FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

If Ralph had to feel one more animal's balls against the back of his head, he was going to lose it. The bear behind him loomed against him so closely his heavy stomach was practically resting on Ralph's ears. The snow leopard could feel the twitch of the ursine's sheath through slacks that weren't nearly thick enough. Worse still, every time he moved a half-step towards the animal in front of him, the bear took that as an invitation to shuffle closer. Ralph was almost hidden between the short, thick legs of the bear behind him and the slender but still powerful legs of a rabbit in front of him. He wasn't sure if Sam would even be able to find him.

It was Sam's idea to meet at the Watering Hole during the morning rush. Ralph had no idea the coffee shop was so busy; otherwise, he would have vetoed the suggestion and opted for their usual spot at the courtyard bench instead. True, they might run the risk of being conscripted into doing the bidding of a more senior employee, but at least Ralph wouldn't have to smell ball sweat and musk for minutes on end just to have a sip of coffee. At AccuraTech, it didn't matter where you went or what you did; if you were a junior employee, you were at the mercy of your superiors. There was no way around it, so the best you could do was pick your battlefield.

This one, as it stood, stunk. The gathered employees were a mixture of junior and senior low-level employees, anywhere from an unremarkable six feet tall all the way to an impressive 25 feet. The bear behind him was a little over twice Ralph's own nine-foot height, while the rabbit in front of him looked to be closer to 15. If either of them had noticed how uncomfortably close he was to their privates, they gave no indication. The bear probably even liked it, the pervert.

All he could do was bear it for now, until he got to the front of the line. Then he could get his coffee and bakon croissant, find an out of the way spot as close to the door as he could manage, and wait for Sam to arrive with news.

Ralph took a deep breath to steady his fluttering stomach. He had submitted his application to be the new Size Tech for Sector 14-B two weeks ago and hadn't heard back from anyone about it yet. Sam, somehow, had made connections with the Techs a few sectors over and apparently had an inside track on the hiring process. If the red panda's intel was good, it would give Ralph's prospects a major boost. Maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to get out of the Application Interface unit and take a position that fit a bit better with his personality.

It wasn't that he didn't get along with other animals. It was more that he didn't get along with most other animals at AccuraTech. Too many of them were only concerned about climbing the corporate ladder, raking in as much size as they could so they could lord it over anyone smaller than they were and stop being ground into the dirt by larger animals. In order to do that, you had to ingratiate your way into the good graces of more senior employees any way you could. For some, that was being as submissive as possible. For others, it was being amusing or charming. Ralph only had his work ethic and the pride of doing a good job going for him. He was awkward around others and couldn't figure out how to make that work for him socially to save his life. In the twelve quarters he's been out of AT University, he's only managed to get the standard minimum merit size increase every fiscal year. Meanwhile, Sam was very likely to push past 20 feet tall if his quarterly bonus went through.

But Size Techs didn't have to jump through the same political hoops everyone else did. Their work was judged by efficiency and accuracy alone; they reported only to the Chief Growth Officer and could let the work speak for itself. If Ralph was hired on as one of them, he would be given a sign-on bonus that would take him to the top of his Employee Tier (a whopping 30 feet tall), wouldn't have to work with sociopaths who only wanted to step on others or get stepped on, and best of all his manager would be worried only about the work, not how much he could kiss tail. It would be a dream come true.

The line moved forward as the rabbit in front of him made her order. The counter was designed for animals on the higher end of his employee tier; if he stood on his toes, he might just be able to see over it. Ralph grumbled and tapped the small, glowing square located beneath the lip of the counter; it would read his employee data and raise a platform from the floor to lift him up in a second.

It never got the chance to work. The fat bear behind him slammed an over-sized paw on the tile and practically knocked Ralph into the counter. The snow leopard found himself trapped against the bear's paunch and the unyielding, cool tile, his body locked by the overwhelming tide of his shock and anger. When the bear began to rumble his order, he squirmed against the ursine bulk, even throwing an elbow against an inner thigh. The giant never moved, his bassy voice rumbling on. He only stepped away once he was finished, pressing against Ralph harder for a brief moment before stepping aside.

"What the hell, dude?" Ralph hissed as he popped out from under the counter. Then he punched the bear right in the dick.

The smirk from the big ursine disappeared immediately. He doubled over fast enough to nearly hit his head on the counter; Ralph dodged to the side immediately. He was gratified by the shocked laughter of the animals around him, allowing a fanged grin before the bear rose up with a murderous hatred in his eyes. It suddenly occurred to the snow leopard that he had just punched an animal more than twice his size.

"You'll have to excuse my friend." A voice behind Ralph boomed over his head, and he felt a weighty presence behind him. The animal stepped forward, and he felt a distinct masculine bulge pushing against his neck and shoulder blades. A low growl built in his chest, instinctively. "He can get surprisingly violent when you get between him and his morning coffee."

The bear looked over Ralph's head and just like that the fangs were put away. "This intern is with you?"

Ralph glanced up to see the heavy, bear-like bulk of Sam rising over him. "Yeah, thought I'd treat him to a cup before sending him on his way to the ticket mines."

The bear's laughter was a low and rumbling thunder that raised Ralph's hackles. "You'd better treat him, then, before he gets himself hurt."

"You got it." Sam put a paw on Ralph's shoulder and stepped around him, looking towards the animal in line after the bear. "Mind if I cut ahead and order something for me and my friend?"

The 12-foot-tall vixen wagged her tail and nodded. "I'm not in a hurry. Go right ahead."

"You're the best." Sam winked and lumbered to the counter. Even though he was nearly three times his original height and had put on a lot of weight since leaving University, the red panda still carried himself with the sinewy grace that came natural to his species. Even Ralph found himself a little distracted by the long, striped tail as it waved behind him. He ordered a turmeric-bamboo cappuccino for himself, and a cafe breve for the cat. Once he was done, he sauntered over to Ralph, making sure to keep himself between the leopard and the bear the whole time.

"You're going to get stomped flat one of these days."

"It'd be worth it if I didn't have to put up with him frotting against the back of my head for ten minutes just to get a cup of coffee." Ralph folded his arms defiantly, hackles still pushed past the collar of his button-up shirt.

Sam laughed and turned to stand next to the smaller snow leopard, his ringed tail curling loosely around him. "You shouldn't let that get to you. You know how it works -- it's only a power move if you give it power."

Ralph snorted and shook his head. "No, it's a power move because they think they can get away with it. I bet you three inches that bear is going to think twice before he pulls that move again."

"Or he'll be more aggressive to the next junior employee that he comes across. Or maybe now he's just gonna have a hard-on for humiliating you."

Ralph looked at the bear as he collected his drink and walked stiffly out the door. "He can try all he wants, but I'm not going to let that happen."

Sam chuckled and reached down to ruffle the cat's head. "Yeah, I know. You're a little terror."

Ralph ducked that massive paw. "Stop that!"

The red panda blinked, stunned by the rebuke. Then he visibly relaxed, following Ralph's gaze to the crowd of animals queuing and sipping and chatting. "I'm not trying to dominate you, Ralph."

That got Ralph's fur to lie flat, at last. "I know that. But it's bad enough that everyone saw you step in for me. Now they're going to think I'm some...kept colleague. A pet."

Sam's gaze turned down towards him, yellow eyes shining with amusement. "You say that like it would be a bad thing. You know I'd spoil the shit out of my pet."

Ralph allowed himself to smile, his tail flicking once behind him. "Any junior employee would be lucky to have you, but it's just not my scene."

Sam took a deep breath, his much thicker tail thumping weightily against Ralph's legs. "I can't imagine your scene has much room in it for anyone else."

Ralph felt the twinge of annoyance return. He really didn't want to talk about this. "Just no room for animals who think they could look down on me."

"It doesn't matter how other animals look at you, dude. It only matters how you look at yourself. If you stopped hissing at everyone who made you feel small--"

"Then I'd have to put up with everyone lording their stature over me all the time. Hard pass. Now, what's the news on the position?"

Sam's short ears flicked. "Well...a decision hasn't been made yet. But there are a lot of animals gunning for the job. I wouldn't pin your hopes on it."

Ralph's tail lashed, and he caught the growl rising in his throat before it snarled through his teeth. "I already know how hard the job is to get. I need to know how I improve my chances of getting it."

Sam shrugged. "I'm not sure you can. I mean, your work speaks for itself. You keep your head down, you do the work, you've got good numbers. And the hiring committee isn't swayed by sucking up. So...I guess the best for you to do is hang tight."

"I've been hanging tight for weeks now. And I know there's some other animal out there playing the game to get the position ahead of me. Just tell me what the game is. I'll...I'll do whatever I have to." Ralph couldn't keep the desperation out of his voice. He could see himself as a Size Technician, working with the Matter Converter on his own, an impartial and respected member of the AccuraTech family. When he thought about leaving the cafe to start his shift, dealing with Allan and Sergei and Jessamyn, his heart sank into his stomach. He had to get out of his team. He just had to.

Sam stared at him with a sympathetic expression and sighed. "I know you would. But I've asked. Nothing is the best thing you can do right now."

He knew Sam wouldn't lie to him about something like this, and that the wah was giving what he genuinely believed was his best advice. But it wasn't good enough. He had been toiling away for years, putting in his best work, putting up with the abuses of his manager and colleagues, and he had nothing to show for it. If he couldn't get this position...he didn't know if he could face another quarter being his team's scratching post. Sam would never know what that was like, simply because people liked him better. He didn't know why he couldn't move through the crush of animal-kind with the same ease, but he couldn't. And it angered him.

"I've got to go," he said as the barista served up his drink. He snatched it from the counter, nearly spilling it, and stalked past his best friend with his ears flat and tail lashing. "Thanks for nothing."

Ralph knew it wasn't fair, and inwardly he blanched at the stricken look on Sam's face. He practically sprinted to the door just so he wouldn't have to look.

"Keep your head up, little kitty," the bear said as Ralph left. It took everything he had not to throw the cup of scalding hot brew at the ursine's crotch as hard as he could.