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Chapter 12 - London Bridge's Falling Down

"It was real!" I screamed into Gideon's chest, gripping him and turning him so I could see back the way I had come. "It was real, it was real!" I repeated, trembling.

Gideon's eyes were wide with surprise and worry, and I felt one of his arms curl around me tightly and hold me close, tugging me to the alley behind the shop. He looked at me with concern and held my face with both my hands.

"Simon!" he said louder than he should have on the street. "Calm down. Breathe!"

I was breathing really hard. I wanted to die just then, the idea that the stories were real, that this was not some game to win a bet...that I had seen a man murdered by a monster...!

"Here," Gideon said, pulling out a small flask from his pants pocket. He unscrewed the top and put the end to my muzzle and tipped.

Alcohol was not something I got to enjoy often. It was expensive and I was still a little on the young side for such vices. Still, the liquid burned down my throat and made me shudder, coughing as it made my stomach warm and my head fuzzy. My hat fell off my head but Gideon caught it and put it on his own skull, small as it was.

Finally I felt my heart slow down enough to look up at him, and he sat down against the wall, holding me still. I was facing him, worried, and then crawled over to sit next to him. We couldn't cuddle. He couldn't kiss me; it was too risky. But I wished he could. He did have his arm around me but more in the chum kind of way rather than the fox who shared his bed sometimes.

"Now..." Gideon said with a sigh, tilting his head a little. "What's real?"

I took a deep breath and swallowed, staring up at the other man's face. "Spring Heeled Jack," I managed to say in a quiet whisper. "I saw him..."

I felt Gideon tense against me, his muscles clenched up and then on his feet. He held me and got me up as well, looking at me right in the eyes, holding me by my shoulders. I would learn later that he was making sure I wasn't using his story against him, in an act of betrayal. But he saw the truth in me and swallowed himself.

"I'd say you only saw a figure or a spook or somethin'," he said as he edged to the edge of the alley and peered around it down the street. The fog was so thick he probably couldn't see much anyway. "But I know what I saw myself. I know he's real, just wish he wasn't. So... what did you see?"

Gideon sat back down and pulled me down once more, already a little fuzzy from the drink I spoke of my tale.

"When I went back to get my kitbag and my lantern I had left in the alley after Billy got kidnapped, I heard some shouting from the small... uh... you know, the quad in some areas in that part of town. The man sounded like he was in trouble."

Gideon glared down at me with that expression that said it all. I had done something stupid in his mind. I know what; I went to the sound of someone yelling. How many times had he taught me about the darker parts of London? "When you hear someone yelling for help, you get your tail away from that voice. Odds are, the thing that made them need help is still there and they've got no issues sticking you with a knife if you get in their way." But he didn't say it this time, he knew I knew. So he made a turning motion with his hand, his signal to continue the tale.

"Well," I said with a swallow. "I turned the corner and looked out... and there was this tiger. But he was bleedin' from his stripes. It was ghastly. He glistened and stuff in the lantern... And he was screaming for someone to stop, to not hurt him. Then... I saw him." I swallowed again and rubbed my eyes, trying to get the image out. "He... I couldn't tell what he was. He only had his mask on and that claw you told me about. But he was naked everywhere else, and he was... well, he was hard as you get in the mornings," I said with a wry smirk. But Gideon didn't look to be in a laughing mood. He sighed and took a small nip of his flask. "And... And well, I watched him use the claw... he cut the man's throat out with a wave of his hand... Chunks of it fell near me. That's when I ran. He may have heard me, I dunno... but I got out there. I ain't ever going back there, neither."

"Wait," Gideon said with a frown. "He was hard? And naked?" He blinked and rubbed the back of his head in thought. "I can't say I remember seein' either of those things when I saw him as a pup, but then I guess times are changing, I suppose."

"Whatever it is," I began and took my hat from his head, pulling it on my own skull, "it just means I ain't going anywhere near that part of town. Naked and hard Spring Heeled Jack is enough to make me know where I'm not wanted."

"Righto," Gideon said and stretched his arms. "You should get inside, you got work in the morning, and I need to get back to the hideout. You just keep an eye on things and if you ever feel like you're in any lick of trouble, you just find me or my Howlers. I'll put the word out that you got special protection."

I smirked and flexed my arms. "Thanks, I know I'm tough but I may be having an off day. Plus your Howlers are mean old guttersnipes."

"Ey now!" he said with a smile and pulled me in for a one-armed hug. "They may be from the gutter but they ain't no snipes. Now go on, I'll come by in a day or two to just see how things are going with ya. Now go on!"

I smiled and went around the front of the shop, feeling so good after being so scared. Gideon always made me feel better. The fact he was using his gang to protect me meant a lot -- Gideon was not a king or anything, they were loyal only as long as they knew he was strong and could protect them. Telling them to watch out for me, a non-Howler and his bed mate at that was going to cost him a little bit. Probably a fight or two from the stupider guys who didn't know just how strong he really was. Normally I'd worry about him, but Gideon was always street smart and he wouldn't have made such a promise if he didn't think the cost was worth it.

I went to bed that night feeling like things were going well for me. I had good friends, I guess a lover, stories to share and a career in the making. Another year or two and I could splinter off and make my own company if I wanted to. But since I was still small enough to go up and down chimneys Alister wouldn't let me go just yet -- my contract would be too valuable. Older, small, and experienced. I didn't blame him; I didn't have the money to start my own business anyway. Plus, I wasn't done just being here, where I belonged.

That night was the last time I ever felt truly safe in London.

It was three days after the incident in the alley with Spring Heeled Jack and... so much had happened, so much had gone wrong. I had gone through the days in a blur and a haze, but also being a strength people needed.

The worst had happened to us as a company. Alister had died.

Everyone who knew Alister McCaffrey knew he was not long for this world. He had the cough, often putting him in bed for days at a time. It was how I learned so much; he put me in charge one day when he could barely get out of bed.

I had become more than a simple chimney sweep that day when I came back and had given him all the money earned from that day. I'll never forget the look he gave me when he counted it and checked the book of receipts I had also turned in. I don't think he had trusted me to be honest with it. It was, after all, the most money I had ever held in my short life. But I knew bad things came around and I knew it wasn't my money. I also knew that anything I stole was taking food and shelter from the other boys, the smaller ones who died easily or got hurt. Alister always took care of us even when his peers made fun of him for it. He once told me he would never be a father to us, but he would make sure we never went cold or hungry.

I still can't believe he is gone. Everything went so fast. The people from the city and the church came and examined the body and the Sisters took him away. Since I was the oldest and his Journeyman, I was the one who had to sit and listen to everything, and act like I knew even half of what they told me. I hated that I was also questioned by the police, like I had done anything wrong, but they were just collecting their information. One officer even got me a cup of hot tea when he saw I was having a hard time just sitting still.

I hated it. I hated that I had to be the big man, the one who listened and had people ask me what to do. I hated that I had to make decisions Alister was supposed to make. What was worse was that he didn't have much of a will, just that he wanted to be buried. He made sure each of us boys got some of his money, and me a little more. Nothing much -- he never had much -- but it was touching.

We all went to the funeral. It was odd, of course, all of us just standing there on a work day. The Sisters had said they would cover our expenses for a week while they figured out what to do with us. Technically we had no "master" now, and that was bad. We couldn't work as chimney sweeps since our contracts were all returned to the church. I had begged the Sisters to keep us all together. They said they would do what they could but they couldn't make any promises.

Some of the smaller boys cried. Alister was a good 'un. He never hit us hard, usually just a cuff if we were doing something stupid like throwing embers around or seeing which of us could take a punch to the chest without having the wind knocked out of him. It hurt, I can't lie about that. It hurt more than I wanted to admit but I did what I always did and buried it deep down. I was still Simon King, Journeyman chimney sweep of Alister's. I was the one everyone looked to. I clenched my fists as the simple funeral ended. We were all in our Sunday Best. But it was over and done with so quickly.

I took Billy aside and told him to get everyone back home and have someone start cooking lunch. The Sisters brought us a lot of food recently and we could all use a good meal. He didn't argue and I watched as the lot of them headed down the hill back home.

When they were out of sight, I ran.

I ran and I ran. I couldn't stop running. I had wanted to do this ever since I had woken up that morning to Avery screaming that Alister had gone cold and he was stiff as a board. I didn't want to see his face when I pulled the sheet off him and I knew he was dead. I clenched my eyes closed as I ran on instinct, I ran simply because it was what I needed to do.

God, how did this pain go away? I felt carved out, like someone had taken a scoop and pulled my insides out. What was I supposed to do? Alister was... he was the world to us. He was making sure we had a job, money, food...

Could I do this? Could I lead them? Run a company? I barely knew my letters and numbers. The idea of so many people being dependent on me, needing me --

The world spun. My chest tightened. I tried to take a gasp and couldn't breathe. I was in some alleyway. I don't know where, it smelled nice... a bakery was nearby, I think. Everything was wet from the overcast. I was leaning against the brick, holding my chest as I tried to breathe. Why couldn't I take a breath?

Everything felt tight and the world around me darkened. I fell to my knees in a shallow puddle and opened and closed my mouth, one hand on my throat... I did everything I could to breathe. Finally, when my lungs burned with a kind of fire I did not know existed, I got a small gulp of air. Just a strangled one. A sip of life to keep me on this planet...

Then another.

And another.

Finally, I could take shallow breaths. They were so tight. My chest hurt. Everything hurt. I was so scared. I was so hurt.

Why did you have to die, Alister?! Why couldn't you have just spent the money on the good medicine?! Why did you not tell me you were feeling so sick that you needed a physician?! Why didn't you let me help you?!

I screamed. I screamed so loud my throat burned and I fell forward, slamming my fists into the water again and again, sending droplets of cold liquid flying around us, soaking into my clothes in places. My scream, my wail, turned into a cry of pain. It all came out in an angry, sad torrent of emotion that I had been keeping dammed up deep down.

I cried. I sobbed. I cursed everything: God, Alister, the sickness, Spring Heeled Jack, everything that had happened that had made my life a little harder.

I had never asked for much; I knew my place as a poor chimney sweep. I was never going to be anything more than that, so I never asked for things like carriages or horses or palaces. I Just wanted warm clothes, a warm bed, food and friends. But the pillar of stability in my life had crumbled, and died. I was left here to not only sort out my own emotions but also everyone else's.

I shed all the tears that I had been holding inside me for days. The tears I never let come to the surface. It hurt so much. I couldn't remember the last time I ever cried like this. But I let it out because I knew I couldn't do this back home. I couldn't let my emotions be seen by the others who needed me now more than ever. I sat with my back against the wall, knees pulled up and my face pushed into them, arms folded over my face.

When my throat felt raw, my face puffy and my head aching, I felt exhausted. Curled up into this little ball between a barrel and a box in some no name alley with nothing around but out of the wind, I was warm. Warmer than I had been in the puddle. I felt the darkness close around me as I fell asleep right then and there, my body finally to the point of exhaustion.

I woke up to someone gently shaking me. At first I was sure it was someone angry I had fallen asleep in public, something that could get you a swift kick or smack by the police or worse if you weren't careful. Until I heard a voice calling my name.

I opened my eyes and blinked, lifting my head and wincing as the pain in my skull sliced through me like a hot knife through butter. I still had a headache but even that wasn't enough to hide my surprise when I found Avery kneeling next to me, a worried look on his face.

"Simon," the little wolf said softly and shook me one more time, "where have you been? We've been looking everywhere. Gideon is about ready to have his whole gang start turning over stones to find you."

I blinked a little bit and then it all came back to me. Alister was gone and so much rested on my small shoulders now. Such a huge part of me wanted to run away from that responsibility. I wasn't sure I could do it. Then I saw Avery tilting his head to the side as he looked my face over.

"Simon, your face... it... " he started, and I cut him off and quickly turned to face away from him, cursing inwardly. I had a hand down into my tail and ruffled out some of the soot and brought my hand up to rub my cheeks and eyes quickly. Satisfied with my quick work I turned to look back at Avery.

"Simon, that... wait a minute... are you...!" He was caught off guard by me grabbing him by his muzzle and pulling him in close.

"I'm never going to hurt you, Avery, but let's not talk about that, alright? Best something left unsaid, you hear me?" I said, letting him go and watching him stare at me like he had never seen me before. I guess, in a way, this was the first time he was seeing me.

"What're you doing here?" he finally asked, touching my shoulder. "This isn't even anywhere near your usual places. I only found you 'cause I can smell just as well as any adult wolf." I saw a little bit of pride wash through Avery. It was true, even though he was just a chimney sweep boy, he had one hell of a sense of smell.

I wasn't sure if I should say anything. I was used to keeping things to myself, and Avery was someone who usually needed to be protected rather than be the protector.

But I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"He's --" My voice hitched a little bit. "He's dead, Av. He just... died. He was pretty sick, he was always sick, but... he never showed it when we were working. He was... he was really good," I said with a heavy swallow and a pain deep in my chest. Was this what it felt like to lose a family member?

"Ah," Avery said and sat down next to me, leaning against my arm. I reflexively put my arm around him. He was so small and fit so well in the crook. "You know... everyone's cried since he died."

"I know," I said, swallowing again. I had helped some of the others talk through their pain. I couldn't remember a damn word I said, but I helped them get to sleep nonetheless.

"Everyone but you, that is," Avery said with a sigh. "You know... we know you and Alister were close. You're his oldest worker, he made you his journeyman. He trusted you with the money and made sure we were all doing our job. And you liked him. He was good, just like you said."

I didn't dare talk. I was barely keeping the tears away.

"But," the wolf continued, speaking so softly, drawing in the dirt with a stick he had found next to him, "he was sick, Simon. He was dyin'. We all knew it, he knew it too. You know he would tell me he was worried he'd die before you were ready to take over? He made me swear never to tell, sayin' you'd just worry about this and that. But he said you were a good 'un too, and he said he was never prouder than when he saw you working the streets like you were a full-fledged master sweeper."

That made me smile a little bit, the mental image of Alister pushing his cart and me walking up and down the streets shouting for business, taking payments, talking up the people, dodging the odd swipe from the drunk. Alister had taught me more than just clinging chimneys; he had taught me how to look at people, how to convince them, how to even trick them by using choice words. He was sly, but then he's a fox. It's our nature.

"And I know this is going to sound selfish, but we need you back home, Simon. We need you to show us we're gonna be fine. We need you to be the Master Sweeper you know you can be. I know you can be. It'll be hard but we'll all be there with you."

Oh, Avery. How you always knew what to say. The void in my chest swelled and then filled with something else: purpose. I still hurt. Hurt a lot. But I knew I couldn't just cry myself to sleep in an alley again. With a swallow and a nod to myself I got up onto my feet and dusted my rump off.

"Right-o," I said quietly, rubbing my nose and fixing my cap on my head. "I guess I should get back and see what's for dinner." I said it with a fake smile, but it was one of my overconfident and charming smiles, even if I felt tears in the corner of my eyes. You had to learn to smile through pain and sadness, especially guys like us. We had to always be strong.

Avery smiled and got up to his feet and wagged his smaller tail, looking like he was so much happier. I smiled and reached into my pocket, handing him a mint I had been given by one of the Sisters and nudged him with an elbow. "You know you should join Parliament. You know how to make people listen to you."

"No," Avery said through the large mint in his muzzle. "I canh only get you to lisftin when you hit rock bottom." He was now sucking on the sweet treat. I was never a fan of mint so I was fine with passing it off to my friend.

We walked mostly in silence but with a new sense of pride in my chest. I knew I could do this job, I could be the man Alister knew I could be. It would be tough of course, and if I failed no one would trust me to run a shop ever, but I knew I could. I was already planning on how to delegate things. I couldn't do it alone, not at first. I needed my friends to help. After all, they were still here. It was also nice to think clearly since the night I saw Spring Heeled Jack -- it was like finding this purpose had given me direction.

When we opened the door to Alister's I was talking to Avery when I bumped into someone much taller and much more muscular than I was. I grunted and fell down onto the ground, looking up.

"Oy!" I said, quickly getting up to my feet. "What's all this? What the hell do you think you're doing in here?"

The stranger turned around slowly. That unique shaped head, that smirking muzzle, that brownish fur. My eyes shot wide when I saw a badger I had never hoped to ever see again.

"Ello boys," he said, grabbing me by the shoulders and shoving me further into our home. "Glad you could finally make it... Simon, was it? You lads have no idea how lucky you are, that from the bottomless generosity of my heart I have bought all your contracts. You won't have to worry about being unemployed."

"Simon," I heard a voice say to me. Avery. He was tugging on my sleeve. "Who's this? He seems to know you."

"That I do, boyo," the man said, stepping closer with a wicked grin on his muzzle. "As of today you are all employed by the finest street sweeper in all of London. My name is Duncan. Should you ever forget who your new boss is, pup, you may just go see your old one."