Dances With Meat...
In a time long ago, a religious bovine zealot called John the Brisket was holding court, telling his listeners to straighten up and fly right because the Big Cheese was sending his Number One Son. "Straighten the path," John would preach to his audience. "Prepare a highway!"
"'Scuse me, Sir," asked a listener meekly, raising his paw. "But why do we need a highway when we don't have cars?"
"Silence!," chided John, swishing his tail in agitation. "I'll keel you!"
"Keel me, Sir?," continued the listener. "I don't even see a boat here at the moment."
At this point, John the Brisket threw himself at the listener, and scratched him up really good with the goatskin garments that he wore. Soon thereafter, John was thrown into the slammer for going rogue by King Herriots, who ran a nice hotel. Languishing in the dungeon, John was pretty much left alone, eating locusts and honey as he did, which kinda grossed people out. At least he was low maintenance...
Meanwhile, King Herriots was expanding his mind by watching the girl Salami perform her Dance of the Seven Veals, which was always a real crowd-pleaser for a number of reasons. You might say that the dance aroused a variety of appetites, with the largely furry audience both hungry and horny.
"I'm filled with conflicting emotions!," muttered one wolf. "I don't know if I want to eat the veal, or do the girl!"
"Kissing don't last, cooking do," responded a fox present. "Go for the veal first, then the girl!," he counseled.
"Sounds like a plan to me!," agreed the wolf.
Meanwhile, Salami continued to slap the veal deftly around her nubile body while the audience drooled and emitted mixed howls of lust and hunger, not necessarily in that order. She finished her dance at last and scurried off to where the King applauded while the audience hooted and howled their disappointment at both the veal and the bimbo's departure.
"Well done, my child!," enthused King Herriots. "Your dance has pleased me so much that I will grant you any wish that you desire!"
"I want the head of John the Brisket on a platter!," asked Salami, not missing a beat.
"Are you sure?," asked the King. "Do you want fries with that?"
"Nah, I'll take the onion rings," opted Salami.
"Have it your way!," shrugged the King with a dismissive gesture of his hand.
Well, in just no time at all the King's flunkies returned with the head of John the Brisket on a platter, prompting comments of "Eww!" and "Gross!" from the KIng's audience.
"Well, there goes my appetite!," complained the once-hungry wolf.
"What's the matter?," teased Salami as she held her morbid trophy aloft. "Never knew a guy to refuse head before!"
And the assembled crowd pelted the dancer with fish, feeling that she well-deserved it...