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Relapse

By XP Author

I checked my watch. 11:45. Yeah, time to head inside. I pulled open the green, metal door and stepped into the hallway. Normally it would be dark at this hour, and most of the building was, but the lights were on in the hallway, leading to the main room of the community center.

I wasn't the first to arrive, a few familiar faces already having taken a seat in the circle of chairs at the center of the room. Of course, David, the otter who ran this little group, was there, waving to everyone as they came. There was a new face I didn't recognize, the guest of one of the regulars. A fox, he looked extremely nervous. I was like that my first time. I gave him a friendly smile and a nod. I'd learn his name later. Hopefully he'd stick around. It was always good to see new people trying to get help.

Over the next fifteen minutes, the rest of the crowd would filter in. I recognized most of them. There was another new comer though, a dog of some kind. I've always been bad at determining breeds. He looked less nervous than the fox, and more scared, like he was being pranked. I smiled as more than a few of the fellow members patted the newbies on the back and welcomed them as they walked by. It was a motley group; foxes, canines, a couple of reptiles. I'm actually unique in being the only rodent, a rat, but then David was the only otter, and there was also only one bear.

At 12:05, David stood up from his chair and started his opening spiel. "Alright, it's about time to start. Welcome everyone. I'm David, I run our little group here." Everyone did the customary 'hi David' that these sorts of groups were known for. "I see a lot of returning faces, always good to see. I also see a pair of new faces. First off, welcome to you. You don't need to feel scared or nervous. We're not here to judge, scorn, criticize, or chastise you." David swept a hand in front of him, motioning to the nearly two dozen people around the circle. "We're all been in a place similar to you. Some of us still are. You do not need to share with us today. Get comfortable, and when you're ready, we will listen."

The crowd all nodded, myself included. We had all been there, scared and nervous on that first visit. Scared and nervous when we first shared our story, our failures, with the crowd. Hell, it was almost four months before I'd finally felt comfortable sharing my own story. Now, almost five years later, I still felt nervous to say it out loud, but I knew this group would never look at me with shame or hate. Only understanding.

David continued "In fact, I believe we have someone that does want to share a story with us today." I nodded and raised my hand. I'd told David beforehand that I needed to share. That I'd had a relapse, after nearly three years. "Then before that, how about we do introductions."

The crowd did their thing, saying hello, their name, saying aloud they were an addict. Everyone went before me, as I was the one doing the longer story today, but a few admitted to having a relapse of their own. Finally, it got to me.

I stood up, taking a breath and running a hand through my long, brown hair. "Hello, my name is Aric. And... I had a relapse. A bad one." I took a deep breath and started to tell my tale. Though the tale I told was far less detailed than the memories playing in my head.

* * *

About six months ago, I started working with a new client. I'm basically your generic Mr. Fixit, the guy you call for small repairs, when you don't need to call the super expensive specialists. Leaking pipes, gutter cleaning, furniture assembly, or just moving your couch. That kind of thing. I'd recently signed a new contract with a home owner association.

I don't normally sign on with HOAs, since most of them are scams for both the residents and the companies they get to sign, but this one impressed me. I got to see a draft contract that the residence would sign, which was all very clear where money went. They even worked to make sure I got a decent rate for my work. It was actually a lot better than most contracts I'd ever signed.

So I'd been doing my thing, fixing leaky faucets... and getting hit on by lonely housewives. Comes with the job. Not that I'm going to complain. I'm 35 now, and it's been almost ten years since my wife died, so the attention is nice, but I'm not going to be some bored housewife's boy toy fling. That said...

Her name was Amber. A rabbit. I was taken with her the moment I saw her. She was a paralegal, and had this stern, no-nonsense air about her the first time I met her. But you could just tell that there was more under the surface. She'd moved into one of the houses before it was done being fully fixed up for a new resident. She got a discount on the price because of that. Shrewd girl. But that meant I'd be over practically every day fixing something up.

The first time I met her, I was just coming up from the basement, having finished hooking up new water heater and was covered in dirt and sweat. She gave me a polite nod and greeting, but I swear I caught her gaze sizing me up. Now, I'm not particularly impressive as models go. 5'11" and toned from my job, but nothing anyone would make a statue out of. Hell, I'd gotten a little pudge in the belly in recent years. Averagely handsome, I think is what someone told me once.

Amber was much the same, in a sense. She stood around 5'6" or so, in including the ears. She was the kind of girl who hit the gym once a week, so she kept her figure. She was only 28, so age hadn't really started pulling on her in the wrong ways yet. And she had such a pretty face, that slender neck and long legs... I'm a sucker for that. But more than that, she was smart and kind. And most importantly, single.

I'd finally managed to get more of a conversation with her when I had started working on her kitchen sink. She didn't have much choice if she wanted to get to her coffee maker, after all. But instead of grabbing a cup and leaving, she actually started talking with me. I learned she had moved so quickly into the place because she got some new, high-profile job basically overnight. One of those dream jobs that you're willing to drop everything for. So she did just that.

She hadn't had the chance to see much of the city since moving, so I offered to give her a tour, as a local expert of sorts. The repair job has had me go from one end of the city to the other and back again. She was reluctant at first, but I eventually got her to give in with the promise of a tour of all the best coffee shops in town.

We got pretty close, actually. Well... REALLY close... Even after I'd finished fixing up the place, I was still there most evenings. Eventually that turned into most nights, as well. She was something else in bed. The sweet or stern demeanor vanished, replaced by this ravenous lust. Now, I may not be the most well endowed man... nothing to scoff at, a modest 7 inches, but the way she rode me, and how tight she was, she made me feel like I was swinging a tree trunk some nights.

But... that's when it started to happen again. It was slow at first. I'd be laying there at night, next to her. There she was, laying still beside me, naked as the day she was born. Most guys would stare at those wonderful breasts, or her sexy belly, or those toned legs, but I just kept staring at her slender neck. It was so perfect. And if I tried, I could just ignore the rise and fall of her chest... most nights. But it was always there.

I thought I would be fine. That I could control myself. But I knew I was in trouble when we were making love and I just grabbed her throat and started to squeeze. At first, she was into it, bucking her hips back at me while I fucked her, but I started to go too far. I managed to stop in time when I felt her hand repeatedly slapping at my arm in panic. I convinced her that I was just wrapped up in the passion of the moment, and she seemed to believe me.

I tried to break it off there. I swear I did. I tried to push her away, but she just kept... staying at my side. She knew something was bothering me, that I wasn't acting like myself. She kept begging me to tell her what it was, but how do you tell the woman you've fallen so madly in love with that you want to kill her? That you think she'll be even more beautiful as a corpse!?

I probably should have just told her. That would be a sure fire way to drive her off. Instead, I tried to pretend. But I couldn't anymore. I tried to push her away one last time. I swear to God I tried! I'd spent all night staring at that lovely form, wanting her to just stop breathing. I was ragged that morning. I started to argue with her, about how I shouldn't see her anymore. How I couldn't. I tried to tell her it was dangerous. That I wasn't who she thought I was.

She was crying. I was crying. She tried to tell me it was alright. She'd be there. She'd help me get past whatever this was. I... I hit her... just back handed her right across the face. It was the only thing I could think of that might get her to stop being so close right then. I couldn't control myself. I was shaking so much, I wanted to do it so much. Somehow being struck didn't convince her. Somehow... why didn't she just throw me out right then and there?

She wanted to help me so much. That little bunny just threw her arms around me, pressed her bare body up against mine, tears running down her face. She begged me to just tell her what was wrong. She was there, her warmth against mine. I swear I could hear her heartbeat, hear the blood pumping through her veins and arteries. Or maybe it was just mind. That cute face looking up at me, pleading, tears in her eyes, begging me to tell her. To show her. To hurt her. To kill her.

Those blue eyes got so wide when I plunged the kitchen knife into her throat. She gripped at my fur, her legs giving out as blood poured from her slender neck. Crimson stained her lovely off-white fur, drooling down her chest, splashing onto the floor. She looked panicked, afraid, scared... I ignored the other things she looked at me with. I just held her tightly, letting her blood soak into my fur.

I told her how sorry I was that it had to hurt, but it would be over soon. I would try to make it faster for her. I took the knife and started to cut more and more of her throat open, letting her bleed out faster. I wanted to keep her beautiful, so I didn't stab her anywhere else. I know piercing her heart would have been faster. It didn't take long for me to hit bone. She was still in so much pain. I ended her pain when I twisted her head quickly, snapping that exposed bone in a quick and merciful instant.

Her body slumped against me, twitching and gyrating wildly, her limbs flopping and flailing about haphazardly. I held her body as it died. Her head and brought close and pressed my lips to hers. Her mouth tried to move against mine. I stuck my tongue into her mouth, played with her own. Minutes later, when I pulled back, her face was slack, eyes glassed. She'd died knowing, tasting, just how much I truly loved her.

I gently set her head down on the counter, letting her peaceful gaze look out at me and her beautiful body, now still in my arms. I laid her body back against the kitchen table, legs dangling off the edge. Her neck stump still oozed blood, but the vast majority of it had been pumped out onto the floor or soaked into both her and my fur. Her typically off-white chest was stained crimson, all the way down to her belly. My own chest was much the same.

I stared down at her perfect little corpse. I reached out and grabbed at her perky tits, still so soft as I squeezed them. My hands ran down her sides, eventually to her legs. I parted those legs to look at her slit. She was always so perfect, but now it was even more beautiful than ever. I couldn't hold myself back any longer. I'd gotten rock hard while letting her life fade away, and now I had to have her.

I looked over at her head, her gaze still staring at me, and I smiled. I plunged my cock into her cooling cunt. She was always so tight, even now, but it was much easier to pump into her now that she wasn't clenching constantly. And I didn't have to hold back any more. I couldn't hurt her anymore. She'd never be hurt again.

I grabbed her hips and just started to thrust as hard as I could. As deep as I could. I'd never quite been able to really bottom out in her before. Not like this. Not without hurting her. Now I pounded into her so deep, I felt the tip of my cock touching her cervix. Her tits jiggled every time I slammed deep into her. Her arms just flopped about the table. Every time I hit deep into her, the table would rock. I'd never quite gotten to evening out all the legs so it bumped about constantly. I found myself getting close already. I didn't have to hold back anymore now. I thrust myself as deep as I could and started pumping my seed deep into her. I imagined much of it flowing into her womb, aiming for eggs that could never been fertilized.

I wasn't done. I wanted more of her. I pulled out of her pussy, watching my seed leak out of her slit and drip onto the floor. My cock was still so hard. So I grabbed her body and spun her around so her legs were on the table and that severed neck was facing me. I lined up with the bloody hole of her throat and shoved my cock in.

It was so incredibly tight. It was a feeling I'd not felt in so, so long. I reached out to grip her tits, using those as leverage to start thrusting into her neck, filling her throat in a way I'd never be able to do with her alive. I would give her a satisfaction she could only enjoy dead. I looked over at her face again, at those unfocused eyes staring in my general direction. I couldn't hold back long, not under that gaze, even though I'd already cum once.

I thrust hard and fast, and soon was cumming again, pouring my seed directly down her throat. I hadn't cum so much in years. I still had more to give her. I pulled out of her neck slowly, groaning as my cock was still throbbing hard. Cum oozed out from the stump now, mixed with her blood in a frothy pink mess that dripped onto the floor.

I moved over to her head and reached out, stroking her soft, slack cheek. I told her how much I loved her. I knew she'd say she knew, she loved me, too. She loved watching me fuck her body like that, I knew it. But I had one last treat for her. I gently picked her head up and her mouth opened for me, slack-jawed. She was such a slut sometimes, she knew what I wanted. I slid my cock into her mouth, gliding against her tongue and moaning loud. I pushed deep, until my tip poked through the other end.

She cleaned my cock of my cum and her blood, but this wasn't my gift. Not yet. I pulled her off of my shaft and turned her head around. The tip of my cock found the base of her throat again, only this time pushing up and into her mouth from behind. She would have loved this. I fucked up into her mouth like this, deep enough that my tip poked free of her mouth. She'd have been able to see my cock every time I thrust. She'd have loved that.

I moved over to her body and started to fuck her throat like this, pumping up into her mouth. I reached out one hand to caress and grope at her body, playing with her tits or fingering her pussy. I moved her so her legs dangled off the edge of the table again, and got in close. I pushed the tip of my cock into her pussy, and let her kiss her own lips, taste my cum on her cunt. I pumped like this for several minutes before I couldn't hold back any longer. I once again filled her pussy with my seed, but also her mouth as it flowed back out of her dead tunnel.

It was several minutes before I was able to think straight again. I was still holding onto her head, caressing it, wiping away the cum that leaked from her lips. I was finally spent, but I had to clean everything up. The benefit of being a general handyman is you can get your hands on all kind of cleaning supplies. Ammonia to break down any evidence, and some powerful industrial cleaners to wipe down the floors, the table, the counter. Though I just took the kitchen table with me. It was just wood, so it had her blood soaked into it, so it would have to be burnt.

Her body I had to wrap in black plastic, stowing it in the back of my work truck with the rest of the various tools I used for my job. I kissed her lips and apologized for having to treat her like this before wrapping her head up as well. It only took a few hours to fully clean everything, including myself. I even ran some of the powerful cleaner down the drain of the sinks and the shower, in case anything was stuck there.

I hated to do it, but I had to dispose of her. My lovely Amber. My little snuffed bunny. I turned off my phone and left it at home, then drove an hour outside of town to a spot up in the hills. You know the kind of place. Secluded and far enough away that no one would go there unless they were a hiker. I dug a deep pit and started a fire in it. The kitchen table made for fantastic kindling, actually. I had to burn her body. I also dumped some lye into the pit and buried it. It seemed so wrong to leave her in an unmarked grave, so after filling in that deep hole, I left a little pile of stones as a marker.

* * *

As I finished my story, leaving out the details about the grave marker, I could tell that I wasn't the only one sporting an erection. You could just tell the two newcomers were trying hard not to pop it out and jerk off right there. It had happened in the past, so I was impressed they were holding it in this long. Hell, I kind of wanted to right then, too.

I sat back down, and David stood up smiling at me. "Thank you for sharing, Aric. I'm sorry you had to go through it all again. But we've all had moments of weakness. Just stay strong in the future and you'll be on the road to recovery." The crowd nodded, murmuring similar sentiments. David looked at his watch. 1:17 am. "Well. I think we should be going for today. Thank you all for coming to this week's Necrophiliacs Anonymous, and I hope to see each of you next week."

I'm sure more than a few of the others rushed out to take care of the erection they'd been doing a poor job of hiding. I took my time, throwing my heavy leather jacket over my shirt. I then spent the next several minutes shaking hands as many of the group thanked me for sharing, and wished me luck resisting in the future. A few said they were sorry for my loss, as I obviously quite loved Amber. I nodded to them all, and eventually made my way out to my truck.

I made the familiar drive home in silence, leaving the radio off and just thinking and remembering. Once I was home, walked into my humble little place. It was a modest home, one story but with a basement. I walked into that basement and clicked the light on and smiled.

I don't like lying to the group, but I didn't want to tell them I hadn't exactly disposed entirely of my lovely bunny. Her head sat on my work bench, cleaned now completely, and finally ready. I sat down and picked up a plate of wood that was also finally ready. The lacquer had dried and sealed the wood, and was now ready.

I took my time with mounting Amber's head onto the trophy plate, being gentle, but also making sure it was straight and centered properly. When everything was done, I nodded at my work. I spoke to her as I carried her to the other side of the room. "I'm sorry I couldn't let you go, my lovely bunny. But don't worry." I hung her up on the wall, beside two other heads. "You won't be alone." The other two heads were those of a gorgeous fox and a pretty young rat.

The fox was Heather, the first girl I'd gotten close to since losing my wife. The rat was, of course, my wife, Beth. The first woman I'd ever murdered. But those were memories for another time.

* * *