Into the Mountains 05
The continued story of Imava and Fenrick.
I helped Emmett settle into the guest bedroom, hoping Fen didn't resent the shuffling around of his books. Em and I talked about a lot before bed, most of it was private since Fenrick did his own things. I figured he was still upset about the Seer, and knew we'd have to address that soon. I told Emmett about the babies, and he had a few more shocked things to gape about there. I did blush when he came around to the fact that Fen had a penis like a dogs, and Em laugh-giggled about it, which was at least better than the disgusted response I'd been expecting.
"So, you're happy here? With Fen? If you're not, I can take you back and ..." Em said, taking my hands in his.
"I'm happy with Fen, mostly." I frowned. "Things are a little rough right now but I'm going to talk with him before bed and we'll get better." When Emmett just waited, I told him about the Seer and our trip there.
Emmett was frowning sympathetically when I'd finished. "I'm sorry that happened. You know, many, many men in our society aren't faithful. They have mistresses, and visit whores."
"And if I'd married Harold, I wouldn't have cared. I only care because I love Fen, that makes all the difference." I told Em, who laughed.
"You? You told me you'd never loved anyone, and never would! You said it was silly!" Emmett said, and laughed again, but then saw I was serious and gave me a hug. "Alright Ima, I'm sorry."
"I didn't realize I didn't want him to have children with anyone else until ... I mean I still don't know if I want his children right now, really, but it's happening and I want to be the only one to have his children. And it took me so long to get over enjoying sex with him, to tell myself it was alright, and then I feel like just when I get past that, I have to accept him making love to someone else." I was crying again, all over Emmett, who rubbed my back soothingly and rocked me a little. It was nice to have someone not involved in the mess to talk to and comfort me.
"To be fair, I hardly think he made love to her. Fucked her, yes. But it doesn't sound like he wanted to, either. You said it had to be done." Em said.
"Yes, to save you from your stupid quest to come get me!" I snapped, hitting him lightly, though I knew he'd know by my tone I didn't really mean it. "And find out what will happen down each of our possible future paths. Though I've been thinking about others. If he doesn't want to fight Voltas, I'll either kill myself or try to do it myself. I'm considering trying to do it myself anyway, just something different, something that'll give us more hope we haven't heard about. I don't know." I sighed. "I don't know how to fight, I'd have to shoot him with an arrow, and I'm not even great with a bow."
"Why don't you try to work things out with Fen first, make sure you two will be alright huh? And then figure out the future. What's the point of making long term plans if you're not going to make it to them?" He asked, rubbing my arm.
I sighed. "We'll be fine. I love him. I mean, so long as his own guilt doesn't eat him up. He feels pretty bad about it I think." I shrugged. "Honestly, I'd probably forgive him wanting to take another wife, or something much more severe. It's hard to be angry and upset about it when he seems to be hurting so much too. I just want to comfort him."
"You have turned into quite the gentle hearted lady Ima, I think Hell has done you well." Em said, smiling at me and flicking his thumb over my chin. "Go make good with your wolf then. I promise not to peek in curiosity. Tonight."
I punched his shoulder hard and blushed deeply. But I only mumbled his name agitatedly in warning before I left him for the night.
I stopped off in the kitchen. I was eating more often now, when I wasn't queasy. I ate a little, but lost my appetite thinking of what Fen and I would talk about. Then I went into our bedroom, looking for him.
Fen was laying in bed with a book, his eyes fixed on the pages until he heard me enter, and then he put it away, his body shifting and churning as he turned back into his smaller form. He couldn't read like that, so he generally kept to his full werewolf form. I still hadn't seen his hybrid form. Apparently he wasn't particularly comfortable with it.
"Ava," He smiled when he saw me, though I could see the troubled look in his eyes. "Is your brother settling in alright?"
"Yes, thank you for letting him stay with us." I said, climbing into the bed with him. I sat in the bed though, close to him, and I pat his head trying to encourage him to come close and relax. "Come here hun." I said, trying not to think about how close he'd been with someone else the night before.
He crept across the bed and laid down at my side, putting his head in my lap. He looked exhausted, but then we had been up for almost two days straight, and he'd spent most of the previous night running. "Is . . . are you going to return to your lands with him when he goes back?" He gave a small, involuntary whimper at the end of this question. "I'd understand if you wanted to. I haven't exactly been a good husband to you."
"No, I'm staying here with you. That Emmett came for me doesn't mean anyone else would accept me, and more importantly, I love you." I said, and tilted my head downward to look him in the eyes. "I want to be with you." I scratched behind his ears and let out a big sigh. Then I laid back in the bed. I swallowed hard as I stared up at the ceiling. "You didn't knot her, right? You weren't ... busy long enough for that." I blinked back tears anyway at the thought.
"No," He growled quickly. "It wasn't a passionate experience in anyway. She was completely dry, and it took most of my time just to get things working enough to finish. As soon as I was done I left. The experience was far more upsetting that it was pleasurable. I can't say there was no physical enjoyment. My body had to feel good to function, but the distress of doing it was enough to make it one of the least enjoyable experiences of my life."
I put an arm over my eyes, trying to keep my tears under control. Of course I didn't want to hear he'd enjoyed himself at all, but I knew to have done things properly he had to have. It wasn't like for a woman where such a thing could be forced with little to no pleasure for her. My other hand I kept on his head, sometimes petting, sometimes just wiggling my fingers in his fur. "I know." I said, uncomfortable. A part of me told me I should demand he make love to me, but another part wasn't sure I wanted that anytime soon. I wasn't in the mood so much as feeling possessive, jealous. "How are you feeling?" I finally asked, knowing he had to have his own feelings to wrestle with. I also didn't want to bring up my jealousy over her having his baby, not when I wasn't sure I was completely alright with having the pups he'd already put within me. It felt selfish to say I didn't want his pups, but that I didn't want anyone else to have his pups either.
He nuzzled me. "Terrible. No matter how I look at it, I chose to betray you today. Our relationship was new and wild, and I've damaged that. I hope it will get better, but I don't know if it will, and that scares me. In addition to the family I'm going to have with you, I will now have a daughter that I am no parent at all to. That upsets me. Children are important to me. Even though I have no feelings for the Seer, I am distressed that there will be a child I don't care for or protect. The only thing I learned today that I can take with me going forward, is that I must challenge Voltas sometimes between now and just after our children are born or I will lose everything that means anything to me." His head had sunk back into my lap. "I am distressed."
I nodded and drew him up my body so his face was high up on my belly. "There are still these pups you can love, care for, and protect." I said softly, trying to be soothing though I knew there was a lot I simply couldn't make better. "Our pups." I said, at least owning them for the first time. I wished I could tell him I was happy to have them, that I wanted them. I wanted to want them, anyway, but I didn't feel anything for them yet. I felt bad that all his children were unwanted in one way or another. "As for Voltas, well, lets talk about him later when we've rested alright?" I asked. "I want to have us in a better place, if we can manage that."
I sat up suddenly and pulled off the green dress I was wearing. It was the largest one Fen had originally gotten me. I laid back down and rolled to the side facing him. "Can you see the bump a little? I noticed it the day before yesterday." I said, and then suddenly felt a little awkward being naked, which was silly. I blushed a little, but ran my fingers over my stomach. I felt a glimmer of something, pride maybe? That was just silly, I hadn't done anything to be proud of here. Something anyway.
Fen ran his nose over my belly, then nuzzled against it, and when he looked at me there was a happy sparkle in his eyes. "I know they weren't conceived under the best conditions, but I am excited to see them . . . to hold them." He moved his face back up to mine and nuzzled against me, licking my neck and chin. "These babies I am proud of. I love their mother, and I am excited to raise them with you." He nipped playfully at my neck and growled a little, which I guessed was his wolfish imitation of a sweet and loving kiss.
I huffed a short, amused laugh. "Good." I pressed my nose lightly to his. "And I love you too. I'm glad you're not so distressed you can't see and be excited about these other things, these good things in your life. I think that's probably a good sign."
"I am worried about the future, guilty about what I've done, but I still love you, and I still want to have a family with you. As long as I have that hope to hold onto, then I have something. I can be excited for that." He draped his tail across my belly. "Has the idea of carrying my babies gotten any easier on you? I know it has never been ideal for you . . . not part of your plans."
"Yes, easier." I gave him an apologetic smile. "I want to want them. I'm not angry they're in there anymore, I feel, ambivalent about it. At the moment. I hope I grow to love them, and be excited. I get excited thinking how excited you'll be when I have news about them." I said with a small laugh. "I like that I have something to tell you about that makes you happy."
"Well, love can't be forced. It's either there or it isn't. I guess we'll see how your feelings develop as the pregnancy goes on." He said softly, and I could tell he was just a little sad I couldn't take the same joy in the process he did.
"I'm sorry." I said, equally quiet and feeling guilty, ashamed. What was wrong with me that I didn't even love my own unborn children? Fen seemed to love them already, the idea of them anyway.
"You don't have to be sorry. This was forced on you. You didn't get to choose any of it, so it's understandable that you'd have trouble feeling connected to the little ones. I would even understand if you actively disliked them, though I'd hope it wouldn't come to that." He answered quietly.
"I don't dislike them." I said quickly, forcefully. "I'm even glad they're there sometimes, not always, it's true." I rolled a bit in agitation. "I love you I really want to love our babies. Some people just don't until they see the actual babies, maybe that'll be it. I'll love them when they're here." I hoped it were true, I hoped I'd find a way to love them before that, for Fen's sake at least. I sighed and rolled again onto my back.
"Whether you love them or not, I'll still care for you. I can raise them on my own. Freya will help too, I'm sure. I was prepared to be a single father, and I won't have to do that." He nuzzled my side with his nose. "Don't let it get to you. Not everyone wants to be a mother. That doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn't change anything about us. If things were ideal, we would have discussed it before getting you pregnant. That is on my shoulders."
"You have enough on your shoulder already." I told him with a soft smile. "And even if I don't love them, I love you. I'll still care for them, help raise and protect them. But I think I'll love them. There's no reason to think I won't, I'm just worried about it, like everyone who's about to be a parent for the first time." I curled up around him, and then pulled a blanket up over myself. It was chilly without my dress on. I nuzzled his neck. "We should get some sleep."
"Yes, we probably should." He agreed, and then he licked my cheek and nuzzled in close, his fur pressed tight against my naked body. "Sleep well, love."
I held him tightly, both wanting to fall asleep and not wanting to. I had nothing to lose him to, he and the Seer didn't care for each other, but somehow I still felt like I might wake up and find I'd lost him. It felt like we were still on shaky ground, though it felt better than earlier when there'd been mostly silence between us. I told myself I was just tired, that I couldn't help but also worry about what the Seer had said of our future and it was effecting everything else. Exhaustion won out, and it didn't even take long.
The next morning I slept late even though we'd gone to bed early. That was probably to be expected since we'd been up for so long. Fen was already gone for the day. He had to join the hunting party. He'd missed it the day before, and I didn't doubt he'd be run hard for that. That left me the day to myself, or at least the morning. It really depended on how far Fen and the others went on the hunt. I hoped they didn't get him hurt today.
I got up and made a little breakfast for Emmett and I. He emerged during the process, looking a touch stiff, a side effect of his injuries and exertions finally getting a chance to rest. "Morning." He said, and looked over what I was doing as he sat in one of the fur covered chairs. "Cooking? I'm not sure I trust you quite enough to eat that Ima."
I shot him a glare. "Fine, guess you're not eating then." He grinned and winked at me, letting me know he was just joking.
"I'm expecting someone this morning. She's a good friend, and will probably have some clothing and things for you if I ask. I hope. She'll be curious about you anyway. Her name is Freya." I told him.
Emmett nodded and took the food I offered him. "I don't know how long I should stay, things look tough here. I just mean I don't want to make them harder for you and Fenrick, and you're feeding and clothing me ...Maybe I could hunt something down for you guys or the pack." He frowned thoughtfully. "The thought of leaving you here with your future so up in the air really doesn't appeal to me Ima." His frown and tone were uncharacteristically serious.
I didn't want him to leave, but I didn't know what his presence meant in anything. The Seer hasn't mentioned him in our choices, maybe his being here would change things somehow. "We'll ask Freya what she thinks." I sat down with Em, eating and chatting with him about what the people from my old life were doing. I wasn't sure I should have cared, but I did. It was strange to hear about how life had continued without me, but I didn't feel particularly bad about it. Emmett made all the stories hilarious, he was good at storytelling.
After a short while there was a scratch at the door, and I opened it to let in Freya who padded in with her normal good-natured expression lighting her eyes. She came in and sat down on a chair after giving Emmett a thorough snuffing. "Well, this is certainly interesting. Is your entire family moving in?" She asked me after she'd settled.
Emmett laughed. "Oh gods Ima, could you imagine Lanzo moving here?"
I couldn't help but laugh, our second oldest brother was not the type to enjoy such an adventure, neither was our eldest brother, but Anthovis would have come in sword swinging gladly enough. "No Freya, and I don't know how long Em will be staying either." My expression darkened, and I wondered if it was alright to tell Freya what we'd heard from the Seer since it was forbidden to visit her. Fen had said that I could always trust her though. "We went to the Seer, and she had a lot of unpleasant news for us." I said, coloring a little because I figured Freya would know there'd been a price to pay, and the memory of what that price had been still hurt. It hurt more when Fen wasn't there for me to see and touch, claim as mine.
"The Seer? Fenrick must have been terrible troubled to go see her. He blamed her for the death of his parents for a long time. I've spoken with her before, but it was a long, long time ago. She's a sad, lonely woman, but she believes in her purpose. When the Pack passed the law that none of us could visit her, I snuck off the first week to see her. The trip went much like others had, she knew I would be there before I entered the cave, but when I went to leave she begged me to come back."
Freya gave a small whimper. "I couldn't, of course. It would have been dangerous to visit her again, and I think she knew that. Our pack owns the lands around her cave. She probably hadn't had a visitor since I was there when you arrived. It's a sad life, but I can't imagine she has much time left. When she passes, the suffering stops. Did she help you make a decision moving forward?"
I didn't so much hate the Seer so much as what she and Fenrick had been made to do together. Still, it wouldn't do me any favors to feel sorry for her. Everytime I heard about how much her life was unpleasant, I remembered that Fenrick's daughter was probably heading toward the same fate, and I didn't wish that on any child, particularly one that Fen would care about. I wasn't sure there was anything to be done about that, we had a lot of other things to deal with first. "I suppose. She told us what the obvious choices would lead us towards, and there's only one option with a hope of having us all survive. Fenrick will have to challenge Voltas, unless we do something unexpected and probably stupid."
Freya looked worried. "If challenging Voltas is your best option, then things must be dire. Have you considered just laying low and trying to live out your lives in peace? Maybe you could move once the little ones are strong enough. Voltas has gained a lot of support from the males who live to fight and take what they want, and they tend to be the strongest."
I shook my head. "She outlined those options for us too. Voltas will come for us when the pups are a month old. If we leave before he comes, the pups die anyway, and I don't fare much better myself. You know how Fen feels about the babies, we're not willing to take a path that guarantees their death. Fighting Voltas has a lot of uncertainty around it, but it's the only one with a chance that we all live. Does that mean that those are our best options and anything else we might consider would end even worse?"
"I'm not certain, but I believe the Seer can only see down paths that you've considered. Until you put the paths in consideration, they don't exist for her to divine. Contemplating other paths is possible, but it thrusts you once more into uncertainty, and often times trying to diverge from a given path just ends you on the same fate. It's very difficult to understand what goes into bringing about a certain future." Freya shrugged. "That's the problem with the Seer. Sometimes knowledge of a thing is worse than going in blindly."
She let out another low whine. "Whatever you choose to do, my husband and I will back you, and I know others that will as well."
"She said a lot of people will die down this path." I said, leaning back against the couch and frowning. "I don't like to think I'm trading a chance to keep our own lives for that of other people's. Particularly you or your husband's life. I keep thinking if only I weren't here, maybe Fen could make a different path for himself, but his life isn't great as it is, and I don't think anything he ever does is really going to win Voltas over even if I and the pups weren't in the picture."
"I really don't like sitting things out just because I'm not in any of your readings." Emmett put in. "I mean I am here now, and I really can't leave you with your future so uncertain. I mean I'm glad you love your husband, but I want you and my nieces and nephews to live, too. So stop talking about if you weren't here. We'll sort it out. Maybe I'll go see this Seer woman, if she's so lonely, I hate leaving people lonely."
"Em, leave her alone. She'll want something from you if she has anything to tell you." I told him darkly.
He shrugged. "Maybe I won't want to hear my future, I'll just bring her some food or something, have a chat. I'm a friendly sort."
I sighed. "Don't forget the bit about being raped and killed by the kin if you leave without the pack's protection, please." I grumbled at him.
"I agree with your brother. Leaving and taking yourself out of the picture isn't going to make the situation better. It would devastate Fen. I know he cares about you dearly." Freya said, and then she turned to my brother. "Emmett, if you want to see the Seer, I could arrange for you to get there and back safely, but it's a dangerous thing to do. You're not part of this pack, so it's rules don't apply to you, but neither does the pack's protection. If you're caught by someone who isn't a friend to Fen, you'll be killed . . . and possibly raped."
Emmett shrugged and grinned at her. "Well then, if I go it better be for more than a long chat and some dinner huh? I'll let you know, but it does seem sort of strange to have Imava and Fen's paths all laid out without me in them at all. I have no idea what to do! But I have to do something, so it seems to me with all the death in their readings I better make sure anything I do doesn't tilt them into that fate. Even just sitting on my hands seems like it might cause something dire to happen."
"This is exactly the uncertainty, double guessing I wanted to avoid." I moaned. "But I had to tell Fen that we would go to the Seer if he couldn't decide, if he needed the help. I had to say pay her price if you think you need to." I sighed. "Though I suppose you'd be dead Em, there was a kodiak bear on your trail. And not a nice young female you could charm out of eating you alive."
"Thanks for saving me! You're my favorite brother." He said, winking at me. It was a long running joke that I was his favorite brother, since when we were small and he let me dress up in his clothing to pretend I was a boy our other brothers could like. "What's done it done Ima, if I go and won't pay her price then so be it. I won't pay and I'll do what I think is best. Or should I do what I think isn't best, since if she asks for something big it means what I'd normally do is disastrous? Hm." I punched him hard in the arm, he wasn't helping.
"You said a lot of us will die if you challenge Voltas, but the truth is that a lot of us would gladly die if it would mean having the pack back to the way it was before." Freya said, returning to the old topic. "Voltas isn't a good Alpha. He's strong, but he's hard on our families and children. He says that it makes us stronger, assures that the weak are culled, but I have buried too many pups under his rule. I won't try to force you into action, but I think it's time someone stood up to Voltas and his ilk."
"We'll be standing up to Voltas. It's the only option. I just really wish it were 'we' and not all resting on Fen's shoulders. I feel useless." I mumbled and got up to go to the kitchen and do ... something. Anything for a few moments while I tried to push away the despair. Needlework and embroidery seemed like stupid skills when people needed killing. I knew Fen loved me, but a part of me still wanted to insist he could find another wife, and bitterly tacked on he could mate someone else just fine when he needed to. Which led me to scold myself that thinking that wasn't fair to Fen. I reminded myself that also to Fen, I had babies inside of me, little people, not just a lump to carry around. He would be hurt if something happened to them. This made me feel worse about my lack of connection to the coming pups. Voltas made me so angry, and I'd only been here a month. I wanted to kill him myself for all the trouble he was causing, the threat he was to what Fen and I had, but of course I lacked the skills to try and the knowledge of what that attempt would lead to.
"Freya, I've been wearing this same set of traveling clothes for three days. Might you possibly have something else I could wear somewhere? Imava seemed to think you might." I heard Emmett ask after I'd been off banging around to no purpose for a few moments. He was all charm and undaunted amusement. I wanted to throw a pan at him.
"Yes, I think that could be arranged. When we finish here you can come to my house if you'd like. Emmett, have you ever been with a kin woman before?" Freya asked the last question seemingly out of the blue.
"I'd love to follow you home, thank you. And no, Fenrick was the first of the kin I've ever seen." Em said and I nearly groaned, recognizing his tones as the ones he had sometimes used to coax kisses and things from my friends at home. Apparently, if Emmett felt any attraction to the kin he wasn't having the guilt problems I'd had with it. But Em was the adventurous type through and through, he'd do anything twice. He said it needed to be twice for most things, otherwise you might have missed something. I couldn't believe the two of them could think like this right now with death hanging over our heads. Well, I supposed I could believe it of Emmett.
Freya gave a low playful growl. "I look forward to it, and you needn't worry about my husband. We have an understanding in regards to sex. I've helped many pups learn the way of the kin, and I'd love to teach you as well."
I made sure I had any blushing under control, and then I came back out, passing Emmett a cup of water, which he took obediently as though he'd asked for one and that had absolutely been what my absence was about. He was really a good brother sometimes. Who was going to sleep with Fen and I's best friend. I nearly lost my composure and laughed about it. "Sorry about that." I smiled apologetically at Freya, she was the guest after all. I'd tried to lose a lot of my manners when dealing with guests and Freya in particular, but it was actually kind of hard to set them aside. "Thank you for coming over, I thought you would be curious to meet Em and would have gotten news he'd arrived."
"Freya said she has some clothing for me at her place, so I'll just finish this up and go over there with her, alright?" He said, holding up his glass a moment to indicate that was what he wanted to finish. He took my hand and squeezed it lightly. I gave him two quick squeezes back to let him know I'd be alright. I was grateful for all the comforting, old signals from when we were little that we still used when together.
I told Freya how my most recent crest was coming along, and then Emmett stood to leave. He handed me the empty glass and smiled at Freya. "Well my lady, I'd take your arm and lead the way but you're far more capable and lower to the ground than I am." He said with a laugh in his voice.
"I'll have him back before dark." Freya told me with a wolfish grin. She rubbed her head against his leg. "Though not long before dark, I think." She chuckled and headed for door.
It opened when she got there and Fen stepped in. "Freya." He greeted her.
"Fenrick, we were just on our way out. I'm going to find Emmett some new clothes, and maybe teach him a little about our culture." She said with another one of her tongue-out grins.
Fen laughed. "You two have fun." They walked out past him, and Fen limped into the house. "Ava, it is good to see you."
"You're limping." I said instantly, wanting to look at it. I had been worried this would happen. I looked back up into his face and set the glass I'd been holding in front of my belly in both hands to the side on a table. "It's good to see you too, I just wish you weren't limping." I said, giving him a brief smile before returning to try and look at his leg, coming closer to him. "Should I get my sewing things?"
He gave a low whine. "Probably. this one will take more sewing. I was bitten by a few dire wolves." When I circled around far enough to see the damage he had an entire trail of vicious bite marks up the back side of his left leg, and one or two on his right. He had other cuts and abrasions on his arms and chest, but those on his legs were the worst, probably because that's where the wolves could reach him the easiest.
I gave a very slight whimper-grunt of my own. It was strange to me how people could take on the mannerisms of the people they lived with, and I'd been doing it just a little with the werewolves. I wondered if I'd growl at our children when they did unpleasant things. "Alright, sit down." I got my things and several rags to help with the blood. "If you keep getting injured, you'll never be in good enough condition to fight Voltas." I said quietly as I started to patch him up, I was worried for him, I wanted Fen to be in the future with the pups and I.
"That might be part of the reason I'm sent where I am. If Voltas keeps me injured he thinks I can't challenge him, though I think this time he just wanted me dead. I was sent into a small enclosed valley and told that there were a group of elk making a home in there, well, these bites clearly weren't caused by elk. Strangely enough the rest of the hunting party never came for backup." He snarled the words.
"If his abuse of you is getting worse, I suppose you either have to act sooner than we thought, or pick a different path than what we've considered already. Emmett would try to kill him. I could try. I wish we could put it off, I want you to see the pups." I blinked a few times and had to take a moment between stitches so I could see what I was gdoing. "I want you to see them before you have to try and kill Voltas, with all the uncertainty around the outcome."
Fen gave a somewhat noncommittal grunt. "This was punishment for missing yesterday. Having survived it, it'll be a while before they try to kill me again. We have time yet. If anything ever does happen to me, Freya will protect you. As soon as you know something has happened, you need to go to her. She'll help with the pups, probably even raise them if you don't want to. If your brother is still here, it might be best for you to leave with him rather than stay here. I don't imagine things will be good for you if I'm gone. Not that they're great for you now."
I looked up at him from my stitching for a moment. "Stop that. I like being with you, I like it here, and what isn't great about it will be better when Voltas is dead." I looked back at the stitching. "I'll go to Freya if anything happens to you. And Emmett will help protect me and the pups. I'm not going to abandon them, I still think I'll love them eventually, and at that point they'll be all I have left of you and what you wanted for us. Em doesn't want to leave until things are settled, he cares about me too much for his own good." The stitching that needed doing was extensive and more difficult around the tearing marks the wolves had made.
When Fenrick spoke again his voice had a bit of growl to it. "Whatever comes of this, if I challenge Voltas you'll have a better life ahead of you. At least we learned that much from the Seer. Once I'm healed from these wounds, I'll issue my challenge. There is no point in putting it off indefinitely. We just risk someone we care about being hurt."
I finished sewing the worst of his cuts and sat up on my knees, taking his head in my hands and looking him in the eyes. "Please, please tell me you'll try to win, to come home to me. I love you Fen, and sometimes the way you talk, and with how guilty you've been feeling about all sorts of different things, I'm afraid you'll just offer yourself up as a sacrifice. I'm a better person for having met you, even if the beginning was rough." I gave him an amused smile, because our beginning had started with very, very rough sex. "My life won't be better because you're not in it. I'll always wish you were with me, and seeing you in our children will help, but only so much." I pressed my nose lightly to his.
"I promise I will fight with everything I have. It's the only way I can win. I want to come out alive. I want to be with you and the pups, and I will do everything in my power to see that happens, but there are risks. Voltas is very strong. He's bigger even than his beta, and his beta is larger than I am. Size isn't everything, but it counts for a lot amongst our people." He gave a short growl and then sighed.
"The full moon is tomorrow night." He said, obviously remembering because of me mentioning our first night together. It had only been a single month. "I will need to mate tomorrow night, but if you're not ready for it I will have to be restrained. The moon calls to a werewolf's passion. I won't be able to hold back."
Well that was a switch in topic. I let go of his face and leaned in so my head was against his chest. It sounded like I only had so long to choose, and there was no picking differently if I said yes. I ran my hand over the fur on his chest, as always enjoying the feel of it. "Are you ready for that? You are the one that was forced into it most recently." I rubbed my cheek against his fur and turned my hips to be more comfortably against him. I was between his legs, since I'd been working on his wounds while he'd sat in a chair. I thought about letting one of my hands slide down over his belly to find his cock, and the thought sent a flood of warmth through me. Well, I still wanted him it seemed, even so soon.
"I've wanted you since I had her. I feel disconnected, like my bond with you has been injured. I want to reestablish that we belong together. I want to know you, and stay close to your for as long as possible. So, yes, I'm ready, but I will not violate you again. I have chains and shackles mounted to a large stone block behind the house. It is what I used in the past."
I sighed against him. "I wanted you last night when we came home. I feel the same, about the bond being injured. I hate that I'm not the last person you were with. I'm feeling jealous and possessive." I admitted with a sigh. "But I probably would have cried last night, too. We were so exhausted. I get more emotional when I'm tired, and the pups haven't been helping there I don't think." I sat back to look at him again, and then nuzzled my face against the side of his. "Are your injuries too bad to be in wolf form?" I slid my hand down to his cock, fingers curling around his fur coated sheath. "Because I'd like you to knot me if we can manage that."
He leaned forward and licked the side of my face affectionately. "I should be alright now that I'm stitched up." He sat up and hopped off the couch. There was the usual crunching and snapping as his body shrank down to it's smaller size, though even his 'small' size would have terrified most people if they'd see him. Standing next to me on all fours he easily pushed his nose against my chest.
"I would like to mate you now . . . to make love to my wife." He said in his growly whisper.
I smiled, feeling oddly relieved that he still wanted me. I hadn't any reason to be worried about that, but apparently a part of me had been anyway. I headed for the bedroom, removing my dress as we went inside. Emmett would be home sometime, and asking him to knot me meant we'd been joined for some time even if my brother walked in. I sat on the edge of the bed and started touching myself. I was already excited, but not thoroughly wet yet. Besides, my fingers did feel good against my sensitive places. "Is the bed too tall for you to face me?"
He padded after me, and hopped halfway up onto the bed. "No." He growled, and looking down his body I could see his pink cock had slid out of his body. He hopped back down and pushed his nose between my legs. "I love the smell of your arousal." He growled, and then his warm, wet tongue slipped between my lower lips, lapping at my entrance as my fingers pressed against my sensitive areas.
I gasped and felt my excitement increase incredibly fast. "Your tongue is really good for that." I whispered to him, my finger rubbing a small circle over my particular sensitive nub at the top of my sex as his tongue slid over me. I pet his head with my other hand and then sank my fingers into the fur at the back of his neck as I moaned softly. I removed both my hands and looked down at him hungrily. "Mount me love, please. I want you inside me."
He hopped part of the way up onto the bed, nipping at my belly, breasts, and my neck as he moved up me. His cock pressed against my folds, his hips pushing forward until he was lined up with my entrance, and then he slid into me with one powerful forward thrust. A growl of pleasure poured from his lips. "Imava, I love you." He said quietly as he sank all the way into me to his balls. He began to move inside of me.
I reached up to touch his fur under his ears, his neck and shoulders. "I love you too Fen." I said, between a couple gasps. I moved a hand down to his lower back, close to where he was thrusting into me. "Oh you feel good." I looked down between us to watch his red-pink cock disappear into me and emerge again. Then I lay back my head and moaned as I came around him, earlier than usual. It was probably the attention we'd given me beforehand. I loved feeling him thrust through my pulsating sheath, the added resistance to entry and cling to his exit. "Harder? Faster?" I asked, which seemed to be my usual request when I had my initial orgasm before he was ready to release himself. I was holding his fur tightly, and I looked into his face, gasping and hungry for him.
He buried his head into my neck and picked up the pace, slamming his shaft into me with increasing ferocity. There was a low growl building in his throat as his cock penetrated my folds, pushing me apart to allow his strangely shaped cock to enter me at this incredible speed. He licked my neck, then nipped at it. I felt something larger and harder than his balls smack into the outside of my sex, and I knew his knot had slipped out of his sheath. He'd be cuming soon, and then he'd be trying to hammer that huge piece of flesh into my dripping entrance.
The thought of him knotting me, the physical pleasure and the intimacy of it made me cum around him again and grip his fur tighter. My sheath seemed to beg him for his release, for more of him to stay deep inside me. I was crying out in pleasure every time he slammed into me, and I came mostly in one long cry, my voice wavering with the force of his impacts against me. "Oh Fen." I managed when the cry didn't quite take me through to the end, my voice high with the strain of my orgasm.
He let out an orgasmic growl and his hips bucked against mine, pushing his knot hard against my entrance. It didn't quite go in, but I could feel his cock jerking inside of me as he shot his seed deep into my body. He slammed into me again, harder, but it still didn't quite work. His next attempt pushed me back across the bed, but I felt the satisfying pop as his cock locked into my sex. Fen nipped my neck, and then licked me. "Ava, gods, you feel amazing." I could feel his shaft pulsing inside of me as we sat joined.
"I love you." I said, relaxing some as I breathed heavily and shook every now and then still. I kissed his face and fur, and helped him the rest of the way onto the bed so he could lay with me in more comfort for the time we'd been joined together. I smiled and ran my hands over him, enjoying feeling connected to him like this again.
"I love you too." He said, nuzzling my neck. " . . . and this really does make me feel better. I feel connected again. Thank you." He licked my cheek.
"It makes me feel better too." I told him with a soft chuckle. "So it was best all around." I hummed happily. "And tomorrow night we can have crazy full moon sex." I winked at him. "But it was nice to have this experience again first I think. I guess I'm not sure how much of you will be here tomorrow exactly." I ran my hand along his face back into his neck fur, giving him a slightly worried, curious expression.
"It will be me, and I will recognize you. If you and another female were in the room at the same time I would still want you first, but the urge to breed is so strong it has to be sated, or I have to be restrained. I would never do anything to cause you permanent harm, but the sex will be rough, like our first time, and I won't be able to take a rejection." He whined a little. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, I want to have sex with you. It's alright if you're rough. It was frightening the first time, and it was painful since I hadn't wanted it and hadn't been with anyone else before. I want it this time." I told him reassuringly, and smiled. "I'll even refrain from saying 'no' this time, so you won't doubt and feel guilty when you take me anyway." I said, grinning and winking at him. My inner muscles squeezed his cock and knot a little, the thought of what was coming the next night making me a bit excited all over again.