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It had been two months since she had finally been well enough to leave the hospital, and to First of Dusk it felt like only yesterday when he had first been admitted. But Nightsail hadn't been the same since. The scars were deeper than those her body now carried, one that still burned in her heart, painful and fresh. He could see it in her face every day, in the weakness of her body and her now languid movements. The cancer had stolen her strength for months before, but even now that it was gone it had stolen still more from her.

While she had never talked about wanting children, the choice had been taken from her far too early. She was only seventeen, after all. Too early to think about if and when and with who. But too early to have that decision made for her. The surgery had removed both of her ovaries. The cancer had spread too far. There had been no way to save her fertility, and more than that she found her puberty now stalled after the radiation and surgery had destroyed her body's hormones, forcing her to take daily medication to try and ensure she developed properly. That had taken something from her on a deeper level than just flesh.

Her family, First of Dusk knew, was all about lineage. Five generations of unhorned noaians, only marrying within their own kind. The pureblood movement was a fringe group of their culture, those who advocated only breeding with other Noaians and refusing to mix blood with other races who resided in the homeland. Nightsail's family had advocated even further the pureness of the unhorned Noaians, those who possessed respect for their rarity and the importance of their presence in the shamanistic and tribal past of their people. The days of the unhorned being seen as blessed by the spirits to commune with the spiritual world and advise the people were long over, ended by the growing trade and contact with the outside world over five hundred years ago. But her family held to the belief of superiority of their kind, an ironic twisting of the old ways in which they had served the tribes for the betterment of everyone.

And now her family mourned the loss of her ability to continue that pure lineage. Not the daughter who had been stricken with a sickness that had held her life hostage for three months, but the future children she would give their people. The chance to continue their pure bloodline. She had been their pride. Her younger brother was no hope for them, for he had been born horned, as were most of their kind, and therefore worthless to them for continuing the unbroken unhorned lineage. The chances of two unhorned Noaia producing a horned child were low, but not so low as to be particularly rare.

'I wonder if they would treat her any better or worse than him?" First of Dusk thought to himself. The snow had been cleared from the country road that led to her home, and his breath played in the air as puffs of white as he walked.

'She almost died. It could come back. I could lose her. My friend...more than my friend.' That thought drove him to this. What he was about to do when he reached the end of this path and stood before her home. He couldn't delay anymore, he couldn't bear to.

Her father had forever hidden his dislike of First of Dusk behind a mask of cold civility. Maybe if the two weren't so close he wouldn't care. But they spent nearly every day together, and to her father that was too much time spent around someone of thin blood. His family had been pure blooded unhorned Noaia for five generations, spanning back nearly four hundred years, the main line of it anyway. First of Dusk was only pure blooded by one generation. His mother and father were horned noaians, while his grandmother on his mother's side had been a feline, and on his father's side his grandfather had been draconic. He had aunts and uncles who were felines, canines, vulpines, and more. Unlike Nightsail, his parents were the only Noaian couple in his extended family. That was more than enough for Nightsail's father to make him see First of Dusk as unworthy of being so close to his daughter

He passed through the wooden gate set into the old waist high stone and mortar wall that surrounded the wooden house, two stories, its roof tiled with faded red clay. The walls stained a dark brown from decades of oil coatings to keep the weather at bay, windows rimmed in old wrought iron, decorative patterns adorning the tops of them.

He picked up the heavy iron ring knocker on the door and let it drop three times. The door soon opened to reveal Nightsail's father, a lean man in his forties with green within black eyes. He was unhorned, like his wife and daughter, his face lined around the mouth and cheeks, with shoulder length black hair, pulled back and worn in a traditional braided style. His mouth turned down a fraction when he saw First of Dusk standing there.

"Aurequinaci isn't home, and I'm surprised she isn't with you." He said, using her Noaian name and speaking the language with perfect fluency, his last words edged with mildly hidden displeasure.

Nightsail and First of Dusk tended more towards the english translations of their names, as rough as they were, to make it easier for those on the islands who didn't speak the native language. Although they used their true names between each other during moments of closeness. It felt special. But right now, it only felt like he was being interrogated already.

"I know. I came to speak to you, Yimiq, sir." First of Dusk responded. Her father made no motion to move from the door, and instead simply tilted his head in acknowledgement.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I..." First of Dusk hesitated. Was this the right time? Could he actually dare ask for it now?

'If you don't, you may never get the chance.' he thought, and the resolve of that steeled him.

"I want to ask for a union with your daughter." He said. It was traditional. Not a modern practice by far, but he hoped Yimiq would see he knew the importance of it to their kind. A union before a full marriage to allow for the couple to see whether a life commitment was what they wanted, or whether they only wished to be together for a time. They could last over a decade sometimes, a tradition from the times when open polyamory was common within the tribes. "With your permission, I would court Aurequinaci."

"As if you haven't done enough of that already." Her father spat, the words coming out as if he'd spit out sour bile. "The way she's so infatuated with being around you...you've practically stolen her away from where she belongs."

Yimiq fixed First of Dusk with a stare of utter contempt no longer masked by any semblance of civility. First of Dusk stood his ground and made no answer to the accusation.

"You come here and ask me for a union between the two of you? After everything she's been through?" He growled.

"It's because of everything she's been through." First of Dusk interrupted, the anxiety rising in his chest. "She's broken up after being ill for so long, and losing so much. I want to help her and-"

"And you want to comfort her from her pain? How? Fuck her in the forest when you're both off camping, like she's a common whore?" He shouted. "She's lost all hope for her future and you want to take even more away from her?"

"She's still everything she was!" First of Dusk shouted back, the anger rising hot up his neck. "I love her and that hasn't changed, and she-"

"She what? She's already told you the same? Have you dug your claws that far into her?" Yimiq had stepped forward now, face contorted in rage. "You don't even deserve to look at Aurequinaci! She will never be bound to a mongrel so far below her, not ever!"

"Is your blood all you care about?" Dusk stepped forward to match the older man, fists balled, feeling an anger he had felt few times ever before. "She's your daughter! Let her live how she likes!"

"Your kind don't know the first thing about blood. And you've made her forget our ways, made her think cavorting with filth befits her." Yimiq spat. "I tolerated you because she seemed happy, and I thought she would grow out of her infatuation, see the point of why we don't mix with your kind. Now I can see that I was too soft."

"Do you even care about what she wants? Do you even-"

"Be quiet! Get out, and stay away from my daughter! If you come back here again there's going to be hell for you to pay!" He yelled, shoving First of Dusk back. "Aurequinaci is banned from seeing you, ever. From now on she'll learn how to respect our bloodline...without you trying to sully it."

First of Dusk would have pushed it further, but held himself back and bit his tongue. This wasn't going to change no matter what he did, and it wouldn't do any good for Nightsail if he swung at her father. Instead he turned and stalked to the gate, slamming it open and breaking into a run as he found himself on the country road yet again. The anger swelled so strongly within him that he felt it escaping his hot tears that stung his face in the frosty air of the morning, freezing into shimmering crystals and dropping to the dirt below.

---

Nightsail returned home in the late afternoon, as the sun was dropping low and casting its red light over the scattered clouds. Walking these days was still hard, and she felt each step was ten pounds heavier than it should be. But walked because it kept her from sitting down and not wanting to stand back up. Even if the journey to the local library and back was several miles, she walked with a bag of books, each step keeping her going.

She hadn't seen First of Dusk at all today, and he hadn't answered her calls. Maybe he was growing tired of how little she could do these days. Her body still ached, a dull pain all over that even the cocktail of pills she took morning and night didn't ever truly treat. The pains of a body ravaged by chemotherapy and now hormone replacement just so her puberty wouldn't stall midway, although it may be too late for that anyway. The painkillers she took barely touched the deeper pain in her bones and muscles. They only made it possible to ignore the surface pains and discomfort. Sometimes she forgot to take them, but noticed nothing. Because she had become used to the pain as it came and went over the days.

Past the physical, she felt so tired. Her whole life she had lived with the knowledge that her people, the Noaia, were dying out. First of Dusk managed to ignore it somehow, and many others paid no mind to their dwindling numbers over the decades. But her family had known intimately that their mixing with other races meant that fewer and fewer of their kind were being born, and with the inability to form hybrids, the chances of a Noaian being born from that mixed union was only one in ten. The thought of her being able to one day bring another of her people into the world, starve the slow death of their kind for a while, gave her comfort. Now there was only dread, and deep sadness. She would never hold a child in her arms and call them her own, and she would never know the love of another who wished for that.

Perhaps First of Dusk had known that, she thought. The thoughts were so unreal, and she knew he wouldn't abandon her over that, but darker thoughts assailed her mind and asked her what if it was true? What if it came true later on? Would she lose the only friend she felt understood her completely? They rose up to latch onto her, dragging the darkness along the corners of her mind.

'Hopeless' she thought. 'I can't stand how hopeless I am...'

The walk ended too soon for her liking, even if the pain in her limbs demanded she lie down and rest. She opened the door to her family home, and at the stairs began the climb to her room.

She was stopped before she took a step by a curt call from her mother. Turning, she saw her parents standing in the threshold of the living room. Her father lean and stern as usual, and her mother demure with her long black free flowing hair and shorter, rounder form, but standing with a firm conviction that told Nightsail that she'd made her mind up about something.

"Aurequinaci. Your father is concerned about your future." Her mother began. "After your illness, we think that you need to begin considering your potential for our name."

"You've been influenced by that friend of yours, and now act as if you can live without regard to the consequences of your actions." Her father said curtly.

"What do you mean, dad?" She asked, fatigue evident in her voice.

"Spending weeks away with that boy, First of Dusk, camping in the middle of the forest or staying out late, returning far into the night." He answered. "He's been making you forget the importance of keeping our bloodline pure, keeping our people alive and upholding tradition."

"Aurequinaci, did you have sex with that boy?" Her mother asked, tone sharp, disapproving.

Nightsail's mouth opened and closed several times, the sudden question catching her in a stupor. Before she could answer, her father cut in once more.

"Did you go to bed and sully our name with common filth?" He growled, always more straightforward than her mother had been.

"No! What the fuck, dad?" She stuttered.

"You went away for weeks alone with him, sleeping in the same tent, coming home as if everything was fine. Don't lie to us, I can practically smell him on you these days. Did he touch you at all? Did you abandon what we live for, all for some whorish enjoyment?"

"We haven't done anything, what is wrong with you both?" Nightsail yelled.

"You've been spending far too long away from home, and it's been exposing you to all the terrible things we don't want for you." her mother spoke. "From now on you'll have a curfew, and you are not to see that boy again."

"You need to be reminded of what our bloodline means, Aurequinaci." Her father added.

"And what about what I want?" She shouted. "Why do you care if he's around so much? What does blood have to do with any of this?"

"You may have lost the ability to bear children, Aurequinaci, but you will not be seen slutting about with mongrels and acting as if your family means nothing to you." Her father commanded, his words harsh, driving a dagger right into that point where she still ached in her heart. "You will still keep our name and our blood, and you will treat them with the respect they deserve."

"Besides darling, there's always IVF treatments, and there have been amazing embryo transplant procedures being tested-" Her mother began, the look of horror that was spreading over Nightsail's face lost to her.

"Am I just a fucking womb to you?" She shouted at her mother. "Is that all I was? Now you're trying to make sure that's still all I am?'

"You are a daughter of one of the most esteemed bloodlines of our people! Your ancestors knew that this is the way we must live to be an example to the rest!" Her father yelled back.

"And what if I don't want to live anymore anyway?" She shrieked, the words coming out as a sob wracked her throat. "If that was all I am to your world?"

"Darling, be reasonable, we only want the best for you..." her mother pleaded, tone now gentle as if to comfort her..

"You don't care about what's best for me! Only what works for you." She cried, her knees threatening to give out under a mixture of anger, hurt, and bone deep pain. "You want to look good in front of the council and all your friends, like you're the perfect example of how to live!

"Our decision is made!" Her father yelled, slamming a hand into the doorframe with a resounding crack. "You will not see that mongrel again! You will not leave the house after dark, and your room is to be locked at night until you can learn to respect your own bloodline!"

Antonia didn't bother to answer him, grabbing the banister and hauling herself up the stairs to her room, even as her legs shook and failed to lift properly. She pulled herself as she sobbed, stumbling through the pain to finally collapse on the floor of her room, atop the rug that adorned the wooden floor.

Her father's yelling carried up the stairs from outside, but she heard none of it. Her body lanced through with pain, she could do nothing but cry and scream, until even the effort of maintaining that release of emotion was too much. She lay there, silent save for soft pathetic gasps through tears.

'So tired...' she thought, the world dimming around her as she lost focus. 'I can't fight it anymore'

---

Sleep did not come for her, even after she found her way onto the bed as her strength came back to her. She lay with her back propped up against the headboard, looking out into the darkness of her room. Her eyes had adjusted perfectly, night vision showing the room in a washed out and flat tone, even without moonlight to assist her. Her chest felt hollow, like there was something not there that had dropped away. Lost. Far away now. The pain in her throat was dull, but the tears had long dried up, yet it did not abate.

Even if she wanted to leave, to get up and walk out into the night, she didn't have the will to fight anymore. She knew it wouldn't have helped if she had. Her room door had been locked from the outside, and her window was now locked shut as well, the key with her father. The silence only reminded her of how alone she felt, not even the night birds of the forest singing softly overhead there to keep her company.

The pain came in waves, waxing and waning through her limbs, her head pounding before settling into calm once more. She doubted she could sleep at all.

'Is this why I survived?' she wondered 'All for a world where I can't move without pain, expected to share an obsession with blood, bare children all for the honor of my name?'

The thoughts ate at her, and she couldn't make them stop.

'I should have died, and been spared this...'

A tapping registered in his ears, taking several seconds before her tortured mind could comrpehend the sound. She looked over to where it came from.

'The window...' Nightsail thought, seeing only a blur beyond the glass as her eyes adjusted and her mind attempted to understand. The shapes resolved into two people, glowing eyes looking into her room. One set green, one set a warm gold.

'Dawning Flint, My brother....and First of Dusk?' she thought, swinging her legs slowly over the edge of the bed. She stood, the pain only a mild hindrance at this point. She padded to the window, and they became clear through the glass. Those glowing golden eyes held hers, while the green pair focused on the lower part of the window frame.

With a sudden and muffled crunch the lower wooden frame splintered and the window swung open. First of Dusk leaned himself in, eyes alight with concern.

"Nightsail, we're getting you out." He whispered. Her brother crouched behind him on the roof, looking back and forth along the rest of the house.

"Out...but where? First...where am I going to go?" She whispered, voice hoarse from the crying.

"Far into the forest with me, where you can get away from your parents." He told her, stepping into her room, feet touching the floor so gently as to not make a sound. He quickly threw his arms around her, and she felt him trembling. "I've got a tent and enough supplies for a week, I can get more and..."

His voice dropped off, and he drew a shuddering breath, as if holding something back.

"Why? How did you know?" She asked, arms sliding up his back as she held him tight.

"Your brother told me what had happened...he helped me get here, break the lock...to get you out." First of Dusk said.

She looked over to her younger brother, who nodded, black hair falling freely from a braid over one shoulder, horns jutting from his forehead and curled back over his head. The thing which had made him little more than an adopted child to her parents, not worth pursuing further than a cursory care when he couldn't continue their pure bloodline. But to her, he had always been her warm-hearted brother. He never yelled like her father did, he always was there to help others. And he was always just as important to her as First of Dusk had been.

"We don't want to be here too long. Grab your things, the most important ones. Dawning Flint can get the rest later." First of Dusk told her, and then after a moment he quietly added. "Please. I can't leave you here."

The plea he made was so honest that she couldn't stand to hesitate. She crossed to her wardrobe and opened it, grabbing a bag and stuffing in her clothing, anything practical that would work for a few days. She grabbed her medications, her phone, her shoes, and then the fur blanket on her bed and bundled it under her arm. First of Dusk helped her up through the window as soon as she approached, setting her down on the tiles gently.

The night air hit her, and the clean chill of the moonless night bit into something within her. She was worth this risk to him, and to her brother. The wrath of her father, and maybe worse. They'd come for her, even if she'd given up. She held onto First of Dusk's hand as they stood balanced low on the rooftop.

"I didn't think I'd see you ever again..." She whispered, her voice hitching. She thought she'd cried away every tear she had, but now they welled in her eyes, her throat tight.

"Nightsail. I don't think I could live with myself if I left you alone here..." He gently told her, and squeezed her hand. She choked back a sob, and let herself be led to the edge of the roof where a ladder had been leaned up against the wall furthest from her parents bedroom.

They swiftly descended, but her brother did not follow.

"Aurequinaci." he called down to her, voice hushed. She looked back up at him, and saw the way he tried to hide his own tears. But unlike her own, they were born of happiness. Relief. "Don't come back. You deserve better than this place. Thank you for being my sister. I love you."

"Goodbye, Kannmakuya" She said, using his true name. Her voice still shuddered with the turmoil of emotion. "I love you, make sure to grow up kind and happy. Be whoever you want to be...don't let father and mother break your spirit."

Kannmakuya nodded and turned to First of Dusk, who gave him a nod.

"I promise I'll keep her safe." He told him, in a tone that brooked little argument. "Swear on the mother of night and all of her children."

Kannumakuya knew the significance of those words, and First of Dusk did as well. They had always been entranced by their own culture long lost to time. And unlike her father they saw the truth of the old ways of their kind.

"Thank you, Ci toa unalaita" he said back, acknowledging his name as he did his sister, and then gestured at them both to go quickly.

First of Dusk took Nightsail's hand, and the two of them fled into the night, far and away from the old house where the ideals of blood and purity no longer held their prisoner.

---

The conical tent they shared was only just big enough for the two of them, but it was a place they knew well from having spent weeks away in the forest so often, the leather of it soaked in the smell of tanning oils and woodsmoke. The scent comforted them both, and for the first night they slept soundly. Their escape had taken more out of them than they had thought possible, away from Nightsail's home and several miles down the country roads before turning into the forest, following markings First of Dusk had left that took them another three miles into the trees. Even with how he had carried her on his back over the last three miles through the forest they had not expected the weight of their act to exhaust them so. They had not awoken from under the fur blankets until the sun was high into the sky, a gentle snowfall coming with the dawn having dusted their tent with powdery snow. They still wore the same clothing from the night before, now wrinkled from the journey and their quiet night sleeping off the fatigue.

The first day was spent largely in silence. Neither knew what to say. What to do. They busied themselves with the many duties of tending to a campsite that came naturally to them. First of Dusk built their firepit and lined it with stones while she collected fallen wood from around the forest. Both stripped of their old clothing and changed in the tent before they resolved to wash the garments in a nearby spring. First of Dusk had chosen a site near a natural volcanic spring where the water bubbled up from an underground aquifer, heated by the geothermal flows far below. Their clothes soaked in the water and were scrubbed clean. Normally they would have hunted for lunch instead of choosing to simply open a can of prepared food, but Nightsail could not muster the strength to do so. So they simply had to hope that a few traps set might catch a rabbit they could then eat

The warm packaged food cooked in an old iron pot over the fire was welcome enough still, even with how little Nightsail ate these days. First of Dusk encouraged her to eat slowly, over the course of two hours, managing the nausea and cramps her body protested with. He made himself match her pace, no matter his own hunger.

When evening came he lit the fire with a bit of oil and tinder, and the two of them sat watching the flames dance in the dying light. They had no cell phone reception, and she was too weak to walk for long through the woods with him as they usually liked. But as they sat together on a blanket over the snow, she laid her head on his shoulder, and found that she didn't mind at all. If First of Dusk minded he showed no sign of it, instead leaning his head in to rest against her hair. This close to him he smelled of the same leather and spiced oil the tent had been treated with, his old worn out jacket that he still clung to for its comfort warm against her cheek.

"How do you feel?" He asked gently as they sat.

"Tired..." She admitted. "Just tired..."

"That's okay." He let his arm rest on her back, the firm weight a comfort to her.

"Can we go to bed soon? I think the pain is coming back." She asked softly.

He relented, and the two of them let the fire die away as they laid down on the bedroll, pulling the blankets over their bodies, and let sleep take them away together before the pain could hold her back from it.

---

The second day mirrored the first, but Nightsail hardly left their tent. First of Dusk tended the campsite and cooked their meals, stoked the fire and cleared the snow from the sides of their tent. He managed to go out into the forest on his own with the hunting bow he'd brought and catch two rabbits to take back for their dinner. Nightsail wrapped herself in the furs she had taken from her bedroom and sat by the fire as he prepared the rabbits for cooking. Skinned, gutted, and meat cut into portions.

The blood he drained into a bowl in order to make Aakonoruk, to which he added spices, sugar, cocoa and warm water. Their few other friends who were not Noaia had always turned their noses up at the traditional drink, a mixture of fresh warm blood from game sweetened with sugar and spiced. But for their species blood was easily digestible, and in the old days of the tribes no part of a kill was wasted, the blood drunk to warm the hunters from the cold after being flavored with the spices they carried for just such a thing. They had yet to personally know someone of another race who enjoyed it, although some tourists did seem to find the taste agreeable and would partake in it where it was served.

The deep richness of the blood and spices warmed her inside, a small comfort. That was all these days now seemed to be to her. A series of small comforts between bouts of pain, tears, and anguish. First of Dusk kept himself controlled but she could see the emotion churning below the surface. He was trying to be strong for her. She would have laughed at that had she had the will to laugh anymore. She didn't need protecting. He knew that, but even so he was moved to try and do so by the turmoil of the days past. She let him, too tired to protest.

---

On the third night when she lay in the tent, listening to the gentle wind on the leather canvas to distract her from the aches in her joints, First of Dusk crawled in and gestured to her.

"Hey, come on out." He said, crouched in the tent's opening. "Let's go take a dip in the spring."

"It's too far." She protested, feeling the aches in her joints complaining at the very idea of walking.

"I'll carry you, it's only a few minutes away." he told her.

"Why?" She asked, one arm slung over her eyes, hiding the darkened rings from the days of crying.

"It's cold, and the springs are hot, they might help your pain a bit." He told her. He gave a small teasing smile. "And you're kind of starting to smell."

"As if you're any better, you smell like blood and sweat." She gave a dry chuckle, forced, if only to show that she still appreciated his candor.

"So you're agreeing that we both need a bath." He said, crawling further into the tent. "Come on, let's go sit for a while."

"First of Dusk...I'm tired." She sighed, moving her arm to look up at him, glowing green eyes meeting his golden ones. She saw the flickers of worry and desperation there, and it made her chest hurt even more.

"I know. But, just come tonight, please. We won't have to stay long." He whispered. There was that loving voice that she couldn't deny again. He reached out his hand to help her up, and a moment after the gesture she took it, and rose from the bed.

---

Water steamed in the darkness of the night, the white vapor rising and set to glow by the light of the moon. The sky was clear, and so it was even colder than usual. But it also illuminated the springs so that they could see how the water ran from a central pool within a rocky outcrop of the hill, flowing down through a path cut into the land from centuries of erosion, joining the colder rivers far off on their journey to the sea.

First of Dusk set her down from her position on his back, close to the edge of the rocky pool.

"I'll bet you did miss having a hot bath, didn't you?" He said, and turned to remove his jacket. She watched as he did so, and removed her own in turn.

"Fine, I do miss that. Let's change and-" She stopped as she saw him finish removing his shirt and begin on his pants, the underwear beginning to slide down with them.

"Wait, wait, wait, you're going in naked?" She stammered as she looked away. First of Dusk paused to turn to her. At least he'd stopped short of removing it all when he did so.

"It's way colder at night, wet clothes aren't going to be fun walking back in." He said. "Besides, we've seen each other change before."

"Not ever when we got completely naked." She said quickly, glancing back only for a moment before turning her head away again, face flushed in the moonlight.

"I thought you were the daring one. Remember you jumped into that ice pool in only your underwear when you were sixteen? I almost got an eyeful of your breasts that day, if I wasn't trying to avoid getting splashed." He said in that teasing tone he liked to use when she was flustered. "You don't have to look, I'll get in and you can take a dip with your bra and underwear still on. Even with the moon out I doubt you'll see anything through the water..."

She heard his pants slide off and then the padding of his feet to the edge of the rocks, before he eased himself into the water with a hissing breath as the heat prickled through his chilled body. She removed her shirt and pants, and then stood and waited. The wind was biting cold, and the longer she dallied thinking about how cold that wind would be on a water soaked bra the longer she was forced to stand there exposed to the freezing air. She gave a huff and called behind her.

"You're not looking?" She asked.

"I'm not, come on in." He answered.

She unclipped her bra and dropped her underwear to the pile of clothes below, and then turned to hurry into the water. First of Dusk had his back turned to her and was kneeling submerged up to his shoulders in the waters of the spring. The prickling along her skin slowly abated and the heat of the water began to soak into her, drawing her deeper down into the pool to let her shoulders drop below the surface.

Nightsail moved over to where First of Dusk waited and sat there next to him, the two kneeling down and letting the heat of the natural spring warm them against the coldness of the night. Her joints ached only faintly now, and with each minute the heat seemed to sap away the fatigue and pain, leaving only a contented laziness in her muscles. She was still tired, but she felt less like it was trying to pull her down, and more like it was gently coaxing her to a welcome sleep.

In her relaxation she fell back from her kneeling position and splashed into the water, buttocks hitting the stony floor and half her face dropping below before First of Dusk reached down and pulled her back up. His hands wound around her middle and slid up as they pulled her back, the motion sliding them over her bare breasts before she felt him quickly move them under her arms with an alarmed jerk.

"Let's not drown tonight." He smiled, although his face was clearly a little flushed and he avoided looking anywhere near where he'd touched. He pulled her to the side of the pool and set them both laying back against the rocks of the shore.

"Thank you." She said after a moment of silence between them. "I feel better..."

The moonlight reflected over the rippling surface of the pool, beams of white playing through the rising steam. She looked over at him, and he was right. She couldn't see anything below a small bit of his chest below the water. Maybe he could see more of her chest, but she found herself not caring. The idea of being exposed embarrassed her, but he kept his gaze high and avoided looking anywhere he might catch such a glimpse.

'Always trying to be a sweetheart' she thought. 'Even now when you've got a sad girl next to you and naked as you are. I doubt father could see that much good in anyone.'

"As long as it doesn't hurt anymore." He said, shoulder pressed against her own. Warm. Soft.

"Not in my body..." she sighed. "Just everywhere else in me."

""Nightsail..." He breathed, trying to find where to go with that. She had never been one who needed to be comforted before, not past a bit of teasing encouragement. But now he felt lost in trying to find the words to say to her.

"I hate these scars." She muttered, hands drawing over the scarring under her stomach, inches below her bellybutton. The tissue was still freshly healed, and the deep purple of her skin was cut through with a lighter, jagged streak. "It's all my parents saw after I came home. And everyone keeps telling me how terrible it must have been."

"It was terrible. Watching you in the hospital." First of Dusk said slowly, voice low. "I thought you might die."

"Maybe I wanted to." She admitted, the pain in her joints now no longer a distraction to the torment in her mind. "I've lost everything they loved about me, and...I've lost the chance to ever give something back to the world."

"You're more than just what you can give back." he responded, and she gave a bitter laugh that cut at him.

"I'm just going to die without ever knowing our people had another chance to live on, sure, that's not a big deal." She hissed, feeling her throat tighten. "And who would want that anyway?"

"Our whole people aren't your responsibility." He told her, reaching out a hand to touch her shoulder. She rolled it away with a jerk.

"It was all I knew. We're all dying, only sixty thousand of us left in the world. Do you even know how little that is? We had more of our kind before we even left the homeland hundreds of years ago." She said, "Each of us has to do something, at least try to buy some time."

"There's plenty of other ways we can keep surviving. Not every one of us has to have kids with another one, there's lots of medical treatments-"

"You sound like my mother!" She yelled suddenly, standing and stalking deeper into the pool, exposing her back to him. She shivered, the cold secondary to the anger rising in her chest.

"That was all she could think about, how to fix me. I don't want to be fixed! I..." She choked back a wet sob, swallowing it down before it could escape. "I'm just a girl stuck in a teenager's body now, I have to take hormones just so I might grow a little more and maybe have a chance at looking like I should. I'll never really be who I was supposed to be. To anyone."

"You're fine the way you are, you don't have to try and be who someone else wants you to be." he said shakily before she whirled on him.

"Who would ever want me when I can't even be the person that I want to be!" She screamed, the moonlight illuminating a face twisted with pain and anger.

"I would, Dammit! I love you!" First of Dusk shouted back, suddenly standing, the water thrown up around him as his infuriated words echoed through the forest. All went silent for a dozen heartbeats. He collapsed back down to his knees in the water, face bunched up in an expression of anger and anguish.

"Fuck..." he hissed, standing again and moving towards her in the water. She stiffened as he approached, unable to respond. "I want you, Nightsail..."

She took a step back, and her anger that held her strength fled her at his words.

"Why? Why would you want this?" She softly cried. She looked down at herself, naked and exposed in the light before him. Every part of her bared for him to see for the first time. She felt so worthless just standing there, breasts barely big enough to fill the bras she wore, scar running under her navel, hairless between her legs. She found herself hoping he'd turn away, disgusted with her, and this would all be over.

But he only stepped closer and raised his hands to hold her face, fingers brushing the tears she'd not realized ran cold down her cheeks.

"Because this girl in front of me is everything I love about the world." His voice quavered, and she saw his own tears now rolling down the sides of his face. "You've never looked more beautiful than tonight, because I can still see every bit of what I love. Every part of your body that makes me want to kiss you...just like the way you kissed me, months ago..."

Her breath hitched, remembering the first kiss they'd shared, almost forgotten with how long ago it felt. It had been a spontaneous thing, when they'd fallen over fighting in the snow, playfully grabbing and throwing each other through fits of laughter. She had ended up on top of him, the two breathing heavily, so close to each other. She'd looked into his eyes, and in that moment with their blood running hot and hearts pounding, she had kissed him. A deep, passionate kiss, shocking him into silence as their lips met. He had kissed her back. And for several long seconds they held each other in that embrace before separating, panting and out of breath. Their faces burned in the cold, and for several moments neither knew what to say. First of Dusk had only managed to breathe out a whispered "wow", before Nightsail had given a light laugh and pulled him up.

The two hadn't spoken of it since that day. Maybe they might have done so had she not fallen ill so soon after, body weakening slowly over the weeks until she had collapsed on her way to class. Her diagnosis and her months of futile radiation therapy had stolen away any urgency to address it. Another thing it had taken from her.

'And now he's standing here.' she thought. 'Telling me everything I wanted to hear.'

"But I'm not who I was back then." She sobbed, giving voice to her thoughts

"I still want you. I've never wanted anyone more in my life." He whispered, as if he couldn't bear to hear any more. "I can't imagine a world with you gone."

Tears fell freely and her eyes closed, blinking them away as she reached up to rub at her eyes. She hated crying in front of him. Sobs wracked her chest. She heaved in chilling breaths as she leaned into him. He pulled her close and placed her head on his shoulder, shivering in the freezing night air. She felt the warmth of his body, and he basked in hers.

When she felt the sobs dying off she looked up at him. He gazed into her, and she saw the longing in his eyes. There was nothing but desire for her. No anger. No disgust. Just her, there in his eyes.

This time he took the lead.

He leaned in and kissed her, deep and passionate. Her lips parted, knowing she wanted this just as much as he did, and they held each other close in the steam rising around them. She closed her eyes and he followed, lost in the feeling of their bodies pressed together. She wondered if his skin had always felt this warm. It felt comforting, and honest..

To First of Dusk the taste of her was like fire. It burned him, consumed every part of his mind and heart. He would let himself stay here and give her everything he was. Right now, she was his all consuming light and flame in the darkness of the night. If he burned to take away the pain of her world he wouldn't fight it at all. She was welcome to all of him. She always had been.

Nightsail let out gentle moans into the kiss as it drew out longer and longer. The cold around them only made her press herself harder to him, feeling his body more intimately than she had known ever before. She pushed into him further, and suddenly found herself falling along with him into the hot pool as he slipped backwards. He caught her and they surfaced half a second later.

She laughed. For the first time in what felt like ages she laughed, and he laughed too. They were twisted together, kneeling in the water once more, and she kissed him. Over and over, she kissed him. Her hands ran along his body and she welcomed his own. He kneaded her breasts gently, trailed his claws down her back as she shivered in the passionate embrace. She felt all along his shoulders, down his sides, even down between his legs where she found him hard. She couldn't see through the water, and she was too busy to stop. But she knew he felt big, although she really had nothing to compare it to.

Her thoughts were interrupted by his lips kissing along her neck, finding how sensitive she was there when she arched her chest towards him and gasped into the chill air. His hands moved lower, exploring every new place he had never known of her.

He stopped when he reached the scar under her navel.

'Its that, isn't it?' she thought, waiting for him to pull away. 'He can't love a girl with that...'

She gasped when she felt him lift her, thrusting her body up into the night air to stand while he knelt below her. He kissed that scar, and looked up at her. His hands held her sides and she saw him kiss each and every inch of it, as if he could heal it. He couldn't. But he tried. He loved her enough to try.

He rested his forehead against her stomach, breath hot on her skin.

"I love you so much, Aurequinaci." He spoke so tenderly. "Don't cry, please. Don't hate yourself for this."

Her heart ached at the sight of him. Knelt down as if he was the one who needed to hide away, not her. She reached down, hands running over his horns, down to the sides of his face.

"Not for you, Ci toa unalaita." She whispered. "I won't hate myself, for you."

She guided him back up, and he held her close. His hand remained on that scar, and she reached down to cover it with her own.

When she kissed him once more her hand drew lower, and she stroked fingers over the hard shaft that pressed just down between her legs. He let out a gasping hiss into the kiss, and shuddered.

"I want you." He pleaded as he broke from the kiss. "I need you."

"I want you, too." She breathed, her body pressed up against his and grinding gently.

"Let's go back, the tent...where it's...warmer." He panted, struggling to will himself to break from this heated embrace. He knew they couldn't stay here in the cold with what they sought from each other.

The two of them moved to the edge of the pool, and hauled themselves out. They dressed quickly, and ran through the snow covered ground, the chill doing nothing to dull their desire. Nightsail almost screamed as First of Dusk picked her up mid stride and ran the rest of the way back to the campsite, laughing out as he carried her as if his life depended on getting her there.

In the tent she crawled onto the bedroll, and her clothes came off quickly. Her heart was racing, and she felt the anxiety in her chest. She wanted this, and he stripped off just as eagerly, but she felt that excitement mixed with the fear of something so new between them. He was on top of her by the time her bra had come off, and he was still in his underwear just as she was. He couldn't wait to kiss her again, and she put her arms around him as her lips met his.

She ground her hips up against his hand, feeling the heat between her legs. She'd rarely indulged in masturbation, even when she'd felt the urges to touch herself she never went all the way. It felt good, but she found it hard to fantasize about anything relevant to her. And when her mind wandered to him, thinking of kissing him and hearing his voice, she couldn't bring herself to continue. The thought of herself getting off to those fantasies of his lips on hers and his gentle words tickling in her ear was just too embarrassing. But now she felt his hand slip between her legs and press against the fabric there, where she'd never let anyone else even see, it was real. It was no longer a fantasy, and so she welcomed the feeling.

Her moan was like music to him. His body flushed with heat as he heard her gasp and groan. He felt the heat there, and watched her face as pleasure played across her features.

"First-...wait...wait." She panted, gasping out as he paused in his ministrations, forcing her breath to slow.

"I don't want this to change us..." she whispered to him. "I want you. I don't want this to make things awkward or..."

First of Dusk leaned forward and kissed her forehead tenderly.

"There's nothing to change, Nightsail. I've felt this for so long. Now you'll just see how much I longed for it..." He told her. She smiled, and closed her eyes as she ground her hips up to press his hand back where it had been between her legs.

"Thank you." She whispered, letting the pleasure return as he gently rubbed her through the last bit of fabric that covered her. Her hands ran down his front, before falling to her waist where she pulled her underwear down. He finished the job for her, and her hands went to his own, tugging at the waistband.

"Off." She panted, voice needy, feeling a desire she'd not known before to see him naked before her.

He kneeled and pulled them off, exposing the one part of him she'd never seen, and that she'd been too embarrassed to think about.

"What...what the fuck?" She gasped, eyes now wide. "How...First of Dusk, how the...why is it so fucking big?"

She'd felt him in the water, and she'd thought he was big then. Now that she saw it in the lamplight it was almost as thick as her own wrist and looked to be near a foot long. First of Dusk looked down awkwardly and stammered out a reply.

"Is it? I...Um..." he gulped and gave a weak shrug. "Nightsail, I've never done this, I guess I thought it...I figured it was normal?"

They were silent for several long, tense moments. And then she smiled, and her voice broke into breathless laughter.

"You could use it like a rolling pin." She said, blush spread over her cheeks as she half covered her face, giggling loudly. "It's...Oh, First of Dusk, it's like-"

"Like a war club? Bet I could hunt caribou with it?" His lips parted into a genuine smile, and she laughed with him as she tried to picture that.

"I didn't expect..." She tried to control her giggles, shaking her head. "I've never seen one except...in some books and magazines."

"So are you going to start taking notes now?" He grinned. "So maybe you don't forget what it is actually like?"

"I don't think they're all like this." She giggled, crawling over to him and rubbing her cheek against his. "But really, I want you...it's my first time as well. I just don't know if it'll fit..."

Her hand reached down and she ran her fingers along that unbelievably long shaft, making him shiver so pleasantly under her gaze.

"I can try to make sure you're ready for it." He groaned, words coming out in short breaths. "If you still want it."

"I do." She whispered, wrapping her fingers around him, stroking slowly

He guided her back onto the bedroll and laid her down on the furs that covered it. They were soft against her skin as he reached down once more. Fingers touched her bare sex, before sliding along her folds. She shivered as he worked, moaning as he explored that intimate part of her. He was clumsy, sometimes pushing too hard, sometimes not enough, and she tried to guide him with her hips.

But she was just as new to this, and her movements just as often made his fingers slip out or find the wrong spots. They were forced to learn how to move by watching how each motion made them react. His fingers buried themselves in her, starting with just one. He was slow, and the feeling was new, so intense that she had to stop him several times just to catch her breath. She felt another slide into her, and the sensations only grew more intense as he thrust slowly, trying to find the spots that had made her grip the blanket and beg him for more, working into them again and again. His hand was wet with her arousal, and his cock painfully hard. But he let her writhe under him for a while longer before he withdrew those soaked fingers. She sighed, body tingling all over.

He lowered his head down between her legs and she felt his breath hot against her labia, drawing another gasp from her. She looked down and saw him lying with his mouth inches from her sex.

"Nightsail, can I..." He trailed off, looking embarrassed to ask for what he wanted to do to her here. There was some primal urge that made him want to taste her, the scent of her body bringing it out so strongly that he pressed his nose up against her clit, taking in the rich pheromones. She watched his body shudder in anticipation of tasting her, spine bowing and body curled in need.

"Yes. Please." She groaned. She felt tortured with all this waiting for him, wishing she could take him into her right now, but those fantasies of his tongue playing over her body were just as tempting.

He ran his tongue from base to tip, heat lancing through her folds. She shuddered at the sensation, covering her face as she moaned out.

"Oh gods." Her voice came out muffled as she held a hand to her mouth. She'd not thought about how his tongue, like her own, was extremely long. Thirteen inches of it sliding along her sex, it had slipped her mind in the moment that their kind was possessed of such a thing.

He didn't stop to give her time for more thought. He tasted her, and each time he breathed the scent of her body spread more intoxicating warmth through his body. Her thighs closed around his head as he worked his tongue into her. Her body spasmed and moans came in broken waves when she felt the way it spread her open, bigger than his fingers but yielding and soft when it slipped deep into her body.

She grabbed his horns as her whole body started to feel like she was exploding over and over, waves of ecstasy running out from her chest and tingling through her limbs so strongly that every muscle flexed and contracted as they passed. She was crying out, she realized, louder than she'd thought possible but unable to stop until the pulsating heat between her legs began to die away. She felt her body go limp, still holding onto his horns for support and her legs falling open. First of Dusk gave a gasp as his tongue slid from between her soaked legs.

"I think I nearly drowned." He sputtered, panting deeply as his head raised. She let go of his horns and looked down to see that almost his entire face had been splattered with her own arousal, dripping messily along his lips, cheeks, and even his forehead.

"S-Sorry..." She panted, covering her face, even as she smiled under her hands. "I d-didn't expect t-that."

Her whole body was shaking lightly in the aftermath of what might have been her first real orgasm. He gave her a smile, that teasing grin she loved.

"Alright, you laughed at my dick. And now I can make fun of the time you nearly drowned me between your legs." He said, crawling up to plant a wet kiss on her nose. "Seems fair, right?"

"Fair." She nodded, smiling up at him.

"Do you think...think that you're ready now?" he asked slowly, looking down between her legs. He was hard, and it was obvious to her how much it pained him. That huge shaft between her legs, inches from her soaked folds. He wanted to take her right there, but he couldn't bring himself to just do it.

"I'm ready, my love." She told him, seeing the naked desire for her laid plain on his face. "Go on..."

He leaned forward and settled the head against her folds, rubbing it slowly, and then carefully moved his hips and entered her.

The slick, wet heat that coated her sex helped, and she was ready for the feeling of him opening her up. But still she winced as the first few inches slipped in. She grabbed his arms around the biceps and held tight, face contorted in pain as it spread her wide. He stopped and leaned down to rest his forehead against hers.

"We can stop-" he began

"Don't you dare." She gasped out. The heat inside her burned, and it hurt, but she didn't want him to stop now. "Not until I can feel all of you..."

He kissed her cheek, mindful of the tears at the edges of her eyes, and rested his head in the crook of her neck.

Then he continued to slide into her, each inch agonizing and slow. But as he slid deeper she felt the pain begin to lessen, and become replaced with an intoxicating fullness. It still hurt up until he had slid every inch into her, and her entrance burned with the pain of being spread by something so thick.

"All...the way..." She panted, hand running through his hair as his head lay against her neck. She felt the hot breath there. He panted in bliss. And she let the pain settle into a dull ache, before soon even that was gone as he held himself within her. A light whine came as he lightly ground his shaft against her walls, desperate for the feeling of movement within her. She felt the heavy fullness shift and her body answered with a wave of gentle pleasure.

"Can...can I move?" he asked, voice needily and breathless.

"Yes. Please." She panted.

He shifted his hips once more and dragged his shaft out of her, just as slowly as he had entered. The burning pain was gradually being overtaken by growing pleasure as he slid from her body. Once more as she was filled by his gentle thrust she felt the stinging stretch ebbing away, and a wave of desire wash over her. She felt ecstasy lance through her whole body, as if struck by lightning. Her moan came out long and loud, encouraging him to continue. She felt the way her body was filled more than she'd thought possible every time he slowly pushed into her, and as if she'd been left hollow and empty as he pulled out. Her hands had gripped the hair running down his back for support as her whole body shook with each thrust. She felt him all now. The warmth inside her, his heartbeat as it pulsed within her. It was wonderful.

"Faster now..." She panted, pulling his head up to look at him with loving eyes, full of happiness. "Let it go, my love."

He closed his eyes as he began to thrust the way he wanted, a quick and constant pace that made her arch her back and yell out in sudden bliss. Hands went to the fur sheets and gripped them tightly, balled into fists while he leaned over her body. His hands gripped her waist and pulled her back into his thrusts. She cried out for more, words lost in a stream of moans and gasps. She felt like when he'd used his tongue to bring her over the edge. But this time it didn't stop, going on and on as he connected with her so deeply.

"Nightsail...I'm..." He shuddered as he bent forward, never stopping the frantic thrusts that now overtook any consistent pattern. "I can't last..."

She pressed her hips up to meet him. His hands perfectly fit along her hips. The way he held her there felt so right.

She cried out, eyes half open to watch the way he was so focused on giving her all of him, his body shining in the lamplight, sheened in sweat. "D-don't stop, I n-need you..."

He let go of her waist and his hands came to rest beside her face as he leaned in to kiss her. She threw her arms around him, fingers running down his back. He was uncaring of the scratches those sharp claws left as she gripped him, inside and out. He drove himself into her, groaning heavily into their uncoordinated kiss. He wasn't able to concentrate like this, and his lips met hers in random pecks, tongue licking over her own. All thought was lost to the flows of desire.

With a loud, shuddering moan he held himself within her. His climax washed over him, the ecstasy of a release long needed. And just like before she felt as if her body was overtaken by waves of unbearable pleasure, over and over as if she was being struck. The warmth that blossomed within her was only intensified by the fire racing within her. It burned in a way that made her eyes roll back and breath catch in her throat. If she died like this, unable to control her body, choking on this feeling, she would gladly do so.

They lay there, the furs below them soaked with sweat. Neither wanted to move. Neither had the power to do so when their bodies were wracked with the aftershocks of such a long desired dream. Nightsail shuddered, closing her legs around his waist and drawing him in. She nuzzled into his neck, up over his cheek, taking in his scent in that moment of connection. He ground his hips into her and she shook in the rapture of his embrace, taking in all he wanted to give her.

First of Dusk returned the primal gesture, nuzzling his nose and cheek over her neck. He breathed in the scent of her skin, her hair. She was like a drug to him right now, and he needed to feel the hold she had over him at this moment.

When the time came that they had the will to pull away they collapsed next to one another, bodies separating from their hot embrace. She felt him slip from her body and let out a satisfied moan as his warmth flooded down onto the furs from within her. She felt so empty without him filling her, and she knew that that fullness was a feeling she'd probably grow to crave, as embarrassing as that thought was.

"Gods above..." She muttered, panting deeply as he hand traced down her stomach, her other arm slung over her face in exhaustion.

"I can't believe..." He answered, breath coming in deep gulps. "How good that was..."

She rolled over to rest her head on her shoulder, and pulled in closer to him as she caught her breath.

"Everything you imagined your first time would be?" She asked breathily. He chuckled in response and draped his arm across her side as he rolled to face her.

"Better than anything I had imagined with you..." He panted.

"You've...imagined this before?" She asked, surprise clear on her tired features.

"I...may have given it a lot of thought." He admitted, looking down her body to avoid her eyes. "Most of it when I could find some privacy and...jerk off."

"How often was that? The times with...me on your mind." She lay her head on her arm, stretched out to trace gentle lines through his hair, a light smile under half lidded eyes.

"For the last year it's been almost every time." He told her, looking back up to meet her sleepy gaze. He smiled and laughed gently. "I was so infatuated, but I couldn't find the courage to tell you how badly I was in love."

"I think you just did." She said, taking his free hand in her own and drawing it to her lips. She kissed the back of his hand and held it palm on her cheek. "I'm glad I was on your mind so much."

"For the last three months I couldn't get you off of it..." He said, and she noticed his hand shaking, ever so lightly against her face.

"What's wrong?" She asked with a worried frown. He looked down again, and she could see his body was shivering.

"I'm scared, Nightsail." He croaked. "Every day I felt like I'd wake up to find you'd died. And I'm still scared of that."

His head dipped further, and his grip on her hand tightened and he shuddered.

"Waking up tomorrow to find you gone. Scared the cancer is going to come back and you won't survive it this time." he went on. "I couldn't leave your bedside without thinking I'd lose every second I had left to be next to you. I'm so scared of it. I'm still so scared."

Nightsail put her arm over him and pulled him close to her. She felt his body shaking, and his hand reached out to hold on tight to her lithe form.

"First of Dusk...every minute you've spent with me tonight...for the last three nights. If I did die now, I would be happier than I'd ever been because of them." She whispered to him. Her hand stroked through his hair, comforting the boy she loved. "But I'm not going to die. I don't want to leave this world anymore knowing you're here with me."

"How do you know that?" He begged. He wanted desperately to believe her. For her words to chase away the dread that had spent so long settling within him.

"Because with you helping me be strong, I won't ever need to worry about that." She cooed.

He held her tightly for a long time as she stroked his hair. As time passed, she began to gently sing. The same song grandmother Antonia had sung to her from times of their people long past. The song she'd carried with her when the old woman had left the homeland to the far shores of San Sebastian, taking up a Spanish name and marrying in old age a new man she had grown to love.

"Oh my love, be not afraid.

The night that comes will sing for you and I.

The wind and the snow

The hearth burning low

Here in my arms as the wind will moan...

The voices sing to welcome you home.

When it's dark and it's cold, my arms will enfold,

And around you the night will sing you a song...

I love you, my dear

Be you far off or near.

And all night we will sing.

Until sleep comes to take us,

Soft on the night mother's wings..."

She felt him fading from her, His eyes barely open. He held her even as sleep beckoned, and whispered to her.

"Thank you for loving me back, Nightsail."

She pulled the blanket over them both, enfolding them in the warmth of the furs.

"I'll love you all my life, First of Dusk..." She told him. It was true. She would love him through whatever came and whatever went. As long as they had each other.

The two were cast into a fulfilling sleep under the lamplight, burning throughout their slumber. The night was alive with their sweet song, and they followed each other into the gentle dark