A Horse Walks Into A Bar

Story by jackdog on SoFurry

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Sorry it took me awhile to get another story out to you all. Thanks to my partner in crime Equoaurelius, we co wrote a fun short story of smut and sex. Enjoy.


By Jackdog and Equoaurelius

Warning: This story contains scenes of adult sexual content. It's not meant for anyone under the age of 18. Otherwise please proceed and enjoy

A short story of how one equine's harried week changed for the better due to an unexpected encounter at a bar

It was one of my worst weeks. One disaster followed another at work, and to top it all off, a blind date with one of my friend's co-workers, a human. Now, I've dated humans before and have occasionally enjoyed myself. The thing is, as an equine, many people have expectations about the given size of a certain area between the thighs and the abdominals, if you know what I mean. Yes, our reputation is well deserved, but I've always felt the person was more important. Their intelligence and their personality is much more exciting. Yeah, yeah, I can feel you rolling your eyes, but I really mean every word I'm saying.

The name's Beck. I'm a thirty something equine of American Quarter horse descent. I stand six four, have a light brown coat with a white muzzle, black mane and tail. I'm lean and athletic and possess a nice-looking face. I work downtown at an investment firm. I've done very well for myself. I own a very nice apartment here in the city and already have a sizable portfolio for my future retirement.

So, I called this guy and made plans to meet him on Tuesday after work at this great little restaurant just around the corner from work. It's a nice casual place to sit and talk and get to know someone, plus they make a mean veggie burger. Well about twenty minutes into our 'date' I realized this guy was nothing more than a size queen. It was more about him getting into my pants than it was about getting to know me. Needless to say, I was out of there like a shot, making a mental note to give my coworker a real tongue lashing. Moreover, the guy continued to call and text me until I finally had to block his number from my phone!

So, Friday after work I walked out my door and down to the corner to a place called 'Terry's'. It's a nice friendly little neighborhood bar and grill. I walked in, it being early for a Friday night, there were only a handful of patrons in the place. I waved to the bartender as I moved to the end of the counter and took a seat on the last stool.

I had been coming here for about six months, ever since I bought my place. So, in a way I had become one of the bar's regulars.

"Hey Beck, good to see you." Max, the co-owner of the place called out. He was a brown colored bull with an infectious smile and personality. It also doesn't hurt that he was built like a tank and easy on the eyes. His wife worked around the corner at a local art gallery, and were expecting their first calf in a few months.

"Hey," I said with a general lack of enthusiasm.

Max picked up on my mood, "That bad huh?"

So, I gave him a recap of the week, while he listened with the occasional nod, uttering a few 'I see's and 'wow's.

"Well it sounds like you could use one of our killer triple grilled cheese sandwiches after the week you've had. But first, what do you want to drink?"

"Thanks buddy, how about a glass of Glenlivet neat?" I replied.

"You got it." He moved to get my drink and to put in my food order.

While waiting, I looked up and saw a haggard face staring back at me from the mirror behind the bar. "You look like shit," I muttered under my breath.

All of a sudden, I felt the presence of someone sitting down on the stool next to me. A deep baritone voice asked, "You doing okay there, big guy?" In my foul mood, I didn't respond or even look up.

Max appeared with my drink, and asked the newcomer for his drink order, "Sapporo on draft if you have it." That deep clear voice got my attention this time, if only slightly. I held the glass in my hand turning it around with my hooved fingers. My right ear swiveled as the voice again asked me how I'm doing. In a bit of an irritated voice I responded, "Just another crappy day in paradise."

I flinched as I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. "Would you like to talk about it? Or shall we savor our collective pity in silence?" That voice smirked ever so slightly.

I turned my head to say, "Hey buddy, what the hell would you kn......" But I was interrupted by the image of the most incredible looking stallions I had ever seen. The overhead canned lights bathed his face and head in sort of a halo. His blonde mane and buff colored coat took on an ethereal glow. I sat there, my muzzle agape, lost in the depths of his soft green eyes.

He smiled back at me, lightly squeezing my shoulder, "People tell me I'm a good listener and judging by the look on your face I think you could use one."

As the fog finally cleared my mind, I said, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, what did you say?" I tried to recover from the shock of having such a fine piece of horseflesh sitting next to me. I could feel the flush of embarrassment for having gawked at this guy, while at the same time I felt my cock hardening in my pants from arousal.

This Adonis turned to face me. He had his mane pulled back into a ponytail. He was wearing a light blue dress shirt and a pair of charcoal slacks, doing little to hide the sizable bulge in his crotch, "I was asking you if everything was alright. You seemed to be sulking over here and I thought I might try and cheer you up."

Still feeling flustered I took my drink and downed its contents in one quick gulp, causing me to start coughing.

He patted me on my back while I continued to cough, "Hey don't choke too much, we'll have to save that for later."

I finally recovered from my coughing fit and with my head down I said, "I'm sorry for my rudeness, it's been a monumental craptastic week for me." I stuck out my hand to him, "Hi, I'm Beck."

"Adam. And no worries. Anything you want to share with me? I've been told I'm a good listener." He placed that strong hand again on my shoulder as he smiled once more.

Maybe it was the sound of his voice or the way he flashed those pearly whites, but suddenly my foul mood began to lighten. Still grasping his hand, "It's nice to meet you. Sorry for the way I reacted to you, I'm not normally this negative." I gave a weak smile while thinking this is one hell of a good-looking stallion.

"There's no need to apologize. We all have weeks like that," he responded. His smile deepened into a grin as his hand lightly messaged my shoulder, "Though there are better ways to forget woes than drinking them away."

A shock ran up my spine as my cock expanded further and began aching. "Is this guy hitting on me?". I felt the heat from my flushed face, uttering a small nicker without even realizing it.

The palomino let out a small chuckle, "What's the matter handsome, can't handle a flirting stallion?" He slid his hand from my shoulder and began to slide it down my back, feeling out the thick muscles that line my spine. I arched my back slightly from his touch. My good-natured self was returning in spades. Here was this guy who I just met, and I swear to god he was giving me that look.

With renewed confidence I responded, leaning forward slightly, "The real question is, are you biting off more than you can chew?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm sure I can find a bridle to keep that fine body of yours under control."

Mr. Stud slid his hand farther down my back until I felt its firm grip on my ass cheek, lightly massaging it. My butt almost came off the stool from the touch. With one hand on the bar rail, the other planted firmly on his left thigh, I leant in further. "You plan on riding me cowboy?"

Adam took my other hand and placed it on his crotch, and with a lick on the edge of my ear, he replied, "You ready to feel the sting of my whip?"

A shudder ran through my body. God All Mighty! The hard-on in my pants became palpable. No matter how loose or well made your pants might be, they just weren't designed to hold in a stallion in heat. "Fuck" I quietly said, looking over to my left, blushing. Max was standing there with a smile on his face as he wiped out a glass with a towel. I turned toward this stallion, "Let's find a more private place to play."

My new friend said to Max, "You got a backroom or someplace we can use? Or do you prefer we do it right here where you can watch?"

The big bull chuckled before replying, "As much as that sounds like fun, we do have health laws we have to abide by." He fished a ring of keys from his pocket and laid them on the counter, "The storeroom is down the hall, first door on your left. Try not to make too much of a mess and clean up afterwards, got it?"

The big Palomino tugged on my tail. "You ready to go big guy?"

I looked at the bartender with a smirk. "What the hell? Lead the way."

He planted a kiss on my muzzle, his hand pressed against the back of my neck, before quickly pulling away. Keys in hand, he walked toward the hallway. "Just make sure you can keep up with me," he called out over his shoulder.

My mind felt detached from my body as I followed behind him. The sight of two globes of horseflesh bouncing up and down in those tight slacks mesmerized me. I waited a moment as he unlocked the door and hurried inside, before I followed him.

The room was sparse, containing dozens of boxes and other sundry items related to the running of a bar. Up against the back wall was a maroon leather sofa. It had seen better days but was still serviceable.

Before I could take more than a few steps into the room, he stopped, turned around, and kissed me once more. Hands slipped under my polo shirt, sliding up my thick abs to my chest. Pulling it up over my shoulders he tossed it aside, accompanied by an approving wicker. He once more forced his tongue into my mouth, wrestling with mine, fighting for dominance.

The kiss took me by surprise, but didn't phase me, and I returned his ardor with my own. Now I've been with plenty of humans in my life and enjoyed my time with them. Most were just a one-time fuck, and some had to do with the curiosity of being with an equine. Others really got my rocks off and were wonderful sexual partners. But nothing compares with being with another horse: the feel of a thick lolling tongue as it roamed around your mouth, swishing it around your tongue and teeth while darting down your throat. If the fuck is the main course, then kissing is the appetizer. And just let me say, he could kiss.

He removed his lips from mine, moving to my ear, tongue tracing the edge of it before plunging deep within. The stallion took my hand and placed it on his prominent bulge, while the other slid inside my jeans.

And gods! The feeling of his tongue in my ear, the feeling of his body against mine, his hand grabbing my cock sent shudders down my spine, and right into my dick, leaking a shot of pre within my underwear. I leant my muzzle against the crook of his shoulder, my voice barely above a whisper, "Fuck me, Hoss."

He pulled me to the couch, pushing me onto the cushions. I looked up into his eyes, and a commanding stare greeted me, telling me everything I needed to know. I reached down to unbutton the fly of my jeans. I leaned forward as I slid them down my legs. With a quick movement, I kick them off with my hoof.

Sitting there, I watched as he undressed in front of me. His shirt was damp from perspiration as he removed it, tossing it to the floor. Next came his belt and pants which joined the shirt on the floor.

"No underwear, nice" I said to myself.

The sight of his dark brown cock bobbing to his heartbeat was breathtaking upon a body which was a roadmap of veins as they criss crossed over thick sinuous muscle.

I moved my hands and knees to the sofa. Extending my back, I pushed my fulsome ass into the air. My tail arched, showing off my black anus and pucker. I felt the weight of his body on top of mine, pushing me deeper into the sofa cushions. Calloused hands roamed over my cheeks, his hoof-tipped fingers spreading them apart. I heard him exhale as the air tickled my exposed rump.

The tip of his cock pressed against my hole, before it was removed, leaving a thick residue of pre behind. I flinched from the intrusion of his index finger as he slid his natural lubricant into my rectum. My own cock hardened, pushing farther out from its sheath. My blunt flare bumped up against my hard abs.

Without warning, he shoved his stiff prick into my body. I let out a large grunt as inch after inch of cock slides deeper within my rectum. Nothing prepared me for the girth of this monster.

Just when I thought no more flesh could penetrate my insides, his medial ring slipped past my pucker. I hissed between clenched teeth, my head dropped between my shoulders, drool hung from my muzzle onto the leather surface beneath me.

A whinny of lust released above me as his semen-filled balls bump against mine. "You ready to be ridden?" my lover spoke, as he grasped my mane as if riding bareback.

I moved my hips and legs to find purchase against the sofa. My muzzle buried in the cushions, responding, "Ride me cowboy, show this pony your spurs."

I saw flickers of light behind my closed eyes as that blunt tip repeatedly kissed against my prostate. My hands balled into fists. I shoved my muzzle deeper into the cushion. I felt my own cockhead sliding back and forth across the leather surface, the friction releasing small squirts of pre from its slit. All I could think about was how full my insides felt as that deep fucking continued. I began rocking my body in rhythm to those thrusts, pushing my hips back against you, aiding your desire to slide deeper inside me.

The Palomino fed me with as much horse cock I could wish for. With pent up lust, losing all sense of control, he let his feral instincts take over as if he was taking me like a mare in heat.

I think, "Is this what our feral cousins feel when they rut with total abandonment?" My brown coat was damp with sweat. My breathing was full of rasp and erratic. Balls slapped up against each other as the sound of two stallions rutting filled the room. I felt like I'd bust my gut at any moment.

Suddenly, a piercing whinny filled the room as my stallion gave one last thrust, spurts of hot seed filled my gut as I felt the heat bloom within me. The flare expanded, pushing harder against my prostate. The intense pressure finally brought me to orgasm as heavy shots of cream drenched my face and body.

My lover's hard body went limp atop me. The only sound is of two spent ponies hard breathing. Opening my eyes, I see an upside-down world. Cum dripping from my body, with rivers of semen sliding into the cracks in the sofa cushions. My tongue slips from my muzzle as I begin to lick it free of my own bounty.

I felt the body above me shift as he slowly moved back and removed himself from my insides. I groaned as that bloated cockhead slid from within me. I felt a bit of suction and then a 'pop' sound as that shaft was pulled free. I realized how tired my muscles were as I slowly lowered myself to the cushions. Lying on my side I feel him slide up behind me, his body against my back. I feel his semi-hard cock pressing against my ass cheeks. Strong arms enveloped my torso as he gently licked my neck and shoulder, low nickering sounds emanating from my throat.

______________________________________________________________________________

"Hey Beck, wake up." My world was black but I was brought back to the light by an incessant voice. I slowly opened my eyes, seeing a large object standing over me. "Well, hello there sunshine, welcome back to the land of the living." The glare from the overhead light made it painful to open my eyes any farther than a narrow slit. Still groggy I said, "Did anyone get the number of the truck that hit me?" My voice sounded thin and raspy.

The pounding headache, along with every muscle in my body, felt like they had gone through a meat grinder, making it hard for me to move. "Come on lover, let me help you up." Large hands placed under my arms pull me upright on the sofa. I felt the stickiness of dried cum pull against my coat and leather as I was brought to a sitting position.

With my hands on my head I ask, "What time is it?"

Max responds, "It's two in the morning. The bar's closed and I'm getting ready to go home." Still trying to orient myself I ask, "Where's Adam, is he still here?"

"Naw, he left hours ago. He told me to let you sleep it off, so I did."

I finally look up to see the visage of a bull with a huge shit eating grin on his face. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing. It's just I've never seen you looking so 'used' before."

"Fuck you." I heard the deep bellowing of laughter coming from my antagonist.

"Stop laughing and help me up you oversized grass grazer."

Max helped me to my feet. He waited while I regained a sense of balance. He let go as I start to move and stretch my tight muscles. He shoved a glass into my hand and a couple of aspirin in the other.

"What's this for?" I asked, looking at the contents.

"Medicinal purposes," he said simply.

I could smell the alcohol. I brought it and the aspirin to my lips and begin drinking it down. Without warning, I heard gurgling sounds coming from my stomach.

"I thought as much. Go on and clean yourself up. By the time you get dressed I'll have that grilled cheese and some fries ready for you," he turned and left the room.

I headed into the bathroom, turning on the faucet, and began splashing cold water on my face. Fifteen minutes later I was dressed and heading back out to the bar. Max was setting the plate of food on the counter just as I sat down.

I asked him for another drink. Nodding, he turned and moved up the bar. Feeling somewhat clear headed, I think about how amazing the sex was with the palomino. But as I sat there, I started to get annoyed by the fact he would take off and leave me alone like that. Then it elevated to anger. Who the hell does that pony think he is. He fucks my brains out and doesn't even have the decency to wait until I wake up.

I grabbed my sandwich and tore off a piece as I sat there chewing and stewing in my anger. Thoughts of kicking that equine's ass and tearing him a new one danced in my head. Max brought me my drink. It's then I realized I needed to pay my tab before I headed back to my apartment. I reached behind and pulled my wallet out of my back pocket. Leafing through it, I pulled out some twenties and laid them on the counter. As I took a sip of my drink, I noticed something stuck between the bills. I reach over and remove it. It was a business card. Looking at the front of it, it said, "Jones and Bartlett, Architects, Adam Jones AIA."

I stared at the card for a few moments, finally turning it over. Written in perfect cursive it said; "Thanks for the fun Hoss. Call me if you want to go riding again."

I looked at the image in the mirror behind the bar as a wide grin looked back at me. I turned and said, "Hey Max, how about one more drink for the road and make it a double."