FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"In this town, Darling?" he said, strolling over towards the back door. He crossed his arm over his chest and cradled his elbow. Leaning against the doorway, he stared out into the dingy alleyway beyond. "It's not that simple. Sex is just everywhere, and everything is all about it. You'd know if you were from here."

"I am. Anteronia born and bred, I guess you could say... more like I just spawned from some other kinda protoslime and just... started being, you know?"

"For a writer, you have a strange way with words, darling."

"H... hey, that's not fair. Sure, I may not have been born a writer, but I like it. Tik Tik has told so many great stories and learned so much about people and love and all that. I mean, we can't all be built for baking like you."

"Darling..." Baker said, tilting his head toward me. "You think this is what I was built for? No. This is a new job for me, but it's one I love, and if I make mistakes along the way and get a little messy, then so be it. Now then, shall we try this experiment?"

"What experiment are you-?"

Before I could ask, he brought his slime-coated finger up to where his mouth would be. He spread the glistening green goop over his wooden frame. His digit lingered there a moment, but he pulled it back, nodding his head. "Fascinating..."

"What do you mean?" I asked him, but he simply walked past me, standing on the tips of his toes to grab a few bowls from his cabinets.

"No worries, darling. I'm letting that formulate in the back of my mind. Now, you really must pay attention to my process if you're going to write the best parts about me. So watch and learn."

Various ingredients lined the counter: powders and sticks and liquids. Even through their containers, I can sense the essence of the foodstuff within, and a strange kinship seems to exist between them and me, though I did not conceive of the consequences at the time. Baker picked up two roundish white objects and smacked them upon the side of his bowl. The things both split open, and a clear slime oozes out from within. I gasped upon the sight when yellow cores fell through and plopped into the receptacle.

Baker just kept on humming, taking a wired whisk device and beating the two tiny slimes together into a yellow mix. Desperate to know the full process, I kept my mouth shut the entire time I saw it.

I would describe every detail of his process, but I could not decipher the exact nuances then and there. He broke the core and the slime and covered it up with powders of various shades of white and brown. The only one I recognized was the milk that he had in a small tin, not straight from the source. How odd it is that people can preserve the flavor, yet he assured me that it tasted just as sweet.

I was inclined to disagree from taste I had earlier, though. Milk is meant to be warm and from the body. There is nothing quite like it.

During the whole process, he kept his focus on the work, but I often glanced over towards the other shelled objects-the slimes trapped in some kind of cage. They took most of my attention, and I must admit I may have forgotten to listen to what he had to say. So, when he spoke up, and I didn't answer, that's when he stopped.

"Something wrong, darling?"

I realized then that I had grabbed onto the counter and pressed my face against the bowl. I pulled away, rubbing my eyes. "W... what are those things?" I indicated to the carton of shells, "And why did... why did you kill them?"

"Kill...? What?" He looked down to the bowl, dropping his whisk and clapping his cheeks. "No, no, no! Darling, darling, those are just eggs!"

"Eggs... eggs..." I pondered where I had heard that term before, only to remember. "Kobold eggs!?"

"What? N-no, darling! Not... wait..." He tapped his chin. "Kobolds... lay eggs...?"

"Yeah. It's where baby kobolds come from. I read about it in Tik Tik's stories. Did you... did you kill baby kobolds? Are... are baby kobolds slimes? I... I'm so confused."

"Oh, my, you are new at this living thing, aren't you, darling? You see, eggs come from the market! You buy them and then use them as a bonding agent for your bakes. They are nice and slimy and all the flour sticks together. It's oh so wonderful."

"I'll be the judge of that!" I said, swiping one of the uncracked eggs from the bunch and slinking out the door. "We'll see just what Tik Tik has to say about this."

"Tik Tik," I cried, rushing out of the kitchen. Panting, I held up the egg in front of the kobold. "Tik Tik, please tell me this isn't a thing that comes out of you!"

Tik Tik pulled her book down, frowning. "What that?" she asked, inspecting the small shelled ovoid.

"It's an egg, darling," Baker said, sauntering out of the room. "Eshere here seems to believe that a thing like that comes out of a lady like you. I know, ridiculous, right?"

"This isn't kobold egg," Tik Tik said, placing her book aside.

"There, you see?" Baker said, snatching the egg from my grasp. "There's no way that this could come out a kobold. It comes from the market and... wait..." He spun the egg between his fingers. "You mean... kobolds make their own kind of eggs?

"And kobolds are slime creatures before they gain their scales!?"

"Have I been killing people for my art!?" Baker gasped. "Oh, I'm so sorry, little one... but you're so delicious!"