FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

** Written and Drawn by SOLshim**

The breathtaking view through the window hung in the air, suspended by time, for she had the leisure to consider it. Maya had lived in this city for 2 years and the opportunity presented itself to really take in her reality. Echo City. A hub for both the human and the other. And because of this unique structure, there’s always something to talk about or contemplate over. For this city rewards those who have inquisitive minds and interesting conversations. The topic for today, would be about the idea of pleasure. But the person who was supposed to have this conversation hasn’t arrived yet, and so Maya continues looking through the window at the city she finds herself in.

\ **Clang* * The door bell of the diner had rung. Finally, she could stop tapping the side of her drink for her friend had arrived completely naked as usual. For in this city, the beasts showed the humans there was no need to fear being without clothes. That their animal side had its own beauty.

Chriss was her name. Maya had called her over to discuss something that had been occupying her mind.

“Hey Chriss, thanks for coming.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Chriss sat down beside her and gazed into her friend's eyes.

“So what are we talking about today?”

“Pleasure.”

“Pleasure? Interesting. What about it?”

“You know how I’ve been working on that art project of mine. The sculpting?”

“Yes! How’s that going?” asked Chriss.

Maya averted her gaze a little. “It’s not going, but at the same time It’s going.”

“Oh?”

“it’s been making me think about something. That something being pleasure.”

“Okay, so what exactly do you mean by that?” queried Chriss.

“You know how the general sentiment from humans is that if you find a job or a hobby that you like, it will always feel enjoyable? That you can contain your pleasure to just one thing? And that one thing being some sort of "work"." Maya couldn't help but roll her eyes as she said it out loud.

Chriss nodded “Yes I do, though to be honest, my kind doesn't understand that idea at all. "

Maya continued. “When I first started sculpting, it felt new. Artistic. Exciting. Invigorating. It’s like I was entranced by the novelty and the sheer mystery of the experience. I've been sculpting non-humans since I arrived in Echo City about two years ago. Hell, I was good at it. I even made one of you. But now, moving my hands can feel lethargic at times. I kept telling myself that a hobby also requires "work". I wanted the parts of the hobby I didn't like, to feel good. But really, it feels no different than a job now.”

Chriss was concerned but she couldn't help but reminisce. “I remember the one you made of me. I really loved it. I know what you mean about activities losing their spark over time. It's one of the reasons why I try not to harmonise effort and pleasure, I see them as polar opposites to each other. That's the nature of things. Back when we didn’t live in Echo city, we would be foresting out in the woods for food. We never thought that process should be fun or anything like that. We knew pleasure arrived after, when we were relaxing and not thinking too much about building something or getting something. We were enjoying ourselves from the spoils of our efforts and just lying around. Now in Echo City, I have a job, which I don’t treat as any different from the scavenging I had to do in the past.”

Maya leaned closer to Chriss, her eyes with an extra glint than before. “When you decided what to do after scavenging, did you ever plan it out?”

“Occasionally, but very often there was spontaneity to it. We never really knew what to expect. The mystery was part of the excitement.” replied Chriss.

Maya smirked.

“Bingo!” she yelled.

“Bingo- what!?” Chriss was rattled.

“The mystery. That’s the key ingredient. I was hoping you'd say that. I'm making my relationship to my sculpting more spontaneous.” Maya closed her eyes and placed her hands on her hips and smiled, like she had heard exactly what she wanted.

But Chriss wasn't entirely convinced.

“I guess, but you can’t exactly do that can you? Prior to making the sculpture, you’re thinking about making it. So, you're planning. That's not spontaneity. It's too premeditated. In the forest, I had no idea what I was going to do, until I did it. "

“That’s true.” Maya continued nodding with her eyes close.

“So, you agree? Then-why do you look so convinced of yourself?”

Maya's eyes opened. “But there’s more to it. There’s a way to make any action you do a mystery to even yourself. "

Chriss raised her eyebrow. “Isn’t that what I said?”

“All I have to do is sculpt without knowing that I'm going to be sculpting. Now hear me out. What if instead of using my mind to determine when to do something, I instead put something else in the driver's seat, like my body? "

Chriss' eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?”

“I don’t tell myself “I should be sculpting now.” Instead, I ask my body "What is it that you want to do right now?” And I let it take the helm."

“You let your body do the thinking for you?”

Maya caressed her own arm. “Exactly. The body doesn’t operate with thoughts. It operates on sensation and feeling. It’s my mind that is telling me that I should be sculpting. If I try sculpting and it feels lethargic, I allow that sensation to guide my next actions. I'll just move my body to a different action, so maybe I’ll start working on some other project, or I’ll watch something, or I’ll talk to a friend. So, I never really know what I'm going to do at any given moment. Once again, creating a sense of mystery. By making sculpting one of the options I could take, rather than the one I "should" be doing. I never really know if it will be the thing I choose. "

“Something that previously felt like work, is now renewed into something exciting?”

Maya continued earnestly, “Yes, and so every time I engage with it. I’m enlivened by the activity. It seems the feeling of moving into the unknown is essential to feeling pleasure.”

Chriss scratched her chin. “So are you satisfied with how often your body makes you return to sculpting?”

“So far yes. There’s just something about it that I’m drawn to. But I’m also open to not returning to it.”

Those were the last words she thought Maya would say. “What do you mean?”

“Part of giving into mystery, is relieving control from the whole thing. Not only do I not get to choose when I work on it. I also don’t get to choose when I return to it or IF I return to it at all. I really am giving my body the driver’s seat. And when you do that, you have to be okay with any of the changes that could come with that. For all I know, my sculpting could transform into something else as I pull on that thread. It could kill my relationship with it eventually. And therefore, I need to dance with death and be okay with that.”

“Sounds intense.”

“It is. But without letting go of control and without incorporating death, true enjoyment will always remain elusive.”

“I see.”

Maya opened her arms forward and observed them. “I don’t know where my body will take me. But I’m not going to lie. It's actually been pretty fun.”

Chriss couldn’t help but smile, seeing that Maya looked hopeful. “With all these changes, your sculpting must look pretty different now? "

Maya imagined her current piece, a small humanoid owl that could fit in the palm of her hand. “Yes, the pieces I create now take less time to make. Because I assume that there could be a moment where I do lose interest. So I make sure that they can be completed in less time. I let my natural rhythm dictate how long I work on a piece. The finished product that I have in my mind is not what decides when the piece is done.”

“A body-based approach huh. "

"Yes."

There was silence between the two for a little while. Maya gazed at Chriss, curious what she would say next.

“Lately you had been so down that I had been a bit worried about you. But you seem lighter on your feet. I’m glad.”

Chriss leaned forward and pressed Maya’s arm with her hand, and began moving her finger up and down her hairless arm.

Maya thought she seemed a bit distracted but to her surprise, Chriss began speaking again.

“Harmonising your craft with pleasure. I'm not going to lie, it's making me reflect on my current job where I work as a data analyst. People would get angry if I allowed my pleasure to guide me.”

Maya pressed her finger to her chin. "That’s true. You would have to be doing something where you don’t have to answer to anyone's schedule.”

“Yeah, it’s making me think that I should find a job where it doesn’t matter “when I work”, so that I can do the work whenever I want to. So, I can incorporate a feeling of the "unknown" into my job, which up till now I thought was impossible.”

Chriss sat there, still holding Maya's arm. Her tail was more upright than usual and waving. For this conversation was curling something within her. And perhaps even providing some hope that the possibility that opened up for Maya could also be relevant for herself.

I guess you never really know what you need to hear. For the unknown provides benefits to those who appreciate it.