FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The rest of the week passed with ease, for the most part. The final OCAPs were complied with, and the Warp Core was still on schedule. Travis got to meet and talk with most of the other engineers and techs, learning who they were and what they did. Travis also learned a lot about his job. He had gone up once to Chakona Gateway to take a look at the Orion, not only as part of a tour but also to get him acquainted with the Federation Officers they would be working with. Travis was looking forward to seeing everything in action. According to Serenity, he will get the chance when they go through the Functional Compatibility and Interference Check (FCIC). During that check, they would have everything turned on, running, and operating as if moving through space. This test would be after the install of SI in a few weeks. Then, there were a few more tests that needed to be done from both production and SI before Orion was deemed functional for flight tests. Then, she would fly into the darkness of space for a few weeks before returning to Chakona.

Travis loved what he did and loved the team he was working with. Kris and Ardiz were just as smart as Serenity, owing to their years of experience. They helped Travis learn how to program and set up their topography, and how to conduct a review of their data. Today would be much of the same, but the weekend was right around the corner. There was a buzz as people tried to get all the work they needed out of the way so they could go home. For the Warp Core team, that meant being up at Chakona Gateway as the warp core was finally being installed.

Travis watched with wonder as the new core was slowly lowered by tugboats into position. The new core was supposed to be this technological marvel, capable of doing many things that would revolutionize shipbuilding. It was more efficient, had more power, and ran cleaner than previous models. However, all that was just pure speculation and theory. The core had been tested several times on the ground, but none were conducted on a ship. There was a lot more that needed to happen before that would happen. Warp core testing was a delicate process that required patience and self-control. Overclocking or going overboard could result in a core breach, which may just destroy the station. Yeah, that wouldn't be a fun day.

Travis was standing off to the side, watching as the final latches were put into place before the tugboat released the core and went home. Maintenance was working near double-time trying to inspect and confirm that the core was sitting properly. Serenity, Ardiz, and Kris also stood by his side, watching with equal intensity.

Serenity stepped up and pointed to their new toy, saying, “Well, team. Here's our job. One giant tube filled to the brim with enough explosive power to atomize us. Any Questions?"

Travis didn't miss a beat and asked, “I've got one: when can we start?"

Ardiz laughed and slapped him on the back. “Easy there, my friend. We'll get our chance soon enough." Travis grumbled good naturally as Kris and Serenity laughed.

Kris mentioned, “Now that the core is in, we'll most likely be helping during the installation process. Our techs should be bringing up our units sometime later today. Until then, we're on stand-by, right, boss?"

“Correct. I'd suggest getting yourselves familiar with the new core's specs, and some of its operating procedures. I'll be doing the same." They all nodded in agreement.

As they were leaving engineering to head back to Gateway, something caught Travis' eye. There were several maintenance specialists or specs as the SI engineers called them, talking over one of their control consoles. It seemed to Travis that they were arguing over something not being right about the setting. The few words that Travis heard mentioned something about one of the EPS manifolds not working properly. Travis could tell that this problem had been plaguing them for months. He put that in the back of his mind and followed the team out.

---

They made their way to the SI area of Gateway, which was right outside from the airlock and gantry. There were a few amenities, like a replicator and a fridge. However, this space was mostly used for engineers to get any paperwork done as needed. It was called the Dock Box by most, as it was literally a box-like room. It barely fit all four of them, which led to Travis thinking they would have to use this area in shifts during the modification process.

They gathered in the slightly cramped room with their lunches for the day. As per usual, Serenity had leftovers from the night before. However, Travis wanted to use the replicator to make himself some beef stew. He had survived on replicated food before, so he didn't mind the taste. In fact, this was considered gourmet compared to some stuff he'd been given for rations. He did notice that Serenity, Kris, and Ardiz gave him strange looks when he went over to the replicator. He shrugged it off and tried to turn it on. When he tried, however, it gave off a few sparks before blanking once more.

“Forget about it," Kris called out. “That replicator has been broken for years. No one wants to pay to fix it." The others nodded in agreement. Travis, however, took it as a personal challenge. He opened the lower hatch to peer inside. It was a mess, with what seemed like loose wiring, parts missing, and some animal had damaged some of the connectors. Overall, a bad mess, yet one Travis was pretty confident he could fix. He stood from his crouch and dusted himself off.

“Give me a minute," he said as he walked to the door. “Need to get some parts and tools." With that, Travis walked out and down the hall.

Kris, Serenity, and Ardiz looked at each other with confusion. They've heard of a few techs years ago trying to fix it themselves, but they all quit. The story goes that someone tried to use this replicator to make some burgers for lunch. When the order was requested, the replicator spazzed out and dumped nearly four pounds of mystery meat. It stunk up this area for weeks until someone went and did a deep clean. Ever since the replicator was deemed hazardous and to be left alone. They were pretty sure that Travis would give up. For Serenity, the fact that he seemed to know what the problem is and how to fix it intrigued hir. Shi never thought that he would have any experience being a handyman. Shi did remember him saying that he had worked with contractors before, but never mentioned what type. A question for another time, for sure.

About ten minutes later, Travis came back with a tool bag in one hand and a bag full of parts in the other. He set his burden down on the deck and went into the machine. Occasionally, he'd grab a tool or a part and fiddle with something inside. From their seats at a table, they couldn't see exactly what was going on. Serenity's curiosity got the better of hir.

Shi asked, “Where'd you learn to fix replicators?" The question made Travis pause. Shi felt those cracks surfacing again as slight twinges of uneasiness ran through his mind.

“Previous employment." A short answer, curt and slightly agitated. He seemed to have caught his tone and sighed. “My contracting work was based on repair and maintenance. I was considered a combat and field engineer. Fixed everything from phaser rifles, to tanks, to starships." Now, that piqued Serenity. This was very new. Very few areas or companies had field engineers, let alone combat engineers.

“Combat? But I thought you were a contractor. What did you do in combat?" Ardiz asked. Travis seemed to find the question humorous as he chuckled heartily. Shi didn't think it funny, but shi doesn't know him as well as shi liked.

“I was sent to wherever I was needed. I mostly did humanitarian or colony development. Though…" He pulled himself out of the replicator to grab a few more parts and tools. He motioned with a socket wrench as he continued, “I also doubled as a combat engineer for when things went sideways." He went back underneath and continued replacing and repairing parts. “When that happened, I was out there repairing infrastructure, armored vehicles, clearing obstacles, and other such things. All while under fire, mind you." Silence fell after that.

Serenity felt hir heart breaking for him. As callous as he seemed, he was still hurting from that time. He wasn't saying everything that happened, but it did showcase how much shi didn't know. There were so many things shi wanted to say, to ask. Shi knew that patience was the only path forward. Shi had to let him talk at his own pace and time. Shi couldn't risk him closing back up, not after all the work shi put in the past few days.

Travis pulled himself out once again and seemed pleased with himself. He put away the tools he had pulled before dusting himself off. Once the panel was put back into place, he turned on the replicator. This time, no sparks or weird sounds came from it. In fact, it hummed contentedly as it started its programming.

“There," he said with finality. “Fixed. And I know just what I'm going to test it on. Classic beef stew, hot. Potato bread, lightly buttered, warmed. Apple cider, on the rocks." All three items appeared on a tray in the replicator in record time. He picked up his meal and made his way to the rest.

As he brought his food over, all three couldn't believe their eyes. He had just repaired an unfixable machine, all without breaking a sweat. They sat there flabbergasted, completely forgetting their own meals. Travis sat down with his hot meal and took a bite. As he thought, not as bad, but could have been better. Serenity made a gagging noise before holding hir muzzle in disgust and embarrassment. Ardiz and Kris were slightly surprised at hir reaction.

“What?" he asked, perplexed by hir response.

Shi asked, “How can you stomach that replicated stuff?"

“Tastes okay to me. Don't know what you're bellyaching about."

Serenity shook hir head before explaining, “Dude, I've had replicated food before, and I can't stand it. It usually tastes off. Can't get the flavor and texture right." Travis blinked a few times before looking down at his bowl of stew. Granted, it wasn't a home-cooked meal with real ingredients, but compared to what he's had before, this was luxurious.

“Might be from my time in the boonies. When you're limited to one full meal of military rations every few days, you learn to stomach most things."

“How bad were those rations?" Travis raised his head to look up at Kris.

“Bland," he responded. “They're meant to keep you alive. They usually provide about half a day's calorie count. We substituted with whatever else we could find."

“Such as?"

Travis shrugged, saying, “Anything. Insects, lizards, small mammals. There was this avian creature that smelled and tasted like an old musty boot. We tried to cook it once. Never again." The morphs and aliens of the group shuddered again in revulsion. There were just some things one did not need to know.

“Okay," Ardiz wheezed out. “No more about that."

“Agreed. I don't want to ruin my appetite." Kris eyed his food before continuing to eat. Travis just nodded and continued eating his stew. Serenity tried not to think about it, and also went back to hir meal. After they were finished, they decided to head back to the Orion and go through the modification plans.

---

When the team came back, the two specialists were nowhere to be found, but their equipment was still out. Since Travis would be practically useless as the other three went over how the mod was supposed to go, he decided to see what the problem was. The control console was still open, showing one of the programs that the two before were arguing over. He did recognize it, as it was a standard program used throughout ship production. ZyWare was a useful program but was an absolute pain to get accustomed to. User-friendliness was not applicable in this instance since there were close to four hundred different parameters to observe and record.

Travis decided to start from the tippy-top of the program: the topography. He looked at the different cards and their settings. So far, from his experience in dealing with warp cores, everything seemed to be in order. He dug a little deeper, going into the individual settings for everything. Travis was hard-pressed to find anything wrong, which explained why the two specialists were in such a tizzy fit. Everything seemed to be exactly as it should. That is, until he found the problem.

There are a few things about a warp core that had to be set up long before the core was installed. For instance, the core serial number and model had to be inputted. While this was okay for older warp cores, Travis noticed something off with that specific setting. The warp core model was selected, but the EPS manifolds weren't recognizing the model. He looked at the model of the manifold and cross-referenced that with the current patch of Zyware. There, he found the culprit: the current version of Zyware doesn't allow for the older EPS manifolds to communicate with the newer warp core.

Well, he couldn't fix that. An IT specialist would have to come in and update the firmware. So, to help speed that along, Travis left a note with the problem and his proposed fix. It would be a while before they would come back, so Travis went back to his group. They didn't really miss him as they were so engrossed in their conversation. Travis just watched the group like a tennis match, following who was talking. He was still a little lost, but he tried to follow along as best he could.

---

The day ended, and the group was discussing what would be happening next week. Maintenance would be focusing on getting the warp core operational and functional while SI gets revved up for their install. During install, they would power check and ops check everything. Once the entire system was set up, they'd go through all sorts of system checks and procedures to get used to the system. Then, when everything is said and done, and all the other systems check good, Orion would be off on hir first voyage since mod started.

As the conversation was winding down, Travis heard some commotion going on behind him. He turned and noticed those two specialists were back. This time, there was someone else standing with them. It looked to be their boss if the higher rank insignia was any indication. They were pointing out the note he had left them, and the proposed fix. There was also some discussion on who left the note. Travis just smirked to himself and turned back around. He was caught with three sets of eyes staring at him. All held a little mirth behind them.

“What?" he asked. They all chuckled at him.

Ardiz whispered mischievously, “We saw. Did you actually fix their problem?"

“No, but I do know what the problem was. Let's hope they listen to me."

Kris shrugged before asking, “Since we're done for the day, we got an idea as for where we want to go?"

“Go? Go where?" At Travis' question, Serenity smacked hirself in.

“Oh, I forgot! Usually every Sixthday, we go out to eat as a group." Travis was intrigued. Granted, years ago he would have declined to go with them. However, times have changed, and the sense of loneliness he had felt was slowly killing him. Maybe going with them could stop that?

“Where do you usually go?"

“Depends on what we're hankering for. We have a pizza joint we like up here on Gateway, a burger joint that's amazing down at the Spaceport, and there's a pub in Amistad proper if we can get a beam down." Travis was a little nervous but tried to keep his brave face on.

“Would it be okay if I joined you?" After asking that question, time seemed to stop. They stared at him like he had grown a second head. He thought he had done something wrong. The little voice was coming back, and he hastened to take back those words. However, they died when Serenity wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in for a hug.

“Of course you can come! I meant to invite you, but we just got so busy. Please, come with us?" Travis could feel Serenity push sincerity into hir words. It was a bizarre feeling if he had to be honest. To experience sincerity was something that Travis longed for. To know that someone was being real with him. He tried to grab hold and never let go.

“Sure, I'd like that. I'll go wherever you guys decide." Shi squeezed him, making sure hir purr was felt. He could literally feel his body vibrating under the intensity of hir happiness.

“Perfect! What do you guys think? Pizza today? Or should we hit the pub?" Almost immediately, both voted for the pub. Travis had to grin at that. He recalled a pub he went to with an old friend many years ago. He missed that friend, and for a split second, wondering where he was. He pushed it out of his mind. He had to stop thinking of the past and focus on his present. What happened, happened. He couldn't change it, so why bother stressing about it? “Pub it is! Let's go!" Boy, hir joy was absolutely intoxicating and infectious. Travis had to chuckle at hir exuberance and let himself be dragged along with hir as they made their way to the transporter rooms on Orion. Ah, the perks of being a government employee.

---

The pub was in a hole-in-the-wall spot in Amistad proper. In fact, the docks for the port were literally a stone's throw from where they were dropped off. The group shook off the transporter effects and looked around. The pub was located right behind them with the docks in front. The smell of the sea was the first thing that struck their noses. It was salty as usual but invigorating to Travis. The streets were crowded, but they had been dropped off to the side, away from the passing pedestrians. The throng of people didn't really bat an eye at the sudden appearance of four people, but a few of the closest ones did spare a glance to avoid any collisions.

Travis took a deep breath of the sea air and sighed pleasantly. He may be used to working on ships, but that recycled air had nothing on the freshness of being planetside. He gave a little stretch, feeling the disks in his back reset to their proper place. He sighed in relief as the stress of the day seemed to drain away. With a final nod to himself, he turned to his coworkers and now friends. What a novel concept, friends. People he could rely on, to count on when things got hard. Granted, he wasn't that close to Ardiz and Kris, but still liked working with them. Serenity, though, kept getting closer and closer to him. It worried him a little bit. He hoped this would end in a crash and burn.

“Ah, it feels so good to be back on solid ground," Ardiz exclaimed. Hy glanced back to the pub over hys shoulder. “Looks like a normal night, guys. Shall we?" Serenity whooped before tugging Travis along. Kris followed behind them, as Ardiz brought up the rear. They filed in and searched for a place to sit. Luckily for them, there was a corner booth that was unoccupied.

The pub was designed after English pubs, including real wood for the tables and bar tops. The atmosphere was welcoming, cozy, and the clientele was genial. In fact, a few of the members waved in greeting to the group, which had caught Travis' eye. It seemed that the regulars knew Serenity and hir team. Greetings were exchanged, laughs were had, and all the while, Travis felt like the odd man out. He wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. However, he pressed on and followed Serenity as shi guided them through the throng of people inside to the booth. Once to their seat, Serenity took one side while Kris and Ardiz took the other. Travis mentally shrugged before settling in beside hir. The next thing he knew, shi was gently pressed against him. Not enough to be overtly intimate, but enough to make sure hir purring was felt. Travis loved the feeling and wished that he could experience that comfort forever.

After settling in, a waitress came up to take their orders. Fennec vixen morph, quite lovely, bubble personality. He could tell that she enjoyed her job, which Travis found to be quite endearing. She wore a simple blouse and skirt that was conservative, yet elegant. She smiled widely showcasing her winning personality.

“Hi, there! Welcome to The Sailor's Retreat Pub. My name is Rachel, and I'll be your server tonight. Can I get you started with something to drink?" They each ordered a drink of some sort, be it water, soda, or tea. Serenity also ordered some alcohol for hirself, and Travis jumped on that opportunity. He went with one of their in-house stouts, feeling a little more adventurous than normal. Serenity happened to have gone with a golden ale shi liked. Kris didn't drink alcohol, citing dietary reasons. Ardiz went with a lager, classic choice. “Coming right up! Be back in a tiff."

The group settled in and started talking, mostly telling Travis about the pub and how Ardiz found it on one of hys excursions into Amistad. Travis agreed that this was a very nice establishment, and the staff was attentive and friendly. Travis made it a priority to make it a regular thing to visit every so often. As they were talking, Rachel came back with their drinks. They then ordered what they wanted for food and continued with their conversation.

During all this, Travis' heart started to lighten. Ever since he was a kid, he never really had many friends. He could count on one hand with plenty of fingers leftover of people he considered true friends before this point. As time went on, he found himself more and more engaged with this ragtag group of engineers. He was really hoping that he could fit in. By the reactions of his colleagues, they were open and willing to accept him into their group. He was becoming less and less of a stranger, yet his cynicism was trying to stop it. His inner war was noticed by Serenity, but shi didn't comment on it. He knew shi knew, which put him at the disadvantage. His brain just couldn't pan out what exactly he should think.

The discussion started to go to funny stories that each knew. Kris told stories of when he was a kitten getting into trouble. Ardiz wasn't a troublemaker, but hy had witnessed several hilarious events. Serenity told a story of when shi tried to wear hir sire's clothes and makeup, which ended in a mess in their bathroom. Hir parents weren't too happy about that, but kind of played it off as best they could. Even now, hir youngest sister was getting into almost as much trouble as hir big sister. Then it was Travis' turn.

“You've been awfully quiet, Travis," Serenity commented. “You alright?"

Travis nodded with a slight grimace. “Yeah, I'm good. I just…" He paused as memories of his past life came rushing back. Damn, things just kept reminding him of his past. It just wouldn't stop. “As I mentioned," he finally was able to say. “I didn't have the best childhood." A bright spot then appeared in his mind's eye. He did happen to have a story to tell. “But that doesn't mean I don't have a story to share." He was about to tell the story when Rachel came back with their food. Once she was off to take care of other customers, Travis was half considering backtracking from the conversation. The anticipation he felt did help take away those thoughts, allowing him to tell the story. He cleared his thoughts and throat before speaking.

“When I was going through school, we were divided into cohorts. Each cohort had roughly about forty students, all orphans, or give-ups, across multiple ages. We were considered the rejects of society but were given a second chance. Well, during that time, I was already several years into the program and had just transferred to their upper-division courses. Halfway through the first semester of what would be considered my freshman year of upper-division schooling, rumors and whispers were circling that the freshman cohort was planning on doing a spirit mission. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, a spirit mission is something akin to a prank done on the upperclassmen. I wasn't originally convinced that it was going to happen, nor was I going to participate, but boy howdy, they had one of the greatest pranks planned.

“My cohort got it into their heads that they were going to steal the class crest for the senior cohort. Each cohort has a giant crest that the year designed for themselves. That crest was then casted in marble and later used for the cohort rings. The senior cohort always has theirs placed in a position of honor on the cohort wall. Luckily, since this was a normal spirit mission done as a joke, the wall was modular and allowed for the removal of said crests. The school woke up one morning and found that the place of honor was bare. They knew it was us, so the seniors took the next training weekend to beat us." At his words, he noticed how their ears folded back, and he could feel Serenity's tail thrashing behind him. They were mad. He could guess nearly instantly what they'd be mad about and braced himself for the tongue lashing he was about to receive.

“They abused you?" Serenity growled out. Hir rage was starting to come out, but not at him. He kicked himself up the backside. He had completely forgotten that not everyone knows the lingo of his school, so some things might come out different than he meant it. They weren't mad about the theft; they were mad about the supposed abuse that occurred. He quickly tried to douse the fire before it got out of hand.

“No, no, no! Not physical beatings. We called it a beating, but it was just them making us do physical training. Push-ups, sit-ups, running around, reciting quotes. That sort of thing." They calmed down, if barely. Travis knew he was in hot water and needed to be careful how he talked about things. “One person had the crest, but most of us didn't know who had it. Those that did kept their mouths shut. I was later told that the culprit thought it was a good idea to see how long he could hold the crest." Travis took a sip of his stout, enjoying the deep and hardy taste. He recalled someone saying that stouts were so thick that it was like chewing bread. It was an apt description for the drink.

“The crest was later retrieved and put back into place. We later found out who actually did it, but that was the following semester. Stupid thing was the idiot was found out because he bragged to a hook-up. Told her everything, including where he stashed it. A few weeks later, a senior hooked up with her, and she told him what she knew. The culprits had their weekend privileges taken away for that week and got placed on kitchen duty. Good times." He chuckled to himself. He remembered how painful, but also how amazing and fun those days were. Sometimes, he wished he could go back in time to a much simpler existence.

“Well, karma always has a way of coming back around." Ardiz chuckled out. Everyone else also laughed at that. They went to eat and enjoyed themselves. Travis had to admit that the food he got was leaps and bounds better than the replicated lunch he had earlier. He was always a bit of a foodie, but not that much where he couldn't survive on basic meals. He had lived on rations, bugs, and even had gone

Travis felt that he had recovered from his earlier blunder but decided to not talk about his life much. There were just so many things that he knew normal people would find horrid and monstrous. He'd just have to be careful and play it by ear. However, he did decide to just be himself with everything which he hoped would be enough. He needed to be real, and not use his insecurities to close himself off. He already did that once, and it may have cost him back then. Today was a new day. He could handle this. He could do this.

“I don't mean to pry, my friend, but I was actually getting curious about your previous employment." Nope, he couldn't do this.

“Uh, sure, Kris. What did you want to know?" Travis tried to keep his heartbeat steady, but it kept wanting to go berserk. He could almost feel the start of an anxiety attack looming. He had just promised himself that he wouldn't talk about his past, and yet it was being brought up again. Why did Murphy have to always kick him when he was down?

“Please, don't take this the wrong way. I just wanted to know why you left the contracting work to come here." That had so many secrets and shame involved, Travis didn't know where to start. Even Serenity's purr couldn't calm him down enough to want to answer. He froze for a second, which was noticed by everyone. Serenity put one of hir arms around him in a comforting embrace.

“Medical problems," he sighed out. “Got into a firefight one day and didn't come out unscathed. I'm considered medically discharged until further notice."

“So, they can call you back at any time? Why not keep you around outside of combat?" Ardiz asked. Travis shook his head and sighed again. This time, he felt the pains and scars from that time. The mental and physical exhaustion on his mind, the wear of years fighting just to survive. Travis knew how hard life was and wouldn't wish them to experience it. He didn't want them to see the real him.

“They need people to be at their peak. I'm not." His mind was starting to spiral. It was slow right now, but he knew that as time went on, things would get progressively worse. He wanted to escape, but he didn't see how he would.

Serenity gently hugged him tighter before speaking. “Can you tell us what happened?"

“No. I don't want to talk about it. It's not a pretty story..." He finished off the rest of his classic fish and chips before slapping a few credits down. He got up from the table, swaying a little under his anxiety. “That should cover myself. I think...I think I need to go home. See you all next week." With that, he started to walk out of the pub.

Serenity wasn't one to let someone suffer, even if the suffering was by their own making. Shi wanted to help him. Shi wanted to hold him and never let go. He needed to know that shi would be there by his side as his friend. Shi had to show him, so shi resolved hirself to act. Before he could get too far, shi grabbed his hand. Shi turned him around with a gentle tug. Once he was facing hir, shi enveloped him in a full hug. He could feel all hir emotions flowing into him. It was overwhelming to feel how much shi cared about him. It was also unnerving. How could shi care so much when they barely knew each other? Granted, they had been talking a lot, and were already close friends. This felt like much more than friendship or comradery.

Serenity didn't know why. Shi couldn't explain it to anyone, or even to hirself. Shii just knew shi had to be near this Human. Shi had to hold onto him before he slipped away. Shi wasn't going to let him be devoured by the dark thoughts that lingered in his head. Whatever terrors that plagued him, whatever monsters he had faced, shi would be there to help him. He was special to hir. Shi wasn't going to let this opportunity pass by.

Shi quickly said, “I'll walk him to the bus stop. I'll be right back." Shi guided him to the front door. Within a minute, they were at the bus stop. From here, he could get to the regional tram and go wherever home was for him. They didn't say a word during the walk, not until they had reached the stop.

There, he asked, “Why do you care so much?" He couldn't help himself. The darkness had encroached on his mind so much. That bright spot he once had went dim and was growing dimmer. He tried to grasp onto whatever happiness he had left, but it fled like the wind.

“Because you are my friend. I like having you around, but this negativity on your shoulders is killing you. I want to take some of that burden off you. Will you let me shoulder it beside you?" Travis felt the beginning of tears start to form. He wanted to believe hir, he really did. He wanted to take hir at hir word and trust that shi did care. “You don't trust me." It wasn't a question. Shi was an empath, of course shi could feel his misgivings. He shied away, feeling exposed and self-conscious. He turned to face away so shi couldn't see his fears and insecurities.

“I want to. Deities, I want so badly to believe you, Serenity. My brain just won't let me." He could feel hir disappointment, which hurt him even more. If there was one thing he hated more than his own shortcomings was being a disappointment. He had experienced that enough as a kid.

“What do I need to do to show you that I can be trusted? I want to know you, Travis. I don't know why, I don't know how, but I just have this inner feeling that I am supposed to be close to you." He knew what shi was talking about. Ever since they met earlier in the week, they had been drawn together. They had similar interests, they enjoyed the same humor, and they both were happy to spend time. He thought it was too fast, though, for how relationships were supposed to work. He was both longing for and cowering from taking that extra step into a deeper realm.

“I don't know." The tears finally fell. It was overwhelming to know shi was real, and here. Shi was always so confident, supportive, and shi showed that shi liked him.

You know shi could be lying to you. He grabbed his head in frustration and shame. It was happening again. The spiral, the descent into madness, the agony of dashed hopes. That voice was back. You trusted once and look where that led. You are a disappointment, a failure. A MISTAKE!

“Come to my family's place tomorrow. Have dinner with us. I want to show you that I care, Travis."

Everything stopped. Time no longer had any meaning. The setting sun faded away, as did the noise of the city. Shi hugged him from behind, pressing into his back. Hir head rested against his. He could feel the warmth of hir breath on his neck. Hir fur was softly rubbing against him, so tantalizingly soft and smooth. He wished he could spend an eternity warped in hir arms. Shi smelled divine, which is what stopped the oncoming trainwreck about to happen. However, when that scent breached his mind, it also increased something that he hoped shi wouldn't catch. Too many sensations had assaulted him, and it was making things happen.

“I, uh…." His words failed him. His brain was turning to mush. The darkness was trying to reassert itself but was losing ground. His mental resolve was crumbling, and he was letting it happen without a fight. What was wrong with him?

Shi turned him around, which brought them face to muzzle. His brown eyes locked onto hirs. It was plainly visible that shi wanted him to be there. He could also see hints of hir desire of a carnal sort, which took him completely off guard. He felt his pants tighten and looked away in shame. He was about to step away when hir grip tightened on him.

“Don't turn away from me. I can feel you; you know. I can see you want this. You want intimacy. Affection. Love. That is nothing to be ashamed about. I relish that you not only find me desirable but also that I, as a whole being, entice you. You do the same to me." He shuddered in perverse pleasure. Why was he fighting this, again?

Because you know what would happen. The minute shi learns what you have done, shi will leave you. Instead of listening, he clung to hir. Shi nuzzled into him, sending lightning bolts up and down his spine.

His whole body got a tingling feeling when shi whispered into his ear, “Please, Travis? My family would welcome you with open arms. Will you join us?" He couldn't resist anymore. He wanted to, but this angelic being that held him broke some barrier in his head.

The words came rushing out, “Yes, I will. I'll be there." The instant he agreed, shi licked-kissed him on the cheek, causing a blush to form. Shi giggled at his response, wearing that grin only a feline could wear.

“Thank you, Travis. I promise you won't regret it. You have your PADD?" He nodded wordlessly before bringing it up. “Perfect!" Shi grabbed hir own and input his information. Immediately, his PADD had hir personal contact number and address added to his contacts. “Dinner starts around fourteen-fifty, so be in the neighborhood around fourteen hundred."

“I'll be there," he said with a squeak. He coughed before trying again. “I'll be there. Should I bring anything?"

“Nope, just yourself! I have to get back and pay my bill. I'll see you tomorrow."

“Yeah, uh, see you then."

“Oh, I can't wait. Have a good night, Travis. Tail High!" Shi turned back for the pub. In so doing, shi gave him quite a show as shi seductively sauntered down the sidewalk. With a final glance, shi winked at him. His blush now extended the entirety of his face down to his chest.

Did I just have a glance at heaven? Shi continued to walk away, leaving Travis flustered and excited. Shi's a Chakat, retard. Or did you forget they are always more affectionate? The joy he had been experiencing went up in flames. He was brought low, snapped back to reality. The sting was lessened by the remaining feeling of hir want and desire, of hir care and affection. Even as his mind caught up with his insecurities, a small piece of him was holding out hope that shi meant what shi said.

Did shi mean it, though, his mind told him. Of course, lying would serve no purpose for hir. Shi didn't seem the type to manipulate people in any way, other than to push for them to be the best they could be. Shi wouldn't rip the floor out from underneath him, would shi? Shi was kind and gentle. Shi was the furthest thing from cruel, even when shi was correcting others. There was no reason nor precedent for hir to use his emotion against him.

His mind was back to spiraling with itself, causing a migraine to form. By the time the bus arrived, he was on autopilot. During the ride, the other passengers noticed the distracted Human, and most were fine leaving him be. He was fine with that. Some of those who could did give him encouragement, which strengthened his resolve. His mind started to stabilize and balance itself. When he transferred to the train, he was back into a full and happy groove. When his insecurities tried to rear up, he reminded himself of what he'd been given since coming here.

His neighbors felt him long before they saw him. His happiness was like a beacon bright enough to blind. Some of the stronger empaths nearby could tell it was forced, but only slightly. It was still real, and infectious to everyone that felt it. As he walked the path to his condo, he passed a few of his neighbors, greeting them cordially. They were slightly taken aback by his change but greeted him with the same enthusiasm. He felt like a new man with a high that would never end.

He wanted to play his pass for a while before bed. Then a thought struck him like a ton of bricks. Why not make a song for Serenity? He quickly got his recording set up operational and sat down. With pen and paper on the side, he started to come up with a tune. He wanted something that fit hir, that was confident and gentle like shi was. He also felt that adding a hint of subtlety to it would heighten the effect shi had on him. Long into the night, he played, experimented, and wrote down a song that he felt would be just perfect for hir. Unfortunately, he didn't finish it that night, but he had a good start. He would return to it in the morning.

That night he went to bed with a smile on his face. Maybe he wasn't a disappointment after all…

---

On the other side of Amistad, Serenity also went to bed with a grin. Cuddled up with hir denmate hir arms, hir mind went to tomorrow. Shi had already cleared it with hir family, and they were ecstatic to have him. Hir hearts were beating fast and hir mind raced. Tomorrow would either make or break him. Shi had to make sure it went well. Not only for his sake but for hir family. They loved being hosts and would be discouraged if Travis didn't enjoy himself with them. Everything was going well in hir eyes, but shi kept feeling like shi was missing something. Shi couldn't pinpoint it, but it had to do with something Travis said today. Shi put it out of hir mind for now and snuggled into hir mate. Sequoia let out a loving sigh and buried hir head further under Serenity's chin. Serenity just closed hir eyes and soaked in the warmth of family. Shi fell asleep that night with a smile.