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The guys and I amassed in the large, group shower together. The Gym, which Gary owned (the pronghorn), was locked up for the night, so we had the whole place to ourselves. It was nice . . . we could all chill together without worrying about anyone walking in on us.

It was a nice quite night. The room was filled with steam, and a hot water felt great on our sore muscles. It was all so . . . gay, showering with a bunch of fags. That much was true.

Most of the guys here have had more cock then I can count. But it was kind of funny though, out of the five guys here, I was probably the youngest. Most of them here were in their mid 30's-40's; I was still in my 20's. I think the only reason I had joined their group because I knew Gary's son. I'll admit, I do feel a little out of place with all these older men, but they're the only group of gay men I kinda got along with.

We just finished our collective shower and started talking about our plans for tonight. I just finished shampooing my fur, running a hooven paw up to my antlers. Alec, the river otter, was talking about a guy he's been seeing the past couple months.

"I think I'm falling for him," the otter smiled. "He's so cute. You know how huskies are." He brought his webbed-paw down his slender chest, rinsing out his brown fur.

It was sweet . . . I think most of the guys here were interested in getting laid, which isn't bad per say. But I think the aspect of falling in love was . . . I don't know, magical? There was a guy a couple years ago that I thought I fell in love with, but I guess, it wasn't meant to be.

One of guys, a wolf, chuckled. "Come on, mate. Show so balls!"

Warren chuffed. The big stallion reached down and cradled his hefty sac. "I got some ball here!"

The guys roared with laughter. The sound reverberated off the walls. I laughed as well, and then blanched when I saw Warren's shaft was half-way out of his leathery sheath. "Dude, you're showing!" I chastised mirthfully over the sound of the laughter and running water.

Warren's equine grin widened. "Just giving the guys something to appreciate what I can offer."

My blush furthered even more as I remembered the times I've fooled around with the stallion. The times I've taken him up the tail . . . a few times . . . I'll admit it took awhile getting used to someone that . . . _thick._It was my first time with any stallion, and though I did enjoy it, I don't think I would search out another again.

Still, the stallion was certainly well renowned.

Actually, I think most of the guys had fucked around the equine, albeit a small group it was.

"How, long have you been seeing this blue-eyed beauty," Paul, the wolf, asked. I'm sure he's never met the husky, but assumed he's has those vibrant whitish-blue eyes--most do.

"Close to eleven months now," the otter answered.

"What have you been doing all this time?"

Alec gave a cheeky grin; the way otters do. "Sitting around reading bibles verses . . . while we came . . ."

I giggled at the image.

A bear named Dunkin asked, "With you, there's always a story with you, so how did you meet this sexy husky."

Alec blushed under his fur, his ears tipping back reflectivity, and his cheeky grin widened. "Well . . . I was really drunk, and I needed a place to sit. So, I ended up sitting on his lap thinking it was an empty bar stool."

"Well, it kinda is," Dunkin chuffed, and once I again the room roared with laughter at the insinuation. "That's what I thought! You always seem to meet guys in the most provocative ways."

Alec rolled his eyes. "It's not like I plan on it. It just happens." He sounded so innocent about it too.

There was some loud snickering.

I tried to think about some of the most lude ways I've meet guys but couldn't seem to hold a candle to the mustelid. Though we teased him about it, he really did have a way with meeting guys, at least from the stories I've heard about the otter. I don't know him well to know for sure.

I was busy listening to the conversation, that I didn't here Gary ask, "What about you Terry?"

My ears perked at the mention of my name. "Hmm?"

The pronghorn ran his head under the shower head he was stationed under. "You got plans for tonight?" he asked again.

Self consciously my ears tipped back. "Thought about going to Howl, do some drinking and dancing." That was only part of the truth. I wasn't too keen on sharing aspects of my life. Always been that way, because it wasn't anyone else's business. I learned long ago, that you can't tell people somethings, meaningful things. It reminded me of the time I told my best friend (at the time) that I am gay, and that he nearly beat me within an inch of putting me in the hospital. I couldn't remember much of what happened after that. He was the first person I ever told I was gay, and what he did to me scarred me. Homophobic prick.

I'm well aware that it scared me, and made me so mistrusting of people, even with a group like this. Something's just can't be helped, I suppose.

"You looking for any hook ups?" he asked.

I paused mid-drying myself. "Yeah . . ." I said at length. "Might look for some tail . . . if I'm drunk enough."

The guys laughed, and after that the guys were off talking about their hottest conquest. I sort of just sat back and enjoyed the dirty conversation everyone was having. And I couldn't help but think back to some of the great lays I've had. But, on top of that, it's all I could remember about some of those relationship: the sex, not how I felt about them.

"Hey," Paul said.

I was over at one of the fur dryers, letting the warm jet of air dry my damp fur.

"Hi Paul," I greeted.

The wolf stood at one of dryers, drying off his fur too. "You going to see him again," he asked softly. Paul was the only one I sort of gotten close too, that I could be honest with.

Maybe it was because he's canine.

I quickly glanced around and made sure no ears were swiveled our way, so instead I just nodded. I didn't feel like straight out admiring it.

Paul gave me a long canine smile. And that was all that needed to be said. I don't know why I told him. It wasn't his business, or why I even care. I suppose it was his demeanor--like a big brother you know you can talk too.

The rest of the guys came and followed suit with Paul and I, drying themselves. The rest of the conversation was cut short, and soon one by one everyone went their own ways. I was the last one inside the gym--besides Gary.

I stood near the back door while he locked and turned off the lights. We wadded into the cool summer-night air. We made our way into the parking lot adjacent to the gym.

Gary pulled his keys out of his pocket and in unlocked the car door. He looked at me and asked, "Hey, did you want a ride home? You're not that far from me."

I shook my head, minding where my antlers were. "Thank you, I'm good."

"You sure," he asked, his voice laced with concern.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna walk to Howl from. It's only a couple minutes away. I don't mind the walk."

The pronghorn gave a burly nod and shrugged. "Okay. Get home safe afterward." He waved as he drove away, and I was alone in an empty parking lot.

The walk to dance club wasn't far per say, and when I breathed in the cool, crisp night air, it felt nice, especially when it ruffled my fur a bit. It sort of calmed this . . . ache inside me, an ache that simply wouldn't be quenched, not until . . .

I stopped the thought short there and checked Knot Me! on my phone. Knot Me! was a popular gay hook up app I've been using for awhile now, though it's predominately used by canines--as you can imagine why. It was an ok app, with some ok hook-ups, at least until my messages were taken up by a red and white furred beauty.

And, I had no replies. Damn. My heart fell a little at that.

The club throbbed with pulsing dance music, the crowd cheering or dancing along with the bass and beat. This was one of the best, well just about the only gay clubs, around the area. The only one worth going to. It was stationed in an old "abandoned" building--at least it did from "front" of the club. The entrance was near back, with an elegant façade that matched the inside with disco lights and glass furnishing.

I quickly headed to the bathroom to quickly release myself before heading to the bar to wait. The bathroom was stationed near the back. The hallway that let the restroom and . . . private areas . . . was long, narrow, that--for the moment, was bottled up from all the people crowding in it. Species, big and small filled the area, so I was constantly touching someone, and had to be careful not to step on anyone's tail.

I'll admit it, the bathroom is always . . . interesting. Because you don't ways know what you're going to see, or hear, when your inside. And sure, enough after I relived myself, and was washing my paws, I heard soft, muffled moans. The sound of rocking in the farthest stall filled my ears.

I just shook my head, and oddly I felt dirty. The act of having sex in public bothered me. I once had a boyfriend--hookup, whatever we were, want me to blow him at the movie theater.

Like I said . . . I didn't have the best luck with boyfriends. Some only wanted to fuck at first, and after I got hurt and used, the latter wanted to be in a relationship; I just couldn't give them what they wanted, didn't want to get hurt again.

After I washed my paws and dried them, I headed out into the throng of people, filling the hallway and dance floor, I headed to the--surprise!--overcrowded bar. And after ten minutes of waiting, I took a sat at the bar.

The bartenders, all of them wore a small uniform that didn't cover up much. They wore an elegant black and white vest, along with cuffs at the wrist and a tight black speedo like underwear that leaves little to the imagination. My bartender was a lanky stout, who ambled over and asked what I wanted to drink. I thought about it before I said the Cumming Unicorn--a rainbow colored margarita with a sugar covered rim, fuck it why not. Possibly the gayest drink you could get, besides . . . they make really good margaritas here.

I surveyed the club, licking the sugar off the rim before taking a sip. My foot tapped away at the pumping, energetic music. They generally played good music here, usually during the weekend. I like this club, and not because I could openly make out with some hot guy.

But like every club, there are always a couple drunk assholes who are looking for some action.

I was halfway though my glass when a tall, muscled stag sauntered over. He stood next me at the bar and leaned in. "Hey, cutie. Mind if I buy you a drink," he asked. His breath reeked of booze, and under the smell of beer, I smelled the faint scent of his arousal.

So . . . It was going to be one of those nights . . .

I put on my best smile and said yes. I wasn't interested, but I wasn't going to turn down a free drink.

The stag's grin widened when I had little of my second margarita left. He pressed against me, more specifically his hardness again my leg. "So . . ." he said at length. "You want to come back to my place and have a little fun?"

I smiled and said, "No thank you, I'm good."

The look on his face was almost comical--a mixer of irradiated and bemused. "What . . .?" he growled.

I looked him straight in the eye and gave him an even look. "I said no."

Before I could react, the stag grabbed my arm and squeezed it. "Look here you little bitch, your co--" he started to say until a charcoal paw landed his shoulder and yanked him away.

"What the fucked," he asked once he regained his balance.

It instantly calmed my nerves when I saw it was Brain.

The tall, toned fox looked at the stag with an expression that meant he wasn't not in the mood to get fucked with. "I believe he said no."

The man was wide-eyed and his nostrils flared. He shook his rack threateningly. "Fuck off! The doe is mine."

It angered me and was demoralizing to be called a doe. But before I could say anything, Brian said, "First of all, asshole, he's a buck, and second of all, he doesn't want to go with you Now leave before I break on of your antlers."

The stage sneered, "Well he sure looks like a doe to me," he waved a paw, "come on, we can share." He sized up Brain. "Besides, I'm sure he'd want someone with a little more size and girth." Slowly, he started to push up into me until he was uncomfortably pressed against me. His paw cropped my ass painfully.

Brian's lips pulled back, baring his fangs, a growl rumbling deep in his chest. "Back off and leave him alone."

The stage him a sour look, and I elbowed him away. "Fine, whatever."

Brian kept his eyes him until he faded into the crowd. The fox came over and gently rested his paw on my shoulder. "Are you ok," he asked. I could see the worry set on his muzzle, and that warmed me so little--considering we only get together for one thing.

I nodded and downed the rest of my drink. "Yes, thank you." Nervously, I scratched the side of my muzzle. I've had drunk guys hit on me before, and had no trouble dealing with them, but having the fox here, relaxed me surprisingly.

Brian sat down on the bar stool next to me and ordered a beer. He took a long chug before wiping his lips with the back of his paw before turning toward me. "It's nice seeing you again . . ." he said. His ears were pinned back and his tail swayed behind him.

The puppy-like manner was absolutely adorable, and I couldn't help but smile. Its not like we haven't met many times before, though this time it had been a long while we had gotten together. I couldn't help but feel the same way.

Brian smiled and grabbed my paw and led me into the dance floor. He put him arms around me, and together we stayed to the music, his yellow eyes focused me . . . .

I adverted my eyes from his gaze and rested my head against his shoulder. I don't know why I keep coming back to--back to him. This only started out as a fuck-n-go, whenever him or I was pent up or stressed, and need to blow some steam. But there was something else that come back, besides the amazing sex. It was like an unseen force that kept driving me back, almost every week . . . almost.

I let these thoughts drift off as we headed to back to the bar, got hammered, and headed back onto the dance floor until we were both pressed against each other. We swayed to a song called "Born To Be Yours" by some artist. Brian's hips and tail swayed gracefully along too the song. I was completely mesmerized by it. When Brian's hips ground against my ass, I felt something hard and pulsing pressed against me--course I'll be feeling it in a different way very soon. I've felt it many times, but tonight it thrilled me more than usual. My guess it was because I was so pent up and need of some release.

Shortly after some more dancing, and a lot more drinks, we staggered to the apartment complex where Brian lived. It was a long and slow walk back to his place. It took us forty minutes to get there, but that gave us some time to sober up a bit. We walked arm in arm, his paw clasped to mine. But I didn't mind, I liked the closeness, and night was nice and cool for the contact.

We head to walk through the less pleasant part of the city. It was dingier here, dirtier. We were in the poor side, and people were less . . . understanding about people like Brain and I. So, I just walked locked with the fox, eyes cast down. Seeing all the dirty looks people gave us.

Brian's apartment loomed in the distance, growing closer with each paw-step. With it, my anticipation and need becoming more apparent. It was like a horny hammer kept pounding me as we rounded the corner, headed inside and up the three flights of stairs, with each step I made. And I noticed, the closer we go, the quicker Brian's lush, bushy tail picked up speed.

By the time we stumbled against his door, our muzzles were already locked together, arms squeezing against each other. I ran a paw under his shirt while my other grabbed his taunt ass and pulled it against me, grinding our hip together.

Brian dug into his pocket to retrieve his key, only to miss the keyhole on the first try. "Shit," he said.

"Come on . . . ! I don't think I can wait any longer, stud," I whined a little to loudly. I gave him a little incentive by pressing paw against the front of his jeans, running a paw all over his bulge. I _really_needed this. My need kept pounding in me and my sheath.

Brian chuckled and said, "Patience." Magically the key went in, and the door miraculously swung up.

"Yes!" I shouted, cupping a paw over my muzzle. "Oops . . ." I forgot it was like, one/two in the morning.

The fox turned again and curled a finger under my chin, raising it. "My silly little buck . . ."

I was caught off guard by the statement, and before I could say anything, Brian pulled me into a kiss. I melted into the kisses, losing myself in it, and his ever-present body contact. I kinda wished this would never end. Like, nothing right now could end this.

That is . . . until the door next us swung open and out stepped a middle-aged ferret. I was so lost in the kiss and his touch, that I hadn't noticed.

She gave us a sour, disgusted look, and scuffed at us. "Disgusting . . ."

I gave her such an offended look. "What the f--"

Before I could finish, Brian said, "Ignore her. It's just us right now." He grabbed my paw and led me into the small two-room apartment. The main part of the room consisted of a kitchen, with an old fridge that looked like it was made in the early nineties, with a sink and two-chair table. Across from that was the main area: a worn-out couch, coffee table, and a small entertainment center. The center had a few items clustered on top, a small flat screen tv, console and a few DVDs laying about. Near the other end of the room was a door that led to the bedroom and bathroom.

All in all, the apartment was sort of bare, with what he could afford, but still managed to make it feel like home for him. The only scent I got was of him, as it always is whenever I'm over. I don't think he has a lot of company over, and for some reason that saddens me.

Speaking of the bedroom, the fox grabbed my paw and led across, and inside, kicking the door closed once we were inside. He pressed against me, holding me before leaning down to kiss. It was gentle and sweet, and I clung to him, hungrily, trying to fit my contours to his. When our hips came together, I felt something stiff press against me.

I forgot I had a tight ach in pants, and judging by the fox's arousing scent, so was he. Though, his scent was a little prominent than mine, not that I minded.

I ran my paw against his chest, feeling the taunt muscles underneath. I nuzzled his neck, inhaling his scent. It caused me to shiver and moan, and I tried to get more that scent, unbuttoning his collared shirt. All I could focus on was the white and orange fur of his chest, white fur that started at his chin all the way down to his stomach to his fuzzy sheath and ball--which were unfortunately still in his pants. But for now, I just enjoyed the sight of his two core fur colors that melted together.

I was mesmerized the lush looking fur, fur that accented his toned muscles, but I wanted to see more, and those damn pants were in the way. I wanted to appreciate him to the full extent.

Slowly, article after article of his clothes was removed until he was in nothing but his fur, and what I've come to recognize as his signature collar--course I had other plans for that collar. And as my eyes trailed down his body, they stopped at his sheath. Amidst the sea of white, his red tip peaked out. I was actually surprised, I thought for sure he would have been already out of his sheath.

I pushed him back against the bed until he was forced to sit down. I kept my eyes focused on his sheath, as I crawled over. My paw rested on his furry pouch, gently caressing it, and Brian gave a pleasant sigh. I worked him out more and gave firm rubs to the shaft that lay within.

Once Brian was partly out, I took his tip into my muzzle, taking the first lap. His tip dribbled salty pre onto my tongue. I groaned as I got a nose-full of his musky scent. Some people are put off by foxes' scent, but I found his intoxicating.

It wasn't long until his length was all the way out, all accept his knot, which appeared to be peaking inside his sheath. Seeing him fully out, reminded me that I was painfully hard inside my pants.

I got up and gave the fox a bit of a show, taking my clothes of with grace. He seemed to be liking that because his grinned widened once he saw I was already out of my sheath, and together we embraced, sheath to sheath, fur to fur, his tongue invading my muzzle. Everything was so hot and charged with need, it made my shaft throb and my tail hike up.

Brian sat back down the edge of the bed and eyed me with predator gaze. His eyes went down my body, his muzzle twitching once they settled on my cock. His paws tightened on the bed sheet, and his tail swisher behind him.

I blushed under my fur, feeling mildly embarrassed for some reason. We've seen each other naked a lot of times, and of course had sex a lot too, but I seemed every time was new and exciting, like it was the first time. It was refreshing that I could get his hard seeing in every time, maybe that's just my cock talking. Right now, I need some cock, and I needed it now.

Again, I got back onto my knees and cupped the fox in my paws before taking him to my muzzle, slowly working him in and out. As I bobbed up and down on him, he rested his paw on my head, gently scratching my ear. I moaned onto his shaft, with made him groan.

I got into a nice rhythm, switching from blowing him, to working my tongue against his length. I ran my tongue from his tip down to the base of his musky sheath, giving a little attention his swelling knot. The act of taking his knot made my cock leak and throb; it was thrilling and natural.

His paw came down and raised my muzzle slightly. I looked up, cock still deep in my muzzle. Underneath the lust, I saw something genuine in his eyes, something more: affection perhaps.

I blushed and looked away, something about that made me feel embarrassed. I continued sucking him off. The sound of his heavy pants distracted me from . . . other less pressing thoughts on my mind.

Thoughts that revolved around the fox above me.

Once I was satisfied with my work and got him worked up enough that ever his knot was free. I pushed him into the bed until his back was against the head stand. Then I grabbed the cloth cords in my back pocket, tying his wrist to the post on each side.

That caused him to raise a brow but gave no abjection otherwise. And I admit, I've always wanted to do this. Apparent so did he; he gave weak little struggles to his bindings. I typed them tight enough that they wouldn't come undone easily, but loose enough that he could get out of them if need be.

Next, I reached into the nightstand next to his bed and pulled out the conveniently placed leash and bottle of lube. I used one paw to hook the lease to his collar while I used the other to uncap the bottle--it took some practice and experience to do it with one paw--and slowly ran a slick paw over his already slick red mass.

And once my tailbone was all lubed up, I stretched forward, eyes on him, while I ground my ass against his shaft. He gave some half-hearted thrust until I could see him practically begging with his eyes.

I planned on giving it to him, but first, I had to . . . help me out first . . .

I scooted closer until I was straddling his chest, waving my shaft in front of his muzzle. I gently pulled into the collar, bring his muzzle until my tip touched his lips. He got the when I brushed my tip against his lips, and instinctively his tap came out and lapped at my tip.

I shuddered as his tongue teased my tip, and I reached down patting his head, saying, "Good boy."

The fox under me rumbled, grinning slightly. With each stroke of his tongue sent a shockwave of pleasure through me. Then he took me inside his muzzle, and I had to bite back a squeeze, because talking was too much right now.

The fox sure knew how to use his tongue, ok bring it from the base of my sheath to tip. With just my tip pressed against his tip, he sucked on it gently . . . God, this was starting to become too much.

I took control once again and slowly worked myself in and out his muzzle, and the fox took it without complaint. Actually, I think it turned him on more, because when I reached back, I found his knotted shaft even more slick--and not just from the lube.

He continued sucking me until I start to feel my climax build, and I'd rather blow my load in a different way.

I pulled back until my tip just barely touch his black lips. I laughed when I saw his expression, quit disappoint, and reached down and kissed his forehead. "Now, do you really want to end our night so quickly?" I asked, playing with his slick cock, teasing him.

Brian's tail thumped against the bed, and he gave a long lupine grin. Then he squirmed when I began playing with his red knot. I continued this for a little while longer, just because I could.

As fun as this is, enough of the foreplay, time for the real fun.

I reached behind me and guided him under my tail under my tail. The tip entered first, and the first half inch slide in until he was an inch inside.

Brian gave an impatient whine until he thrust half his shaft him.

I bit back a pained yelp, mentally wincing. That hurt . . .

Brian tried to shrink away from the deadly glare I gave him, until o grabbed the lease and yanked it close to me, stretching his arms a little. "Try that again, and I shove your own dick up your ass, knot and all . . ." I growled.

His ears quivered and shook his head vigorously.

I thought popped in my head, and I grinned mischievously. "Too bad! For punishment, we're taking this nice and slowly. Get ready for long night."

The look on his face said it all: fuck me . . . .

Not quite just yet . . . I thought. Slowly, painfully slowly, I sank into him, and need in me as almost unbearable. My cock throbbed with every inch of him inside me, and when his tip tapped my sweet spot, I gave a muffled moan. I want to get fucked as badly as he did. But . . . A punishment is a punishment.

His shaft was all the way inside, with his knot just resting outside. The hard thumping of his tail, told me he was enjoying this.

Good, I'm glad. Because I was going to make him work for it.

I pulled up sharply before slowly defending back down, impaling myself on him again, rest with him still inside for a minute or two. I gently ground my ass against his hips, giving the barest thrust.

Brian ears fell back and his gave a submissive wine. "Oh god . . . please . . ." He grit. He tried to thrust, himself, it I had the leverage, and I was going to use it!

Again, I repeated the process until I'm sure he hit every spot inside, and even though, it was getting to me as it was him. That's when I began to pick up the pace, riding his shaft hard and fast. With each pace of him inside, sent a surge of pleasure through me to my cock. It kept making me leak a constant flow of pre, that stained both of our fur.

In and out worked him. I soon felt his very prominent knot pressed again my entrance. It throbbed against me, and I felt the need to by tied surged in me. It seemed to be the only way to get off when I'm with him. There was just something primal and animalistic about being tied, even more so if we doing in a different position.

I leaned down and kissed him, fucked him. My climax was quickly rising, pounding inside me with each thrust of Brain's red shaft, and once again I was lost to the sensations the fox gave me, and in the intense and passionate kiss we shared.

The pleasure was starting to become to intense and let out a vocal moan, "God Brain, please keep fucking me ass, so close . . . !" I said this the encourage him to go all out on my tailbone, but smugly to get back the woman next door for scowling at us.

And sure, enough there was a hanging against the all and the ferret barked out, "Shut the fuck! Disgusting degenerates . . ."

I couldn't help but grin as I took Brian's pounding. It all felt to amazing, and I wished mine would never end, and like I said my climax was quickly approaching from the intensity of his thrust.

Brian was getting close too with hard he and kept hammering into me, desperately trying to shove his throbbing knot into me, but without warming he leaned forward, as for as his restraints would let him, lips mashed against mine; his thrust slowed to a intimate pace. He placed both paws on either side of my muzzle--or at least it felt like it, cause when I opened my eyes after, his paws were still tied--and deepened the kiss as he held me close to him, slipping tongue inside and against mine. His thrust all but stopped there, and together stayed like this, almost frozen.

Yes, I could still_very_ much feel him inside me, the urgency had subsided to something else. Something that made emotions swell up inside me. And against my will, I began to try, unable to stop the trickling tears. But I didn't want him to see me like this, so I broke the kiss and buried my face against him neck, silently shuddering.

Come on, stop this! You're crying for Christ sake, I told myself, quickly wiping my eyes before pulling away and right back into the fox. I was about say something before Brian's tip touched that one spot inside me, reinvigorating the need inside. I actually almost forgot we were having sex to get off . . . not to make love.

Brian just looked up at me, grinning, his tail thumbing against the bed. Slowly slid out and then slide back in, wiggling his hips around.

That caused me to gasp and then moan as he tapped my prostate again. I shivered as I rocked back and forth on his shaft, teasing his knot outside.

Brian moaned, "God, your beautiful." Again, I blushed at the statement. To have him call me that well . . . it made certain parts of me swell (or maybe that was just cause of the pressure his tapered tip was pushing my prostate).

I smiled and then pulled back up and sank back down onto him hard. "You're not bad looking yourself."

"Would you say I'm the most handsome fox?" he asked, nudging himself inside a little more, to get cozy I'm sure.

Despite his cock still in me, I could tell that our sex was turned into something like romantic teasing, but I'll play.

Rubbing my chin, I pondered it. _God, your hot as fuck!_The thought at unprovoked, but not untrue. He was downright gorgeous, if I'm being honest. I think that's one of the reasons I was attracted to him. And I hoped I was better the care about appearances.

"You are, and very_big_ might I had.," I said. I repeated our slow, hard fucking a few more times, before picking up pace.

Again, we were reaching that euphoric feeling--our climax building until we hot and panting heavily. The pleasure was almost too much; I quickly getting close, and it was too much. I fucked him harder and fast, desperately working his knot inside.

Harder and harder I pushed until stars and fireworks filled my vision when, finally, his knot slipped inside. It filled me completely, his knot against my prostate. I shuddered was I came onto his chest. My paws clenched his shoulders as my climax subsided, still he continued to fuck me, giving short thrust with knot lodged inside me.

"God, I'm right there behind you," he said. He gave one more powerful thrust until he howled out and came inside.

Warmth filled me with each throb of his shaft, together we stayed still, my spent shaft laying in the sticky mess on his fur. I collapsed into the fox's limited embrace, and together we waited for his knot to soften. It usually took a couple minutes before he could pull out.

I rested my head against his chest, being mindful of wear my antlers were, and not to accidently like him with them. I ran a finger against this velvety-soft orange and white fur. Without the haze of sex on my mind now, I began thinking about us, I guess. It's obvious he cares about me. I knew it for awhile, and I cared for him too--though to which degree I wasn't sure. He made me feel safe and comfortable with him. I didn't have a care in the world with him in here, like this.

I'll admit for the fast couple weeks I've struggled with the thought of asking Brain on a date, a proper date. As much I enjoy our annual hook-ups, I want to get to know more of him . . .

God, I was in love with my fuck buddy--how cliché is that? Stupid universe. I guess I better just accept it. I was tired of just getting together and fuck each other's brains out, I urged for something for with the fox. It was . . . weird. I didn't expect to, course ever does. There were some guys I thought I was falling for, but didn't feel that spark--mostly because I think they were prey. Something about being intimate with a predator was thrilling, like something animalistic that was long forgotten.

My mother would kill me if she knew I was hooking up with a predator . . . even though my mother knows I'm gay, she's still bit of traditionalist. She always tries to set me up with prey type-of days: other bucks, horse, even a gazelle once. But keep it in the species, right? She doesn't have anything against predators--so she says--but she's had some bad relationships with those type of people.

Brian gave his wrist a sharp tug and easily broke from his bindings and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in close. One paw stroked my back while the stroked the base of my ear. He shifted slightly to get comfortable, and I winced when it caused him to shift inside me.

I just laid there, pressed again. My head rose and fell with every breath he took, my nose buried into his chest fur, his scent in my nostrils. The sound of his beating her filled my ears, and his heat tickled my nose.

After while I felt like I had to say something, but all I could manage was, "So . . . how was your, um, day?"

Brain looked down into my eyes, eyebrow quirked. "My day . . . ?"

I smiled. "Yes, how was--wha-what?" I giggled nervously at his expression.

He rested his paw against my forehead and teasingly asked, "Are you feeling ok?" The corner of his lip pulled into a quirky smile.

I rolled my eyes and glared at him, swatting his paw away. "Yes, yes I feel fine. Is there something around about me asking?"

"No--Nothing . . ." He cleared his throat. "You just don't normally ask how my 'day is'."

That was true, even I don't know why asked; it was the only thing that came to mind. I guess this was just me trying to reach out. "So?" I said, trying the word out.

His yellow eyes met mine. "It was okay . . ." He flicked a ear back nervously. And after that the conversation stopped immediately and we fell back into silence. It killed me because I really was trying to connect with him. But like I said, all we usually do when we get together is, well fuck.

So, I just laid there, wrapped in two orange mounds of muscle, and said nothing. Shit.

It took about twenty minutes for his knot to soften, and slowly he pulled out. His knotted shaft slid out with mild discomfort. Brian reached under the bed pulled out a small towel to clean himself.

I laid still against him. Usually Id get up, go the bathroom and clean myself before heading out. But this time I didn't feel like it. My eyelids felt heavy and body felt sluggish with tiredness. Besides, I really didn't want to make the hour back to my place.

Brain seemed to sense this was he craned his neck down, and asked, "Aren't you going to get ready?" I didn't sense any irritation in the question, more curiosity then anything else.

I looked up and gave him and lazy smile. "No, I think I might crash here tonight. Do you mind?"

The fox shook his head, and his tail began thumbing against the bed happily. He squeezed me tightly against his body before kissing me.

My fur bristled at the suddenness, before for it calmed down, and I was able to enjoy the kiss. Without urgency of sex, the sleep slowly gripping my body, a thought kept popping in the back of my head. All I wanted to do was cuddle with the giant warm pillow under he.

My pillow shift himself until my back was pressed against him, arms curled around my waist protectively. He shifted a little more until he was able to rest his long muzzle on my shoulder, occasionally bathing my neck with is tongue. The feeling and act was every sensual and enduring.

I wanted to get lost in his touch, his velvet-soft for, or the warmth of his breath my neck for; but I could keep my mind from swimming in my head, one though in particular.

I turned around until we were muzzle to muzzle, a curious look in his eyes. "I . . ." I started to say. But the words were caught in my throat. I mentally shook my head and uttered, "I think I love you."

Brian's eyes widened, his cheek-ruffs a bright red. And instantly his tail was wagging so hard and fast it shook the bed and he pulled me into a passionate kiss. He pulled back and looking into my eyes. "Wow . . . really?"

I simply nodded.

I quickly turned away, unable to look back into his eyes, at least not for the moment. So instead, I reached down and played with the fox's sensitive knot. It hadn't gone enough to go back into his sheath. When my fingertips touched it, Brian's tail bristled, and his leg jumped.

Brian whimpered under his breath. "Sorry . . . my knot is still a little sensitive."

Oh that I knew much about. Knots are fun things to toy with canines. I've been with plenty of canines to know. I don't know why; I've always been into canines. I've dated with within my species; it was ok, just something about taking a knot--being with a canine--was . . . well, makes my deerhood leak something fierce.

"Please," he begged.

I sighed, chuckling. "Oh, alright . . . take the fun out of it." I slowly got up and got off the bed. Brian's widened, panicking.

"I'm just going to clean up, and I'll be back quickly," I assured the fox, and made my way into the bathroom, clicking the door locked. I rested my back against the door, staying like this for a couple seconds before collecting my thoughts. Every instinct told me to run and bail. But I quickly squelched those thoughts. You want this, I told myself.

My ears perked as I heard Brian shift on the bed. I don't know how, I just sensed he was watching the door, attentive.

Taking a deep, long breath, I went about cleaning myself, especially under my soon-to-be sore ass. Then I quickly brushed my fur down, and used a little of Brian's bottle of scent so I didn't stink.

I walked over to the door, my paw on the doorknob, and froze. I couldn't bring myself to open the door. Why was I so hesitant? I already admitted my feelings, but was wondering if I made a mistake. Being in a serious relationship, terrified me. I--

I smelled him before I heard the knock. "Terry?" he asked. "Are you okay in there?"

I don't know, I wanted to say. I quickly shook my head and pulled a door open to the fox's worried face. His tall black ears were flattened, muzzle creased with concern, even his tail was scarcely still.

I smiled, and said, "Sorry it took so long, I just wanted to make sure I was clean and didn't smell."

Brian's long muzzle leaned in, scenting the air around me before grinning, and help his paw out.

I guess he approved. I took his paw and together we got back on the bed, under the covers. His arms reached around me and he pulled me close to him, back against chest. He turned around, turning his lamp off before resting his muzzle against my shoulder. Within five minutes or so, he was sound asleep.

I on the other paw, was wide awake. Many thoughts ran through my head, one in particular--over and over again in my mind--was, "What the hell am I doing here?" Why was I so ensnared by this fox in particular? I've been with a few foxes before. Sure they were attractive, and were great lays, but I could go without seeing them again. This one though . . .

I laid there in wait, and as soon as I knew Brian's was asleep, I warmed my way out his arms and bed. My mind kept telling me to get out of here. I just started pulling my pants back on when I looked back at him, sound asleep. Instantly, I felt guilty.

I mentally growl to myself before kicking my pants off and thought, Fuck it . . . I too tried to argue with myself and make the walk back home.

I crawled back into bed, and as on instinct, Brian wrapped himself around me again. My arms laid limply across his body; muzzle crunches up against his chest. My sheath was also pressed against his, and I could feel his tip peaking out. That made my own start to free itself. I told my cock and to shut up and quiet down. By some miracle I went back inside my sheath, and tried to focus on falling asleep. How can I not under the covers with a gorgeous man, and his body heat tickling my skin?

I took a few deep breaths and just tried to relax. I closed my eyes, and what felt like forever, I finally fell asleep. Course I woke up a few times in the night, either to take a piss or out of nerve. And each time I got out of bed, my eyes were locked onto the door, wanting to leave. But quilted those thoughts each time; I told myself just see this out and go with it.

But that was easier said than done.

I got back into bed once again, and this time, I think I actually slept through the rest of the night. Thank God . . .

A loud, blaring noise jolted me awake. I lazily looked around for what was causing he offending noise: it was Brian's phone going off at . . . Fuck, 7:30?

The fox grumbled something unintelligible to himself before thrusting his paw out and slamming the snooze button. He shifted around until he was facing me and slowly opened his eyes. "Morning handsome," he murmured. He shifted close, pressing g our bodies and noses together.

I shivered against his touch, my ears blushing. It made my loins tingle with excitement, especially since I could feel his morning wood pressed against my own.

I leaned forward, licking his nose before giving him a lite kiss. "Hey, that was my line . . . besides, feels like your ready for another round, sly fox."

Brain inhaled sharply when I ground our ready members together. "Mmm . . . has great as this feels, and as tempting as that sounds, I'm really to tired too."

"Really?" I asked. I reached down and wrapped my fingers around his damp tip and sheath. I grinned when I saw squirm against my touch and teasing.

After I had my fun, I let go of him, and I heard Brain groan, "Thank God . . ." into his pillow. But I did have to agree with him: I was exhausted myself, with how little I slept last night. My cock said yes, but my body and eyelids were screaming no.

I lazily nodded to Brian before crawling back into the fox's waiting arms. We laid there for a couple of minutes, enjoying the silence and each other's touch. I think I passed out before he did because maybe two or three hour later, I was woken up by him shifting off the bed.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," I heard him say. "Want to join me?"

I thought about it before I shook my head and said, "No, I'm good. I'll take one when I get home."

His long vulpine muzzle peak out of the bathroom. "Are you sure?" he asked, fully stepping out in all his naked glory and rested his back against the door frame. His red shaft had retreated back into his sheath--which I was a little disappointed to see. "I was hoping to take you out for breakfast--as I proper date, I guess," he paused, "Would you go on a date with me--for breakfast?"

I stood there in silence, digesting what he just said. An actual date? My stomach gave me go conflicting feels: tied with knots, but light with butterflies. I was unsure how I felt about it. But I did promise myself (and him silently) last night that I'd see this through. He's so sweet and kind to me, that I will to give it a try . . . .

"Um . . . Wow . . ." I managed to murmur. My mind was still blank.

The fox flicked his eyes at me before dropping them again, his tail tip swishing in thought and anticipation. He was waiting, I had to have a answer for him.

I smiled. "Yes, I'd like that." I sat upright on the bed, draping my legs over the edge and stretched out. I moaned as I felt my joints pop.

The corner of Brian's lip lifted up before he walked over and rest his paws on my shoulders. "I'm going to head downstairs and check if I have any mail. Why don't you go hope in the shower while I'm gone?"

I nodded and watched as the fox dressed himself quickly and left the bedroom. I waited until I heard the front door close before I got up and stepped into the fog filled room. Breathing in the warm mist was refreshing; it helped clear the remnants of sleep from my mind, and now that I was fully awake, I noticed my ass was sore from last night. It kinda hurt to sit down.

God, I was fucked so roughly last night--a little rougher than I intended. But . . . a little bit of it was my fault. I did ask him to give it to me.

I winced at the soreness before stepping into the hot shower. The water felt nice against my fur, which felt a little grimy and greasy from last night--guess I didn't clean all the cum out of my fur. I was in the shower for a good ten/fifteen, enjoying the shower. I look at the shampoos bottles he had in here, uncapping them and taking a sniff of each one. The third bottle was my favorite, so I used that to wash my fur.

When I was done, I turned the water off and stepped out. Brian must be back, because I heard the bed sheets rustling, as if someone was making the bed. I stuck my head out of the bathroom to see the fox doing what I thought he was doing.

"Hey, do you have an extra toothbrush?" I asked.

His ears flicked. "Yeah, I think I have a spare in the medicine cabinet," he said as her rearranged the pillows.

I opened the small mounted cabinet until I found the toothbrush. Brian had extra-strength toothpaste for predators, for the meat I eat I suppose.

The bedroom was nice and picked up by the time I head out, towel wrapped my waist. I walked over and rest my paw on his shoulder, and asked, "Where we eating?"

"A small diner near by called Anna's. They make amazing pancakes," he said, grinning. He held me close and nuzzled my ears.

I giggled and pressed our lips together. "Sounds great, now go shower. I'm getting hungry."

He dislodged from me and started to head for the bathroom.

"Hop to it," I called after him.

He turned out and gave me a bashful look, before doing a little hope past the threshold and closed the door.

I couldn't help but smirk. Once I heard the shower being turned on, I went about collecting my cloths from last night and started putting them on. I didn't really want to put on dirty cloths, but I didn't have anything else to wear. I suppose I could ask if I could borrow some of his cloths; they probably wouldn't fit though.

I stuffed my phone into pocket, and was about to grab my wallet when there was a knock on the door. I froze unsure what to do. "Um . . . Brain, someone's at the door," I called into the bathroom.

"Shit, I just got out," he said. "Can you get that? It's probably the landlord saying she got a complaint about last night."

"Uh, sure . . . ." I answered and headed out of the bedroom to the apartment door. When I opened the door, I was surprised to see a young male fox standing outside. He looked to be about the same age as Brian. "Can I help you," I asked nervously.

The fox's ears flick, and he said, "Yeah, is Brian here?" There was a tone in his voice that I didn't like.

"Can I ask who's calling for him?" I tried to ask with indifference, but there was an edge to my words.

Now the fox's ears splayed in annoyance and his tail bristled. "His boyfriend," he barked.

I took a step back, my heart stopping. "Um, do you want to come in?" I asked, stumbling over my words.

He rolled his eyes and shook his muzzle. "No, just tell him Tommy stopped by, ok." And with that he walked away, raising his tail as he descended the stairs.

Stunned, I closed the door. He has a boyfriend? Was Brain cheating on his boyfriend with me So many thoughts rocketed through my head. It was just hard to wrap my head around. But the evidence was there, why else would some random fox say he was Brian's boyfriend.

I should talk to him about, but the small flicker of anger fueled me. Right now, I wanted to get out of here, and leave the thinking for later, to hurt to think about anything else.

Talk to him, I told myself. Fuck! I was stuck between staying and leaving. He could lie about his boyfriend, and I didn't want to hear it.

The bathroom door opened and out stepped Brian. There was a smile on his lips, a sparkle in his eyes and a happy wag to his tail. That all disappeared once he saw me. "What's wrong?" he asked worried.

I shook my head, prisisant thoughts away. "Nothing, I'm fine," I said coldly. It surprised the both of us.

His ears dipped down. "Please, what's the m--" he started to say.

"I'm leaving," I said suddenly, interrupting Brian. I turned around and headed for the door. Brian followed close behind me. He tripped over something and muttered, "Fuck," under his breath. "Wa-wait . . . please."

I just kept walking. I didn't want to hear any of it.

His paw came to rest on my shoulder, and he turned me around. His ears were all the way down and his tail dropped. "Please, tell me what's wrong? Are we going to fast?" The sincerity in his voice hurt.

With a small amount of courage, I looked him in the eyes. "Why don't you ask your boyfriend what's the matter instead," I said. All I got was confusing look until realization made his body stiffen.

That was all the proof I needed, and headed out.

I was about fifteen minutes into my walk that I realized I forgot my wallet at his place. "Fuck . . . ." I muttered to myself. Great. I had no money to call for a ride, and it'll take me about an hour and a half to walk back home. Fuck. This is just great. Now I wished I had driven here instead of taking that walk.

Fuck me.

By the time I got home, I was exhausted. I fell onto my bed and shoved my face into my pillow, yelling into it. I was angry at Brain for fucking around with me when he had boyfriend; but I was more so angry at myself for let my emotions get the better of me, and for letting myself think I could have relationship.

My phone rang next to me, and I worried it was Brian. But I never gave him my number, so I wasn't worried there. It was my father anyway, I answered. "Hi, Dad."

"Terry, how've you been," Dad said.

"Good, Dad. What's up."

"Your mother and I are still wondering if coming over next weekend."

Ah, shit. I forgot about that. "I'll drive over after work."

"Oh, your mother wants to know if you went on that date with the caribou she suggested."

"Actually, I'm dating a guy I met at the local gay club." The words flow out of my muzzle, and I instantly regretted it. I cupped a paw over my muzzle. I couldn't believe I said. Brain and I weren't officially dating, so why did I say that?

Instantly Mom was on the phone. "What? When did this happen?" she asked. "Is he a handsome stag?"

"He's . . ." I started to say, but instead switched to, "You'll get to meet him soon. I might bring him to dinner with me." Dude, what the fuck are you doing?! My brain screamed at me. And I was wondering the same thing. As far as I knew Brain was being unfaithful, and I just walked out on him as he tried to explain himself to me.

Besides, Mom would kill me if she knew I dating someone who wasn't prey type.

"Honey, that would be lovely." I could all but hear the sparkle in her voice. "Alright well, your father and I have to head out, but we're looking to forward seeing you, and your handsome fellow next weekend."

"Of course, love you Mom."

"Love you too sweetheart." Click, the line went dead, and laid back into my pillow and groaned. God, what the fuck am I doing?

I pulled up the app on my phone, my thumb hovering over the button. I wanted log on and see if the fox had messaged me, cause I hadn't given him my number yet. But I couldn't. I love him, and that part me of that could forgive him.

Deciding to leave this alone for another night, I put my phone down just to pick it up as it rang loudly. "Hello," I answered.

"Hi Terry, can you work tonight?" It was my manager.

Uh . . . Shit, I don't really want to go into work today, but I got bills due soon, so I said yes. I work as a waiter at a diner called Aunt Mary's. The pay wasn't great, but it's better than nothing. And hopefully tonight it'll help distract me from Brain. But I still didn't have my wallet, and ill have to see him eventually to get it back.

"What time do want me tonight?" I asked.

"Two to eight? We're expecting to have a rushing around that time."

I sighed. "Ok." I had about three hours until I had work, so I rested my arm against my eyes and tried to take a quick nap.

As assumed, the diner was pretty busy for the evening rush, and it was mostly college kids and old couples that came in. So, my manager was very grateful I came in.

I decided to take my break for the last two hours of my shift. I sat in one of the empty booths, phone in paw. My phone told me I had a few messages from Knot Me, and I'm sure most of them from Brain. I'll admit it, and against my better judgment, I wanted to check my messages to see what he sent.

And I was about to when one of my friends, an ermine named Jenny sat down next to me. "Aren't you going to get something to eat?"

My ears tipped back, and I said, "Can't, I don't have my wallet on me."

"Well, that won't do." She dug into her apron and pulled out a ten-dollar bill and held it out to me. "Go get something to eat."

I stared at her paw until I shook my head. "I can't take that. It's your money, I think I'll survive without food for a bit," I said, but my stomach grumbled in hunger. That's right, I haven't eaten since I got home earlier on in the day and that was six/seven hours ago.

Jenny rolled her eyes at my protest, and got up. No more than a minute later she game back with a bottle of coke and a deli sandwich. "Here you go," she said as she placed the food down in front of me.

"Jenny you--" I started to say until she told me to enjoy and walked away. I'll have to remember to treat her to dinner one of these nights.

So, with nothing more to do, and encouragement from my stomach, I started eating the veggie sandwich she got me. I was almost finished when a familiar scent hit my nose and a fox slid into the booth next to me.

"Hey . . ." he said.

I swallowed the bit of food in my maw, almost choking on it. The food painfully slid down the throat, so I took a sip of coke to clear it. "Hi," was all I said.

Brain reached into his coat pocket and pulled out my wallet. "You left this at my place."

"Thanks." I took the wallet back in stuffed it onto my pants. I was about to ask him how to knew there I work until, I remembered I had my keycard in it, so I couldn't swipe it to clock in earlier today.

I stared at Brain, and he stared back, his ears perked and attentive.

"Mind if we talk about this morning?" he asked.

"Sure," I said, curing myself for give him my time. I shouldn't, but to be honest I was curious as to what he'll say.

"Who was it that came to the door that morning?"

I shrugged. "Some fox."

"Uh huh, and was it name Tommy?"

I wanted to lie and say someone else, but my ears flicked at the name, giving me away. "Okay, yes it was Tommy?"

Brain sighed and rubbed the bridge of his muzzle between his fingers. I couldn't help but smile, it was kinda cute.

Damn it, stop being cute, I thought. I didn't want to think of him being cute right now. But, dammit I just couldn't help it right now.

"Tommy is my ex. The little bastard won't leave me alone."

"Your . . . Ex?" I asked out loud, though that was mostly to myself.

"Yeah, it took me awhile to understand what you were talking about, but at that time you were long gone. I left you a few messages on Knot Me to explain, but you hadn't checked any of them, and I didn't have your number to text you."

My face felt flush, and I couldn't help but give him an apologetic look. His paw reached out for mine, and instinctively I took his. My heart fluttered in my chest; my fur stood on end at his touch.

I withdrew my paw a few seconds later and looked him directly in the eye. "How do I know you're not lying?" I asked as seriously was I could. The thought that he could be lying was chipping away in the back of my mind.

I had to be sure.

Brain sighed and gave a little growl in the back of his throat. He pulled out his phone and showed me his recent messages from someone named Tommy.

Tommy: Morning handsome ;)

Brian: I told you don't text me anymore, in busy right now

Tommy: But I came to see you, and something funny happened. Some twinkish buck answered your door. He's CUTE; I approve.

Brain: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!

_Tommy: Oh, I only said hello, and asked for you. That's ALL (_I could practically hear the smarminess the text)

Brain: Bullshit! He ran straight out of my apartment, saying talk to my boyfriend.

Tommy: Oh yeah! Did I forgot to mention I said I was your boyfriend? Boy, you sure know how to pick them. Should seen the look on his face.

Brian: Fuck you!

And that's were the text ended. I stared at the phone, rereading his messages. I felt Brain watch me and looked up to see the slight tip of his ears, and half-smile he gave me until it disappeared. "Before you and I started this . . . thing, Tommy and I had been dating for a bit, and he was a nice guy. Then after a while he started to get clingy and possessive--and jealous. Look," he started to say, "I broke it off with him a long while go, before I started seeing you. The first night we met. He wouldn't leave me alone, and it was stressing me out. I needed to release some steam; you helped me out with that."

I couldn't help but smile, and when his paw reached out for mine, I took it. It was warm and gentle. "I understand stress. My mother wants to find a nice buck to meet. She . . . won't be happy about me . . . _seeing_any predator type of people. What can I say? My mother's ok with me being gay, but God forbid, I date a fox." I found myself sputtering out nonsense I'm he wouldn't care about, so I got to the point. "Anyway, it was like after my third date with some gazelle, that I hold her to stop hooking me up, and as you said, I need to blow of some steam."

"So," he said. "Care to try this whole dating thing again." He raised his muzzle and looked down it at me. One of his ears was slightly tipped back, eyebrow raised, and a curl of his lips.

I couldn't help but giggle. He looked so adorable like that. Squeezing his paw, I nodded. Cause it was time to jump in feet first. "I would like that."

My fox gave me a very canine smile, before he started to get up.

I raised my paw, clasping his and gently tugged his back down. "I know we didn't get to have any breakfast this morning like we planned, but mind if we shared some desert? We make a mean Lemon Mirage pie."

Brian licks his lips. "Sounds delicious--especially if I get to share it with you?" I still had five minutes left, so that was plenty of time left. I went up and gave Jenny the ten I owed her, to her reluctance, bought a slice of by, and sat back down, giving him the plate.

We were almost finished when a thought popped in my head--a terrible thought I'm sure. I gave him a bit of a sheepish smile, and instantly his eyebrow lifted. "I'm visiting my parents, I thought you mind like to join? I know this is extremely soon, but what better way to get it out of the way?"

His beautiful eyes widened slightly. "Are you sure? What is they don't like me?"

I gave a short nervous laugh. "What's not to like?" was all I was able to come up with. But it's true. My fox was very like able.

Brain smiled, and I could her his tail beating against the seat. I guess that's all I need. I've kept myself guarded for a long time. I'm _really_trying to open up here, and it's hard. But, I want to try--because of him.

God, my mother is going to kill me.