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[SOMETHING... SPICY]

He gives me a look that makes my ears burn and my pants feel a couple sizes too small as he pours something crystal clear. Gold and bright red speckles swirl in it before settling to the bottom.

Leo: And where's this one taking me?

Chase: Only one way to find out.

He winks at me.

Chase: You gonna ask questions, or are you gonna relax and enjoy the ride?

He makes a good point.

It tastes like what would happen if energy drinks made a cinnamon and chiles flavor, and it burns going down. My eyes water. By the time I've blinked them clear, the mirror's not a mirror anymore. It's a computer screen.

My computer screen. I'd recognize the dead pixels and the greasy-looking rainbow distortion down in the bottom right corner anywhere. Not to mention, that's a very specific collection of videos in the folder it's displaying.

Oh, and now it's... opening one of them.

I really hope nobody but me can see this!

The first thing I notice is the lights. They're hot, and so bright that I can't see anything in that direction. Am I on a stage?

The second thing I notice is the smell. Old paint, heated metal, crumbling upholstery. It's unmistakable: the back of an old van that's spent a lot of time in the desert sun. I've worked on... I have no idea how many of these, over the years.

The third thing I notice is that I'm naked.

Chase: I hope you got plenty of cock, I'm real thirsty.

Wait, what?

I'm lying on my back on some kind of mattress, propped up against a heap of pillows. He's leaning against the van interior in the kind of slutty pose that guys do in porn and not at all in real life.

Leo: Oh I got cock alright, and you're gonna drink every inch.

Wait... Alright, yeah, I recognize that line.

Chase: Oh yeah, I'm your thirsty slut!

If this isn't the porno I've watched the most often, it's close. Cause it's the one where after the otter sucks the wolf off, they make out, then they fall asleep in eachother's arms.

Writing's terrible, though. And it was a porno, it didn't happen to us. And it doesn't happen in a van! How much leeway with my memories do these drinks get to have, anyway?

Oh.

You know what? His head's between my legs, and that's his tongue going down the side of my shaft, so I don't care. They can have as much leeway as they want.

I lie back and enjoy the ride, like he told me to. I grunt and thrust and pant and occasionally say something ridiculous and dirty when the script calls for it. Even if the memory or dream or hallucination--whatever this is--wasn't already making me say all the things I say, I've watched this one so much that I wouldn't need the help, I probably have it memorized.

So I know I'm supposed to pull out and finish all over his face. Then climbs up into my arms, we make out, it gets everywhere.

It's hot, but... do I have some leeway too?

I'm almost there. This is the part in the porno where I'd pull out, stroke myself till I finish while he stares into my eyes. But I don't. I hold his ears and stroke his cheeks and when he looks me in the eyes there's no doubt. There's a flicker of surprise, but it's not the kind of surprise that wasn't expecting this, it's the kind that wasn't expecting this NOW.

And then I'm throwing my head back and gasping because I'm cumming and...

I fall.

Only a handful of inches, but for a fraction of a second I'm in empty air, and the lights have gone out and I have no idea where I am.

Then my back hits the floor. I hear a sickening crunch and for a second I think I've broken my spine... but no, I just got the wind knocked out of me and landed on an empty plastic water bottle.

???: What the fuck?!

The floor I'm on is dirty. There's empty cups and ashes and peanut shells for some reason and... I think this is a condom wrapper. It's hard to see anything clearly, because the room is dark, and full of smoke, and lit only in red and strobe.

But most of the dust is something I don't know what it is. It's filmy and papery and falls apart when I touch it. And I don't have time to figure it out, because there's someone else here. There's footsteps coming toward me, so I struggle to my feet and hope I can explain why I'm naked.

???: Leo what the fucking shit are you doing here?!

The voice makes it all click into place. I know where this is. I've been here before.

With him.

Leo: Flynn...

This is that fucked-up back room at that seedy bar, where he used to come to 'cut loose' which I guess means 'get fucked by groups of random strangers.'

Flynn: Seriously Leo, you are tits-deep in shit if you're here, you need to leave!

Leo: You're HERE.

Flynn: You SHOULDN'T be!

Leo: ...you died, though. You're dead.

Flynn: No shit, dipshit, you don't get to be the fuckin' Ghost of Orgy Rooms Past if you're not dead!

Flynn: But that doesn't fuckin matter... how'd you get here, wolfboy? I know YOU'RE not taking a dirtnap.

Leo: I... wait, how would you know that?

He gives me a look I can't read, but then I never could read him, I guess.

Flynn: Never mind.

Leo: If you mean how I got to this building, I dunno. I don't remember leaving my house. I think this might be a dream.

Flynn: Of course your dumbshit ass would think it's a dream.

I'll ignore that for now.

Leo: If you mean, how'd I get in this room, then I have even less idea. I was just trying to steer a little, and I guess that broke the memory.

Flynn: The fuck are you talking about?

Leo: The last memory I drank. The one Chase served me.

Leo: I must have fallen in here when I broke-

Flynn: CHASE?

Wait, what? Why is he suddenly so angry?

Flynn: Chase is here?! What the fuck is happening out there if Chase is here? Did they fucking nuke the place? Without me SEEING it somehow?

Flynn: I KNOW the fucking hysteria didn't come back!

I have no idea what he's talking about but he's really upset.

Flynn: I'm supposed to be able to see the fucking truth dammit! That was the shitty, unfair, bend over and bite the pillow deal and I'm fucking holding to what little I got out of it!

He's not even talking to me, he's shouting at the ceiling.

Leo: Flynn!

His eyes snap to me like he just noticed I was there. I can't tell if he's about to attack me or break into tears.

Leo: I'm not dead, Flynn. I dunno why I'm here, hell, I don't really know where here is, but that isn't why, yeah?

He snorts, skeptical. And I suddenly realize what all the flimsy, crumbling debris on the floor among the ashes and peanut shells is. It's shed skin, like he sometimes used to leave on the seat of chairs a few days every year.

Mother of God, how long has he been in this room, for this much to collect?

Flynn: And Chase?!

Leo: What about him?

Flynn: What's muskshit doing here, nutsack for brains!?

Leo: I have no idea! He was just here, tending the bar!

He looks shocked for a split second.

Flynn: Working... the bar? Oh...?

And then he just looks bitterly resigned.

Flynn: God-fucking-dammit.

Leo: He's just been giving me drinks, and they-

Flynn: I know what the fucking drinks do, wolfboy. How many have you had?

Leo: I dunno. Not many. I'm not drunk, I've just been... being with him. I missed him.

Flynn: Uh huh, aren't you two the fanciest testicles in Cincinnati, but the party's over. I'm getting your lovesick ass out of-

There's a sudden burst of light. It's momentarily too bright to see. I stumble back, and wince. My foot, and my leg, suddenly both hurt like hell. I didn't twist them when I landed, did I?

Chase: THERE you are!

My eyes adjust, and I can see that he's pushed open a curtain that I didn't see before. This must be through that door in the back of the bar, the one I thought looked like the doorway to hell. Flynn's sure acting like that's what this room is.

Chase: How'd you manage to get lost like that Leo? And wind up back here?

Chase: Is he ok?

Flynn: Oh HE'S fine. HE'S not the one playing some fucked-up-

Chase: You can bitch at me later. I didn't come in here for him, I came in here to get you.

Flynn: What for?

Chase: Well, I was gonna ask you to look for him while you were out...

Flynn: ...no...

Chase: Because you need to go out.

Flynn: ...no!

Chase: Flynn.

Flynn: ...not again.

Chase: I can't do anything about what happened to you. All we can do is get some use out of it.

Leo: What do you mean, what happened to him? Flynn got lost in the mines, during the week of bad shit. Like, that's nowhere near as bad as some of the-

Flynn: Shut it, wolfshit. Grownups are talking.

Ok, fuck you too, I guess?

Flynn: Half the time I go out it ends up being for nothing!

Flynn: I couldn't do shit at the lake!

Flynn: They didn't need me at the dam!

Chase: They would have if you hadn't gone. You know that. Better than anyone. Isn't that what you meant by 'Everything absolute here is conditional there?'

Flynn: No it's-

He looks at me, hard, like he's trying to get me to pick up a clue in charades or something.

Flynn: Anything that ever could have happened, out there, once we get in here, it did happen.

He glances at Chase after he says it, resentful, like he's saying something he's not supposed to.

Chase doesn't react. Which is sensible. I don't think anyone's ever managed to stop Flynn saying things he's not supposed to say.

My head is pounding harder. My mouth feels like it's full of sweaty cotton. And my leg is killing me.

Chase: Flynn... it's the trailer.

Whatever 'the trailer' is gets a look of genuine concern out of him.

Flynn: You better not just be trying to get him alone with you.

That sounds more like the ribbing I remember from him. But Chase's eyes go hard.

Chase: You think that's what this is?

No need to be so serious, otter, it's just ribbing, yeah?

Flynn: I know what happens to people you get alone. Look what being alone with you got me.

...he was just teasing about us making out! Why are they talking like this is the end of the world?

Flynn: Or Syd.

Flynn: Or Chase.

I'm so lost.

Chase shakes his head.

Chase: It's not like it'd be the first time I was alone with him. He's already here, isn't he? How long has he been on the road here?

Flynn: And what if I find a way to get him OFF that road? To keep him from ever starting down it?

Fuck, what is WRONG with my leg? It feels like I got fucked up by wasps?!

Chase: Nobody'll be happier than me if you do it. But I'm not holding out hope.

Leo: Ow!

They both look at me.

Leo: Sorry, it's my leg, feels like something bit me all the way down the side...

Flynn looks surprised. Chase looks worried.

Chase: Flynn, now-

Flynn: I know! I'm going!

Chase: Good.

Flynn bends down and they... kiss?

It's not... well, it's not really hot and heavy, but it's not exactly chaste either. I mostly feel embarrassed, like I walked in on someone taking a leak.

Ok, maybe a little turned on. Either is better than jealous, which I'm trying not to be.

It doesn't last long. Flynn's wincing as Chase breaks the kiss, like he's in pain. The otter still has a hand on the lizard's chest.

Flynn's chest is glowing, under his fingers, like a lit barbecue. His eyes and mouth are clenched shut. He's trembling.

Leo: ...is he ok?!

I don't think he is.

Leo: Flynn!

I think he's in a lot of pain.

Flynn: ...ahh!

It's not a scream. It's like a gasp. His eyes and mouth snap open, and they're glowing like a halloween pumpkin, and there's a split second where I swear I can see flames erupt from his mouth like he's a dragon and then-

Flames engulf him. The last I see him, he's collapsing to his knees. Then it's just a blazing fire, in the middle of the room.

Leo: ...holy shit

I scoot backward. Chase only takes a couple steps back. He doesn't seem the least surprised. He seems... sad? Resigned? Like this is something he wishes didn't have to happen, but if it has to be done then might as well get it over with.

The fire doesn't spread. It sputters down quick. Leaves only a small pile of fine grey powder.

It looks like shed skin.

Chase: Sorry you had to see that. I wasn't expecting you to wind up in here. And I didn't expect he'd have to go out tonight.

Leo: Otter, what the fuck is this?

Chase: A dream, Leo.

He bends down, kisses me on the cheek. It's reassuring, but there's a part of me that wants to shrink away, afraid I'm about to catch fire too.

Not in a sexy way, either.

Chase: Just a dream, remember?

Ch: Here, brought your clothes from the other room.

Shit, right, I'm still butt-naked!

I pull them on, embarrassed. The lights and music stopped when Flynn went up like a bonfire, and now the only light is through the doorway curtain pulled aside. I guess darkness gives me a little dignity.

My leg's stopped hurting, too.

The room's dark, empty, silent, and a little cold by the time I've pulled my shirt back on.

Chase: You ok?

Leo: I think... I dunno.

Leo: What happened to Flynn? Why was Flynn here at all? And then... why?

I have no idea what to ask to make sense of what I just saw.

It's hard to see him in the darkness, but from what I can see just looks blank again.

Chase: ...some roads are longer than others.

It's weird, but for a second, the silhouette against the light through the doorway doesn't look like an otter, it looks more like some kind of cat.

Leo: What does that mean?

Chase: He'd rather have the truth that hurts than a comforting story. And I wouldn't stop him, even if I could. I'll be there for him when he finally gets to the end of the road he's on.

I'm more than happy to be out of this room. I follow Chase through the curtain, back to the bar. For a split second it looks like he's wearing a white shirt and tan suspenders, but that's just my eyes getting used to the light again.

Chase: Not much else to do in the meantime but have a drink.

[MY HEAD...]