Stupid Hike
While out on a hike one day, a college boy encounters a strange girl who's mind has been regressed to a monkey-state and other weird troubles follow...
The sun hanging in the sky as long as it could that cool summer afternoon. The first shades of dusk had pierced the cloudless sky atop that peaceful suburb Wetwood Springs. Gusts of wind occasionally shook the tree branches. Birds were chirping, dogs were barking, little kids played.
Randal was on his way to the hills just outside of town, ready to have a nice hike. He had left his home and out towards the park. He passed by some other college homes. Out in front of one of them, on the front porch, there were a few kids his age including Red, a classmate of Randal's, sitting out front playing on a handheld video game device. Red peaked over his glasses to see Randal walking down the sidewalk.
"Yo Randy!" said Red getting up and walking to the edge of his porch, "You off to go hiking again?"
The other kids on the porch drew their attention at Randal. Randal could spot Laney, another one of his classmates, a girl he liked.
Randal had done it before, spend his Friday nights going hiking at the hills outside of town. Randal nodded, "Yeah."
"Why do like hiking in the hills so much?"
Randal replied, "I dunno. There's just something magical about that place."
Red ripped a big laugh and the other kids chuckled. Red said, "Magical? Whatever man. Maybe you'll find a girlfriend up there."
Randal flipped off Red and Red replied with a wave bye. Randal continued down to sidewalk. The obnoxious laughter and chatter of Red and his friends faded into the afternoon.
If the suburbs were beautiful that late afternoon, the hills were heavenly. The golden sunlight lit up every leaf and blade of grass. The flowers, tepid water, and trees created a bouquet of wilderness smells. The hills had more than a few birds chirping, but the chitters of rabbits and squirrels. There was the occasional duck quack.
"I could just live here!" said Randal to himself.
But as Randal wandered the hills, looking over the trees, the ponds, and the cliffs stretching off into the distance where the limits of city ended and the countryside began with endless fields slotted between huge batches of bush.
But as Randal walked around for what could have been an hour or ten minutes, clouds appeared in that perfect sky and shrouded spots of the wilderness with a grey dullness. In the corners of Randal's eyes he could see strange occurrences. Down in the valley, in a group of trees nearby that old pond with the deteriorated dock, Randal saw some sort of machine walking around that look rusted and old-fashioned.
He paid it no mind and continued to walk around, wondering if the clouds in the sky were an omen for rain, in which Randal would have done good to return home before he was rained upon.
While he pondered just going home or rather risking getting rained on, Randal heard some yelling and hollering. He looked around to see where the noise was coming from but he was waiting a whole minute before he saw a girl run over the hill being chased by strange floating creatures. The girl was running with her arms flailing out. She yelped wildly!
It took a second to see, but the flying creatures chasing her weren't birds or even giant bees but were satellite-shaped beings that floated in the air with no wings or propellers. The girl ran past Randal with the satellites chasing her, but one of them "saw" Randal and turned towards him.
Randal screamed and began running the other way. There was no buildings around to hide in. What could have Randal used to hide or defend himself? He looked over at a group of trees at the edge of the path. There was a large branch laying on the ground. He peeked over this shoulder to see that satellite chasing him still, making a pulsing sound.
He ran over to the branch and picked it up. It was heavy but all the branches and leaves gave it a wide breadth. He turned to see the satellite charging at him. When it got close, he took a swing and smacked the thing with a loud whack! The pulsing sound it was making crescendoed before cutting out. Its floating got unpredictable but slow and it hung in the air. Randal took another swing and the satellite hit the ground. It still made noises. Randal hesitated. He looked at the thing.
It had a core of sealed metal plates and had a blue glass bottom. Out in front were three wooden boards, each with a rune drawn in red paint. The satellite continued to flail but after a stomping underneath Randal shoe, it stopped.
Branch still in hand Randal looked around. He could hear the girl's yelping. After moving around a bit he could see her dancing around in some trees with some satellites. He jogged up to the girl and satellites. One was closer to him than the other. Before it could notice him, he swung at it and took it to the ground which he quickly followed up with a stomp. The satellite's wooden plates snapped into pieces.
The girl moved wildly, often crouching down and holding her arms out like she had no idea what to do with them. Her body language was very primitive. She held onto trees with unrefined dexterity. She growled at the satellite. The satellite kept buzzing her face like it was going to attack but then backed off. She swung at it with a closed fist.
Randal moved in and took it out with another good whack. He stomped it to bits. The pulsing sound it emitted crackled and then stopped. Randal kept an eye out for sparks but nothing. It didn't seem to be a machine.
"Are you ok?" he asked the girl.
The girl looked at him with a blank stare. She had drool coming from her mouth. Her stance was wide and clumsy. She grunted at Randal. Randal took a closer look at her. She had shoulder length dirty blonde hair. She had a plaid long sleeve shirt over top a faded black t-shirt. She wore olive green cargo pants. Most peculiar was the wet spot on her pants around her crotch.
Randal stifled a titter, "Uh, miss? Are you alright?" he motioned at her stain.
The girl didn't respond. She didn't seem to notice. She stared at Randal with a dumbfounded expression.
Randal dropped the branch. The action and noise got a glimpse from the dumb girl. Randal looked at her, "Wow, you must be high!"
He looked around. Was there anyone with her? If she was special needs they usually have a handler. There was no one around. The hills were empty except for the wind. It would have possibly been embarrassing for the girl but Randal thought about bringing her back down to the city.
When Randal walked out of the trees back onto the paths, the girl followed him curiously. Her movement was cavemanlike, with large side steps and crouching down a lot as if standing up straight was too much of a threat to her balance. Randal was amused but was scared that this girl had gotten so high she had broke her brain.
The sky was getting darker. More clouds were forming overhead and the heavenly glow to the hills under the bright afternoon sun was giving way to a grey dullness. The wind picked up. A quiet howl was friend to every gust. Through the wind Randal could hear faint sounds, strange ones that he wouldn't connect to any common person or thing.
Getting the girl back to safety was important but Randal wanted to look around to make sense of the flying satellites and why the girl had gone cavewoman. He walked further into the hills, heading further from the suburbs. He looked across the fields and might have seen some more of those satellites hovering around.
He heard some grunting and a tree rustling. He looked behind to see the girl hanging from the tree, kicking her legs up like a monkey. He sighed and approached her, "What are doing? Get down from there."
The girl just grunted at him. Randal shook his head. With the girl's legs spread wide, he couldn't help but take another peek at her peed pants. It was ridiculous. He had to laugh again, and she didn't seem embarrassed about it at all.
She dropped from the tree, leaned in close, took a sniff at Randal. She grunted lowly and moved closer. She grabbed him by the shoulder and started pushing her body into him. Randal was weirded out immediately. Then she began humping him. She closed her eyes and thrusted her loins in his side.
"Hey!" said Randal, "Get off of me!"
Randal backed away and looked at his clothes to see if the girl's pissy crotch got on him but it seemed alright. He looked up at her, "Come on, follow me!"
The two continued to roam around. The wind got louder and more gusty, the sky darkened further, and the mood changed sinister. It didn't look like anyone else was around but Randal assumed that the girl had come with someone based on whatever problem she was having. In fact, the hills were eerily empty. All the chatter and laughter he heard was far off.
The hills were home to a lot of animals but it had been awhile since Randal had seen a fox. There was one running down by the lower pond, looking like it was wearing a shirt and maybe pants around its feral body. There was also a hairy shirtless man walking around in the distance. With the wooden satellite flying around he would assumed anything.
Maybe keeping the branch was a good idea, he thought. But he had left the branch back where he met the girl and if he needed a weapon to fight off anymore flying wooden creature he would have to improvise again. He saw one of them nearby, closer than any he had seen since vanquishing a few back towards the entrance of the hills.
He took the girl by the hand and directed her away from the satellite and went down a grassy hill. Randal was losing his conviction and running away from whatever was going on was looking like a good idea.
It was then at the bottom of that hill where Randal spotted a much bigger problem. Down along the hillside there was a machine of some kind. Like the satellites floating around, it's spider-like legs had wooden paneling with runes painted onto them. It wasn't as tall as Randal but easily weighed more.
"What the fuck?" said Randal.
He turned around and began running up the hill. He shouted at the girl, "Go! Go!" She ran up the hill too but in a different orientation. He could hear stomps behind him but didn't dare look. The climbed the hill and at the top moved towards the girl. He took her hand. She was hesitant to follow him but started moving when get started tugging.
Randal ran down the paths once again but didn't know where to go, or if he should hide. The girl he was dragging along, she tried to keep up but her ability to run wasn't as evolved as Randal's. A couple of the wooden satellites floated up beside them. Randal weakly waved at them, seeing if he could swat them out of the air but they evaded his attacks.
There wasn't much of places to hide except behind the utility building up where a few paths met. Getting inside was impossible since the door was locked but hiding behind the walls was as good of a hiding place as he could think of. With the satellites still following him he took the girl over to the building. He wouldn't look behind him until he was behind a wall!
But as he ran out in front of the building, he noticed... the door was wide open. He walked up to it and looked inside. It was a dark, empty utility building. A single room with some light peeking in the windows. There were some closets to the sides and tables. The floors were dirty and dust was in the air.
The girl followed behind him but the satellites didn't follow inside. Randal closed the door and after a few seconds he could hear the satellites float away. He ducked down low and motioned the girl to do the same. She didn't understand him fully but crouched down with him.
They could hear that stomping from the big machine. It got closer and louder but then moved away. Randal could control his breathing again but the girl seemed unafraid. She was just following Randal's lead.
With danger seemingly fleeting, Randal took a moment to lay his head in his lap and say to himself, "What is going on?"
"I can answer that," said a woman's voice.
Randal was startled. He looked up but could see little in the darkness. The voice wasn't the girl, he knew that for sure. She sat and looked around too. Then something out of the corner of the room. Something dropped down from the vent on the roof onto the filing cabinets. It took a second to see but the creature was a fox and it looked to be wearing some clothes around it's feral-shaped body, like the fox he thought he had seen earlier.
"A little experiment of ours has gotten out of hand," said the voice again.
Randal looked around. The voice couldn't possibly be the fox! There was no speaker in the room and he didn't see anything else hiding in the shadows. The fox jumped down off of the file cabinet, onto the dusty floor. It walked up to Randal, letting some light in the window illuminate its face.
Randal moved away from it.
"We need your help," said the fox.
Randal's eyes went wide. He looked around and his breath got rapid. He could barely choke out the words, "What the fuck?"
The fox rolled her eyes, "I know this is weird for you but you must listen! If you don't help us bad things will happen to this town!"
Randal didn't respond. He kept staring in disbelief. Then he smelled into the air and grimaced, "What's that smell?"
The fox sniffed twice and then looked over at the girl, "Your friend here has defecated."
"Ugh! What's wrong with her?" said Randal trying to cover his nose. The smell was thick, although he was relieved since for a second he thought the smell was something he had done!
"She was zapped by one of those fireflies outside," said the fox, "Her mind has been regressed to an animalistic, primal state." she chuckled, "The girl has lost most of her knowledge," the fox raised a front-paw to waft at her nose, "including toilet training..."
"Is she going to be ok?" asked Randal.
"Eventually," said the fox, "but only if you do exactly as I say. Did you see the big spider machine out there?" the fox waited for Randal to nod, "If you deactivate the king then all the others will cease function."
Randal wasn't up to fight that thing but as the fox explained what Randal needed to do was go down by the lake where a wand was dropped. A single zap from that wand would terminate the spider machine. Once the machine was zapped all the satellites (fireflies) would disintegrate. As the fox explained the situation, Randal felt more and more dizzy. The demand that he go fetch a wand and fire it at that crushing monster was daunting, let alone standing up without passing out!
The fox couldn't do much to encourage Randal but eventually he stood up and peeked out the window. It looked like the coast was clear. Those satellite thingies were threatening enough before but now Randal knew that they could make brain functions cease! The thought of it made him want to curl up in the corner and treat his pants like a urinal!
No satellites were seen, so he opened the door and walked back out into the overcast dusk. The pulsing sound was heard all among the hills and in the distance he recognized the sound of that big machine marching around. Luckily the wand was in another direction, down by the pond. The fox followed as Randal walked ahead, looking around nervously.
"What happens if they attack me?" said Randal.
The fox replied, "They can't zap your mind in an instant. If you stay vigilant and are prepared to swat at them, you will be ok!"
Randal looked around for a branch like the one he had earlier. There was a very bare branch sitting beside a bench and he would have preferred that branch he had earlier but the new one was better than nothing. He got a sense that the fox was lying to him about how dangerous these creatures were to prevent him from freaking out.
Randal got a good look at the fox. She wore something like a jacket on her front half, except fitted for a fox. Same with the back half and her pants although there was a hole for her big bushy tail.
When a firefly came close to Randal, he panicked but raised his branch ready to strike. It got within range and he swung down with a scared yipe. It only grazed the firefly but that enough to slow it down and easily land another shot. It crashed towards the ground and even after stomping it to bits, Randal was shaking.
"This is too much!" said Randal.
He kept moving towards the pond where the wand was resting. The fireflies far off didn't seem to mind Randal even if they might have spotted him. It was hard to tell because while the wooden plates with the red runes on them may have been faces, he couldn't be sure.
As the two approached the pond, the fox pointed with a paw at some rocks by the pond, "It's near those rocks."
But the pond had more than a few fireflies floating around, even by the rocks. Randal waited until a couple moved away from the rocks and then approached with his branch ready in hand. The remaining firefly didn't move away from the rocks but also didn't seem to notice Randal or "facing" him.
Down the hill, he snuck. The fox was right by him who was better at sneaking than him. His heart raced as he approached the firefly, floating above the rocks, unaware of Randal sneaking up behind it. Randal kept one eye on the ground for the wand but approached slowly. But just as he got close the firefly turned around and aimed its wooden runes at him.
"Ahhh!" he shrieked.
He swung at the thing with his branch and it was a hit so good that the firefly dropped and cracked on a rock before spinning off into the grass. Randal ran over and stamped that one into the ground too. It was dead.
"Over here!" said the fox as it ran behind the biggest rock.
Randal shook off his jitters and walked up to the fox. On the ground was a greyish wand although it looked a bit more futuristic than he would have guessed. It had golden accents around its trimmings. Randal picked it up with his free hand, "How do I use it?"
"Hold it in your hand," said the fox, "Aim, and then think about it shooting a bolt of light. It's easier to hold in human hands. If I had the time I would turn into a different form," she wagged her tail, "but this situation got out of control fast!"
Randal switched hands so the wand was in his dominant hand. He pointed it out in front of him like he saw in the movies. But then something buzzed up beside him.
"Watch out!" said the fox.
Randal turned and saw those two fireflies that he'd thought had left the area. He choked on his own gasp. He tried whacking one of them before realizing that he swung at the firefly with his wand. He fumbled and dropped his branch. He froze up could only stare in terror at the firefly.
The runes on the firefly's wooden panel began to glow, then there was a spark. Randal yelped and jumped out of the way, falling on the ground. Although looking up at the firefly, it didn't seem to fire anything out of its runes but rather emit a stream of waving blue light. Randal caught his breath and looked at his branch on the ground. He grabbed it and got back up swinging his branch wildly.
Both fireflies took a hit and fell to the ground. Randal hastily stomped them out.
"That was a close one!" said the fox.
A strange hissing was heard. It came from Randal's pants as streams of wetness poured on his crotch and made his way down his pant legs. In the midst of his terror, he was still able to feel embarrassment beyond his fear.
"Oh man!" said Randal, "I peed my pants!"
The fox frowned and then walked up to him. She rubbed her side against his leg, "Let it happen. It's ok, let it happen..."
Randal watched as wetness shrouded his pants. The fox took the wand and brought it over to Randal. Randal quit his whimpering and picked up the wand. With a shaky hand he gave the wand a test drive. He aimed it at the hills and thought about firing it and before he finished the sentence in his head 'Fire the wand' the wand shot a bolt of light with a loud laser sound. He flinched at the laser but the fox smiled, "It works! Now come on!"
Randal pinched out his pissy crotch and grimaced. The fox said, "I know this is humiliating for you, but we still have that king machine to deal with!"
Randal picked up the branch and marched back up the hill with the cool breeze blowing on his wet pants. There was firefly at the top of the hill that Randal promptly charged and struck down. Instead of stomping it he kicked it away and it got some distance. There seemed to be less fireflies around.
The fox kept an eye out for the king. Randal kept the wand ready in his hand. They could hear the machine's legs marching. It was far off but not too far off.
"So when we shoot that thing..." said Randal, "All the satellites will just disappear, right?"
"Instantly!" said the fox, "Once the king is deactivated they will puff like smoke! The king won't disappear but it won't be active either. It'll be totally safe and just leave it to us animals to clean up the mess."
"Animals?" said Randal, "There are others?"
There was a silence. The leaves might as well stopped blowing in the wind. The sky lit up for a second as a few rays of light broke through the clouds. Where was the pulsing sound of so many satellites?
They then heard a machine. They looked to their side, the thing had snuck up beside them. Randal gasped and dropped the branch, no he dropped his wand! He scrambled to pick it up. The king machine's panel began to glow. He closed his eyes and thought about firing but then a flash had overcome him.
The fox watched as a bolt of light popped out of the wand and hit the machine right on its core. For a second though, the machine was able to shine Randal in a blue light. The machine dropped to its legs and all the satellites around deactivated and then disappeared in a dark blue smoke before falling to the ground. Randal fell on his butt and dropped the wand. The machine had been deactivated.
"It's done," said the fox. But Randal didn't respond. She approached him and when she got close he turned to her with vacant eyes and drool hanging from his mouth. The machine had zapped Randal as well but being how brief the blue light shone, the fox wasn't worried. She knew that Randal would clear up in minutes.
The building was nearby. There was no telling if the girl had stayed put but the fox had bigger things to worry about. The fox yapped at Randal to persuade him to come. The dumb Randal got up and followed the fox back over towards the building. The girl was wandering around the side, hunched over looking at bugs in the grass.
When Randal saw the girl, he got excited and grunt. He waddled over towards her. She noticed him when he approached. She grunted at him and he grunted back as he he got close the girl. She sniffed at him. Randal reached out and stroked her crotch, not minding the wetness on her pants. She turned around and got down on all fours. Randal dropped his body down on top of her and started humping. They grunted.
The fox chuckled and thought it would be a good stress reliever for the two humans, but knew neither of them would have liked it if they got their clothes off, actually did the deed, and if she got pregnant.
From behind some brick walls appeared a grey squirrel wearing running shorts. Behind him followed a wolfman, a man with beastly features on his face, his naked chest (very furry), claws on his hands, and beastly feet. He looked out into the world with vacant eyes like the dumbened humans nearby. He wore dark blue work pants which had a big wet spot on the front with streams running down both legs. He didn't seem to care that he had pissed in his pants.
"Is it over with?" said the squirrel.
"The king has been deactivated," she looked over at Randal and the girl humping each other through their clothes, "but 'our hero' was primalized in the last second."
The squirrel looked over at the two humans rutting it out. He laughed, "They are going to be all right, yeah?" the fox nodded. The squirrel looked up at the beastman, "Can't say the same for this guy. He will likely be like this forever. Stupid and beastly!"
The fox nodded, "We could always use another servant at the coven. We'll take him." she paused, "Would you help me with the humans? They should be coming out of it soon."
The squirrel nodded. Several helpers came out of the wilderness to clean up the mess. A rabbit came to take the wolf man away. The squirrel in the shorts took the girl and walked her off to help her clean her panties when she came out of her dumbness. The fox took Randal out for a walk out further into the countryside, walking down along the hills alongside a field of wheat. She knew that Randal couldn't return to town with his peed pants. They would have to dry before he could return to society.
Randal was shaking his head erratically. The dumbness was wearing off and his brain power was coming back. He blinked and held his head. He stumbled while he walked.
"What happened, fox?" said Randal.
"Everything's ok," said the fox, "You killed the machine and now everything's going to go back to normal!"
"Does that mean you're going to stop talking?" asked Randal.
"No," said the fox, "I talk."
Randal looked at his pants again, "I can't believe I pissed myself! I can't show myself like this."
"Let's go for a walk then," said the fox, "And let them dry... And besides," she stopped and turned around to show her backside, "I peed myself too!" her pants were wet, from under the tail going down to her legs, "You weren't the only one who was terrified..."
Randal smirked.
The two walked around for awhile and chatted. Randal had just gone through the weirdest moment in his life and the fox, who went by Eda, hinted that there was more to what he saw. It was overwhelming.
"What else is there?" asked Randal, "Talking animals, wood machines, what else?"
Eda chuckled, "If I told you everything, you'd likely poop your pants too!"
Randal wouldn't leave it alone. He kept prodding Eda about what she was and what happened with the wooden machines but Eda only trickled out hints. The wind blew on Randal's pants and slowly the wet stain from them faded. Same went for Eda's pants but she didn't seem to mind so much that she wet in them.
Once they were dry enough to not be noticeable, Eda walked Randal to the edge of the hills, back by the suburbs. The sun was almost gone from the sky. The streetlights had just come on.
"I guess this is bye," said Randal.
"One more thing," said Eda.
"What?" said Randal.
Eda smiled wide, "If you tell anyone what happened here I will hunt you down and erase your brain, permanently!"
Randal gulped.
Eda scurried off, "Bye now, Randal!"
Randal returned home after what had been the weirdest hike he had ever been on. How could he just go home and ignore everything he had seen that evening? He told himself to get it out of his head for a little while but soon realized there was no way he was going to ignore what happened. He had a feeling this was only the beginning.