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Sometimes a chain of events happens only because most of the people involved are very stupid, very drunk or very horny. This is one of those times.

*****

His name is Frank. He is a college student at Cal State Long Beach and is very drunk. It is early afternoon on Hallowe'en and he doesn't have a costume.

"Stupid costume store," he slurred. He threw a beer can at a trash can as he went by. He missed. "Stupid Walmart."

The store clerk apologized for being virtually out of costumes. So was the one Wal-Mart in easy walking distance. That is what happens when you wait until Halloween morning to shop.

The frat house hosting the party he wanted to go to was built right above the breakwater. You could see and smell the ocean from the back deck. Frank arrived back there after a walk up the beach and there on the sand not fifty feet from the door was a sleeping sea lion.

"Hey," Frank said to himself. "What a great idea."

It wasn't. It was a very, very stupid idea.

The sea lion blinked awake as Frank's hands gripped its upper and lower jaws. With a lurch it found itself hoisted upward and the next thing it knew Frank's head was its mouth.

The sea lion tried to thrash free from whatever was gripping its jaws but in an enthusiasm of drunken strength Frank lifted and pulled and to its astonishment the sea lion found itself being pulled over the man like an elastic watch cap. By the time it was fully awake Frank had pulled the sea lion's jaws over himself and they were stretched tightly around his waist, its startled eyes and flared nostrils atop his left hip and its lower jaw atop his right.

"SEAL-MAN!" Frank said, and waddled blindly toward the frat house. He'd lived there for a semester and a half, and even with his face in a sea lion's stomach he knew the way.

*****

The student manning the door of the frat house heard a thumping on the door even over the music blaring from the other rooms. He opened it and it was his turn to widen his eyes in surprise.

"Behold," came the muffled voice from inside a swollen sea lion. "SEAL-MAN!"

The doorman took an alarmed step back as a strange creature tried to waddle through the door. From the waist down human, white shorts and sandals on tanned skin, and from the waist up sea lion, with its flippers oscillating from side to side up above and its jaws wrapped around the half-swallowed man. The man's right hand poked from beneath its cheeks and gave the doorman a thumbs-up.

The reverse merman bumped blindly into the doorman, who began to think that the one drink he had earlier was spiked with something. Even through three inches of sea lion fat and muscle he recognized the voice, though.

"Frank? Is that you?"

"There is no Frank," came the muffled and very drunk voice. The protruding left hand felt the surface of the entry table, grabbed a beer someone had left there and dragged it up inside the sea lion's distended maw. The sea beast gagged as the hand and can were forced up its throat and a bulge showed atop the shape of a half-swallowed man's face as he managed to chug down the beer. A moment later the hand reappeared and the sea lion coughed up the can.

"There is only SEAL-MAN!"

"Okay man," said the doorman, "You can go in already. Just leave me alone."

Every eye in the main room turned to the door as the strange vision waddled into view. A very unhappy sea lion was stretched over a man little smaller than it was, his head in its stomach and his shoulders bulging its body all out of shape. It really did look like a very strange, but well made costume. SEAL-MAN waddled into the room, sea lion hind flippers flapping above and human legs carrying the weight of both creatures. The poor sea beast's foreflippers pressed against its the great bulge in its body, trying to squeeze the half-a-human in its gullet back out.

The bizarre conglomerate was instantly the focus of attention. "It's Frank" yelled the doorman, happy to foist the problem off on someone else. The other party goers, all in costume and all more or less drunk, crowded in close.

"Cool costume Frank," slurred a Blackenstein's Monster as drunk as Frank was.

"Look how realistic it is!" Said a knight in cardboard and duct tape armor.

Blackenstein petted the sea lion's head, which did not make the animal any happier. It wanted only to disgorge its wearer and disappear back into the surf.

But it couldn't. Clumsy out of water at the best of times it was held where it was by its own weight. Frank's head was lodged in its stomach and a whole human torso stretched its throat and jaws out of shape. Maybe if Frank fell over it could spit him out and flee but it was stuck where it was for now.

A combination of factors had so far kept Frank from suffering the consequences of his drunken stupidity. Though it was stretched over its half-swallowed wearer the awkward shape of man kept the sea lion's throat from making a tight seal. Air continued to make its way up the beast's gullet to Frank and since it could not properly close the sphincter between throat and stomach its body healthily chose not to generate the gastric juices that would otherwise be digesting Frank's head. Frank's face did not dissolve and the sea lion didn't get acid reflux, which was a fair trade.

There was a lot of alcohol running through various bloodstreams at the party and things escalated quickly.

"Oh look," said a college girl in a belly dancer costume. "Frank's costume has a dick too." Sure enough, the huge bulge of Frank's shoulders made the sea lion's normally hard to see sheath-slit stand out and the barest pink was visible. A very drunk college girl dressed as a witch began to rub the length of sheath. The bulge of Frank's shoulder made it easier to see and it got easier yet as the confused sea lion's cock stiffened under this attention. It was young, it was healthy and very soon SEAL-MAN sprouted a hard-on from his shoulder.

One thing led to another and soon four giggling college girls whisked SEAL-MAN away from the crowd. No sooner had a door closed behind them then one pulled Frank's shorts down around his knees. The right hand sticking out of the sea lion's maw once more gave a thumbs up as a girl dressed as Harley Quinn began to enthusiastically suck his cock.

The sea lion for his part was suddenly a lot less disturbed by his current situation, for his own cock slid from its sheath right into the witch's mouth. The college girl dressed as Cheetah giggled and pumped the sea lion's shaft with the hand not holding a beer, for the "costume's" dick was substantially longer than Frank's.

"What's going on," mumbled Frank, who felt the swaying as the confused but horny sea lion tried to thrust into the witch's mouth. Drunk since this morning, Frank had already forgotten why slimy stomach flesh was wrapped around his face. His costume was hot and there was a weird thumping in his ears that got faster and faster as the witch sucked the sea lion off. He would have been a lot more troubled if someone weren't sucking him off as well.

It took Frank and the sea lion not long at all to decide they were happy with what was going on and the hands protruding from the sea beast's maw grabbed "Harley's" shoulder ruffles so he too could thrust. "Cheetah" shoved the back of the witch's head and the woman in the belly dancer costume shoved Harley's. The sea lion's flippers kicked and its pelt shivered at the same moment Frank's knees almost buckled.

The witch gagged and swallowed, consigning many, many potential baby sea lions to a gurgling digestive death at the same moment Harley managed to wriggle loose from the belly dancer's hand so she could spit out Frank's cum.

"Spitters are quitters," mocked Cheetah, who leaned forward and took the witch's place sucking the sea lion's cock.

"Hey," the witch said, rubbing a throat that a moment before was full of funny-tasting aquatic spooge. "It came. Frank's costume came in my mouth."

"Liar," said Harley. "Where's the cum then?"

"Spots here made me swallow it!" said the witch, and "Cheetah" giggled around a mouthful of sea lion. That made the witch give her the same shove she'd been given a moment before and the sea lion, who was suddenly extremely OK with the way his evening was going, reached out with his foreflippers and wrapped them around Cheetah's upper arms. It managed to twist itself around so Frank's face-bulge now had a cock where its chin should be. Half of one anyway, the other half being in a giggling college girl's mouth and throat.

The other three girls thought the face cock was hilarious and egged on Cheetah until she too went wide-eyed with surprise and gulped reflexively. That is what happens when the tip is well past your tongue. It's swallow or throw up.

Sea lion bulls are built to service a whole harem of cows and this young sea lion, who wasn't nearly big and strong enough to earn the position of a harem master, now found an opportunity to use its formidable sexual reserves. Awkward as it was to do this when stretched over half a human, it was no longer complaining.

Drunk and horny, the four college girls turned their full attention on each other and Frank's "costume". The awkward positioning of slick seabeast cock sticking out of a face and the fact they couldn't get Frank to lie down prevented anyone from impaling themselves on its impressive hard-on but that left handjobs and blowjobs, both of which the costume duly received.

"It really does cum," said the belly dancer after it was her turn to swallow. "Frank, that is the greatest costume ever."

"It's pretty hot," came the muffled voice from under the cock. The bulge of Frank's face shifted and that made the cock in Harley's mouth move. That just made the clown laugh and suck harder.

At some point the belly dancer took pity on Frank and sucked him off again but by the time they tired of the game the score was something like Frank 2, Frank's Costume 9. The girls kept passing Frank beers which he dragged up the sea lion's throat to drink and a certain amount of that spilled on the inside. Soon enough the sea lion was a bit drunk itself but its cock had been more or less constantly in a a college girl's mouth for the last two hours. It had long since decided it could live with a little discomfort if the reward was lips wrapped around its shaft.

By the time the last wad of potential baby sea lions slid down a college girl's throat Frank was worn out. He'd long since backed into the sofa and sat down, which was easier than supporting his weight plus the costume's and also made it easier for the girls to suck face-cock.

"Great costume Frank," said Cheetah, and giggled as she made her way up the stairs. "See you in the morning."

Hot, tired, and drunk, Frank leaned back in the sofa and felt around for any more beers. He'd gotten used to not being able to see out of the costume and had pounded back so much beer in the course of the evening he'd lost track of how he came to be wearing it at all.

He was dozing sitting up when the black guy in the Frankenstein costume, one of the last people awake in the frat house, came in. Frankenstein paused, looked around to see if anyone was watching, and when no one was, he rubbed the bulge in Frank's costume until he had his own chance to suck the sea lion's cock. The sleepy sea lion grunted, kicked its flippers, and with no reluctance at all let a tenth gush of cum be coaxed out of him by a willing human. That it was a male human this time made no difference to it. To a sea lion, one set of human lips feels much like another.

By now Frank was nearly asleep and as Blackenstein left he slouched over on his side until and the costume were stretched out on the soda. All had gone well for everyone concerned tonight. All would have continued to be well had Frank not made a fateful mistake.

Yawning against the slimy inside of the sea lion and stretched out on his side, Frank began to worm his way deeper into the costume. The slick lining stretched and creaked as he wriggled his butt into the sea lion's maw, but the beast was nearly asleep itself and half drunk. It didn't notice the already tight bulge in its middle growing. It wasn't much larger than Frank and the man had to fold himself up to fit but eventually one of Frank's feet and then the other pulled itself into the seal lion's maw. Frank, in his drunken sleepy confusion, had decided that costume and sleeping bag are synonymous.

The discomfort of having its maw stretched open for hours finally passed and the sea lion found its mouth was full of sandaled feet. Reflexively, almost asleep itself, the sea lion tongued the sandals off and swallowed. It took a second gulp to clear its throat of calves and feet and after spitting out Frank's sandals it settled down to sleep.

The sea lion bore no malice toward any human, especially after a whole evening of blowjobs, but as its upper stomach sphincter finally closed past Frank's feet, certain things began to happen. Air no longer made its way to Frank, which was bad enough for the wearer of the costume. Worse, with no more fear of burning its own esophagus, stomach acids finally began to flow.

The only good thing to be said was that Frank did not suffer. He suffocated quietly inside his former costume. The sea lion belched contentedly, venting the air that had kept its wearer alive. It was sound asleep when the first slow gurgles of digestion emerged from its swollen middle.

*****

It was morning before anyone realized what had happened.

"Hey, is Frank still here?" The college girl came down the stairs in her bathrobe. Remnants of smeared face makeup showed she had been Cheetah the night before. "I wanted to tell him we all had a great time. That was such a cool costume I'm sorry its not Halloween any more."

The former Frankenstein and knight nodded over their cereal, hearing about one word in ten. Eventually one looked up "Think he's in the back room with Charlotte."

That was how Cheetah found Harley fucking a sea lion. Only she didn't know it was a sea lion. What she found was "Harley" straddling Frank's costume, which was stretched out on the sofa belly up. Familiar with the costume's anatomy from last night she knew exactly where his penis slid out and at this exact moment most of it was in her.

"Morning Frank," Cheetah said, and the costume looked bright-eyed back at her. It really was a remarkably lifelike thing.

"I guess he crawled inside to sleep," Harley said. "But the costume still works. I've been down here for an hour."

She smiled, the costume smiled, and just then the sea lion grunted for what Cheetah would later learn was the third time this morning. Harley grinned and rocked her hips, almost to climax herself, as the flippers behind her butt kicked.

That was why she lost her balance atop the sea lion. It shuddered as it ejaculated, she pushed against its belly to balance herself, and her hands sank into thick fat. Something shifted inside the sea lion and it was suddenly obvious to everyone concerned that this was no costume and that whatever was inside the thing now, it wasn't an intact human being. Eight hours of stomach acid had taken care of that.

The sea lion let out a long burp as its half digested meal sloshed, Harley screamed, and Cheetah called the cops.

*****

"It ate your friend?"

"Not on purpose, officer," said Harley. Ten feet away the sea lion was stretched out on the sofa. It was frightened when she screamed. Now, belly full and internal balls emptied three times this morning, it was sleepy and looked extremely pleased with itself. It was hard to blame it.

"He was drunk and he needed a Halloween costume," former-Blackenstein explained. "The thing sleeps right by the frat house and we think he pulled it on over himself. We thought it was a super cool costume until this morning. No one realized it was that sea lion. We're almost sure he crawled inside it after the party thinking he would sleep in there."

"You think," the cop said. "You thought. You're almost sure."

"Officer, it was all Frank. He was super drunk and going on about being SEAL-MAN."

"Behold!" confirmed the former doorman. "SEAL-MAN." He shook his head.

"We all thought the sea lion was a costume," Blackenstein continued. "But looking back, it was terrified."

"And you didn't realize it was a sea lion." The cop stared pointedly at the fat, happy animal. "How, exactly?"

Cbeetah sighed. "Officer, it was a party. Most everybody was drunk except the doorman and we all thought it was some fancy thing Frank found. As soon as we realized the costume, that is, the sea lion had a dick we thought it was a sex toy thing and then, well..."

"I see. How many people had sex with this animal, then?"

"Do blowjobs count?"

The officer visibly resisted rolling his eyes. "Yes."

"Four of us gave it blowjobs but I was the only one to actually fuck it," Harley said.

"Um," said Frankenstein, "I blew it too."

No one raised an eyebrow. Everyone knew Darren was gay. Naturally he'd be interested in Frank's freaky sex costume.

"All right." The cop made a note on his pad. "You," he pointed his pen at Harley, "Probably better look into a morning after pill. Woman up the coast got knocked up by a a sea lion a while back. It's very rare but it happens."

"Hey, I heard about that sea lion guy who's a lifeguard. Is that the kid?"

"Couldn't say," the cop said. He flipped the pad shut and looked at Frank. That was the sea lion's name now. SEAL-MAN, or more properly SEA LION MAN, was now all sea lion and no man. They kept calling him Frank even after they realized he was digesting the actual Frank.

"So nothing's going to happen?" That was Harley, again. Or more properly Charlotte.

"Your friend died, but you think he did it to himself. The sea lion wasn't aggressive, it didn't attack anyone. I'm not going to call animal control if its worst crime was to let someone crawl down its throat."

And that's how Delta Phi Sigma got its animal mascot, Frank. He went back to sleeping next to the frat house and he hardly ever ate people. Frat boys would come back from the pier with the catches, let him drink beer from a bottle and watch him swallow fish the size of a man's arm. Frank would burp and everyone would laugh.

Not at all rarely, though, someone would invite him inside for some private time. Their mascot was smart enough to answer to Frank and he was smart enough to know what was about to happen when someone invited him into their room.

Briefly, until the college made them take it down, the frat's flag became a sea lion lying on its back with a woman straddling its belly. And while Charlotte was the first frat girl to worry about getting knocked up by the beast, she would be far from the last.