Moneybag Mr. Nook
In Brewster's cafe, anyone in town may open up to you. Today, you find Lyle the home designer otter with a raunchy story to tell about a certain famous raccoon.
This story is narrated in the first person voice of the Animal Crossing character Lyle. If you don't know who that is, imagine a sleazy stereotypical New York accent spoken in staccato.
Thumbnail art by Archiblender
Hey wait, pal, what's a kid like you doin' around these parts?
Yeah, this is a bar, for God's sake. You sure you're old enough to be here?
Wait. You're 26? What the fuck!? Alright, alright, I get it. Coulda fooled me... heh.
Why you still lookin' at me, kid? You want your dick sucked or somethin'?
Oh, I'm just bustin' your chops. Boom! What? Yeah, ol' Lyle's gay. It's 2020, for Christ's sake. What are you gonna do, punch me?
Lyle's just bustin' your chops again. You. Your face. Priceless. But me? Yeah, I know my way around a dick or two. I could rattle each of those boys off for you. Cut? Uncut? Five inch? Ten inch? Fifteen!? Bang! Dear ol' Lyle's sucked 'em all! One! Kyle. Two! Beau. Three! Booker. Four! Gracie. Five! That swindler, Crazy Redd. Bored yet? It goes on.
Me? Drunk? No, no, no! I'm Lyle, ha ha. Boom. Only got a drink in me. Well, let me tell you. A drunk Lyle's a fun Lyle, and a fun Lyle has lots of juicy gossip to share. Lots of it. Stick around and I'll tell you something crazy. Cra-zy.
That's right. Lyle's got a secret. A dick-sucking secret! Listen up, pal. Two days ago tonight, I had sex with Tom Nook. Yep. Moneybag Mr. Tom freakin' Nook... bang! How? I'll tell ya how. Sit tight a sec.
So me, Lyle, is the big man behind the Happy Home Academy. I got front row seats in big shot Mr. Tom Nook's real estate agency with this gig. Not bad, eh? And my crew, love 'em. The best in the world. Those boys pop in every day, 6 a.m. sharp. In. Out. Quiet. Sneaky. Meticulous. They judge each of your rooms and grade 'em based on furniture, theme, matchin': all that gay jazz. Bam. You wanna know your score? Well, I'm not working right now. Buzz off! I'm getting way off-topic. You came to ask how Lyle got that thick raccoon dick in his maw.
Now where was I... the HHA, right? Right. So Lyle knows some people, and those people know Lyle. The Able Sisters, those nice girls. Leif. Kicks. Blathers. The pelicans from the post office... the whole gang.
Tom, you bet your cute ass, is the patriarch in all of this shit. You know Tom, you know money. That's just how it is. Bang. So I get the privilege of working at Nook's Homes every day, along with my niece, Lottie, and the mayor's secretary's brother, Digby. Boom! Lottie loves that Digby, but she's too scared to tell him. I tell her to bite the bullet already, but she tells me to find me my own man. I'm working on it, I'm working on it!
Digby. That boy. His sister. Isabelle. She's out of town, along with the mayor, doing some sort of sneaky Fight Club bullshit. Well, the generous Tom Nook decided to take over the bureaucracy. Lucky me, having to manage customers at Nook's Homes day in and day out in place of the big shot.
Bang! Cut to two days ago. Let me set the scene. Mr. Nook's out building a house for that new kid, Jay, while sweet Lottie and her crush are busy furnishing that new school. Dear ol' Lyle? He's alone. Nook's Homes. Empty. Middle of the goddamn day. And you know what Lyle says? He says it's time for some Lyle time. Boom. This ott's hornier than that cute buck, Beau, and he's itchin' to see some hard cocks. There's no one around, so he lounges at his desk.
Now, don't get me wrong. I ain't exactly a grower, or a show-er. I've got about five of my own inches. Nothin' special, but it's enough. Lyle's not a size queen. Lyle doesn't judge. Lyle loves himself. But! Every man I've been with. Bustin' my chops. BUSTIN' 'EM! Spreading the rumours, the lies. The lie that Lyle ain't a good lay. I'll tell you the truth. Straight truth. I got a muzzle, and you bet I got an ass. I ain't a top, but I'll show one a good time. Bam.
Little ol' Lyle's stroking his tool. Yeah. Pumpin' his penis like the blood in his veins. I'm moaning a bit too, lookin' at some muscle boys on my work computer. I love me some of those boys, kid. Tall boys. Big boys. Ha ha. Lyle's getting hard right now thinkin' about it. It wasn't just the porn when I was jerkin', but also the experience. The situation. The thrill! What if I get caught!?
Well, I did.
BANG! The door bursts open! I jump five whole feet in the air, thinkin', 'oh no, oh God, if it's my niece, I'm gonna scar that girl for the rest of her goddamn life!'
I swivel around. Guess who I see. Mister Big Money himself, Tom Nook! My boss. I'm flabbergasted, kid. Nook doesn't look shocked. Not an emotion crosses that man's face. He stares through me and asks, "Hm, Lyle, what are you up to right now?"
Well, gee, Mr. Nook! That sure is a brain buster right there! What does it look like, Mr. Nook? Rubbin' my pecker to some sexy boys on my screen.
Bang! Gotcha! I don't actually say that. I say, "Nothing, Mr. Nook! Just lazin' around our humble little store."
He rests a paw on my jerkin' shoulder. "Lyle," he asks, "are you slacking off?"
Now, now, now. Lyle ain't got much to do on a day like this, so he plays himself some hardball, shaft in hand. "Why no, Mr. Nook," I answer. "You see any customers on a Wednesday morning? Bang!"
"You seem to be banging something, hm?" says big shot Tom.
Touché, Tom, touché.
Mr. Nook keeps talking, saying, "Lyle, you do know how dreadful it would look if someone were to come in here now, yes? Why aren't you working?"
He goes on and on and on and I'm just going, "Nook, Nook, Nook. Sweetie. Ten people live in this town. The government don't do anything! Bam! No one cares if they see an otter waggin' his noodle in the HHA building!"
Nook just sighs, and then he pauses, gazing at my monitor. He lifts an eyebrow a smidge, and goes, "Lyle, I didn't know you were gay!"
"Of course I am, Mr. Nook. My company's called the Happy Home Academy. I grade furniture for a living. Bang! Lyle's gayer than a unicorn drag show!"
Let me mention, kid. Nook looks satisfied with himself at this point. Smug look on his face. Asshole. But a daddy of an asshole. Gets me stiff just thinkin' about him.
Nook makes this noise in his throat, and he takes his hand off of me and says something like, "Lyle, it's fine. I think nothing different of you."
"Well I'm glad!" Now I think I'm off the hook. Clean slate. Golden. So then I change gears. "Mr. Nook, how's your day goin'? What are your kids up to?"
But Nook cuts me off! "Nothing. How about you step into the back room with me right now?"
Aw! I'm in deep shit, ain't I? Except. Nook leans over. He looks me in the eyes. Then. He kisses me on the lips, like this. Mwa. Bang. Except he keeps kissing me. And he kisses me longer. And then he lets go and he puts a paw between my ears and rubs. He speaks in this whisper, softly asking me how it is. Mr. Nook, baby. It's hotter than the gosh darn Sun.
He's my boss, though, what can I do? I know, I could talk to HR if it was bad. But it wasn't. It was good. So GOOD! I didn't realize Nook would pull me back to make a pass. It stunned me. Needless to say, it made ol' Lyle's day. Bang, back to the story.
Nook's got his paws up on me in his little warehouse room, rubbin' under my shirt, against my nipples, pinching 'em. Fuck. And Nook knows how I feel about him, too, and he's going, "Lyle, if you ever need a private moment, just come back here, yes?"
"Mr. Nook," I coo, "you're working me up real bad right now. Mr. Nook, My dick's harder than those wooden floors you lay. I feel like a million bells!" That sort of thing. Stuff a hot-shot likes to hear. He just smirks, and he reaches down to fondle me.
Kid. You've gotta understand two things about Nook's body. One! He's a bear. Well, no. He's a raccoon. But he's a beefy raccoon. He's got a decent amount of meat on him. A bit of a gut, too, which makes the knees of Lyle feel a bit weak. Bang! Two! He's got balls. Big balls! Balls so big they dwarf his dick! His dick grows huge when hard, just to be clear. And that? A beauty. Foreskin galore.
I'm gettin' ahead of myself though. He's tenting through his pants already, hearing me pant. Boom. This ott's tenting too, and I ain't got the money for a house yet. Heh! Real estate humour. High brow. Anyways. Nook's kneading my crotch, and go-lly do I whine. Like I said, kid. It's not just the crotch rub, it's the situation. Gettin' touched at work by such a stone cold business killer as Tom Freakin' Nook. Whew.
"It's been a while since I've been intimate with someone." Tom announces, "I'm not gay, but I respect your preference, Lyle."
Sure thing Tom. Not gay. Hell, who am I to complain? "Not gay" Nook's playin' with my balls. Bang! I'm putty to him, since I haven't gotten off in a while either; apart from my paw, I guess.
Mr. Nook tugs at the button on my khakis and unzips for me. He slips a finger into my briefs and peers down. "You're small," he reports, "much smaller than me, hm?"
Fuck you. I don't care! I'm girthy! Bang. I lean on his shoulder as he strips my clothes off. I don't speak. I don't say a word to Mr. Nook. I just let him do what he wants with me. He gives Lyle some eye candy too, stepping back to take his sweater off, take his pants off. I smile at his tight bell-patterned briefs with the bulge up front. Bingo.
He keeps walkin' away. Goes to the old stereo set we keep around. Turns on K.K. Cruisin'. You know the one. The song that goes dooo, doo, doooo, doo, dooooo. Yeah, that one. It's a sweet gesture. Love that song - love it even more now. I'm seeing Slider live tomorrow night. Class act. Anywho, it sets the mood.
Nook saunters back with something in his hand and pulls me close, before pushing his muzzle back to mine again. We swap spit again. Our stiff cocks frot together. Nook pulls at my underwear. He's A-plus.
Tangent about Mr. Nook's philanthropy: He's a superstar. Listen, the people talk shit about him, but the people don't have a clue. Nook builds you a house. Bang! Step one finished. You pay a loan. Everyone pays a loan. To have a house you pay a loan. It's not just Nook. But. Nook charges no interest. There's no deadline! Another thing. His kids? Great. Timmy, Tommy. Great boys. Real entrepreneurs. Boom! Again. Nook donates ninety-percent of his income to an orphanage. That's true. Look it up! Google.com. Lastly, he says he ain't gay, but then he eats your ass.
Kid. This raccoon knows how to keep a guy in bed. Nook has me bent over his old desk, with his tongue at my hole, lickin' away, penetrating. It's good. Arousing. He doesn't touch my prostate, but he plays around. But then. Bang. His hands are on my meat. He slides a ring on me. How romantic. I do. However. It's not just for show. My ears ain't great these days, but I can hear the click. I make a noise. Something like, "AUUUUUUUGHHH..."
...Hey. Brewster's lookin' at us funny right now. Wonder why.
And I moan like that because my cock's vibratin' harder than the world's biggest tuning fork. It's magic, kid. I'm really sensitive to vibes like that, and this toy's just delightful. I'm whining a bit again too.
Mr. Nook sticks his bulge in front of my face and I sniff, sniff, sniff. He must've been horny before he came in, cause that package smells like sex. Heh. He slides down his briefs and I size up his goods. Huuuge raccoon balls. Closer to a baseball than a golf ball. Dick. Half mast. Long foreskin. Six and a half inches, I'd say, give or take a bit. It's meaty. Smells like a man. I give it a kiss. I give it a lick. I stuff it in my maw. Boom, baby!
The vibes send some good feels through me. I've got my hands on his balls, my snout against his belly. I bob up and down, bang, bang! Swervin' my tongue along his tip, down his urethra. He gasps. I'm pretty good, huh? Lyle ain't a slut, but when he sees a good dick, he gets primal. That's just the way it is. I stay into it, since Nook keeps growin', gettin' meaty in my muzzle.
"Yes, yes, Lyle, you're doing wonderful," Nook urges.
My dick's twitchin' and my tip feels like ecstasy. I grumble my appreciation around his cock.
Based on my encyclopedic knowledge of the male anatomy, I guess that Mr. Nook isn't far from bursting. BANG! I wrap my paws around his backside, yank him far into my muzzle. Not to brag, but I take him pretty far. Nook gets mouthy, too, goin' all, "Ohhhhhhh..."
...Brewster, we're fine, I swear. Stop lookin' at me.
My glasses are half off my snout, but I'm too into it. Back and forth, back and forth. I keep goin'. He keeps moaning. His dick squirts pre onto my tongue. I've got my whole maw workin' his whole shaft. Perfect fit. He's full length. At least eight. Maybe nine. Maybe bigger. Kid, you do amazing things when you're too distracted to notice. Specifically when the distraction's pleasurin' your cock. That distraction's pushing me to climax.
You think we cum at the same time, right? Right? Wrong. Not everything's a perfect ending. Storybook, fairytale bull. Words on a page. That only happens in fiction. Sit still and let dear ol' Lyle tell you how his dick-sucking story ends.
With a jolt, Tom Nook shoves me back onto the floor. He's all up in my muzzle, fuckin' me. Nook's big dick is sliding up and down on my tongue. Bent over me, pinnin' me to the ground. Magic. His tip slips out between my lips. I stick my tongue out.
"Ah!" Nook cries, "Oh! Lyle!" His cock spurts out a thick rope of seed across my snout and onto my glasses. Bang! Then another as he passionately moans. Then again! He arches his back and thrusts against my chin. Boom! More jizz paints my whiskers.
Yep, ol' Lyle feels like a pornstar about now. A real horndog, I am. Dick in my mouth, raccoon jizz coverin' my face, a toy pleasing my tool. I'm pretty vocal in my moans now too. Luckiest boy in the world, I am.
Nook pulls his cock out my muzzle, and rubs me on the head again. There's another click, and then the vibration ramps up. The raccoon stands up and strides away.
"Oh! Oh God!" I yell. My schlong's spasming, and I feel the pressure building up. I shut my eyes, pinch my nipples and buck at thin air. Wham! I feel it! My jaw's hangin' wide open. Chops on the floor. And I'm bustin' something else now. Fresh otter seed belts my chest. It's carnal. It's euphoric. It's-
"LYLE!"
My eyes shoot wide open. Mr. Tom Nook? Gone. Enter, stage right! Pelly. The younger pelican from the post office next door. She caught me, alone. Lyle lyin' on the floor, butt-ass naked, covered in seed, shootin' some on himself. Thank Jesus that wasn't Lottie. It wasn't much better though.
"Pelly!" I tremble mid-orgasm, ever the charismatic ott, "You seem to... unnh! Have caught me! Bustin' my chops!"
The door shuts.
Kid, I haven't looked her in the eye since. Awk-ward. We're a progressive town. It's 2020. Sex happens! I'm just glad I've still got my job. And guess what? When I stuff my pants in the washer, boom, guess what slips out of my pocket? Tom Nook's personal number. Mr. Nook may not be gay, but he knows how to treat a man. I think. Still gettin' used to this whole "flirting" thing.
Anyways, you know what happens when I go into work the next day? Nothing! Mr. Nook! Silent. Cut to this morning. I mosey on over to T&T Emporium to grab me that new K.K. single. You know the store, it's run by Nook's kids, Timmy and Tommy. Two of 'em! Yeah, you know. Well. I'm browsing the shop and Tommy's lookin' at me all funny. I ask him what's up.
"Oh, Mr. Lyle! You may also find interest in our premium sale on the Lovely Bed, perchance you find a man to enjoy it with soon."
Okay. Where the fuck did he hear that!? First of all: that's a pink bed. Not my colour. And it's in a set that I don't even have. Bang! That doesn't match. I like my furniture matchin' my clothes, matchin' each other, matchin' my spare panties. No clue how he found out I'm gay.
I arrive at work and meet up with Nook again. He talks to me a bit less, but when I get up to leave, he stands up. He slaps a hand on my shoulder, and says, "Have a good weekend, yes?"
Have a good weekend!? Can you be-lieve the nerve of this guy? First he pulled me into the back room, he got his triple, then batted a run in, and then it's silence, and then, "have a good weekend". I'll have a damn good weekend, thank you very much.
And, boom! I get here, and you come up to talk to me. Then I don't know what happens. Lyle gets a bit drunk, but that's why he spills the beans. Brewster sells beers here, but only if you know him well, though I doubt he'd give a shit. No one lives here. Not even the mayor lives here. It's okay though, we get long summers.
Wait a sec... what was your question again? Oh yeah, the weather's been great recently.