of the old Fifty Four had started to signal its arrival.

But before it did, he just wanted to say it one more time...

"I love you, Millie. I have three brothers..." He kissed the top of her head gently, "And one sister."

Now the hug was returned, and tightly.

"Charlie..."

They stayed like that for the scant few seconds it took for Annabelle to pull onto the shoulder nearby, Megan nearly leaping out of the passenger seat before they had even completely stopped. Charlie drew away to let her rush over, watching as the little woman looked Millie over with worry.

"Are you all right? Are you hurt?" Megan was practically rambling, both of her hands on the little dog's arms as if afraid to lose her again, "Millie, did he hurt you?"

"No, Megan... No... He..."

Millie could see the hurt in Megan's eyes as she said her name. That was not who either of them needed her to be right now. Millie wasn't ready to cry. Not yet. It was too big and too soon, but she needed something from

Megan that Megan needed desperately to be for her. She moved forward gently, wrapping the little woman up tight...

"Mommy..."

Charlie decided to let them have the moment, instead coming around to the passenger side of the truck to lean in on the window.

"Annabelle." He gave her a bit of a nod, "How's Ranger doing?"

"He's doing well, sugar. He's been helping Henry get started on some new foundations so they'll be ready for Spring. He feels useful, I think for the first time in his life." She smiled brightly at first, but it faded somewhat as she regarded him further, "I never thanked you. Not proper."

Charlie shrugged a little, "I'm pretty sure you did last time we saw each other."

"That's not what I meant." She let her arm rest over the back of the seat, "He and I first met because you made it possible. I just want you to know how much I appreciate that."

"I just wanted what's best for him, and he needed something in his life that made him happy." Charlie winked back at her, "Turns out both of those things are you."

They shared a smile. It seemed odd that two people so different could find respect for each other in some way, but they had managed to do so over their mutual affection for another man.

By now Megan had started to lead Millie toward the truck, and it worried her greatly that the little dog had barely let loose with more than a sniffle the entire time. There was a numbness in her that Megan hadn't seen before, but which Charlie knew all too well. He stepped aside to let them climb into the cab, with Megan in the middle so that the two dogs could say goodbye.

"You dropped this." Charlie slipped her little red purse to her through the window, "You look lovely, you know. That dress... It suits you."

"Thank you... I..." She fiddled with the purse a bit in her lap, not really accomplishing anything by doing so, "I miss you."

He reached in to scratch behind her ear, the way she liked so much. Megan couldn't help but notice the affection in his smile as her eyes closed, "We'll see each other again, once things are different. I'll come see you whenever you want. Fiona too, I promise."

"I'd like that." Millie said quietly.

"I should get back. My brothers aren't going to be happy if I let them clean up that..." Charlie caught himself, stopping that train of thought with a bit of a grimace. He drew back instead, giving the top of the truck a little slap,

"Good to see you again, Megan. Drive safe, Annabelle."

They watched as he turned and started to jog away, and it was hard not to appreciate the sight of it. Lithe and graceful, with more power than his often effeminate demeanor would imply. He was born an athlete, pure and simple.

Millie only saw the man she considered family, but had never had the word to put to it. All she saw was her brother. She leaned her head a bit out the window to call after him.

"You're my hero, Charlie."

He slowed a bit, turning to walk backwards for a few paces.

"I'm no hero." He smiled, taking a dramatic bow, "Just the most likable villain."

Then he turned away again, and started off at a run.

No one said anything for a moment. The older women waiting for the hurt girl to let them know she was ready, and after a long pause she did just that. Millie sighed, let her eyes close, and leaned in against her mother gently.

"Take me home."