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The Sweet Smell of Wood Smoke

By: ToKu

The sweet smell of wood smoke clung to his jacket like tar in a smoker's apartment, only this smelled nostalgic somehow; reminiscent of his childhood when his father used to take him camping when he was still a pup. The embers would glow orange under the crackling yellow flames in a round pit made from stones of various shapes. Every now and again he would purposefully drop his marshmallow into the fire just to see it flare up in a chemical reaction; just sugar burning brightly, but that was then, and this was now. Fond childhood memories aside, he was still out in the woods, with his family and friends, collecting more firewood to feed his masterpiece back at the campsite; only now he had a magnificent bear to stare at while he did so.

The sun had already gone down below the distant mountain ranges to the west and the rolling hills of evergreen to the east stretched on for a miles before it dropped down to a small village with a population of about two hundred. It was way out in the Ozarks, but it was where his father had brought him, and now he had brought his own son, dragged his wife along, and invited his best friend and his family to share it all with.

His keen canine eyes lingered on the large bear before him, mounds of muscle and fur shifting under a black and red flannel as he lumbered about, picking up twigs and broken branches dry enough to feed a fire. For a huge black bear he sure wasn't very big on the whole outdoors thing. Working ten hours a day as a general contractor only makes the big bear want to stay home in his comfortable armchair, with a cold beer in one paw and the TV remote in the other.

He wasn't much different either; in appearance anyways. He wore his blue and black flannel with just as much pride as the bear, his matching blue jeans and trucker hat telling the world, or the surrounding trees at least, that he was just as much a redneck. But on the inside he was more liberal than the next fur and even though he had a beautiful wife and a handsome young son, on the inside, he ached for something he was never able to let slip past his lips before.

He stared as the looming black bear bent over, placing a paw on a heavy bough long enough for the crack of his ass to show above the waistline of his white briefs before adding the limb to the collection between his other arm and belly. The grey and black canine would have dropped his own load of branches if he hadn't seen that wonderful ass crack before a thousand times. Instead he shivered and dove for another stick, trying to keep his mind on gathering firewood and not thinking about his buddy's manly, bubble of a butt; round black tail sticking out through the hole in his backside like a black powder puff.

"I don't hear those obnoxious kids of mine." Rex grunted so suddenly the wolf almost did drop his armload of wood; nearly hopping on one foot-paw to make sure he didn't lose any. Rex's huge bearish form had turned around with his words, hiding the view of his ass to reveal the constant semi he always seemed to be sporting but never noticed himself. The canine's gaze lingered there for a moment, his mind flooding with fret over firewood and lust for his one and only true friend in the adult world, if he could even be called that.

"Maybe the wives have got them all settled down." Reggie replied as he tried his best to lift his stare from denim covered crotch to the brown, indifferent, bear muzzle. It was hard to look away, even after years of secretly stealing glances at the black bear, but fear of being caught kept him ever vigilant. Rex wasn't even fully looking at him, his mysteriously simple mind thinking of other, simpler things, staring off towards the direction of the camp sight and not wondering if his friend was checking him out. He was in the clear for now; safe from the xenophobia that came with his fear of the truth ever coming out. "I know Nalia can keep my boy in check."

Rex didn't even seem to notice his words, his muzzle twitched as he stared up over the points of countless pine trees, scoping out the cool twilight air. A gentle breeze blew down into the clearing then. He stood and for a moment he closed his eyes and let the refreshing air course through his exposed face fur; sending his pointed ears up at attention. It was soothing, a pleasant reminder that he was supposed to be enjoying nature and not the sight of his friends ass or massive bulge.

"Not likely, Reggie." The black bear spoke suddenly. The collected load in his arm came crashing down then, shattering the serine feeling the breeze had briefly brought. Reggie twitched with annoyance as each ear went a different direction but when the bear pulled a compass from his coat pocket it almost made him grin before he remembered the scattered branches.

"What the hell was that for?" The wolf asked his unlikely counterpart. Despite being an indoor fur his friend had cared enough to bring a compass, he never really was able to get used to the lack of decency the bear always seemed to express, but it was one thing that attracted him to the bear. Again he was ignored and was left to wait, his words food for the wind. He waited, heavy load under his arm while Rex took his time calculating their whereabouts. In Reggie's opinion, he was lucky he 'was' so attractive; he would have found a better friend when they were still in high school if Rex wasn't the most attractive piece of male ass he had ever laid his blue eyes upon.

Rex turned about, staring intently at the little circular object in his paws like it held the answers to the overly complex universe; complex to him at least. Reggie had gone on to collage while Rex had gone through a quick trade program to get his contractor's license. The wolf could have ended up the bears boss if he wanted, but decided to pursue a carrier in Aeronautics; Dealing with plane diagnostics and regulation. Their professions aside, they ended up living next door to the other years later when they both had kids and both were rooted into their own lives. Reggie had to almost beg Rex to come with him on the trip. He didn't take no for an answer, he even bought the bear a tent for the trip. Rex wasn't able to say no after that.

"Shit..." Rex grunted and stared back up into the sky, his black fur almost glittering in the twilight. Reggie knew he was buzzed; at least five beers worth, but his face was calm and collected, though a little annoyed himself, it seemed. Instead of asking what it was that had the bear all worked up Reggie let his own load of branches fall to the ground; though a little more gracefully and more collected. He straightened out, worked the kink in his back out and frowned at his friend, keeping his gaze above the waist the best he could.

"What now?" He asked. One by one, stars were appearing in the bowl shaped sky. Pink clouds seemed to be painted as thin streaks here and there, but not enough to block out too many of the early pin pricks beyond. "If you just remembered that you left an un-opened can of beer by the fire again I swear to god..."

"Shut it will ya Regg, I can't hear my kids." Rex growled without taking his gaze off the sky. The wolf couldn't help but roll h is eyes. As much as the bear seemed to be worried about his boys at that moment, Reggie knew the bear secretly wished he could go back in time and never have them. Kind of a morbid thought, but Reggie understood. Rex was forty two and had three obnoxious cubs who never gave him a moments rest at home. Before the big bear spoke again Reggie somehow knew this wasn't concern about his boys. "Do you know how far we walked?"

"How far?" The wolf asked.

"I was asking you, smart ass." Rex replied.

"I don't know," Reggie refrained from rolling his eyes again and tried to add in his head. "Maybe a half a mile at most."

"In what direction?" Rex asked and took one last look at his compass before replacing it in his pocket.

"Shit," Reggie replied suddenly realizing what the bear could be so worked up about (As worked up as the bear ever got.) "I don't know, Rex. North?"

"The sun was setting at our backs, I thought." Rex spoke and scratched his left ear in thought. "Damn it Regg I thought 'you' were the big mountain wolf. Why didn't you take note of where we were going before we went?"

It was genuine concern, something rarely seen from the mass of black fur. Reggie just figured that maybe he was just worried he would get sober before he got back to camp. The wolf was used to this side of Rex but he did his best to remain calm, they couldn't be lost, they couldn't have gone that far for that matter. If the sun was setting at their backs when they left all they would have to do is head back that way.

"Let's just head back that way then." The wolf said pointing to where the sun was now setting beyond the canopy of pines a good twenty feet tall. The whole sky was now a pale blue with an orange tinge in the west. Rex stared for a moment in the direction Reggie had pointed, obviously thinking the decision through before blindly believing his friend. The wolf sighed and made to pick up a few branches from his forgotten pile when the black bear cleared his throat.

"We better hurry then," He spoke and re-fit his hat to his head and took a few steps from his own pile of fire wood. "If the sun sets then we won't know where to go. We don't have flash lights and unless you started smoking again I left my lighter back at the camp site. So I won't be able to see my compass either. We'll be fumbling though the dark, blind and lost."

"Do you have to make it sound like the end of the world?" Reggie asked with his ears going as far flat against his head as his trucker hat would allow. He abandoned the wood at his foot-paws and took a few steps closer to his buddy across the clearing. "I take it you don't want to take the wood either. It makes all this for nothing. Least we could do is take a few..."

"Listen," Rex growled as he approached and suddenly took hold of the wolf by the collar of his shirt when he got within reach, bringing him close and nearly lifting him off his feet. His eyes narrowed and his claws easily punched a few holes into the fabric of his flannel. The scent of anger, no, fury, was suddenly strong, like a cork had been blown off a bottle of stale wine. "You dragged me out here on this gay little trip. I'm not going to stay lost out here in the middle of fuckin' nowhere with a damn fool wolf who thinks he knows shit about being a mountain-fuckin-neer."

Reggie's eyes went wide in fright. Dazed and frightened, never having been on the receiving end of the bears temper before. He stared wordlessly into the narrow dark eyes, muzzle slightly agape and nearly ready to piss himself in terror. He didn't have the strength to fight back, not against him. Rex had always been his friend, the one he liked the most in life. He wouldn't have brought him out here if he truly didn't want to; then again, he had forced him in a way. Had he pleaded with the bear beyond the appropriate point? Had his secret feelings gotten the best of him, blinded him, made him clueless to the other guys dislikes?

But before he could say anything more than a yelp the bear's features softened and paws loosened their grip until the wolf's foot-paws were both firmly on the moss covered ground again. That frightful face turned away, seemingly shamed at what he had done. Reggie could hardly believe it at first. His arms shacking and legs feeling like jell-o, it was a wonder he could even stand on his own without the strong arms holding him up. His other side, his more masochistic side, somehow wanted the firm, fierce grip back. He never had really been a passive wolf. He had his masculinity. But with Rex he liked standing under his shadow. Like being a part of who he was. Even in high school. When they would hang out, it was always Rex and Regg, never the other way around. He liked being the underdog, no pun intended. He just never knew he could actually make the bear angry for real.

Taking a breath was hard to do, but as the bear took a few steps away, pulling a cigarette from his shirt pocket; he didn't look ready to make any kind of apology regardless of how his facial features appeared. It seemed like he didn't want to fight because it wasn't worth it, not because he didn't want to. It made breathing worse. Reggie pulled the air into his lungs like taking a breath underwater, and even in the midst of his turmoil he couldn't stop himself from staring at the bears crotch as he took up a seat on a nearby bolder. The cigarette rested in his lips motionlessly, and he made no move to light it. Reggie knew he couldn't anyways and for some reason his paw subconsciously placed itself into his pocket then, surprising Reggie as it landed on a pack of matches he had used earlier to start the fire that now burned somewhere in the unknown distance without much fuel to feed it.

The light was fading fast but he could make out the words on the white label as they rested in his open paw. He still felt a little stunned from his surprise attack, the right thing to do being delayed getting to his brain. He had to look back and forth from the dark mass across the clearing to the pack in his paw. Reggie took a step, taking another deep, painful breath, breaking a twig underfoot as he shifted his weight. Rex's head turned slowly and Reggie tried hard not to lower his gaze to the bulge he knew still existed. Holding up the pack of matches was all he could do. Very slowly, and not stressing the slowness enough, a grin crept across the bear's honey brown muzzle.

It was such a relief. It meant that the anger wasn't permanent, or hateful; that Rex had lost his cool in a very un-cool situation which was completely understandable. Reggie took the remaining steps and placed the matches in the bears out turned paw; taking a seat next to the bear atop the large rock. Rex quickly struck one up and brought it to his cigarette with haste, breathing in the thick smoke before letting it out through his nose. Reggie had quit a few years back but the warmth he felt beside him was too welcoming to move in offence to the smoke. Nalia hadn't liked it and his son's asthma had gotten worse because of it so he kicked the habit, but he found he didn't mind the aroma so much as it wafted to his own nostrils.

"Regg, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..." Rex tried to speak but Reggie couldn't stop himself from interrupting.

"No," The wolf shook his head as he placed his paws on his knees and took a deep breath through his nose. He could smell his friends scent; his fur, his shampoo, his sweat. He wanted to inhale until he became light headed, but he continued on instead. "You had the right. I shouldn't have dragged you up here. I knew it wasn't something you wanted to do. I just wanted to share it with...someone."

"You've got your boy." Rex said after a moment's pause. Reggie turned his head a bit to look into those darks eyes that he had daydreamed about for years. The bear nonchalantly took a drag of his cigarette before exhaling it out with words "Why couldn't you spend it with him? Dylan seems to actually enjoy it. I just don't know why you wanted me up here."

Reggie thought a moment. He knew why, He wanted Rex here because he liked him, as more than a friend, he just had to think of a different reason to hide the truth. He couldn't spill the beans now, not after what just happened. What 'would' happen if he did? It was almost unfathomable.

"I like you, Rex." He said then quickly made to make it sound more 'friend' like. "You know, you're my... My only friend. You always have been. I just thought you wouldn't mind a little guy time. Ruffin' it in the woods."

Rex apparently couldn't think of anything to say to that. Reggie only hoped it was because he felt grateful or flattered, but it was hard to believe such a thing. Rex always had an emotional side equivalent to a blunt axe, never showing much more than a blank stare or a frown. The grin he had worn did fade, but it was far from the frown that Reggie expected. He almost looked thoughtful; cigarette hanging limply in between his lips as the smoke slowly rose in swirls into the night air. The cherry glowed bright as he sucked in, casting a warm glow across his round furry face. Reggie watched hopeful for signs of understanding. The scent of tobacco and black bear awakening the secret feelings he stored deep inside. His chest felt tight, constricted by smoke and desire, those dark eyes staring back at him not helping one bit. He felt himself arise in his pants, his mouth go dry, and ears perk up as his head moved forward. All he ever wanted was to be close to the bear, underneath his arm or simply close to his side like he was now. All his emotions were flooding through him; overflowing like a broken levy. Keeping his lips from Rex's was impossible.

The cigarette fell to the damp forest floor, smoldering among freshly fallen pine needles as they met, lips to lips, wolf to bear. After all the years of yearning and longing for such a thing, nothing could have prepared Reggie for such feelings of bliss. His paw met Rex's thick thigh; even above the denim he could feel the muscles, bulging as lips met and two became one. He could taste tobacco too, and beer, even though their mouths were shut. It was truly heaven, if there really was such a thing, then this was it; kissing another male, his best friend. When he felt Rex pull away and the leg move from under his paw, Reggie figured something more was coming, his heart beat faster and his chest became tighter in anticipation. He barely had enough time to open his eyes to the dim twilit world before the fist came swinging into his field of vision. He didn't even have time to frown before it made contact with his muzzle and sent him flying backwards to the cold soggy ground.

Stars literally seemed to dance before his eyes. The bowl of pin pricks spun round and round in a dizzying whirl among the backdrop of black. It was a celestial soup of stars that Reggie would have found pretty if the pain in his muzzle wasn't suddenly a throbbing nuisance. Cold air filled his lungs as he painfully gasped for the breath he had lost in the fall. It was beyond dizzying. When he was finally able to place his paws into the dirt and ease himself up the trees to either side of him seemed to wobble as if the whole earth was flat and about to topple over. When the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth and tongue felt the loose tooth within he could only stare in disbelief at the blurry mountain of black fur above him.

His face was utterly blank. It almost hurt worse; the fact that he could punch a furson in the face and not show any emotion was reason enough to cry. But he held it in, not wanting to shame himself worse. He wasn't even sure as to what had happened. He had kissed him, that much was sure, then, he was hit. Not even the black and brown face was proof to that, for all he knew, Reggie could have been looking into the eyes of a statue. His legs didn't work right away either, not that he wanted to get up; that was the last thing he wanted to do. He wished he could hide, crawl into the moist earth beneath him and escape the black bear's gaze. 'Oh god, his fists are balled, he's waiting for me to get up so he can hit me again. Why did I have to kiss him? Why, damn it, why?'

It was quite relieving when Rex's large form turned on his foot-paws and began to trot in the other direction; west. It was only then that he realized he'd have to say something out loud. It was truly dark now and before the form disappeared at the edge of the trees he gasped, taking in a chest full of air, preparing to speak when the deep and indifferent voice spoke from the darkness.

"I smell smoke." He said simply. Reggie sat up, wiping his paws on his pant legs, keeping his eyes from the dark shadow among the trees. He wasn't sure how good Rex's night vision was, but he nodded and stood, dusting off the seat of his pants. When he did look up, the bear was gone. A deep painful feeling arose in his chest then, worse than the cold night air. He had never done anything embarrassing in his life. Never made himself feel this way. Never dug himself into a hole that was too steep to climb out of. If he had ruined his friendship with his only male friend then he couldn't see himself being happy for a very long time into the foreseeable future. He sighed and took a deep breath, he noticed he could smell smoke too, the scent of a dying fire. Hastily he gathered up a few of the discarded branches in which Rex had been responsible before quickly hurrying after his once upon a time friend.

It's not easy; traversing a forest at night, even for experienced outdoorsmen. Twigs snapped under paw, often times sending a thin fallen branch whipping up to sting a leg or misplacing a foot paw on uneven ground. Even with a fine pair of denim jeans, it was harder for Reggie because not only were his eyes just about useless, but his inside felt ablaze in a sea of fire that burned his very soul to the core. Guilt, fear, shame, all roared like fire under a bellow; raging like the gods and devils inside him, it was a wonder he could keep himself from shedding a single tear. He wasn't a sissy after all, he was just different. He had emotions, and wasn't afraid to express them at times; unlike a certain bear he had known. But now, the last thing he wanted was for Rex to see him crying.

He stumbled onward; through thick trees and over rugged, pine needle covered ground; nausea wanting to overtake him any moment. But he swallowed hard and continued on, using the sound of an enigmatic black bear to lead him onward. It was strange too, despite the kiss and the fist to the face, not a single thought seemed to make it to Reggie's brain for processing. Or if one happened to get by his emotional dam, it was quickly stomped out by the brick wall that he had built over the years of hidden secrets. He simply hung onto the few branches in his arms and sucked up what he could to keep himself moving.

Heard voices then and despite wanting to collapse, he hurried on with the voices as a guide. He wasn't even sure where Rex was; if he was ahead or behind or even to the side. All he knew was that when he got back to the camp he could busy himself with the fire, with dinner, and with his own family. Reggie took in a deep breath, drawing in air becoming harder as he noticed the familiar incline they had descended an hour ago. His feet tramped over small pebbles and other woodland debris but when the glow of a warm fire broke free from a layer of trees he felt his heart become lighter, the heavy feeling fading a bit as he approached. He only hoped Rex wouldn't say anything. In fact, he knew he wouldn't, thank god. The bear was stubborn and proud, the last thing he would do was tell his family and Reggie's about what had transpired in the woods.

He broke free of the foliage with ease and ache. His side was in a knot and the branches in his arms weren't helping. He heard Rex's boys speak first. A flurry of 'dad's back' and 'you left your beer, daddy' bombarding the black mass as he emerged at just the same moment. How they had ended up twenty feet apart was a mystery, but the tired, defeated look on the bear's muzzle spoke thousands of words to the canine. The heaviness remained at bay, but he felt the aching rise of guilt get caught in his throat that nearly made it impossible to swallow.

He watched as Rex's boys tugged him along by the shirt sleeves to the fire where it looked like they had been acting as pyros. Burning twigs looked close to falling from the pit and the bag of marshmallows was nearly gone, most having melted to the rocks that made the pit. The camper chair creaked in disagreement as the bear sat with a long, hollow sounding sigh. It literally hurt to hear, Reggie's ears went flat as he hung his head. 'What have I done?' He asked himself. Had he truly ruined things? He made to shake his head in worry but was unable to finish his sulking when his own son came up to him.

"That's all you could find?" The fifteen year old pup asked. He was dressed in black jeans with a grey zip up hoodie with an unfamiliar logo across the front. His son Dylan said he wasn't a skater or a punk rocker, but he would often dress in attire that would suggest that he was. The boy said he just liked to express himself. Reggie wasn't sure what the boy had meant at first until he remembered the arm full of firewood. It wasn't much, a few thick logs and some twigs as fuel but it truly wasn't adequate enough to sustain the dying fire. Quickly he licked his teeth behind his lips (careful not to hurt the newly loosed one) and swallowed the small amount of saliva in his mouth. He didn't want to have blood on his teeth that could arouse questions.

"Uh, we had more, but we lost some coming up the hill." Rex hadn't brought any back. He thought quickly, trying to think of an excuse for his seeming lack of effort. "Rex lost his entire load, but I told him I'd go back out in a little while and find some more."

It seemed to work. Dylan nodded and offered to take the wood from him. Reggie gladly relinquished the load and watched his son trot to the pit. His eyes met Rex's then; beer can halfway to his lips, cigarette resting in his other paw. He didn't seem angry or upset at first, but before Reggie could make the simplest apologetic gesture, those dark eyes narrowed before falling back to the fire where they stared with such intent. Dylan was talking, saying something to the bear, and for a moment, his heart stopped. Reggie watched, and hopped that he wouldn't take anything out on the boy.

"Everything alright?" The words brought his attention away from the fire and to his wife; Nalia. She wore a light white sweeter, unbuttoned, but her arms were crossed and her paws rested on each of her upper arms like she was colder than she let on. Her face showed concern, her ears being lower than they normally were, and Reggie knew she wondered why he and Rex had come back to camp separately. He thought he'd save her the question.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Reggie spoke taking a deep breath before continuing. It was like he could sense Rex's presence, his brooding thoughts, his contempt. He could be imagining it all, but the idea seemed unlikely. He would empathize with the bear, figure what it would be like for a male to receive a kiss from another male; uncomfortable to say the very least, and while he wished he could be anywhere but here in this camp, he figured it best to busy himself instead of ruminating over such thoughts. "Rex just lost his patience with the hike. He's not very big on the whole outdoors thing." He spoke with a lower voice, least the bear heard him. He didn't want to create anymore repugnance between them than there already was. "I said I would head back out and collect some more when the fire begins to die back down, but we should have enough for supper. Speaking of which, I should get to preparing it."

Nalia seemed to take well to the explanation as well. She agreed to get the necessities for hamburgers ready while he tended to the duty of preparing the campfire grill. It wasn't the easiest of jobs either. Normally he could have it set up in only a few minutes, but Rex's presence besides the fire pit made the job harder. The poor wolf would purposefully leave things behind in the car so as to make and excuse for not staying fireside for long. Dylan would offer to fetch things for him, but Reggie would insist, in as quiet a voice as possible, that it wasn't any trouble. He would steal glances at the bear but each time Rex would be supping on his beer can or just drawing his hat down over his eyes. Reggie knew he was avoiding his stare but he figured that it was for the best. There was just too much awkwardness between them at the moment. He knew how he felt, but hadn't the slightest idea as to what the inscrutable bear was thinking.

When the burgers were sizzling over open flame; dripping grease causing the fire to hiss and spit, Nalia thought it a good idea to let the men tend to the fire as she borrowed Dylan's assistance in preparing the condiments. Reggie could only imagine the sputter and spat of the fire was an embodiment of Rex's inner feelings at the present moment. It was like leaving two male lions to fight over the pack, and Reggie was the wounded one who didn't stand a chance. At least he could admit to himself that perhaps his imagination was running a bit rabid, but it was hard to tell. The bear was a sentinel. He would hardly move except to raise his beer can to his lips. His eyes never seemed to meet his, but then again, Reggie wasn't trying to meet his eyes either.

Dinner was noisy, mainly thanks to the two younger bear cubs. Jay was twelve, and Kory was thirteen, their mother Brea, short for Brianne, always had trouble keeping a handle on the two. Dylan was a little too old to contribute to their shenanigans beyond a crude joke that the two didn't really understand anyways. The wives gossiped amongst one other as the adult males didn't utter a word. Every one ate; the kids seemed to swallow theirs whole, but Reggie could hardly eat at all. Every time he would look across the fire's warm glow, the black bear on the other side he would either be buried in his burger or sunk into his beer. It was agony and every passing minute seemed to make things worse. He figured that there 'was' a 'possibility' that things could blow over. But by the time the food was put away and the children were all pretty much settled down in their own tents, Rex was still roosting in his chair by the glowing embers of the dying fire.

Brianne had already retired for the night; her energy all but spent on her children. Dylan had objected but grudgingly agreed to share a tent with Jay and Kory. With only an undershirt and a pair of boxers on, Reggie slowly zipped up the tent, his stare lingering hopelessly on his friend, his...black bear.

"Is it just me or is Rex acting a little stranger than usual?" Nalia whispered as her husband turned and lowered himself to the forest green sleeping bag that he had used for many camping trips before this one. He positioned himself the best he could, making sure there weren't any rocks beneath him before fluffing his pillow. Feminine blue eyes stared at him through the semi darkness and he couldn't help but lie despite the truth in his chest that seemed so close to bursting forth.

"I'm not sure; he was very forth coming about his dislike of nature in the woods." Reggie said. It wasn't completely against the truth, part of it was true. Rex has shouted at him, even before the kiss, before the fist, before the pain, physical and emotional. Then he remembered the little compass that Rex had had. He wanted to cry then. Because regardless of his unwillingness to 'ruff it' he had giving it enough thought to go out and buy a compass. Nalia shrugged and took a soft breath that made Reggie shiver. He loved his wife, but he loved Rex too, had always loved him, since they were young. He would never cheat on his wife, but that masculine black bear was a different story. The idea of having a life with him was ludicrous but boy did it sound nice. "Maybe he'll come around tomorrow."

"Yeah, maybe. Goodnight hun." Nalia said, leaning over to kiss Reggie forehead; between the eyes. Reggie didn't believe it. He could just see Rex's house going up for sale a week after they returned home; his secret crush, leaving forever because he had overstepped his boundaries. It was more possible sounding that a life with him, anyways. He kissed his wife back on the nose and managed a fake smile before rolling onto his back where he crossed his paws and listened to the sound of silence and the beating of his heart in his muzzle where he was punched with much deserved justice.

He could hear trees moving ever slightly overhead as a breeze drifted through the site. The sound of his wife's gentle breathing slowed until he knew she was asleep. The whispers of children refusing to go to sleep wafted from where his son was probably annoyed. They were all simple distractions that were dwarfed by the sheer size of Reggie's problem. It was his fault, but he didn't even know where to begin to fix it, or if it even was fixable. He laid there, his ears straining to pick up on the sound of Rex rising from his chair to head to bed. He waited patiently; too nervous to sleep himself and only moving to scratch an itch or rub a sore muscle. He ached, and it helped him remain awake and aware of any sounds outside the tent. Not that there were many.

He wasn't sure how long had it been. He knew that time moved strangely before sleep. It could have only been a few minutes since he had said goodnight to Nalia, or he could have been listening to simple sounds for hours; zoning out on the noises of nature. He found himself blinking a few times after a while. His eyes had been glued to the canopy of the tent, tracing the stitching back and forth and he had lost the moisture from his obsessive waiting. He hadn't heard anything similar to what a black bear would make upon rising form a comfortable reclining chair. It was possible that he had missed it in all his thought about his buddy, but for all he knew, the only noises about the camp site had been nothing but wind.

He decided that he wouldn't be able to make himself go to sleep knowing that Rex was still awake and in his chair. It was getting colder and even a bear needed to keep warm at such times of the night. Reggie lifted his head from his traveling pillow trying to listen to any final noises that could assure him for the night. When nothing came he gently let out a sigh as he sat up; his sore muscles objecting to the motion. Without waking his wife, he slowly shifted to his knees and scooted towards the zipper door flap. As quiet as the night he took hold of the little black zipper and inched it down the teeth.

The semi full moon spilled ample light through the canopy of trees overhead, flooding the campsite with enough light to make out the fallen pinecones that littered the tree line thirty feet away. A faint but warm glow still emanated from the circle of rocks but not enough to cast any amount of light upon the empty semi-circle of chairs around the pit. Rex's chair sat vacant and dark; covered in the shadow of a nearby evergreen. Reggie almost took that as what it seemed. He actually felt a smile coming over him before he noticed the small thing twisting in the night breeze before his very nose. He knew what it was before he reached out to still the thin black cord.

Rex's compass was strung onto the thick string and hung up on the tent's support rod that stuck out an inch or so in the front. Reggie slipped it off and studied the small thing in his white and grey paw. He wasn't sure what to think. It could mean anything or nothing. 'No, it definitely means something. He wouldn't have left it here if it meant nothing to him.' He glanced over to the tent he had bought for the black bear a week ago. He knew that at least one bear filled it, but it looked the same as it had when he had last looked upon it. The zipper door was still an inch away from being entirely closed. He must have subconsciously noticed it before retiring himself. Another scan of the trees resulted in more bothersome questions. 'Could he have walked off into the woods? Did he want to get as far away from me as possible, even if that meant leaving his own wife and sons behind?' The thoughts made his stomach churn uncomfortably.

Again, as quietly as possible, Reggie gathered up is pants and ducked out of the tent. He shivered in the slight wind as he stepped into his jeans, hopping on one foot-paw as he did. Adjusting his eyes he studied the ground around the campsite and after a bit be found the familiar mark of bear prints in the dusty ground. Tracks led into and away from the camp, and both started and ended at the same folding chair that Rex had used. Spinning around the wolf stared out to where the prints headed. Luckily the moon was still high in the sky and he knew between its glow and his night vision that he'd be able to see enough to navigate. He glanced down at his open paw, taking note of the direction he was facing; east, the same way they had gone to get wood. The fire was nearly dead anyways, if anything he could pick up a few of the discarded branches from before; they would need it for breakfast anyways.

With the compass tucked safely in his shirt pocket, Reggie took off at a simple pace down the wooded slope, trying his best to step over twigs and dried leaves. His paws sunk into the cool damp earth and despite his goal to simply find some fire fuel, it was almost surreal. He was out in the middle of nowhere, apathetically collecting wood when his best friend was probably trying to get to sleep with horrible thoughts flooding his head. He felt guilty, but didn't know what else to do about it. He could apologize tomorrow before breakfast, if the bear will allow him, but the likelihood of that happening was slim at best.

The ridge leveled out and walking normally became easy once again. He slowed his pace, taking in slow, deep breaths as he listened to nature and its many sounds. Ever since he was a little cub himself he always seemed in tune with the living world around him, the subtleties around every tree and the small miracles at work underneath his very foot-paws, and the pure beauty of the world as a whole. A lot of the guys in town would call him a tree hugging liberal if he ever shared about his views of the world. Thankfully Rex never did. There was more than just a big brutish looking bear behind his honey colored muzzle; only know, Reggie wasn't so sure. He could feel his tail sagging sadly between his legs and tried not to think about him. His beautifully mysterious eyes, his broad shoulders, cute butt, constant semi... It was impossible.

He was getting his own hard on now. 'Damn it all.' It was a nice night, not 'too' cold, and there was plenty of moonlight. Sure, the shadows scattered across the forest floor were a little intimidating, but he had taught himself many years ago that shadows were nothing more than shadows. He scanned the surrounding landscape, licking his lips and pressing a paw against his groin as he did. When he spotted a particularly sturdy looking oak, he pawed over; running his paw over the smooth bark attentively before pressing his back against the slightly slanted trunk. It made him think back to his boyhood again. His father would settle down in one of his folding arm chairs (similar to Rex's) sipping a beer and reading a NRA magazine while he would sneak off to the edge of the tree line, just out of sight and paw himself to orgasm.

'I guess fire wood's gonna hav'ta wait till morning'.' He thought restlessly to himself. He loosened his leather belt a notch or two and dug his paw down into his underwear where it landed on warm pulsing fur. Closing his eyes he could just barely make himself see Rex's face; the familiar blank expression, redneck attire, cute twitchy nose. He breathed in the night air and pretended it smelled like Rex; of beer and smoke, Old Spice and masculine ursine. Without dropping his trousers to the leaf strewn ground his paw clutched around his furry, exposed, wolf sheath, pulling the flesh back until his fist smashed into his white fuzzy ball sac. He pretended he could hear his voice; his deep simple southern inflection, his apathetic tone, uncaring words...

Almost his whole life he had lived under the bear's blunt, dry, sarcasm. Never gaining any understanding or support from the bear, or any other kind of things a friend provided. Reggie realized that he almost suffered under the dictator-like friendship, harming himself in ways one would normally ignore. But he loved the bear, almost more than his own wife, and never received the slightest amount of affection in return. 'Rex... I want you to know...how...I feel...even if you don't feel...the same...'

In his mind he made things work. It was an old trick he learned as a boy. They guys in town called it a 'spank bank'. A place in your mind where you store memories and thoughts of people you know and see to be used latter when you're alone and able to abuse your male-hood with your own paw. Reggie let his pants fall to his ankles, shivering at the sudden cold and pulled his briefs below his sac. In the dim moonlight he could see the silvery substance known as pre begin to dew at the tip of his fleshy, pink, cock. He pictured what Rex's looked like as he took hold of his own and, with the slick pre, began to slowly work his fist up and down the shaft like a piston.

The more he pre-ed the faster the piston was able to move and the lewder the thoughts became in Reggie's mind. He closed his eyes and pawed away. Thinking of the times when they had hung out during school or after a school football game. He remembered all the times the bear was so distant from him despite the fact that they were always together. It was bittersweet, luke-warm, but all he had. And he treasured it.

"Rex." He grunted, feeling the flood of cum boiling in his loins, pushing him further to that climactic point every male knows well. He remembered one hot summer when Rex's swamp cooler went out, his whole family were in their under clothes, Rex including. Reggie had invited them over to barbeque and to let the kids run through their sprinklers. Rex just sat in the shade of the porch, chugging his beers and grabbing at his sweaty balls through his white cotton boxer briefs. It was torture then, and fuel for his desires now. Because it was all he had. He wished he could embrace the bear, feel his fur, smell his scent, feel his powerful erection with his own paws, or mouth. "P-put it in my mouth Rex."

The noises of nature became drowned out by the sound of pre slick paws stroking cock. Reggie's ears flicked back and forth, his tail ducking between his legs to rub his nuts. It was as homoerotic as he ever got, as he ever could get. He didn't want any other male, even another black bear, he wanted Rex, and it was unfathomably impossible. He would forever be tormented by the sudden trepidation between them. He turned what he had, not that it was much, but it was something, and created all he had which was his fantasies, and the kiss. It signified the one and probably only time he would ever be able to have that much physical contact with the big guy. If filled him with such joy and sorrow. Despite the blow he had received, the loose tooth, and minimal blood loss, he was able to touch the lips of the one he truly loved. In a way that was enough for him. It was enough because it had to be enough. And it was...

The small dribble of cum that dripped down over his fist was only a precursor to the explosion that erupted from the now blood red tip. Reggie opened his left eye just enough to watch the stream of white disappear into the night. He heard the faint sound of something hitting fallen leaves before he himself let out a refrained howl of release. He wasn't sure when he had last pawed, but it was definitely a few weeks worth, and by the way it continued to drip off his cock said it was very much needed.

For the second time that evening the sky seemed to spin as his heartbeat raced. In his imagination, his fantasy, he pictured Rex kissing him; simply lips to lips, a pleasant display of affection. Such a thing was taboo, but in his head he could make it real enough to fill him with enough false happiness needed to last him a while longer. Rex smiled, but it was fake. He rubbed Reggie's softening wolf cock, squeezing the knot with his big strong paws, but that too was fake. And that was just something he had to except because unless the big black bear came bursting through the trees at the moment, naked and dripping hard, nothing would ever change between them.

He sighed, but it was more from the release than from disappointment. He almost had held his breath, just in case that did happen, but only the moon and the wind were out to witness his midnight exhibition. He raised his paw and studied the slivery slime in the moonlit night. Most had seeded the forest but what was left was protein and a late night snack. He sucked his paw, savoring the salty taste of wolf nectar while enjoying the subtle sensation of his cock retracting back inside his body. Not many straight males lick their own cum off their paws, but he was attracted to a male, if only one. So all those many years ago he decided it was the only way he'd ever taste it and it simply became a habit.

When the wind's chilly bite became more than mildly uncomfortable, Reggie groped around his ankles before pulling his pants back up to his waist. With a spinning head and a relieved load, Reggie figured it was time he at least tried to get to sleep. Rex was nowhere to be found and was probably sleeping; having snuck his way to bed like a mouse; a very large, black, furry mouse. With another sigh, this time filled with lament, he dug the compass out of his shirt pocket, studied it in the moonlight, waited for it to stop spinning like a top, gained his bearings and headed back to camp, collecting small branches as he went.

End?

*There should be a sequel to this story....but you have to be patient. And if you have any questions as to what happened in this story PLEASE feel free to ask, even if it's to point on an error. Comments are Very Welcome :P

:3