FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Family... heh, something I wish I had right now. Well to put it into more perspective, a family that was a family, than just those who know each other by blood.

I have a mom, a dad, and a sister. I'm not very close to each of them, not even equally distance either. I don't connect well with either of them; not at each other's throats but lacking of a strong bond. My sis had a better bonding with Mom as I did with Dad. However the bonding between me and Dad wasn't quality enough. It was more spur of the moment and then a gap of nothing.

I have several aunts, uncles, and cousins but always felt overwhelmed or shy around them only because the um... how overly excited they were to see me while I was the exact opposite, scared and nervous, especially with my cousins. Smiles were a bit too heavy. Eventually they stopped trying to greet me or left me be after many attempts to get me talking about what's going on in my life and I had literally nothing to share because my life was dull, boring and depressing.

I didn't know what to say or do, and my cousins had interests I found distasteful or boring, at least was in my view. Rarely they had a game I enjoyed and wanted to play more of, but they found it boring and wanted to do something else I felt uncomfortable of doing. Same happened with some friends over the years; just grew apart like that.

..... ..... ....., ..... ..... .....?

...No, I don't miss any of them.

.....?

Any of them. Whlie I may have grown up with majority of them, I never connected well with them. Heavy lack of common interests than just one, heavy lack of talking points to get a conversation going. Besides, I refused to talk about a few things that I knew would be either boring for them or cause conflict; and I've had to deal with that as a kid between my sister and my mother alone. Almost on a weekly basis they would be at each other's throats in a shouting match. I've long since blocked those out of my mind.

.....?

...There are some friends I miss, but they're better off I'm not a part of their life anymore. I believe they're happier without me. Besides, made better friends here than from my old home. Maybe if those--

..... .....! .....?!

Ah flimrod, let's go!

Maybe if those suits didn't invade and demand respect at a grave cost of living, my friends would be still living with. Shame I'll never see them again even if I do go back.