FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

*Author Note*

You may want to check out the emotions story before reading this...either way you'll get the full affect of the emotions. http://www.sofurry.com/page/175486/user

*Unknown Emotion*

(Blake)

A set of paws stroked my spine, gentle; a touch so smooth, so sweet. Fingers tracked the line in my back, ending at my tail, causing me to shiver from the paws. I shivered not from comfort or shock, yet from fear and uneasiness, like I didn't want to be in this place.

My location didn't even seem recognizable. A small, cold, dark room, filled with objects that were not of my possession. I felt alone, yet someone was behind me; scared, though nothing to be afraid of; confused and lost, but I had no idea why? Darkness screamed out, causing me to shiver again.

Next, a set of lips slowly kissed down my cheeks, going down my neck, reaching shoulders, down my upper back, finally stopping mid-back. Those lips, so gentle and moist, were familiar. I've set my own lips upon them once, but the experience was not as memorial seeing that I did not recognize who they belong to.

Arms wrapped around my upper-chest, holding me firmly, and from there the paws worked their way down my chest, hitting my abs, it sort of made me feel weak -submissive. My wolf instincts wanted to burst out, growl, show dominance, yet, I remained frozen. The desire to do something, anything, burned deep inside, but my will was not strong enough.

The sound of slight pants could be heard, penetrating my eardrums. I could feel the low, hot, moist breathes being released, hitting my neck. Each one created a new fear; each one making me feel warm, yet my mind and soul remained cold -frozen. Like an Iceberg, I sat there, motionless -frozen.

Questions started to feel my mind. Why was I here? Who had their arms wrapped around me? How did I get in such a predicament? The questions were asked countless times; I was being pushed further into the darkness by my self-query. The deeper I was forced, the colder it got.

All of a sudden, the unknown body behind me began to grind into my back, murring aloud, his body ached for attention, but one question stuck: who would give it to him? The fires my desire gave off was not enough to defrost my movement, I remained motionless, afraid of what, or who, pushed against my back.

At that second, I would have given anything to be home, in my own bed, cuddled with my wolf.

My wolf...

The images flashed of a greyish-white wolf, his smile warmed my body, almost taking my troubles away -almost. The body behind me made sure my mind remained on it, its paws rubbing over my broad chest, over my nipples, traced my abs. They gave me more and more attention, yet I attempted to ignore. Whatever the paws required, they were not getting from me. Whatever their goals were, I would have no part in aiding, or guiding. If anything, I craved for the two paws to discontinue. I would put a stop to them myself, though my body; my arms; my legs were not receiving signals. They remained stiff.

"I want you..." A voice said from behind, it obviously belonged to the set of paws.

The voice was calm, yet lustful; quiet, yet audible; questioning, yet demanding. It forced me to shift my head, just a bit, and see who spoke, and as I did, the sight of a cute snow leopard caught my attention. His face seemed drowsy, probably because he fell horny.

The snow kitten looked me in the eye; I noticed his eyes were light blue, like the sky. His ears were perked up, well, one of them, while the other laid flat against his head, containing three earrings of different colors: pink, blue, and light green. He seemed so small, compared to me he would appear -cubbish.

"No...you don't..." I whispered, my voice tiny, fragile, but strong in standpoint.

The unknown guy leaned down to kiss me, and was stopped. From some unknown power, I gained the strength to reach up and place a paw between our muzzles before intersecting. It shocked the both of us, mostly him; his eyes went wide from the brief halt.

"I can't..."

We gazed into one another eyes for a prompt second, before the feline grabbed my paw, laid back, and pulled my body on top of his, wrapping his legs around me for a finale. He trapped me between his legs, his grip tight, surely it left no possible way to break loose.

"You want to...I want to...A nice, young black wolf like yourself wants to fill me with his canine cock, breed me, feel my tight ass clench around that wolf wood." He grabbed me by a collar I wore. It was red with a tag saying 'Love you always, and forever, till the end of time'

I looked down at the red collar, immediately freezing, once more. That collar, it held something very special; something that could not efface my memory. It held a promise, one I made to a friend -a long lost friend. As I gazed at the shiny tag on the collar, the snow kitten noticed, and began reading what was on it.

"Love you always, and forever, till the end of time? What's this, something your mother gave to you?"

A small grin spread across my muzzle, a memory came to mind, I could remember it so clearly, and even though it was a sweet memory, I fought it. The sweetest of memories held the power to make even a mighty man fall, get in the feeble position, and cry like a cub.

I pulled back, removed myself from the snow leopard, picked up a few things, which appeared to be my clothes, and left that dark room. The kitten could be heard from outside his room, whining in frustration from letting his boy-toy, up and walk out before having a chance to play. By the time I made it to the exit, my shirt and shoes were safely on, so I walked out of the door.

Strong, cool breezes hit me head-on, inducing a very hard shiver and the chattering of my canines. It was a very cold night, one of those Fall nights with intense winds, the type you can walk, think, and let the wind blow all of your problems away -a perfect night. Judging by street activities, it appeared to be around 1:00a.m, maybe later.

The night's wind triggered my memory. I began a walk down memory-lane, remembering close to everything I did not know a while back. For example, that snow leopard had been my date. The night played back in my mind. I could remember going to a nice outside dinner. The little kitten, Oscar, was a random guy I met on the internet; he seemed decent -sophomore in college, lived alone, held a stable job.

Although Oscar carried traits every good mate should, he could never compare to the one I lost. One guy stuck with me, his memory ever-so sweet. That guy made me feel special, a lover and a friend, but most of all he was mine, in a previous life. Even though he ceased to exist in my life, I still held something close to my heart -an object that would serve as a reminder. I gripped the collar that set around my neck; memories quickly washed through my brain, showing reruns of the past.

"Haha! Sit still! Let me put it...there!"

A white wolf placed a beautiful red collar around my neck. The red collar represented our one-year anniversary, and in my eyes, it was the most gorgeous object ever given as a gift. I ran my paws over the circular object to find a metal tag. I looked at it, seeing words, or a phrase, had been engraved.

"What does it say?"

The white wolf inched closer, grabbed the metal tag in a paw, and read it, his muzzle only inches from mine.

"Love you always, and forever, till the end of time."

After he read the engraving, his eyes slowly met mine, and he smiled. The words engraved were sweet, a real tear-jerker. Leave it up to the white wolf to give a sentimental One-Year Anniversary gift.

"Happy Anniversary, Mr. Wolf."

Tears began to fill my eye-sockets as I wrapped both arms around the wolf's waist and brought him closer, and into a kiss. Our lips met, bodies unionized, tongues twisted together. A kiss. No. A passionate kiss -one that showed just as much affection as the first we shared. Our muzzles retracted. We looked the other in the eye...

"I love you."

The little white and grey wolf's paw grazed over my furred cheek, gazing deep into my spectacles.

"I love you too..."

The memory ended as the wind implanted a cold kiss upon my furry body. Such a sweet moment, one I wish to relive -one I'll never receive again. Everyone wants the opportunity to go back in time: fix mistakes, enjoy that bad-ass party -see a loved one. Like the old saying 'You never know what you have until it's gone.'

The flaw in that ancient saying is I knew what I had, cherished it with my heart, mind, and soul. What I once obtained had my heart, and was given his in return. Now, I walk a cold journey, wondering how I lost everything in a matter of seconds. Why me? I queried more than a thousand times, if not millions. Why do I endure pain, day in and day out?

Good people go through difficult trails throughout their life, while the bad ones cheat and steal, but never get caught. No one is perfect -certainly not me, but I have tried to be a good person, for myself, and for a certain fur. Though the things I've sacrificed, hardship I've encountered, it always leaves me with nothing -except a broken heart.

It wasn't my fault, nothing was my fault. In the past 3 months I've partaking in twelve dates, all ending with a walk-out, bail, or cancelation. None of the guys did these things, it was all my doing. The dates were not un-dateable, that wasn't the case. It was a personal fear of mine to become close to someone. No, that wasn't it. I couldn't give me heart away. How could I give something that has already been claimed?

No. The blame could not be placed on this wolf. The person who had my heart was to blame; he kept me from being happy with others, instead, happy with his memories.

"How is it my fault."

Someone spoke just as I passed a lamppost. I quickly turned around to see who said it, catching sight of a white wolf in the dim light. I looked at him; this wolf had always lurked in the shadows, waiting for his chance to interrogate me. The wolf was short, with long, white, greyish fur, wearing semi-baggy jeans and an all-black shirt.

"Yes, you're the one to blame. I can't be happy, you're always with me, every step I take, every date I go on, you're there to ruin it...I hate you."

I turned around and began walking down a lonely street. As I walked passed another lamppost, the wolf appeared again, this time sitting on a bench; his legs were crossed and arms folded.

"Is that so? You hate me? I really don't think that's possible..."

The small wolf chuckled to himself; the lamppost flickered, and the wolf vanished in thin air. It didn't bother me, I just kept walking, not thinking of him. He appeared again, three lampposts down.

"It is...that's why I'm ignoring you. I hate you...you're ruining my life, so fuck off!"

"How about you make me..." The little wolf said as I passed him. Those words caused my walk to come to a halt. "Do you really think I'm the one ruining your life?"

I turned around to face the wolf, but to my dismay, he vanished -again. Returning in my normal direction, the wolf could be spotted a few feet ahead. I quickly walked up to him, standing tall and straight.

"If you want me to go, then do what you have to...but I'm pretty sure...deep down...you still love me..."

The white wolf gave a soft smile, showing ever canine in his maw. Memories began flooding my mind. The face, smiling at me, brought back every good memory. Inside my mind it started to rain, filling me up with so many emotions. The raindrops filling my mind escaped through my eyes; tears gently flowed down my cheeks and matted my fur down.

"I do...I do love you...."

I placed a paw on his cheek, but as expected, the one in front of me was a mere illusion, as the white wolf dissolved in my paws in a white mist. The tears streamed down my cheeks harder now. I grabbed the metal tag on the collar, triggering a different memory -this one, not so good.

"Please don't do this babe...it's already hard on me doing this..."

The wolf stood in one spot as I paced, back and forth. A few seconds previously I received devastating news, something heartbreaking. Just moments ago, the little white wolf told me he was moving; his parents were given a job in a different city, meaning he would follow -yet that wasn't the bad news...

"You're moving, but breaking up with me? Why? We can make this work, I promise! A long-distance relationship could be good for us, most couples start off with long-distance...they grow because of it. Please don't leave me, I know we can make this work if we stick together..."

My words meant nothing to the little wolf; it seemed he made his mind up. The final bit of hope was to plead.

The small lupine walked up, gently placed a paw on my cheek, and looked into my eyes -they screamed of sorrow, hurt, and pain, yet they felt determined.

"We're moving halfway across the country, to California...I can't have you waiting for me...two years? That would be way too much to ask. You're a wolf with a lot of things going for you, a lot of people want you...I can't get in the way of that...plus...I'm scared of getting hurt."

I grabbed the wolf's tiny paw and caressed it in mine.

"What could you possibly be scared of?"

Our eyes remained locked-on to the other. The beautiful white wolf, in front of me, did seem scared; his eyes shot out signals, clearer than fireworks on the Fourth of July.

"If you fall in love with someone else... If that happens... and we're still considered a couple... I wouldn't know what to do. Don't say it can't happen, because you've fallen for another person once before. This way we can both be happy, and neither will be hurt in the end..."

The small, gentle paw slid down my cheek.

"I love you..."

The little wolf turned around and walked away, his tail resting between his legs -motionless.

"I...love you too..." I whispered.

Reality returned and I had no idea where I was located. Lost in thought, I guess my legs wandered, and placed me in an unknown area. I held the metal tag tight between my paw and rubbed over the engraved text, repeating it in a whisper. "Love you always, and forever, till the end of time."

Everything was a lie. No one could love forever, let alone the end of time. If that was true, I would not be here right now, lost in a void created by my most inner thoughts, or seeing loved ones who are on the other side of the country. The forever I experienced didn't even last more than a year.

I sat on a random bench, making myself confortable as my arms fold in attempt to trap the warmth. In the beginning, my vision being blurry did not occur as a problem, but as my eyes adjust, I could make out where I ended up. This place, it held one of the best memories of them all.

"This place...it's where we made our relationship official."

A voice came from my right, causing me to turn and see the miniature wolf.

"You're back to torment me, or what?"

"What are you talking about?" The wolf asked.

I stood up, furious, hurt, and sad! I faced the wolf, our bodies no more than twelve inches apart. It was time to put a stop to this. Whatever I did to induce these illusions, I would never partake in again.

"Leave me alone! I want to get over you, but you keep haunting my mind, popping up when least expected, ruining my dates! I can't get you out of my mind, it's always you! Why? What do you want from me? Is it revenge for trying to find a new boyfriend? You told me to! Are you after my soul, because you already own my heart and mind! Please, fill me in!? Why do you keep appearing when I don't want you too..."

Silence ambushed me and the illusion at-hand. Usually the Illusion would have a smart comment waiting, yet this time, nothing. It just stood there, looking at me in a half-confused manner. Out of nowhere, the little wolf began chuckling, which soon switched over to laughter.

"Great...my illusions are laughing at me now...this is bullshit." I turned around and walked off.

The little wolf continued laughing, his body bouncing from the joyful moment. I just sighed, shook my head, and continued walking away.

"Wait!" I stopped and turned around. The wolf walked up to me and grabbed my collar, twirled it around, and read the engraved text. "It's really sweet that you weren't able to move on without me, it shows you're dedicated...I guess you proved me wrong, and guess I made a mistake..."

I looked down at the wolf's paw, gripping the metal tag -appalled. This illusion -what was I drinking last night? I was surely going crazy.

"Love you always, and forever, till the end of time." The wolf said as he looked up and gazed into my eyes.

"W-what...you're an illusion...you can't touch me..."

The wolf chuckled and shook his head in disbelief.

"Dammit, what kinda drugs did you start takin?"

"I don't know, something pretty damn strong to have an illusion making physical contact..."

"I'm not an illusion, you idiot!" The lupine giggled.

"The real you is on the other side of the continent...you...you're an illusion, quit messing with me..."

"If I was an illusion, could I do this..."

The wolf stood on his paw-tips and connected our muzzles. A rush of memories, good and bad, filled my head; flash backs played. The kiss felt so real. Was it? There was no way he could be here, in front of me, at this time -kissing. It was impossible.

Our lips departed, but slowly, gazing in the other eyes as we pulled back. A paw rose, and I placed it on his cheek to discover he was actually tangible.

"Y-you're real..."

The little wolf nodded and leaned in for another kiss. He grabbed the metal tag on my collar, once more, and held it tight within his grasp. His paws ran over the text again, and he flipped it over to reveal a different message carved.

'<3 you Blake; Love Austin'