Always Here For You
Just a story that I thought of while hurting in my room. It's not based on true events or anything, just me venting.
hope you enjoy
Zack sat at his kitchen table reviewing notes for his Music class at Grainger High. He sighed and ran a paw through his dark grey fur, only to have his slight fringe fall back into his face, concealing part of his right eye. His visible violet eye was caught by the crumpled up postcard that lay beside the pile of papers. The tired Wolf leaned back in his chair and picked it up.
The picture on the front was of the California Coast. A long stretch of golden beach with azure waves lapping at the sand, palm trees lined the coast, their huge leaves glowing an emerald colour. He flipped it over to read the message on the back, even though he probably knew it by heart now.
Zack,
Hope you're doing well! Sorry for not writing much but I've been real busy! I'll be coming home on September 6th, should be in the airport at about 5:30. Don't come. I'll come to you, don't want you to get harassed by the paparazzi :) See you.
Love Ryan xxx
He looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It was 7:30. Ryan should have been here by now. He had been gone for six months, recording in California and doing gigs with Marcus who was his producer. Zack knew Marcus would be home with Oliver by now.
"He must be caught in traffic." Zack thought and he went back to his papers.
8:00.
Zack couldn't concentrate on the grading and was staring listlessly at the clock, his insecurity slowly clawing its way back into his mind.
"Who am I kidding? He's not coming here. He'll have forgotten me. " He thought. He sighed sadly and stood up. The absence of his beloved fox hurt. He felt like the walls were closing in around him and he felt a sudden urge to get out of the apartment. He needed milk anyway. He grabbed his wallet and mobile from the counter and headed to the door. He pulled on his black converse and long coat before exiting apartment number six and locking the door behind himself.
He walked to the supermarket and bought milk. As he left the shop he heard a group of teenage girls talking and giggling.
"Ryan Grady is by far the best!"
"He's sooo hot!"
"I know! I can't wait for his next gig!"
"Me neither! Hey I wonder if he has a girlfriend?"
"If he does she must be someone totally beautiful and way cool!"
Zack bit his lip to hold back tears and hurried away from the girls.
He wandered for a bit and somehow ended up at the park. He sat on the swing and gently swung back and forth; trying not to think about how unsuited he was for Ryan.
"How would they react...if they knew he was with someone like me..." he thought.
When his dark thoughts started to take over his mind again, he left the park and went to the little sweet shop on the corner. Zack was a secret sweet tooth for chocolate and was a once a week regular at the candy store.
He bought a bag of his favourites, milk chocolate with caramel center, and then slowly walked home. He sucked on one as he walked, distracting himself.
What he saw when he reached the top of the stairs to his apartment nearly made him choke.
Ryan was leaning on the railings with his paws in the pockets of his black, artfully stressed, skinny jeans. He wore his big, plain black hoodie and dark sunglasses covered his sea-green eyes. His fur, a light redish blonde, blew in the light breeze. He had his IPod earphones plugged into his ears and was tapping a foot to the beat.
Zack was frozen to the spot, staring at Ryan like he was an apparition. He clutched the plastic bag tightly, trying not to think about what the girls had said.
"...by far the best!..."
"...Sooo hot!..."
"...Girlfriend..."
"...Totally beautiful and way cool!..."
Their words echoed in his head and he couldn't make them go away. All he could do was stare at the man he loved. Stare at the man that had left him alone for six months with no call or postcard or contact of any kind. He felt pointless, insignificant behind Ryan's fame.
Ryan glanced towards Zack casually, like he was checking to see if someone was there. He did a double-take when he saw Zack and his face visibly brightened. He pulled the earphones out of his ears and pushed away from the railings, tugging the sunglasses from his face.
"Zack! Oh god it's so good to see you! I missed you so much!" Ryan exclaimed a huge grin across his face.
Zack smiled a small smile.
"I missed you too." He said quietly, and then he went to the door and pulled the key out of his coat pocket. He unlocked the door and went inside. Ryan followed him chattering about his trip and the sights.
Zack methodically pulled his shoes off and hung his coat up. Then he took the milk into the kitchen and put it carefully in the fridge. He threw his keys and wallet into the bowl on the little stand by the kitchen door and slumped into the chair at the table. Ryan trailing behind him like a chick.
Zack pulled a chair out and sat down tiredly.
"Mind if I take a shower?" Ryan asked. Zack shook his head and Ryan kissed his cheek before heading into the bathroom.
Zack didn't get it. How could Ryan go away for that long and not contact him at all, then just expect everything to be the same as it was before? Zack had missed him so much that he had felt like his heart was trying to escape his chest.
He clenched his fist tightly.
He couldn't stop thinking about the musician. What made matters worse was that Ryan was on the television for live recordings of gigs and his music was always on the radio and he was all anyone ever talked about at the high school. He had to share Ryan with billions of fans. Zack's insecurity got worse the more people loved him. He began to feel like he wasn't good enough. He was just a plain, boring, music teacher whereas Ryan was a shining, cool, idol to thousands of people, an amazing musician and singer. Zack felt as though he was holding Ryan back.
"Zack, your hot water doesn't last very long, does it?" Ryan said cheerfully as he re-entered the room fifteen minutes later.
"Mmmm." Zack didn't look up, he couldn't look at the musician, couldn't let him see the feelings he was trying to hide.
Ryan's face fell and his smile saddened.
"Well, I can see you're busy so I'll go back to my place, I'll see you tomorrow." Ryan said and he walked to the front door.
Zack looked up and at the doorway Ryan had just left.
"No..." He thought. "Don't go!"
He leapt from his seat and ran to the hallway. Ryan had the door half open. Zack threw his arms out and around Ryan. His palms hit the door and his momentum slammed it shut with a crash. Ryan looked over his shoulder in surprise. Zack felt tears well up in his eyes. He squeezed them shut and leaned his head on Ryan's back.
"Don't go," He murmured. "Please."
Ryan let Zack take hold of his wrists and pull him around. He pushed Ryan against the door and pinned his wrists above his head with one paw. Zack leaned down and captured Ryan's mouth in a passionate kiss.
The fox moaned. He had missed Zack's taste but was afraid to say. Zack licked Ryan's lips and Ryan opened his mouth. Tears sparkled down Zack's cheeks. He sniffed and caught Ryan's clean, just-out-the-shower smell.
Ryan pushed his smaller body against Zack's and Zack groaned with desire. He pulled his wrists from Zack's grip and dragged his paws through the mess of grey fur, tugging slightly. Zack responded by pressing Ryan against the door again and kissing him fiercely. His warm paw slipped up Ryan's t-shirt. Ryan wrapped his legs around Zack's waist and the wolf carried him to the bedroom.
He dropped Ryan onto the bed and pulled off his t-shirt, throwing them into a dark corner. He dragged Ryan's shirt over his head and then straddled his waist. They resumed kissing, getting more and more passionate and aroused with every passing second.
Zack finally groaned and tugged at the studded belt around Ryan's waist. Ryan undid it and slipped off his jeans, kissing and biting at Zack's neck. Zack scrabbled at his own belt and, with trembling fingers, managed to undo the stupid thing. He unbuttoned his jeans and, with a little help from Ryan, managed to pull them off.
Ryan's body arched as Zack slipped a paw into his boxers. He moaned and pulled Zack down to himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zack woke the next morning to the sound of his alarm. He reached out and hit the 'off' button. Then he groaned, rolled over and sat up. He was sore all over but he was still bathing in an afterglow. He put out a paw to steady himself and heard a crunch of paper as his paw connected with a folded note.
It was then that he realized that Ryan wasn't there.
"Maybe...maybe he went to the bathroom or something." He thought.
He unfolded the note and read,
I got a call from the studio
Ryan xx
Zack frowned. Was that it? Couldn't he have written more? Why did he have to go? What he was doing? Who he was with? And...when would he see him again?
He curled up into a ball and hugged his knees. Why? Why did he do this to him? Did Zack really mean anything to him? Or was he just good for sex and nothing else?
Zack's insecurity had brought his mood crashing down. He had felt dejected and horrible all through his first class of the day. He had to work during the break to get the notes he didn't finish on time. He had a headache.
"Oooo, You look so tired Mr. Wilson" said a teasing voice from behind him. "Rough night with someone?" Zack immediately tensed and turned to face the biology teacher, Mark Boggs.
The teacher was a tall, chubby brown bear. He was dressed in a shirt and black trousers but no tie and the shirt is untucked. How he gets away with this Zack has no idea. His usual silly grin is in place but Zack knows not to be fooled by it. His temper can snap like a brittle twig and the students call him an assassin from the way he could be stood right behind you, watching you, and you wouldn't realize until he spoke.
"No, just couldnt sleep." Zack lied.
Mr. Boggs raised an eyebrow.
"Oh yeah? Well I'm sure you'd sleep better if you'd spend it trying to sleep instead of fucking around with someone!"
Zack paused to figure out what he had said and then answered,
"Sir, don't you have your next lesson to plan?"
"HA!" Boggs pointed a triumphant digit at Zack who took a step back and crashed into the desk. "You pulled that one on me last week and I have COME PREPARED! I have already planned my next lesson! Hahaha!"
Zack sighed, rolled his eyes and sat back down, pulling his lesson plan towards him.
Mr. Boggs wandered over to the window.
"Ooo, look there's a kid down there talking to Xavier. He looks too old to be a student though." He said leaning on the window frame. Xavier was the schools "insane" otter math teacher.
"Mmmm." Zack wasn't paying any attention. He studied the plan and then checked that he had the correct instruments for that lesson.
"He's wearing a black hoodie and sunglasses, as if he doesn't want to be recognized." Boggs described him despite knowing that Zack wasn't paying attention.
But Zack had stood up and joined him at the window. Sure enough, looking down into the grounds, he could see Xavier talking to a shorter figure dressed in a black hoodie, skinny jeans and converse. Xavier gestured up at their window and the man looked up. Sunglasses covered his eyes but Zack would recognize him anywhere.
He turned from the window and hurried out of the room.
Boggs watched him go with a bemused expression. He looked out of the window and saw Zack hurry across the grounds to the pair. The music teacher said something to Xavier and he walked off, waving a paw over his shoulder as he did.
Boggs raised both eyebrows and a delighted grin spread across his face when he saw the short fellow envelope Zack in a hug.
"Well well well, something you're not telling us Zack?"
Zack pulled Ryan by the paw to a more private spot away from the main building, somewhere where he could take off the sunglasses and not risk being interrupted and found out. He took him to a spot that was concealed by huge weeping willows. A light breeze stirred the hanging branches.
He turned to face the musician.
Ryan pulled him into his arms again and kissed his forehead.
"I'm so sorry about this morning! Marcus called me, there was something wrong with the recording and I had to redo it before we released a taster copy for radio." Ryan explained.
"It's okay, I get it." Zack forgave him even though he didn't really understand. He was just happy to be back in Ryan's arms.
"No it's not okay! Especially not after last night! I should have woken up with you! So to make up for it I'm taking you out to dinner tonight."
Zack looked down at Ryan in surprise.
"Out to dinner?" he asked.
"Yes, it wasn't fair of me to run off like that, so tonight we'll have dinner at Lockets. Then the night will be ours, no interruptions!"
Zack's eyes widened with pleasure. Lockets? That was the expensive place in town! Zack had only been there once before for a group celebration with their friends a few years back. He smiled up at Ryan. He looked so happy and pleased that Ryan wanted to hold him here forever.
"I won't be late either, I promise." He kissed Zack again, on the lips this time. Zack found his insecurity washing away. He melted into Ryan's kiss and clutched at the front of his hoodie.
The bell rang sharply, interrupting the kiss and summoning the students back to classes.
"Seven o'clock tonight, I'll meet you there!" Ryan said, stealing one last kiss before he replaced his sunglasses and pulled his hood over his head to conceal his obvious fur. Zack waved as Ryan walked away and then hurried back to the school, feeling buoyant.
He was going to Locket's tonight with Ryan and Ryan had promised him he wouldn't be late and that they could have the night together with no interruptions.
He practically skipped into class and spent the rest of the day with a smile on his face.